How Dating Apps Affect Us
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 6 ก.ค. 2024
- Internet Analysis: dating apps!! finally! this video is an overview of the history of online dating, why we use dating apps, and how they affect our behavior and self-esteem. Enjoy!
#internetanalysis #commentary #datingapps
Cute thumbnail art is by Vicky Leta, Mashable.
We have to deal with so much, dating online! so many different apps and websites: okcupid, PoF, christianmingle, tinder, match, happn, bumble??? We have to make our profiles, judge other people on their photos, reply to too many messages. Plus the worst: bad pick up lines, ghosting, breadcrumbing ??? I'M OVERWHELMED - thank god I have a boyfriend
TIME STAMPS:
0:00 - intro & quick history of online dating
1:16 - the three main types of online dating, according to me: traditional dating websites, dating & hookup apps, and meeting "organically" online
2:12 - online dating has become common and normalized. due to technology and people moving to new cities, it's easiest to meet people online
4:07 - why else do people use dating apps?
4:36 - PSA: meeting your partner online is valid!! congrats on finding love! don't let the online dating stigma bother you
5:39 - this vid is a bit heteronormative. the next vid in this series will include how race and sexuality can impact your experience online dating
6:22 - photos and profiles can be misleading. dating sites like match.com or okcupid calculate your compatibility based on how you answer SURVEYS and questionnaires (I love them ok sorry)
7:52 - apps like Tinder are photo-centric. people judge others based on their photos / how photogenic they are. Is it fair to overly edit / Facetune your online dating photos?
10:35 - people judge you based on your profile or photos, but those are not YOU! not the real you, you know??
11:28 - SWIPING. it's addictive. it's dehumanizing. it's the best thing that's ever happened to dating apps tbh
12:18 - dating apps give us TOO MANY OPTIONS
12:59 - a generalization of the behavior of straight people on dating apps AND A CLIP FROM CONTRAPOINTSSS BLESS HER
14:44 - how do dating apps affect our self-esteem? do people use dating apps for validation? how can we have a healthy relationship with these apps?
16:37 - people behave terribly on dating apps and they're pretty bad at communication. having so many other options at your fingertips can cause people to be careless or disrespectful
19:40 - many people get trapped in the online dating cycle, with endless swiping, chats, meetups, then back to swiping. What happens when we distract ourselves from rejection?
20:23 - more inconsiderate, unhealthy behaviors, such as ghosting and breadcrumbing
22:45 - are there any ways for us to make online dating better?
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Hello my dudes! My name is Tiffany Ferguson. I’m a 23 year old sharing my thoughts and life experiences. Here on Tiffanyferg, recently I've been working on my Internet Analysis series, where I research and share some commentary about online trends. I also occasionally talk about my experiences with college, traveling, study abroad, veganism, and other young-adult tings.
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I’ve been on Tinder and seen guys put in their bio “willing to LIE about how we met” Lmaooooo
Hello I'm looking for a dating partner
Lmao that is funny
@@braddock4463 It's not tinder m8 it's youtube.
@@ES11777 its funny how your replying now and i commented 2 month ago
Thats literally half the girls bios on pof, when i was on there.
drew gooden met his wife because she commented on one of his vines and that has to be the purest thing ever
thats so wholesome omggg
@Julia lmaoooo
@Julia that was brilliant hahaha
Aww
Julia omg I love this comment 😂😂
Joke's on you, my guy. I'm unable to put myself out there in person AND online.
Moriah Yancy this sums up my entire personality
Samesies... I haven't dated in a decade. Yup
Shit warn ppl before you strike tf
I usually just write "にゃあん" in my bio on literally everywhere because I'm shy.
@@kandijoneko1508 ?
Totally agree... it IS like shopping for humans. It makes people disposable. When I used to be dating on apps, it was difficult to know if dates would even actually happen. The ghosting is real, y'all.
DEFINITELY, ghosting pretty fucking sad and pathetic.
My god, yes, in my experience of lesbian online dating, mostly the dates never even happen
Ghosting is not really as bad as constantly being told BY TEXT that the two of you did not mesh together, after you thought things were going well. I'd rather be ghosted, honestly.
...dating apps were designed for women, and who loves shopping more than women.
Yeah, it kinda sucks.
no matter how great online dating is, the unhealthy dating behaviors its normalized are undeniable. I was legit nodding my head agreeing with you the whole video LOL
The truth is that at the end of the day the people make online dating work. If we can't behave properly then any app never will be healthy for ourselves.
Gabriel I agree,
but at the same time some of the apps such as tindir encourage unhealthy dating behaviors, without people realizing it, And even change the way people act toward eachother.
It’s seen as the norm. That’s a problem.
It's only great for women and men who are in the top bracket of attractiveness.
@@harrypike5140 It's great for 80% of women and 15-20% of men because the vast imbalance in user and swipe rate.. Guys make up 80-90% of dating app users and swipe yes 50%. Girls make up 10-20% of users and swipe yes 4%. I have sources below.
You're so well spoken and educated I could honestly watch you all day
I do watch her all day and all night
@CartoonBeast thanks for pointing it out, now I can't stop laughing
Tiffany could make a 5 hour video and I would still give her my watch time
I’m even a few years older but I feel like she makes everything make sense it’s like 💆🏽♀️
For reaaaaal, even when I am not completely able to understand English.
While online dating (as a straight woman looking for a relationship), these were the rules I made for myself that worked well for me:
1) Don't be afraid to message first. It may really make you stand out as a woman.
2) Video chat with someone before deciding to meet them in person (reduces your risk of getting catfished)
3) Don't talk to someone online for more than two weeks before meeting up and seeing if you actually connect IRL
4) Don't give a date your actual phone number, address or social media handles until after the first date, in case they end up being creepy or making you uncomfortable and you don't want to see them again.
5) Don't ghost. Unless he's creepy/scary/pushy or a total jerk...if you aren't interested, be honest but kind. At the end of the day you are all humans with feelings, searching for love. Just because someone's not right for you, doesn't mean they deserve to be ghosted.
6) By date 6 or week 4 (whichever comes first), decide if you want to continue seeing them exclusively, or move on. Dating multiple people distracted me emotionally, was tiring, and made it hard for me to gauge if I was really into someone or not. If I wasn't sure by then, I probably wasn't into them and was wasting everyone's time. If I was into them, I reasoned that they deserved my complete attention to give the relationship a real chance. Seeing them exclusively also meant deactivating my account.
7) If a relationship ends, don't reactivate until at least a week after the breakup. Nothing productive comes out of what you would do on the site that week. Your time is better spent healing and reflecting on lessons learned.
Anyway, these were some personal standards I came up for myself after many trials and tribulations w/ online dating on different sites/apps. I eventually met my husband on OKCupid and we've been happily ever after for four years :) Best of luck, Gen Z, and may the odds be ever in your favor! --A millennial
You sound like a healthy well adjusted woman. If I could swipe right right now I would
Thanks for the tip. I will implement that into my dating strategy. I also found that if I have a habit with texting but not speaking with the person on the phone that you have matched with on tinder can increase the likely hood of ghosting or not wanting the person.
Hm...I think I'm being ghosted. Why woman share their facebook id and then they reject my friend request after that, no reply even I text "hello, bla bla bla ...". In tinder, they just text 1 sentence which includes their fb info @@ I feel so down just like this and dont understand at all.
Copied everything!!
@@NamNK_ it might be a bot
in korea there's a dating app where you need to upload a pic of yourself so people can rate you and you can only join the app if your rating is on average higher than a 7... ik this sounds like a black mirror episode
Holy shit that will really mess with someone's self esteem. Why is this encouraged???
What the app name please answer? 🤔
is that app still popular or ever was?
Wha- insanity
Photoshop go BRRRRRR
Dating apps are bad simply for the reason they’re businesses. They need you to keep coming back and that’s what the apps are designed to do, get you to keep coming back. But if a dating app were truly great, you’d stop using it fast 🤷♂️
We have the hookup culture to blame for it, not the apps per se, you can make what you want of the tool.
@@mediumpurple4994 Hookup culture is clearly a side effect of online dating.
TH-cam used to be a dating site
@@bingoing LOL Hookup culture doesn't exist, at least from my perspective.
Davon Da_God. R u ok???
you should do a video about Instagram stalking/other social media “stalking”
Yes!!!
Yea like how facebook is so freaking easy to find people on I'm in high school and I've found like 7/13 of my teachers that teach me on Facebook kind of dangerous
@@zizi6538 that seems extremely taboo. They should have to block students. Wow, I never even thought of that.........
@@kimmyball4961 yea they made a meme about him because of his post on Facebook of him dancing and other teachers posts
yesss
I promised myself I'd only want to meet people in real life. So in other words I've resigned myself to the perpetually alone lifestyle.
Same.🤷♀️
Also same
Hey don't worry it's actually possible! Even in the cursed times of covid I was able to find a partner IRL. Don't lose hope folks!
Same 😖
Same.
Imagine a dating app that shows your name; age; career; interests etc and you only see a picture of the person AFTER you have swiped
umm louise i get this but also when we approach people irl it’s largely aesthetic aswell even though we do have a better grasp of chemistry/personality, i would want people swiping on me to be physically attracted to me and it would suck if someone were to swipe on me for my traits/personality and then i know they i match because of my photo (which is dumb but it would hurt lmao)
I would fucking pay for that. I hate how on Tinder you have to tap all kinds of shit to even see the bio. Just display it along with the picture. But you idea is even better.
I'm sure there is one cause I saw ads about it on an app. In the ads people's faces are covered and they get uncovered after you start talking to the other person or something if you're interested
This wouldn't work the way you expect. Dating isn't a job application, and sexual attraction is a very important part of any relationship.
This wouldn't work. I started talking to a guy online a while back. I liked him a lot, we got great chemistry, but then we exchanged pictures and I realized I'm not attracted to him at all. I like him but I don't want to sleep with him and that is a huge problem
I never had a good experience with dating apps. I’d much rather meet in person, but unfortunately I think most people rely on using dating apps instead. I also always felt super gross after using an app and would delete it right away. It does initially give a confidence boost but then I realized how difficult it was to find someone genuine and now I no longer see a point in using them (for me anyway). I also agree that it’s effecting our communication skills. The nasty things some guys will say online are most likely not what they would say in person.
"The nasty things some guys will say online are most likely not what they would say in person." That suggests to me that people still have their communication skills in real life. I'd become really worried if people started behaving offline the way they do online.
Anna133199 Then my question is why even say those things behind a screen? If you wouldn’t say that to someone in person, I don’t understand how that’s acceptable to say online. The issue I see is that people can pretend to be totally different through text rather than in person. I’ve had that happen to me in the past and I developed some trust issues from it. I get where you’re coming from though! I agree it would be bad if everyone just said what came first to their mind. But then again, some people are like that, i.e. catcalling.
Nina J It’s an actual psychological thing that being behind a computer screen makes us feel anonymous and gives us a false sense of security and confidence. Even knowing the person knows your face and a little bit about you, still gives you more confidence because of the distance. You don’t have to sit there and watch their facial reactions to what you say, so you become a lot more confident in what you’re saying. Even with my friends, people I’ve known for YEARS there’s still somethings that like I’d be uncomfortable asking them face to face so I just ask through text.
so true
And most guys IRL are so ugly right... ugh, disgusting.
I find on dating apps its harder to be my true and authentic self...i try to fit into the homogenized version of what i think is going to get me the most right swipes instead of looking for someone who actually likes the real me, flaws weirdness & all
Weeping Willow this TEA! So true
Sameeeeeee
Your post should be pinned at the top. No matter how hard I tried I would find myself looking at other profiles and adjusting my own to what I thought was what others wanted. I think a real profile of myself would completely take me out of the running.
That's not a problem with the app, that's a problem with you being dishonest.
I'm the opposite but I didn't have the greatest luck with online dating. It was fun but my numbers were not high. I met my husband through friends.
I get ghosted almost every single time I get a match. The ones that agree to go on a date stand me up every single time. I've stopped using these apps because they destroy self esteem.
So true 😑
Day Night men who think like you are probably low fruit of 1/10 with no dating prospects and should go back to the incel forum. ✋maybe your buddies there will take you on a date princess
@deuteros why does their comment have so many upvotes wtf?
@@kirstyc2176 There's no reason to be so nasty. Unlike some other (shitty) men elsewhere here, Graham has said nothing incely or anything. Lots of people get no dates on OKC for reasons that have nothing to do with character. Perhaps Graham has character issues but you can't tell that from his completely reasonable comment. You can, however, tell from your comment that you probably have character issues. You sound like a high school mean girl who bullies the less popular kids. Someone I definitely wouldn't want to be around.
I imagine that you're also probably ableist as well, since one reason (though not the number one reason) for people struggling on dating apps is that they are neurodivergent and have trouble navigating dating app conversation and "playing the game" and you come across as the sort of person who would mock and bully people for that.
For your sake, I hope you are really young. Because you've got a lot of growing up to do. (Hopefully, you've done so in the past year.) You sound like the female version of an MRA.
That's 'cause you're a dude, dude!
And people will kick you when you're down because you're seen as weak for bringing up your issue.
Rookie mistake... Best not to mention that. You probably won't get much empathy.
But I can relate. All I can say is that online was a waste for me. IRL is the way to go, unless you're the upper echelon of men.
Good luck.
As a black woman who used to get on OK Cupid, Match, POF, eharmony, etc, I realized that my self esteem was impacted on these sites. Black women are the less likely to be messaged and responded to (even if I message first). I also dealt with creepy, belittling messages about my chocolate skin tone. My spirit was just like NO, ain't doing it. I also don't believe in hooking up with strangers (demisexual). Now that I'm off of them I feel so much better.
You got messages?
So sorry to read what kind of horrible people are on the apps!! Happy you did not continue to use them.
I love that you mentioned both Contrapoints and Kurtis Conner because they, as well as you, are my favs.
yes!!!
Ah, I see that you are a person of culture
Sameeeee
samee!! esp. contrapoints
This is my second video of hers and I already loved her so when she mentioned Kurtis I was like SUBSCRIBE
The thing that sucks for the LGBT+ community it’s often extremely hard to find people in your area in person.
I’m a feminine girl who likes other fem girls so it’s always hard for me to meet girls in person because it’s hard to know who’s gay when they’re very feminine. (I know it’s a stereotype but it is true to some degree)
Also, I think I often don’t get approached as much because I look like a straight girl.
So... You would pretty much have to wear a shirt that says "I'm a lesbian" in order to get noticed by other lesbians.
Bisexual femme girl here... so many layers of complicated and emotions around this. I’ve just given up.
It’s super hard to meet other women in person! Online is def the way to go (especially if ur femme) but unfortunately a lot of the same dating app problems are still there :-/
The Vintage Guidebook I respect your struggle but I’m in New York City people are plentiful here. I’m talking about the stereo type of image. People think if you ID with one of those letters LGBTQ+ you should look a certain way. Act a certain way. I love my body and showing off my body. Most of the time people think I’m a straight girl that sexualizing her self. Feminism comes in so many different forms. I am definitely held at a handicap for being conventionally attractive and being Bisexual rather than strictly Gay. It sucks; it’s lonely. Do I sacrifice who I am to fit in to the LGBTQ+ community?
Alexandra Marks Yeah, it sucks that lesbians often won’t date/have bias attitudes towards bisexual women. And it sucks that people often expect gay women to look a certain way.
But all I have to say is NEVER, EVER sacrifice who you are to fit into ANY community. You’ll find someone who loves you for who you are and you’ll find friends in the community who will love you for who you are.
I found my boyfriend organically on discord. We were in the same server and we got along so well and we opened up to each other and and and we fell in love. It was really hard to convince the people around me that he wasn't a catfish or a liar. Now I have moved all the way to Sweden to live with him and I'm happier than I have ever been :)
Edit: I wouldn't recommend to anyone to do what I did. 100 things could have gone wrong and it wasn't easy either. But he was worth it. And if you're already in a situation like this with someone amazing. There's hope.
PewDiePie?
My 23 yrs old Sister just moved to Texas from Washington to be with her boyfriend she'd known for years on discord. He came to visit in person last Christmas and met everyone. They seemed very Happy this Christmas when they flew up to Visit!
Disembodied voice in your head. Very epic
Organic relationships are the best
i’m legit in the same situation right now, i’m planning on traveling to australia to meet him. we also met organically through discord and started out as friend until he confessed to me. you’re kinda giving me hope lmao
“Imagine having such little personality you don’t even want to write one single thing about yourself” you didn’t have to come for me like that 😂
my mom is always on tinder and wonders why she doesn’t have a boyfriend yet and why all the guys turn out to be grimey or there just for hookups, I try to tell her tinder is not the best place to find a significant other
She should try match.com , my dad found my step mom that way and I absolutely love her lol. Pretty sure you have to pay for it but it’s for people who really want to settle down and commit
i loved that u made this cause the sturggle is real, im on the apps looking for dates but most people just wanna hook up
They should just make an app for people who only want to hook up , so that they stop flooding dating sites.
Emily Walker HUD exists now, hopefully the fuck boys will pick up shop there.
Luke Alexander love you Luke !
Your not alone , I feel the same
OMG I love your vids
TH-cam is on FIRE with their recommendations lately
So many good female creators whose messages are healthy and I can get behind
20:13 - this is the reason why I stopped using the apps... I was just noticing that too many guys were using these platforms to find rebounds after a long term relationship had ended. I found it really selfish and irresponsible of them to not take the time out to evaluate their own shit before roping someone in to their mess, which often left me really jaded and sometimes heartbroken. I definitely think that that’s the biggest danger of these apps - you never learn how to truly be comfortable being alone or sifting through your thoughts, feelings and emotions because it’s so easy to find someone else to use as a bandaid when you’ve been subjected to difficult, but necessary, situations like a relationship ending.
facts
Exactly
@Fondil Mahbols yeah cool - I’m just talking about my personal experiences dating men. I recognise that this is symptomatic of a larger issue in which all parties are involved but I’m not going to speak on behalf of men when that’s not my experience. There is, however, an issue amongst men (which I think is a societal problem) where they expect women to shoulder the emotional burdens that they deal with. Emotional labour is a thing and it’s often women who are subjected to it. I’m not discrediting men’s experiences on the apps (ie being reduced to their monetary worth, their height, etc.) but what I’m saying is that the way that heterosexual women navigate these apps is actually very different to men.
Same. Except they didn't rope me in.
Spot on!!!
ngl... i date men and women and i’ve ghosted a lot of men because they can be very pushy and overwhelming. like they want to meet right away and start being lovey dovey very fast. and i just get stressed out and ghost them before having an anxiety attack... am i wrong?
kiddo i do the same thing! lol men are soooo aggressive and pushy
same same
No, you aren't wrong. They need to respect your boundaries. They are probably creeps anyway.
I mean I feel like it depends on if you made your boundaries clear. I feel like we need to be pushy because we're the ones supposed to ask first and be the active one, so they might have not meant crossing any boundaries. But if they're just ignoring that then yeah your well being is much more important.
Badreddine Kasmi yeah i agree. like i said, i also date women so it’s hard to read the situation through text and understand if you’re being too pushy or too distant. but at the same time when men get too forward and overwhelming i feel very stressed out and just remove myself from the situation completely. which is me also being afraid of confrontation since i’m already stressed. i do feel sometimes that it’s not fair for them but i can’t get over this anxiety. now i simply removed the option to see men’s profiles on tinder to avoid it... which is not ideal either
“They’re not swiping right on you..because they don’t know you” oh my god girl, preach!! 🙇🏽♀️🙇🏽♀️🙇🏽♀️
"How we can make dating online better"
But dating apps weren't created to make a good dating, they were created for profits. There are numerous ways in which they can be changed in order to make experience better for users, but this is NOT in the interest of the developers. They want us to be addicted to the apps, not settled happily in a couple and deleting them. And it makes everything even more tragic - thinking how much business (read: capitalism!) mediates our personal relationships and intervenes in them.
With regards to apps being shallow, I don't necessarily agree with that. If someone was in a bar, the same rules apply, someone needs to be attractive to you for you to want to speak to them. Ive never liked the phrase "don't judge a book by its cover," because, as an avid reader, the cover is what made me pick up thre book and see if I wanted to read it. However, snap chat filters have got to go! That's getting ridiculous for both women and men.
If you're picking someone from your work/friends of the friends circle, you're probably the people of same age, class, very likely even style, so you won't pick them out immediately, and will probably pick them out because of their behaviour, personality and your shared ideas
There are many ways you can meet people without purely choosing them off of looks. A bar is also a very superficial environment, second only to dating apps. Maybe this doesn't apply to everyone, but for myself, I can find someone just normal at first, but then grow an attraction for them once I get to know them, or we develop a good chemistry, or I see that they're really smart, funny or interesting. On the flipside, objectively good-looking people can become really ugly in my eyes if, once I get to know them, I find out they're super boring, dull, mean spirited, or we just don't vibe at all.
I'm seeing guys with Snapchat filters. I automatically think they are trying to be sneaky so I skip them. I've even met guys who use someone else's picture smh
I ALSO love Kurtis Conner wow you're really doin it!
Also another thing I'd like to hear you analyze is like party/drug culture online. Like how drugs and alcohol are talked about (and not talked about) online and how that influences people's attitudes and habits around. TY
Chaney Dalton same!
This would be so interesting!
I'm kind of done with dating apps, they're bad for my mental health. But when I did use them, I decided to make a super honest profile, with an extensive bio and fotos that were not the prettiest, but the most accurate of what I'd be like if you met me irl. I just figured I didn't want to disappoint people if we actually met up. I got much fewer likes than I did when I still had the carefully curated pretty pictures, but the matches seemed more worthwhile. Then again, it didn't work out long term anyway, so what do I know.
Laura Higson Agreed. The last girl I met on bumble was WAY different in person. Seems like anyone can curate themselves in a way different light online than in person. I realize the juice is not worth the squeeze and more people should be way more upfront from the start of what they’re looking for. I’ve wasted too much time on there.
Omg you two should date
jk but seriously
Agree! I want to be me...I would hate to go on a date and the person be shocked to see I’m not the same person I was online
I had awful experience online dating. They turned out to be narcissistic psychos preying on nice people
Horrible.....
True
I'm running into alot of married guys or guys in "bad" relationships. So selfish
I saw a friend how has a girlfriend on hinge :/ I'm thinking about deleting it
Who*
We STAN internet analysis !!!
vloggan agreed :)
Yes!!!
Please stop using that phrase.
I met my first (and current) boyfriend on Tinder. He's shy to admit it when people ask how we met but I'm open about it considering most people our age use it.
We've been dating for 5 months now and it's great! I'm just glad he wasn't a serial killer 🤠
I can relate
I met my husband on Tinder wow
@@Tamyani me too!
Lucky you! I went on 5 tinder dates this year and didn't like any of them beyond the first date :(
Wailing Apple Core I know a lot of older couples who met through newspaper advertisements. That’s way more dodgy than meeting through tinder imo they don’t even have a picture
I tried meeting somebody in person for SO LONG, only to have terrible experience after terrible experience. This ranged from childhood friends, to guys I met in college, to people I’d talked to on and off for a year, to the cute guy at the mechanic shop, to waiters who hit on me, to guys I met through church to AAAAH!!! Finally I realized I was almost scared to go on another date because they were all so awkward at best or hurtful at worst. I joined Match without thinking I’d really “meet the one” but rather with the mindset that I was moving and I wanted to meet local people who had similar interests. I always loved hiking, going to the library, and a couple things that make it hard to talk to strangers (without having your body found in the woods a few weeks later...).
And then I proceeded to talk to one wonderful man after I stumbled onto his profile under somebody else’s “related” profiles. His bio was so thorough and it felt like something I could have written. I actually messaged him first (and funnily enough it was me asking if he was an INFP from the Mayer’s Briggs test too 😂 Love those surveys). We talked for two months before meeting in person. Huge pages and pages of conversations, in depth and funny and interesting. After dating for a few months we just felt it was right and got a place together. My love is peacefully sleeping right now while I have some morning time. This particular year has been one of my favorites so far.
So I was one of those people who said she would NEVER use an online app or site to meet people. That stigma had me good. But eventually I had to face the music. As an independent yet sensitive woman, I had eclectic interests that made it difficult to meet people face to face. And I am so happy I sorted through the Pervy messages to have a few good conversations.
My advice:
1. Your safety is always paramount. Never meet at each other’s houses the first time. Never get in each other’s cars. Meet in a neutral public place with people around (coffee shop, bar, movie, museum, zoo, beach, etc, etc). Bonus points, keep an eye on your drink and make sure no one drops anything into it. This may sound paranoid but this is literally daily life of a woman (and you know to some extent men too of course! But I specifically am bringing my gal pal perspective)
2. Ignore the creeps and those who make you uncomfortable. You owe strangers nothing, so don’t feel pressured to reply even if they message multiple times.
3. Flip side, have a courteous response for those you’re not interested in, or for conversations that have become stale. Ghosting is not cool.
4. Don’t depend on the algorithm. In my experience match worked because I found somebody’s bio, I’d hardly looked at his pictures (when I went back to do so my god he’s so cute!!!!!!!!) All my daily matches were... Surely nice guys but certainly not a match. 😂
5. Everybody is different. I found a fellow talkative introvert, and that level of communication is so important to both of us. But maybe for you when it comes to online dating you’re looking for a casual and fun relationship with someone who is also very to the point. Go for it!
6. BE HONEST ABOUT WHO YOU ARE. It’s disgusting and sad that people are so insecure, ashamed, berated, or unhappy that they would mislead another person. But if you have these problems unfortunately they are your responsibility. I had low self esteem before I joined match so I actually sought therapy FIRST. I MADE SURE I WAS GOOD WITH ME BEFORE I EVEN JOINED THE SITE. because it would be unfair to do otherwise. I also uploaded like 18 pictures of me from within the past year and a half, from different angles and places. I made my bio thorough and put in the “big things”, like that I was agnostic, wanted only a serious monogamous relationship, wanted kids, has severe allergies, etc.
7. Don’t expect anything. Life is every changing and so is online dating!
Gonna go kiss my lovebug goodbye before I head to the farmer’s market. Thanks for the video, loved this and it’s so cool to open up the conversation! I am typing this up pretty quickly so if I said anything that sounded too generalized I do apologize, I meant no offense. and the things I typed out in the list aren’t necessarily hard rules but rather just 7 points I learned or found helpful.
P.S. in regards to mental health I know this is a huge issue and some people need to continue treatment while also beginning to date, or who may never easily get to being good with themselves. I am very sorry if you have that struggle, and I didn’t mean to single you out in that point. I was talking more to people who use rejecting others as a means to self esteem.
If someone's made me feel unsafe, you can bet im gonna ghost them.
Haha haha...
It literally just takes to read a message in a wrong and non intended tone while texting, to get "scared"
We often project our own problems and insecurities on total strangers
To feel good about ourselves
I can’t spend more than 5 mins on Tinder - I start swiping based on appearance and I start feeling bad and shallow. Then I notice most of the men put zero info or effort in their bio so it means that they only rely on their looks to make an impression which is arrogant in my opinion. I wrote a whole bio for cakesake, 😂!
The whole thing is an intellectual scam.
Femme Futile I was feeling so bad for having a full bio talking about myself in a (hopefully) funny and endearing way because every dude had like “hmu if you wanna smoke or hang 💨🖖🏻”
Lauryn Freeman 😂 Yep, that’s why I don’t bother with it. I was thinking that with such a lack of bio info it would be more successful to just wink at a hot stranger in the street.
Stealing the word "cakesake." For me it's the opposite, I put so much time in my bio and I see girls like "I like to go to the beach." The end. lol
@@phillconklin382 "Fluent in sarcasm". Because I guess they think that's attractive?
@@christopher6547 Are you asking if I was being sarcastic? No, that was a genuine narration of my experience. Or are you saying you have seen girls put that in their profile? I don't particularly have a problem with that as a statement sarcasm can be funny, but if that's all they have to say it would be a hard pass for me, they sound boring and lack imagination.
i hate online dating!!!! every time i get on it im so overwhelmed, and its hard to decipher whether guys have swiped you bc theyre desperate for matches back or have a genuine interest in you. fortunately ive still been more successful in my actual life. ive always been more at ease when i start dating someone that ive known first, whether through work or friend connection.
What you described with dating apps and the unhealthy behaviors that you develop has been very true in my experience. It was hard to get out of the “tinder cycle” because it gave me instant validation. I think when I stepped back from dating apps, I began to see that a lot of the normalized behaviors made me feel like an awful human being. Like you said, processing your feelings is incredibly important. After a few months, my self-esteem rebound a bit.
It's so weird but the more I focused on doing things that made me love just being me without any sort of romantic partner involved things like working out and reading books and writing poetry/music etc. The more confident I became and it was a lasting confidence unlike the kind I got via dating apps which was instant validation but fleeting and temporary. The more I focused on me and less I focused on finding a romantic partner the more confident I became and if I were to date someone now I'd be able to comfortably say this is the best or at least better version of me than the one who used to trawl Tinder looking for love and waiting for matches or messages. Dating apps don't give you confidence I think it actually does quite the opposite. It takes it away under the guise of validation
When a dating app ad comes on before the video…
*narrows eyes*
Excellent a distraction from my essay. Thank u for making my procrastination academic so I feel less bad :)
Lmao I’m doing a science worksheet but same
You can’t just attack me like this
My as experience “””as a lesbian””” is quite different to that of straight people and gay men. In most places the pool is quite small so you get a small trickle of matches instead of a flood, which means I’ll give each match a little more consideration...as much as we bemoan the low numbers I don’t envy the “ next next next next next” nature if straight online dating, it just seems so overwhelming, I’m kind of glad I fall outside that paradigm
Of course we still have to deal with some of the same bullshit,As well as bullshit unique to queer ladies! (Just like gay men and straights have their own brand of bullshit, we all do)
The one time I used an website (10 years ago) all the women around my area just wanted 3somes with their bf/husbands... Umm no thanks.
It was impossible not to read that "as a lesbian" in a ContraPoints voice
Sarah Ready the same thing happened to me! Or I’d find out the girl had a bf and I was like uhhh what😰???
@@pancakeofdestiny immediately after reading your comment, a part of my brain put m_o_u_t_h_f_e_e_l.mp3 on loop. So thanks.
I’m a straight guy and I get less matches haha
I personally prefer in person connections rather than dating apps. For me the body language of a person and how they interact with you is a lot more attractive than just looks. When I see a picture it is so difficult to know if I find the person attractive or not, cause to me I don't focus on the looks itself, but more how they express themselves, and their facial expressions. I actually find people less attractive if I don't know them, but if I have talked with them there is a higher chance they look more attractive to me. For me, personality and how they communicate with me is a huge part of what makes them look good, because if you have a shitty personality no matter how close to the beauty standards you are, I don't find you attractive.
I so agree!
I love filling out surveys about myself too!! I thought I was just really weird but it's so fun! Thanks for not making me feel alone
I really hate online dating. I'm a gay guy, and because our community is so small we're basically forced into it. I wish I didn't feel the need to meet people online.
Lesbian here. I've been so damn afraid of the thing you just said there, that we gotta participate... Idunno.
We should have international gaygenda signs to show that we are looking or something.
A b. Small? Maybe in your area
I love ContraPoints so much, so glad she’s included in this vid
Winter I know me too. Natalie is amazing. She’s so gorgeous and smart.
We have the same name by the way. 😋
Contrapoints is such a gem!!!
Love her so much.
o u r d a r k m o t h e r b e i n g ///r e p r e s e n t e d///
Yes! Gotta love Natalie!
just here to make sure my tinder marriage is ok
Dating apps have an inherent conflict of interest. If they're too successful, they lose their customer. This whole industry needs to be fixed.
I always love seeing your point of view on different topics
This channel is so frustrating. She addresses so many interesting topics, but in such a shallow and superficial way! :/
This is what happens when someone critiques society while being apolitical... I think I'd rather unsub than watch another superficial take, only regurgitating the more sophisticated views of other youtubers who have also spoken on the subject... :/
Adela Setara no one is forcing you to watch. This comment is about how they LIKE watching her take on it. No need to come and crap on that.
@@thewearywriter2974 No one is forcing you to read my comment. This comment is about how one might NOT like superficial takes on subjects that are interesting. No need to come and crap on that.
Adela Setara actually, you ARE forcing me to read your comment when you comment in on a public forum. And you ARE forcing me to read the second one by tagging me. The original comment didn’t ASK for an opinion, your comment would be acceptable and not needless negativity if it was along the lines of , “do you guys like her commentary/opinion?” But this was in fact NOT the case. Therefore your comment is just what I said originally needless and not on topic. More like a can of worms no one opened. If you’d like to spark an actual discussion I recommend making a brand new comment and copying and pasting your unprompted paragraph there because obviously people who do agree with the original comment are more likely to comment under this comment excluding you looking to poke a bear. Until then it will remain what it was in the first place, forced negativity. Have a lovely evening! :)
@@thewearywriter2974 Life is too beautiful to read your crap, so: Too long to read, SOOOOORRRY!
Stop being a toxic child. Not everyone on the internet will like the things you like, deal with it, or just stay silent, toxic troll.
I'm not gonna ruin my morning by reading your crap. Bye. :)
There is a documentary on Hulu.. about serial rapist attacking women on Tinder and some of these websites it's very scary nowadays.. can't remember the name of it!
So.... More reasons to hate dating sites.
You could meet a serial rapist on your way home from work. That doesnt mean you stop going outside 🤦
@@user-qx1om2wj1h yeah there are pple who have amazing experiences and tragic ones.. ...this is life .. what we gonna do lmaoooo
Yes but you're not potentially agreeing to meet them!
@EB
My relationship with tinder is understanding that dating online is looking for a needle in a haystack. I’ve done it multiple times and my current partner I met through tinder as well. If you have the emotional stamina and patience, you can find someone. You just have to sort through a LOT of bs to get there.
I swiped right on my friend on tinder as a joke, we r dating now lol
@Ugly Inferior Disgusting Subhuman #5'6 manlet why is ur username so derogatory. kinda sad to read
I love the topics you discuss in these videos! I have an idea for a future video topic. Could you do one on Multi-level marketing companies?
Would love to hear her take on that tbh!
Yes please
YES
casey aonso made a great video on MLMs
I think my best advice is to step up and be the kind of person with whom you'd like to interact on those apps. That means stuff like always messaging rather than ghosting (hey, just wanted to give you a heads up that I'm not feeling the vibe as much as I expected... didn't want to just ghost and hope you find the right person at some point - it's as easy as that). If they react really rudely, you can either ignore/block or write to them to say, "I think you're behaving badly, please take a minute to calm down and think about what you're writing. It's rude enough that I'm blocking you now." If you hate hookup culture, you can be really upfront about not wanting to become intimate straight away. When it's established that you'll be meeting up irl, you can pretty simply say, "hey, it's pretty forward of me, but given the reputation of [dating app], I just wanted to let you know that I'm not the kind of person who's down on the first date. I just want to be on the same page about our expectations... mine are really about grabbing coffee and chatting. What about you?" If they really just want to screw, they'll either be honest or cancel the date (or ghost). But, you and they both know.
tldr is that we can improve the toxic aspects of online dating by not participating in those aspects, even though it is sometimes awkward or embarrassing for us
Easy but ain’t nobody got time to give so many explanations to strangers you owe nothing to.
@ I see your point, and that's fair, too. But although I'm super long-winded, in the end all that needs to get written is, "Hey, just wanted to let you know that I'm not feeling it, sorry. Good luck finding someone else, though!" It's just my opinion, but that took all of 5 seconds for me to write... so, I feel like we all have that. Personally, I had a baby a week ago, and am finding time for everything, including answering comments :) I fully believe that time is what we make of it. That's just me, and you do you! But if we're talking about how to improve and humanize dating apps, I don't think I'm necessarily wrong, either.
@Ugly Inferior Disgusting Subhuman #5'6 manlet Well, to be honest I've never used a dating app, so it's true that I don't have a good grasp of how the dynamic is, strictly speaking. But, just because it may never happen the way I described doesn't mean it shouldn't! My comment has all of 32 likes right now, so I know it won't change the world. But a reminder of how we could all treat each other better is... nice.
And, for what it's worth, my dating life (IRL) was always full of respect and good behavior from both sides... possibly by treating men I was interested in with honesty and thoughtfulness, I received similar treatment (and ended up with, imo, the best husband in the world). That was long ago, though, before app dating was really a thing, and it's possible that I'd meet way more people who were kind of awful nowadays, no matter how I treated them.
Also, totally off point, and none of my business... but your username makes me feel like you might be going through some stuff... I know it doesn't mean anything much, but I hope that you have a good day and that you can feel better about yourself. Although maybe the name is just a joke and you're doing great, in which case ignore this paragraph ^^' (although I still hope you have a good day)
The problem is women's unrealistic expectations today. I want you to read the stats below, the objective stats.
I can provide sources for all this data. Well dating apps are 80-90% men. Women swipe yes on 4%, men swipe right on 50% of women. Women find 80% of men below a 5 on an attractiveness scale. This imbalance has women who are 6s thinking they're more valuable than guys who are 8s or 9s. Which in turn leads to everybody not feeling like they're getting a good deal, but for the large part given the stats I gave you, it's women thinking they all deserve a very highest of high value man and will continually ghost until they do, but it never happens. The next one will always be the best one, but that 9 is aware you're a 6. That 6 you think is a 4 is actually on your field.
A dating app experiment on youtube showed 2 people both 5/10. An average guy and girl. THe girl had over 1,000 likes in 4 days. The guy had 9. If that doesn't entail the difference I don't know what does.
Men are literally dying of thirst in a desert. Women are in a walk in fridge with 1,000 bottles of water, but won't drink any because they're not the perfect brand, shape, size, flavoring, material, and cap.
The only justice for men comes when women think the gravy train will ride forever and keep playing this game, then hit 31 or 32 and find out slowly what it's like to be considered not as desirabel as a younger girl. It's when the man starts to have more power and goes for the mid twenties girl
economictimes.indiatimes.com/magazines/panache/the-math-behind-dating-apps-women-like-only-4-out-of-100-profiles-men-more-likely-to-swipe-right/articleshow/75736043.cms?from=mdr
www.netimperative.com/2019/04/05/online-dating-trends-men-outnumber-women-on-tinder-by-9-to-1-while-grinder-wins-for-age-diversity/
Tiffany, listen--I once had a guy on OKCupid try to commission from me a drawing of his genitals, because I had included in my profile that I was an artist. Thankfully, he didn't send a 'reference photo' with the paragraph-long request.
Kurtis Conner saving our greetings system
Every time I compliment someone on their hair or other physical attributes it never really starts an actual conversation. They just say thanks and maybe some small talk but nothing more lol
Oh my god!!! I totally understand this, especially how in my university I compliment others and I am hoping that we somehow establish a small conversation but it goes in vain!!
@@taopanda98 I think the same. But I also think if someone compliments you , how are you supposed to make that into a convo if they say oh I like your eyes or something?
@@sydnerxx yes as a flamboyant dresser I receive lots of these and want to say more than thank you but never know what to say! Please help
I think the most important thing to remember when using a dating app is to know what you want, and to not let the bad experiences dissuade you from pursuing your relationship goals & putting your authentic self out there. Because at the end of the day you're just looking for one real connection, and that's difficult no matter where your platform is whether it be online or offline.
Well said!!
To add on, I think it also helps to know that the type of person you're looking for exists.
Knowing what you're looking for but being alone in that endeavor ain't great.
@Ugly Inferior Disgusting Subhuman #5'6 manlet Are you trying to say that everyone is looking for "chads"?
@Ugly Inferior Disgusting Subhuman #5'6 manlet How do you know that?
@Ugly Inferior Disgusting Subhuman #5'6 manlet Where in biology does it say that?
I've tried dating apps and they aren't for me, rather meet someone in person and not force anything.
I met my fiancé through our drug dealer that we both met online ha. I tried dating apps but my successful relationships have always been through meeting someone in person. I’m embarrassed that me and my fiancé met the way we did and that our relationship was what it was when we were first dating & using together BUT honestly I’m embracing our story and it’s become a success story and I can’t wait to share that with our kids. When me and my fiancé met I hadn’t showered for weeks, was wearing someone else’s hoodie, someone else’s shirt and someone else’s track pants and my 3yr old son’s socks. And my fiancé didn’t mind, he saw through it and saw a person who was different to most of the people in the drug scene. And I saw the same in him - he was playing this hard, cold, tough guy but I called him out on it straight up and I was like man you don’t belong in this scene either... and that’s probably why we were able to get out of it together. Our relationship was scary while we were using BUT in that situation he was the best person I could have met AND when we got clean I got to really know him and we worked perfectly together when we’re clean... and I love that and I’m lucky. I don’t like dating apps. All I found on there was guys who just wanted to hook up, guys who would string me along then when I was invested they’d drop me etc. like I said me and my fiancé’s story is not conventional or um... something anything wants to aspire to BUT it’s our story and it worked out.
That is such a heartwarming story. Congrats on staying clean :)
tiffany ferg using a contrapoints clip??? greatest youtube crossover in herstory! 🤩💞✨
You should talk about our privacy online and how corporations own our information
Ed Snowden Whaddup!
GOD View watchz YOu!
did ‘dark side of online dating’ ever come out cause i need it !?!?
I met my boyfriend on the internet in 2012. We met up on the summer of 2012 and started dating. This june is our 7th year anniversary. We were in a long distance relationship for 3 years and now we've been living together for 4 years 🥰 Edit: it wasn't a dating app though, it was a chat forum, kind of 😅
been subscribed to you since my freshman year of college (i just graduated a few weeks ago), and im so happy that your channel is taking off. you are always so level headed and well spoken. i luv u, kween!
Congratulations on graduating!!
In your next video on online dating could you potentially discuss the intersection between using dating apps and mental illnesses (i.e. depression, anxiety, etc.). As in, how dating apps could help and/or heighten symptoms of these illnesses. As someone who has pretty severe social anxiety, dating apps help me be able to talk to people without having to go to a bar or social gathering that could be triggering for me; but I still fall into many of the pitfalls (i.e. ghosting) as you discussed in this video.
Supplying the Light this would be a good topic ! I also have anxiety. I think it helps with meeting people for sure. I also have depression and it heightens that a bunch when I get rejected though which sucks .🤦🏻♀️
Supplying the Light, if you have these problems then dating apps many only serve as a crutch IMO, as you’ll have to eventually face the person anyways. But if it’s something that’s really bad I can sympathize.
I think most of us have social anxiety to some degree. The cure for some of us to realize we’re not that much different, and stop giving a fuck. 😊
I met my current bf on tinder and he is the best relationship I have ever experienced, we both would have never met in person bc we are both shy and introverts despite living 20 mins away from each other. before that, I dated guys that I met in person because of friends or work and those relationships turned out horrible because I rushed into those relationships. (not shitting on either choice but I feel if you're less outgoing that dating apps can help you find someone perfect for you).
“There are literally thousands of options.”
Then there are people like me who rarely match anyone and everyone I have ever matched has ghosted me. :(
It’s okay!!! You’ll find someone trust me. Don’t give up hope 😢❤️❤️❤️❤️😇
Dont compare yourself to women, average woman has 999+ matched on tinder anyways
Average for men is like 50
So dont beat yourself because of it xd
There are thousands of options for WOMEN. For men, unless you are in the top 10% in the looks department, you will have a tough time.
Guessing you're a guy, don't worry. That's how it is for most guys. Her comment is describing a purely female experience for the most part.
Wow i was actually mid swipe on bumble lololol
I’ve gotten into a lot of emotionally weird and abusive relationships through dating apps bc I was insecure about myself and the guys I matched with appeared normal online but were psychos or emotionally immature once we started hitting it off. Once you do online dating for the right reasons, once you’re secure with yourself, once you make positive moves in your life, it’s easier to point out the red flags and find someone who’s more compatible with you.
Same here. This is my main problem with dating apps. Usually, secure, healthy people aren't the ones using Tinder. I'd rather meet someone irl
NO HONESTLY- this girl was found missing due to a kidnapping from meeting this guy in person theough Hinged! Rumors say she was “Pimped out” in California😕
Another problem is people in relationships using dating apps to cheat
See the person with no clear visible photo and vague information - swipe left
I feel like being a lesbian I really could never just go up and hit on someone cause theyre 90% chance straight and I don't know what kind of negative reaction I might get if I am outing myself and making a move like that. I met my partner on tinder and we live together now. We dont make up a story, we met on tinder.
Worse than that, they can be bi-curious
I hope her lgbtq video is as good as this one for you guys cuz this was very straight
thank you so much for always being lgbt inclusive! i clicked on this being pretty sure gay dating apps wouldn't be mentioned, then i remembered it was you aha, i'm looking forward to the next video, and this one was really informative and articulate as always :-)
Arya Beltaine yes most definitely and she’s also inclusive of POCs. What an amazing intersectional queen!
Same! Huge thanks to Tiffany for always regarding our existence
i clicked right on the video! Tiffany, u are so engaging and insightful on issues!! i am so glad i found your channel! keep being awesome!!
I had a weird experience with tinder. I went on it as a joke, and met up with a guy I thought was funny and had really similar interests. It was so terrible that I realized I was running away from my crush (different person that I met IRL), because of the whole "there could be someone out there that is a better fit for you" mantra. I thought my crush didn't have enough interests in common, or he wasn't as cute as he could be, etc.. basically, my mind did it without me realizing, because I was so used to this type of culture.
Whatever the case, I realized I was being an idiot. I now am engaged to that crush, and we have been living together for years now. He is the cutest person I've ever seen, and it doesn't matter the amount we have in common or not. We are really happy, and we both want to make it work, 100% of the time. It doesn't matter if there is someone else out there that could be better; we are happy with one another and that's all that matters. I am thankful to that tinder date for making me realize what was important!
I needed this video and this comment section. Online dating messes with my mental health, it helps to know you’re not alone.
i personally use dating apps when i'm bored to laugh at some people's cringy bios or to just talk to new people but about the race issue, i'm afro-latina but when i had "latina" in my tinder bio for a very short time, i got so many matches and messages of people trying to guess my exact ethnicity and it was so disgusting and fetishized so i had to remove it from my bio
For attention, yes, many women do that. I'm a gay guy and I do it.
Frankly, I think there are a lot of people who want to show themselves authentically on dating apps (realistic but good photos of themselves), but because the apps themselves are based on such shallow, quick judgements-you get punished for being authentic. Of course, we all want to be our best selves, but you fall into the shallow trap even while trying to be well intentioned. If you see someone’s profile that looks to be “100% amazing” but is probs full of fake info in the profile and heavily doctored photos, many of us would rather swipe right on them for that small chance it is real. And after seeing so many “100%” photos, the average people who are doing their best (the majority of people, ironically), “95” or even “98%” seems like you’re selling yourself short. It’s a delicate balance that we’re all still trying to navigate because inherently you can’t always be yourself on the internet. That’s just not how the rules work, no matter how much we all want them to.
(Also, I’m super interested in the video you’re making about LGBT, race and dating apps. As an asexual, black female, it’s something that has affected me. And to be real, I haven’t really had that many bad experiences personally. Mostly just the weirdos who make the “milk in the coffee” jokes or “want to try a black girl”. Which is still bad, don’t get me wrong. But nothing compared to some things my other friends of color [male and female] have told me about.)
Love your videos, Tiffany. I appreciate how much detail you put into your work. Can’t wait for what you put out next.
Jennifer Aria
Le Joli Lapin
Wait. „Milk in your coffee” jokes? As in guys will actually make jokes about wanting to put their „milk” in your „coffee”? Ewwwww, eww, ew. That’s so gross on so many levels. I’m sorry you have to deal with that.
Remind yourself that you're looking for quality over quantity, and that players attract players and polished mainstream kind of beauty attracts fuckbois. Maybe I don't understand how it works, but I would put "not interested in sexting, not interested in hook ups" in my bio, sinse I am not, and if people interested in only that swipe left on me - so be it, why should I care, it is exactly what I want from them after all.
Omg "milk in coffee" comment made me cringe with disgust. There is something very wrong with some people's upbringing.
not sure how it took me so long to find your channel but i am LOVING your videos so much!!!! how do you not have millions of subscribers??
omg i love you and these internet analysis videos. you're so well spoken and everything you say makes sense and i agree with. since i have never dated before and i was in my first year of college last year, i thought why not use tinder? but i've grown to hate it yet i still find myself drawn to it so i can get that confidence boost. it's bad how addicting it is. what you said about people constantly swiping, i can relate to. my one friend was constantly doing that and talking to like 10 guys at some times and was constantly going on dates. she got out of a long relationship and never took time for herself and her emotions and i felt bad for her. i honestly don't know how i'll manage to find someone when i'm scared of people catfishing me but i have bad social skills. i hate the world we live in.
I found you through your Dote analysis and recently I've been so interested in all your vids bc of how interesting and informative they are!
Same here!
Same
Same
Bro I downloaded tinder and Bumble and deleted them afterwards cause I hate wasting my time since it’s mainly for hookups...
Rosie Rosario Out of all the apps I used Bumble was the worst. It seems to be the breeding ground for fuck boys because women have to put all the effort in.
@@asariarchie5734 "Put all the effort in", aka saying "hey" to start a conversation.
That's the entire point of these apps. If that isn't what you want, there's no point in being on them.
@@carultch Yeah, true. I went out of my way to find a website that *seemingly* wasn't just about hookups and ended on OK Cupid. You can write all you want in your bio that you're not there for hookups, but that's completely pointless if everyone else is... Terrible experience.
@@carultch I disagree that hooking up is the entire point of these dating apps. people have just made them about that.
Woooo girl, you just snagged a new subscriber. Found you from the Dote video (even as a 22 yr old I was still HIGHLY invested in the scandal because I am a WOC) and the way you articulated yourself and broke down the inherent biases operating in that situation was commendable. You are truly a supporter of my community and for that you get my support as well. Loving the series, keep it up!!
One thing I think Miss Ferg missed is that most dating apps are location based, so if you live in areas that are thinly populated (such as rural communities) you actually get very few options. Older folks also tend to get far fewer watches based on location. I'm not sure about dating websites (I assume they would do things based on location as well, but I really don't know), but apps that are location-based tend to work poorly in areas that aren't cities. A lot of the points she makes are accurate across demographics, but she keeps saying one has endless possibilities and that isn't true for everyone simply because of the location factor. I think it would be really interesting to hear from people who try to date via apps while living in remote locations and see if they share similar sentiments, similar levels of satisfaction/dissatisfaction, etc. as most of the examples she cited here that were obviously from people in largely-populated areas. Just something I was thinking about as I watched.
I rarely date in my area. I live in a family town so most people are too young for me or already married. An app I'm on now uses gps for matches. I've met way more that way. I also changed my age to younger(I look younger anyway lol) and that helps too
Country girl here. Can absolutely confirm this being the case.
You are so refreshing. An oasis in the clusterfuck desert that is TH-cam. Thank you for these vids, I love your commentary and take on things.
OOOOOH them myspace surveys 😅😅
i love surveys, im so self centered at this point i just wanna do questionnaires to talk about myself
i met my girlfriend through the 1d fandom... i can say that im quite shook hearing your friend say the same thing..... my girlfriend has a fan account that i followed and then she followed me and we started chatting and we have been dating for almost a year now hahah, im shoook
I have been refreshing your page for days waiting for this video 😭😭
OMG KUUURTIS!!! yee yee
i met my first boyfriend on tinder, but it ended after 2 years. now i've been going back on all those apps, trying to find another connection but it feels kinda hopeless. the points about having too much choice i rly resonated with. i feel like my self-esteem has kinda been shot, since when i was first on the apps, i had much more matches and conversations, now i'm thinking "what's up w that? what changed w me?" but i've learned to not take this to heart. i'm just super selective with who i swipe right on. however, i don't feel guilty about ghosting guys; i feel like i barely know them anyway and i don't owe an explanation for disappearing. unhealthy, yeah, but it's so laborious to provide closure to everyone. i've luckily never had a bad experience meeting anyone, just awkward ones. i'm still going to continue swiping bc it's so addicting, and makes me happy to see what guy messages me next. anyway thank u for the video, it was kind of a wake up call for me lol
I met a girl on a drawing game website because she drew a Countryhuman and caught my attention. I was checking through the recently finished public games and saw her drawing and then commented on it. She actually noticed it and replied. We had a nice little conversation through the comment section and later moved to direct messaging. It was pretty much of a gamble but she actually turned out to be my age! I soon realized I was catching feelings and that was horrible. Me being the confident piece of trash I am (haha no--) I confessed to her and...
Haha turns out she's straight please kill me.
But I still love her--
But she's a great friend **cries**
Ive been hooked on your videos lately, Tiffany. Keep up the good work!
ugghhh i love your videos! you are without a doubt one of my favorite youtubers - plz keep doing you ❤️❤️❤️ brilliant video!!!
I loved your closing comments! All of my friends act like I’m a superhero for approaching people in coffee shops or parties, but honestly meeting someone from tinder scares me even more. Just work up the courage and go say hi! Then if they’re giving off murderer vibes you know before you agree to a date based off of a text conversation.
im an infp tooooo.
Fellow INFP who loves Tiffany!
Me too !
Being honest on dating apps is also something I think is very hard for many people, including myself. I know I'm a weird person who is interesting and isn't perfect, but trying to explain who you are to potential dates and partners in this structured photo/text representation often feels like you're applying for a job or something. I still have a hard time trying to accurately represent myself on dating apps, even if I want to be 100% real. Ughhh
LukeJaguar I understand this, which is why I could never do the whole dating apps thing
A precursor to Tinder (and Grindr) was "Hot or Not," launched in October 2000, and initially cloud hosted in the Rackspace facilities in San Antonio, TX. It was a breakthrough in its crudeness and simplicity, immediately becoming insanely popular. Before that point, computer matching programs had been the standard for some time, and they had an aura of possessing some complex mysterious algorithm where you answered a bunch of questions and somehow it would spit out the perfect match. Eventually, we learned that was bullshit, and that people decide by picture and distance. It's interesting that the format progressed from hotness rating to hookup app to dating app.
This is what goes around(sadly) and it's incredible how you've put forth these points very systematically. Ah, you're few of the TH-camrs out there who actually knows the true meaning of content, underscoring what's happening and what's wrong ( & right ofc). I love it. Keep talking girl. Sending love from India :)