how i'm getting over heartbreak.
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 19 ก.ค. 2021
- getting raw & honest with you guys about these last few weeks & the things I've learned...thanks for being my friends
💌 instagram: @_Purple_Palace
📚My poetry book out now: www.shaynaklee.com
🦋 Patreon (podcast, meetups, community:): / purplepalace
opening up about how I've been feeling, life struggles and unexpected set backs on my divorce journey. People always say that grief isn't linear and that getting over heartbreak takes time. I thought that I could distract myself from the pain I was feeling, but what I learned is it's a lot more complicated than that. I decided to take the last few weeks off to gain perspective and come back in a better head space. I'm finally starting to feel better after stopping negative habits and letting myself spiral; I hope that this video can help anyone who is also healing from heartbreak, a breakup, betrayal or loss. I'm sorry if any of this is triggering, this is just how life is sometimes. Anyway, I love you, thanks for everything.
Find me other places online:
website: www.shaynaklee.com
Email (BUSINESS ONLY please!): Thepurplepalace711@gmail.com
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I've missed you! also if you stay until the end I've created a special sing along for anyone dealing with negative thoughts 💛💛💛💛 love youuuu
I've missed you, been checking for a new video lol I know it's only been a few weeks but you're so important to so many of us and life has been a total bitch this last week and I'm nervous and worried about so much but you're such a beautiful distraction. Ok I'll shut up now and enjoy the video while getting ready for work 💗 sending so much love from Florida!!
You are the new motivational Mary Poppins - I couldn't get the image out of my head as you were singing!
The dream is florishing ! Ps: i lived and studied at saint germain, i have made my oldest frienships there, playing music in a studio rue Dauphine (pont neuf's continuity) i really see what you mean about the places in Paris, i grew up fare from my family too, it's not easy, i've been trough a bluesy love story, i now clearly feel reborn with a similar reaction, i think it's very healthy to take time for yourself ! ✌️
Thanks so much beautiful! You are such an awesome chica!! "The dream IS flourishing" !!! Sending you so much love 💜💜💜
Omg you have no idea how much I love you! You are so real and creative and inspiring!
I love that little song lol
The dream is flourishing!
I kept staring at your shirt too hehe
The most Iconic intro ever
lol
@@thepurplepalace85 I need this as a song , screaming along tbh
Goosebumps
✨Cinematic✨
@@1111ish ✨masterpiece✨
I treated heartbreak in the exact logical way as I treat being sick - you can take medicine (walks, exercise, parties), but the only way it will go away is with time.
"What Would It Look Like If I Was Loyal to Myslef?" Genius! God knows I needed that message a year ago, though it still resonates today!
so glad it resonates! love you girl
!!!
the first two clips of this encapsulates heartbreak so accurately. healing is so non-linear; one day you are dancing around your kitchen, and the next, you just want to scream into a pillow. but all that matters is you feel your feelings, even if they aren’t super fun feelings. thank u for all your videos this year - i feel like i am not alone
A word of advice to people going through a tough time emotionally: Stay away from alcohol, it's literally a depressant and can worsen feelings of depression for days afterwards. It makes it harder to get out of a dark place.
You're hurting because you would never act like that and you thought he would never act like that, which just shows what a bigger, and bolder soul you are, you have made me realise this about myself at this moment, if you and I exist it proves that good people exist and in time we will grow and will attract another soul for another part of our journey. You posting is carthatic, for us all. When you are in the dark remember you are the light. 🎠💌
thank you Juliet! I love that "When you are in the dark remember you are the light." so beautiful
@@thepurplepalace85 *the dream is flourishing.
I made a screenshot of this. Beautiful!
That opening scene. Srsly the beginning of an Oscar-winning hit. Amazing.
It's good to see you come back with this video. Sending positive vibes for whenever yours fluctuate. Ça va le faire ~
thank you Anastesia
Obviously you guys follow each other xD
That 20 seconds clip in the beginning was ✨g o l d✨
Thank you so much
love to you friend
Shayna I was just broken up with out of nowhere and he said I love you 4 minutes before as some who is shocked confused and heart broken this video did wonders for me thank you for being such an angel!!!!!
I also remember the feeling of knowing my ex and I would move on in life, and what had been my world, would end up being just a footnote. That fact broke me. BUT. The bittersweet fact is the day will come when you remember the pain, but will no longer feel it. You'll remember the love, but no longer feel it. It will all become misty memories, that make way for a brighter future. ❤️ Facts.
When you said you had a boyfriend, I legit thought you were going to hold up the plant you were dancing with 😂
Anyway, I'm going to watch the rest of the video now, but I'm glad you took some time to take care of yourself. We'll always be here when you return 💕
Thanks sweet Emma!
It creeped me out when you talked about not being at their funeral. I was freaking out over that the other night. You are so strong! I do not do well with heartbreak sheesh
Girl I’m here with you. You’re not going through it alone and honestly this healing period will yield better things for you. It just sucks in the moment.
thanks angel!
I was going through the same thing after a breakup. It was really painful and I wanted to forget about him and move on, so my dad gave me some advice. He said imagine a protection bubble around you that blocks out any thoughts of him. And it worked and that was the only thing that helped me move on.
Your dad sounds amazing ☺️
I'm 18 minutes and 5 seconds in to your video. I had to pause it on TV so that I could sit down at my desktop and write this. First let me say, you are truly an AMAZING young woman. Let me start from the beginning... About 3 weeks ago, your video "I Wasn't Expecting This" showed up in my TH-cam timeline. I'm not sure how, I hadn't heard of you prior. Regardless, I clicked on the video to watch. The first few minutes I wasn't sure where you were going. But as I continued to watch, and listen to such real, RAW honesty, I watched the video in its entirety. Your humor, your pain; pouring out your soul... Over the next few weeks I watched other of your videos and got to see your whimsical side, your artistic side, time spent with friends. I enjoyed those very much as well. After watching "I Wasn't Expecting This," I wondered how you were doing. I'm a photographer, so this evening I was watching different photography videos and this one popped up in my feed. Again, listening to your honesty; wrestling with trying to be distracted, but the pain wasn't far behind. When I heard you say that you asked yourself what the opposite of betrayal was, and your answer was loyalty, I thought that was truly profound. When you asked if you had been loyal to yourself by allowing yourself to marinate in dark thoughts and nightmaring, that's when I paused to sit down and write these words that I hope become part of your journey. I'm 55, so I know a bit about what you're going through...
Every feeling you're having... Every thought, every emotion, every question... Every tear that falls, every time you dance... Every time you ask yourself if you could've done something different... Every time you feel sad about a future without him, every bit of it is part of the process. Part of your journey. If we didn't love so deeply, the pain wouldn't be so deep. Spending 8 years with someone is a lot of life to share together. When that ends, the only thing to do is strap yourself in for the rollercoaster ride of emotions. I've felt the deep pain of lost love. When you cry all day and all night. You cry in the shower. You curl up in a fetal position in bed for hours. We replay in our thoughts, every moment; looking for clues that we may have missed. Wondering "What if I did this differently? Maybe if I'd been better..." All of it is part of going through the pain of loss. Here's the truth. It's not profound or deep, and it doesn't lessen the pain in the short time, but it does eventually heal us. And that is TIME. In the days and weeks to come you will feel great joy. You will be inspired to create art. Your heart will hurt and you will cry tears of a thousand years. And then one day, as it always happens, you'll wake up and he won't be in the forefront of your mind. Then, with time, you'll lay down to go to sleep and think, "Wow, I haven't thought of him the entire day." And yes, you will get to a point that if you ran into him and her on the street you will be able say hello with a big smile and walk away thinking, "I cannot believe I was in so much pain over him!!" But it will take time. And yes, it is cliche', but time does heal wounds of the heart. One last thing. Love. Falling in love again. Right now, at this moment in your life it may sound like the very last thing you're interested in. But that's the funny and beautiful thing about love. We don't control it. Your heart is going to go where your heart is going to go, and you will know the man you're ready to go there with. So. I'm going back to watch the rest of your wonderful video. I just wanted to say that you are right where you need to be right now, feeling EXACTLY what you need to feel, nightmare and all. I'll end with this... Don't think he didn't watch your video and ask himself, "What did I do?!!! Am I INSANE for letting her go??" Because he has. Trust me... Take care!!
I loved this
yesssssssss!!!!
LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS!
I loved reading this so much, this is the reason I have so much hope in humanity, we have the capacity to care deeply about people we don't even know, and just knowing that everyone here in the comments is so touched by the raw emotions we are all sharing in, is the most beautiful thing I can think of. I'm so grateful for the internet in moments like these, in this instance the internet really does make us feel less alone in our pain.
@@PaintTheOwl Thank you so much! I couldn't agree with you more.
“If I can’t party this out maybe I can exorcise this out” like a demon! Lol.
It's been almost a year since my heartbreak (august 2) and I'm still thinking about him everyday. It's always really refreshing to hear your experience because it is so so relatable. I was going to have a party to commemorate the anniversary but I decided to spend the day by myself and probably treat myself and take myself out on a date. It's really a day for me to celebrate my own personal growth because as painful as the breakup was, I would not be in such a good place now if I didn't go through the heartbreak.
oh YEAH, and I am so so tired of people telling me that I should start dating again. My life does not revolve around dating and boys. Its honestly all a waste of time imo. Why can't I CHOOSE to be single? Why can't I be HAPPY being single?
How do you feel now?
I recently got out of a 3 year relationship and I am going through the same feelings. Some days I wake up and don’t think about my ex at all, and some days I feel like I’m drowning in my sorrow. This video was so helpful to me and reminded me that I’m never alone. Love you girly, we will get through this!
Right now I am also really not wanting to "play the dating game" and am dating myself. You seem like such a wonderful date, and therefore you'll be a wonderful date to yourself haha!
Love this !!
aw love that for me hahahah
Dear me, Im going through a divorce rn and trying to be positive and good to my body and spirit.
I literally can’t believe how relatable this is , yesterday I sobbed whilst mid yoga and just let my self cry.
I seriously would be so interested to chat to you about our situations- I’d love to hear what you have to say on a few things. Thank you for all of your wisdom and honesty. It’s everything
omg yesterday i was crying so hard in shavasana
i’m still in so much pain at the moment but it’s people like us and shayna that make me feel hopeful about the future still.
I am liiiiiving for these long podcast type videos !! love u Shayna and wishing u healing and positivity
love to you angel!
oh my god the opposite of betrayal is loyalty. i love that so much. dealing with mental health issues has meant i havent always been super loyal to myself but this just helped change my perspective so freaking much 💕💕💕💕
“Your journey in life is to complete yourself” this is such a beautiful and key point in life. Can be very difficult to figure out as we allow our minds to trap us. But that is what life truly is about. Your channel brings me so much and I just want to thank you.
It sounds like you're experiencing grief. When we lose a lose a partner we inadvertently lose a friendship. It's hard to let that go. Grieving the end of a relationship is SO hard. You are processing things in such a beautiful way, it's admirable. I love listening to your insights on life, they are so raw and beautiful.
Thank you for sharing 🥰❣
"Coping is not healing, healing is healing" ❤. I heard this lately on tik tok, and it's so true ❤ working out, and partying didn't helped me either, takes time to heal, but I eventually did it😉 be gentle and trust the process 😘❤
Found out my SO cheated on me this month. I just make myself believe that I was too good for him. Hoping for your continuous healing, Shayna.
sending love to you and healing!! youre not alone
I want to normalize "spiraling" for you. It is a part of the process. You are doing great. All of this is part of healing and growing.
When my relationship seemed to be over i went so deep into the dark place that I almost died. I have a health issue which got so strong due to my mental state that I got into the hospital. If you stop being loyal to yourself: you can even die. Thanks for these beautiful thoughts, maybe you do not know but you are a healer ❤
I find what works for me going through a heartbreak is just mentally prepare for myself be sad for at least a few months,,, and to have my friends or my support system to be around me at all times to let my soul know that there are people that love me, cherish me and they’re all here with me
girl I've been going through the same emotions as you (due to family issues) - I felt so hopeless & thought "well this is never gonna go away, this is my life now" but slowly slowly it got better - I fully understand the ups and downs, one day I was running 6k every morning, drinking smoothies and dancing around, the next day I would cry in bed all day, it's not easy girl I feel you! Time heals all
You are wise beyond your years......I love where your loyalty lies!!!!!! Loyalty to yourself, LOVE IT!!!!!
I’m also grieving rn because I lost my beloved 10 month old kitten 😞 I can still relate to the things you say though.. its actually quite helpful so thank you
omg Im so sorry for your kitten :((( she was so young! I am thinking of you today
THE DREAM IS FLOURISHING. WE ARE VAST OUT HERE PEOPLE.
The dream is flourishing ❤️
yes!!!
I've been thinking about you lately. I was so happy and clicked immediately when I saw you posted! And I'm so happy to see you're taking care of yourself. Also -- too funny with the "I got a new boyfriend" comment. I know you don't need it because I see how strong and wise you are but I wanted you to know I'm thinking about you and sending you lots of positive energy! 🌻💛✨
love you Josie!!
the dream is most definitely flourishing
Wise words Shayna. Our minds can wander to some unpleasant places sometimes and that's natural, we needn't fear negative thoughts and think that we'll manifest things we don't want just by thinking them, we can always choose whether or not to believe these thoughts. It's not the having them (because that's natural and a lot of the time unavoidable when we're in pain or Trauma) it's the believing them that gives them power. We can always remind ourselves that we are the observer of our thoughts, not the thoughts themselves.
Oh god.. that's what I am trying to do. No more needing, wanting, longing. Be your own comfort blanket! 💜
Between your last video and this one, I also experienced something similar. My ex suddenly announced his marriage. So, yeah! Life is not fun currently. But trying to get better...
It's ok, we all will get better! Don't worry! Let's go through the process of grief completely.
we'll get through it
🦋 i’m glad you’re here
love you!
In a society that is so hussle and bussle, we dont give ourselves time. Time to heal, time to grieve, time to enjoy. Time to just sit and feel. You are going to be alright mama, time will heal. Cry, scream, laugh, dance, sing, spiral -experience it all. One day you will be on the other side of this situation and smile because like a phoenix you rose from those ashes.
A phrase that brings me alot of comfort as I navigate heartbreak is that "whoever is meant to be in your life will always come back no matter how far they wander." 💗 this has helped me alot as I've loode those who've I had been holding on too tightly to and finally let go.
you gotta stay with the pain, living it through. there's no way around it, the more you try to distract yourself the more you postpone the moment you deal with it. Stay with it, at the end it will make you a stronger person. wish u all the best xx
Omg when you said when we come to earth we are already whole and complete in ourselves, there's no void to fill when someone leaves, I was like yaaasssssss preach! 🔥🔥🔥 sometimes the ego loves to play tricks on us!
Growth does not come from comfort and security. I’m a soon to be 53 year old girl that has just grappled with yet another devastating heartbreak. Leading to revelations of long repressed trauma. And I’ll survive it. Just as I have time and time again. Just as you are now. The dream is flourishing.
Yesterday I just finished settling account with two people who deeply hurted me a long time ago. at first it was liberating but things just went bad and I realized they haven't change. what happened affect me almost everyday and I tought it was the home straight and that after the talk i would continue my life more appeased and calm. I just called my loved one and bursted into tears he is way more down to earth than me and told me things that I know are true but are so fucking hard to ear for an optimist. I just don't know how to deal with people anymore but you know what ? I will not abandon myself ! thank you for being virtually here I send you all the love and support trough this phase of your life and more
i admire your vulnerability and your dedication to self-growth so much
Thank you so much!
I love how authentic you are. thanks for sharing that💕
love to you!
its hard to not distract yourself when your going through shitty life things but the thing is it always delays us actually sitting in our emotions, sometimes we need to cry, yell and be angry etc, just have a whole mood shift every day bc it's us coping with it our situations.
The dream is flourishing, I am loyal to myself, holding myself accountable 💓 thank you so much
"I'm gonna wine and dine you, bitch" is the self-love energy we ALL need right now! 💕
aaaaaa i was so dissapointed when you said "i have a new boyfriend" :DDD im glad you are mature and aware of yourself hun!!! keep doing the work, its hard and long but its sooooo worth it! love from Italy
Barbart I love your channel! Loving Venice and your artwork! 💕
@@b.m.3796 aaaw thanks love 💖
The dream is flourishing. I am loyal to myself. Every day in every way I am getting better and better.
the dream is flourshing for the whole purple palace gang. also heartbreaks but as kelly clarkson says what doesn't kill you makes you stronger
It’s so beautiful to see a fellow old soul going through such a heartbreaking situation so gracefully. I was in a toxic/abusive relationship circle for 5 years. 5 years!!! So i know the pain all to well. Give yourself time to heal. Feel the pain, soak it in, let it flow through you…but then when you’re ready, let go. Release. Thank you for your honesty. Much love and light, beautiful fairy.
It feels so miraculous that I have found you through the internet at this point in my life. I am going through a breakup as well. "Be loyal to yourself" "love yourself" I've heard phrases like these before, but I feel like I never truly understood them. Thank you for sharing your perspective so openly, it is helping me in my journey to learn to put myself first and stay true to my feelings and needs. Also this is off topic but your eyes are absolutely beautiful :) Much love from Japan. ♡
pain demains to be felt. to whoever who's been in this place before, it's not about losing a person, it's about grieving a whole life. a future, a life, a whole ass world we created. I'll never forget all the times i was so down feeling i will never see this person again or meet someone remotely close to them but life goes on. it's so cliche but it goes on and its so crazy that there is a life out there that we don't know and that there's friends and people we will meet and THEY will be our joy and pride later on. stay strong everyone xx
i am also here getting over heartbreak. my first anniversary would have been in two weeks, and he broke up with me for reasons that i cant understand. i watched your first video on this topic a few weeks ago, and now here i am, at that same phase too...screaming into pillows & crying all the time. its only been three days and i've been distracting myself too; it's just so hard to willingly walk with the pain.
thank you for opening up this convo, i'm the first person in my group of friends to got through this and nobody gets it or says the right things. your content is making me feel less alone
"I decided to choose myself"
Ugh, main character energy! The dream is FLOURISHING !!
ALSO divorce is literally a top stressor anyone could ever go through in their lives... that's a big deal... like girl you are doing amazing, you are putting so much effort into taking care of yourself, you are staying aware and re-strategizing constantly.
Now you know. 💫 YOU are in charge of your happiness. I remember that exact moment in my life.
That is growth. I big jump in your life. You will never be the same again. Ever.
Big soft hugs and lots of love 💕
Hey, welcome back. You don't have to be a role model for us. Just please continue being human and real and a light in the world that you always are. Even when faced with hard emotions. Feeling them, but but becoming them is a practice that needs cultivating and you did it 💪🙌🙌🙌
Glad to see you back. Thank you for being you 🥰💖 and willing to share with us. You are truly a wonderful human
I love you!
Life is filled with ups and downs. I feel I have felt all aspects of life. I find my best and most important growth was/is during the hard times, the painful times. Allow yourself to feel the pain, but then pick yourself up by the bootstraps and follow your dreams. My dreams are flourishing and so are yours.
As ernest Hemingway said.....the most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much....and forgetting you are special too. Love and light from boston
I absolutely needed this video today. Thank you girl
Glad it was helpful! sending loveeee
This video is exactly what I needed - sending you so much positive energy and love. ❤️
Sending it right back to you girl
It's eerie because I'm having the same realizations as you right now over heartbreak. The emptiness can be filled through self-love. My story though led me to realize that I was drawn to the idea of the person and the attention they provided. Not the actual person. It's hard to remain objective when you have all of these chemicals pumping through your body in reaction to some of these emotional events. When I realized my issue particular to attachment, it was like a breakthrough. I'm working on giving myself validation, myself love, and myself attention. I used to crave the attention of others, but you are totally and completely self sufficient. Thank you SO much for sharing.
I have had the same thoughts which is what makes your videos so cathartic, and genuine, to know I'm not the only one having these dark thoughts. Just discovered your channel and I watch your healing journey while going through a difficult breakup, its very comforting. Thank you for sharing.
Jeesh, I was so worried for a while there...
I'm so glad to see you doing and feeling better, your light is visible and is warming me on my similar journey.
Thank you angel stay strong, stay loyal to yourself 💜
love you!!! im back like a boomerang lol, it means a lot you thought of me
I'm sending you great and healthy energy bc you deserve it
thank you dear friend
✨The dream is flourishing✨ I'm watching your videos to help me deal with a case of the blues (depression) I'm going through.
You are someone to look up to, the strongest people are the people who are not afraid of pain!
Going through exactly the same🙁 been following your journey since the breakup and it’s helped me so much knowing I’m not the only one! ❤️
thank Tess, love you!
your vulnerability inspires me so much. sending you all the strength and healing you need
that means a lot Sonja, thank you
I so so resonated with all the different nuances of your journey. I experienced something similar years ago, and I can say with certainty that the feeling of 'how can I ever trust again?' does go away. And, that when you come out the other side of this pain, you realise that you can live without another person. So, you never fall apart again in the same way. You ARE getting stronger now, that's why it hurts. That time was easily one of the worst times of my whole life, but I wouldn't take it back for anything, and I am a better person for it. Ride the wave; where you wash up will be beautiful. I love you. I love you. No, I love you. ☺️💘
Re-watching this 2 years later after a 8 year relationship breakup on Christmas day 😂 I also feel myself spiralling and cant see a way through it 😞 thank you so much for this space to feel safe and seen 💚
Hi Shayna thank you so much for telling us how this has been for you. I admire you so much! Your energy and how you think is beautiful.
thank you Andrea
helping me with spiraling in general. thank yooou :,)
love you girl!
Thank you for sharing. I'm going through a heartbreak due to continuous betrayal for a while now and having a hard time letting go and shifting myself into a better mindset. Very easy to self blame and spiral but you're inspiring me to just get my shit together and not indulge in negative emotions. Much Love
You said it all.....be loyal to yourself not loyal to the thoughts. Thank you for that xxxx
I really needed this bless 🧡 my relationship of four years ended a week ago, I relate so much
oh im so sorry Olivia
@@thepurplepalace85 thankyou so much, we got this
i listened to olivia rodrigo's sour album on repeat during a recent breakup. i recommend "traitor" and "good for you" and "happier"
thank you for posting this. watching this felt like having a talk with a friend, a good remedy for my heart right now. I'm going through my first breakup, a relationship of nearly three years. I have been searching for some kind of openness in myself to the will of the universe that I felt that I lost during the relationship - I'm trying to grow and come back to myself. I am in a lot of pain, and I don't know what to do with myself because I am still so deeply, truly in love. I want to flow through those feelings, as you said, and let myself feel everything I want to feel so that I can continue to grow and heal. Ultimately, I want to learn who I am beyond an artist and a partner, the two factors that I have let define me for three years. thank you for being so open
I definitely understand you when you say your relationship with yourself is the most important to you right now. I’m going through heartbreak as well and can definitely relate with your realizations. A song that has really stuck with me is the song by Beyoncé me myself and I and how it’s about becoming your own best friend. Knowing that i can be someone’s best friend and be there supporting them, uplifting them, having the realization that i can be that best friend to myself has really changed the game for me. Thank you for these videos! Sending you love and healing🙏🏽😊❤️
That Saturn Return energy is in full effect for you.
hahah yesssss this
J'ai eu le coeur brisé à la même période que toi et tes vidéos m'ont aidé pour aller mieux . Je suis content de voir que toi aussi tu vas mieux ! ✌
merci
@@thepurplepalace85 The dream is flourishing
I really like that you come to the table in a good mood but you don’t hide the bad. You accept that it’s a part of the process and it really makes you a person people resonate with. 🖤
I’ve learned so much from you 💖 stay strong and true to yourself. You’re inspiring and flourishing 🪴
I hope that my dreams will be flourishing soon, because I could definitely be happier right now. 😕
you got this angel!!!
Sending all the love to you🥰🥰🥰
And to you!
The Dream is Flourishing. But Shayna, you ARE an angel! 😇 Never underestimate how important you are. I've always struggled to make my relationships work because I look for a man to validate me, but this is what I must do for myself. Thank you for being such an example for me!
ty shayna!! we love u, ty for sharing your story
Ahhh missed you ❤️❤️❤️
missed you tooo!!!!!
She's back 😍
ima come back like a boomerang
@@thepurplepalace85 omg that jojo siwa reference tho!!!! hahaha
I missed you and your videos so much 💕 healing is a turbulent journey, thank you for sharing it with us! I send you so much love ❤️
The dream is flourishing🌷 you’re chats are so genuine and relatable, thank you! Love from New Zealand🌹