Dealing with akathisia from benzodiazepines
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 17 ก.ย. 2022
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Akathisia is an intense inner feeling to keep moving and keeps the sufferer from being able to sit still. I had this for close to a year or more after coming off benzos.
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Resources:
www.benzo.org.uk/manual/
/ 1849311. .
www.benzoinfo.com/ashtonmanual/
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Akathisia is more than just restlessness. The inner part is way worse and makes benzo withdrawal look comfortable. An overwhelming sense of terror that’s nothing like anxiety. So overwhelming. That’s the worst part
I told my psychiatrist after 15 years of 2 mg bars three times a day. Standing in front of a semi on the interstate watching that truck coming the terror the panic, that's a small example of Xanax withdrawal.
10000000%
Yeah taking that much Xanax daily won't have any side effects
It makes me want to die everyday all day
Exactly, it is more than restlessness. The worst part is that even in the websites where its mentioned, it says movement disorder, and it is not. Why do the people who write about it always downplay it or miss the whole truth. I noticed that medical people will always twist the truth. Its like they have an agenda about how they can word things.
We will make it through. If you're reading this, it's your sign not to give up. Going through it right now. Can't give up.
It is truly hell
Be strong my dear cousins!
I feel this way when I sleep it's a terrible feeling ugh...my body jerks too when I try and sleep. Nobody believes me they say it's all in my head so thank you for these videos.
Not in your head. In their heads 😂
Thank you for helping raise awareness of Akathisia. I can tell you it is the worst thing a human can endure on this planet. It isn't only a feeling of restlessness. It's like you are on fire and the only way out is to jump off a cliff. The inner torment and terror is excruciating. Always happy to see someone else bringing info to the world about it. God bless
Sounds like what I experienced with it was very mild compared to what some others have said it was like for them. How long did that last for you?
@@philosophicalfishing It's been on and off for over 2 years now, varying in severity and brought on by different things. Many have had it for years longer than me too.
I truly pray to God our Father in Heaven to have great Mercy on us. So many people are addicted to Xanax. Withdrawals are excruciating. I truly pray for all of us and that the first time other people are talking about this other people are sharing their struggles with no shame. That is a great blessing.
😳wow. Did you get it as a result of benzos/antidepressants? I was on benzos for 13 years and antidepressants for about 16 years.
@@philosophicalfishing First time was from an anti nausea medication after surgery. No one knew what it was or how to help so then I was taken to a mental hospital and put on 30mg valium daily and I get it from the withdrawal coming off it. Also from a natropathic powder. All sorts...it's like some people are just susceptible to it when others aren't.
I am up again tonight. Moving constantly. I cannot take this anymore.
I can and am doing this and refuse to let the weak ones talk me out of it, NEVER GIVE UP!!!! you can do this
Going through it right now three months off. Can’t sit still and I can’t rest. Thank you for this video because it inspires me to press forward.
Keep going- I believe we all heal… eventually.
Even though I am still in the grips of the miserable life that is craving, compulsion, and dependency- your videos have given me more hope than any one person ever has. And for that, I thank you so very much. I've just come down from 10 mg of klonopin to 9 mg, so far struggle-free. Again, thank you and please keep the hope coming!
Awesome, keep going Zachary and please keep us updated as you can. We’re all cheering for you!
The grey beard! I can relate 😅 I’m only 32 and never had a grey hair on my beard in my life. Once I failed my pysch med taper bam! Little patches here and there.. unbelievable what stress these meds do to our bodies.. our bodies were never made to consume these poisons.
Agreed!
Thanks for making videos. It is a lonely journey, and watching videos is like having a support group.
I’ll keep em coming
You are so sweet to be so positive for people with this . That’s so kind of you . God bless you . Tell everyone to give their thoughts to Jesus is a must . It works
I stumbled across your video and when I heard you say it took you a year to feel somewhat "normal" again, I really could identify. I was addicted to Adavan, my OB/GYN gave me the drug when I was complaining of anxiety after my mother had passed away. I was taken the drug as prescribed but when I would experience "break-through withdrawal" I'd have to drink to get rid of that miserable feeling. It was horrendous. I started in 2010. I went to my first rehab in 2012. I got down from 8 mg daily to 2 mg daily; Hubby and I separated in 2013; Went to my 2nd rehab in 2014 to kick that last
2 mg. Each rehab was a 30-day stint. It was pure hell. Pure hell for a year. ADVICE for ppl kicking now: get a basketball and dribble it while you're walking and find music that matches the beat you're feeling in your chest. It helps. And, walk around the block, twice.
Once in the prison of benzo dependency it’s so hard to get off them. So happy that you found freedom even though it was hell to go through!
How fast was the taper? They usually don’t even taper at these rehabs.
Thanks for making these vids, what you're doing helps so much.
I’ll keep making them then.🙂
Thank you, Dan! It is a bit of a tongue twister of a word. Much appreciate the video. Much Love.
I used to wonder what this was over the years. I always thought I just couldn't relax, and I had something wrong with me type of feeling. Each day it seems like I am learning something new. It is the inner terror that is not visible from the outside that is one of my biggest problems. Nobody can see how much pain you are in so typically they inadvertently gaslight you because they just don't understand. Hitting golf balls or playing tennis is really good for me because of hand eye coordination and a form of distraction. I am getting there. The best I can do currently is just hit a golf ball around the yard. I have a tennis ball machine. I have plans to head to the park in the near future and just start pushing myself. Bring a basketball as well. Sports really help distract me, but I can't quite do them yet. I am getting close though.
Am I the only one who suffers with social anxiety?. Big time! I am so afraid every day. I have panic attacks and I am nervous. I quit cold turkey in July. And it's getting worse every day with anxiety. I can't work either. God help me. I'm praying every day. The worse thing isn't the pain in my body, it's my social anxiety. I need people but I can't handle to meet my friends right now. I don't know what to do. God bless you!
It’s definitely not just you. I had social anxiety terribly. Every time I left the house I was so nervous around anyone. It was very troubling. It has gotten so much better. I’ve always been more introverted anyhow but after I came off Klonopin the anxiety around people was through the roof! Hang in there it will get better.
Yes I have this too I feel I cant be around alot of people it gives me so much anxiety. I know what your going thru its terrible
Nope. You aren't the only one. haha. It sux. Every time I go to malls, shopping, eating, you name it. Anxiety kicks in. Once i leave, it relaxes. I hate these meds.
Congratulations 🙏🏻
I fear akathisia. I had one quick taper and one ct and had it. It went away when I had to start benzo again.
I am so exhausted of this tapering. I think ending it, my life , everyday but can't. I have horror waking ups and brain lock and depersonalization and derealisation and agoraphobia is so bad now that I can't anymore go to store.
I had l meeting with doctor and they are trying to get payment for me (my town normally don't give a chance to have that to that place) to treatment center where I have had few nurses that are professionals of drugs and alcohol who have been helping me in phone and I trust them. They have quick taper (normally at least 2 weeks) and then lots of groups and therapy that have to be part of.
I don't know how to survive that, I have 27 mg of diazepam and 20 mg of temazepam. I have asked to get there because I can't take this 10 months more with Ashton manual. I am afraid of suicidal thoughts and my doctor knows it.
I can't do anything but watch videos and comments. I fear if I go to quick taper I will have bad akathisia and psychosis.
I fear because either way I fear I won't survive to normal.
I don't know what to do. And my brain lock is killing me. I'm so isolated and lost. I would have a great life ahead if I heal.
Lots of hugs. Thank you for you videos.
I'm so sorry, I know its horrendous. We're here for you. I know it's probably little consolation right now but I know there's so many people here willing to help. I've been where you are and I can tell you that you can get through this. One day more is one day closer to healing.
@@philosophicalfishing Thank you so much. Is this brain lock/brain dead feeling for sure from benzo and tapering? Many professionals say that but I need again and again assurement because it is so awful not to understand anything normal and be disabled and isolated at home because of that.
I'm fighting for my life every minute. I fear permanent brain damage all the time.
Please is this normal and horrot waking ups too to brain dead feeling and realising again another day without brain and still stuck with this drug.
Thank you for saying you have been through this and I can too. I know it is the right thing to do this slow at home but at least ten months of worsening suffering ahead. I can't fight if I have to be scared this is not normal to be brain disabled from benzo. Few people have said it is normal and will go away.
I'm sorry to ask the same thing.
It is just killing me the whole day. Mri was fine.
Have never felt like this even when I have been depressed.
Now I can't be with anybody because I'm in my own hell and can't see normal people.
I have normally quick learning brain and very active and social person.
Now I'm like in coma and at the same time in constant fight or flight state.
I fear lowering doses because I have seen them and this drug's power. I just want to get rid of it and be safe and have my insanity and independent life.
Thank you if you can say something to what you have heard and been through yourself about the brain.
I'm so scared to suffer all day everyday without functioning brain.
Lots of hugs. Thank you for being there for me and many more. I would like to survive and thank you and everybody that have helped.
Great video!
I slowly started saving them for bedtime, after that I slowly decreased the dose until there's barely any withdrawal other than not being able to sleep yet.
It is possible and everything will heal....you havr take a hollistic approach to tapering. Even before you consider a taper, you want to be in the best possible shape, cut sugar, quit smoking, don't drink, excercise, meditation, develop a sleep haven not just a bed, reduce screen time, learn a new hoppy. If you do these things your taper will be even smoother. Just be the best you can....
Hi there bud I had akasthesia severe for 3 months....im nearly 7 months off and still have it but not just as bad but kinda worse because I'm getting it with low energy now and muscles twitching and spasms and the depression.. I can watch half of a film now 😆 it's funny I can't watch much TV but I can watch and scroll through my phone all day and night... nuts . My beard and head hair is basically all grey now plus I've lossed hair and a weird rash ...skin is horrible.
Hell on earth
I took 2mg of Klonopin 1x/day at night for sleep for 3 years. I tapered to 1mg over a year and then quick tapered the last 0.75mg/day in 45 days . Now I pace 24-40hrs at a clip, w/o being able to sit or lay down, 37 mths after I stopped it. My tinnitus was so horrible that I didn’t even notice tardive akathisia and tardive dystonia erupting 3-4 months off.
I had to do a secret shopped hustle and drive every other day throughout the entire thing. I had outward tremor at the beginning. I couldn’t figure out if driving was hurting me or helping me because I’d get home and go inside and try and sit down and my shit would go nuts. It’s amazing how you can drive, but sitting in a recliner at home is painful. I think it’s because it’s such a dangerous activity it helps override the fight or flight. You also get to move your feet and arms while driving 70mph.
My experience is that there are different levels of akathisia. Akathisia also comes back, and the more times it does, the harder it gets to make it go away. Another thing I noticed is almost everyone that has akathisia already has anhedonia. They often have a little TD/tongue/jaw stuff and a little dystonia as well. I notice people can have varying amounts of each.
I basically describe myself as having a solid 7-9 of inner aka and an 8-9 of outer, pacing aka. My problem is the dystonia layered on top of that chronic aka. Together its hell on earth, incompatible with life. I’ve even supported a friend who suffered 5 1/2 years in chronic akathisia with assisted death. Anyone reading, benzodiazepine injury and benzodiazepine tapering injuries are very real and they are crippling people.
Why would you do that to yourself?
@@AkathisiaWarriorer no one does it to themselves. Compassionate people in protracted pain who have been invalidated by the medical community who foisted these neurotoxins on us. My medically assisted suicide was denied a couple years ago. At least this human cared :)
100% unbearable, am currently on the .75/day Klonopin taper from 2 mg (for a couple of decades on 4mg, prescribed since 1987) among a dozen other mostly antipsychotics (never necessary) you're not alone, I can hardly function anymore, zero quality of life.
Well, yesterday I cut 25% down from my .50mg of Clonanzapam. I'm down from 3mg 6 years ago. Lets see how this plays out. I expect a day or two lag in side effects, but we'll see. I've been on .50 for a few months, so hopefully the come down won't be too hard. I guess we'll see.
Thank you dan
Dude I feel you I would sleep like 8 hours and I’d literally wake up exhausted and my legs and arms felt so so heavy because I was sooo depressed I’ll go days withought showering and I’m a clean freak but it’s so hard to do simple things. I’m gonna try to find a job washing dishes tommorow wish me luck bro
You can do it maybe just go slow and don’t be too hard on yourself if things don’t work out as planned but if your focusing on other things it may help. Try some non fortified nutrional yeast for b vitamins and the exhaustion. I understand what your going through
@@TheTurtleTribalNation I’ve been taking non THC CBD and CBN cough syrup, it has a small amount of melatonin in it it helps with the nerve pain. I feel like after the acute withdrawals which I had for 25 days of throwing up, hallucinating, not being able to eat, that I’m in the PAWS and I feel like I’m in pergatory the world is so dark and grainy I got a job interview washing dishes tommorow at 2pm, I normally do construction and make good money got to suck it up and do this entry level job because I need to re train my brain to work again and I can’t do a high stress job. It sucks… but even Eminem after coming off Valium ambien and Vicodin and methadone said he had to re train his brain to be able to rap again and do normal things again hopefully by next spring I’ll have a better paying job and maybe get back into construction i started using benzos for insomnia and I would literally pull all nighters Sunday night and have to work Monday doing hard labor at 6am with no sleep and it went on and on to were I couldn’t take it anymore and the docotor didn’t want to prescribe me ambien or serequal for sleep and defiantly god forbid they’d prescribe me benzos so no I can’t do what I love to do making good money I gotta go back down to square one probably working with high schoolers but whatever it can’t last forever some days I break and can’t take it it’s hard after your life is destroyed even after getting sober and you gotta pick up the pieces while feeling the lowest you ever have. Fuck benzos idk what I’m gonna do but I hope I make it homie.
@@nbamarc2525 you are gonna make it and don’t worry about this whole getting paid more money stuff cuz the economy is getting ready to crash for the stupid great reset that’s coming. If you can just keep all thoughts captive with Jesus and repent . It’s black magic witchcraft sorcery in all this med stuff . Your soul is way more important than your body and God gave us a sound mind . For God have not given us the spirit of fear , but of power , and of love and of sound mind . 2 Timothy 1:7. Maybe this is a humbling experience for you so your soul can be saved . It don’t matter what job you have , how much money or stuff you have , or what you wear in this life or the nice things you could have ,… it’s all material and besides all the treasures of the earth are tainted and we are suppose to hold our treasures in heaven where they won’t get stolen or collect dust … things are gonna change in this life and I’m not trying to say this to scare you . Just keep working and try to stock up on food and water before the shortages come . They are right around the corner . Focus on getting that rebuilding yourself . … one step at a time and you can do it . I have faith in god to heal you and I have some faith In your determination to do so . I commend you for what you are doing . That’s so freaking awesome ! If you ever feel like you need to talk to someone email me . I can always give you my direct number there . universallove8@icloud.com
Just some things I learned along the way . Probably more I should have said but for now . This won’t , what you are going through , will not last forever . Consider some adrenal support if you can to keep going through the tough days . I don’t know if you can tolerate that but there’s all kinds of things out there to help .
It would be worse if I didn’t say any of this . I mean to say above . Love you friend and YOU WILL MAKE IT! You will persevere !
Once in withdrawal milk actually relaxed me
This was the worst symptom for me besides the heart palpitations. When I had my panic attack I made it 100x worse. That is why tapering is so important. I didn’t taper right but im slowly getting there now. Best of luck to everyone.
Yes, I think tapering must be much easier on the body than going cold turkey. My rapid 9- day taper in treatment almost killed me and was excruciatingly hard on my body.
Another good thing about your video is that anyone that may be thinking of being put on this as a prescription may think twice about it and possibly find another alternative that is not as serious as a benzodiazepine
I hope that it helps people.
driving? some of us cant+shouldnt unless you have to. w akathesia even being a passenger can be difficult esp w neck+back issues. add hyperacusis , tinnitus +ifloaters to the picture and ? best thing is walking.drink a bunch of water! .true that sugars and carbs can really trigger things! coffee? lol yes caffiene can also trigger a wave so can merry jane. certain histamines also .tomatoes strawberries+for some reason pineapple . complicated! i dont plan on ever returning to benzos or psyche meds. over two years off and hopefull things repair themselves. i wouldnt wish this PAWS CHITT ON ANYBODY. KEEP MAKING THE VIDEOS! im thinking of making a few myself+it would help if others would[if they can] to share stories.
You will get better . All of you will . I had the most difficult time with the benzo stuff and had to do it when I was going through the change into menopause with a neighbor that would torture me on top of it with loud music and cussing everyday . You will get to eat those things again one day .
Ya… full blown Akathisia you would not be able to drive. Internal Akathisia is less intense…but, traffic jams are problematic!! I had to drive once and got stuck in traffic. It was really terrible. Confined spaces really make you feel panicked that you can’t get up and move when you have to. Mine flares up and calms down, but it has been around for a good while. Five months of taper so far. The onset was with the taper. I have found that Benadryl can calm it when it gets over the top…make it feel less intense.
@@jaclynpeters3892 I understand. I am a lot better now and not like that anymore . Try looking into that lions mane mushroom to start repairing the damage . It works
Also how old are you if don’t mind me asking ? Because my hormones going through the change into menopause really messed stuff up .
@@TheTurtleTribalNation I am 54. I am in menopause. I was wondering about that myself. My interdose withdrawal symptoms were diagnosed as menopause symptoms at one point. I was placed on HRT. That made no difference because it was withdrawal. I lived a long time with tolerance symptoms before I realized it was the benzo. Your hormones made it worse?
Thank you for the video I am currently in a random panic attack I was feeling good yesterday but randomly this evening I just started freaking out feeling guilt and shame and sadness. Maybe it’s because I drank alcohol last night. No more drinking for me.
That's 100% necessary. Drinking and taking even small amounts of benzos destroys the nervous system like nothing else.
I'll be 56 in December I'm still on the bars 2 mg three times a day I told you my story earlier post of how I tried to come off and ended up trying to sever my left wrist 5 years ago. I'm pouring sweat right now from not taking one since I woke up. And then I'm like oh my God why am I suffering for they're in my purse get one. My children are grown and they want me to have a brain scan to see if I have early dementia. They say Mom you forget stuff all the time. I live in Jacksonville Florida, I've had to MapQuest from downtown to the beach several times. I wish I could hold the makers of Xanax responsible for how my life spiraled out of condition because of that 2 mg bar. Oh God help me.
I’m so sorry to hear where you’re at in life today. This drug is so destructive. I too am from FL and just moved up to NC from the Tampa area in June. If I could offer you some hope- I’ve been there and I thought I was doomed to die taking this drug. It wasn’t until I came off of not that I realized how far down it had taken me. There is hope for you, Kelly. You’re much much stronger than you know.
THANK YOU
I just went down on my dose of Xanax extended release. Been taking for over 10 years. I don’t know what to expect, but not feeling well. I’m anxious about being anxious! 😛
Hi smooth jazz! One day at a time. Many people have it easier and don’t experience what I went through tapering in only 9 days. Slow and steady.
@@philosophicalfishing
Hi, I had too ask my doctor twice! He told me to cut it in half. That doesn’t work. I’m talking this at my own speed, but your going fast! I wish you the best luck on your withdrawal. I also take Cymbalta, that is for pain and depression, been on that forever! I plan on cutting that down later. It’s scary. Thank you. 😊😱💕
Yes! Go at your own pace. Cutting by half is a lot.
I just started today tapering from 2 mg of benzos today. I'm not going cold turkey cuz I have a prescription for them. I will go slow and one thing I will do my best. Is to meditate, and keep my home quiet. I understand coming off benzos is the excitability part that goes crazy in your brain.
Glad you’re not going cold turkey and you’re looking after your nervous system
For me it feels like an intense vibration. Like a motor inside my body that never shuts off. It's mostly in my legs and torso, but sometimes it gets in my head and my whole brain starts shaking, squirming and vibrating. I can't sit still or it overwhelms me and anxiety and terror set in. I have to move constantly. If I'm laying down I have to kick my legs and writhe and squirm. If standing I have to walk or rock from foot to foot. I've been off klonopin for 9 months and this feeling has been around for the last 6 months or so. Compared to others though, my case is mild. If I concentrate and force myself I can sit still and clonidine seems to help a little bit. The worst part is waking up in the middle of the night vibrating so hard I have to get up and walk around. Quality sleep is so important and hard to get. I'll get better. 9 months isn't that long. It's gonna take years to heal. These videos help a lot. Just knowing that recovery is possible. Stay strong everyone!
I feel that my Akathisia was very similar to yours. You articulated it very well.
For me it’s a deep vibration coming from my brain and spreading down. Like I am a tuning fork. Inner electrocution. On top of that attacks when it feels like I have a flash of fire down my body and everything is just burning, stinging and I am in agony.
@@philosophicalfishing does what I describe ever calm down? It’s so bad! Severe vibration from the brain down and a lot of tension in the body. It’s the worst it’s been. 😢
'Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.'
Yes!🙌🏻
Thanks Dan for the story. Have you had facial muscle spasms?
I had a lot of muscle issues but I don’t remember having facial muscle spasms.
@@philosophicalfishing What muscle problems did you have?
I couldn’t put on any muscle for about a year or more and my muscles were so small and thin. No matter how much I worked out I just couldn’t get them to grow. Also my nervous system made my muscles tight at random times where my back/neck would hurt really bad.
How much of the Benzos did you take a day and for how long. It sounds gastly!
I took benzos for 13 years, and at the peak I was taking 5 mg klonopin per day.
There seems to be a connection between benzo use and MCAS. I developed this histamine disorder after being on K for a few years. I've noticed that many other people withdrawing from benzos also have MCAS. Could you look into this connection and let us know what you think? Thanks.
What is MCAS?
@@smoothjazz1954 Mast cell activation syndrome.
What do you mean MCA’s???
Mast Cell Activation Syndrome. This is a really good point Lisa!
Did you come off all your drugs at the same time? And are you alright without your meds for bipolar?
Hi! Yes, I did everything at once(5 meds). I’m very stable without the use of prescription meds today.
Did you suffer hairloss brother. And did it improve with time?
Yes, my hair thinned out a lot, it was course and brittle and receded back along my forehead. It has gotten back to normal and even seems to have grown back in places.
@@philosophicalfishing same it's got thinned out and brittle. I had really thick hair now there is a patch gives more anxiety. Such a big battlefield
100%
Lack of gaba receptors makes you wantvto move truly horrible they should ban this poisonx it hasnt help anyome im fact evem short term users get damahed
Are you med free now? You were diagnosed with bipolar also? Did your bipolar go away?
Yes and yes. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder but it has left me, so has my diagnosed mitral valve prolapse I was diagnosed with in the 90’s. I have not taken any medication since tapering the gabapentin that I came off of around 2019. I take only fish oil, vitamin D, and Sam-E regularly.
@@philosophicalfishing what brand Sam-E do you use and mg pls? Tysm
@@Filthycoffin I like Nature Made quite a bit, although they’ve gotten more pricey. Even the cheap-y spring valley ones from Walmart seem to work really well. I take 400mg per day. If they smell like sulfer that’s normal and actually a good sign.
Thanks for sharing this. I think akathisia entails movement of the body so I'm not sure that sitting in a car would qualify as akathisia.
Is that the correct spelling ? Is it akathisia?
I think you may be right. Apparently I can’t say it or spell it correctly. Haha😂
@@philosophicalfishing You were pronouncing it correctly, it was just hard to reconcile the pronunciation with the spelling in the title (although some of your commenters spelled it correctly). Thank you for the video.
I have propaply asked this but ask again.
I have this brain lock, not understanding normal things and can't understand that people can do normal things and live their normal lives and became overwhelmed of any normal things. Did you at any point feel your brain doesn't function normally and can't understand normal things? I fear everything, can't be with anybody, am isolated a lot because I tell my hell all the time to my loved ones and feel like I am in a different reality from other people. Normally I'm active social and confident person.
I was on zero in spring one month in hospital, they ct me and had akathisia etc and brain lock and rude doctor said I couldn't have any withdrawl symptoms and got home very sick and one doctor prescriped me klonopin to get me relief for a while and then taper but it didn't help and I was shocked when I realised that same amount of diazepam is huge. I said to my doctor that I think I suffer withdrawl even don't taper and want to taper with Ashton manual and she was willing to read it and we started and I was total amount of klonopin and diazepam 60 mg 😥 Year ago my brain lock went away for few weeks when I was in bad withdrawl symptons of oxazepam and doctor did crossover from oxazepam to diazepam 10 mg and I got my sleep and normal mornings back (now i wake up in hell and feel like I die in that second and can't take one day anymore like this) and could see people and go to store and cook and exercise and have a good feeling. But taper was too quick and went badly wrong.
And now i'm here with huge amount of diazepam, I dropped this week to 35 mg. I feel constant fight or flight state and panic and can't even go for walks and run wich I love and earlier forced myself but I'm there just so anxious. I can't go outside of my home, just when I have to go to get food with the help of my mom.
I have 7 months tapering ahead and am so exhausted and in horror, feel depersonalization and derealisation and disconnected from people and enviroment and my loved ones.
I fight for my life. Thank you for your video and thank you if you can answer if you had anything that I have. Like I said I propably asked earlier. I was so close year ago when I had my brain back and wish taper would have been slower. I can't do barely anything and suffer every minute.
All the best.
My heart goes out to you. ❤️ your story is important and needs to be told so people and doctors will begin to understand what’s really happening with these meds. I do remember having brain block and it was bad for the first year or two off benzos. My brain would just completely shut down and stop working. I became almost catatonic because I literally could not process information well and all I could do was just sit there.
@@philosophicalfishing Thank you for your support.
It is so important me to hear that I'm not the only one who has this brain that doesn't function and understand anything. Did it ever make you have to isolate? I fear it is permanent damage. It was a good sign year ago when I got in few days my brain functioning as I got rid of oxazepam and withdrawl symptoms. Then I got much less sleeping medication and everything was right because of little amount of diazepam took all my witdrawl symptoms away. So my doctor says I was in tolerance this whole summer with klonopin and thinks when I'm enough long time off of benzo my anxiety will get easier and brain lock will go away when all my witdrawl symptoms are gone. Thank you for saying your brain shut down, I feel exactly the same way. All normal information is too much to handle. And I'm so disabled and terrified every minute. I have been tapering since 2021 and still in this hell. I can't understand this kind of hell and torture can be true and I don't have any other choice than go slow this time and no rehab (where I was a week and almost died and then had diazepam that saved me once) and can't go to hospital, they treated me like trash and didn't understand anything about benzo.
I don't get windows, just pure suffer. And I'm afraid I will be mentally crazy forever. And this is person who earlier worked over ten years in a busy enviroment in a gym with hundreds of customers a day.
And now i fear take the trash out.
I would have a great life ahead, I'm 37 and se were supposed to get engaged this year with my partner. I have lovely mom and friends and would like to have a new dog (this started when my dog had to put to sleep at the age of 16, he had a great life and best medical care when needed, he was the love of my life, and I became to have awful panic attacks lile 20 in a day and was prescriped a big amount of oxazepam and no warnings. I had 2019 bad trauma that I survived quite quickly but it affected me when my dog died.
I fear I can't survive to zero. And then wait if my brain will start to work. I have suffered more than human can and want to just enjoy going to get food and go to stores normally and cook healthy food that supports exercising that I love. Now I go just to get food and feel I'm in hell from other people. Can this go away? Will I survive even I am so exhausted and terrified? I have never been so depressed in my life, just because my chemical balance is not right and I can't do anything. I had year ago when I had brain lock off just 25 mg of quetapine (wich I normally sleep) and added 7,5 mg of imovane and I got to sleep and have normal mornings. But after few weeks of too fast taper I started to have insomnia again and after half year barely sleeping my new doctor prescriped me 200 mg of quetapine and 20 mg of temazepam and I know they are tol much but she said I have to sleep. I fear I won't have diazepam and temazepam away and have my normal medication (25 mg of quetapine) back. I was totally fine with that in spring 2021 before my dog died in june 2021. I had stopped lexapro half year earlier and had no depression, we were supposed to try a baby after my dog's time has been going to heaven and I was supposed to grief in peace and then try. But now i'm fighting for my independent life and scaring I will be crazy forever. Thank you for taking time to read and give me hope. I'm in constant panic and can't do anything to that. For weeks and weeks I tried to walk and run being in awful headache and neck pain and dizziness and all I could feel was my brain shutting down. This is a good example what my brain does constantly. If I'm walking or running and I see dog owners I think how have they got the jacket to the dog, how can they have dog. And it is crazy because I have raised two big dogs from puppy. And when I'm at the store I think those have normal brain, those have had normal morning coffee and how can they buy meat and cook. And I never, never had anything like this before. I loved to think what to cook and look at the same time decoration stuff at the store. Now I have to eat prosessed food (I know it is bad in witdrawl and I hate it but I can't cook, I still eat some healthy things like avocados, chia, nuts, vegetables) and I don't know how can this ja true. 1,5 year earlier I ran almost everyday, and did home workout (don't want to go to gym because of covi) and now every minute is torture. Is this worth fighting for or am I doing this third time for nothing. Thank you so much. Not looking forward for the morning, feels like satan kills me right away, at least I have heard few people saying that they have horror mornings too. I would cry if I could wake up one morning and be safe and this was just a really bad memory. I was so grateful for so many things to god after that earlier trauma and I just want to survive (I fear I have to die) and realise I am back and go make my dreams true. I have never compared myself to people who have more money than me, I have been happy just the way I am and have everyday felt so deep and pure love to my dog and have had flow feeling in the gym or running. And I have a very beautiful home and partner WHO waits me. I just want these drugs off of me, but can I ne sure if I can fight to zero that even it takes time my brain will heal and brain lock fades away. My mri was fine. Thank you for giving me answers that you have felt the same and survived. You are kind.
I hear what you’re saying. You are still in the process of coming off the meds and have been damaged by them. You’ll need to be patient, give yourself compassion, and give yourself time. I believe we can all heal greatly from the damage- I’ve experienced it first hand and I was very badly damaged. Please be gentle with yourself and know that you’re not alone. I wish I had the power to heal with a magic want because I know how badly we suffer and I intensely dislike seeing it. Time will be your greatest healer and self compassion your best friend. We have started a community here of loving people who are willing to share their strength with you.❤️
@@philosophicalfishing Thank you for believing me I can heal and make it to zero and survive after then. Did the brain lock make you feel panic? And not able to concentrate to anything? Sorry so many questions, you seemed to know what I feel in my head and I am in a loop of brain lock hell and when I have earlier had depression I have been able to be with people, just not being able to be happy but this is torture because I'm alone.
Yes, when my brain would freeze I would almost be unable to even speak because my mind wouldn’t even allow me to formulate words and ideas. I would just get silent and stare.