From One Fight to Another: A Veteran's Benzodiazepine Story
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 11 ธ.ค. 2022
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LCDR Keller gave this talk on Veterans Day, 2022, as the keynote at the Veterans Prostate Cancer Awareness Foundation gala, at the National Press Club in Washington, DC.
LCDR Keller is an engineer, entrepreneur, former F-14 Tomcat Radar Intercept Officer (RIO), and seasoned combat veteran who retired from the United States Navy, having survived a first round of prostate cancer and with PTSD. He had a difficult experience with the VA and, like so many others, was medicated into oblivion (Ativan)...and then the prostate cancer came back. It turns out that the tolerance/dependence induced by years on Ativan set him up for the biggest fight of his life. Having survived all of this, he is now simply grateful to be alive.
If you like what we do and want more of it, for the mere cost of a cup of coffee, you can support us!
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Too many doctors all over the U.S. don't know, or believe, that such suffering is caused by benzodiazepines. We need a super bowl ad.
They need to go through it themselves, or watch a loved one suffer with it to even grasp it . Sounds horrible, but I’d like to give a few of my doctors KLONOPIN for ten years and cut them off. And just watch the terror unfold…. And then call them crazy and too symptomatic. 😡
I totally love the Super Bowl ad idea!
They know but they profit off of it so they don’t care. Very sad and scary
They do now, they just don’t care
I don't trust most docs. They are not internet nerds like I am.
Thank you so much for this testimony sir. I feel your pain. I was give KLONOPIN 1.5 mg for TEN YEARS.. had NO IDEA I was going through chronic tolerance withdrawal. I explained it the same way. CRAWLING OUT OF MY SKIN. I saw 18 different doctors, and ended up on six different psych drugs at once because of the “ symptoms “ they were treating! 😡. I was misled for years! Ruined my career, and ANY KIND OF LIFE I had! Five fucking years I walked around completely lost. In and out of psych wards that were a living hell ,and just getting dumped with more meds. I quit KLONOPIN cold turkey, and it’s been TWO YEARS and I’m STILL MESSED UP! No work, no social life because I’m afraid to leave the house, nerve pain everywhere…it’s a complete NIGHTMARE!! It’s actually CRIMINAL what happens to a human being because they are misinformed by “ doctors “ who DONT GIVE A SHIT! I could go on for weeks. God bless anyone who has or is dealing with this! YOU ARE A FUCKING WARRIOR!!!!! So grateful I came across Medicating Normal. The only thing in years that actually made me feel “ normal “ ! 😡😭
Wow two years you are clean and still you fill not good?! Wow I take Xanax from 11 years they don't talk me about all this shit, I make cold turkey for two weeks I was completely lost, now I'm taking 1mg for one day and I feel good, but I steel one mg , I can't stop to work for two years or more
It’s so incredibly difficult. I felt like I was going to die. I’m sorry you’re going through this. I don’t know that I’ll ever be the same..the trauma I went through trying to get off this med changed my life. I guess it’s easier for some, but they usually are taking something else. I am afraid to take anything. I got off six meds total that I was taking. Took 4 years. Total hell. I wish you well my friend. My faith is the only reason I’m still here, and I still struggle with debilitating anxiety every day. Prayers for you 🙏✝️🙏
It eventually gets better the brain does heal it takes time it’s been 5 yrs for me after cold turkeyed
You are a warrior yourself! I'm praying you heal quickly. So sorry you're suffering so much ♡
@@emmaneilson9965 thank you. God bless 🙏
I tried for 7 torturous months ct then kindled with general anesthetic for a septorhinoplasty. I reinstated and found tolerance at 20mg diazepam. Then tapered a further 7 months. Had to gain knowledge from internet and buy people's prescription diazepam as no Dr wanted to know. The insomnia was life threatening brain misfiring at night every 90 minutes which is the sleep cycle lost 3.5 stone slow death was imminent. If I didn't find the vital information about reinstating and knowing people on prescription it would've been game over. I turned completely yellow an anemic as well. It's crazy how I'm here writing this.
I was prescribed clonazepam (Klonopin) for 20 YEARS. Every doctor kept prescribing it without a care. Ironically I never abused it, but I was addicted to it anyway, physically and psychologically. I was on a low dose and one day I decided (without knowledge of the withdrawals) to stop cold turkey. I actually fell on my bed and started shaking. I started losing myself (like psychosis) and suddenly I had this strong sense that I could not stop it like that or something very bad would happen. So I took it again. None of my doctors had ever told me what might happen if I stopped it like that, or any of the side effects or withdrawals. One psychiatrist just shrugged and said that I would have to stay on it all my life, that I COULDN'T go off. My last psych nurse said I would have to wean off because "they" were cracking down on benzo prescribing. I can't tell you how mad I was at the industry. It took a year to wean off a 1-mg dose. Now I practice meditation. I can't believe the ignorance and irresponsibility psychiatrists have to throwing pills like nothing at patients. I'm not even a veteran. I can't imagine what these poor people have to go through.
If you never abused it, the correct term is that you were 'physically dependent' on it. Here are FDA definitions of terms (see pages 6-11): www.fda.gov/media/128443/download
What was your dosage
@@Tesseract9630 I think it was 0.5mg twice a day
I had the same experience it’s been a month cold turkey.
MY DOSE ALSO 1 MG A DAY HOW DO U TAKE YOURS
I've been down this same road, although my zanex was at 4,5 a night for sleep. This is at the time google halfway saved what I call my life. I want to tell my story but just don't have the ability to type it all. God bless everyone and best of luck with all!
I've been tapering for years, know what you mean.
I just started the process and I don't know if I will make it through. Dr's don't take me seriously, neither does my family. I feel so hopeless.
@@doeboy1103 I feel you with the hopeless thing. You really need to find a Dr. that does. Ask around, ask the different groups. You might find some help with the CO. benzo people. I can't think of their exact name
@@doeboy1103 i feel your pain because im in the same boat as you im going through the same thing im now off benzos for about 2 weeks its hell. doctors are a living joke on how quickly they taper you off this drug they are beyond assholes the way they act. they should be forced to consume a benzo for years than yanked off it see how they like it right? but im so exhausted and fatigued and the mental symptoms are brutal i dont even have the energy to go to the ER to try and get another script to wean off properly. they usually turn me down at the ER and at doctors offices and never want to taper someone off proper. i have given up on going to the ER and doctors just out of frusteration because i dont want to sit at the ER for 6 hours just to have a doctor say once again no sorry i cant do this find a doctor who will
@@doeboy1103 Check out psychedelics like Ketamine in your area I've read that some have gone this route, you need to plug in something else to help with the withdrawals etc I went through this same shit there's a article in The Crazy Wisdom Community Journal about psychedelics for trauma recovery, I didn't know anything about this when I went through it, also you will make it, I kid you not it's hell at the time in 2004 there wasn't a lot out there You Tube was my go to when I was on my way to ending it.💜
10 years clonazepam, 3 years tapering. Been off 3.5 months. Still awful. Cant work, lots of bedrest. Absolute years lost to this med. I thought I had MS too, I chased mystery illnesses for 5 years before I realized it was the benzo. Not a peep from psychiatrist while I searched and searched for what was wrong.
I hear you…I did it all by myself, never told of the horrors of this drug. Just excruciating.. I searched as well for years. Prayers for you 🙏🙏🙏
How are you now?
God bless and help you. There is a growing number thankfully of people who either suffered on benzos themselves or been with someone who has... Ignorance is added to the sufferings for instance when my veteran friend was going through this hell of Benzo Tolerance Withdrawal as well as effects from other meds; some people only saw that he was a difficult personality and told me to throw him out. God Forbid! and a big Thank You to Dr. Peter Breggin because by chance I had ordered his book on Soldiers and Meds and had some idea that what was going on was caused by my pals meds. To my shame I was not fully sympathetic owing to not completely understanding yet enough to have helped him during his crisis. He thanked me afterward and it has been some compensation when after years of him struggling with the lasting damage of all he has gone through, he is no longer with us. Not enough is understood about how powerful these meds are; not only Benzos; a lovely girl in town had a horrible reaction to a psych med of a different sort. A patient should be in hospital under observation when a new med is added or a dosage changed. But as for Benzos I think much much more research needs to be done; perhaps halted altogether until everything has been through intense examination; as it stands now the public must become aware of risks; thank you everyone on this forum. Having lost a friend my only consolation as it is with so many others, is to alert people to just how powerful some meds are and how much care must be taken. The docs say call if there is a problem but our calls for help were not taken seriously until much damage had occurred; even then the experts in his case did not understand the problem; only one doc, my own, did understand and take is seriously; but not his docs or social worker. How could they not know?!
This man is ROCK 🪨 how strong in the end he is!!!
Thanks for sharing!
Detox facilities, physicians, both medical and psychiatric should be mandated to take a course in the long term devastating effects these drugs can present, and how to help the patients’ navigate safely through the long fight to reclaim some normalcy.
This is not new information, and yet most people truly are not aware of what these drugs are doing to our society in general.
I actually agree 100%, It is the most horrific addiction that I experienced along side opiate addiction, I was on a huge 300 to 400 mg daily addiction of morphine , which ultimately was a IV dose, not prn or nochte, it was when ever I was coming down, which at the end was every 30 to 50 minutes, the benzo's where up to 5 a day just to help eleviate the anxiety, this was my routine for 10 years, always legally obtained scripts, when I made the decision to stop, the morphine addiction was bad , how ever it was short lived via detox, which I did myself, the how ever was I was sick for around 2, 2.5 weeks, then it was all over, the benzo addiction took me around 2 months where I was able to achieve a rem sleep, after 6 months hyper tension started, pending doom mind set and then it really kicked off vengefully, around 10 months after I stopped, the time the brain start to produce sleep in a normal mental state, my brain would not shut off, hyper tension the restless sleep and the thoughts of impending doom would start, that went of for around 6 months,, this nearly drove me insane, i think in reflection, opioide/opiate withdrawal was a cake walk by comparison to benzo withdrawal, benzo diazepam, valium or what ever of that group is used is so aggressive to detox from, it has such a long half life, it is almost like a death sentence till the chemicals in the brain re adjust, I now how a bio med degree and am also a degree holder in applied science and organic chemistry, and almost 9 years sober from the chemicals that once dominated my life,, had I of known what phenyl grouped drugs are, I would never had played spin the bottle with my synapse , it really was not a laughing matter in reflection
Thanks
Great story . Finding that doctor who he described as an angle was massive for him. 🙏
5 years in benzo hell and counting.
Almost 3 for me…ugh!!😩. HELL !! Prayers 🙏🙏🙏
I lived this in 2020. I'm still dealing with the protracted symptoms today. It was absolutely a minute by minute existence of unending terror... my motivation to persevere was to value every moment of suffering as an investment in a better future. I was prescribed klonopin for 15 years and then cold turkied
Me too. May 2020. Still in hell
I managed to taper down in 2 years and as you say living minute by minute. At the end I went back to taking the benzo's. Couldn't handle that horror show anymore.
I'll try again when the medical institution has a decent program where you dont have to die a million times during withdrawal.
Check out Ketamine I read an article in The Crazy Wisdom Community Journal on this treatment it's Psychedelic Medicine in trauma recovery, Very interesting article.
@@FXK23bro that’s it
Those who are cold turkied end up worse because of the glutamate storm
They need to sort out something that can inhibit both glutamate and GABAa receptor to help
Fulanzimil seems to be a good a good idea
So many elements of your story sound truly unbelievable... But I know that sadly this was all very very real for you. Thank you first for your service to our nation, and thank you for sharing your story. You have overcome a terrible struggle to emerge in what seems like a beautiful place in your life. God bless.
I've been on lorazepam 1mg for a year now. The tolerance withdrawal has got unbelievably bad. The mental health team who prescribed this to me will not acknowledge what this drug has done to me and will not support me off it. They seriously need educating, I wish they could see this video. I'm experiencing everything this poor guy went through on the lorazepam , the severe depersonalisation, the crawling in your own skin...all of it. I also have so many physical symptoms and am waiting to see a neurologist to rule out MS, parkinson's etc but I think it's the lorazepam tolerance. I don't see how I will get through this. I'm already in hell. I have a young daughter. These drugs are ruining too many lives. Thank you for raising awareness and making us feel less alone.
So sorry for your suffering. I will pray for your recovery. Be well.
It's awful how a medication withdrawal can lead doctors to think about you having MS.
So much suffering, you've come so far it sounds like 👌💜 I had to cold turkey a 15 year prescription. I made it 12 day's, and it seems like it was for the best that I reinstated. I already have RA & the pain the withdrawal caused on my body was almost unbearable.
The long term effects from quitting are too much. They need to come up with something that works as well as a benzo; but you can stop taking without risking death, wtf. They don't tell you this while prescribing.
I hope you're doing better.
Praying for your recovery 🙏 ❤️
Call on Jehovah God to give you the strength to quit. He helped me quit Zanny Bars and Oxycodin cold turkey 12 years ago.
Dear friend; I sympathize and understand having seen my pal go through this; if I knew of something to help those in this forum would be the first to know and I promise that if and when I find the merest thing to help, even a tiny bit, I will pass it on. I wonder if pot, now legalized might help; I notice that one outlet added sugar to the chewies and sugar is a no no in my books; I got off it years ago; use only pure maple syrup or honey and I think that is why now elderly,,, I take no meds to the surprise of doctors. Might getting off sugar be of some use? just asking... like everyone here we are mystified at just how risky benzos are... my own doc was shocked when he learned my veteran friend was on a benzo. So some docs are aware and may have ideas to help you and others.
Cross it to low dose clonazepam than tapper don't stay on it too than ready for the dipression in the last all psychological propanolol helps for ativan and xanax as they give panic attacks in reverse on tolerance
❤ U too ,Thx 🙏🏻
Wow this gives me hope. I’m currently going through SSRI adverse reaction effects
Incredible, harrowing story. Thank You for sharing. The whole system needs a kick in the ass. The lack of knowledge with some of these docs is absurd and criminal.
No kidding. Thank you for sharing; i hope more people do so;I keep repeating my story of what I have seen - it is a scandal that people are still going through this; why do not more docs blow the whistle.
Damn, glad he is better now but that sucks
Hi, hope you are ok
I have a question
Ativan gone toxic on me
Had to stop
Would that make it harder for the brain to recover ? Thank you
And dose the symptoms get worse or better as you go along? X much love
Is there a part two of this story?
No, this is just an excerpt from an entire presentation about other topics as well. It was edited down to just contain the benzo story for this channel.
The symptoms of benzodiazepine withdrawal overlaps with many of the rabies symptoms, that’s how scary it is.
Oh 😮my goodness, amazing that's a good example of how it feels.
Thank you; my late Canadian Veteran b.f. suffered when under twenty years of psychiatric care - some care - he became dependent on the meds and had horrific reactions; after his doc prescribed Cipralex and Cymbalta together despite warnings from the pharmaceutical companies not to do this, I was witness to the hallucinations; the ultra rapid cycling mood changes down to every four or five minutes apart starting at sundown and going on all night. In this frenzy he dropped the Clonazepam abruptly and abrupt withdrawal is extremely dangerous. Police picked him on the r.r. tracks; they were so good with him but all they could do was take him to the hospital; a Lithium shot brought him down and imho this should have been the end of it; now adjust his meds... but they put him in a coma and he came out brain damaged; like a stranger... no emotion; other girlfriends had had this experience with him over the years; as he said after the comas he would remember he had a g.f. but had no feelings... what they did to him they did to all of us and his family as well.
All true. All true. Very damning.
🙏❤❤❤❤
Doctor cold turkeyed me of 6mg clonzpm and 80mg methadon... it's going on 6 years protracted withdrawal.
What are your symptoms? I'm still struggling to mate dpdr and so much crap
My psychiatrist left me 28 years on klonopin. Trying to detox in hospital. Coded 3 times, 4 seizures, trouble speaking and swallowing. Totally flat. Am I ever going to be myself again?
Time. Just survive.
Many doctors and medical personnel should be charged.detox centers, jail, rehab,etc.they are complicit.
I was prescribed .5mg Ativan twice a day for 5 months and it wrecked my nervous system. I am convinced it gave me a permanently lowered seizure threshold. I cannot drink any alcohol or it gets worse. Avoid all stimulants. Poor sleep makes it worse too. Ridiculous that these are legal for anything except extreme panic attacks or one-off doses. I was pretty much a victim of malpractice due to this and could have solved my anxiety without severe effects with natural herbs and minerals like magnesium.
So sorry! We get emails from people with similar experiences all the time. Hang in there. Wishing you accelerated healing!
@@MedicatingNormalfuck “ hanging in there” we need 💰💰💰💰💰💰Class Action Lawsuit! We were Poisoned ‘ brain damaged
Wow, great speech!
The horror which this unleashes is unspeakable of. Only people who have lived through it can understand it what hell this is. I've got rid of 1.5mg daily Ativan in psych ward and switching to Pregabalin. Then 6 Months later got rid of Pregabalin in another psych ward stay. Currently still on 3 different meds. But it is more bearable than while i was on Benzos now - but still managing all the symptoms
It's unbelievable the level of despair and hoplessness amongst all the symptoms one have to go through - and at the same time dealing with doctors who have no fucking clue about this
It is an absolute nightmare. Just pure torture. I’m so traumatized by the experience I can’t even think about it for too long because it takes me back to that place. And you’re right the worst part is that no one can help you, because no one understands and the doctors are not educated on this. It is criminal.
The only good thing to come out of it is that I know if I can get through that, I can handle anything. Truly. People that survive this are the most mentally strong out there.
I'm PAWs since 2020 from poor doctor advice multiple reinstatement's, Ct'd in a rehab and then severe withdrawal and unable to function. It's criminal.
Glad you made it out, thank you for telling your story.
Finally tapering off the last .5 of the same after 20+ years.
Now I know I don't have MS.
So he reinstated after 2 1/2 years and then tapered? I feel I’m in a similar spot. I was CT’ed off clonazepam 9 months ago by a useless Dr after a decade plus prescription. To say this has been impossible would be an understatement. Do I need to reinstate? It’s been 9 months. I don’t feel I’ll ever get better. I’m a 43 yr old male with a fam and kids. I’m losing my abilities and already barely hanging on.
Hi, unfortunately, once people are off for some time - reinstatement is a somewhat risky venture. It can work. It can only partially work. Sometimes it doesn't work at all. And the worst case, it makes some people worse. You also have to then go on and endure a taper from whatever place you're at once you reinstate. Not an easy decision. That said, many people also just stick it out and go on to heal as well. Wishing you the best as you navigate this awful situation.
Thanks.
Hang in there!! You can get through it!!
how you doing now?
@@matthewrobinson2242I think reenstating is a good idea… better that going insane or killing yourself! Call Dr SHARK a Chinese herb /acupuncture dr in Pensacola FLA! Google him! He can switch u to herbs & save your life
What is this gentleman’s name? I would like to hear more of his story
All of our videos have more info in the description (including this man's name). Mark Keller is his name.
So he gives us this story correct... Its obviously the shorter version as it seems to be cut off most parts ... My question would be how long did he stay on Valium until that was tapered.. and how was he able to come back to normal life? Did he do therapy? Or ? Me like many others are in the same situation... I Crossed from xanax to valium and the valium works very little... And like him im just still like non useless i just stay on the couch at home... And i just want my life back... I wish their was way to contact him and ask him questions....
Problem is doctors not taught in medical school …no single chapter in internal medicine ..Actuaaly it is pharma companies scandal ..money …Thalidomide was also very big scandal 1950…teratogenicity
Hey medicating normal i was misdiagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia instead of cptsd due to narcissistic abusive family. I ended involuntary in ward and they forced me on 20 mg of zyprexa during a 2 month stay. I managed to spit most of the doses out and took it only around 10+ times. Since 3 weeks im in home and i feel depressed empty numb no emotions like a zombie. I never felt such depression ever before no pleasure at all i know ap caused it. Will i recover if i took it only 10 times around? 😭
I’m so sorry to hear you’re going through this 😢. A friend of mine was taking that and felt the same way. I think it takes a longer time to recover from any psychiatric medication than we are told. ALL of them- SSRI’s, antipsychotics, benzos especially, but all of them leave you jacked up.. they rewire your brain, and now ur brain is fighting to recover. It’s so sad. And sadly, so many people are MISDIAGNOSED, and put on a bunch of meds that create more side effects that they’re given more meds for, and the vicious cycle begins. I pray you will find some relief somehow soon Keep fighting my friend 🙏
@@JM-kq7rn only took it around 10 times + , u think i can recover?
@@Organic98 definitely…that’s not a very long duration.. not sure if you’re taking anything else at this point, but I know that for some people (me) being on psychotropic meds made me more depressed. I was emotionless and numb , and just sad I don’t think 10 days is harmful? Was it a large dose? I do know that with some drugs, like Xanax, and most benzos , u can develop dependency in as little as 3-5 days. Please be careful with psych meds!!
@@JM-kq7rn it was the highest dose 20 mg 😭 while im healthy and just misdiagnosed, these psychiatrist are cruel people and should be in jail. Rn i came back to home not taking anything also feeling that numbed feeling with depression only 10 doses. Its crazy....
@@Organic98 hopefully in time that feeling will go away..I’m sorry you had to go through that. I feel your pain- these so called doctors should be in jail- misdiagnosis and just throwing meds at you- it’s truly criminal. Hang in there, I wish you peace my friend. Stay strong. We really are in the fight of our lives, and unfortunately the psychiatric part of healthcare is down right awful..very sad 😭
Just had a seizure after my doctor told me to cold turkey 2mg ATIVAN. After 3 years. Just now am I learning that I'm addicted to the medicine I thought was helping me. This is hell.
You are physically dependent, not addicted. The terms mean very different things. We just correct you bc the incorrect terminology results in harm, and we don't want you facing more misunderstanding and harm. So sorry this has happened to you! Get educated! benzoinfo.com
Best thing to do is not treat panic attacks with this poison
Has anyone had difficulty getting off Temazepam?
They're all benzos. People have had trouble coming off every single one
Of course 😢
Temazepam is a metabolite of Diazepam (Valium). Ask your doctor to switch you to Valium and slowly taper from there. 30mg of Temazepam is equivalent to 15mg of Diazepam. 15 mg is equivalent to 7.5mg of diazepam.
satan in pill form....and that is no exaggeration. They ruined my life.
Im really seriously pissedat that doctor,they all do the same thing,murder people.
People needs to stand up against these dmn doctors and boycott this BS.
Its a real iron men in front of you believe it or not
I was interested in your story but the volume you recorded this at is so low and poor its difficult to follow what you are saying. A moron VA doctor in Santa Anna Cal almost killed me and left me disabled and bedridden for almost 3 years in a hell that I could have never imagines ..and it was my fault and the VA completely washed their hands of me ..and blamed me after this moron rapid tapered me of Xanax of 1 mg in 2 weeks after using it for 14 years and crushed my health and my soul...and if I hadn't gotten away in my car to flee from the clinic I believe he would have had me locked up and drugged into a coma in the VA
yeah, it's probably the audio from the venue - this clip was passed along to us, so we can't do much about the sound - sorry!! Maybe just try headphones and turning the volume higher? Thanks for checking out our channel.
Valium should have got rid of ur withdrawl.
Valium and taper down very slowly. That seems to be the version of benzo that is used to taper down.
It is easy to find on line how the taper works.
Nvm at 2mg it won't do much you'll need 10mg vals
20 years 0.5 Klonopin ( Clonazepam) at bedtime.......... 20 months tapering...... H. E. L. L. ON E. A. R. T. H. !!!! 19 months 100% OFF !!! I HAD NO F CLUE WHAT A BENZO WAS.... NEVER HEARD OF IT....
i took it 5 years same thing and dose. cold turkey'd it and alcohol same time. Hell indeed....
20 months therapy wow , I don't have this time I need to work, wow I'm done
@@bking82 im on my 4th year cold turkey and there are people out there that have been going through hell for years that tapered best advice is to start now eventually youre gonna have to stop.
@@wanderbread4217 How’d that work for ya?
@@markmadison4281 worse than being captured and tortured thats for sure