Yes to ignoring thoughts. So many people say to externalise thoughts but it is so refreshing to hear that you don’t have to. You can ignore and ignore until the thoughts just don’t come. Thank you
On the ball there Tabitha with the game playing. That nutritionist is not to blame for restriction if she doesn't know your true hunger ques etc great words
This is literally me right now 😩😭😞💔except that I dont really msg my nutricionist other than to keep track of when my period shows up..Seeing her this afternoon(meeting). I'm nervous. It's so f*ing hardddddd Thank you
What is the best way to or most effective way to get my wife to listen to your channel and podcasts? I think that you Tabatha can help her more than I can, and more than her treatment folks can. But she is totally adverse to any of my suggestions, she is shutting me out and restricting openly & not allowing me to be of help.
Mail Tabitha's books to your house anonymously and be just as confused/surprised as her at where they came from then Google Tabitha's name and say, "this author has a TH-cam channel" and click play on a video to show her one?
Oh my gosh!! I constantly seek outside reassurance that I didn’t eat too much, especially after my night eating which causes extreme panic and fear that I’m becoming a compulsive over eater and keep eating beyond full. I also play those games with my dietician. Damn really calls me on my bullshit. I realize the night eating followed by day time restriction isn’t helping me so is the night eating also part of my disorder and should I stop it? I too am worried I will gain unhealthy weight by continuing this pattern. That I might gain but not actually rewire my brain and truly recover despite weight gain.
What I am finding is that the more i eat during the daytime, the less likely the night eating happens. I have told people that, but am just finally putting it into practice and it is true. I think in time my sleep will improve and my body will shift to getting its food during the day. I decided I just can't let myself be so anxious about the night eating and trust that it will stop when my body finds a "new normal".
Laurel Karolina thank you. Yes I know this too but it’s been hard to put it into practice. I’m so excited for you. I need to make peace as you said with the night eating and trust it will shift when I get in enough consistently during the day. I keep thinking I’m over eating or binging because it seems like I’m eating past fullness. However maybe I can’t quite trust my hunger and fullness right now. I also need to stop the reassurance seeking and start to reassure myself. So much neural rewriting to do after 20+ years of anorexia.
honestly, the days when i eat big breakfasts (i mean big! with lots of sweets especially) are the BEST. i feel awesome and can actually think clearly. plus breakfast is a great opportunity to challenge/rewire the negative thoughts!
I am really finding the importance of breakfast. It is so much easier for me to makes good decisions for my recovery when my brain is properly fed. Everything just goes better for me when I eat first! Making food a part of my day is really an eye-opening experience!
How come I understand everything you are saying but I keep ending up feeling fine staying at these suppressed body weights as soon as I feel a little better. Like “I gained a little weight, I don’t desire food that much usually, why do I have to force myself to eat, I really want to take a ‘stroll’. .. etc Even though a few pounds lighter I knew I was very sick. I also convince myself if I’m maintaining it’s ok. I guess I want to do everything the hard way. :(
Stacy, me too, watch her video from two months ago with a puppy face thumbnail called "Do I really need to gain weight?" Her money example in that one really helps.
i'm in a similar boat :o( i don't often feel hungry, and forcing myself to eat is SO much worse than my first go at recovery when i had extreme hunger. i'm at a point where i'm "tolerably functional" most days, even though overall i'm pretty miserable. i know i need to try harder, too. but it's...really, really stinkin hard. we just have to keep reminding ourselves that recovery IS possible, and someday we'll be ready to make it happen✨
hectare someday could be too far away? I feel like my behaviors are so unreasonable. Break off a little chocolate eat half put half back, but after a veggie burger and feeling physically full, it somehow seems ‘functional’ like I’m a baby throwing a tantrum. Why do I have to eat more if I don’t want.. you know? It’s so confusing
@@Stacyann_1 I feel you on this, whenever I'm having a hard time eating enough or what I consider to be more than I'm hungry for, I try to remind myself that because of my history and this terrible ED in my brain, I simply cannot allow myself to compromise. We NEED this food, we're not like "regular people" who can skip a meal when not hungry or whatever. We can't do that because before we know it the ED would take over again. So even if we feel physically better and not that hungry anymore, we have to keep pushing. Have you watched Megsy Recovery's videos? They're really helpful too.
sometimes depression can get worse after recovery. a lot of us use our ED to suppress and distract ourselves from depression - it sort of numbs those feelings and provides a false sense of security. the neural rewiring itself is also a huge, exhausting challenge, which can make you feel vulnerable. this is why it's definitely best to have a trustworthy therapist to help you get through everything!
Just my perspective here: eating disorders can trigger mood disorders, but of course not always. When I initially gained weight from an emaciated state, a lot of my 'ocd' behaviour eased. I think a lot of it was due to acute malnutrition, the more I gained weight, those thought patterns eased. So I had obsessive compulsive behaviours directly due to my anorexia. However, I had previously existing trauma (c-ptsd), and this has reared its face moreso during recovery. I have only been able to really tackle all this (c-ptsd) since this last time I recovered after relapsing, and have committed to recovery from the eating disorder. I still really struggle with working through the trauma, however I can deal with it a heckload better than if I were starving & bingeing and purging. I believe, recovery is worth it no matter what. At the least, you'll hopefully have more brain space to be able to deal with any other co-morbidities. Whether or not they have been a result of your eating disorder. It almost doesn't matter - work on ed recovery, commit to it, and do any other psychological work you may need to. Believe in everything you CAN do.
Hi! I have a question. Yesterday I had an episode of extreme hunger and I think I ate more than 6k calories, but I don't know exactly because I no longer count my calories. But today I've noticed my hunger has decreased. Is it okay to eat less than usual today if I'm not hungry? Or do I just force myself to eat as I usually do? I'm not underweight anymore btw.
She always says eat to your hunger and never restrict and that means even if you find yourself thinking about food to go eat some just to be safe. :) So some days we will naturally eat more than others but we still shouldn't be skipping any meals or snacks
I think being overweight would be the worst thing in the world. I'd personally rather be dead than large, overweight. Also, people who are overweight can definitely be healthy but obesity is quite a different story. Obesity promotes one health problem after another, so there is no such thing as 'health at EVERY size.' How come HAES DOESN'T seem to apply when you see really underweight people?
I spent years terrified of becoming “overweight.” I thought it was the worst thing that could possibly happen to me and I needed to do everything in my power to prevent it. I truly believed starving myself and exercising until I blacked out was the right choice because at least it was better than being fat. But you know what? My eating disorder lied to me. I’m “overweight” now and it’s not terrible. My life isn’t over, and in fact it feels like it’s only just beginning. Do not let your fear of weight gain, of becoming ‘large’, stop your from recovering. It’s not worth it.
Ababy, I think your comment is incredibly misinformed, at the least. Hopefully you are able to understand what the concept is about. Your comment is not helpful to anyone, whatever their size.
Yes to ignoring thoughts. So many people say to externalise thoughts but it is so refreshing to hear that you don’t have to. You can ignore and ignore until the thoughts just don’t come. Thank you
On the ball there Tabitha with the game playing. That nutritionist is not to blame for restriction if she doesn't know your true hunger ques etc great words
This is literally me right now 😩😭😞💔except that I dont really msg my nutricionist other than to keep track of when my period shows up..Seeing her this afternoon(meeting). I'm nervous.
It's so f*ing hardddddd
Thank you
What is the best way to or most effective way to get my wife to listen to your channel and podcasts? I think that you Tabatha can help her more than I can, and more than her treatment folks can. But she is totally adverse to any of my suggestions, she is shutting me out and restricting openly & not allowing me to be of help.
Mail Tabitha's books to your house anonymously and be just as confused/surprised as her at where they came from then Google Tabitha's name and say, "this author has a TH-cam channel" and click play on a video to show her one?
Can you talk with her treatment team and have the team recommend Tabitha's resources?
Oh my gosh!! I constantly seek outside reassurance that I didn’t eat too much, especially after my night eating which causes extreme panic and fear that I’m becoming a compulsive over eater and keep eating beyond full. I also play those games with my dietician. Damn really calls me on my bullshit. I realize the night eating followed by day time restriction isn’t helping me so is the night eating also part of my disorder and should I stop it? I too am worried I will gain unhealthy weight by continuing this pattern. That I might gain but not actually rewire my brain and truly recover despite weight gain.
What I am finding is that the more i eat during the daytime, the less likely the night eating happens. I have told people that, but am just finally putting it into practice and it is true. I think in time my sleep will improve and my body will shift to getting its food during the day. I decided I just can't let myself be so anxious about the night eating and trust that it will stop when my body finds a "new normal".
Laurel Karolina thank you. Yes I know this too but it’s been hard to put it into practice. I’m so excited for you. I need to make peace as you said with the night eating and trust it will shift when I get in enough consistently during the day. I keep thinking I’m over eating or binging because it seems like I’m eating past fullness. However maybe I can’t quite trust my hunger and fullness right now. I also need to stop the reassurance seeking and start to reassure myself. So much neural rewriting to do after 20+ years of anorexia.
honestly, the days when i eat big breakfasts (i mean big! with lots of sweets especially) are the BEST. i feel awesome and can actually think clearly. plus breakfast is a great opportunity to challenge/rewire the negative thoughts!
I am really finding the importance of breakfast. It is so much easier for me to makes good decisions for my recovery when my brain is properly fed. Everything just goes better for me when I eat first! Making food a part of my day is really an eye-opening experience!
It's so hard because even if I would try I can't resist my cravings with will power :/ :/
Accountability 👍 yes! As an adult, the only person responsible for me, is me.
How come I understand everything you are saying but I keep ending up feeling fine staying at these suppressed body weights as soon as I feel a little better. Like “I gained a little weight, I don’t desire food that much usually, why do I have to force myself to eat, I really want to take a ‘stroll’. .. etc Even though a few pounds lighter I knew I was very sick. I also convince myself if I’m maintaining it’s ok. I guess I want to do everything the hard way. :(
Stacy, me too, watch her video from two months ago with a puppy face thumbnail called "Do I really need to gain weight?" Her money example in that one really helps.
Mel L I’m going to rewatch that one. Thank you 😊
i'm in a similar boat :o( i don't often feel hungry, and forcing myself to eat is SO much worse than my first go at recovery when i had extreme hunger. i'm at a point where i'm "tolerably functional" most days, even though overall i'm pretty miserable. i know i need to try harder, too. but it's...really, really stinkin hard. we just have to keep reminding ourselves that recovery IS possible, and someday we'll be ready to make it happen✨
hectare someday could be too far away? I feel like my behaviors are so unreasonable. Break off a little chocolate eat half put half back, but after a veggie burger and feeling physically full, it somehow seems ‘functional’ like I’m a baby throwing a tantrum. Why do I have to eat more if I don’t want.. you know? It’s so confusing
@@Stacyann_1 I feel you on this, whenever I'm having a hard time eating enough or what I consider to be more than I'm hungry for, I try to remind myself that because of my history and this terrible ED in my brain, I simply cannot allow myself to compromise. We NEED this food, we're not like "regular people" who can skip a meal when not hungry or whatever. We can't do that because before we know it the ED would take over again. So even if we feel physically better and not that hungry anymore, we have to keep pushing. Have you watched Megsy Recovery's videos? They're really helpful too.
Is it possible that as soon as I recover from ED I also lose my other mental illnesses (anxiety, depression, OCD etc)?
sometimes depression can get worse after recovery. a lot of us use our ED to suppress and distract ourselves from depression - it sort of numbs those feelings and provides a false sense of security. the neural rewiring itself is also a huge, exhausting challenge, which can make you feel vulnerable. this is why it's definitely best to have a trustworthy therapist to help you get through everything!
Just my perspective here: eating disorders can trigger mood disorders, but of course not always. When I initially gained weight from an emaciated state, a lot of my 'ocd' behaviour eased. I think a lot of it was due to acute malnutrition, the more I gained weight, those thought patterns eased. So I had obsessive compulsive behaviours directly due to my anorexia. However, I had previously existing trauma (c-ptsd), and this has reared its face moreso during recovery. I have only been able to really tackle all this (c-ptsd) since this last time I recovered after relapsing, and have committed to recovery from the eating disorder. I still really struggle with working through the trauma, however I can deal with it a heckload better than if I were starving & bingeing and purging.
I believe, recovery is worth it no matter what. At the least, you'll hopefully have more brain space to be able to deal with any other co-morbidities. Whether or not they have been a result of your eating disorder. It almost doesn't matter - work on ed recovery, commit to it, and do any other psychological work you may need to.
Believe in everything you CAN do.
Hi! I have a question. Yesterday I had an episode of extreme hunger and I think I ate more than 6k calories, but I don't know exactly because I no longer count my calories. But today I've noticed my hunger has decreased. Is it okay to eat less than usual today if I'm not hungry? Or do I just force myself to eat as I usually do? I'm not underweight anymore btw.
She always says eat to your hunger and never restrict and that means even if you find yourself thinking about food to go eat some just to be safe. :) So some days we will naturally eat more than others but we still shouldn't be skipping any meals or snacks
try to eat what you normally do! you ate a lot yesterday because your body needed it then...but your body still needs a full amount today, too.
If you are thinking if you have to eat less it's bc you have mental hunger or you are afraid of gaining weight so the answer is go and eat more!
❤
I think being overweight would be the worst thing in the world. I'd personally rather be dead than large, overweight. Also, people who are overweight can definitely be healthy but obesity is quite a different story. Obesity promotes one health problem after another, so there is no such thing as 'health at EVERY size.' How come HAES DOESN'T seem to apply when you see really underweight people?
I spent years terrified of becoming “overweight.” I thought it was the worst thing that could possibly happen to me and I needed to do everything in my power to prevent it. I truly believed starving myself and exercising until I blacked out was the right choice because at least it was better than being fat.
But you know what? My eating disorder lied to me. I’m “overweight” now and it’s not terrible. My life isn’t over, and in fact it feels like it’s only just beginning.
Do not let your fear of weight gain, of becoming ‘large’, stop your from recovering. It’s not worth it.
Ababy, I think your comment is incredibly misinformed, at the least. Hopefully you are able to understand what the concept is about. Your comment is not helpful to anyone, whatever their size.