Very Toxic Parasocial Fans

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 4 พ.ย. 2024

ความคิดเห็น • 104

  • @Eyelessfaces
    @Eyelessfaces 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +126

    I forget how small this channel is, definitely deserve more attention

    • @drgregg1509
      @drgregg1509 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

      We love the high quality production

    • @user-ov9vr1wc2j
      @user-ov9vr1wc2j 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

      Literally same, when he said he had only 5k subscribers I had to double check 😂😂

    • @teethgrinder83
      @teethgrinder83 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      Absolutely, i only found it today and have totally been enjoying the vids I've watched so far

    • @saml302
      @saml302 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      this is the second or third of his that I've clicked on. I just subscribed, this guy is 🔥🔥🔥

    • @teethgrinder83
      @teethgrinder83 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      @@saml302 yeah if someone deserves to have their channel grow he's definitely one of them I think

  • @bonghitsandheavyriffs
    @bonghitsandheavyriffs 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +63

    i have a parasocial relationship with harland's garage.

  • @Bubblesthewitch
    @Bubblesthewitch 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

    I’m always so confused that John Mulaney fans are upset over his personal life and not that he associates with Dave Chappelle.

  • @andiralosh2173
    @andiralosh2173 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

    On a serious note you're making what video essays need to be moreso. Not more fancy expensive overproductions, just thoughtful reasoned points you take the time to make and to make funny. Love your work 🫶

  • @tastysand05
    @tastysand05 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +75

    The video of that girl talking abt her personal vendetta against John Mulaney gave me so much second hand embarrassment

    • @c0ttage
      @c0ttage 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      it's really weird oml

    • @jeremyusreevu237
      @jeremyusreevu237 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Why would you even hate John Mulaney? That dude is hilarious!

    • @tastysand05
      @tastysand05 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      @@c0ttage she acts like she actually knows what happened and the different sides of the story and not just the information that was spoon fed to her by the media

    • @chica9722
      @chica9722 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      especially when she said he betrayed her like girl he does NOTTTT know u😭😭

  • @evan-michael
    @evan-michael 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

    i was watching/listening to this while playing stardew, but i do genuinely think this is my fav video of yours. the substantive philosophy is nicely woven in to the narrative

  • @doggfite
    @doggfite 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +18

    Haha loved the kickin' dogs reference
    The love letter to dropout continues

  • @welpppppppppppppp
    @welpppppppppppppp 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +23

    i come from a media studies background and have done some writing/research in the fan studies space which i find tends to lean too hard into the benefits and transformative qualities of fandom. it's certainly true that participating in that horde of the audience can be a way to develop and define our identities and it has a lot of upsides, but we need more nuanced conversations about the ethics and drawbacks of knowing more than ever about the people whose art we consume publicly. especially when consumption is now seen as promotion full stop rather than a chance to do some analysis and critique using our media literacy skills. another great video 👏

    • @silverXnoise
      @silverXnoise 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Word? I’m working in my fallback career too.

    • @silverXnoise
      @silverXnoise 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      That sounded more acerbic than I intended. I sincerely have a BA in Media Studies, and work in I.T.. I enjoy opportunities to stretch my media theory muscles any chance I get, which is probably why I enjoy this channel. Hope you’re enjoying a fulfilling life, despite likely ruining yourself for most television and movies as I certainly did. I enjoy The Sopranos on a much deeper level, though, so there’s that.

    • @welpppppppppppppp
      @welpppppppppppppp 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@silverXnoisethe sopranos is an all time great!! no offense taken lol i feel you im also in a slightly tangential career and just do media analysis for fun/to annoy my friends and family. i ended up not pursuing media studies beyond undergrad actually in part because i didn't really want to interact with the fan studies sphere even if it would have been relevant. its a very particular kind of fandom that even as someone who is a fan of things i find... shall we say cringe

  • @sinfulhappiness
    @sinfulhappiness 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +16

    Fantastic video. Rational analysis and arguments? What is this place? 🤣
    I always reference Marc Maron's comedy special "End Times Fun" that goes into the status of interacting with Marvel universe sycophants. And how they react like religious fanatics, similarly to some levels of parasocial relationships.
    My wife has slowly built an emotional bond with Taylor Swift's music over the last decade. Was not into it initially at all, but learned more of her story. When the record label fiasco happened though, there was a clear exponential fervor that started building. Later learned that she was in T.Swift fanpages reading endless arguments and thoughts of others. The pandemic really gave too much time to focus on what would normally be just a peek at once in awhile for her.
    From 2020 to 2021 she was wearing mental military fatigues for sure. 2022 until now she has disengaged from the "fight" because it got to the point of exhaustion. Realizing that Scooter Braun's detractors were still standing around taking turns stomping on his well mutilated reputation thinking.. "Uh guys? What are we still doing here? .. I am going back to focusing on Taylor rather than give this chalk outline anymore attention." lol

  • @AidanPatko
    @AidanPatko 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +11

    Even as the hyper-self aware autistic person I am, I still find myself falling into this way of thinking now and again. Thanks for another great video. I’m in love with you and I want to know everything about you :) /s obviously

  • @undercover-cowboy
    @undercover-cowboy 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +31

    where my harlond harlots at 💯💯💯💯💯

  • @Crowz0xx
    @Crowz0xx 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

    My decrease of interest and interaction with fandom directly correlates to my increase of mental health and happiness. The insane thing is- I was involved in lots of K pop stuff. The message of those- especially BTS is love yourself. And I do think most genuinely want to spread that message… but holy shit man. Looking back, it makes me wonder if it was “love yourself” or really “love yourself… for me.”

  • @baggedmeats3474
    @baggedmeats3474 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +12

    Great video I’m so glad that you’re my best friend

  • @zoerichardson4619
    @zoerichardson4619 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

    You have quickly become one of my favorite content creators, I always learn new things from you, thank you!

  • @RussellB
    @RussellB 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +15

    that may be true but at least I have a good friend like you

  • @narutosemails4717
    @narutosemails4717 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +16

    Overall, I agree with the video that asks of us to truly evaluate the relationships we have cultivated with various public figures and how it may be harmful to how we move about the world and mold our worldview. And I do think some fans can take their parasocial relationships too far, whether it be in their internal devotion to a public figure and/or how they go about expressing said devotion. However, I disagree with the implication that parasocial relationships on the whole are bad or should be avoided. I say this because parasocial relationships are not inherently intense or harmful but rather a neutral & natural part of interacting with people and characters through a distanced way, so I don't really see it necessary (or even possible) to avoid developing one. It doesn't take that much to develop a parasocial relationship, especially with the prevalence and further development of social media. However, you should of course monitor it and how it could be negatively influencing how you interact with others and yourself; and I also agree that social media is making this phenomenon worse given how we as human beings are just not meant to be consuming this much information about public figures, much less the ongoings all over the world. And to expand on your point about how parasocial relationships can be rooted in hate, I also think parasocial relationships combined with the spread of therapy language has allowed people to masquerade their personal dislike of a public figure with supposed critique of their 'problematic' behavior. And this is the flip of stanning an "unproblematic fave" - now parasocial relationships you form have some moral underpinning to it. (and ofc social media helps perpetuate these behaviors by rewarding it with engagement). So yeah, while I agree there are problems with how people move about their parasocial relationships (much of it exacerbated by social media), I do find they can be a way to connect with other people around you and yourself and can even assist in personal growth. It's nuanced, and I do find it important to recognize a parasocial relationship being more broad as to then better acknowledge your own behaviors and view of a public figure even if it isn't the overtly negative version we usually associate with it.

    • @harlandspinks
      @harlandspinks  7 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      I mention this a little bit toward the end about how they can be good and balancing healthy/unhealthy obsession/parasocial engagement is objectively hard to do in a society that demands conformity. Honestly, the video was way longer than my usual stuff and I had already cut it way down, but probably could have gone on for another 20 minutes about exactly the points you brought up because I do agree.

  • @SnoFitzroy
    @SnoFitzroy 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +11

    I think the divorce thing has a bit more nuance to it: On the one hand, whenever a pair or group of people break up (not just romance, but friends, teams, etc) it's basically always the best thing for them to do, so yes we should celebrate divorce when it happens! HOWEVER, that doesn't mean there can't ever be hard feelings, or that one person was Definitely In The Wrong in Some Way. Sometimes people just...fall out of love. Sometimes it's not as cut and dry as "one was crazy/abusive/whatever" but I do understand why this generalization is made, as someone who's witnessed that specific scenario (where most of the fault clearly lies on one person, i mean) happening to friends and family many times.

  • @leading_horse_expert
    @leading_horse_expert 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    investing at 5.26K (thanks for ur takes on addiction n recovery 10/10)

  • @xg2513
    @xg2513 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    This is absolutely incredible quality. This channel will be huge in the future

  • @to1620
    @to1620 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    The extent to which people try to get noticed in these types of para-social relationships is mind blowing to me. And, I think it’s interesting to note that many people will actively seek out “lesser” known personalities just for this type of thing. Case in point-online superchats and monetary gifts given to influencers. It has always struck me as being the height of stupidity for someone (especially someone expressing that life is expensive and they can’t meet personal financial obligations) to be gifting sums of money to an online persona-when said persona is already earning a substantial amount of money through the platform. Tipping a waitperson who makes less than minimum wage for great service is FAR, far different than sending ridiculous “super stickers” and other monetary rewards to a person on a live stream doing nothing else but basically expressing their opinions and thoughts. I would no sooner throw money into a tip jar at a movie theater for the actors, than I would drop bank on a “virtual” coffee for a creator.

  • @NextToToddliness
    @NextToToddliness 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +14

    Red Letter Media is the Fight Club of TH-cam channels, in that it's meant to be satirical, but is instead taken by the majority of its audience as earnest and true. If the greatest takeaway from your channel is the majority of your audience believing you support very toxic ideologies, then it's just as damaging as material created with honest and malignant intentions. I was a big fan of theirs for a long time, but it was their fandom that drove me away. Because, while I can laugh at the satire and baser jokes, in the back on my mind, I'm imagining that teenager or twenty-something who think these guys are legit. Considering the state of media literacy on the internet, I'd say that it's best not to pet the bull.

    • @Justeeeevy
      @Justeeeevy 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      I can give you some hope, that as a 20 year old who’s friends with plenty of other 20 year olds, we all in on what RLMs about, and absolutely adore it!
      I don’t really see as many of the comments you claim to see, other than the uncreative comments… but they definitely do exist, which is unfortunate.
      Personally, I don’t think it’s difficult to see past the satire in their content; just takes paying attention in high school English to grasp it haha! 😊

  • @averyeml
    @averyeml 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    Oh god I desperately hope my fellow Disney Adults do realize that the Disney Corporation does not love them back

  • @HiMyNameIsKim
    @HiMyNameIsKim 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    This is a total side bar, but I was admittedly sad at initial glance and I admit, I too have a little bit of an ick about MY PERCEIVED understanding of the relationship, but then 2 things came to me: 1- he was an addict. We should be GRATEFUL he didn’t have kids around that time. 2- people change their mind 🤷‍♀️. Then I got over it 😂

  • @screenPhiles
    @screenPhiles 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I'm binging your content and while I've never heard the word 'parasocial' before your video I've always thought the idea of people feeling empathy for people they've never mend that's on a par with family and friends kinda demented.

  • @sustainablewave8671
    @sustainablewave8671 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I love your format and casual style.Thank you Subscribed!

  • @manic_girl
    @manic_girl 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

    As a Philadelphian and a birds fan, I can confirm we are way more aggressive than anything Travis Kelce can do 💀💀💀

  • @driesvanoosten4417
    @driesvanoosten4417 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    For some viewers, it's a small step going from the Plinkett reviews to the critical drinker. I think it says a lot about the integrity of Red Letter Media that they do not radicalize along with that part of their audience.

  • @patrickracer43
    @patrickracer43 หลายเดือนก่อน

    8:54 btw, the most insane part involving the guys who own all of Taylor Swift's Big Machine records, when Scott Borchetta got into a real bad crash driving his Trans-Am race car, the Swifties actively wished death on that man, which I have to say, how insane do you have to be to see a story of a guy having to be transported to the hospital after suffering injuries and wish death upon that person
    Edit: 8:58 I didn't know that Elsa from Frozen was managed by Scooter Braun
    Edit 2: 11:13 honestly Travis Kelce getting in Andy Reed's face was a turning point in that game, as evidenced by the fact that it was the Kansas City Chiefs who left Las Vegas' Allegiant Stadium with the Vince Lombardi Trophy and not the San Francisco 49ers

  • @ashtherebel2346
    @ashtherebel2346 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    I love your background!

  • @silentrob668
    @silentrob668 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I'm waiting for the day Harland reveals he's actually sitting in a well lit room with a green screen and the mess is actually AI generated. But I give bonus points for using a lapel microphone properly as god and every sound man since the 60s intended.

  • @Van_Lex
    @Van_Lex 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    15:18 I'm always surprised by the "need of communication" of some people on the internet - lacking any value to the audience. What irony to comment about that.

  • @astro4671
    @astro4671 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    wow you don’t even have 10k! your videos are great you’re definitely going places!

  • @christinabeehive7714
    @christinabeehive7714 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I like your background clutter. The lines and negative space, and over all composition is quite good.

  • @saml302
    @saml302 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

    hell yea, man. glad my good friend Harland is always coming through w the common sense commentary

  • @anaerobic
    @anaerobic 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Don't think 'held him down' means what she thinks it means

  • @antoinedesgagnes9969
    @antoinedesgagnes9969 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thanks to that vid I know understand why some Swifties thought Taylor Swift was behind the Argyle novel thing. I tend to see Swifties as what would have been Céline Dion if nowadays Internet would have been already there back in the late 90s. I didn't know for the Easter eggs thing. It's stoll rabdom and over-the-top, but at least now I see why such rumors can start among this fandom.

  • @drowsy7921
    @drowsy7921 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    17:20 the way she brings his addiction into this just screams ableism. He doesn't owe her anything just because she did the bare minimum of helping him when he was having a health crisis!

  • @watson483
    @watson483 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Hot topic sidekick sounds like a great band name
    This video is amazing and I wanted to sit with it before talking then that line just made me laugh so I had to say something
    Okay the no bummers rule was put in place for live shows not just all the time but the fandom ran with it and kinda made it a massive thing. It was originally so people didn’t ask super sad or fucked up questions at the mbmbam live shows

  • @stainedglasspixie
    @stainedglasspixie 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Again, your take on Watcher is welcome.

  • @TonyGiannamore
    @TonyGiannamore 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    As a John Mulaney, fan I was genuinely shocked at the response that came from his divorce with Anna. It seems they all go to lengths to speculate and assume facts in order to justify their strong response. I'm also noticing an immense parasocial backlash from Jeff Jackson, the congressman who posts vlogs about being in congress when he supported the TikTok ban. To these folk, any step thats not 100% in their direction discredits the whole person and it is now safe and good to hurl the worst things you can at them. What has made me most uncomfortable is how the Israel-Gaza situation has created toxic parasocials on both sides, but especially in Gaza. Parasocial relationships for real world geopolitical events is really scary.

  • @louisachalarca6494
    @louisachalarca6494 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I love red letter media and loathe the commenters but love when mike reviews an indie feminist films like the assistant and I just love a bad movie

  • @maryalicefike4704
    @maryalicefike4704 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

    i agree with all of your swift critiques except for the “she only writes songs about her ex boyfriends” . i have never heard a male artist critiqued for speaking about past relationships, bc heartbreak is one of the most common emotions used in song writing. justin timberlake made a ton of music about his ex girlfriend’s, bruno mars, ed sheeran. should people attack said ex partners ? absolutely not. but if we can’t write about love and heartbreak, there would be no music

    • @harlandspinks
      @harlandspinks  7 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

      Just to clarify, what I said is that she "she writes songs about every single person she's [ __ ] and then either dumped or broken up with", not that she only writes songs about her ex's. That's an important distinction. But, I do agree she gets way to much hate for it and the fact that it's kind of a joke is problematic in itself. And you're right that men rarely get criticized or made fun of for doing the same. Maybe I should have talked about the artists you mentioned and that's on me. I only brought it up because of my follow up argument about how her fans then go after her ex's "on her behalf" which Taylor should know is maybe gonna be an outcome based on their past actions.

    • @harlandspinks
      @harlandspinks  7 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Also, all of this. This video could have been an hour of me just talking about Swift.

    • @maryalicefike4704
      @maryalicefike4704 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      @@harlandspinks i’d really dig into justin timberlake as a case study of the difference between how men and woman are treated when in comes to writing about ex partners. people still defend john mayer, even though he was a 32 year old dating a 19 year old taylor. but just recently people are speaking up against justin’s portrayal of brittany in his songs and music videos. he never said to just listen to the music as art, and to not speculate or harrass britney like taylor has multiple times.
      sorry for the ramble, the way sexism is intertwined with “girly break up music” critiques is a special interest of mine . and how the bias is so easy to hold until you realize, wait, I have never heard these arguments made about men and look into it further

  • @ericpetersen6343
    @ericpetersen6343 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I'd almost pay money to watch some of these people meltdown watching Anthony Jessilneck

  • @darkvioletcloud
    @darkvioletcloud 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    That woman ranting about John Mulaney seems terrifying in an odd way. She's so confident in how she speaks about something so batshit insane over a guy she doesn't know. I wonder if she tries to do the same things and make up lies about people who are actually in her personal life? Mean girl vibes tbh.

  • @ValerieKnight-oj5sq
    @ValerieKnight-oj5sq 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    That's for this video, you're my best friend.

  • @cidneeemanuelle9062
    @cidneeemanuelle9062 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    9:42 I see that Make Some Noise reference..

  • @HelloMyNameIsDreamer
    @HelloMyNameIsDreamer 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Omg, that Izzy Rolland reference 😂

  • @slashismyhommie8182
    @slashismyhommie8182 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    You had me subscribed until you made it political making fun of flat earthers.
    Then you gained a lifelong para social fan. I will endlessly harass anyone who is slightly critical of you.

  • @randallallen875
    @randallallen875 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Just so you know, this is the video that inspired me to subscribe. I'm now your BFF. Your consent is preferred, but unnecessary. Prepare to be assimilated.

  • @GordonSlamsay
    @GordonSlamsay 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I actually love RLMs comment section. The overused jokes really are the key to all of it.

  • @Babytronians
    @Babytronians 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Parasocial relationship with TikTok rizz party

  • @keepingitkianatural
    @keepingitkianatural 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I don't like cheaters. I also dont care for John Mulaney. He lost the very thing that made me identify with his comedy. Consequently, I just don't support him. Haven't thought about him since. That's as far as the backlash should have gone for those who cared.

  • @StonedChiliDAWG
    @StonedChiliDAWG 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I’m here to be that chiefs fan, it’s pronounced like the name Kelsey 😁

  • @andiralosh2173
    @andiralosh2173 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    If Louie CK is your second favorite comedian... that's on you. George Carlin is just good taste. Try Josh Johnson. Maybe as a women also like... try women?

  • @thebigksmoosey
    @thebigksmoosey 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Cool video. I like your style

  • @mikhaelmortimer5858
    @mikhaelmortimer5858 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Scooter's Meemaw 😭

  • @Jlittle3784
    @Jlittle3784 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Hey, I just found you a week ago. I like you, dont go messing things up already! I knew the dam Andy Reid/Philly/ Eagles fan comment was coming before u even said it. SMH 😂

  • @louisachalarca6494
    @louisachalarca6494 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Great video back to red letter media lol

  • @josephsager9425
    @josephsager9425 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    God, I love your last name.
    Can we get married so it's my last name too?

  • @codytime5712
    @codytime5712 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Who is this man😳

  • @brokennib1
    @brokennib1 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Just subscribed, cool channel, don't take this personally (of course) But I don't do Patreon, just because I have a limited income and have my own goddamn problems. If You Tube had better compensation for it's creators, this would not be an issue (Fuck AdSense)

  • @steffany-raelynch4030
    @steffany-raelynch4030 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

    well, hello then 😅

  • @stainedglasspixie
    @stainedglasspixie 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I see you Dropout fan.

  • @ashleybursch2804
    @ashleybursch2804 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I have a parasocial relationship with you❤

  • @Dudeoverhere
    @Dudeoverhere 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Travis Kelce grabbed and screamed at his very old coach. I don't agree that, that may be a good peek at what toxic masculinity he may have. I do think that, that action was gross behavior regardless of the circumstances behind winning a game. It's a game. So throwing your skateboard at no one isn't really analogous to Kelce's actions outside of being angry.

  • @Akirakirakirakiraa
    @Akirakirakirakiraa 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

    @23:15 shoutout Camus

  • @katakesh8566
    @katakesh8566 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    We still pretending RLM are insightful? 😔

  • @Ivyzord
    @Ivyzord 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    Uck Te Ew Yo Cht Cl

    • @Ivyzord
      @Ivyzord 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Fuk the NY yach club! „fuk the ..ew” looked a bit fishy to me for a moment there…
      Right! Can focus on the vid now, sorry!

    • @sinfulhappiness
      @sinfulhappiness 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      Fuck The New York Yacht Club New Port '83?
      Curious about the story of that. Lol

    • @harlandspinks
      @harlandspinks  7 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Took me way to long to decipher this. @sinfulhappiness got it. It was from some documentary about yachting and how the NY club basically stole the win from some badass Australians I watched and thought it was funny and found the shirt somewhere online.

    • @Ivyzord
      @Ivyzord 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Thank you both! With the mystery of The Shirt solved I was finally able to refocus on the vid!

  • @jordylan.m
    @jordylan.m 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I like this video, but your background stresses me out. Will watch more of your stuff, hopefully with a less hectic background :)