Relax with Your New Manager (ASMR)
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 10 เม.ย. 2017
- Your new manager, who just so happens to be a former employee and collator of TPS reports at Initech, holds a meeting with you to get to know you, offer you some much deserved compensation for all the hard work you've been doing, and most importantly help you relax and experience the Autonomous Sensory Managerial Response using some simple methods, office supplies and other objects that you can find at the workplace, including but not limited to:
00:26:33 Shoes
00:33:05 Marble drink bottle
00:36:16 Briefcase
00:38:14 Stress Paul
00:42:42 The Red Swingline Stapler
00:47:47 Staple strips
00:50:19 Rubik's cube
00:52:35 Tape dispenser
00:54:05 Tape
00:56:23 Bag of rubber bands
00:57:50 Hole punch
00:59:09 Staple remover
01:00:45 Zen garden
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What is ASMR? It is both a sensation and a medium.
ASMR stands for Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response and is the current, non-scientific name given to the feeling characterized as a pleasurable tingling sensation felt in the head, scalp, back and other regions of the body in response to visual, auditory, tactile, olfactory, and/or cognitive stimuli, such as crinkling bags, hand movements, whispering, personal attention or watching someone perform a task. It's like goosebumps, but much more pleasant.
ASMR videos are meant to intentionally help induce this sensation, also referred to as "tingles", but also provide a relaxing, calming, soothing, therapeutic and even entertaining experience for the viewer.
Many people who do not experience ASMR still enjoy the videos for their calming and sleepy effect. - บันเทิง
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if this was for real, it would be the weirdest meeting ever. imagine your actual manager took off his shoes and started clapping them together
Yeah, that would probably be pretty weird if that happened IRL.
Helen Hedley Sounds like an ordinary Tuesday to me :^)
Helen Hedley I can't help but feel that you haven't seen his other videos.
Y'know, I didn't really think about that. xD
"...Was that all you wanted to tell me about? Because now you've been clapping your shoes and creaking your stapler for a while."
Helen Hedley I'd still think he was more sane than my current boss.
I'm really emotional right now, so I'll try to keep this as straightforward as possible without going too much into my own personal experiences. I'm so sorry for your loss Rift. Potatoes are not the easiest pets to take care of, given their strict diets and awkward sleep habits.
That being said, I understand the love and personal reward that comes from raising one from the womb. I sympathize with the struggles that you are enduring. My heart and prayers are with you and your family.
Deepest condolences,
Thomas R. Greco
CEO Lays Co.(tm)
adri Bam I saw this very emotional when I glanced at it, then saw you were talking about the potato. And let's not forget about how his goldfish drowned!
As soon as i read "potatoes" i pissed myself lmao
adri Bam fucking gold.
Why did you send him your heart?
We could have done experiments on it, or you could have sold it on the black market!
But no. You just sent it to some random guy.
@@sow5563 yeah, that snack isn't smiling back anymore :(
"how did the funeral proceedings go?"
"swimmingly"
Adrian Walker I don't get it :/
Finn Ross because the funeral was for a fish!
Adrian Walker What do you call an everyday potato a commontator
As Yoda once said: "I don't know, the joke was good but the delivery could use a little something"
Adrian Walker ay b shud not b abl 2 fli
The perfect manager doesn't exi...
It’s MICHAEL SCOTT BITCH
@@user-lq8gt2rh5q agree
? you already know biotch
ephemeraldrift 🚶
@@user-lq8gt2rh5q ummmm it’s obviously Creed bratton
"my deepest, sincerest sympathies for your loss.."
????
"you know.. your goldfish..."
the slowest and widest smile just crept on my face
So I was watching this at work when my manager walked up to me and asked why wasn't I working. I told him that this is my new manager now and he said it was OK and that I don't have to listen to him anymore. I am now out of a job. Thanks ER!
Space Age ASMR if you're being serious then I salute you
Space Age ASMR Nice, ER is always there. 💯👍🏿
well u did click on a new video... and ur manager would b be offended... XD
Space Age ASMR please tell me your joking please
If your serious don’t be a dick and ask him you stoped working and told your manger off
i fucking love this guy
droid 17 Same here lol
droid 17 I know it's important for Tingle Droids to expand their pallet to increase their technical understanding of Tingles™ but Dr. Tinglebottom requests you return to bay 9 for a preliminary upgrade to make tingle download and deciphering easier for us.
droid 17 you come from the doc?
I believe him to be the same model. But my facial recognizers have been on the fritz recently.
I believe him to be the same model. But my facial recognizers have been on the fritz recently.
I would love to have Uncle E as my manager
Elijah Powell Same
Elijah Powell Yes! It'll be awesome
I call him Uncle Rifty.
We Remotely Low, I call him big E dawg
Elijah Powell I would love to have Uncle E as anyone. ANYONE.
"How did your pet goldfish die? "
"He drowned."
*single tear rolls down cheek*
Somehow logic manages to leave this video, but I loved it so much! Very relaxing, I enjoyed the fact that it was soft spoken, which I prefer over whispered. Keep up the great work!
goldfish can drown if they arent moving if they somehow move backwards (like if something pulls them back)
Wow. It's almost as if that's the point.
In a world where everyone is the same guy...
Austin H Their not the same you have to have very high IQ to get it that's all
Uhh guys should o remind you about the impending doom of Cthulhu
Still one of my favorite ASMR videos going into 2023
The reason why every Karen wants to see the manager is so she can meet this guy and finally feel relaxed
You need to write a book or something about all the characters in all these different spaces of time and rifts, it's all so fascinating. sometimesI think about it myself.
milkinglass He really should! I didn't watch all of his videos so seeing the connection between them would be great haha
*Thank You So Much For Devoting Over An Hour For Us!!*
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Bria B ASMR VIDEOS your pfp is so terrible
Dear god fucking change it
jesus christ its honestly fucking annoying
your asmr isnt even good with your loud ass voice which is fucking annoying too
i agree ^^
CSRT4 Ever offended?
Is this a sequel to the 'calling you in sick' video?
MrSnuffle probably
30:29
MrSnuffle yes
And that was a sequel to his Pet Potato video.
MrSnuffle no, it is part of a constant story he has been building for years, with every video adding to it
Love the goldfish continuity
I bet Uncle E would love to see you sleeping on the job
"Just give me one second, okay?"
*keyboard warrior mode activated*
Griffon
*screatching can be heard in the other room*
Nice Joji profile pic, boi
Ephemeral, I believe you have my stapler.
it's not yours it doesn't have your name on it
1Nostrand1 *mumbling* someday I'm going to burn this office down
Mike Steven was that an office space reference
Love that movie
1Nostrand1 or a Milton's Office Space ref
The Office Space references make this already awesome video even better
gold fish drowned. im done lol
and potato. my life is complete.
Samuel Boyer what?
It’s so it’s not to serious enough to make you relate or feel sad lol... duh he’s a pro not one o these asmr hoes
At least you didn't say lmao dead
So sad
This video has saved my life, it's 1:30 in the morning in the U.K. And I keep hearing and seeing things and I can't get to sleep, but as soon as I put this on I'm completely fine, cheers ER
I hope you're doing better 5 years down the line.
Loved the Office Space references. One of my favorite movies.
its amazing to come back to one Rift's videos from almost 6 years ago in 2022 to see the quality of these older videos are on par with his newer videos and just as satisfying. respect.
Do a United Airlines flight attendant role play
void airsoft lol he just does an entire video of a camera and mic being dragged roughly across the carp-OH MY GOD THAT IS THE GREATEST IDEA FOR AN ASMR VIDEO EVER.
void airsoft do you mean bouncer?
*Plans to do something for September* 😏✈️✈️🏢🏢🏛
@@NotJxrd I'm surprised this comment didn't get an extreme amount of hate. This is usually the type of humor we reserve for our close friends.
Love the office space reference. Classic movie.
this guy really puts skill into his craft. i don't know what i would do without his vids, it seems like they're designed to meet my exact needs
Please make more vids with the zen garden !! The tingles were coming in like crazy!!
5 minutes in and I haven't been yelled at.
Note to self: Manager is an imposter
sus
Amogus
i think He is faking His Task to be Manager
ඞා
Bro was ahead of the curve
Man the Candy Man really gets around. I find it unlikely that I'm actually his "favorite client".
Justin Kaiss What are you talking about? Everyone is his favorite client.
A Random Opinion Impossible favourite is something or someone preferred to all others of the same kind. ergo you can only have one favourite client
i've played this in the background a few times over the years, and always on bad workdays. thank you. 💖
I like his dedication to his role in the asmr videos. Keep up the tingles man
i would really love to see a video dedicated to the zen garden....
Louthinator I'm pretty sure he has some already they are just pretty old
Is it me or is he in a cardboard box
The Dishonored
I see it
The Dishonored you just made me realize it!
The Dishonored Probably works for the corrugated paper industry
Maybe a cubicle of sorts?
Holy shit. I've seen this video about 8 times already and never saw it till now. I can't unsee it. Thanks for nothing O.O
The dream manager I never had. Excellent shoe, briefcase, stapler, and staple accessory tingles. Zen garden = 100%+ blissed-out. An entire zen-garden video would be most welcome.
Love your videos man! Appreciate all the time and effort you put forth for your viewers!
This one needs a sequal at some point, loved it.
My mum asked why a strange man on my screen was tapping a stapler.
The Trickshoter
Mom: Why are you watching a middle aged man tapping a stapler and whispering creepily?
Me: Why not?
Why does everyone watch this stuff in public??
“My mum” And that’s how you know he’s either a geeky cool guy ( that prob. Watch’s and reads to much Harry Potter and fantasy books) or he’s British.
@@hadeson3122 why do you care so much
waffle :3 cus’ I feel like it.
Surprisingly, I really love the shoes and the staple remover. More please!
Thank you, I'm happy to be part of the team. I appreciate your approach to management!
First he calls us out of work, but then when we return we have a new manager lol :)
"My pet potato died" "feed it nuts and bolts, old shoe" XD I died
Thank you Uncle E. I have lots if testing this week and your videos really help me get a good night's sleep
This is great! Used my earbuds during this video (which I rarely think to do), and it makes such a big difference! Besides the earbuds, this is a great video! The sound quality is fantastic!
Rift you should totally read some Creepy Pasta stories
Max Boyd Slenderman or Sexually Offenderman..... spoopy
Max Boyd or professionally record Alan Watts and HP Lovecraft audiobooks
this would be amazing, I second this
Max Boyd Cryaotic should read some more Nosleep stories
Max Boyd or he could spend his time well
I hope you get 1 million subscribers you deserve it
Yes! I'm just chilling in school and now I can relax too! Thanks Uncle E!
Initech. I love you Rift. Office space is one of my favorite movies.
What a nice Office Space you have there.
🙄
i have a fucking amazing idea for a video- ok so rift puts the title as something super normal like this "Manager, Therapist roleplay etc" seemingly normal video no RP in the title then towards the end of the video he's like "oh you never asked who i worked for" and then whips out a business card that says like "Arkham sanitarium" on it and then the camera zooms in on ER's face as he begins to laugh manically and the screen cuts to black or it glitches and some really freaky shit happens
Imperator Houlihan I want this to happen just because I want to hear whispering maniacal laugh.
Oh no it won't be whispered. i mean when he laughs the asmr will end and it'll just get genuinely terrifying
Imperator Houlihan and then all of the character and then The Rift gets an intervention by all of the characters he's ever made because he can't stop MAKIN THE FUCKING TAPPING SOUNDS
i bet there'd be some serious sexual tension between charlie carl and margret
Imperator Houlihan and then the colossal plot twist of rift actually being the whispering banana!
I see that Ramune bottle on your desk! Ramune is amazing!! also, excellent video. I was getting tingles almost immediately when I started watching this. 10/10
Love the tape player in the background
Not only did ER brought me ASMR, he also taught me that staple remover are a thing.
And they said, you can't learn things from the internet!
Who said that? 😂😂
I'm almost certain no one in the history of man has ever said that.
I can only assume after you called in sick to my previous job my manager figured out I was lying and fired me. This is my new job.
My Name Name OR the previous manager wanted to fire you, but the other employees heard about that and got fed up with his bs, so they complained to the boss, who fired him, and this is your new manager.
A Random Opinion That's possible. Thanks for that random opinion.
My Name Name Thanks ASMR for creating new jobs!
He explains that he is a new boss because of restructuring that has moved managers to new departments. He even sends his condolences implying that he was already your new boss when you called out for the goldfish.
Alec Mason Ah. Sorry, I was just trying to joke around.
Your endless stream of ideas on what to make a video on are so entertaining and soothing
You should have 1 million subscribers! Your the best asmr artist on youtube sir! Keep them coming!
I wonder what they type on their computer in these videos.
Sentry probably like, hdbeksisbd dejsjidbdbegsjdjfhrjwisiwqdfsdds or Jesus I am so hungry, or I really don't wanna do this.
btw I like ur profile pic
Nicholas Field Thanks homie
The entire script of the bee movie
The poet fish part was totally random and unexpected, which made it even more hilarious 😆😆
I love these ASMR videos... I watch them whenever I’m stressed or have a headache...
I happen to have a new manager at work and that dude is relaxed. He shows employees funny videos on his phone (and watches theirs), vapes over at his desk all throughout the day and is laid-back, yet does his job well. We keep up with the job so well that there's literally about 6+ hours a day where there's nothing to do but sit at a desk.
The goldfish tie-in really caught me off guard 😂😂😂
i strangely got hyper when i saw him raise up the ramune bottle
im weird..
Toma Vaporwave I give you a pass Rei
Toma Vaporwave you thirsty?
Perhaps it's your
A E S T H E T I N S T I N C T
*flings ramune bottle into space* begone
As he lifted the bottle, t i m e b e g a n t o ｍｏｖｅ ｍｏｒｅ ｓｌｏｗｌｙ．
ER! Thanks for your videos. I use them to sleep because i have trouble falling asleep. But you help me with your asmr. Thank you so much!
Great video man!! I love pretty much all of your content!! Youre easily #1 at asmr.
Manager of Relaxation United.
Japanese soda , rubix cube , orange. This must be a time portal to the future me.
rubik's*
Thank you! I fell asleep earlier while listening to your "The Three" video that you recently released! Great stuff!
Sweet call back to the goldfish excuse video you did recently! That made me smile.
I was waiting for him to do something with the orange.
Boi this video lasted longer than my job tho
Tho really dude learn how to spell, get off your ass stop being lazy and do your fucking job
It's 1 hour
I LOVE the movie Office Space and got so excited when I saw you're doing a role play of it. Thank you so much ^_^
btw as always the sounds were so relaxing to nap to
The lore is so deep with this wonderful man. Its great! :D
That graph was hilarious
Who watches so much asmr that the only videos in the home screen and recommended list are asmr vids?
Loved the office space reference!
that stapler gave me mad tingles, loved it!
Hello 911? Yes, my manager is in posession of illegal sugar based treats he referred to as " Icelandic Candy " Im unsure if they were infact sugar based but someone referred to as the " Candy Man " had brought them I had heard rumors but I'd never thought he was real!
Salaph Spark Haha! 👍
inb4 pov casting couch
turbo1177 W
turbo1177 😂
First job I've had and all of my supervisors as well as the GM are great. I feel like I'm blessed after reading the top comments.
I LOVE YOUR TAPPING
when you start i get tingles for like 20-30 seconds even if you stopped tapping
(sorry for my bad english idk if u understood)
27:23 Sounds like the sounds while you are placing blocks in Minecraft 😝
the potato died and now I'm sad
Vylet Pony ikr
😢
Vylet Pony tgg
RIP Potato
Srry to hear that
I actually use these videos to help me sleep, because I suffer from extreme insomnia, I usually get 4 to 6 hours of sleep but lately these have been helping so thanks
Another great video uncle E! Really appreciate the effort you put into your videos. I have one request also, could you do another roleplay video on Negan, would be cool.
Should be "time" instead of "salary" at the bottom of the graph :)
Gountek or just one graph
Anyone else almost never comment on ASMR videos, and just read through everyone else's comments?
Those Hard candy sounds at the beginning were amazing. The whole back of my head was tingling like crazy
the subtle Office Space references have made my day!
R.I.P Pet Potato
That diagram was so bad it hurt my brain (IB maths high level problems)
I love the lore and all cross overs from other characters and asmr videos you have
Loved this video. Keep up the good work!! 😁
so because your a manager and you got candy from the Candyman, this video is before the war or whatever destroyed earth in the candyman video?
Seabass G Could've always been a different Earth, through the Rift.
The ASManageR
21:27 That alarm in the background scared the hell out of me, it sounds just like my alarm and it woke me right up, your face when you heard it was like OH SHIT! no hard feelings gave me a good chuckle.
the goldfish drowned!! i frickin lost it! one of the few times an asmr vid has made me genuinely laugh. keep it up rift, we love your work!
office space lol
jonathan franco SOMEONE FINALLY
i was scrolling down to see if anybody noticed a reference from office space and finally found someone....
Anyone else find it funny that it's a Stress Paul and that's his name?
I nearly wasn't able to fall asleep whe you started talking about the goldfish haha, you're the best!
I'm so happy you quoted Office Space.