No, this is abuse. She took away her daughter’s bodily autonomy and never even had a conversation if that was what she wanted. There is no forgiveness to be had with such a betrayal.
This was an actual case that happened in the 1930’s. A woman was about to come of age to have access to her late father’s inheritance, and her mother, who didn’t want her to have access to that money had convinced medical personnel that she was mentally incompetent and therefore deserved to be sterilized. Her mother poisoned her food, which led to stomach pain, and she was taken to the hospital. The woman was told her appendix had burst, and were going to “remove her appendix” when in reality they had her sterilized. The woman took her mother to court and it was a great big hubbub.
She could only get her inheritance if she had kids. You forgot that part. Lol. She lost her case because what her mother did at the time was in fact legal.
Unfortunately, it’s not illegal in some places, more so back in those days, but it is IMMORAL. To think that if her mother had confessed years before she might have been able to reverse the operation or try IVF or something, but now she’s too old. It so sad. It’s even worse that these things have actually happened in real life.
Its still legal in 4 states and not done openly as in the past but still done today. Funny thing is only 2 if the state's that is legal is on the south
It wouldn't have been when that woman was 14. If she's in her 50's when this episode aired you're looking at, at least 40 years ago from today. At that time sterilization was being used to prevent 'undesirables' from having children. People with Autism, mental illness, mental/physical disabilities, low IQ, Down syndrome, and yes, even rebellious teens and minorities were sterilized without their consent or knowledge. Back then, eugenics was how society looked at things. Only the 'best' genetics should be allowed to breed. And it was all not only perfectly legal but supported by the American Government. Even now, immigrant women and Native American Women are being sterilized against their knowledge.
I know they're trying to make it seem like the mom was just protecting her daughter and wants what's best for her, but I disagree 100%. She did it to control her "wild teenager" of a daughter, and she begged the doctors not to tell the daughter because she didn't want to face the consequences.
@@beverlyarcher3744 She couldn't, actually. In the southern US, it is considered morally wrong for females to use birth control. This is because the south still clings to sexist religious dogmas that tell young girls they deserver to be raped and impregnated for doing so little as wearing *SHORTS IN THE SUMMER.* They see the female body as a sex object, and refuse to see girls and women as people. If the mother had put her daughter on birth control, she would have faced major abuse from the religious. But sterilization is always acceptable, AS LONG AS it is done without consent. A female must never not want children, they must instead have no-children forced onto them if it is seen as the "right" thing to do.
@@beverlyarcher3744 Uh not back then no. Clearly from their ages she was a teen in a time when birth control was probably just coming to market and not easily available in backwoods towns.
I think people don’t realize that the mom said “the judge said she has 2 options or go to jail”. If you look up the history of inmates or women who have gone to prison, the jail system actually gave the women the option of getting their tubes tied if they didn’t want prison time. This was a practice in CA up until mid 2000s, look it up. The mother is at fault but I think this episode wanted to bring to light this hidden barbaric secret of our prison system
That is completely different. The Women were given a choice. They made their decisions as Women ie Adults and knew what the consequences of their decision were. A fourteen year old Girl being unknowingly sterilised without consultation is Criminal. She had no choice, no say in the matter.
The women actually said the judge gave her 2 choices to be able to keep her, like she said they were from the mountains and the young gurl would get in trouble so for her to not be takin away and placed in foster care and also for her to not reproduce any others possibly trouble like herself they gave the mom the choices either we take her away or u allow her to be sterilized, they did that allot back then with poor folk or criminals or single mothers on welfare or to those they just deemed feeble minded
Exactly!!! The Mother was tricked and bullied, so she gave in to his demand. The judge treated her daughter like a stray cat that needed to be spaded before being released from the pound.
@@stephanieyee9784 Not true, if you do not know the difference between lawful and legal you will be treated as property. The Mother did not know and was bullied in to medically mutilated her daughter as it was outside of her full consent in exchange for her release.
The worst part is that tubal ligations can be reversed (as can vasectomies). So her mom took away her chance to have children not only by having her sterilized, but also by continuing to lie about it all those years.
@@sarahrobertson634 in theory, in practice it often can't be. Just as in theory cutting the tubes can be reversed as well by stitching things back together but in practice it's not always going to work. Or in theory they can reattach a severed limb, but in practice it's iffy.
This is so deeply wrong, i lost my ability to have kids due to childhood cancer, the grief and rage you feel off and on throughout your whole life, there is no way she'd just immediately forgive someone who did that to her and lied her whole life about it knowing she wanted kids. I would choose violence.
To those who think this is an exaggerated senario, up until the 1980's many poor women were forced into being sterilised and many were unknowingly sterilised. It was a rather common occurring thing and very lucrative for the hospital and doctors performing them. Remember often times truth is indeed stranger than fiction.
@@MsHall0000 The United States....especially in the special needs population. The females in institutions were sterilized. Most were given hysterectomies, so 1: they would not get pregnant and 2: So staff wouldn't have to deal with their monthly cycles. Look into the history of medical procedures for birth control on women.
someone quoted a case where this happened in the 30s, where the mother said the daughter was too mentally ill, and that was still reason enough they would do it without patient consent. Also, it was done to poor women until the 80s,
@@weebpotato2366 I agree. I wouldn't care about not being able to have kids, but the decision is mine to make. Doing a procedure on me without my consent is invasive and a huge breach of trust.
I love the image of a mom tricking her daughter and secretly getting her tubes tied at 14 when I can't even get my ovaries removed at 28 with a significant family history of ovarian cancer because "what if I want kids someday?"
Literally this. The world is so fricking backwards. 🙄 A 14 year old can unwillingly have her tunes tied but a grown woman can't choose to remove her ovaries?
My little sister has a similar issue. A law was passed in my southern city about this. They refuse to do a tubal surgery unless the woman has more than 3 kids or is over 30. My 28-year-old sister has a uterus that looks upside-down in shape and tilted slightly. She has had one kid and he was premature because of it. She wants no more kids and doctors have warned her about having more. She is taking all precautions as she counts down the next 2 years. Go out of state if you have to. That's what my sister has been looking into.
And people want to argue that a child can choose their gender and have a sex change before 18..but you can’t even get your ovaries removed at 28 with a significant family history of ovarian cancer because “what if you wants kids some days?”
I guess it makes SOME sense. Assuming there's no evidence that you have any cancer yet? Isn't it typically policy for doctors to not remove perfectly healthy organs? I know it's scary, but unless you've shown signs of cancer, I can understand why doctors would hesitate to do that. The whole, 'What if you want kids?" just sounds like a poor attempt to placate you, honestly. The real reason is most likely the slippery slope. They can't make a habit of removing healthy organs from people just because patients want them removed. There's only so much time and resources that doctors have. They need to prioritize the people who need surgeries due to serious health conditions. If they make an exception for one person who wants to have surgery "just in case I get cancer", then they open the door to everyone being allowed to do the same. And suddenly, there's tons of people taking up doctors' time and resources who are not in any serious medical danger. Plus, there's also the fact that such a major surgery is quite risky. You could easily die during a surgery like that. A doctor might see that as an unnecessary risk when there's no evidence you are in an danger of cancer from your ovaries yet. (But again, all this is assuming there are no signs of cancer yet. I take it all back if it turns out there's good reason to believe your ovaries are already cancerous. In that case, seems utterly ridiculous for them to try to prevent the surgery.)
I know what you mean. My daughter is 22, and autistic, and has epilepsy. My daughter and I had a serious discussion about having children, and both of us knew that she could barely take care of herself, let alone a baby. When we approached her doctor about having her sterilized, her refused.So, for now, we just had an IUD put in her. She had to go through surgery to have it put in, and it was painful for her. This was 2 years ago. In 3 years, we will have to put her through another painful surgery to have it taken out, and a new one put in. It infuriates me, that she has to go through 2 painful surgeries when 1 man thinks he knows my daughter and her disabilities better than I do!!!
They've been doing tubal ligation reversal since the 70's. This episode apparently came out in 2015. If someone had told this lady what really had been done to her she would have actually had a chance at having children. That's the saddest part.
I mean it sounds like it wasn't really up to the mother. Forced sterilization is a legal thing that happens, unfortunately. Lying about it, yes, that's evil. Especially because they used clips which are reversible in 90% of cases, so when she was older and more responsible, finished school and whatnot, she could have reversed it, but it looks like she's too old now
up until the early 2000's many states actually forced this as an option on young women. it was pretty much the justice system telling them to be sterilised
It was playing god or a major exercise in narcissism. In mythology, Narcississ was obsessed with his reflection and the control over that. Outside of just "all about me," Narcissists view other people as reflections of their self-worth, everything they do and accomplish is given to the narcissist, and people are not individuals with needs and wants independent from the narcissists. Here, the mother thoughtlessly sterilized her own daughter from what other people spoke about the girl, leaving the dynamic between them permanently mother and daughter, and the only expansion or alterations would be from the mother's initiative.
@@geoffreyedgson7875Would it have been better if the mother had told the judge no and let her daughter be sent to jail? Jail is not a good place for a teenager. The judge didn't give the mother a choice. No, the mom probably should have explained to the daughter at some point what happened and why she had to make the decision (which was basically forced on her by the judge) she did. It's really easy for people to condemn the mother but that's how the judicial system worked for poor people.
My husband's tribe was victims to extended campaigns of involuntary sterilization. Things only came to be revealed in the very early 1990's, when a whole generation of healthy young brides who wanted to regrow the tribe just could not get pregnant by any way shape or form. So, naturally, they started going to fertility doctors, and they got tested, then the docs told them "Well of course you can't get pregnant, your tubes are tied " but they had NEVER gone in for that surgery. Naturally that revelation touched off a whole lot of local ruckus. When the doctors were caught and questioned why they did such horrible thing, they replied "Because it's better for them if they're never allowed to breed". Literally exactly like they would speak of spaying a dog. It was sickening. In her generation, MIL was one of only very few women who could have babies. As the families got to talking, it came out that Her mother's generation and grandmother's generation had also been subject to the practice, that any time any native girl or woman went in for ANY anaesthetized surgery, she was surgically sterilized as part of the procedure, and never informed of it.
And this will happen again. I fear for my daughters. If my husband and I do not raise them with politically correct philosophy and now that racism is actively being encouraged from the highest levels of government, this is a constant threat
The woman with appendicitis is the patient. If anyone discovered the woman wasn't informed about here own medical conditions by her own doctors, they'd be vulnerable to a a massive lawsuit and possibly losing their licenses.
@@pullybungieharder Yes, I understand that the mother was basically asking the doctor to do something that would make her vulnerable to a massive lawsuit and possibly cause her to lose her license. My point is she asked politely.
It’s more than just legal liability, it’s basic moral decency. The mother was asking the doctors to become willing accomplices in the cover-up - to knowingly participate in the ongoing violation of another person’s rights. The daughter’s doctors have a duty to the daughter, as their patient. And she has a basic right to the truth about her own body. So ultimately, the mother’s preference to continue the deception is irrelevant.
The patient needed to know why her appendix bursted and why she needed an emergency appendectomy. She needs to know that the previous procedure she had was actually a tubal ligation and not an appendectomy. This is important info for the patient to know in case she has another complication and/or procedures in the future. Not knowing this info could lead to misdiagnosis, delay in care, and can cause harm/death to the patient. Most importantly, it is simply unethical to keep information about the patient's own body from the patient, especially if they're capable of making decisions. It goes beyond protecting our licenses and preventing a lawsuit. It is about being a patient advocate and putting their best interest first.
How they would explain it? "OOOOH, your apendicis bursted here, no one here know why, buuuuut, you had apendicis until now." And the other surgery? If not appendices, what was that?
@@-MaryPoppins-people like the Kennedy girl could be considered feeble minded and forcibly sterilized. The Kennedy’s just decided that a lobotomy was better.
@@StephanieBrooklyn not exactly. There is a labyrinthine legal/psychiatric/medical process that has to be done in order to change gender. Legally, parents cannot be considered in gender dysmorphia because of HIPAA. If a teenage girl just asked what the difference between an IUD or birth control pill is, there is no reason to involve her parents if she's just asking for her own future knowledge. If a kid who only wants answers to questions about sexuality/gender, then the same rules apply; a doctor will tell them facts, not their own personal feelings.
The story took place 30 + years ago. She was poor and the Judge threatened the mum that he would jail the girl . So she was kind of forced at that point. But she could have undone the procedure later in life if she had told her daughter the truth. So that's her fault.
Contraception is extremely accessible today yet unplanned pregnancy is about 40% in the US. It doesn't appear that hours of sex education or the availability of cheap to free contraception does anything to instill responsibility in rebellious young women so it is doubtful that contraception availability would have mattered.
That does happen back in the day. Any women going into the Mental Health facility would almost be sterilized to prevent the 'madness' from spreading to the next generation.
My neighbor did something similar to her daughter..she actually did get pregnant at 14 and in her mothers rushed attempt to ’fix’ the mistake her daughter made she damaged her uterus and her daughter was never able to get pregnant again. It caused her immense pain and led her to abuse drugs for some 20 years after. Parents can be so selfish..
My grandmother’s sister was involuntary sterilized when she went in to get her appendix removed as a teen. Simply because she was poor, and her mother told the doctor she wasn’t sure how she was going to pay the bill. So when he went into surgery, he sterilized my great-aunt at the same time. Didn’t tell the mother until after it was done. Rural MN, 1930s.
This is pretty messed up. I had sort of the opposite situation…I tried to get a hysterectomy (With parental consent) at 17, was turned down. Tried again at 18, turned down. Tried at 21, turned down, tried at 25 and was told I would have to get my (At the time) fiancé’s written permission. By the time I was 30, my circumstances had changed drastically and I no longer had (And still don’t have) health insurance, but long story short, I was diagnosed with PMDD at 14 and PCOS at 17, and doctors all knew it would mean a lifetime of suffering, but they were unwilling to consider a hysterectomy for me bc I “might want kids one day”. Not only did I never want children, I explained to them that if I wanted to have kids, EVER, adoption was the only choice I would ever make. So, now I occasionally have cysts rupture and black out from pain leaving me immobilized for days from pain, I still don’t want kids, and women have even less bodily autonomy now than they did 20 years ago. Yay America!
I'm so sorry. 😞 It is seriously so messed up how doctors don't give us any real choices over our bodies. There is SO much change we need to implement in America.
@@FG56710 yeah. That’s not the only reason I ended my engagement, but it’s a solid reason I’ve never considered getting engaged or married. No matter how far we come, a woman marrying a man will always come second. Car salesmen will always address your husband first. People at weddings or bars or whatever will ask your husband’s permission to dance with you. Even if you make the most money, everyone will call him the “Head of the household”, etc. you’re owned by your dad until he walks you down and aisle to hands you to your new owner. Women don’t have their own last names. They have their father’s last name, or if they had a single mom, their grandfather’s last name. I think that experience really changed a lot of things for me, I won’t even live with someone now. I am the head of my household only bc I am the only one living in it. I hate how true that is.
I get where the mother is coming from when it comes down to her daughter becoming pregnant at such a young age. Any mother fears that for their child. However taking away the whole option of being able to have any kids, any kid at all is far beyond wrong, abuse. I can only imagine if she tried to get pregnant in the past and thought that something was wrong with herself when it was never her fault at all. It was all her mother. Thanks for uploading.
Getting pregnant at such a young age isn’t the worst thing to happen I totally get no one wants their child to have a baby young buuut people act like it’s the ending of the world when it happens
the judge said, jail time or give up kids, and yea have it secretly done because we know your daughter wants kids at 15 years old so she can lose them to CPS all because shes a juvenile criminal, or hear me out, the mother actually did this to protect her daughter from jail time, and was scared her daughter would hate her for saving her from a life of imprisonment, which from what was said, yea that would have happened,
The judge was at fault here. He gave the mother an ultimatum or else her daughter would have gone to jail. Also the surgeon who operated was responsible for doing this without the child's knowledge. The mom seems undereducated, and was influenced the by the judge.
It was a common option in several states in the past. Typically in cases after more than one child has been removed from custody with repeat failed rehab addiction parents
Indigenous women are fighting this law right now in the senate and at the human rights commission. They did it up to and past 2006. It may still be in law as I dont think its been struck down yet. No settlement or verdict has been reached. It is a very real story for some women.
@@Wednesdaywoe1975 A woman getting sterilized after committing a crime doesn't instill as much sympathy from me over a woman getting sterilized for being born the wrong color.
@@InitialPC By the way, this stolen country took parts of Mexico too. So if anything, you have no clue if any of those refugees actually have forgotten roots in the same place you feel they are outlaws,criminals...for suffering from colonialism and imperialism.
@@taw8963 And the Mexicans stole that land from the natives who then stole that land from someone else and so on. The natives were not this one homogenous group that are the ultimate victims, they were hundreds of warring nations constantly torturing and brutalizing each other for more territory. Don't go "oh boo hoo stolen land" when you don't even fucking know who originally owned that land. And chances are, illegal immigrants at the southern border are not spanish princesses who have claim to the continent.
I know this is fictional, but I feel there are people who would rather sterilize their children than have the conversation about safe sex and prevention. That’s corrupt and absurd.
The road to hell is paved with “good intentions”, but we have to live with those consequences. The rage and vengeance I would have if my mother did something like this to me, I’d probably try to take some sort of legal action & never speak to her again.
I can't imagine someone deciding at FOURTEEN you will never be allowed kids. All 14 year olds are idiots, it doesn't mean they won't make a good parent at 28...38...48. Taking that much of a huge life decision away from someone should actually be considered torture 😰
@@purplebean8989 need to break this to you but there's still places where that's the case. It is very common in Michigan and even some parts of Ohio that if you lose custody of your children to Department of Children Services for whatever reason they will decide you can no longer keep any child you have after that. And they will threaten you with that to make you sign over that child. Michigan has been known to go across state lines to remove a newborn born to someone who lost a child to the system at 15 who's now 30 married completely different place they don't care we said you are never allowed to have a child again you aren't allowed to ever have a child again. There have been people who have fled to Canada to try to escape those rulings because they have completely turned their lives around and are now fit parents and want to start their lives over and Michigan authorities have gotten warrants to remove those children from their parents and have the parents thrown in jail for contempt of court. It still happens. It has happened to full grown adults much less children
@@threelittlegingers8290 a former prisoner who missed a proper education and holds no valuable skills to any employer. Not much of a life could be made out of that
I find it amazing how so many ignore the fact that a Judge is the one who threatened the Mother with these options she had no proper counsel to see beyond. She too was young and poor, and did not know how to get her troubled child out of detention. Yes, it was a terrible choice but she didn't know she had other choices. Poverty & Ignorance are the most malignant diseases. The comment section continues to prove the level of ignorance still going around. People in poverty are abused and manipulated by the Injustice system every day and yet most of you will continue to ignore it and blame the victim for being robbed if their rights. May someone take empathy on you when you need it the most.
There's no excuse for taking away a child's bodily autonomy or an adult's. Ignorance and poverty are not excuses for poor decisions. They are just the explanation.
@@disgracedgrace7613 keep in mind what dr 100 said about the judge threatening her is also into play. This was the 1980s probably at the time when this happened and we both know that the justice system back then wasn’t that good. Not saying our modern justice system is perfect but compared to justice systems we had for centuries before today’s, ours is a improvement. And she said it herself that this judge practically had a lot of power over the county so what this judge did was use said power to force the mother to make two choices whether or not the daughter was aware. Mother isn’t perfect but not all of it was her fault. If she didn’t do this the daughter would have been in prison.
@@disgracedgrace7613 Yeah, I don't know why the stupid woman didn't hire a Yale lawyer to fight for her kid. That's what you'd do, isn't it, hire the most expensive lawyer from the top law school in the country. You know how to get yourself one of those, don't you?
What the mother did was absolutely wrong and abusive, but rather than just blaming her I feel like it should highlight the cycle of poverty especially in rural communities. She struggled herself having her daughter at a young age and was told by a judge that she only had two options - have her sterilized or she’d end up in jail. She was essentially backed into a corner and probably felt like choosing to tie her daughters tubes was the only way to guarantee she would not go through the same struggles. The choice the mother made was the wrong one but I feel empathy for her as well as the daughter.
Same. I know everyone is bashing the mother, who made the wrong choice, but I also empathize with her too. The mother’s intentions do matter in this case, she did it to protect her daughter because she loves her. The mother was born into poverty and I’m assuming relatively uneducated. Then to be given an extreme ultimatum by an authority figure - a judge, im sure she was convinced it was the right choice. Her biggest mistake was not telling her daughter sooner, although im sure it was very hard to find the right time to tell her. Like if her daughter is crying how she hasn’t been able to get pregnant
I’m sure the mother had been struggling to figure out how to tell her daughter who she loves, without destroying their relationship irreparably And if she’s uneducated, she may not have known there could be other options for her daughter to have a child biologically, besides adoption So I can see how the mother would’ve had an extremely hard time deciding when or if to tell her daughter. Especially if it made no difference in her daughters ability to have a kid. It’s likely she’s spent her whole life with this pain and regret
that’s FUCKING disgusting of that mother. She WANTED kids. she could’ve had them. some people can’t have kids at all. some ppl don’t want them. but this girl literally wanted to be a mother. that’s so sad, the fact this happens in real life. (btw she didn’t even talk to her daughter at 15. about it. wtf)
I get Is a show but Is ANY of that even almost legal?! A Judge told her to sterilize her daughter to keep her out of jail?? How in the nick knack paddy whack does that work?
As someone whose appendix actually did rupture when they were 12, the pain is excruciating to the point that she probably would’ve blacked out rather than just throwing up on the doctor shoes.
Mine ruptured in my mid thirty's ( about 7 years ago), and all I did was throw up, make an inappropriate joke so someone had some past words to share if I didn't make it, and then lights out till it was over.
There can be relief when they rupture, too, though (my dad’s ruptured 3 days before they diagnosed it, because his abdominal pain had mostly gone away when it did, so they thought his fever and vomiting couldn’t be from appendicitis). Different people have different experiences. I’m sorry you went through that and I’m really glad you’re okay.
No the county did that, if she went to jail I am pretty sure the Judge would have done it regardless. This was over 40 years ago and things were alot different than they are now, especially in backwater counties.
@@DragonGoddess18 you say it doesn't matter but what choice did the mother have? She was being threatened by the judge that she either lose her child or get her tubes tied. Remember she's a mother she didn't want to lose her child and she was probably too poor to leave the town so she really had no choice but to do that. Now her keeping it from her daughter I dont agree with but this lady did not want to lose her daughter even though she was struggling so don't say "no matter how you slice it still wrong" if you can't even consider her situation
Seeing people say she did the right thing is alarming. Some of you people probably shouldn't have kids if you think that. Be alarmed. Be scared for your child but taking away their bodily autonomy should never be an option. Period.
I had my first child at 20, and the doctors doing surgery tried to force me to get a hysterectomy since I needed a c-section, if it wasn't for my mom being there, I wouldn't have the children I have now, some doctors force this on their female patients even now a days, its cruel.
My dad's mother did the same thing to one of my aunts. This particular aunt would have made a wonderful mother but she never got the chance. My grandmother had 14 pregnancies and 12 surviving children. They were from the mountains of Kentucky too.
@virginiathompson7978 I'm from Science Hill in Pulaski County. But Daddy moved us to Melbourne, (Melboring), FL in 66. I can't stand FL, would have loved to move back home but none of my kids want to leave😢.
Is this even legal? Unless it is a life-or-death situation, I don't believe any parent or guardian should have the right to alter their child's reproductive potential. That's just horrible! EDIT: Look, I feel for the mother. I just think she could have handled the situation better in any number of ways. A kindness now can turn into a cruelty later on. The mother not only sterilized her child, but never told her the truth! Regardless, parental consent on matters of child reproduction and underage/child marriage should absolutely be ILLEGAL. I honestly did not know that these things were legal in America. It boggles my mind.
She didn't glamorize the decision, hell she lived the life of a teen mother. She was pushed into a corner and picked a lesser evil so to speak. I don't agree with the decision or condone it but It is also unfair to not look at it holistically. Would you let your child be a teen mother with likely an absentee father for the kid and on top of that in and out of Jail?
@@triplemoyagames4195 I'm probably going to get a lot of pushback for this, but to me, sterilization is not the lesser of 2 evils. It's taking away someone's future. (Yes, I know adoption is always an option, but it can be costly and challenging to adopt. Plus, I don't care what anyone says...it's not the same as carrying and giving birth to your own biological child.) The mother did what was the most convenient for her and her daughter. At least, that is the way I look at it.
@@melissasammy6702 No trust me, I doubt I'd make the same decision, you're talking to someone who if possible would want upwards of 10 children, so it's obvious my fertility is one of my most important things to me. With that being said, I simply can see where the mother is come from. Life is hell as a teen mother, let alone a single teen mother at that. So I can understand why the Mom would do anything to prevent her child ending up the same way, if not, worse than her. The mother chose the option she thought was neccesary, plus we can only assume the pressure she felt from the judge and such. It's easier to judge with hindsight and when we aren't in that situation.
@Adelphia She lived in the rural south likley in the 70's and knowing American healthcare, I doubt it was available. Like I said I don't condone her decision, going off the story, the mother was under duress. She didn't want her daughter to end uo like her. We don't know the full circumstances. Its always easier with hindsight
This happened to my brother's ex girlfriend... she's older (in late 40s or 50s i think?) and when she was young her parents had a doctor "fix" her against her will, so she was never able to have children.
Back in the 70s and before (mostly back water counties of the USA) if a girl was deemed overly promiscuous the court could order the girl to be sterilized, married, or leave that county. Many people choose to give their children a bad stomach ache and say that it was appendicitis.
Sadly this still happens today...when working at a group home for special needs adults, there was a 35 year old female- very high functioning but severe developmental delays and behavioral issues....well she was a larger girl and had a larger chest the mother convinced her to get a breast reduction, this occurred after she was found to be taken advantage of by men she was meeting online...the mother had her tubes tied while under for the breast reduction. The mother then went on to convince the daughter that it was the best thing for her because she "could never care for a child and children are a lot of work"...whenever the subject of children were brought up, the daughter would say the exact comments her mother had indoctrinated her with. This mother was a piece of shit. It was sad to watch. She constantly criticized her, told her she was fat and would try and restrict her food (even putting a lock on the fridge because she would steal food).
I don't see how this is really forgivable, but also, there would have been other options that would have similar rates of preventing pregnancy and would have been also 100% reversible, like an iud or arm implants, for example. I also can't say for certain as I have not seen the episode, however, I get the vague feeling that somehow forced sterilization and lying to your daughter for her entire life is acceptable, but abortion, or giving up a baby for adoption if the daughter had gotten pregnant would not be. This is a mess!
@@HosCreates I don't know. I did a quick check, and at least according to Wikipedia, copper IUD's have been around and in-use since the 1960s, with the technology going back further, although use may have been more limited. Besides, these are examples. Birth control pills have also been around for a long time, and would have been another option. Given this takes place in the US, and judging by the possible respective age of the daughter, there would have been other options besides permanent sterilization at the time of when she was 14 years old. I can't speak for other parts of the world, however. I'd also be happy to do more digging or provide more quality resources to confirm anything, if needed.
While options may have been available in the timeline, the mom stated they were poor. Birth control flexibility has always been available to the rich. It's the poor that have never been able to access it.
@@ChaniBethyPooPoo She was poor and living in a rural community, as well as being pressured by a judge. Other options would have been difficult or not enough to appease that judge. Oh, and by the way, Nikki Berns, this still only the 21st century.
I think I heard birth control pills used to be only allowed for women who were married, and could carry a heavy level of taboo due to attitudes toward premarital sex being very negative. I feel like I can see how covering up a sterilization under the guise of a different medical procedure, which allows you to keep things quiet, would be seen as preferable to trying to argue getting access to a recurring prescription that will carry stigma with it Anyways that seems like a pretty good motivator to make sure options are available to allow these types of situations to be dealt with in a better, less damaging manner
Psychology and psychiatry as professions get dragged for historic flaws but social workers were the architects of eugenics and deeming people "feeble minded" to sterilize them.
Sourthren doctors are a different breed. They will do this a 'Wild child' to stop teenage pregantcy, but will refuse a c-section becuse 'if god wanted a baby born that was, he would of put a zipper there.'
it happened to a lot of people without any consent from any parties, it still happens, but usually to people of color (it used to be basically routine to sterilize native women during other procedures, it's a tool of genocide)
Yeah I have a family with a bunch of OBGYN in it. Considering the time frame we’re talking, yes there absolutely would have been a number of southern docs who would have done so. Surgery has a really unfortunate history.
plenty of doctors would do it, especially in deeply religious communities. Just look at the hordes of doctors performing medically dubious, if not outright needless, procedures for religious or purely financial reasons. Things like circumcision (on both boys and girls) are nothing short of mutilation and are hardly ever needed (the ONLY need for it in men is in case of severe inflammation of the penis that can't be treated by medication, in effectively amputating the infected tissue for example).
I know how that feels because I went through something similar. My dad manipulated me into getting a tubal ligation when I was 19 because I was disabled even tho i wanted kids.
Abled bullshit, man. Sadly, what your dad did is still legal in 31 states, thanks to the Supreme Court decision of Buck v. Bell. It was decided in 1927 that forced sterilization of disabled people is constitutional, and no one has explicitly overturned it. Stack that with the repeal of Roe v. Wade, and disabled people are stripped twofold of reproductive autonomy in this country.
Sadly this isn’t uncommon in the south and small towns. During the eugenics movement they would do any people they saw as undesirables such as disabled, blacks, mentally delayed etc. and force them to get sterilizations mostly women some men it was horrible. These were not adults also they were as young as 13. Sometimes done without the parents permission.
Regardless of the intention behind what this woman did, it was wrong. Period. She was a child and should have been allowed to become an adult and make the decision for herself.
Lol when your native loots of reservations and places had mandatory sterilization especially in clinics when people were pregnant or seeking abortions etc. Yes, this shit has happened a lot to a lot of people in the US and probably still happens in places.
i always wanted kids but i was told recently that i am infertile but i found out it was caused by my meds see i was in and out of the hospital for suicidal thoughts because of some personal things going on at home and i was put on a mood stabilizer i was never told by anyone that one of the side affects can be infertility but they told my family i still havent forgiven them for not letting me have a say bc now i will never have kids and it breaks my heart
Judges and laws back in her day were much different. Also everything thing had cocaine and cancer in it, so bad choices are bound to be made by people of power.
May have something to do with that mama was unmarried and had a baby which was big time frowned upon in the area as well as most of the USA. Unwed mothers were the lowest of lows. Single mothers of this day get treated with more respect than single mothers of that time.
A poor single mother with barely an education would listen to someone in authority. That judge preyed upon that poor woman and fed into her fears and she, without the full story, agreed.
I believe in bodily autonomy…and that everyone should know what’s going to happen to them/what has happened to them and this is violating on so many levels. Especially since she tried to have kids and never could and thought it just was her fault. That would be a deep betrayal, the kind that would break trust forever and cause deep seated resentment. On the other hand, I get it. Poverty is no joke. Childhood poverty, even worse. Watching your child starve or get sick and not having any way to help them? Devastating. But that’s why women should be able to choose. Some feel strong enough to do it, others no. It should be their choice. I wouldn’t take my child’s decisions away from them, even if it was to protect them from the consequences of their own actions…but I get it.
@@brontewcat I'd RAISE HELL if a judge tried that shit, because it would be - wait for it - EUGENICS. And even if I had no choice, I'd have told my daughter when she was a young adult, because that surgery is reversible.
@@wastingmytime7258 I think the second point is the real betrayal - not telling her daughter. If she told her daughter when she was 18, and that it was reversible then her actions were more easily forgivable because I get the impression she had little real choice BTW I the judge’s comment may be an example of eugenics, the mother’s action to prevent her daughter getting pregnant and living a life of poverty is not.
@@wastingmytime7258 Actually the best form of contraception is education. The better educated a woman the better her chances of making choices that do not lead to early pregnancies.
I’m autistic & I don’t want any kids simply bc I’m having a hard time taking care of myself & I don’t want to bring a baby unnecessarily into a difficult situation. If I ever get pregnant I would want to put my kid up for adoption to make sure it goes to a happy, loving & secure home. I can’t stand it when other people say that I would want to have kids later on when I have no intentions to find a boyfriend & get married & have kids. I’m happy enough to be single without kids
I never wanted kids, but I would NEVER forgive someone who took away my CHOICE. My rights to choose, one way or another. It's in your bones, whether you want kids or not. No one can change that, but they feel perfectly free to interfere anyway.
From the few clips I’ve seen if this show, the medical characters have no problem violating the rights that exist in the real world. According to HIPAA laws, a doctor cannot discuss the condition of an adult or emancipated minor patient to anyone-including a parent, spouse, child, or any other caregiver-without consent of the patient.
My mom would've done me a favor if she had me sterilized at a young age like this. Now I live with the stress of not knowing what am I gonna do for my daughter when I'm gone, I don't know how to live on my own and can't support myself. She's only 2 and a half years old right now, another 16 and a half years to go and she's an adult.
This needs to be said because it still happens in the world. Ie FGM for one. But children are NOT property. They are not items you can modify like cars. Dont get me wrong kids are dumb. An average kid wouldnt know whats good for them but even they have rights
Exactly, all these comments saying this is barbaric... Which it is but hope everyone here is also in favor then of not circumcising too. Which is also wrong on so many levels.
Yeah, appendicitis is pretty easy. I am a first aid trained lifeguard, most things don't give you pain just in that area. I would never pretend to diagnose but when somebody suddenly gets severe cramps on one side and we have to pull them out of the water we always tell the EMTs that is what we think. Sometimes the person has taken in so much water they aren't making sense to the EMTs.
This in no way excuses or justifies what was done to the victim here. But back in the 60's A LOT of women were 'preemptively' or 'protectively' sterilized as a reaction to two things... the first was the practice of underage marriage [championed by Southern heroes Elvis Presley and Jerry Lee Lewis] and, a bit later, the whole hippie free love movement. Such activities were seen as a threat to the family and to society and 'wild' girls were often the victims. I know this because it almost happened to my mother.
it had nothing to do with Elvis or JERRY LEE they both wanted wifes who could have kids . it had to do if people thought you were mental sick disable such as deaf ,needed glasses ,mute or poor or they just hated you are somebody in your family or even better you would needed government benfits or your education level or if you were not married .this was done in northern cities in to the late 80s
@@jeanpresley1220 They married 14 year old children, Sparky. Lewis married is eff'ing **cousin** for God's sakes. That's child abuse... period. No excuses, no justifications, no allowances, it's pedophilia. You know, they got billboards in Louisiana and Alabama that read, "She's not your date, she's your daughter!" and a telephone number for an incest hotline. Feel free to look that up. So tell me again how this isn't a problem in the South. As for girls being from the North and being sterilized, I'm fully aware of that. My mother and I live in the Pacific Northwest and it nearly happened to her.
I remember a girl in high school who got pregnant. Her parents forced her to have an abortion and she was absolutely broken hearted. I didn't understand that she was grieving, but now I know.
Native American women were forcibly sterilized in a VERY similar way. They would go in for one procedure, not understand the paperwork and no one explain it to them, and wake up with tubal ligation or complete hysterectomy. It ended in 1974 with a court case showing most cases were unnecessary and could not prove patient consent. At its highest, 25% of native women in the US were forcibly sterilized. The impact it still has today is astronomical on the Native population. It was genocide by sterilization and thousands of native children who were wanted by their mothers were never born.
White women were as well, and black women, and the mentally ill, and the poor. Some people are monsters, and unfortunately they often find positions of political power.
This is the biggest problem I have with this show. Far too many times it presents instances where one party does something unforgivable and reprehensible, but then the show tries to smooth it over with some cheesy music and saccharine disingenuous forgiveness. It's very frustrating writing, and it almost makes me think that some of the writers on the staff of this program might be just a tiny bit morally impaired if they think these kinds of resolutions are appropriate.
This used to be a common practice in several European countries. Parents 'punished' their teenage daughters by having them sterilized. The governments went along with it, since they considered that the genetic material of disobedient girls was unnecessary anyway. And, no, I'm not talking about Nazi-Germany. In Switzerland, they were still doing this in the 70s.
Yeah…there’s no coming back from this one. I don’t care if that’s her mother. There’s no understanding or reasoning they could be given in this circumstance.
Even if she did this because of pressure from a judge, once her daughter was 18, she should be told the truth and allowed to reverse the procedure . Maybe mom wanted a built in slave for her entire life
As someone who can't have kids because I went through menopause at about 15, I can tell you that if I found out someone had purposely caused that I don't think I could ever forgive them. Even my own mom.
So sad. I understand why.. She felt so pressured. Didn't want her daughter in jail as was being threatened or pregnant extremely young and therefore kept in poverty. It wasn't the right choice, obviously, but it probably seemed like her only choice. Hurts for them both
I acknowledge the mother made the wrong choice, and that taking away her daughter’s ability to have kids is abuse. Although I am in no way defending her, I do empathize with the mother in this situation. Born into and living in poverty, and likely uneducated, she was convinced by an authority figure - a judge - this was her only and best option to protect the daughter she loved. I think her intentions do matter to some degree, as while the consequences of unknown forced sterilization are horrific, the mothers life-altering mistake wasn’t from malicious intent, but from motherly protection and love. It was the worst mistake and mother likely lived her whole life with this guilt, and again made the wrong decision not to tell her daughter out of fear of damaging their relationship irreparably. And believing nothing could be done whether her daughter knew the truth or not. Contextually we need to realize the impact poverty, lack of education, and societal factors which led the mother to wholeheartedly believe she was making the right choice. Culture as well. That’s why FGM still exists, also taking away women’s bodily autonomy, as well as abortion/contraception access. Raising women in certain religious communities also involves taking away bodily autonomy. Mothers unfortunately are taught and wholeheartedly believe many things that limit a daughter’s bodily autonomy, and do them from a place of love. The actions can be both morally/ethically wrong, while simultaneously acknowledging/understanding/empathizing with the mother’s intentions. Some say they wouldn’t be able to forgive their mother but I think forgiveness is possible The only way to stop these practices from happening to women, generationally from mother to daughter, is education and dismantling systems and practices that oppress women and deny their bodily autonomy + human rights. The ending to this is super sad. Mother listened to society pressure, thought she did the right thing to protect her daughter. Realized she made the worst mistake. Daughter finds out by accident, mother never found a way to tell her. And now who knows if she’ll be able to forgive her elderly mother before she passes. Daughter never got to have kids. Relationship may be irreparably damaged….
My mom is considering doing this to my sister who is severely autistic and has been harassed multiple times by men who want to take advantage of her obvious 'disorder'. She can't fend for herself, she's naive and trusts people too easily. My mom is afraid that she might actually be abused one day and she wants to protect her from having an unwanted child. On the one hand, I understand her concern. On the other, it doesn't feel right at all... I don't know how to feel.
My Mother and I had the same conversation about my brother, who lives in a group home and technically can date. He is not capable of taking care of himself, let alone another human.
4:10 - Please lady do NOT give me this altruistic BS. She more concerned about her own misery than she is about her daughter's life. She's more worried that her daughter will never forgive her than she is about her daughter's health. When those pains were going as she was being initially examined at 0:57 and claimed that her appendix had been removed when she was 14, right then and there mother should've spoken up and confessed it if her daughter's life and health were mother's first priority.
@@yumiloomerstorytime.4830 Give me an example. And remember I did say "Their own body." And this is not about the right to do something with your body that would hurt an innocent life inside of a body. That baby has a right too.
You commented something that was inaccurate. You said no one has the right to tell anyone what they should do with their own bodies. People use their bodies for violence every day.
Who ever the doctor was also needs prosecuting. What an awful thing to do to your own child. Using what you did as a young girl as the incentive is wrong on so many levels. You brought this woman into the world and no matter what difficulties you faced not ever should you have made her pay for it. If that was my mother nothing absolutely nothing would make me forgive you EVER. This is the part that men do not understand. Even if you've made the decision to not have children there is hardly any women who actually make sure they don't by going to get sterilised. Even when our child bearing years are over it makes a woman forlorn and a bit depressed for a while. But to have a mother who would do this is horrific, you denied her what you did or she wouldn't be here
If we take the mother at her word, it makes sense that she would do this. Given the story of her life, it’s understandable that she didn’t want that for her daughter. However, that is where my sympathy ends. She gave consent to an irreversible procedure behind her daughter’s back. She concealed that information for decades, & didn’t even admit to her guilt willingly. It’s one thing to want a better life for your child, but not at their own expense. Certainly not at the cost of their own autonomy. I get it. Teenagers are difficult. But there were other ways to go about it. Ethical & respectful ways that didn’t change the entire course of her daughter’s life without her knowledge.
Human and ethic ! While I was in a fertilization cycle at the hospital, i always saw another patient who really make everyone in the waiting room very very uncomfortable. The patient was definitely trisomie and had a physical handicap. Base on what i see, she might have a 8-10 years kid maturity. Her old parents had only her as a child and desperately want grand-kid and bring her to be inseminate. she doesn’t even what she was there for…sad.
Correction: inhumane and unethical. Force breeding or an underage human or any human against their will are both cruel and evil practices to do. If you don't think your child deserves the right to choose in the future, don't have kids.
I wasn't sterilized but my mother did have a doctor do a pap smear on me when I was a minor without my consent because she wanted a virginity check. I did not want be touching me but she threatened to hit me if I refused to let the doctor do it. And he did because he was greedy and wanted the money. I plan to sue both of them for assault
No, this is abuse. She took away her daughter’s bodily autonomy and never even had a conversation if that was what she wanted. There is no forgiveness to be had with such a betrayal.
Not to mention tubal ligation can sometimes be undone. Its rare but possible. The mother is beyond at fault here.
Who are you saying no too 🤣🤣🤣 it's a tv show...
No different than taking a woman's reproduction rights. Oh wait that is what the Supreme Court is doing right now.
@@jaxo5679 and of course, discussing tv shows implies they're real, right? 🤣🤣🤣
She could have put her on birth control instead
This was an actual case that happened in the 1930’s. A woman was about to come of age to have access to her late father’s inheritance, and her mother, who didn’t want her to have access to that money had convinced medical personnel that she was mentally incompetent and therefore deserved to be sterilized. Her mother poisoned her food, which led to stomach pain, and she was taken to the hospital. The woman was told her appendix had burst, and were going to “remove her appendix” when in reality they had her sterilized. The woman took her mother to court and it was a great big hubbub.
I remember reading about that. I think the daughter won or close to it
Do you know the name of the woman by any chance?
@@hwoodster4179 Ann Cooper Hewitt
She could only get her inheritance if she had kids. You forgot that part. Lol. She lost her case because what her mother did at the time was in fact legal.
Its really fucked up that the show clearly is inspired by the this real life incident but tries to make the mother sympathetic.
No matter what her mother’s intention was, it’s ILLEGAL. It’s so wrong. And after all those years not telling her. It’s sickening.
Unfortunately, it’s not illegal in some places, more so back in those days, but it is IMMORAL. To think that if her mother had confessed years before she might have been able to reverse the operation or try IVF or something, but now she’s too old. It so sad. It’s even worse that these things have actually happened in real life.
Its still legal in 4 states and not done openly as in the past but still done today. Funny thing is only 2 if the state's that is legal is on the south
It wouldn't have been when that woman was 14. If she's in her 50's when this episode aired you're looking at, at least 40 years ago from today. At that time sterilization was being used to prevent 'undesirables' from having children. People with Autism, mental illness, mental/physical disabilities, low IQ, Down syndrome, and yes, even rebellious teens and minorities were sterilized without their consent or knowledge.
Back then, eugenics was how society looked at things. Only the 'best' genetics should be allowed to breed.
And it was all not only perfectly legal but supported by the American Government. Even now, immigrant women and Native American Women are being sterilized against their knowledge.
Actually not illegal. It is legal in 31 states.
Why,we do it to animals all the time! We need major population control! I’m all for spay and neuter for humans too!
I know they're trying to make it seem like the mom was just protecting her daughter and wants what's best for her, but I disagree 100%. She did it to control her "wild teenager" of a daughter, and she begged the doctors not to tell the daughter because she didn't want to face the consequences.
this was and still is very common in the south!!!!. I
I question if the daughter was wild since she could just as easily put her on birth control
That's supposedly the same reason Rosemary Kennedy was lobotomized.....though her parents never had to face the music this side of the grave.
@@beverlyarcher3744 She couldn't, actually. In the southern US, it is considered morally wrong for females to use birth control. This is because the south still clings to sexist religious dogmas that tell young girls they deserver to be raped and impregnated for doing so little as wearing *SHORTS IN THE SUMMER.* They see the female body as a sex object, and refuse to see girls and women as people. If the mother had put her daughter on birth control, she would have faced major abuse from the religious. But sterilization is always acceptable, AS LONG AS it is done without consent. A female must never not want children, they must instead have no-children forced onto them if it is seen as the "right" thing to do.
@@beverlyarcher3744 Uh not back then no. Clearly from their ages she was a teen in a time when birth control was probably just coming to market and not easily available in backwoods towns.
I think people don’t realize that the mom said “the judge said she has 2 options or go to jail”. If you look up the history of inmates or women who have gone to prison, the jail system actually gave the women the option of getting their tubes tied if they didn’t want prison time. This was a practice in CA up until mid 2000s, look it up. The mother is at fault but I think this episode wanted to bring to light this hidden barbaric secret of our prison system
That is completely different. The Women were given a choice. They made their decisions as Women ie Adults and knew what the consequences of their decision were.
A fourteen year old Girl being unknowingly sterilised without consultation is Criminal. She had no choice, no say in the matter.
The women actually said the judge gave her 2 choices to be able to keep her, like she said they were from the mountains and the young gurl would get in trouble so for her to not be takin away and placed in foster care and also for her to not reproduce any others possibly trouble like herself they gave the mom the choices either we take her away or u allow her to be sterilized, they did that allot back then with poor folk or criminals or single mothers on welfare or to those they just deemed feeble minded
Exactly! The mother was forced to make this decision by an abusive judge.
Exactly!!! The Mother was tricked and bullied, so she gave in to his demand. The judge treated her daughter like a stray cat that needed to be spaded before being released from the pound.
@@stephanieyee9784 Not true, if you do not know the difference between lawful and legal you will be treated as property. The Mother did not know and was bullied in to medically mutilated her daughter as it was outside of her full consent in exchange for her release.
The worst part is that tubal ligations can be reversed (as can vasectomies). So her mom took away her chance to have children not only by having her sterilized, but also by continuing to lie about it all those years.
I didn't know that tubal ligations could be reversed.
*IN SOME CASES
It can't work for everyone, don't spread false information.
@@sarahrobertson634 in theory, in practice it often can't be.
Just as in theory cutting the tubes can be reversed as well by stitching things back together but in practice it's not always going to work.
Or in theory they can reattach a severed limb, but in practice it's iffy.
@@sarahrobertson634 . I think they said she has clips, so they could take the clips out
@@DirtyPrancing most tubal ligations use the clips, and are still irreversible in 90% of cases.
This is so deeply wrong, i lost my ability to have kids due to childhood cancer, the grief and rage you feel off and on throughout your whole life, there is no way she'd just immediately forgive someone who did that to her and lied her whole life about it knowing she wanted kids. I would choose violence.
What kind of violence…?
@@hannabobo4187 it was just a reference to cersei's quote from game of thrones.
I think it might be shock. She would need time to process the emotions. She might feel anger in a few weeks.
It's a TV show
@@jessyvalentine7492 Oh okay.
To those who think this is an exaggerated senario, up until the 1980's many poor women were forced into being sterilised and many were unknowingly sterilised. It was a rather common occurring thing and very lucrative for the hospital and doctors performing them. Remember often times truth is indeed stranger than fiction.
1980’s where?
@@MsHall0000 The United States....especially in the special needs population. The females in institutions were sterilized. Most were given hysterectomies, so 1: they would not get pregnant and 2: So staff wouldn't have to deal with their monthly cycles. Look into the history of medical procedures for birth control on women.
This is still true today in the U.S. prison system!!!
someone quoted a case where this happened in the 30s, where the mother said the daughter was too mentally ill, and that was still reason enough they would do it without patient consent. Also, it was done to poor women until the 80s,
@@MsHall0000 I know it happened to poor women in North Carolina for decades and they did the same thing in Puerto Rico..
If my own mother did this to me, I would never forgive her no matter what.
Same. She would die unforgiven. She'd be forgiven over my dead body.
I wouldn’t care. I don’t want any kids but it is messed up to do that against one’s will .
@@weebpotato2366 I agree. I wouldn't care about not being able to have kids, but the decision is mine to make. Doing a procedure on me without my consent is invasive and a huge breach of trust.
This is HORRIBLE! How selfish of the mother. That daughter trusted her.
@Jamie bryant I wouldn't go to her funeral either.
I love the image of a mom tricking her daughter and secretly getting her tubes tied at 14 when I can't even get my ovaries removed at 28 with a significant family history of ovarian cancer because "what if I want kids someday?"
Literally this. The world is so fricking backwards. 🙄 A 14 year old can unwillingly have her tunes tied but a grown woman can't choose to remove her ovaries?
My little sister has a similar issue. A law was passed in my southern city about this. They refuse to do a tubal surgery unless the woman has more than 3 kids or is over 30. My 28-year-old sister has a uterus that looks upside-down in shape and tilted slightly. She has had one kid and he was premature because of it. She wants no more kids and doctors have warned her about having more. She is taking all precautions as she counts down the next 2 years. Go out of state if you have to. That's what my sister has been looking into.
And people want to argue that a child can choose their gender and have a sex change before 18..but you can’t even get your ovaries removed at 28 with a significant family history of ovarian cancer because “what if you wants kids some days?”
I guess it makes SOME sense. Assuming there's no evidence that you have any cancer yet?
Isn't it typically policy for doctors to not remove perfectly healthy organs? I know it's scary, but unless you've shown signs of cancer, I can understand why doctors would hesitate to do that. The whole, 'What if you want kids?" just sounds like a poor attempt to placate you, honestly.
The real reason is most likely the slippery slope. They can't make a habit of removing healthy organs from people just because patients want them removed. There's only so much time and resources that doctors have. They need to prioritize the people who need surgeries due to serious health conditions.
If they make an exception for one person who wants to have surgery "just in case I get cancer", then they open the door to everyone being allowed to do the same. And suddenly, there's tons of people taking up doctors' time and resources who are not in any serious medical danger.
Plus, there's also the fact that such a major surgery is quite risky. You could easily die during a surgery like that. A doctor might see that as an unnecessary risk when there's no evidence you are in an danger of cancer from your ovaries yet.
(But again, all this is assuming there are no signs of cancer yet. I take it all back if it turns out there's good reason to believe your ovaries are already cancerous. In that case, seems utterly ridiculous for them to try to prevent the surgery.)
I know what you mean. My daughter is 22, and autistic, and has epilepsy. My daughter and I had a serious discussion about having children, and both of us knew that she could barely take care of herself, let alone a baby. When we approached her doctor about having her sterilized, her refused.So, for now, we just had an IUD put in her. She had to go through surgery to have it put in, and it was painful for her. This was 2 years ago. In 3 years, we will have to put her through another painful surgery to have it taken out, and a new one put in. It infuriates me, that she has to go through 2 painful surgeries when 1 man thinks he knows my daughter and her disabilities better than I do!!!
They've been doing tubal ligation reversal since the 70's. This episode apparently came out in 2015. If someone had told this lady what really had been done to her she would have actually had a chance at having children. That's the saddest part.
It is. But reversal is frequently impossible.
in most cases you canning reverse tubal ligation
She’s too old to get it reversed :(
@@MsTinkerbelle87 OP is saying if someone told her earlier it could have been possible
You cant get it reserved!!!
Don’t give a single flip what this woman’s reasoning or so-called justification is. What she did to her daughter was straight up evil.
I mean it sounds like it wasn't really up to the mother. Forced sterilization is a legal thing that happens, unfortunately. Lying about it, yes, that's evil. Especially because they used clips which are reversible in 90% of cases, so when she was older and more responsible, finished school and whatnot, she could have reversed it, but it looks like she's too old now
and another stupid femenist not paying attention to when she said the judge said be sterilized or go to jail
up until the early 2000's many states actually forced this as an option on young women. it was pretty much the justice system telling them to be sterilised
It was playing god or a major exercise in narcissism.
In mythology, Narcississ was obsessed with his reflection and the control over that. Outside of just "all about me," Narcissists view other people as reflections of their self-worth, everything they do and accomplish is given to the narcissist, and people are not individuals with needs and wants independent from the narcissists.
Here, the mother thoughtlessly sterilized her own daughter from what other people spoke about the girl, leaving the dynamic between them permanently mother and daughter, and the only expansion or alterations would be from the mother's initiative.
@@geoffreyedgson7875Would it have been better if the mother had told the judge no and let her daughter be sent to jail? Jail is not a good place for a teenager. The judge didn't give the mother a choice. No, the mom probably should have explained to the daughter at some point what happened and why she had to make the decision (which was basically forced on her by the judge) she did. It's really easy for people to condemn the mother but that's how the judicial system worked for poor people.
My husband's tribe was victims to extended campaigns of involuntary sterilization. Things only came to be revealed in the very early 1990's, when a whole generation of healthy young brides who wanted to regrow the tribe just could not get pregnant by any way shape or form. So, naturally, they started going to fertility doctors, and they got tested, then the docs told them "Well of course you can't get pregnant, your tubes are tied " but they had NEVER gone in for that surgery. Naturally that revelation touched off a whole lot of local ruckus. When the doctors were caught and questioned why they did such horrible thing, they replied "Because it's better for them if they're never allowed to breed". Literally exactly like they would speak of spaying a dog. It was sickening.
In her generation, MIL was one of only very few women who could have babies. As the families got to talking, it came out that Her mother's generation and grandmother's generation had also been subject to the practice, that any time any native girl or woman went in for ANY anaesthetized surgery, she was surgically sterilized as part of the procedure, and never informed of it.
Damn, that's heartbreaking.
What tribe?
more recent some asylum seekers in detention in Florida were " sterilized" against their knowledge. more aweful treatment of " brown" women of color.
That's monstrous and genocide.
And this will happen again. I fear for my daughters. If my husband and I do not raise them with politically correct philosophy and now that racism is actively being encouraged from the highest levels of government, this is a constant threat
LMAO One scene ends with the mother saying to the doctor, “please don’t tell her” and the next scene begins with the daughter saying “sterilized?!”
The woman with appendicitis is the patient. If anyone discovered the woman wasn't informed about here own medical conditions by her own doctors, they'd be vulnerable to a a massive lawsuit and possibly losing their licenses.
@@pullybungieharder Yes, I understand that the mother was basically asking the doctor to do something that would make her vulnerable to a massive lawsuit and possibly cause her to lose her license. My point is she asked politely.
It’s more than just legal liability, it’s basic moral decency. The mother was asking the doctors to become willing accomplices in the cover-up - to knowingly participate in the ongoing violation of another person’s rights.
The daughter’s doctors have a duty to the daughter, as their patient. And she has a basic right to the truth about her own body. So ultimately, the mother’s preference to continue the deception is irrelevant.
The patient needed to know why her appendix bursted and why she needed an emergency appendectomy. She needs to know that the previous procedure she had was actually a tubal ligation and not an appendectomy. This is important info for the patient to know in case she has another complication and/or procedures in the future. Not knowing this info could lead to misdiagnosis, delay in care, and can cause harm/death to the patient. Most importantly, it is simply unethical to keep information about the patient's own body from the patient, especially if they're capable of making decisions.
It goes beyond protecting our licenses and preventing a lawsuit. It is about being a patient advocate and putting their best interest first.
How they would explain it?
"OOOOH, your apendicis bursted here, no one here know why, buuuuut, you had apendicis until now."
And the other surgery? If not appendices, what was that?
Until the 1980's, a lot of states were forcing minors or anyone that was declared "feeble-minded" to be sterilized and the parents had no say over it.
Funny enough, now there’s HEAPS of “feeble minded” folks out there 🤡
And now kids can choose their gender without parents consent.
@@-MaryPoppins-people like the Kennedy girl could be considered feeble minded and forcibly sterilized. The Kennedy’s just decided that a lobotomy was better.
Those pre menopause were also on birth control once available. No choice.
@@StephanieBrooklyn not exactly. There is a labyrinthine legal/psychiatric/medical process that has to be done in order to change gender.
Legally, parents cannot be considered in gender dysmorphia because of HIPAA. If a teenage girl just asked what the difference between an IUD or birth control pill is, there is no reason to involve her parents if she's just asking for her own future knowledge. If a kid who only wants answers to questions about sexuality/gender, then the same rules apply; a doctor will tell them facts, not their own personal feelings.
Wouldn't it have been easier to teach her about protection and contraception instead of that operation?
Yeah, like getting her an IUD or the one in the arm or the every three month shot or a birth control patch… there’s so many other choices
The story took place 30 + years ago. She was poor and the Judge threatened the mum that he would jail the girl . So she was kind of forced at that point. But she could have undone the procedure later in life if she had told her daughter the truth. So that's her fault.
@@AledgamingtamilMaybe the mom didn't have the money for the operation.
Contraception was only for married women 30 odd years ago and only with her husbands consent.
Contraception is extremely accessible today yet unplanned pregnancy is about 40% in the US. It doesn't appear that hours of sex education or the availability of cheap to free contraception does anything to instill responsibility in rebellious young women so it is doubtful that contraception availability would have mattered.
One of my friends claims her great aunt was sterilized as a teenager while in a mental health facility without her or her family's consent.
it happened a lot actually
That does happen back in the day. Any women going into the Mental Health facility would almost be sterilized to prevent the 'madness' from spreading to the next generation.
Ahh the Missippi Appendectomy
Look up the American Eugenics lawsuit
@@kristingallo2158 Thank you. I will.
My neighbor did something similar to her daughter..she actually did get pregnant at 14 and in her mothers rushed attempt to ’fix’ the mistake her daughter made she damaged her uterus and her daughter was never able to get pregnant again. It caused her immense pain and led her to abuse drugs for some 20 years after. Parents can be so selfish..
My grandmother’s sister was involuntary sterilized when she went in to get her appendix removed as a teen. Simply because she was poor, and her mother told the doctor she wasn’t sure how she was going to pay the bill. So when he went into surgery, he sterilized my great-aunt at the same time. Didn’t tell the mother until after it was done. Rural MN, 1930s.
This is pretty messed up. I had sort of the opposite situation…I tried to get a hysterectomy (With parental consent) at 17, was turned down. Tried again at 18, turned down. Tried at 21, turned down, tried at 25 and was told I would have to get my (At the time) fiancé’s written permission. By the time I was 30, my circumstances had changed drastically and I no longer had (And still don’t have) health insurance, but long story short, I was diagnosed with PMDD at 14 and PCOS at 17, and doctors all knew it would mean a lifetime of suffering, but they were unwilling to consider a hysterectomy for me bc I “might want kids one day”. Not only did I never want children, I explained to them that if I wanted to have kids, EVER, adoption was the only choice I would ever make. So, now I occasionally have cysts rupture and black out from pain leaving me immobilized for days from pain, I still don’t want kids, and women have even less bodily autonomy now than they did 20 years ago. Yay America!
I'm so sorry. 😞 It is seriously so messed up how doctors don't give us any real choices over our bodies. There is SO much change we need to implement in America.
I'm sorry, written permission from your fiancé??? What in the world?? So sorry that you had to experience all of that!
@@FG56710 yeah. That’s not the only reason I ended my engagement, but it’s a solid reason I’ve never considered getting engaged or married. No matter how far we come, a woman marrying a man will always come second. Car salesmen will always address your husband first. People at weddings or bars or whatever will ask your husband’s permission to dance with you. Even if you make the most money, everyone will call him the “Head of the household”, etc. you’re owned by your dad until he walks you down and aisle to hands you to your new owner. Women don’t have their own last names. They have their father’s last name, or if they had a single mom, their grandfather’s last name. I think that experience really changed a lot of things for me, I won’t even live with someone now. I am the head of my household only bc I am the only one living in it. I hate how true that is.
@@Miss_Camel It's disgusting. Someday women will truly be equal.
@@Miss_Camel I'll take "shit that never happened" for 800, Alex
I get where the mother is coming from when it comes down to her daughter becoming pregnant at such a young age. Any mother fears that for their child. However taking away the whole option of being able to have any kids, any kid at all is far beyond wrong, abuse. I can only imagine if she tried to get pregnant in the past and thought that something was wrong with herself when it was never her fault at all. It was all her mother. Thanks for uploading.
Getting pregnant at such a young age isn’t the worst thing to happen I totally get no one wants their child to have a baby young buuut people act like it’s the ending of the world when it happens
So tying her tubes at 14 is somehow the better outcome?
@@miimonalisa but that wasn't the option. It was prison or this. And tubal ligations were ALSO performed in prisons btw.
@@leonamay8776 Yeah that’s just absolutely ridiculous
the judge said, jail time or give up kids, and yea have it secretly done because we know your daughter wants kids at 15 years old so she can lose them to CPS all because shes a juvenile criminal, or hear me out, the mother actually did this to protect her daughter from jail time, and was scared her daughter would hate her for saving her from a life of imprisonment, which from what was said, yea that would have happened,
The judge was at fault here. He gave the mother an ultimatum or else her daughter would have gone to jail. Also the surgeon who operated was responsible for doing this without the child's knowledge. The mom seems undereducated, and was influenced the by the judge.
Thank you finally someone who understands her predicament
It was a common option in several states in the past.
Typically in cases after more than one child has been removed from custody with repeat failed rehab addiction parents
Once she was in state custody she likely would have had been sterilized anyway.
Indigenous women are fighting this law right now in the senate and at the human rights commission. They did it up to and past 2006. It may still be in law as I dont think its been struck down yet. No settlement or verdict has been reached. It is a very real story for some women.
This was being done in 2017-18 to women who crossed the southern border.
@@Wednesdaywoe1975 A woman getting sterilized after committing a crime doesn't instill as much sympathy from me over a woman getting sterilized for being born the wrong color.
@@miceltusav88 - racist troll!
@@InitialPC By the way, this stolen country took parts of Mexico too. So if anything, you have no clue if any of those refugees actually have forgotten roots in the same place you feel they are outlaws,criminals...for suffering from colonialism and imperialism.
@@taw8963 And the Mexicans stole that land from the natives who then stole that land from someone else and so on.
The natives were not this one homogenous group that are the ultimate victims, they were hundreds of warring nations constantly torturing and brutalizing each other for more territory.
Don't go "oh boo hoo stolen land" when you don't even fucking know who originally owned that land.
And chances are, illegal immigrants at the southern border are not spanish princesses who have claim to the continent.
I know this is fictional, but I feel there are people who would rather sterilize their children than have the conversation about safe sex and prevention. That’s corrupt and absurd.
Unfortunately, its still a taboo topic. Especially in the time and place the mother lived in.
Did you miss the part where a judge ordered her sterilization? It had noting to do with protection or safe sex.
The road to hell is paved with “good intentions”, but we have to live with those consequences. The rage and vengeance I would have if my mother did something like this to me, I’d probably try to take some sort of legal action & never speak to her again.
I can't imagine someone deciding at FOURTEEN you will never be allowed kids. All 14 year olds are idiots, it doesn't mean they won't make a good parent at 28...38...48. Taking that much of a huge life decision away from someone should actually be considered torture 😰
You'd have no legal recourse if a judge ordered it.
@@purplebean8989 need to break this to you but there's still places where that's the case. It is very common in Michigan and even some parts of Ohio that if you lose custody of your children to Department of Children Services for whatever reason they will decide you can no longer keep any child you have after that. And they will threaten you with that to make you sign over that child. Michigan has been known to go across state lines to remove a newborn born to someone who lost a child to the system at 15 who's now 30 married completely different place they don't care we said you are never allowed to have a child again you aren't allowed to ever have a child again. There have been people who have fled to Canada to try to escape those rulings because they have completely turned their lives around and are now fit parents and want to start their lives over and Michigan authorities have gotten warrants to remove those children from their parents and have the parents thrown in jail for contempt of court. It still happens. It has happened to full grown adults much less children
Unbelievable. It's one thing to worry about your teenager's future, it's another to put your boot in there and abuse their human rights like that.
I’m about to start watching this because these youtube clips have me in a choke hold
Me to
What does it mean "choke hold" ? 😁
@@babi9784 it means your kinda addicted like every time I see a clip I HAVE to watch it
Same lmao
Like same - I never watched med series but these clips are interesting lol
The judge was the driving force behind this decision. Both are victims of this matter!
Thank you! Somebody else actually gets it!
The way she said ‘What’s done is done’.. now they’re is no way forgiveness will come easy and the mom seriously messed up! That’s very sad
Such a visceral betrayal on the part of her mother. The fact that the mother had her daughter sterilized forcefully is ridiculous.
She had no other option
@@ashleytrout7452that's a lie
@@psychedelic.dreamer it was surgery or prison, take your pick
Prison. 13 years old I would’ve chosen to go to jail and still be able to have children later in life
@@threelittlegingers8290 a former prisoner who missed a proper education and holds no valuable skills to any employer. Not much of a life could be made out of that
I find it amazing how so many ignore the fact that a Judge is the one who threatened the Mother with these options she had no proper counsel to see beyond. She too was young and poor, and did not know how to get her troubled child out of detention. Yes, it was a terrible choice but she didn't know she had other choices. Poverty & Ignorance are the most malignant diseases. The comment section continues to prove the level of ignorance still going around. People in poverty are abused and manipulated by the Injustice system every day and yet most of you will continue to ignore it and blame the victim for being robbed if their rights. May someone take empathy on you when you need it the most.
She should have asked her daughter what she wanted to do. Might have said she'd rather be able to have kids.
There's no excuse for taking away a child's bodily autonomy or an adult's. Ignorance and poverty are not excuses for poor decisions. They are just the explanation.
A tubo ligation can be undone. she could have told her when the daughter wanted to have kids about the operation. It could have been reversed.
@@disgracedgrace7613 keep in mind what dr 100 said about the judge threatening her is also into play. This was the 1980s probably at the time when this happened and we both know that the justice system back then wasn’t that good. Not saying our modern justice system is perfect but compared to justice systems we had for centuries before today’s, ours is a improvement. And she said it herself that this judge practically had a lot of power over the county so what this judge did was use said power to force the mother to make two choices whether or not the daughter was aware. Mother isn’t perfect but not all of it was her fault. If she didn’t do this the daughter would have been in prison.
@@disgracedgrace7613 Yeah, I don't know why the stupid woman didn't hire a Yale lawyer to fight for her kid. That's what you'd do, isn't it, hire the most expensive lawyer from the top law school in the country. You know how to get yourself one of those, don't you?
What the mother did was absolutely wrong and abusive, but rather than just blaming her I feel like it should highlight the cycle of poverty especially in rural communities. She struggled herself having her daughter at a young age and was told by a judge that she only had two options - have her sterilized or she’d end up in jail. She was essentially backed into a corner and probably felt like choosing to tie her daughters tubes was the only way to guarantee she would not go through the same struggles. The choice the mother made was the wrong one but I feel empathy for her as well as the daughter.
Same. I know everyone is bashing the mother, who made the wrong choice, but I also empathize with her too. The mother’s intentions do matter in this case, she did it to protect her daughter because she loves her.
The mother was born into poverty and I’m assuming relatively uneducated. Then to be given an extreme ultimatum by an authority figure - a judge, im sure she was convinced it was the right choice.
Her biggest mistake was not telling her daughter sooner, although im sure it was very hard to find the right time to tell her. Like if her daughter is crying how she hasn’t been able to get pregnant
I’m sure the mother had been struggling to figure out how to tell her daughter who she loves, without destroying their relationship irreparably
And if she’s uneducated, she may not have known there could be other options for her daughter to have a child biologically, besides adoption
So I can see how the mother would’ve had an extremely hard time deciding when or if to tell her daughter. Especially if it made no difference in her daughters ability to have a kid. It’s likely she’s spent her whole life with this pain and regret
She deserves to be poor lol
Blame the judge, not the mom!
that’s FUCKING disgusting of that mother. She WANTED kids. she could’ve had them. some people can’t have kids at all. some ppl don’t want them. but this girl literally wanted to be a mother. that’s so sad, the fact this happens in real life.
(btw she didn’t even talk to her daughter at 15. about it. wtf)
That's because she's a terrible mother and an even worse person. She's too sick to be saved from salvation, and needs to be eliminated in bloodshed.
I get Is a show but Is ANY of that even almost legal?! A Judge told her to sterilize her daughter to keep her out of jail?? How in the nick knack paddy whack does that work?
Corruption. They did say the judge was so powerful and influential he “almost ran the town”
No. It would never happen.
@@commondirtbagz7130 Well the USA has a long history of involuntary sterilizations.
@@commondirtbagz7130 this episode is based, like many other episodes, on actual events. Learn some history about involuntary sterilization.
@@AB-mx1de I know about it dude, but I don’t know why you keep using past cases that don’t have precedent anymore.
As someone whose appendix actually did rupture when they were 12, the pain is excruciating to the point that she probably would’ve blacked out rather than just throwing up on the doctor shoes.
Mine ruptured in my mid thirty's ( about 7 years ago), and all I did was throw up, make an inappropriate joke so someone had some past words to share if I didn't make it, and then lights out till it was over.
There can be relief when they rupture, too, though (my dad’s ruptured 3 days before they diagnosed it, because his abdominal pain had mostly gone away when it did, so they thought his fever and vomiting couldn’t be from appendicitis). Different people have different experiences. I’m sorry you went through that and I’m really glad you’re okay.
She ignored her daughter's bodily autonomy and crossed basic boundaries
The mama is the bad guy here
No the county did that, if she went to jail I am pretty sure the Judge would have done it regardless.
This was over 40 years ago and things were alot different than they are now, especially in backwater counties.
@@WizelBalan It doesn't matter
It's still wrong no matter how you slice it. Period.
@@DragonGoddess18 you say it doesn't matter but what choice did the mother have? She was being threatened by the judge that she either lose her child or get her tubes tied. Remember she's a mother she didn't want to lose her child and she was probably too poor to leave the town so she really had no choice but to do that. Now her keeping it from her daughter I dont agree with but this lady did not want to lose her daughter even though she was struggling so don't say "no matter how you slice it still wrong" if you can't even consider her situation
@@watermelonbun7069we always have a choice…
@@WizelBalan You're right, but there are a lot of simple-minded people in this comment section who only view things in black and white.
Seeing people say she did the right thing is alarming. Some of you people probably shouldn't have kids if you think that. Be alarmed. Be scared for your child but taking away their bodily autonomy should never be an option. Period.
These ppl that hurt someone bad enough to go to the hospital, and are the ones to actually take them to the hospital is craziness to me
I had my first child at 20, and the doctors doing surgery tried to force me to get a hysterectomy since I needed a c-section, if it wasn't for my mom being there, I wouldn't have the children I have now, some doctors force this on their female patients even now a days, its cruel.
And women who don’t want kids gotta wait 30 days and to be reminded “are YOU sure? What about the husband?”
I always find it hilarious when I hear an Avea ventilator alarm go off when no one is ventilated anytime a patient starts having their vitals tank.
My dad's mother did the same thing to one of my aunts. This particular aunt would have made a wonderful mother but she never got the chance. My grandmother had 14 pregnancies and 12 surviving children. They were from the mountains of Kentucky too.
@ShAnTi adopting is one of the hardest things to do
@ShAnTi an option that’s very very hard to get approved for , at least in America. Fostering is a bit easier the get into.
@Micheal Murphy I am from Harlan County Kentucky but live in Indiana
@virginiathompson7978 I'm from Science Hill in Pulaski County. But Daddy moved us to Melbourne, (Melboring), FL in 66. I can't stand FL, would have loved to move back home but none of my kids want to leave😢.
That's disgusting, I've heard about stuff like that being done. No one should have the power to do that without consent.
Is this even legal? Unless it is a life-or-death situation, I don't believe any parent or guardian should have the right to alter their child's reproductive potential. That's just horrible!
EDIT: Look, I feel for the mother. I just think she could have handled the situation better in any number of ways. A kindness now can turn into a cruelty later on. The mother not only sterilized her child, but never told her the truth! Regardless, parental consent on matters of child reproduction and underage/child marriage should absolutely be ILLEGAL. I honestly did not know that these things were legal in America. It boggles my mind.
She didn't glamorize the decision, hell she lived the life of a teen mother. She was pushed into a corner and picked a lesser evil so to speak. I don't agree with the decision or condone it but It is also unfair to not look at it holistically. Would you let your child be a teen mother with likely an absentee father for the kid and on top of that in and out of Jail?
@@triplemoyagames4195 I'm probably going to get a lot of pushback for this, but to me, sterilization is not the lesser of 2 evils. It's taking away someone's future. (Yes, I know adoption is always an option, but it can be costly and challenging to adopt. Plus, I don't care what anyone says...it's not the same as carrying and giving birth to your own biological child.) The mother did what was the most convenient for her and her daughter. At least, that is the way I look at it.
@@melissasammy6702 No trust me, I doubt I'd make the same decision, you're talking to someone who if possible would want upwards of 10 children, so it's obvious my fertility is one of my most important things to me.
With that being said, I simply can see where the mother is come from. Life is hell as a teen mother, let alone a single teen mother at that. So I can understand why the Mom would do anything to prevent her child ending up the same way, if not, worse than her. The mother chose the option she thought was neccesary, plus we can only assume the pressure she felt from the judge and such. It's easier to judge with hindsight and when we aren't in that situation.
This was also around 30 to 40 years ago (not sure how old the daughter is) so times were different
@Adelphia She lived in the rural south likley in the 70's and knowing American healthcare, I doubt it was available. Like I said I don't condone her decision, going off the story, the mother was under duress. She didn't want her daughter to end uo like her. We don't know the full circumstances. Its always easier with hindsight
It is implied that a judge told the mom to do it if that is the case than it is a serious miscarriage of justice.
This happened to my brother's ex girlfriend... she's older (in late 40s or 50s i think?) and when she was young her parents had a doctor "fix" her against her will, so she was never able to have children.
Why do the crazy people get these procedures yet us who are CF can rarely get sterilized
@@velvetdarksoul8741 this is not a good thing. Medical rape is still rape.
Back in the 70s and before (mostly back water counties of the USA) if a girl was deemed overly promiscuous the court could order the girl to be sterilized, married, or leave that county. Many people choose to give their children a bad stomach ache and say that it was appendicitis.
So disgusting. Especially if they never told the adult child.
And yet I’m sure the same preventive measures weren’t given to the ‘promiscuous’ boys. Absolutely sick.
Sadly this still happens today...when working at a group home for special needs adults, there was a 35 year old female- very high functioning but severe developmental delays and behavioral issues....well she was a larger girl and had a larger chest the mother convinced her to get a breast reduction, this occurred after she was found to be taken advantage of by men she was meeting online...the mother had her tubes tied while under for the breast reduction. The mother then went on to convince the daughter that it was the best thing for her because she "could never care for a child and children are a lot of work"...whenever the subject of children were brought up, the daughter would say the exact comments her mother had indoctrinated her with.
This mother was a piece of shit. It was sad to watch. She constantly criticized her, told her she was fat and would try and restrict her food (even putting a lock on the fridge because she would steal food).
I cared for sisters whose father had them sterilized in the 80s.
Yay, eugenics
I don't see how this is really forgivable, but also, there would have been other options that would have similar rates of preventing pregnancy and would have been also 100% reversible, like an iud or arm implants, for example.
I also can't say for certain as I have not seen the episode, however, I get the vague feeling that somehow forced sterilization and lying to your daughter for her entire life is acceptable, but abortion, or giving up a baby for adoption if the daughter had gotten pregnant would not be. This is a mess!
those are newer not as common . so at the time they were put in it wasnt an option
@@HosCreates I don't know. I did a quick check, and at least according to Wikipedia, copper IUD's have been around and in-use since the 1960s, with the technology going back further, although use may have been more limited. Besides, these are examples. Birth control pills have also been around for a long time, and would have been another option. Given this takes place in the US, and judging by the possible respective age of the daughter, there would have been other options besides permanent sterilization at the time of when she was 14 years old. I can't speak for other parts of the world, however. I'd also be happy to do more digging or provide more quality resources to confirm anything, if needed.
While options may have been available in the timeline, the mom stated they were poor. Birth control flexibility has always been available to the rich. It's the poor that have never been able to access it.
@@ChaniBethyPooPoo She was poor and living in a rural community, as well as being pressured by a judge. Other options would have been difficult or not enough to appease that judge.
Oh, and by the way, Nikki Berns, this still only the 21st century.
I think I heard birth control pills used to be only allowed for women who were married, and could carry a heavy level of taboo due to attitudes toward premarital sex being very negative. I feel like I can see how covering up a sterilization under the guise of a different medical procedure, which allows you to keep things quiet, would be seen as preferable to trying to argue getting access to a recurring prescription that will carry stigma with it
Anyways that seems like a pretty good motivator to make sure options are available to allow these types of situations to be dealt with in a better, less damaging manner
Psychology and psychiatry as professions get dragged for historic flaws but social workers were the architects of eugenics and deeming people "feeble minded" to sterilize them.
This is actually legal, but I can't imagine a doctor who would agree to do it.
Sourthren doctors are a different breed. They will do this a 'Wild child' to stop teenage pregantcy, but will refuse a c-section becuse 'if god wanted a baby born that was, he would of put a zipper there.'
it happened to a lot of people without any consent from any parties, it still happens, but usually to people of color (it used to be basically routine to sterilize native women during other procedures, it's a tool of genocide)
Yeah I have a family with a bunch of OBGYN in it. Considering the time frame we’re talking, yes there absolutely would have been a number of southern docs who would have done so. Surgery has a really unfortunate history.
plenty of doctors would do it, especially in deeply religious communities.
Just look at the hordes of doctors performing medically dubious, if not outright needless, procedures for religious or purely financial reasons.
Things like circumcision (on both boys and girls) are nothing short of mutilation and are hardly ever needed (the ONLY need for it in men is in case of severe inflammation of the penis that can't be treated by medication, in effectively amputating the infected tissue for example).
Southern men. Need I say more?
I know how that feels because I went through something similar. My dad manipulated me into getting a tubal ligation when I was 19 because I was disabled even tho i wanted kids.
So wrong. So sorry he did that to you. It is abuse.
I'm so sorry. It is unfortunately often irreversible. :(
Eugenics?
I'm so sorry
Abled bullshit, man. Sadly, what your dad did is still legal in 31 states, thanks to the Supreme Court decision of Buck v. Bell. It was decided in 1927 that forced sterilization of disabled people is constitutional, and no one has explicitly overturned it. Stack that with the repeal of Roe v. Wade, and disabled people are stripped twofold of reproductive autonomy in this country.
Sterilizing an underage child should be illegal even if the parents give consent (maybe it is nowadays, I don’t know)
Would that count for the tranz kids 🤔 most of them won't have kids after they change then want to change back to the original sex.
If my mother **EVER** did that to me, I’d **NEVER** speak to her again; much less forgive her. Somethings you just can’t forgive.
Sadly this isn’t uncommon in the south and small towns. During the eugenics movement they would do any people they saw as undesirables such as disabled, blacks, mentally delayed etc. and force them to get sterilizations mostly women some men it was horrible. These were not adults also they were as young as 13. Sometimes done without the parents permission.
Regardless of the intention behind what this woman did, it was wrong. Period. She was a child and should have been allowed to become an adult and make the decision for herself.
Lol when your native loots of reservations and places had mandatory sterilization especially in clinics when people were pregnant or seeking abortions etc. Yes, this shit has happened a lot to a lot of people in the US and probably still happens in places.
i always wanted kids but i was told recently that i am infertile but i found out it was caused by my meds see i was in and out of the hospital for suicidal thoughts because of some personal things going on at home and i was put on a mood stabilizer i was never told by anyone that one of the side affects can be infertility but they told my family i still havent forgiven them for not letting me have a say bc now i will never have kids and it breaks my heart
that would make no sense for a judge to give that choice to the mother 😭
Judges and laws back in her day were much different. Also everything thing had cocaine and cancer in it, so bad choices are bound to be made by people of power.
May have something to do with that mama was unmarried and had a baby which was big time frowned upon in the area as well as most of the USA. Unwed mothers were the lowest of lows. Single mothers of this day get treated with more respect than single mothers of that time.
Yeah it does, corruption exists everywhere
A judge who "practically ran the county" was probably corrupt up to his eyeballs, even if he thought it was for good.
A poor single mother with barely an education would listen to someone in authority. That judge preyed upon that poor woman and fed into her fears and she, without the full story, agreed.
The mother was forced to make this decision by a judge. Definite abuse of power.
I believe in bodily autonomy…and that everyone should know what’s going to happen to them/what has happened to them and this is violating on so many levels. Especially since she tried to have kids and never could and thought it just was her fault. That would be a deep betrayal, the kind that would break trust forever and cause deep seated resentment.
On the other hand, I get it. Poverty is no joke. Childhood poverty, even worse. Watching your child starve or get sick and not having any way to help them? Devastating. But that’s why women should be able to choose. Some feel strong enough to do it, others no. It should be their choice. I wouldn’t take my child’s decisions away from them, even if it was to protect them from the consequences of their own actions…but I get it.
That second position of yours is called eugenics.
What would you do if a judge said your child will be taken away from you, unless you get her tubes tied?
@@brontewcat I'd RAISE HELL if a judge tried that shit, because it would be - wait for it - EUGENICS. And even if I had no choice, I'd have told my daughter when she was a young adult, because that surgery is reversible.
@@wastingmytime7258 I think the second point is the real betrayal - not telling her daughter. If she told her daughter when she was 18, and that it was reversible then her actions were more easily forgivable because I get the impression she had little real choice
BTW I the judge’s comment may be an example of eugenics, the mother’s action to prevent her daughter getting pregnant and living a life of poverty is not.
@@wastingmytime7258 Actually the best form of contraception is education. The better educated a woman the better her chances of making choices that do not lead to early pregnancies.
My auntie was sterilized on the reservation in the 70s. She wasn’t alone. Sterilizing Natives on the rez was common.
That is terrible. Extremely sorry that was done to your aunt
I’m autistic & I don’t want any kids simply bc I’m having a hard time taking care of myself & I don’t want to bring a baby unnecessarily into a difficult situation. If I ever get pregnant I would want to put my kid up for adoption to make sure it goes to a happy, loving & secure home. I can’t stand it when other people say that I would want to have kids later on when I have no intentions to find a boyfriend & get married & have kids. I’m happy enough to be single without kids
I never wanted kids, but I would NEVER forgive someone who took away my CHOICE. My rights to choose, one way or another. It's in your bones, whether you want kids or not. No one can change that, but they feel perfectly free to interfere anyway.
Bet that judge never told mothers to have sons snipped when they got in trouble.
I wouldn't forgive her, this is abuse. There are better ways to get your kids on a straight path without sterilizing them.
So she killed the woman she could’ve been to save the child she was currently? What a clever reason to justify murdering your daughters future.
From the few clips I’ve seen if this show, the medical characters have no problem violating the rights that exist in the real world. According to HIPAA laws, a doctor cannot discuss the condition of an adult or emancipated minor patient to anyone-including a parent, spouse, child, or any other caregiver-without consent of the patient.
This show / clip seems off and never would happen in the real world
also the patient didn't consent to the appendectomy
Okay? She could have at least told her at 18. So she could get them untied
My mom would've done me a favor if she had me sterilized at a young age like this. Now I live with the stress of not knowing what am I gonna do for my daughter when I'm gone, I don't know how to live on my own and can't support myself. She's only 2 and a half years old right now, another 16 and a half years to go and she's an adult.
This needs to be said because it still happens in the world. Ie FGM for one. But children are NOT property. They are not items you can modify like cars. Dont get me wrong kids are dumb. An average kid wouldnt know whats good for them but even they have rights
Exactly, all these comments saying this is barbaric... Which it is but hope everyone here is also in favor then of not circumcising too. Which is also wrong on so many levels.
So you make an immediate diagnosis while palpating an abdomen while she sits in a chair
Yeah, appendicitis is pretty easy. I am a first aid trained lifeguard, most things don't give you pain just in that area. I would never pretend to diagnose but when somebody suddenly gets severe cramps on one side and we have to pull them out of the water we always tell the EMTs that is what we think. Sometimes the person has taken in so much water they aren't making sense to the EMTs.
This in no way excuses or justifies what was done to the victim here.
But back in the 60's A LOT of women were 'preemptively' or 'protectively' sterilized as a reaction to two things... the first was the practice of underage marriage [championed by Southern heroes Elvis Presley and Jerry Lee Lewis] and, a bit later, the whole hippie free love movement. Such activities were seen as a threat to the family and to society and 'wild' girls were often the victims. I know this because it almost happened to my mother.
it had nothing to do with Elvis or JERRY LEE they both wanted wifes who could have kids . it had to do if people thought you were mental sick disable such as deaf ,needed glasses ,mute or poor or they just hated you are somebody in your family or even better you would needed government benfits or your education level or if you were not married .this was done in northern cities in to the late 80s
@@jeanpresley1220 They married 14 year old children, Sparky. Lewis married is eff'ing **cousin** for God's sakes. That's child abuse... period. No excuses, no justifications, no allowances, it's pedophilia.
You know, they got billboards in Louisiana and Alabama that read, "She's not your date, she's your daughter!" and a telephone number for an incest hotline. Feel free to look that up.
So tell me again how this isn't a problem in the South.
As for girls being from the North and being sterilized, I'm fully aware of that. My mother and I live in the Pacific Northwest and it nearly happened to her.
I remember a girl in high school who got pregnant. Her parents forced her to have an abortion and she was absolutely broken hearted. I didn't understand that she was grieving, but now I know.
Native American women were forcibly sterilized in a VERY similar way. They would go in for one procedure, not understand the paperwork and no one explain it to them, and wake up with tubal ligation or complete hysterectomy. It ended in 1974 with a court case showing most cases were unnecessary and could not prove patient consent. At its highest, 25% of native women in the US were forcibly sterilized. The impact it still has today is astronomical on the Native population. It was genocide by sterilization and thousands of native children who were wanted by their mothers were never born.
White women were as well, and black women, and the mentally ill, and the poor. Some people are monsters, and unfortunately they often find positions of political power.
The judge told her to get her tubes tied?? I don’t see how that would keep her out of jail, or why not doing so would put her in jail…
"Please don't tell, she won't take care of me anymore!"
Exaaactly.
I think the mom was extremely selfish in doing that to her daughter. And the hard part was the daughter is going to be alone when the mom dies.
This is the biggest problem I have with this show. Far too many times it presents instances where one party does something unforgivable and reprehensible, but then the show tries to smooth it over with some cheesy music and saccharine disingenuous forgiveness. It's very frustrating writing, and it almost makes me think that some of the writers on the staff of this program might be just a tiny bit morally impaired if they think these kinds of resolutions are appropriate.
This used to be a common practice in several European countries. Parents 'punished' their teenage daughters by having them sterilized. The governments went along with it, since they considered that the genetic material of disobedient girls was unnecessary anyway. And, no, I'm not talking about Nazi-Germany. In Switzerland, they were still doing this in the 70s.
If this was done to me I could forgive the surgery. I'd have a real hard time forgiving the secret.
For all defending the mother, the fact that she never told the daughter the truth while knowing she was trying to have children is beyond redemption
Yeah…there’s no coming back from this one. I don’t care if that’s her mother. There’s no understanding or reasoning they could be given in this circumstance.
Even if she did this because of pressure from a judge, once her daughter was 18, she should be told the truth and allowed to reverse the procedure . Maybe mom wanted a built in slave for her entire life
As someone who can't have kids because I went through menopause at about 15, I can tell you that if I found out someone had purposely caused that I don't think I could ever forgive them. Even my own mom.
over 70 thousand people were forcibly sterilized like this in the 1900s, for similar reasons. It was legal until the 1970s I believe.
Nope still legal today. Last case of it is being fought now from 2006
@@heatheraddams5240 and more like ICE still doing it.
So sad. I understand why.. She felt so pressured. Didn't want her daughter in jail as was being threatened or pregnant extremely young and therefore kept in poverty. It wasn't the right choice, obviously, but it probably seemed like her only choice. Hurts for them both
O my God I’m getting addicted to these videos. Are these true stories
If her mom had told her earlier, she could have adopted a child and been the mother she wanted to be
I acknowledge the mother made the wrong choice, and that taking away her daughter’s ability to have kids is abuse.
Although I am in no way defending her, I do empathize with the mother in this situation. Born into and living in poverty, and likely uneducated, she was convinced by an authority figure - a judge - this was her only and best option to protect the daughter she loved. I think her intentions do matter to some degree, as while the consequences of unknown forced sterilization are horrific, the mothers life-altering mistake wasn’t from malicious intent, but from motherly protection and love.
It was the worst mistake and mother likely lived her whole life with this guilt, and again made the wrong decision not to tell her daughter out of fear of damaging their relationship irreparably. And believing nothing could be done whether her daughter knew the truth or not.
Contextually we need to realize the impact poverty, lack of education, and societal factors which led the mother to wholeheartedly believe she was making the right choice. Culture as well. That’s why FGM still exists, also taking away women’s bodily autonomy, as well as abortion/contraception access. Raising women in certain religious communities also involves taking away bodily autonomy.
Mothers unfortunately are taught and wholeheartedly believe many things that limit a daughter’s bodily autonomy, and do them from a place of love. The actions can be both morally/ethically wrong, while simultaneously acknowledging/understanding/empathizing with the mother’s intentions. Some say they wouldn’t be able to forgive their mother but I think forgiveness is possible
The only way to stop these practices from happening to women, generationally from mother to daughter, is education and dismantling systems and practices that oppress women and deny their bodily autonomy + human rights.
The ending to this is super sad. Mother listened to society pressure, thought she did the right thing to protect her daughter. Realized she made the worst mistake. Daughter finds out by accident, mother never found a way to tell her. And now who knows if she’ll be able to forgive her elderly mother before she passes. Daughter never got to have kids. Relationship may be irreparably damaged….
Intentions matter, as far as blame is concerned.
This is the best comment here!
The worst part about this video are the people who feel the need to give their two cents on it.
My mom is considering doing this to my sister who is severely autistic and has been harassed multiple times by men who want to take advantage of her obvious 'disorder'. She can't fend for herself, she's naive and trusts people too easily. My mom is afraid that she might actually be abused one day and she wants to protect her from having an unwanted child. On the one hand, I understand her concern. On the other, it doesn't feel right at all... I don't know how to feel.
My
Mother and I had the same conversation about my brother, who lives in a group home and technically can date. He is not capable of taking care of himself, let alone another human.
4:10 - Please lady do NOT give me this altruistic BS. She more concerned about her own misery than she is about her daughter's life. She's more worried that her daughter will never forgive her than she is about her daughter's health. When those pains were going as she was being initially examined at 0:57 and claimed that her appendix had been removed when she was 14, right then and there mother should've spoken up and confessed it if her daughter's life and health were mother's first priority.
I can see both sides of this even though what mama did was super wrong.
The mother is a narcissist. Deciding what she thinks is best for her daughter and lied all those years.
No one has the right to tell anyone what they should do with their own body.... And yes, that goes for EVERYTHING!!!
That's not true. Legally you can't use your body to hurt another person.
@@yumiloomerstorytime.4830 Give me an example. And remember I did say "Their own body." And this is not about the right to do something with your body that would hurt an innocent life inside of a body. That baby has a right too.
You commented something that was inaccurate.
You said no one has the right to tell anyone what they should do with their own bodies. People use their bodies for violence every day.
Who ever the doctor was also needs prosecuting. What an awful thing to do to your own child. Using what you did as a young girl as the incentive is wrong on so many levels. You brought this woman into the world and no matter what difficulties you faced not ever should you have made her pay for it. If that was my mother nothing absolutely nothing would make me forgive you EVER. This is the part that men do not understand. Even if you've made the decision to not have children there is hardly any women who actually make sure they don't by going to get sterilised. Even when our child bearing years are over it makes a woman forlorn and a bit depressed for a while. But to have a mother who would do this is horrific, you denied her what you did or she wouldn't be here
If we take the mother at her word, it makes sense that she would do this. Given the story of her life, it’s understandable that she didn’t want that for her daughter. However, that is where my sympathy ends.
She gave consent to an irreversible procedure behind her daughter’s back. She concealed that information for decades, & didn’t even admit to her guilt willingly. It’s one thing to want a better life for your child, but not at their own expense. Certainly not at the cost of their own autonomy.
I get it. Teenagers are difficult. But there were other ways to go about it. Ethical & respectful ways that didn’t change the entire course of her daughter’s life without her knowledge.
If she just wanted birth control why didnt she just do something less permanent like an iud?
Human and ethic ! While I was in a fertilization cycle at the hospital, i always saw another patient who really make everyone in the waiting room very very uncomfortable. The patient was definitely trisomie and had a physical handicap. Base on what i see, she might have a 8-10 years kid maturity. Her old parents had only her as a child and desperately want grand-kid and bring her to be inseminate. she doesn’t even what she was there for…sad.
That's foul....
Correction: inhumane and unethical. Force breeding or an underage human or any human against their will are both cruel and evil practices to do. If you don't think your child deserves the right to choose in the future, don't have kids.
I wasn't sterilized but my mother did have a doctor do a pap smear on me when I was a minor without my consent because she wanted a virginity check. I did not want be touching me but she threatened to hit me if I refused to let the doctor do it. And he did because he was greedy and wanted the money. I plan to sue both of them for assault
I hope you win.