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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 21 ส.ค. 2024
- One woman's ten year journey into Mormon polygamy. Combining real photographs with re-enactments, it is a humorous look at daily life inside a polygamist marriage--full of ups and downs, jealousy, and odd moments. This is a documentary. Relations with sister wives.
Subjects: Bruce Kirschman, Jim Harmston, True and Living Church (TLC) in Manti, Utah, plural marriage, polygamy, mormonism
The film was shot in color on 16mm film using an Arri-BL and Arri-S. It took one year and four months to complete at the cost of about $5000 and was produced at the University of Utah Film Studies Division. Brian Patrick was the faculty advisor for this project. Made by Lareena Smith. Captioned.
Currently writing a book about my experiences. To read more, go to Wattpad:
www.wattpad.com...
FILM WEBSITE: www.polygamyand...
This is really sad that some people are so deceived that they will submit themselves to this , even when they pretend that they are all one big happy family , the facts show that most of them hate their situation.
To the person that posted this video: You did an AWESOME job; very interesting and nicely done. I don't agree with polygamy, but that's another story. You did a great job with the movie.
Thank you for the complements. I am working on two novels right now. One is science fiction (because I have a passion for it). The other is a full novel based on my polygamy experiences. This 14 minute film is a very distilled (and mostly humorous) version of what happened.
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I look forward to your book
This movie was absolutely fantastic! Hope you are producing a lot more!
Nice film. We are all interconnected. One way to salvation is to use your talent as a film maker to open people's eyes to their rights, and freedom. Appreciating life, and to fully live life is a gift that many people can't grasp until they see someone else's life in a movie.
I recently met a homeless, and I bought her grocery. I then hugged, and thanked her for giving me that opportunity. You too have to be thankful for the missing piece in others to be filled with your life experience.
"they can share the cooking, cleaning and babysitting" oh boy....really, can we?
You are a really interesting person! You seem incredibly honest. I’m glad you’re doing what you want to do and not beating yourself up for your past. :-)
That's exactly what happened to my mother when she married my dad. The first wife said it was okay and then started fighting with her after it was done.
great video, although my wife would never agree to this.
I'm friends with Lareena. I met her a few years ago when I had briefly been teaching in the town that she lives in with her husband (she's his one and only wife and they like it that way!). I never met a happier couple in my life, seriously. She was the first ex-polygamist that I ever met (or any polygamist for that matter). She's a wonderful person and she really has an amazing life. We'll be friends forever!
@rachelhelen19 Thank you for the kind words. I'm basically a child of the Universe right now. Not really going to an organized church.
Finished college. Got married. Got out of debt. I consider it more "getting my life together" than "putting it on the back-burner." Thanks for your good wishes.
To the person that said that polygamy doesn't "degrade" women, I disagree vehemently with that. Women ARE jealous of other women, women DO compete with other women in many regards. Women do not want their husbands sleeping with other women. The only reason why a women would accept this type of abuse (and yes, it's abuse of a woman's nature and instinct) is because of a religious doctrine that was written by a man for his own sexual purposes.
She and her husband (her now husband-monogomous) were friends to me when I needed help from REAL friends! Lareena is wonderful!
I have read it. I am a member of the church. I wanted to know why the church prophets were still practiseing polygamy after the church said it was no longer allowed? It does say you are to live the principle. I have read every book possible. I ask people in the church this but they know less then me. It is annoying and confusing when no one can answer simple questions.
You are totally amazing! I place you among my personal heroes.
So you are saying no matter what the books used in the church are not important? then what is the point in reading them and having a prophet.
I'm not a polygamist. I just find other religions and groups kind of fascinating. This was a good film, and assuming it was based on your life I'm happy you were able to leave and find your own happiness. The Super 16 made it look vintage and kind of 70s, it's not as popular nowadays but I like it.
I'm not lds but I have lived in a long term commited relationship with 2 women. Honestly, it was the best of times but there are many factors that go into the success or failure of the relationship.
The 2 were step sisters and best friends so they got along great. When I was at the office they hung out, went shopping, and worked on the house together. Jealousy wasn't really a factor since the family as a whole was more important than any one of us.
I am no one to judge anyone else.
Very interesting. I love that you gave us a very personal view of polygamy. Your first husband just seemed like a guy who wanted to have sex with someone other than his wife and not be technically "cheating".
Nice work! Held my interest, stayed on topic, I didn't have the urge to jump to another video. Well done.
This is definately for real. Thank you for the compliments. I don't hate polygamy but I think the conditions under which most women live it are oppressive (and yes, monogamy is a lot more fun...IMHO).
7:27 she says one man had 8 wives who each had there own home "it was worth every penny" I don't know why I think that is so funny.
"A bishop must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behavior, given to hospitality, apt to teach" 1 Tim 3:2
Great film!
In Christianity (not Mormonism), though polygamy is noted as having happened in the Bible, it is never shown as having a great outcome. The clear and simple desire of God in terms of marriage is 1 man and 1 woman. In the New Testement, having only 1 wife was a requirement of Church leaders (if they were married at all). Marriage is not a requirement of Salvation, and certainly having several wives doesn't change that.
I met her personally in Alaska...with her new husband (not polygamist), and she's for real. She's very cool, too, and seems very happy having followed her OWN heart and no one elses!
As an ex comunicated morman I truly enjoyed this thanks for making me laugh LOL!
First of all, Bruce wasn't raised a fundamentalist either, he converted himself by reading about it. At the time, he was in the LDS "Mormon" Church. Also, girls raised fundamentalist are hard to come by. Most are married young. So, that's not as easy as you might think.
This was our thinking at the time. At least a polygamist man takes responsibility and owns up to his other relationships and children. Many men do not. So how is a polygamist worse than a man who has an affair and has children through a woman other than his wife? But to most people, cheating on a wife is more socially acceptable than polygamy. Funny, isn't it?
From the song Indian Summer by Audience (69), one woman will make you happy, two will make you dead.
A Real Life Polygamy:
My first wife tells me to mow the lawn
My wife no.2 tells me to walk the dog.
My wife no.3 tells me to do the laundry.
My wife number four tells me to drive the kids to school.
My wife number 5 tells me to get ready for her family to come for dinner.
My wife number 6 tells me to buy grocery fro the day and so on and so on and so on......till !
A True and honest look at the ups and downs of polygamy.
Bravo!! Wow, you did a great job, and that was awesome to get a peek into your life.
I'm also in Utah and mormon.
I don't think polygamy is a huge deal unless it involves the young girls and the non-consent and the marrying cousins and the abuse. I personally think if it is done right and spiritually it could be a beautiful thing.
I'm curious what is your religion now and are you married or do you have any kids?
"Women end up waiting on men." ~
Dang! Not in my house.
Thanks. And someone stole the hat. I put it on a seat at a movie theater to save my spot :-(
"Marriage is not about romance, it's about duty"
And so everyone lived unhappily together forever.
FAIL
NOT EVERY MAN IS A BISHOP. And besides, this COULD be saying that he needs to have AT LEAST ONE WIFE.
Great job on the film. I think you have a hopeful spirit and a beautiful heart.
I'm Mormon but I still think that the idea of two wives or more with one man is an awful idea. I think mutable partners living together would be extremely frustrating and stressful after a while... This video is a good example of why.
Oops. This was suppose to post to a comment by GoldenBuffy who said: "I would rather my hsuabdn take another wife before he cheated on me with some other woman. But that's my own opinion. "
I don't know. He vanished years ago. I think he went to Mexico or South America with his third wife. No one has heard from them.
I think sometimes we might underestimate what it takes to make a marriage work and the preparation that it might take to let another woman love the man that we love sooo much. NOT that it cannot be done. It seems that every case is diferent. Despite watching this video i still think it can be done successfully.
It probably could be. But it’s like teaching an elephant to roller skate. Why bother? It’s difficult and painful and takes a lot of time better spent on something more useful.
This was a response for
saltavislee, who said:
"i wonder how many of these relations last here in america if you take out utah. i'm struggling with it right now."
I saw the first season of Big Love so far and I loved it. Yes, I did think it was a realistic depiction. I think they did a lot of research and got the characters down pretty good. I like how the sister wives try to get along. I know that was a big goal for us, but we had trouble achieving it. I think there are probably a lot of "independent" polygamist families living in Salt Lake City that are like the Big Love family. Just trying to make it and not involved in a radical cult.
I think the moral of this story is simply to follow your heart and do what makes you happy. Follow your dreams in whatever direction it takes you. Polygamy did not fit in their lives because they did it out of obligation and not from their own heart. I have a feeling that even if it were monogamous, that those marriages would have eventually met some serious roadblocks. The problem was not the system of relationship chosen, but the level of consciousness of the participants.
Thank you Lareena Smith for sharing your story with us. I am sorry so many respond with such ignorance. Just don't bother reading them. Did you have any children when you were married and are they living with you now?
Um, my sister wrote it for me. Thanks.
I love the scenes with 2 women in the kitchen - showed how hard sharing a kitchen must be.
That was quite the tip-toe through the tulips!
Glad you got out and got a life!
She is not any different than any other woman of today. All I see us all doing is making dumb choices in life, marrying this or that guy and such. So, in that case, it's not so dumb. I liked it. It was real to me. I am interested in poly and have heard about the problems but have never seen it like this. So I am happy with the vid. Very fun. I feel like I lived poly through her lol!
Let me guess, jealousy must be a sin.
The singling out of women who marry young, as though only polygamous women marry young, the media campaign, I'm not getting any writing done. Not just Polygamous women with dissapointing sister wives get writer's block, get hit, or treated like live in babysitters.
I have always believed in sororal polygamy. In nearly all indigenous cultures this was the way--sisters, friends wanted to raise their children together. Consent isn't enough.
I think that has been the secret to sucess for thousands of years. Marriage depending on romance has only been a recent invention, and look at its sucess rate! More than 50% of marriages end in divorce. We don't practice monogamy, we practice serial monogamy and the children suffer for it.
Very informative video. So what are your beliefs now? Also, I'm pretty sure you've watched HBO's 'Big Love.' How true is that to what really happens in a polygamist marriage? HBO's known for its realistic depiction of things, but it can also "Hollywoodize" things if they want as well.
IS THIS FOR REAL ?? SOOO INTERESTING !!
Thanks for your response deseradi. As I suspected, HBO does do the subject justice. It usually does with any matter. I find it quite interesting. So what are your current religious/spiritual beliefs and/or practices?
I don't think even women in previous times liked polygamy either. I think they just had less power to stand up against it. Most women no matter what time they are living in would prefer to have their husband love and be married to them only. Well if you REALLY love your husband you would not want to share him with another woman.
D&C 132 v4 "4 For behold, I reveal unto you a new and an everlasting covenant; and if ye abide not that covenant, then are ye damned; for no one can reject this covenant and be permitted to enter into my glory.
(Doctrine and Covenants Section 132:4)" Everlasting! And D&C 132 does speak of plurality of wives. I am just trying to find answers ya know?
@wwwpower1 FYI, polygamy is not legal in the United States, but the fact is that marriage for many people is already pretty abusive. What exactly do you think would make a polygamous marriage any more abusive? Because personally as a man I'm pretty sure I'd have a far more complex time trying to boss around a group of woman than just one wife. A man who participates in polygamy would have to be that more responsible. It's not something I personally would ever try, but I respect those who do.
I would think it was perfectly fine if there was women with several dudes also. Since it doesn't seem to be accepted or expected by the mormon church, it only goes as a manchauvunist way of controll and greed.
how interesting, awesome, informative and inspiring. Thank you so much for sharing your experience. God bless!
But yet D&C does still command it. D&C 132 I believe and to believe Joseph Smith was a prophet you would have too believe in his words. Would you not? Joseph Smith said if you change any laws he had written in the church the church would be in apostacy, How can you call a man a prophet but yet not follow him as if he was wrong? It's not you by the way I have been wanderin this for a while now.
My question too: are you a polygamist? Or are you just struggling with the idea of polygamist relationships in America?
Polygamy, in itself is not wrong, but rather, when there is an inequality in the relationship between the husband and his wives. There are Biblical examples of acceptable polygamy in the Bible for Christians, such as the reference to taking as a wife your brother's wife if the brother dies.
Thank you.
very interesting vid, thanks for posting.
Not a muslim but I agree with you.
No, it's a true story.
Interesting. Wasn't sure if this was real or a comical piece. But think it's real. My thoughts are polygamy or agnostic are not the only 2 options 😏
Great film.
And this was a response to:
j9901106, who said:
"This is so incredible. You give such a personal, intelligent, relatable approach to a highly passionate and divisive issue ... bravo, I hope you are pursuing writing, you have a real gift for storytelling."
You shouldn’t have to share your husband. You shouldnt have to watch your man fall in love with other woman. This sounds absolutely horrible.
its kinda sad, what this guy did to her
I liked the film; a good message. Thanks.
@littleyellowgrl48 He wouldn't. But the problem is with the individual, not the marriage.
Very cool! Good job!
@wwwpower1 I remember reading a story about the wife of a prominent royalty figure in Britain. A prominent prince from Saudi Arabia in a polygamous marriage had come to visit and the wife of the British Royal figure kept going on and on asking questions about the princes polygamous marriage. The price than replied something to the effect of "I am much like your husband. Like him I have two wives, only in in my country where polygamy is legal I can be honest about it.."
hey this is a good/goofy clip about polygamy i like your honesty/sincerety cheers good on yah for sharing 10yrs of your life myself i am LDS and don't have a problem with polygamy its not all bad no different than any other relationship as long as respect/love and commitment are there cheers
The LDS church has not practiced polygamy for over 100 years now.. and the way people get all upset you would think that we are still practicing it. There are groups who have split off from the church because they want to continue the practice. Now some even call themselves.. LDS or Mormons which complicates matters. Just so you know.. the church that is headquarted in Salt Lake City.. it is a worldwide church with over 13 million members does not practice polygamy. :-)
1-Raping is a very emotionally charged word; 2- $8 for every $1. Where does this come from when 75% or so of polygamists don't even admit to living polygamy? 3-The government forbids marriage to more than one wife, so many polygamist women are unmarried. The government has programs for unmarried women with children. POlygamists take advantage--a little revenge for being placed by the government in a disadvantaged status. Not my opinion now, but this is how the thinking goes....
I'm not sure how being a king is a "religion". Every other faith is based on being a good person. Not being a king. In fact, most religions are all about being humble and respecting others. So if they are "kings" I guess they think the rest of us are beneath them. That's a religion?
This video isn't like anything i've ever seen before on polygamy. i've never seen anything where the wife could just leave if she was unhappy in the marriage. maybe that radical behavior isn't in all polygamist families, but i know i could never share my husband.
@wwwpower1 All you can do is judge others, but can you give me an example of one marriage that has not had it's problems? Of course polygamous relationship will have problems, but that is normal of any relationship. The thing about polygamy is that it's being honest, loyal, and faithful. The fact is that polygamy is nor unfaithful, it for the most part is not hurtful, and it doesn't involve betrayal. Live and let live, and stop judging others. If you don't agree don't practice it.
@FSMNoodlyAppendage
Amen!!!!! Thank you for telling people this!!!!!
Yes.
I think you guys overreacted on this with weak evidence. The call you received wasn't directly from the woman herself, so it is iffy at best. Since she already had the baby what would've been the harm to wait a week or two to build your case. It appears that you were looking for any excuse to get in their and start interrogating the women and children to build a case that you didn't have. Why was the First Baptist Church used during this, it isn't really their business, just the laws.
SEE this is where I dooo have an issue. Key word CONVINCED. Why not marry a woman that was raised Fundamentalist Mormon?? Instead of "teaching" or Convincing a woman who, ... knew nothing about it prior.
Dude Mormons know what's good! Multiple wife's? He'll yeah three way.
the think is that polygomy is not a sin. it is like that our forefather had sevral wifes. the question is that how much wives a husband can have in the same time?
She is NOT a real Mormon...b/c she just said that "when I came home" (from her mission) she converted to FLDS....which is NOT Mormon....there is a BIG difference.
This was a very interesting and insightful video.
But there is a bit of misinformation in the description, which says "Mormon polygamy". Polygamy today has absolutely nothing to do with the Mormon church (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints) which stopped the practice more than a century ago. If you'll notice, with her first plural marriage, she said she wanted to keep her membership in the Mormon church, so they kept it a secret.
My apologies. The way you defend it, I thought you were. When you say NT/OT, you have to be more clear. Are you saying NO part of the NT nullifies the law? If so, then I don't think you've read either one. Also, I still don't see where God's design is polygamy in the OT. Can you show me? Don't call me ignorant if you're not willing to read what you claim to understand.
I don't know if this video is supposed to be true or not. Regardless after watching the Texas Polygamy "stand off" I'm think I have pity on the Polygamist. They seem to get a lot of negative attention when they really aren't a threat. I wish our law enforcement would focus more on the borders and gangs in America and not a single harmless man who happens to have 2 wives.
That would be so awesome and yet so strange, but could you imagine being surrounded by three or four women and married to them all, able to have anyone of them at anytime?!?!? That would be freakin sweet!!
@wwwpower1 And how would you treat the men, women, and children of a polygamous family?
Actually J(the)C is an idea, title, picture, concept, a LOGOS and he evolved from Spiritual Precursors, the most-well kniown GoD "Horus" The immediate Template, that he "rose" from, is, yet, an actual historical person. I alrerady shared this msg with the public. YET, NOBODY has ever asked "who?!" which is truly funny.
@mazerrackham001 But they aren't married... They might have relationships, but just calling it a marriage does not make it so.
Mohandas Gandhi wisely said"God has no religion". All religions are man made. I believe in God our Creator, but I listen to the "holy spirit" that guides and speaks to everyone on Earth. You only have to listen.
I feel sorry for people born into it too. But I disagree that men are only in it for sex. A handful of high up leaders end up with the most wives. Some are lucky to get any. The average polygamist lives with these wives and have many children. There's a lot of family management and raising of kids. And yes, men thought up this "Law of Obedience" as they call it. It's a remnant of Biblical times and thinking. And polygamist men aren't the only ones that have it, many conservative religions do.
Tell them god told you to have 30 husbands and see what they say,this should be interesting to see.
Please keep in mind that being LDS and being a member of the FLDS are not the same thing. FLDS church is what Protestant Church is to the Catholic Church--a break-off from the original (and in many LDS members opinion, an apostate church).