Reading the essay that got me into an Ivy League!

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 21 พ.ย. 2024

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  • @marlouse5637
    @marlouse5637 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2022

    I always find it s hard to pay attention to college essays esp when they're being read to me on youtube but your animations made everything so much better and made me rlly appreciate it! It was rlly good too!

    • @ValerieAndi
      @ValerieAndi  4 ปีที่แล้ว +32

      Aw I'm so glad that means a lot :))

    • @ValerieAndi
      @ValerieAndi  4 ปีที่แล้ว +30

      @@electwriting2193 Just for clarification, I have never used nor do I endorse this service. Also- write your essays yourself guys.

  • @sukiibukiii2289
    @sukiibukiii2289 2 ปีที่แล้ว +173

    This is the most humble brag essay and I respect you for it.

  • @allenrubin7390
    @allenrubin7390 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2445

    damn that's such a good essay. be a shame if someone plagiarised it

    • @itsjae9
      @itsjae9 3 ปีที่แล้ว +577

      NAHHHH YOU WILD 😭

    • @chaeryeongggg3078
      @chaeryeongggg3078 2 ปีที่แล้ว +219

      NAHH u did not😭😭

    • @ICYHope
      @ICYHope 2 ปีที่แล้ว +84

      OHH MAAAAWW GAAWWDDD

    • @soyin1832
      @soyin1832 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      lol

    • @soyin1832
      @soyin1832 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      @@chaeryeongggg3078 girl period I love ITZY just as much as I love chaeryeong saying “~ITZAAAAAYYYY”

  • @mymind9514
    @mymind9514 2 ปีที่แล้ว +182

    This was such a sweet refreshing essay, I love how you put in your extracurriculars, grades, and interest in such a subtle and cute way.

  • @JustAnotherLokiStan
    @JustAnotherLokiStan 3 ปีที่แล้ว +305

    This is one of the best essays I've come across on TH-cam. It doesn't feel forced unlike a lot of essays I've read (especially because most applicants try to use as many big and impressive words and meaningless metaphors as they can, most of which don't even fit the context) and your self expression skills are amazing. ❤️

  • @at_mikhael2955
    @at_mikhael2955 2 ปีที่แล้ว +70

    I really love the end of your essay... "Rather than trying to fit 30 hours into a day..."! All I could say was "Wow!".
    It has prompted me to think deeply and forge my essay with simple, but meaningful words and experiences.
    Thank you!

  • @jwkuy
    @jwkuy 2 ปีที่แล้ว +40

    i genuinely think this video is a sign to me that i should stop carrying so much stress on myself, due to school. i’ve recently been struggling a lot with the balance between personal life and academics, and so when i heard what you wrote, not only did i think it was beautiful, i took it as a sign; a sign that i should allow myself to freely breathe in the environment i crave the most, which is feeling care-free. thank you, i will cherish this video forever.

  • @emilyan7171
    @emilyan7171 4 ปีที่แล้ว +146

    I really wish more people would see this. Not only because it's an amazing college essay, but also because it's such an important lesson and all the videos, pictures, and doodles make it even better

  • @emilyan7171
    @emilyan7171 4 ปีที่แล้ว +909

    This was beautiful. Like the definition of beautiful. One of the only essays that captured me with every single word!! I mean, not to mention that you are also so beautiful too

    • @ValerieAndi
      @ValerieAndi  4 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      ohmygosh you are way too kind

  • @user-zo3ty8gi9x
    @user-zo3ty8gi9x 4 ปีที่แล้ว +657

    i always find it so interesting learning about the American university admissions system. i really loved this video.
    in the UK, we write one essay that’s called a personal statement and it’s centred entirely around the subject you want to study. you talk about why it interests you and what you’ve done to learn more about it. i think i wrote one sentence about what i’ve done outside of my studies. i gotta say i prefer the UK version 😂.
    congrats on upenn!!

    • @ValerieAndi
      @ValerieAndi  4 ปีที่แล้ว +43

      Thanks!! That's definitely super different- can't say which I prefer!

    • @nbaskillz
      @nbaskillz 3 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      That sounds shit tbh

    • @elj1454
      @elj1454 2 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      Currently working on applications in both the UK and US. I found the UK personal statement really straightforward and easy to write and am now struggling with the US essays that are a lot more personal (haha ironic)

    • @titler3140
      @titler3140 2 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      @@elj1454 If you're an international student, the UK PS is gold as most of us find it harder to talk about ourselves in a vulnerable sense which the US essays require.

    • @elj1454
      @elj1454 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@titler3140 I’m from the US but definitely agree with what you said. Maybe I should go to the UK haha

  • @daniaflores8013
    @daniaflores8013 2 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    2 years later, as im sitting on my bed at 11pm at night w my computer as a 10th grader freaking out about what i have to do to get into the college of my dreams, this video is such a huge relief. Your essay is so beautiful and felt so heartwarming and intimate in such an effortless and undaunting way. this single video has given me sm hope! thank you so much for being kind and brave enough to share, valerie! you're so gorgeous too and intelligent and so good with conveying your emotions. Thank you!

  • @alexandrakek9835
    @alexandrakek9835 3 ปีที่แล้ว +34

    I've literally completed every single portion of my applications except the essay because I had no idea where to start. I guess it was fate that I came across your video; I'm so inspired by you!

    • @aneesai241
      @aneesai241 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      ahh samee!! good luck with your app processs!

    • @alexandrakek9835
      @alexandrakek9835 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@aneesai241 Good luck with your as well! :)

  • @chloeinocencio3745
    @chloeinocencio3745 4 ปีที่แล้ว +51

    I CRIED WHAT DO YOU MEAN “UNDERWHELMING” I RELATED SO MUCH🤍🤍

  • @dmh8002
    @dmh8002 3 ปีที่แล้ว +49

    There was nothing underwhelming about your essay! It was superb! Thank you for your courage to post this video. Well done!

  • @SS-tq2dp
    @SS-tq2dp 4 ปีที่แล้ว +57

    That... was so amazing. The best essay I've listened to/read (haha thanks for the subtitles and the illustrations! They made it so much more easier for me to follow along with lol) on youtube and trust me when I say I've read so many. The way you wove in factual and emotional details into the essay without making it overly sappy or looking like you were trying too hard to resonate with the reader was what I appreciated the most about it! It was simplicity at it best, and it really stood out among all of the others I watched so far, lol. I would really love a video about your Penn supplements! That would be even more helpful since I plan on applying to Penn as well! Thanks for this!

  • @bobbyswanson3498
    @bobbyswanson3498 4 ปีที่แล้ว +19

    I love how you took it in so many different directions but blended them all really well

  • @AMFahad-xe6vc
    @AMFahad-xe6vc 2 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    I've watched so many essays on youtube this week, and I have to say that yours felt the most honest, original, and heartfelt. You did not throw in difficult words here and there (not that it's a bad thing), your emotions didn't feel forced, and it was like reading a piece from someone's journal that they wrote into before sleeping after a long week. Thank you for sharing this with us! I'm going to apply to colleges this year and I'm really stressed about it. Your essay reminded me that I really need to appreciate the good things I have in life in between all the hustle :)

  • @jeff-dg7km
    @jeff-dg7km 4 ปีที่แล้ว +153

    i loved everything about this video!!! the doodles were such a nice touch - thank you for taking the time out of your day to add those & to share your essay :’)

  • @uladzimirc5672
    @uladzimirc5672 2 ปีที่แล้ว +39

    This essay was truly mesmerizing! It gave me a whole bouquet of pleasant feelings that are ardently burning in my head. These five minutes of your reading had sparked my imagination. My level creativeness had instantaneously elevated so that for a short period of time it prevailed my critical self-perception as a little stubborn person who sometimes seems to be incapable of performing any kind of artworks.
    I am very proud of you that you have committed to University of Pennsylvania and other highly-selective schools with the help of this diligently written essay. Have a wonderful career in the school of my dream!
    Sincerely. Uladzimir Charniauski

  • @monval37
    @monval37 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    the final sentence was just !!! like omg that really brought it home

  • @wellnessbylauren3767
    @wellnessbylauren3767 3 ปีที่แล้ว +20

    That was really good! I just finished my college essay and while I'm applying to ivy leagues, I will likely enjoy myself more at a school closer to home. Thanks for sharing!

  • @PhoenixDaniel_
    @PhoenixDaniel_ 3 ปีที่แล้ว +21

    This was one of the best essays that I've heard during my time looking at college admission advice! I'm a junior and will be applying to Upenn next year and have an idea for my essay. Thank you so much for sharing this wonderful masterpiece! :)

    • @beebsage6498
      @beebsage6498 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      u wrote this 11 months ago, how’s it going? I really want an update !

    • @massielvictoria3604
      @massielvictoria3604 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@beebsage6498 Me too!

    • @Moonlit._
      @Moonlit._ 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Samee I want an update too!!

  • @hachiresendiz2740
    @hachiresendiz2740 4 ปีที่แล้ว +42

    This was really good! You should share your Penn specific essays: )

  • @Elletanvilla
    @Elletanvilla 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    That was such a heartwarming essay, it was so simple yet so genuine and extremely comforting to hear from a successful student as someone who also doesn’t agree with the hustle culture of today :)))

  • @isa.oli28
    @isa.oli28 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I really needed to see this. The daunting college essay confused me sm but this was great and i feel i can do this with more confidence

  • @fhjss-ne8zy
    @fhjss-ne8zy 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    This literally the best college essay and essay reading video i've ever seen

  • @Blueian742
    @Blueian742 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Great essay loved your diction and the editing made listening to someone reading their essay a lot more engaging. I’m feeling inspired so I’m gonna write an essay about a personal interest of mine. Good luck those of y’all applying to colleges. Let’s make it happen! 💪

  • @abiakinyele
    @abiakinyele 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    i watched the whole thing... this ate! you deserve all of your admissions. i can relate sm to the trying to fit 30 hours into a day 😭

  • @Candy_XP
    @Candy_XP 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    "Woah" is the only emotion I can muster up. This essay dealt with a perfect balance which, of course, lead you to a well-deserved admission to UPenn!! Good job, girl!!

  • @emilygu9814
    @emilygu9814 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    the animations are insaneee🤯🤯💖💞💘

  • @Claire-tf8zh
    @Claire-tf8zh 4 ปีที่แล้ว +19

    Ok I do debate and I literally would not be able to debate against this girl bc her voice is so soothing

  • @benhongoie1622
    @benhongoie1622 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Amazing essay - nice and simple. And brings out your personality perfectly!

  • @isabellajeremar5948
    @isabellajeremar5948 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Such an amazing and moving essay! I love how it shows your ambitions and your great ability to reflect on your life and the small and big moments of it! Those qualities are far more attractive and weigh more for who your are going to be and what you are going to make out of your years at college, uni and after your studies than trophies and scores will. And it seems like someone at UPenn thought the same 😉, even though I know your amazing achievements also played a big role ❤

  • @oleanapark373
    @oleanapark373 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    your essay is soooo amazing and the editing was so cool omg tysm for taking the time to do that

  • @ditatshiany8818
    @ditatshiany8818 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Wow im 12 years old and I keep looking at videos like these for no reason, I find them super inspiring !!

  • @inessamkhitaryan9130
    @inessamkhitaryan9130 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    It's not even upenn,it's the essay.So much thankful for this.I needed to hear that!

  • @thatdancervicki
    @thatdancervicki 3 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    Hey! I was just wondering what common app prompt you had chosen. It's funny because I was thinking about writing about the struggle of time as well, but you made it sound so much better lol

  • @alanz.5255
    @alanz.5255 4 ปีที่แล้ว +150

    5:00 "I'm sorry if that was a little underwhelming..."
    That was overwhelmingly good if not anything :)
    **edit**
    NGL this has actually become a go-to place for inspiration every time I'm stuck with writing my essays

    • @bethanytong2338
      @bethanytong2338 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      heyy! if you're interested, my friends and i started a company called collegae (collegae.weebly.com) that provides affordable college counseling where you can speak to a collegian from schools (we have stanford, uc berkeley, harvard, upenn, princeton, and so much more) for just $20/ half hour! they can answer questions like what their essay was on, how they got in, their stats, extracurriculars, campus life/culture, and so much more! hope this helps:)

  • @nadiahalim06
    @nadiahalim06 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    That's an amazing essay! Subtle hints to all your extracurriculars, but to me, it kind of sounded like a storytime yt video, which I'm sure the college admissions officer appreciated

  • @ss-kw1kk
    @ss-kw1kk 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    girl this used to be me. im telling you right now you need to quit the majority of your commitments and just enjoy life, watch TV, drive around aimlessly, sit with friends. life is not about achievement and business, its about making your soul happy

  • @stailaagarwal8297
    @stailaagarwal8297 3 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    that is something really refreshing!!!!! you did an awesome job Valerie, this essay can actually shift perspectives. beautiful:))

  • @kaylenpak6182
    @kaylenpak6182 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    awww nice essay! and wow the animated montage narrative was really great!! go go val!!

  • @alexrussell8358
    @alexrussell8358 3 ปีที่แล้ว +25

    this is so authentic and relatable! definitely one of the best essays that i saw on yt! yes i have watched this for three times

  • @levelthefield
    @levelthefield 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    HOLY CRAP THAT ESSAY IS SO FREAKING GOOD WHY AM I LITERALLY CRYING OMG THIS IS SO GOOD

  • @Claire-tf8zh
    @Claire-tf8zh 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I'd love to see some supplemental essays too!

  • @shabbyfoofooyay1929
    @shabbyfoofooyay1929 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    this is a fantastic common app essay !! just from this video i can tell that you are sweet and hard working :) thank you for sharing this

  • @bookwyrm8181
    @bookwyrm8181 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    oooh that last line though! so good!

  • @Kristielina
    @Kristielina 12 วันที่ผ่านมา

    I love your essay, and congrats on UPenn :)

  • @coeurwny
    @coeurwny 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    it's actually so beauty, i'd read it if it was a book omg!⭐🤩

  • @gabi3742
    @gabi3742 ปีที่แล้ว

    unrelated but girl you're so pretty?? i love your hair!

  • @finaya
    @finaya 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    This was such a good essay! Great job

  • @saanvibapu960
    @saanvibapu960 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    This essay is so freaking good omg

  • @kayabread1234
    @kayabread1234 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    such pretty edits!

  • @angelinamo482
    @angelinamo482 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    thank you so much for sharing! the quality of this video is amazing :))

  • @caroletuong
    @caroletuong 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Oh i love this, thank you for giving such helpful reference!

  • @yirouchin0114
    @yirouchin0114 ปีที่แล้ว

    Wow, I felt that writing an essay isn't as tough as the Costco essay (that level is too high for me) thanks~

  • @erpollock
    @erpollock 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Excellent essay! You were short and to the point, which seems to be very unreachable by most people who write about their essay. You certainly accomplished a lot. But once you started reducing the pressure, you got more out of your experiences. U of Penn liked it!

  • @AnaFaulk-Rivera
    @AnaFaulk-Rivera ปีที่แล้ว

    That was so beautiful and wholesome

  • @AM-id5ry
    @AM-id5ry 3 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    Your essay mentioned a good number of awards and extracurriculars but do you think a personal statement can be just as effective without mentioning academics or honors in any way?

    • @loveyalotz
      @loveyalotz 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Yes!!! Check out “Essays that worked” Hamilton college. One kid wrote about Cicadas 😮🎉

  • @Claire-tf8zh
    @Claire-tf8zh 4 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    Lol sophomore yr was the empty yr for me. I was just so dead inside it took 4 weeks being stuck in bed with pneumonia to wake me up. I was miserable but this past yr has been the happiest one since I entered middle school!

    • @ValerieAndi
      @ValerieAndi  4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Aw I'm so glad to hear things got better :))

  • @victoriacorcimaru1731
    @victoriacorcimaru1731 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    This was so brave!!! Thank you so much!) Your effort made huge impact

  • @theatregirl7851
    @theatregirl7851 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    this is a beautiful essay. 💕 it really inspired me!

  • @emilyli4849
    @emilyli4849 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    this was so good and calming! And i spotted conan gray haha

    • @ValerieAndi
      @ValerieAndi  4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      YES I'm so glad I got to go to a concert before everything was locked down

  • @gloriaiuc
    @gloriaiuc 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Wow ur essay flows so well n actually makes sense! I'm still tryna make mine coherent haha

  • @msnatalieho
    @msnatalieho 4 ปีที่แล้ว +54

    I j finished writing my essay but I’ve read it so many times that I feel numb to it...how do I know if the essay is good? Thx for the video !!

    • @ValerieAndi
      @ValerieAndi  4 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      Great question! I'd say have someone else read it- it doesn't even have to be a college counselor or anything like that. Just have someone look it over and let you know what their takeaways are from it/ to confirm that everything flows and makes sense. It always helps to have a fresh set of eyes :)

  • @hiyapatel8547
    @hiyapatel8547 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    OK but i vibe w ur personality so much

  • @ariadnacinco6514
    @ariadnacinco6514 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you so much for this!!!! I love it so so so much, thank you for sharing and CONGRATSSSSS

  • @sarahmacjones
    @sarahmacjones 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    this video is so well done!!

  • @wonnz1344
    @wonnz1344 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    bro this made me emotional

  • @aristotleaquino3067
    @aristotleaquino3067 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thanks for sharing. It is a great inspiration point for others.

  • @tatianavaldes9319
    @tatianavaldes9319 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    Wait girl this is really good

  • @Aditya-vz9mg
    @Aditya-vz9mg 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    What a powerful personal statement. 😳Now I'm unsatisfied with what I've created... thank you for sharing! I've got edits to make lol.

  • @epham5
    @epham5 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    GIRL OMG I KNEW YOU LOOKED SOOOOO FAMILIAR!!! you went to my school ahhhhhhh! i'd recognize those RM gyms anywhere :)

  • @goddessdaniela4074
    @goddessdaniela4074 4 ปีที่แล้ว +28

    THIS IS SO GOOD WOW. Can you like publish a book?

  • @kayramaecahayagan8533
    @kayramaecahayagan8533 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Your editing is so good!! What do you use to edit??

  • @aizaflores9824
    @aizaflores9824 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    I LOVE your essay!!!

  • @creativename1590
    @creativename1590 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    that was beautiful. i hope i could write an essay as touching as that hehe. i wish you the best in your future years :)

  • @ValerieAndi
    @ValerieAndi  3 ปีที่แล้ว +36

    p.s. if you're reading this & want last-minute help editing essays email valerieandiw@gmail.com and I'll try my best to help!

    • @saraa964
      @saraa964 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @Hung-Ying (Laura) Lee ikrr 😭

  • @loveyalotz
    @loveyalotz ปีที่แล้ว

    Omg great essay that inspires mine.

  • @michaellau2280
    @michaellau2280 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Awesome vid! Which prompt was this essay for?

    • @ValerieAndi
      @ValerieAndi  4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      I ended up using the open prompt on the Common App, but it could've probably also fit the "event or realization that sparked a period of personal growth" one

  • @rebeccasrandomness3045
    @rebeccasrandomness3045 ปีที่แล้ว

    Wow that was incredible !

  • @jwkuy
    @jwkuy 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    this is so beautiful omfg

  • @sunlight785
    @sunlight785 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    awesome! Refined thoughts!!

  • @mirapatel8580
    @mirapatel8580 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    OMFG SORRY but we just got the same outdoor couch from Costco and I just ordered the SAME sweater I'm screaming

    • @ValerieAndi
      @ValerieAndi  4 ปีที่แล้ว

      hahaha we love costco

  • @kaitlyng7850
    @kaitlyng7850 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    I don't know if you'll see this, but I am currently writing my essay and I want to know how many paragraphs should the essay be? My friend said to split up my writing into paragraphs but right now I have it just one big paragraph that tells a story. Does it matter if it's split up or as long as it tells a story it's ok? Thanks! Btw your essay was amazing and I really enjoyed it!

    • @ValerieAndi
      @ValerieAndi  4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      I'd definitely say to split it into paragraphs if you're talking about the common app essay. To have 650 words all in one paragraph would be harder to read! Even if you're telling a story, split it into different chunks. I'll talk more about organization in my upcoming video so stay tuned ;)

  • @B_Bunny_
    @B_Bunny_ 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    “I’m sorry if that was a bit underwhelming” oof cmon man don’t play with us crackheads like that ;-;

  • @laryssaalvarez8491
    @laryssaalvarez8491 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    I loved listening , thank you.

  • @varshapatibandla485
    @varshapatibandla485 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Thanks for sharing!

  • @El_Funky_Habibi
    @El_Funky_Habibi 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    I liked this so much! Thank you.

  • @xxvoid4
    @xxvoid4 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Meanwhile my essay will be about my SA and being in and out of metal hospitals

  • @bethanysullivan4755
    @bethanysullivan4755 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    This video was amazing!

  • @shieru3625
    @shieru3625 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    It is very good, our teacher let us watch your video and I got inspired by your essay

  • @calebjordan1311
    @calebjordan1311 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I- that was so good omg

  • @harpermartin7813
    @harpermartin7813 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you so much for sharing!

  • @vinowakart
    @vinowakart 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thanks for sharing essay. Love it!

  • @neilaeaddy
    @neilaeaddy 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    this is beautiful

  • @gwendolynneger1389
    @gwendolynneger1389 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    THAT WAS SO GOOD OMG

  • @orangemonks894
    @orangemonks894 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Rather than trying to fit 30 hours into a day, I will fully appreciate the 24 hours that I have.
    Get that on a motherflippin tshirt

  • @1ordmag
    @1ordmag 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    this Is sooo sooo good

  • @anurupasaha8051
    @anurupasaha8051 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    that was so beautiful thanks for sharing xx