Conflict - Use It, Don’t Defuse It | CrisMarie Campbell & Susan Clarke | TEDxWhitefish
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 12 ก.ค. 2015
- Conflict is an Energy Source. Why You Should Listen
The #1 source of pain on a team, or in any relationship, is conflict. What if conflict wasn’t good or bad? What if conflict was an energy source your team could harness to produce innovative, creative, and transformational results? Invest 18 minutes learning the two magic ingredients and how you can put them to work with any team you care about.
CrisMarie Campbell and Susan Clarke have spent over 15 years working with hundreds of business leaders and their teams across many industries. Their clients call them “The Team Doctors” because of their expert, laser-like focus on the health of the team in order to get to smart business results.
What makes them experts? They are a team. CrisMarie and Susan are work and life partners. Plus, they each have very different styles and approaches to conflict. What they do agree on is that conflict is healthy and a natural part of every relationship. So use it, don’t defuse it!
This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at ted.com/tedx
These women really put their hearts and souls into this presentation.
My natural instinct is to fight and then flee in a conflict situation because I don't like feeling vulnerable. I have worked hard in recent years to be more patient, calm, and vulnerable when faced with conflict. I don't believe people should keep their feelings locked up inside. That isn't healthy. But yelling isn't healthy either. There needs to be room for people to speak their truth...no matter how uncomfortable it may be...and have their viewpoint acknowledged and valued. TY for the reminder that vulnerability and curiosity is a part of resolving conflict. The answer to a conflict lies inside of the conflict. Be it with teams or in personal relationships. 👍🙏
Conflict - confuse it. I won't forget this talk for a while. Thank you!
I think this is an earlier version of this presentation so not polished. But I like it. They speak about using vulnerability (essentially admitting your feelings) and curiosity (questioning what is really going on here?) to address conflict. I look forward to seeing a presentation from them at a later time. These 2 women have triumphed over tremendous abuse, and are thriving and using their gains to help others. Bravo!
Well said -- the problem is not that we have judgments, but that we get attached to them rather than taking responsibility for them and being open to letting them go.
I'm gonna try to summarise this in my own words 🤔 If you feel something or aren't comfortable with something, you should engage in conflict to solve the issue. Be vulnerable, show or express your inner feelings with honesty and own your opinion as its who you are, and you're worth hearing. Then become curious with their opinion or side of the conflict to explore what they have to say. Hopefully you'll find middle ground where both become aware of others feelings and compromise or collaborate to respect each others opinions.
1.Time in phrase resonates with me rather than time out
2. Focus on behavior that restores sense of community
3. Raise and nurture human beings rather than human doings
4 community circles rock!
Well done to the 2 women! I appreciate their message about staying with conflict, rather than trying to escape it. Also, their honesty and openness about their formative childhood experiences which shaped their relationship to conflict. 👍🏾
I'm not a huge fan of Tedex talks, but this one is quite good and very close to home for me. 'Suzie' was a childhood friend and the 'charismatic camp director' she mentions was my father. Our paths have diverged yet we both have stumbled our way into speaking the truth to power. The day before International Women's Day, remember to do your part to stop the violence against women and children.
not sure I ever replied to this - but your words mean a lot! Indeed we have stumbled and found our path to speaking our truth.
Wow. Those are two incredible comments. I have never seen anything like it before, anywhere, in online forums. Susan i commend you for your reply and Josrphine, you show real courage. I'm still trying to absorb this important talk, I honestly can't wrap my mind around this. Kudos.
Wow!
Susan you are an absolutely amazing person for this! Thank you too Josephine...for taking a stance for what's right even though he's family. This was a brilliant TED talk. Absolutely brilliant.
I love the trip ups and mistakes. It made them more personable i appreciated it
Love that you blew the closer. It just makes it a more memorable moment. Great talk.
Wonderfully transparent and useful advice. This is also the best path to all conflict resolution. Be honest. Be open. Be vulnerable. Be human. CrisMarie and Susan encourage us all to dispense with the B.S. and posturing and to just get to the job at hand. Life is simply too short to keep putting off conflicts that must be surmounted if both sides truly hope to thrive.
They have so much practice ahead of them to become better communicators but their perfectibility make their message even more powerful. I live them both more for the many mistakes they make. They have the courage to get in the arena. Thank you both!
I came home from work wanting to leave my job last night (a job I really love). This discussion prompted another perspective and I am grateful for this presentation.
Thank you!
So, how are things now?
Very well done! Effective, personal, and so very "you". Congrats!
I haven't watched many Tedtalks recently, but I saw this and I am going through something with someone in an activist organization and I think I might apply vulnerability and creativity- use it, don't defuse it when we agree to a mediated discussion.
Here’s when they talk about the two ingredients 12:00
thanks
GREAT TALK I completely enjoyed learning a strategy for using conflict at work. Thank you Susan and ChrisMarie
I think they have a worthwhile concept, I would have loved to have heard a concrete solution. It was almost like an infomercial.
This was fantastic, thankyou! And so much courage to share your past, very admirable. I loved the end, made me laugh 😂
Susan, you are my inspiration. I love your words. I listen 4 times. Use it not defuse it.. Great work. :)
Powerful presentation. I love observing how their posture reflects their stories. So much to learn from both Susan and CrisMarie. Definitely a big fan.
What a fun TED Talk! I listen to so many of these to help me with work and it was super fun and super cool to listen to this one. In fact, I loved the gaffes - they made me love this even more! It's okay to be human :)
It's good to get this affirmation because I always advocate that conflict is healthy and believe greatness comes out of it.its not so easy though because most people run from conflict then I end up being the odd one out who wants to engage in actual fact it is because I hate conflict hence I want to engage with ig and have it resolved but other see it in a negative light but I never loose sight of my intention but lately I must admit I'm losing heart because its tiring to engage all the time so I diffuse mostly emotionally which never works really because my true self is engaging
Wow ! Am enjoying this talk about conflicts!! I am so scared of conflicts and confrontations! to the degree I let people take my money bully me and disrespect me and I set angry sad in my closet! From now I will use my conflicts to get ahead in my life ! !
Everything is awesome, including this talk and the two of you. Fantastic! Thank you!
Wowza
What is conflict? How conflict happens. In this regard, he gave information in a very beautiful way. For this, in his lecture gave excellent examples from experience.
I love these two, such a great talk; thank you Susan and Cris Marie!
I’m Sri i
Haha. The ending lines!
I'm actually shivering because of a fight or flight response at the moment. Thank you for this. I feel a bit of relief after hearing and understanding your knowledge this evening. Thank you for sharing your experiences.
becoming a new manger has me really listening to good advice, I will be using these techniques in my life both personally and business wise.
I love their personal stories and principles of vulnerability and curiosity. Very powerful. I have learned to think of a relationship as a circle. Person A acts and person B reacts, which triggers a reaction in person A, which triggers a new reaction in person B, and so on. So, to resolve conflict I think we have to break out of this collusive cycle. We begin to do so as we recognize that there are really two very different stories going on. Person A has a story and person B has a story. And it’s not a matter of one being right and the other being wrong. In fact, if we believe that one story is right and the other wrong, we shut down communication and move quickly towards polarization.
I've found a good starting point is for me to be curious about the other person's story. When they know I'll listen to their story they'll be open to hearing my story (vulnerability). The key to conflict is not a change in the other person but my willingness to be curious and listen more deeply.
How good is this talk! Thanks to you for this.
This show responsibility is most important thing in every work put your mind in the work you are doing it automatically be done good
I love these ladies!
Thanks for sharing this wonderful experience on conflicts. Sharing experiences makes easy to understand the situations .
this is very well done & Fun!!! Thank you Mikayla
Susan and Cris Marie,such a great talk,thank you
Powerful talk where you are willing to both show up and tell your own stories so that you can then help others learn from your "10,000" hours.
Sabina - love the reference to 10,000 hours - so true - those hours come from teams and just our own journeys! Like your talk one that one voice! Thanks for noticing and commenting!!
I love your story ma'am its very satisfiying to hear your story we have our own story of our lives and i realized all my sins and i learned a lot from this video to spread love to one another and to give importance to one self, to our family and other people. and if you feel that you are in the point of struggle find hope in the way you can possibly do it can be either support and comfort from loved ones and always think that there is always a chance and from there you keep fighting and moving on the climb maybe longer but the view is worth it❤
Thank you for this!! I loved your stories and wisdom shared. I really needed to hear this. Happy New Year!
Thanks so much Jennifer!
Excellent and fantastic discussion and presentation about conflicts and manage and give fruitful findings. Thank you
This was amazing, I love this authenticity
appreciate crismarie sharing her story
Thank you much for this
Great and honest presentation! Lovely and quite informative. Though the talk is on conflict resolution, but there is a loud silence on the embedded testimony of the healing power of God Almighty through the reverend that conducted a healing circle. Such incontrovertible evidence of God's love and presence to help ALL who would give Him a chance! The church, made up of humans is full of flaws BUT NOTHING CAN SEPERATE MAN FROM THE EVERLASTING LOVE OF GOD!
Madams,
Thank you very much for your thought provoking inspirational explanations on good conflicts really excellent.👍🙏
Very informative...love you both
Great talk, thank you.
Wonderful I learned so much from this talk.
Thank you so much
Thank you guys, I love this 😍
Excellent presentation on how to manage conflicts. Thankyou mam
Great talk. I also love the dichotomy of their clothes - one in red against the 'Ted' and one in white/pale pink against the white text. They have totally different approaches to conflict so I have to wonder if this was deliberate, but either way I love it.
Thank you, love the video!
Informative talk about conflict and saying their own experience
Well done Ladies! I enjoyed that 😀
Thank you very much for your thoughts provoking inspirational explanations on good conflict really appreciate
Thank you
This is great. Also, training and managing conflicts online help.
This was good info and funny! Thanks
Wow I learned a lot from this “talk” thank you guys so much 😊
jlamblpn2012 are u sure?
You bet!
You understand nothing, that for sure.
This was such a great TED talk!
Informative session on Conflict,and thank you for sharing your experience
Very informative. Thank you
Very thought provoking
Thank for your valuable excellent lecture.
Informative talk on conflict. Thank you so much
That woman in red jacket…thank you for being honest and relatable
Very interesting and informative. Thank you
Very informative
Very useful talk on conflict managemnt
Wonderful presentation Thanks Madam
Powerful. Thank you!
Thank u for sharing the video
Informative speech about conflict
Informative talk on conflict. I learned a lot from this video Thank you
Nice presentation thank ypu
It is really good to learn new things
Thank You for making me realize of why I'm I so afraid of making mistake.
Most pleasing personalities.
Very nice information, thank you
Interesting Session on Conflict.
Nice lecture... Thank you...
Makes sense and extremely useful
Approach is wow !
I ve never seen such a good duo speech in my life
Great talk thanku
I like this - they came across as real esp when the punch line went a little side ways - encourages me to be real
Excellent - personal, effective, human, courageous, important. Take that, all of you folks who think personal growth concepts and tools are not translatable into business. They apply everywhere. I also loved seeing the two of you "work" together - you're a great promo for Couples Alive at The Haven!
Carole - big thanks - love this endorsement - means a lot!
I love Ted talks but the super-scripted nature of them sometimes gets old. I appreciate that yours was both scripted and relaxed and personal!
Nice presentation...
Very informative video
They match each other
I love them!
God healed you of cancer! Praise be to God! “The Lord sent His word and healed them. Let them give thanks to the Lord for His lovingkindness”
Psalms 107:20-21 AMP
While a few parts of this resonated with me, i cannot stop wondering about the tumors being gone with the explanation of that conflict healing method saved your life. This would imply a scientific approach to sickness of the body, taking away from conflict of the mental aspect. Meshed together to much imo. Having said that....im def the highly passionate arguer. alway think im right when i think im right. seeing other peoples perspective with curiosity and vulnerability? Cannot get that thought out of my head. While you/i may see and understand this, when you ask others their input, the majority of the time, they are just waiting for their turn to put you/your idea down as the next argument. Any thoughts on how to keep people from deflecting?
Nice information
Nice way of presentation
What are the two conflict resolutions tools propped by Clarke and Campbell ?
The topic of this talk is a great choice. But I could not gain any insight on how to approach these types of conflicts in reality.
In the priest scenario, the priest was curious by asking people about their experiences and he was also vupnerable by allowing unfavorable views of him and his religion to be shared openly.
In the business team scenario the angry guy became curious about her idea. He learned what she was valuing with her idea and why her idea was the way it was. He became vulnerable by being open to being wrong.