The Gift of Conflict | Amy E. Gallo | TEDxBroadway

Disagreeing is something most people avoid whenever possible. But Amy Gallo has spent three years researching conflict and shares how staying silent can be damaging, and how speaking up when you disagree can be productive, as long as it’s done with compassion and kindness. In a world where people increasingly avoid conflict by seeking out those who see things the same way, Gallo outlines tools to navigate disagreements and approach conflict with calm and confidence. Plus, she shares a mantra that everyone will want to remember. Amy E. Gallo is an expert in conflict, communication and workplace dynamics. She is the author of the HBR Guide to Dealing with Conflict, a how-to guidebook that combines the latest management research with practical advice to deliver evidence-based ideas on how to handle conflict professionally and productively. She is a co-host of HBR’s Women at Work podcast, which is currently in its third season. In her role as a contributing editor at Harvard Business Review, she writes frequently about communicating ideas, leading and influencing people, and building your career. She has contributed to numerous books on feedback, emotional intelligence and managing others, and is the coauthor of the HBR Guide to Building Your Business Case. Gallo is on the faculty of the Emotional Intelligence Coaching Certification program, recently launched by Daniel Goleman, author of Emotional Intelligence. She taught at Brown University and is a graduate of both Brown and Yale University. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx

[@kathyboothe9141]

Thank you, Amy! Feeling "voiceless" hit home with me too. Staying quiet, running away from the conversation, shutting down, paralyzed, out of the fear of confrontation - is all lumped together in your brain bc your brain can't distinguish between a tough conversation and an actual crisis that is occurring. That when we are stressed, the brain is cloudy because it is actually saving its energy to run. Perfect explanation and makes complete sense now. Powerful!! I love the tool of depersonalizing the conversation because it really isn't all about me.

[@jjyy8767]

Just when I feel down for disagreeing, your words make me feel a little better. Thank you.

[@darrellharmon6130]

What a masterful presentation. It's a crash course in productive conflict. (It reminds me of the books Crucial Conversations and Difficult Conversations.) Well done!

[@joanneheyman3759]

This is so smart, funny, instructive and humane!

[@patriciafachinipontalti7585]

Thank you so much, Amy!!!! The Gift actually was listening to you!!!!!

[@typython6999]

Just when it looked like this speech had everything out came the bongo drum!

[@maryamrashidi2329]

What a GREAT speech, and what a WONDERFUL speaker! I sometimes find TEDx talks complacent and boring... But this one, I TRULY enjoyed - and automatically clapped at the end! Thank you!

[@melonydee]

Wow. What an amazing talk. I also was molested at the age of 10 and did not tell. I also find it very hard to speak up. I also want people to like me, and I shy away from conflict. I have worked on myself for 35 years, and now I learn the lesson of conflict with compassion and forgiveness. I accept that sometimes people are going to be mad at me, and that's okay. Thank you. Thta's valueable advice.

[@bryanwalker4755]

Why does this not have more likes?

[@aniketghule4818]

I am actually very happy and inspired after a long time watching a TED talk. There are a lot of TED talk videos out there, and not each and every video will inspire you or relate to you at that specific point in time, it can maybe in the future or maybe never, TED talks are where people share their own experiences of their lives. either you can relate to it or you don't. but that doesn't mean that you should criticize it. " Sometimes People can be MAD at you and that's OK" :)

[@kellycho4398]

My favorite Ted talk so far! Thank you so much for this talk.

[@moragmcgill]

Couldn't agree more with the concepts and beautifully put!

[@portarican82]

The issue for me is not the act of disagreeing, but making the assumption that the other person has the intelligence, competence and ability to seek a dialogue to resolve the disagreement.

[@jujugoketo3711]

So grateful for these words.

[@dr.anupriyasingh4273]

I shared it with my class. Lovely talk.

[@vanessablanc2074]

“Maybe they’re on their way to buy helmets.” ❤

[@user-mg2fg8dc9e]

This is directed for "passive" characters only. She should also try to address the aggressive charachter (in terms of being assertive).

[@sneakerbabeful]

The "gift" of conflict is a ruined life.