3 Things: Open marriage post, Husband doesn't like wife's friends, Deadbeat dad wants to reconnect
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 21 ก.ย. 2024
- My (30F) husband (33M) wanted to open the marriage two years ago and after months of guilt tripping I eventually agreed.
AITAH for asking my wife not to hang out with her friend who has a different lifestyle than us because I'm afraid of losing her?
Father (50m) wanting a relationship with me (30f) because step kids aren't his "real kids"
#relationships #burbnbougie #marriage #storytime #reddit #4bs #aita #emotionalstruggle #personalexperience #openmarriage #findoutseason #fafo
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the minute she gets pregnant, watch him be ready to open the marriage back up. New baby that will be all her responsibility, will do a number on her body, perfect way to keep her trapped
Best comment ever!!! So true.
While whining that she has less time for him "because of the baby", instead of him working WITH her to take care of the baby.
Yes, babies are a lot of work and are exhausting, but taking care of your child is part of the bonding. Instead of whining that they're not getting more attention, fathers need to give more attention to their kids. They'll get to bond more with the children that way.
@@Lokian_Mermaid a perfect solution would be for the wife to go out without warning and force him to actually parent.
OMG!💯🎯
💯 He has even been shown repeatedly to do these 180°s.
And shown to force his will relentlessly, getting her to agree to open the marriage.
He might totally babytrap her, by 'accident' or steady manipulation.
Story 2.. he wants his wife’s world to revolve around him. Selfish king baby.
@@catxtrallways Melanie is awesome. I love her videos.
I hate that second husband so much. "This relationship would change her for the worst". 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬
Me too, I really hope his wife leaves him.
She will probably have to leave him. Especially if he refuses to accept that his wife deserves to have friends and a fulfilling life. He has friends, hobbies etc but doesn’t want her too? Thats super shitty of him.
Me, too! We all have insecurities but I would never block my partner from something that gives him joy and fulfillment.
He said he was afraid she’ll turn into someone else….what the FCK if that’s who she’s always been. Literally feel nauseous it’s so damn selfish. How do you disregard her first love when you MET her in school?!
Some complete bs he made up in his head smh it aggravates me when grown people don't take responsibility for their own feelings
As soon as he said she was coming home happy and that bothered him… immediate asshole.
For the second story he needs to leave his wife alone and let her have her friend and use her brain smh. He made it sound like her friends are drug abusers and ladies of the night lol smfh threatened
He's mad his wife appliance is upgrading her software and actually wants intellectual stimulation which he does not give her.
He's quite a pathetic man. His wife found people she clicks with and sees her potential in her art, and that's a threat to him
EXACTLY 💯
Yeah I was thinking they were going out clubbing or something. He doesn't even want her to write for the magazine. How much control does he have on her? How much of her life does he want to squash?
Right? He's so intimidated by intelligent people that like stuff other than his.
He will be more likely to LOSE her if he tries to tie her down.
The second husband is the epitome of the silicone valley “nice guy” husband who has no real love for his wife as a human. He just loves his wife appliance.
I see the second guy in every man that tries to marry asap in college.
First Story: She needs to leave that marriage as soon as possible before he puts holes in the condom. That man is dangerous.
She should absolutely not get pregnant!!! Omg
I notice wife has been working hard to stay fit, but she doesn’t say what he’s been doing to stay fit and healthy… another hint that he overestimated his market value
Ohhh... good catch!
😂😂😂😂😂😂
And he’s attempting to ruin that by giving her a baby. Don’t fall for it! Using babies as a humbling tactic is a well kept secret.
Right I think we can all imagine what the husband looks like...
The second husband is a hater.... like gasp 😱 friends of different genders... the wife is bored AF them kids are 14 and 12, she don't need to be home anymore. He just wants to isolate her and keep her as a wife appliance
FACTS. HE IS JEALOUS AF
Pretty much. She is living with the opp!
Who wants to bet her getting pregnant before even finishing college wasn’t such an accident
Sounds like he uses the Bible as a weapon.
So he wanted an open marriage from his side. Not hers.. welp. He played in her face and now he’s looking stupid. I love this for him! I hope she divorces him.
Exactly. He only wanted an open marriage at HIS convenience.
I hope she leaves him, remarries and has the kids she wanted to begin with! He can have all the relationships he wants.
Story 2: Ladies, an insecure man will never get you a secure relationship or marriage.
The husband in story #2 has some nerve. He complains about sitting through 1 "tiresome" dinner where he wasn't the centre of attention - how many tiresome dinners did his wife have to sit through with his work colleagues?! I hope she leaves his whiny ass.
He wanted an open marraige now he closes it . This woman deserves better than this real life version of peter griffin who has stupid ideas
He'll just do it secretly
He really thought he was the best guy out there lol
Second dude is mad that he has to go to dinners with people who talk about literature when he’s not into it when he admits their social life for years has been with his techy work friends? Of course he doesn’t want it to change. He’s had the perfect life and she’s been bored and lonely but who cares when he has what he wants?
NEXT SHE WILL GO BACK TO SCHOOL, CONTINUE TO GET MORE FRIENDS AND WRITE REVIEWS AND GET A DIVORCE 😊
Story number 2 The husband sucks and Anna sound's Amazing 🤩🤩 The Wife should choose Anna.
I predict the husband will keep cheating after they “close” the marriage. And the baby.. yeah. Classic baby trap. So she will be at home barefoot and pregnant and then stuck with a baby while he does no parenting and is out on the town like he has no responsibilities. Leave this man!
@@The13thGoddessAriesa bear will never forever remember and label you as "the one that got away", they'll just continue to live their life after prey escapes
Earlier this week, my oldest daughter asked me, "Why is your baby daddy calling me?" I couldn't do anything but laugh. 🤣 He did nothing to build a relationship with my three children and now all of them have gone no contact.
Damn lol I'm sorry he didn't build good relationships with them but the lack of attachment from your daughter is beautiful 😂 pretty much how I am with my father. Pour into the people who've poured into you ❤
Imagine how bad your behavior must be when a man, A MAN calls you out on your behavior….. my spidey senses say he is majorly downplaying his abuse and controlling behaviors.
I can't forbid you but.... Yeah that was some manipulation.
It's giving "you want me to be happy, right?"
He is triangulating his wife.
Omg being afraid of "losing" his wife TO HER OWN DANG PERSONALITY AND INTERESTS, also being only able to accept pretty much the same view his wife gave him about her own hurts when it came out of the mouth of a man instead
The second husband in a couple of years, after wife shutdown and previously communicated her needs to him: I don't know why my wife wants a divorce, why is she crazy?
Exactly 💯 💯
Race car/gun range guys usually lean conservative. Best to avoid.
As someone in the military: yeaah. I am not trying to lay with any of these. Fortunately the women still lean more progressive (there's still a lot of conservatives though). Dating is a mess and I will not be playing that game
The husband is jealous of Anna and that his wife has a life of her own. This is beyond weird.
3. So many deadbeat dads start coming around when nothing is expected of him and the work of raising the kids is done. And act like heroes for doing it. 🙄
I really felt the third story. My deadbeat, Father, in his seventies is now begging me for a relationship because he's alone, unwell, and wants someone to look after him. I said, "I forgive you, but I am not interested in a relationship. The audacity!! He has never even sent me a birthday card....
He doesn't want a child, he just wants something that will make the wife tied down, and his best idea for it was a child. He sees a kid as a tool to get what he wants. He doesn't deserve to have any child. He would make the childcare 100% her responsibilty. Also seems like he doesn't participate in her hobbies like she does. He really sucks, and he was already showing signs before. It seems like she is the only one who puts the effort into that relationship. Time to go, girl!
That’s why he’s freaking out lol
Also, if they divorce, this husband would 100% be one of those dads who barely see the kids and resents every cent of alimony.
The 2nd one.. smh, that dude is so selfish, focused on himself and his feelings. What about her feelings? Props on his brother for thinking about his sister in law and giving him solid advice. If he's smart, he'll listen to it
Story 1. It's because Manosphere gurus constantly say that men age like wine and women like older men.
Sweet lies sells better than bitter truth, manosphere gurus only cares for money. Didn't that Tate guy scammed millions from men by using women he trapped and made work for him? But those guys are desperate to think their gurus cares for them and absolutely is not in it for money, power and sabotaging younger guys chances to have relationships.
Durimh the winemaking process, something like 90% of all wine turns into vinegar.
They hold up examples of male aging like George Clooney, while neglecting to mention that he looks like he does because actress Rosenary Clooney bequeathed him her stellar genes.
He still wants an open marriage (for himself) and it's likely that he really doesn't want children. He just wants to close his wife's options and keep her at home and trapped with a baby that he won't have time for.
Burb is too funny "is she dropping it like it's hot and then picking it up slow." 😂
And I throw it in there so smoothly. Lol 🤣
@@BurbNBougie you do! Lol
I haven't even watched the video and i know how the Open Marriage story is going to play out 🤨🤨😒😒 Men who get married then ask for open marriage after being monogamous are all the same.
Last "open relashionship" I had with a guy that asked for it he got severely depressed after realizing I was dating a hot, strong boy ... To the point of medication and intervention 😅.
If I still believed in dating men and I hit married if he even asked for sn open marriage it would be over. They’re probably already interested in a person it’s already over
Greedy, male entitlement and duplicitous behavior. The “smart ones” (read: evil) wait until they’ve had kids, because it’s even harder to leave. I believe they know before marriage that they plan to try this once they get “bored” or feel “tempted”. They think an open marriage will let them eat their cake and have it.
Men are delusional about their s*xual prowess. Men say yes to about just anyone willing because they really don't have women lining up to be with them. Women actually turn away most potential suitors.
What about the women who agree to the one sided open relationship? I wonder how that dynamic plays out in the end. Dos she ever get good with that and it’s not an issue??
First story - she was jumping through hoops for him but it was still never enough 🙄 We all need to stop doing so much for them 😶
Ephesians 6:4
Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger
1. Again a man wanting an open marriage and thinking all women wanting him. Per usual other men wanted his wife and was able to do all the things he never did for his wife and now he mad.
He got what he asked for! I hope she files for divorce. He will weaponize the open marriage he wanted against her and will abandoned her if she has a baby or not. Leave honey! He’s getting everything he deserves and he has the audacity to change the rules when he sees his wife being desired by other men. That man is selfish!
2. That man wants his wife to have no ID outside of being his wife and a mother. He sounds resentful and jealous that his wife’s friend and her husband has a life he is envious of. He’s jealous and scared that his wife will level up like her friend then leave him. He acts like her friend his a low life and isn’t. Her friend represents what is missing in his wife’s life. Clearly he spends no time with his wife and she only does the things he wants to do. His wife will resent him and eventually divorce. He treats her like a piece of property and he’s selfish. This is why getting married in your 20s isn’t a good idea. This is the result every time. Those children will be off to college and once that happens I doubt she will want to continue laying up under him doing nothing with her life outside of marriage. She needs to work on getting her own income. He’s a total AH!
3. Let him pass away alone. These type of deadbeats do not deserve to have relationships with their adult children. He’s looking for a hospice care child to care for him and all the women and those streets he loved need to help him or wait they won’t. No let his wife deal with him she don’t owe him a relationship. Leave the Bible out of it since these folks never follow the entire Bible. He abandoned her and all his other kids. He made his choice she owes him nothing in his old age!
My dad is a deadbeat Bible thumper too. It’s still hard to watch him age and I think he is scared of being alone in the end, but he does nothing to prevent it. It’s depressing to watch. I try not to interact with him much
Those dudes probably had her growling like a demon. Lol! It’s find out season and I love. Yet another guy who underestimated his wife’s value.
1. Hubby is sad he is NOT the prize. 🤣
2. Big brother is correct! Don’t let insecurity ruin everything
3. F that dude. You survived childhood without him and will continue to thrive ❤
Story #2
If he were so concerned about the other men and their liberal pov, why tell his wife not to write her reviews? Seriously, he can't handle her writing a couple of pieces for a magazine? I bet he babytrapped her into marriage and giving up her career. Taking her career away was important to him. He's terrified she'll meet another progressive man who won't stop her from doing what she clearly enjoys. Treat her better too, his "fairly conservative" is probably fullout redpill BS.
First story guy probably thought his wife wouldn't ACTUALLY start seeing other people because women are supposed to only want one man forever and ever while men sleep around. So he could say he was in an open relationship and pick up random women on the apps while fully confident his wife was, deep down, too loyal to her marriage to really try to find other men.
1st story, He wanted the marriage to be "open" for him, not her. He was happy when he could play around while she stayed home, and only partook in his hobbies. He wants to tie her down with a baby while he plays around. She should be careful that he doesn't tamper with her BC. 2nd story, the husband is selfish, controlling and a hater. He doesn't want his wife to have a life outside of him.
S2: That's why i always say never be a SAHM unless you're generationally wealthy or you have money coming from somewhere. I just know with the way she keeled over and let him influence her decision on keeping her friends tells me he's huffed and puffed when things haven't gone his way before. Money is freedom and she's living as though she's in debt to keep up the current lifestyle. But at the end of the day the debtor is at the mercy of the lender and y'all should remember that.
It’s sad seeing these women be doormats by these men, they deserve so much better!
She didn’t even mention that he hadn’t been getting enough connections. He just doesn’t want her to have any. All for me and none for thee, toddler hoards all the toys even though he won’t play with all of them and hates toy trucks
I wish men understood how infuriating and heartbreaking it can be when their wives tell them what they are feeling and what they are craving, but he can only "hear" it when another man says the same thing.
Every woman understands that men just don't believe us. They don't believe us about the most basic things. My mother and my sister could tell their husbands that it is starting to rain outside, only to have my dad and brother-in-law look at them and say "no It isn't!" without even looking.
I am loathe to use the term gaslighting in a way that dilutes it very powerful, meaning. I see so many people insisting that it is gaslighting when someone simply disagrees with them, and isn't making them question their reality.
But sometimes, being a woman in any relationship to a man is like being gaslighted because men just don't believe anything we say, almost. Our lived experiences are not credible to most of them.
I just can't get over this husband dismissing his wife's lived experiences, only to heed them when his brother says the same thing.
Men only listen to other men.
So sad.
My deadbeat "dad" is finding out now that he is almost 80.... Wishes he had kids to help... I help him like he helped me. .which is to say not at all.
That's not true, you're helping him by teaching self reliance! 😂
2nd story: Wife had a degree in a field that OP deemed would be “difficult to find a well-paying job”. The wife’s friend showed she could have found a job in her field had she continued with her education. Op has nothing to say anything as he has “no idea about literature”. I imagine the wife felt the same way around his techy colleagues and wives. I bet the wife’s friend and husband picked up on his lack of knowledge on anything that is not tech related and he’s sitting there in silence. (I love this) He’s scared to death his wife is going to become independent and want more freedom like furthering her education, getting a job, a paycheck and people she can actually converse and relate to. Poor OP. 🙃🙃
That first story..the guy didn't get the open marriage memo..when it's initiated, there's no take backies😂😂
First story is a tale as old as time. You tire of playing with your toy and toss it aside. But as soon as someone else is interested in the toy that YOU tossed aside, NOW you want it all to yourself again.
He didn't want her, but he also didn't want anyone else to want her either.
Its wild how women will try to support or paretake in their partners hobbies and interests but men refuses to do the bare minimum and support her....which will be the nail in the coffin...she is looking to grow in this area and he's like nah i dont think so. 😂😂 we shall see how this ends though
Just reading the beginning paragraphs on how she was breaking herself into a million pieces just to make him happy exhausted me, again this emphasises how husbands view themselves as the marriage and how wives live in agreement.
She mentioned nothing about how he moved heaven and earth to meet her needs, i bet he wasn't even fit.
2….the moment she says I feel depressed and lonely it’s his job to make it as easy as possible for her to get her healthy mental stability back That’s with positive friends and a healthy hobby or career let her choose ❤
Husband: AITAH
BurbnBougie: ABSOLUTELY!
Me: LMAO
Girl, you’re hilarious
So funny. I heard "anchor baby" as "ankle baby, " thought of an ankle monitor, and laughed my butt off.
"I won't let my wife leave the house without becoming an insecure jerk. I'd rather her be miserable and depressed. I don't think she'll leave me or something much more tragic." I don't know if that is real, but I have seen it before. Acting like that will ruin your relationship. As long as everybody is open to meeting and hanging out with both people in the relationship I don't know why the gender matters. If people are going to cheat that's what they are going to do. I know it's hard, but if you don't trust your significant other there's no respect and that's going to end your relationship.
It is so sad that people are in relationships where they think their partner is only with them for lack of options. I would not even want that type of relationship
YEAH FIRST STORY LADY AND SECOND STORY LADY NEED DIVORCES ASAP
1…..she catered toooo much in him and not Herself
That’s the problem
Jumping through all their hoops will not satisfy xys. Catering to his kinks? No thanks.
I love these open marriage post! Do more! Lol
Same. It is the same story over and over but it never gets old 😂😂😂
I perked up like I had 2 cups of coffee upon seeing that post!! 😂😂
@@BurbNBougie haha me too! Every time you do these stories I am quick to click the video
@@katherines144 you would think they would learn through other men, but they like to learn the hard way.
@@BurbNBougie let us know if there is an update.
Men get extremely jealous and possessive, no matter how non-monogamous they are. One guy would lose his mind just from me having conversations. Like the wife in the first story, those people (not even always guys, but guys triggered him most) would ask about my day and interests and genuinely listen.
2nd story Im side-eyeing her just suddenly falling pregnant then here he comes, “oh don’t worry sweetheart let’s get married and you stay home”. Mhmm 👁️🔍. Then all the details make him sound uptight and controlling.
Among other things last story really highlights the adultification of black girls and infantilization of black men. She's an adult now, but the child in this relationship and I'm sure onus was still on her as s child
A lot of men have children in their youth as forward planning for their future selves in later life. They think that being of the same blood is enough to force responsibility on their children to reconnect and eventually take care of them in later in life. Notice that it’s always their female kids; their daughters, never their son because they know full well their sons will tell them where to go as well as being busy perpetuating the same thing he did in his younger years. Older fathers only reconnect to set up the last season of their lives. They aren’t as agile attractive and healthy as they once were. Things have started to slow down and they realise that they have nothing set up for old age.
They only want the marriage to be open on THEIR side🙄
All of these stories are horrific. I’m so glad to be unmarried. It’s all giving ‘Don’t Worry Darling’.
STORY 1: Wait... I thought that men didn't want women over 30. Somebody lied because his wife is having a great time dating men who dig her.
STORY 2: Another woman over 30. How could he be afraid of losing her? Nobody wants a woman over 30, right?
STORY 3: My father wasn't in my life either as a child growing up. I was raised by a group of women: great-grandma, grandma, then mom when I was a bit older, and even a stepmother for a little while. All of them had been through the ringer with abusive men. This is what ultimately made me decide not to have kids or be married. I saw it as a no-win situation. I don't regret my choice. Her father knows that he's getting older and he's afraid of dying alone. That's why he's shown up at the last minute ready to reconcile. I'd say NO and let him continue to do what he's been doing all my life. Nothing.
The second one is a waste of life. He will listen to his brother about her unhappiness but doesn't listen to his own unhappy wife.
Honestly, I give Story 2 husband credit, he seems like he might be capable of self-awareness. If he can act on that awareness out of compassion and not selfishness, that would show a lot of emotional maturity.
I CONCUR
Imagine how boring you must be if your wife having even one singular hobbie to herself threatens your entire marriage 🙄
I really hope the wife in Story 2 doesn't break off her friendship with Anna. OP is a selfish a-hole. He tells her that he'll work less and spend more time with her. Doing what? The stuff he enjoys? How can you claim to love someone but not even have any interest in what they're passionate about. I hope she sees him for the self-centered man child he is and leaves to pursue her life and passions.
That second guy describes himself as “conservative on family matters,” yet he hoed around and got his wife pregnant before they were married. What a goddam hypocrite.
Every marriage I know that wants “open” relationship has now ended. Seems like they married too young.
Time for the first wife to leave the bozo she married and not have a kid with him at all.
I've never understood this logic..."I didn't get a chance to explore my bachelor life" but weren't you single at some point??? I'd already read both of the stories and it still baffles my mind that people like this exists.
My father was never around. He usually called around our birthdays, and that was it. Pretty much every time he called he would let us know he had bought us a bike for our birthdays, but somehow every year something happened to the bikes. House fire, theft, etc.
He showed up at my job when I was around twenty, and said he wanted to be in mine, and my son's, lives. I agreed, but told him if we make plans for him to come meet his grandson, and he doesn't show, not to contact me ever again. He didn't show, and never contacted me again. It was definitely not a surprise to me, and by that stage in my life it didn't bother me either. When he died I didn't even think of going to his funeral, and I felt no sense of loss. He did that to himself.
Last story is gonna be my dad. He gets sad when we leave him out, but isn’t active when you try to include him. Almost like he just wants the validation of being invited, because “good parents” get included in their children’s celebrations. My sister didn’t invite him to her pinning ceremony, and he seemed almost hurt he wasn’t invited. I’m not inviting him to my graduation either. He’s not the one that got us to this point. He couldn’t even at least fake a supportive attitude. Idk if he lacks that much self-awareness or just feels entitled to being in our lives cause we’re “his” kids.
He’s college educated, so it’s not like he doesn’t understand all that goes into it. This isn’t a “I’m the first to graduate in my family” situation. His behavior is a choice.
S1: *Update from husband's pov* Help! My Wife Is Leaving Me After I Kept Forcing Her To Close Our Relationship And Talked About Baby Trapping Her!
S2: It's like hotline bling from Drake only without the long distance relationship and OP's much more manipulative and controlling. Definitely YTA.
S3: Last time I checked my dad was relaxing in Hawaii and hasn't seen me in years. It's better to cut out parents like that, but even parents who have been there aren't worth being around if they don't love or respect you. I've recently had to learn this.
Was this a real update for S1 or our hope for her? I'm hoping she is leaving and is able to have people value her and her hobbies. ❤
I had a BF who kept wanting to open our relationship but closed it every time after I was the only one to score. LOL. What a loser!
What a honour to be the first view!!. Love your work B
Awesome! 🎉🎉🎉🎉Thank you!
“Only Do Nice Things For People Who Respect You” mentally strong people live by this. Go No Contact. He does not deserve your time, love, or respect.
First story: this is a textbook example of play stupid games, win stupid prizes. She deserves better.
Can we call a spade a spade? Guy 2 is regressive, not conservative. He wants it to go back to the 50s, not conserve the status quo of today. Also now that she's had a taste of a happy life she'll probably wait (and hopefully prepare) the next 6 years until youngest is 18 and then leave. I hope she writes a secret book while she's home alone, publishes after the divorce is final and keeps all the royalties.
The last story is so sad. WTF. Why are theses men having kids if they know, that they don't want them
The contrast between the first two stories is wild to me. Man feels he marries young and missed out on his youth, thinks s€x with other women is the way to make up for it. Vs woman who married young, feels she missed out on experiences outside of family, and makes up for it by reconnecting with an old friend, making new ones, and finding new productive pursuits to occupy herself with. Do the xy people really just boil down their youth and enjoyment of life to accessing as much 🐈 as possible? I'm almost speechless.
The uno reverse stories are something else. These ENM or open marriages are never intended for the wives. They're intended to be for the husband's benefit so they can cheat without guilt. It's so satisfying when these men discover that they've overestimated their market value and the wives underestimate theirs.
As for the second story, that husband is an abuser. Any man who doesn't want you to interact with friends and family outside the house is selfish and insecure. My ex was similar to the husband and it is a major red flag. This guy also doesn't view his wife as a unique human being but as a servant and bangmaid. He's uncomfortable that she now wants to develop her own interests and use her brain.
The BEST kind of relationship or marriage is the one where both people realize that as human beings, it's healthy to morph and change, grow and learn! It's also a fun and beautiful thing~ to learn and grow together.
Many people think Marriage is the finish line, and that any change on one/both persons part isn't OK and is bad or dangerous.
It can be glorious if both accept each other and love one another within that persons growth!
Those who see their partner as a transactional being? Those are the ones who want the other person to "stay the same", and NOT grow and change 😢
A healthy man would absolutely _delight_ in their wife blossoming into the person she's discovering she wants to be! ❤❤❤
16:40 How dare Anna go out with his wife and do things they like to do(sarcasm). SMH. He acted like they were going heaxing.
Husband in that 2nd story doesn't even seem to realize what he's admitting to: He's holding his wife back. If you're worried your partner growing, changing and becoming more of who they are/who they're meant to be is going to mean outgrowing you? That mean's you're holding them back and right to worry. He doesn't see this because his version of "love" is clipping her wings and keeping her in her cage. I'm glad another man was there to step in and he could hear it from him, but even so, the message didn't seem to sink in. Not only is he the AH, he doesn't even realize how BIG of an AH he's being and has been.
I think every woman watch revolutionary road that movie is a blueprint of how these men trap you.
Regarding the first story: Not only does he want to weaponize a child to keep her occupied, but children are a forever tie.
She mentions that unlike him only inviting her to HIS hobbies, these men are taking an interest in her and her interests. It’s funny that he can recognize that comparatively, those men can be better partners for her and instead of stepping up to be a good husband, he wants to limit her. And also, a baby when he didn’t want kids screams that he both will not contribute to child raising and will just use the kid to have access to her if/when they separate.
Soldier dad has worked his "children" into his retirement plan. The step kids probably had their kids in their lives all along and soldier-dad didn't have to take much financial responsibilities on them. Now grown, step kids know "who is their dad". Now, he's in the lurch and will soon be needing "family" in his old age. Let him look for it where he invested in.
The answer to the first situation was obvious. As for the second situation, I respect the fact that the older brother gave him the advice that he did. I hope that situation works out, it seems the husband was insecure.
I relate to the husband that didn’t want his wife to evolve and pursue unique interests a have her own friends.
My ex (an insecure ‘nice guy,’ looking to nest and rest) would not at all admit that my love for studying the Italian language made him uneasy. When I confronted him, he would claim he loved it and supported He wasn’t being transparent or authentic. Anytime I worked on it there was an energy shift. Either he felt it was going to make me go to Italy and meant some Italian guy or, he didn’t know what to do with himself if I was going to do my own thing.
Recurring theme: “we’re married and I want to be happier… I don’t want _you_ to be happier; just me… so what freedoms can we add to me and what limits can we add to you? Of course, I need you to stay married to me so I can continue to be happy. Keeping you here with me where I can look down upon you is a requirement for my happiness.”
Oh God this reminds me of the movie "Hall Pass" where the wives reluctantly agreed to give their husbands/marriage a one-week Hall Pass on the advice of an older woman. Because in her words... these men falsely believe that "if not for you (wives) they would be getting all kinds of laid. And the men spend all week not getting laid & it's starting to dawn on them that their wives have no problem in that area.
2nd story : like most men, this man sees his wife as an NPC who only exists to further his story.
The last story: the father is a narc. She should go no contact to protect herself. She should just not answer when he writes/ calls, like why bother to even make the effort to explain it to him?
Husband was not getting the tail he wanted in an open relationship and resents the fact other men think his wife is attractive. She better be on birth control he cannot mess with.😐 The husband threatened by his wife's friends is a narcissist because he does not want her to have anything that does not involve him or the kids.🙄
I hope the first two women either put their foot down and stop letting their husbands boss them around or get a divorce.
Damn I hope the first dude doesn't babytrap her! Through sabotage or carelessness, or steady manipulation.
He clearly stated he wants to, and has been relentless forcing his will on her before when opening the marriage.
That fuelened by his new jealousy, frustration.. This is a bad, risky situation for her!
You know what...I use to be against opening up a marriage if the man request to do it & won't let it go but after I heard these stories I think it's a good idea. It allows you to have time to plot your next move if you want to leave & to search for your next partner if you do it right 🤣. It's giving "be careful what you wish for" lol.
EXCUSE THE SECOND HUSBAND, I HAVE A LITERATURE DEGREE AND HAVE A JOB IN CONTRACTS FOR A PUBLIC AGENCY. HE NEEDED AN EXCUSE FOR HER TO BE A SAHM
Bro, why did I think he was about to say Anna was a stripper and party hard and Day drink LOL
"He's had 30 years"
For some reason men love to be involved with women who are in a relationship. I got solicited by men way more when I was in relationships that as a single person. They would be more persistent when I told them I was in a relationship.