Got to be the one getting it 1st though. Tried an experiment with a cow, a TV, and a hamster. Almost got arrested for a warcrime for that one. Apparently it had been done before.
Decent clothes and padlocks and policing are only meant for good men. So that they don't get ideas. Bad people just take them as hurdles, to maneuver around or through and to twist to their advantage.
That line always hits so hard, as so much of Dr. Who you just see this lone unarmed man with a sonic screwdriver, a tool, not a weapon. But when angered, he becomes the single greatest treat to whatever he is angry at.
Still like the doctor who episode that highlighted just how bad the wars were Ww1 officer has been taken to space and has an alien from the future explaining to him the cosmos, interstellar entities, the aliens trying to destroy his planet with unfathomable power And the only thing that horrified the officer was his war being referred to as "world war *one*"
😄 A real nice and refreshing way which shows how a diplomatic narrative, inciting mental images through story telling can create a world of its own ...this was brilliant!!
Ah the perfect line to sum the rules up. "These days most of the nations mostly follow the rules most of the time usually...unless they think they can get away with it or angry or bored or Tuesday."
after 12 hours powerpoint presentation on war crimes and laws: "Oh and by the way, this only applies towards other humans. Anything but humans is free real estate. Now about the trade treaties..."
@@jaredhalbrook5098Civilian use of flame throwers aginst aliens? Nope. No law on the books. Might come under discharge of weapon inside city limits, which is a slap on the wrist and community service kind of thing. Best not to go off and explore the rural. Florida boys would slap you on a BBQ, and name a sauce after you. 😅
@@Sigusen Just bgecause you choose to ignore the fact that 'war' is in our nature, as almost all major technological and medicinal advancements have happened during and because of warfare and one side trying to get an edge over the others, doesn't make it less true. If anything, you just hobble yourself. By ignoring human nature, you've made yourself more and more harmless. Thank god we have laws, or people like you would be f**ked.
On French trains, there are seats for "the elderly, pregnant women, the handicapped, and the blind". You would assume that the last one is redundant; isn't a blind person handicapped? Well, that phrase came about as a result of WWI. Due to the sheer number of men blinded by mustard gas, "the blind" was used to label them. Imagine how many people needed to suffer that way for a language to be changed.
@@aynonymosreally I thought that was when they were testing the nuclear bombs that they dropped on japan. I thought the tsar bomb nuclear test was when they erased an island and made what was left into an atoll
1:22 Rodrigues: “A portable nuclear fission rice cooker! Nice! 😊 A few tweaks and I can use it to level half the city! 🤣🤣🤣” Everyone in the room:😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱
Neglected how humans foundational understanding of the human body for medical care was created. How we learned the human body is made of 70% water. The japanese weighed a person then turned them into human jerky and weighed them again.
Their biological experiments were just as bad. They saw the conventions and went 'they must have been banned because they are extremely effective' and ran so many experiments that there are still people living with side affects today. Not survivors of the camps mind you, since there were no known survivors due to them killing all prisoners and destroying the buildings as they retreated, but survivors of the front lines where they would seed an area with a new strain of disease, retreat, and then observe the effects on Chinese soldiers as they rushed into the areas that had been vacated.
Oh they committed some seriously heinous stuff during the war. But, we wanted that information, so we gave immunity for exchange and then didn't really talk about it. Germany was Germany so that's all anyone really remembers unless they are told specifically or really learn history. Japan's camps were monstrous. Any of human fact that makes you go, how could you know that, might be from those camps
Marvel did explaint it,with all those species and trade routes, the Krill kept our planet isolated as a quarantine because all the nuclear weapons stored in the planet, no one wants to mess with that, and they know we would blow our planet before letting other species exploit it and who knows where we would send the rest of the nuclears, good luck tracking a single missile targeted at your planet
Wait wtf, I genuinely thought it was an actual guy reading. It did seem a bit odd at times when it came to bot having the emotions I was expecting in some parts, but thought it was the narrator's choice mostly.
I like to think that the world governments had their leaders get together and decide who to send to give the presentation. After Rodriguez was successful, they got back together and decided to share info on any and all "incidents with household items" for any future meetings. Wouldn't be surprised if Canada or Germany wanted to send one of theirs, but then backed off realizing that might be too much for the Galactic Council to take in.
Had they sent a German: Now, let us talk about some of the medical progress we made during World War II. You know, there was this guy Josef Mengele M.D. who thought that some of the prisoners that had become too weak for work could still be used for experiments, like infecting them with Noma, an illness caused by bacteria that eat your facial tissue before killing you by blood poisoning. When Typhoid Fever went out of control, he sent 600 of his subjects into the gas chambers, and I didn't even tell you about his experiments with twin children yet... Anyways, the allied forces, that freed those concentration camps, especially from a country called "U.S.A." found this to be a good idea and continued like that. Do you prefer to hear about Operation Whitecoat or the Tuskegee Syphilis Study now?
I've listened to a number of stories like this. This is a rare one that I listened to all the way through. Great tale. I couldn't help but laugh a number of times. Keep it up.
the humans going with a sweet smile - the treaty must say 'will never harm earth, her people or her territories, no matter the provocation' meanwhile thanking their lucky stars that the aliens haven't placed any preventative clauses on ANYTHING so the universe is still currently 'right for the grabbing'
Er, technically silly string was deliberately weaponized, not accidentally: you can spray it into a room or down a hallway, and it will land on and expose tripwires without setting them off because it's so light.
"Hey, did I ever tell you about the time we made landmines out of souped up, modified microwaves you would normally have in your kitchen? Those things were a real hoot! Step in the wrong place in a 2.5' wide doorway, and it would boil your insides, explode you, and disintegrate... All at the same time!"
"We also designed fake metal detectors which were really just a big magnet that were so powerful, if a person stepped in one with any metal at all it would forcefully yank it out. So if you had a bit of metal like a coin on your right side, the left magnet would activate and pull it THROUGH you. They were really fun if you had medical implants! There was this one guy who had a metal plate grafted to his skull and a pacemaker. The metal plate bisected him from the inside and the pacemaker was like a reverse harpoon! Fascinating!"
Sending in a marine as a “diplomatic” solution is how you tell someone that in your eyes they don’t deserve to have intelligent human life in their peace talks
It depends on what kind of message you want to send: aliens already had the intelligent people to talk with and came out of it to the wrong conclusions regarding humanity's technological level, creativity capabilities and threat level. It is better to straighten things up before it gets practical.
On the contrary, expanding bullets were developed to prevent unintentional collateral damage by combating over-penetration. As the bullet expands, it reduces the speed, thus lowering the chances of it exiting the other side and putting bystanders at risk. Even if it does go through, it will be at a much lower velocity. This is why they are preferred by police and other law enforcement. The reason why they are banned in warfare is because that same expansion causes more tissue damage.
Also the reason why the US uses the 5.56 over the 7.62 is because the 5.56 pens just enough that it takes 3 combatants off the field. Where the 7.62 will just overpen the target. Even with a severe wound in theory the person hit by the 7.62 can still fight with a though and through wound.
These stories are weird sometimes. There is a line between, "dont mess with/underestimate us" and "youre an existential threat to us all, your peoples should be eradicated." Sounds like to me there isna good reason fornhumans to down play our warfare capabilities. A species with 10k years of advancement over should be able to destabalize our sun or something we can do little about.
i broadly agree, I think the track taken sometimes is these extrasolar/galactic species are sooo far in the future or post-existential conflict (like 10 or 20000, or more years in the future) that theyve actually forgotten how distasteful that kinda warfare is... just think of, as fucked as it is, our use of firearms/bombs etcetc, and culturally sanitized it is, we don't see folk hacking one another to death in the much ...even now some have a difficult time grasping that a thousand years ago it was walls of men crashing into one another and stabbing one another to death, and how gruesome that rly is
Thing is that they don't want to cause harm. They are like very powerful sheep dealing with weak wolf pack. However the power difference makes no difference, sheep behaves like sheep and wolves behave like wolves. So their ideals of being harmless is what makes humans so dangerous as humans don't care any of that and can't be stopped... without becoming humans. It's almost like a paradox. You can't stop evil without becoming evil. There always has to be evil, question only remains how chaotic it is.
Fun fact: I forgot exactly what they are called but america has missiles that when locked on to a fighter jet, it doesn’t just aim for the plane. It aims for the cockpit to kill the pilot.
There's technologically advanced (efficient at the stated purpose), and then there's morally advanced (minimal death). They are not the same thing, but they can coincide (I suspect this human society couldn't quite pull off as efficient a nonlethal takedown even though they're far more efficient at the lethal stuff).
3:45 thats not correct, if I remember correct it began with the rich people / nobelmen not wanting to die while playing wargames which is why it was seen as barbaric to kill a general/commander instead of capturing him, same with the medics later on only later it was about not carrying out the worst possible ways to decimate a population / civilians / enemy army
Germany's staff everyone knows; Japan, some people know, but fewer people know during this period, Ustaše (Croatia) also doing a lot of this horrible staff, even more horrible than Germans and some of them was horrifide of what Ustaše does
"For some reason, we were stabbing each other with sporks and I hit him hard enough right in the forehead," Jason said. "I just remember the next day his dad had him under his arm and he had four little spork dots." Jason, the elder Kelce brother, explained that he was involved in an incident while "playing at a cafeteria table" with another student and a spork. Ed's reaction to the school was to ask, "Why weren't you watching him?" during the spork incident.
I think that's a reference to when a Ranger managed to take out a terrorist in a surprise attack. When the terrorist attacked, the only item the Ranger could lay his hands on was an MRE spoon. And yes, he ended that terrorist with that spoon.
Minor quibble, GPS was initially devised FOR the military. The system can still be set, at the flick of a switch, to reduce 'civilian' accuracy to within one kilometer of actual position, while military receivers can still read the accuracy of within one meter. The reason the military decrypted the 'fine detail' signal was because the Federal Aviation Administration begged them to do it so they could use the GPS system for commercial planes, as the existing system of radio beacon towers were failing and 'Congress' wasn't giving the FAA the budget to repair and maintain the radio beacons.
did you know the story where a human contractor slep trough and end the war while sleeping on the frontline and the aliencomander and the doctor where just scratching theyr heads?
"Did ya think every battle in history was just some part of a big ol' conspiracy? Bullsh-t! War is a part'a who we are. Why fight it? Besides, none of this is gonna matter in 3 hours. Demand for PMCs is about to skyrocket. Like the good ol' days after 9-11!" - Sundowner, Metal Gear Rising: Revengence
Name: USS Invictus (D-107) Class: Valiant-Class Battleship Role: Deep Space Strategic Command & Heavy Assault Length: 1,100 meters Beam: 225 meters Height: 75 meters Mass: 250,000 tons Crew Capacity: 1,500 (including combat crew, officers, and engineers) Secondary Crew (Support/Science): 500 Armament: Main Weapon Systems: Phase Cannon Array: 8 main cannons, capable of firing concentrated bursts of plasma energy at sub-light and faster-than-light speeds. Antimatter Torpedo Bays: 6, with a payload of 100 torpedoes, capable of generating massive shockwaves and devastation upon impact. Graviton Disruptor Cannons: 4, capable of distorting the fabric of space-time to create localized gravitational anomalies that can disable enemy ships or pull them into deadly gravitational wells. Point Defense Systems: Quantum Flak Turrets: 30 rotating turrets, each armed with nanosecond burst lasers and rapid-fire energy projectiles for intercepting incoming missiles and projectiles. Plasma Burst Shredders: 20 on-board turrets that release plasma streams to burn through incoming fighters or smaller ships. Missile Launchers: 12 multi-purpose missile pods, designed for high-velocity, precision-guided attacks or electromagnetic pulse strikes against enemy shields and electronic systems. EMP Pulse Cannons: 4, capable of creating a burst that disables enemy electronics, weapons, and shields for a brief period, ideal for turning the tide of battle. Shields and Armor: Phase Shielding System: An advanced multi-layered energy shield that bends and redirects incoming fire, absorbing energy and re-directing it into the ship’s systems for added power. Reinforced Titanium-Platinum Armor: Able to withstand direct hits from heavy plasma weapons, as well as most kinetic impacts. Regenerative Hull: The outer layers of the hull are designed with self-repairing nanomaterial, allowing minor damage to be restored within minutes. Propulsion: Hyperdrive Engine: Capable of faster-than-light travel, with a range of 100 light-years before requiring recalibration. Ion Thrusters: For precision maneuvers in space, allowing the ship to make rapid course corrections even in hostile environments. Graviton Drive: A unique propulsion system that manipulates gravity fields to push the ship at extreme speeds in deep space, offering unparalleled agility for its size. Special Features: Command Bridge: A state-of-the-art tactical command center with holographic projections, an advanced AI tactical assistant, and integrated communications systems for real-time battle analysis and coordination with allied forces. Fighter Bays: 10 hangar bays capable of launching 200 fighter craft (mainly multi-role interceptors and bomber variants). Science Lab & Medical Bay: Equipped with advanced diagnostic tools, and capable of conducting large-scale research, from biological studies to advanced weapon development. AI Companion "Sentinel": An AI that provides real-time battlefield analysis, coordinates strategic assaults, and integrates seamlessly with the ship's weapon systems for automated or semi-automated targeting. History: The USS Invictus was commissioned as a flagship of the Federation's deep-space fleet during a time of galactic unrest. Designed for long-range engagements and strategic dominance, it boasts not only formidable firepower but also cutting-edge technology to ensure its place at the forefront of interstellar warfare. The Invictus's missions have ranged from planetary defense to full-scale military operations in hostile territories, where its overwhelming firepower and defensive capabilities have earned it the nickname "The Indomitable." Motto: "Through the Void, We Prevail."
Alien: "Your species developed these weapons, for fun?!" Rodriguez: "Well sure! Nothing bring out human creativity like figuring new ways to blow stuff up!'" Made me laugh so hard. 😂😂
The human diplomat WAS a Marine...though the whole shtick of Rodriguez having his hands in his pockets while talking with the alien diplomats made my teeth itch. No actual jarhead who has been through boot camp would EVER contemplate having their hands in their pockets... not even to sheath their knife hands.
imagine that rodriguez is the grandfather of the rodruiges who repaired a badly damaged ship despite the fact thet there are several savety protokol in place to protect other species from humans (another scyfy story
Human: if aliens visit us they will have super powerful weapons to wipe us out instantly. Aliens: crying in fetal position in corner because all his friends are dead from stepping on a misplaced landmine.
... hollow point rounds are not designed for maximum tissue damage. They are designed to shoot your target and not the class of children standing behind your target. (Not overpenetrate your target). But those happen to be the same thing from a physics perspective, so...
If it's the same incident I'm thinking of, it was an MRE spoon, the green flexible ones, not a spork. Gods bless the Rangers. I think it was a Ranger. That or a Marine. Either or.
He forgot to explain AT rifle firing squads :(:(:( makes a version where James explains human Anti Tank rifle firings squads to the council (ATR firing squads where almost kept a secret until some archive inspector found footage of times in World War One where anti tank rifles a weapon designed to only disable tanks where housed by large numbers against one prisoner resulting in the prisoners korps being nothing but guts)
"To be peaceful, you must be capable of great violence. If you aren't, you're not peaceful. You're harmless."
one of my favorite sayings.
Si vis pacem, para bellum
Jews God YAHWEH Old Testament great violence
-Jordan Peterson
@@zhangeldy4097 Incorrect.
Remember: "It's never a war crime the first time."
Good to know - Phat Merci!
a very canadian thing to say
That goddamn chubby electron and his catchphrases. Quack bang out!
Got to be the one getting it 1st though. Tried an experiment with a cow, a TV, and a hamster. Almost got arrested for a warcrime for that one. Apparently it had been done before.
"It's not really a war crime if you had fun while doing it" :P
"Good men don't need rules. Today is not the day to find out why I have so many" - Dr. Who
Decent clothes and padlocks and policing are only meant for good men. So that they don't get ideas. Bad people just take them as hurdles, to maneuver around or through and to twist to their advantage.
almost as chill as the speach about the doctor is never armed.
That line always hits so hard, as so much of Dr. Who you just see this lone unarmed man with a sonic screwdriver, a tool, not a weapon. But when angered, he becomes the single greatest treat to whatever he is angry at.
Always loved that line.
@@extremchiller410
-Dont be afraid he is not armed, you are unarmed rigth?
-yes
-You are alone
-often
-you should be afraid
-never
"Oh that's a great story! Back in World War One-"
Aliens> "Waiwaiwaiwaiwait, World War ONE?!?!?!"
Hysterical alien:
"What do you mean ONE?????"
i was hoping they reckted something like that. like the soldier at the northpole in peter capaldis dr who
If i had a coin for every one i would have two...
Still like the doctor who episode that highlighted just how bad the wars were
Ww1 officer has been taken to space and has an alien from the future explaining to him the cosmos, interstellar entities, the aliens trying to destroy his planet with unfathomable power
And the only thing that horrified the officer was his war being referred to as "world war *one*"
😄 A real nice and refreshing way which shows how a diplomatic narrative, inciting mental images through story telling can create a world of its own ...this was brilliant!!
Ah the perfect line to sum the rules up.
"These days most of the nations mostly follow the rules most of the time usually...unless they think they can get away with it or angry or bored or Tuesday."
Damnit Tuesdays
after 12 hours powerpoint presentation on war crimes and laws: "Oh and by the way, this only applies towards other humans. Anything but humans is free real estate. Now about the trade treaties..."
"Feathers? How do they taste?" - Some Earth Cajun
Not only does it only apply towards humans, it's only applied to ARMIES. Meaning civilians aren't bound by it.
@@jaredhalbrook5098it's funny people keep forgetting that, technically Geneva conventions don't apply to citizens
@@jaredhalbrook5098Civilian use of flame throwers aginst aliens? Nope. No law on the books. Might come under discharge of weapon inside city limits, which is a slap on the wrist and community service kind of thing. Best not to go off and explore the rural. Florida boys would slap you on a BBQ, and name a sauce after you.
😅
_top kek_
"The powerpoint presentations alone could probably qualify as psychological warfare"
indeed
17 years in the army. I can attest: the power point presentations themselves are enough to induce PTSD.
@@saxmo8024… oh nahhh
Ross Perot warfare
The problem with flamethrowers and civilians is they are just so damn flammable...
A song in Spanish included this in its lyrics:
_Everything burns if you apply the right spark_
("The right spark", Heroes del Silencio).
So is silly string it turns out...
Especially if you hit them with napalm first
Silly string fire boom or burn
Raflmfao thanks for that
and the chambers didn't realized that Rodriguez is already using a weapon against them. Human weaponize "Words"
ohhh that's good.
Yep I knew the moment they described his grin like a wolf. This was not going to end well for their delegation... Or their sensibilities.
The true "sonic weapons." Borderline "neurological weapons," when you think about it...
**grins in human**
"Come to think of it, this powerpoint could be classified as psychological warfare."
When I get bored I just lineup three of these videos and laugh my ass off for the rest of the day🤣
Oh humanity is peaceful all right, right up until you make us mad 😂
Peaceful is different from a nonthreat
Then everyone takes a Bigg step back and becomes Very agreeable 😁
Or Tuesday...
Don't mess with our boats
Aah, yes! The Geneva 'Suggestions'!!
THANKS, CANADA!! 😉
Please explain your comment. Canada had nothing to do with the creation of Geneva Conventions. Are you maybe thinking of United Nations?
@@brucehardy1640Geneva Conventions pre date the founding of the United Nations.
Thank you Switzerland for being a neutral nation that's ready to come with plans for peace. Work harder, it ain't working.
@@brucehardy1640 we Canadians are the reason the list is so long... It wasn't just Germany....
You're Welcome ❤️🇨🇦
Violence is not an answer to the question of how to conduct diplomacy. It is the question itself and often times humans answer it with “yes”.
Von Clausewitz: War is diplomacy be other means.
"Diplomacy is the art of saying 'nice doggy' until you can find a rock."
Rodriguez is class a diplomat using all the tools of psychological warfare in just the right amount :) Great stuff
How? Snide sarcastic comments? He's a primitive savage. This is junk.
@@Sigusen Just bgecause you choose to ignore the fact that 'war' is in our nature, as almost all major technological and medicinal advancements have happened during and because of warfare and one side trying to get an edge over the others, doesn't make it less true. If anything, you just hobble yourself. By ignoring human nature, you've made yourself more and more harmless. Thank god we have laws, or people like you would be f**ked.
@@Sigusen Well I liked it. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to you :)
On French trains, there are seats for "the elderly, pregnant women, the handicapped, and the blind".
You would assume that the last one is redundant; isn't a blind person handicapped?
Well, that phrase came about as a result of WWI. Due to the sheer number of men blinded by mustard gas, "the blind" was used to label them.
Imagine how many people needed to suffer that way for a language to be changed.
It’s only a “War Crime” if you get caught!!!🤣🤣🤣 He never got to Nuclear Weapons!!🤣🤣🤣
The first time we accidentally caused an earthquake was while testing the tsar bombar nuclear device.
“It’s never a War Crime the first time”. The Fat Electrician
@@aynonymosreally I thought that was when they were testing the nuclear bombs that they dropped on japan. I thought the tsar bomb nuclear test was when they erased an island and made what was left into an atoll
He did mention an antimatter bomb. Just a kilo to level a continent.
1:22
Rodrigues: “A portable nuclear fission rice cooker! Nice! 😊
A few tweaks and I can use it to level half the city! 🤣🤣🤣”
Everyone in the room:😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱
Neglected how humans foundational understanding of the human body for medical care was created. How we learned the human body is made of 70% water. The japanese weighed a person then turned them into human jerky and weighed them again.
I did not know that…
@Not_Nala1 everything has to start somewhere
Their biological experiments were just as bad. They saw the conventions and went 'they must have been banned because they are extremely effective' and ran so many experiments that there are still people living with side affects today.
Not survivors of the camps mind you, since there were no known survivors due to them killing all prisoners and destroying the buildings as they retreated, but survivors of the front lines where they would seed an area with a new strain of disease, retreat, and then observe the effects on Chinese soldiers as they rushed into the areas that had been vacated.
WIAT WHAT
Oh they committed some seriously heinous stuff during the war. But, we wanted that information, so we gave immunity for exchange and then didn't really talk about it. Germany was Germany so that's all anyone really remembers unless they are told specifically or really learn history. Japan's camps were monstrous. Any of human fact that makes you go, how could you know that, might be from those camps
The definition of 'War Crimes' in the Human species is- "Creative chaos."
One thing Humanity excels at!
;-)
War is not about who is right and who is wrong. Only who is left.
Basically, we're all psychopaths down here.
And now we know why we have not met aliens yet.
Marvel did explaint it,with all those species and trade routes, the Krill kept our planet isolated as a quarantine because all the nuclear weapons stored in the planet, no one wants to mess with that, and they know we would blow our planet before letting other species exploit it and who knows where we would send the rest of the nuclears, good luck tracking a single missile targeted at your planet
James: "did you know we figured out a way to make water burn?"
Every Alien: *_YOU FIGURED OUT TO MAKE W A T E R B U R N?!_*
XD
The most shocking thing is how good these AI voices have gotten. Sounds just like a real person, pausing at the right moments and everything.
Wait wtf, I genuinely thought it was an actual guy reading. It did seem a bit odd at times when it came to bot having the emotions I was expecting in some parts, but thought it was the narrator's choice mostly.
It's interesting. The pictures in this are AI, the story is written by AI, and the voice over is AI.
Is this actually done by ai? Or are you assuming it is? Sounds more like a 16-17 year old wrote this. I'm not trying to argue, I'm genuinely curious
@MyXyle666 it's not ai, there's hundreds of stories like these of r/hfy
@@jerzywolfstudios I think it's all AI: voice, text and illustrations
I like to think that the world governments had their leaders get together and decide who to send to give the presentation. After Rodriguez was successful, they got back together and decided to share info on any and all "incidents with household items" for any future meetings. Wouldn't be surprised if Canada or Germany wanted to send one of theirs, but then backed off realizing that might be too much for the Galactic Council to take in.
Had they sent a German:
Now, let us talk about some of the medical progress we made during World War II. You know, there was this guy Josef Mengele M.D. who thought that some of the prisoners that had become too weak for work could still be used for experiments, like infecting them with Noma, an illness caused by bacteria that eat your facial tissue before killing you by blood poisoning.
When Typhoid Fever went out of control, he sent 600 of his subjects into the gas chambers, and I didn't even tell you about his experiments with twin children yet...
Anyways, the allied forces, that freed those concentration camps, especially from a country called "U.S.A." found this to be a good idea and continued like that. Do you prefer to hear about Operation Whitecoat or the Tuskegee Syphilis Study now?
"Si vis pacem, para bellum."
Vegetius
"If you want peace, prepare for war."
Surprised there wasn't a "well it's more the Geneva Suggestion" joke in there somewhere.
There was a version of it at the end, "apprees to view the laws of physics as a polite sugestion."
*Canada enters the chat* War crime? Someone called?
You have to chant it three times in a dark room and then they start a mass immigration to Russia, as long as it isn't hockey season
@@mousehole1990I am detecting a HLC skit
U.S still has to teach you if there no witnesses there is no crime
Oh Nah If Germany and Canada were Ultra Nationalists they would be best friends
Classification: OH NO
Threat Level: YES
Enough said
It's all because of Canada in Poland that's why we have the Geneva checklist
I thought it was the Geneva Suggestion list. Have I got it wrong?
Cause they was dumb and left witness..u.s didn't lol
"Remember, winners don't get tried for war crimes."
I've listened to a number of stories like this. This is a rare one that I listened to all the way through. Great tale. I couldn't help but laugh a number of times. Keep it up.
Death by PowerPoint is a thing too
Maybe James should have mentioned how humans weaponized communication.
the humans going with a sweet smile - the treaty must say 'will never harm earth, her people or her territories, no matter the provocation'
meanwhile thanking their lucky stars that the aliens haven't placed any preventative clauses on ANYTHING so the universe is still currently 'right for the grabbing'
Er, technically silly string was deliberately weaponized, not accidentally: you can spray it into a room or down a hallway, and it will land on and expose tripwires without setting them off because it's so light.
They even managed to weaponize presentation software into an instrument of psychological warfare.
"Hey, did I ever tell you about the time we made landmines out of souped up, modified microwaves you would normally have in your kitchen? Those things were a real hoot! Step in the wrong place in a 2.5' wide doorway, and it would boil your insides, explode you, and disintegrate... All at the same time!"
"We also designed fake metal detectors which were really just a big magnet that were so powerful, if a person stepped in one with any metal at all it would forcefully yank it out. So if you had a bit of metal like a coin on your right side, the left magnet would activate and pull it THROUGH you. They were really fun if you had medical implants! There was this one guy who had a metal plate grafted to his skull and a pacemaker. The metal plate bisected him from the inside and the pacemaker was like a reverse harpoon! Fascinating!"
You know we'd win when we have rules to not allow entrenchment tools as melee weapons 😂
*Disappointed Death Korps of Krieg noises.*
lol i thaught shovels where legit
The sugar and creamer in an MRE can actually be used for the base of a thermal explosive.
Sending in a marine as a “diplomatic” solution is how you tell someone that in your eyes they don’t deserve to have intelligent human life in their peace talks
It depends on what kind of message you want to send: aliens already had the intelligent people to talk with and came out of it to the wrong conclusions regarding humanity's technological level, creativity capabilities and threat level. It is better to straighten things up before it gets practical.
I've seen several stories of this genre across a few different channels, but I don't think I've ever found one as amusing as this one lol
I was constantly wondering why no-one mentioned nukes. The end explained it. Didn't even really tell them about actual weapons.
If this actually happened, our classification would have been updated to "Latent/Intellectual Barbarians" 🤣
Hague Conventions don't apply if one of the parties is a non signatory. The US didn't sign the Hague Conventions.
Yup u.s has it right there are no crimes in war beside the clearly obvious like rape and looting
It still applies if the US did it to a signatory of the treaty
Hence why Israel is being tried for war crimes, as Palestinians have signed the treaty
They ran away from a power point presentation
... I feel their pain
“Was it something I said?”
On the contrary, expanding bullets were developed to prevent unintentional collateral damage by combating over-penetration.
As the bullet expands, it reduces the speed, thus lowering the chances of it exiting the other side and putting bystanders at risk. Even if it does go through, it will be at a much lower velocity. This is why they are preferred by police and other law enforcement.
The reason why they are banned in warfare is because that same expansion causes more tissue damage.
Also the reason why the US uses the 5.56 over the 7.62 is because the 5.56 pens just enough that it takes 3 combatants off the field. Where the 7.62 will just overpen the target. Even with a severe wound in theory the person hit by the 7.62 can still fight with a though and through wound.
These stories are weird sometimes. There is a line between, "dont mess with/underestimate us" and "youre an existential threat to us all, your peoples should be eradicated." Sounds like to me there isna good reason fornhumans to down play our warfare capabilities. A species with 10k years of advancement over should be able to destabalize our sun or something we can do little about.
i broadly agree, I think the track taken sometimes is these extrasolar/galactic species are sooo far in the future or post-existential conflict (like 10 or 20000, or more years in the future) that theyve actually forgotten how distasteful that kinda warfare is...
just think of, as fucked as it is, our use of firearms/bombs etcetc, and culturally sanitized it is, we don't see folk hacking one another to death in the much
...even now some have a difficult time grasping that a thousand years ago it was walls of men crashing into one another and stabbing one another to death, and how gruesome that rly is
Thing is that they don't want to cause harm. They are like very powerful sheep dealing with weak wolf pack. However the power difference makes no difference, sheep behaves like sheep and wolves behave like wolves. So their ideals of being harmless is what makes humans so dangerous as humans don't care any of that and can't be stopped... without becoming humans. It's almost like a paradox. You can't stop evil without becoming evil. There always has to be evil, question only remains how chaotic it is.
@@ShadowManceri similar to the paradox of tolerance/intolerance, same but different
"Back in war world one-"
Alien : what do you mean one ???
The M4 Rifle. Why JUST have a rapid fire projectile weapon, when you can attach a mobile artillery launcher and a sword to it?
Fun fact: I forgot exactly what they are called but america has missiles that when locked on to a fighter jet, it doesn’t just aim for the plane. It aims for the cockpit to kill the pilot.
My personal favorite are the sword missiles
GPS started as a military system.
"humanity classification : **OH NO**, Threat level: **YES**" ok this ended me
Ok, the superglue one annoys me, because in reality it was invented in an attempt to make clear plastic gunsights during ww2.
There's technologically advanced (efficient at the stated purpose), and then there's morally advanced (minimal death). They are not the same thing, but they can coincide (I suspect this human society couldn't quite pull off as efficient a nonlethal takedown even though they're far more efficient at the lethal stuff).
But you can see how it could be easy to confuse the two.
After all, even our scientists frequently confuse science and philosophy.
3:45
thats not correct, if I remember correct it began with the rich people / nobelmen not wanting to die while playing wargames
which is why it was seen as barbaric to kill a general/commander instead of capturing him, same with the medics later on
only later it was about not carrying out the worst possible ways to decimate a population / civilians / enemy army
Don't forget about the MRE spoon incident.
Lol that sounds like a good story.
I'm pretty sure that's what was meant by "the spork incident"... the time someone merc'd an opponent while using their MRE utensil 😅
NGL, laughed way harder at this than I probably should have...
Same.
Oh boy
I wonder how they would react on the stuff us germans did a hundred years ago
Germany's staff everyone knows; Japan, some people know, but fewer people know during this period, Ustaše (Croatia) also doing a lot of this horrible staff, even more horrible than Germans and some of them was horrifide of what Ustaše does
@@wojciechpiszczek3583how would it rate against what imperial Japan did?
oh boy you would be terified what our allies the japanese did. i just say they found out how much you weight without fluids.
@@mugenokami2201Japane was 2 times more good.... Croatia turned death enemys into food for soldiers...
@@mugenokami2201 search up unit 731 or the rape of Nanking
I think the no takesie-backsies clause in the non-proliferation act sounds like a good idea, probs should have put that in there from the get go
The entire video was entertaining... The last 3 minutes had was giggling! 🤣
"Where are you going!? I have not finished my powerpoint yet!"
So simple but yet so funny 😆
Just want to point out, humans have lasers that bother people. Its called lazer tag :)
15:31
Most nations mostly follow most of the rules most of the time usually
Wars only have rules in the beginning and then afterwards with the victor's wrath.
Angry or bored or Tuesday... or enlisted without an officer...
Whats the Spork incident? 😉
Like a Noodle Incident, but with a body count.
"For some reason, we were stabbing each other with sporks and I hit him hard enough right in the forehead," Jason said. "I just remember the next day his dad had him under his arm and he had four little spork dots."
Jason, the elder Kelce brother, explained that he was involved in an incident while "playing at a cafeteria table" with another student and a spork.
Ed's reaction to the school was to ask, "Why weren't you watching him?" during the spork incident.
I think that's a reference to when a Ranger managed to take out a terrorist in a surprise attack. When the terrorist attacked, the only item the Ranger could lay his hands on was an MRE spoon. And yes, he ended that terrorist with that spoon.
@@ryimscaith1593the version I knew about that was a marine snapped and killed his NCO in a mess hall before being deployed
@@ryimscaith1593 It must have been a painful experience.
At least it's not Tuesday.
Minor quibble, GPS was initially devised FOR the military. The system can still be set, at the flick of a switch, to reduce 'civilian' accuracy to within one kilometer of actual position, while military receivers can still read the accuracy of within one meter. The reason the military decrypted the 'fine detail' signal was because the Federal Aviation Administration begged them to do it so they could use the GPS system for commercial planes, as the existing system of radio beacon towers were failing and 'Congress' wasn't giving the FAA the budget to repair and maintain the radio beacons.
"Physics laws are just polites suggestions for them"
Thats so funny
Peace through strength is the only thing to ever work
That Marine feels hilariously and terrifyingly accurate.
"When Johnny comes marching home again
Haroo, haroo..."
these funny stories are the best just throw all common sense out and enjoy pure FOOLISHNESS.
did you know the story where a human contractor slep trough and end the war while sleeping on the frontline and the aliencomander and the doctor where just scratching theyr heads?
"Did ya think every battle in history was just some part of a big ol' conspiracy? Bullsh-t! War is a part'a who we are. Why fight it? Besides, none of this is gonna matter in 3 hours. Demand for PMCs is about to skyrocket. Like the good ol' days after 9-11!"
- Sundowner, Metal Gear Rising: Revengence
"They upgraded our classification to OH GOD PLEASE NO". The fact that is even a thing says alot.
Honestly it would of been top tier if it was a Canadian explaining the Geneva Conventions "guide lines "
Name: USS Invictus (D-107)
Class: Valiant-Class Battleship
Role: Deep Space Strategic Command & Heavy Assault
Length: 1,100 meters
Beam: 225 meters
Height: 75 meters
Mass: 250,000 tons
Crew Capacity: 1,500 (including combat crew, officers, and engineers)
Secondary Crew (Support/Science): 500
Armament:
Main Weapon Systems:
Phase Cannon Array: 8 main cannons, capable of firing concentrated bursts of plasma energy at sub-light and faster-than-light speeds.
Antimatter Torpedo Bays: 6, with a payload of 100 torpedoes, capable of generating massive shockwaves and devastation upon impact.
Graviton Disruptor Cannons: 4, capable of distorting the fabric of space-time to create localized gravitational anomalies that can disable enemy ships or pull them into deadly gravitational wells.
Point Defense Systems:
Quantum Flak Turrets: 30 rotating turrets, each armed with nanosecond burst lasers and rapid-fire energy projectiles for intercepting incoming missiles and projectiles.
Plasma Burst Shredders: 20 on-board turrets that release plasma streams to burn through incoming fighters or smaller ships.
Missile Launchers:
12 multi-purpose missile pods, designed for high-velocity, precision-guided attacks or electromagnetic pulse strikes against enemy shields and electronic systems.
EMP Pulse Cannons: 4, capable of creating a burst that disables enemy electronics, weapons, and shields for a brief period, ideal for turning the tide of battle.
Shields and Armor:
Phase Shielding System: An advanced multi-layered energy shield that bends and redirects incoming fire, absorbing energy and re-directing it into the ship’s systems for added power.
Reinforced Titanium-Platinum Armor: Able to withstand direct hits from heavy plasma weapons, as well as most kinetic impacts.
Regenerative Hull: The outer layers of the hull are designed with self-repairing nanomaterial, allowing minor damage to be restored within minutes.
Propulsion:
Hyperdrive Engine: Capable of faster-than-light travel, with a range of 100 light-years before requiring recalibration.
Ion Thrusters: For precision maneuvers in space, allowing the ship to make rapid course corrections even in hostile environments.
Graviton Drive: A unique propulsion system that manipulates gravity fields to push the ship at extreme speeds in deep space, offering unparalleled agility for its size.
Special Features:
Command Bridge: A state-of-the-art tactical command center with holographic projections, an advanced AI tactical assistant, and integrated communications systems for real-time battle analysis and coordination with allied forces.
Fighter Bays: 10 hangar bays capable of launching 200 fighter craft (mainly multi-role interceptors and bomber variants).
Science Lab & Medical Bay: Equipped with advanced diagnostic tools, and capable of conducting large-scale research, from biological studies to advanced weapon development.
AI Companion "Sentinel": An AI that provides real-time battlefield analysis, coordinates strategic assaults, and integrates seamlessly with the ship's weapon systems for automated or semi-automated targeting.
History:
The USS Invictus was commissioned as a flagship of the Federation's deep-space fleet during a time of galactic unrest. Designed for long-range engagements and strategic dominance, it boasts not only formidable firepower but also cutting-edge technology to ensure its place at the forefront of interstellar warfare. The Invictus's missions have ranged from planetary defense to full-scale military operations in hostile territories, where its overwhelming firepower and defensive capabilities have earned it the nickname "The Indomitable."
Motto:
"Through the Void, We Prevail."
Alien: "Your species developed these weapons, for fun?!"
Rodriguez: "Well sure! Nothing bring out human creativity like figuring new ways to blow stuff up!'" Made me laugh so hard. 😂😂
He didn't even mention the Marines yet
The human diplomat WAS a Marine...though the whole shtick of Rodriguez having his hands in his pockets while talking with the alien diplomats made my teeth itch. No actual jarhead who has been through boot camp would EVER contemplate having their hands in their pockets... not even to sheath their knife hands.
"BRO, STOP FLEXING ON THE ALIENS. THEY DONE NOTHING WRONG!!!!!!!!"
"These days most nations mostly follow most of the rules most of the time. Usually. 15:35
Its all fun and games till the human pulls out the geneva suggestions
"We're making progress! These days, most nations mostly follow most of the rules most of the time....usually."
Another Rodriguez! Earth has other names. Chen is getting old too. How about Kahn, Meeli, Chaka, Gonzales ?
Don't forget PATEL😂😂😂
imagine that rodriguez is the grandfather of the rodruiges who repaired a badly damaged ship despite the fact thet there are several savety protokol in place to protect other species from humans (another scyfy story
15.55. "Or Tuesday". 😂
Human: if aliens visit us they will have super powerful weapons to wipe us out instantly.
Aliens: crying in fetal position in corner because all his friends are dead from stepping on a misplaced landmine.
I guess, humans in this story was the very reason of creation intergalactic Geneva convention.
oh no ... he didn't had time to talk about 120mm CANISTER SHELLS
Nahhhhhhh☠️☠️☠️☠️
Bro 😂
Nobody tell Ambassador Cree what the Canadians were doing with their spare meat rations in 1917
... hollow point rounds are not designed for maximum tissue damage. They are designed to shoot your target and not the class of children standing behind your target. (Not overpenetrate your target). But those happen to be the same thing from a physics perspective, so...
I think it's all AI: voice, text and illustrations. I am not against it but it should be mentioned
you forgot about the microwave agonizer it's was quite an interesting hobby build
8:28 he was going to tell the history of the "Attack of the Dead Men"
Maybe they shouldnt have sent a Marine to do this. I appreciate the laughs this video gave me.
This is really good. Do you take request?
If it's the same incident I'm thinking of, it was an MRE spoon, the green flexible ones, not a spork. Gods bless the Rangers. I think it was a Ranger. That or a Marine. Either or.
This is exactly how i present how weapons work.
There are so many of these videos but this one is actually REALLY good and funny! Thanks! 🙂
He forgot to explain AT rifle firing squads :(:(:( makes a version where James explains human Anti Tank rifle firings squads to the council (ATR firing squads where almost kept a secret until some archive inspector found footage of times in World War One where anti tank rifles a weapon designed to only disable tanks where housed by large numbers against one prisoner resulting in the prisoners korps being nothing but guts)
After two weeks of the ATR firing squad practice it was banned and conciderd a war crime