The truth always comes to light. Unfortunately, it usually takes longer than we would like. But if you're a good person, your kids will see that one day. At that point, your ex will have a lot of explaining to do to them. Be the best person you can be right now, so that when your kids come to you later on, there can be no doubt that their mother had led them astray.
He can say all he wants about kids being somehow ok with divorced parents even if the split is amicable .IT IS NOT TRUE ,the parents living separately alone or with differing spouses and many with a new set of children affects them IMMENSELY. It’s all a LIE what he is saying trying to normalize a very bad situation.
Child of divorced parents, 9 yrs old at the time, struggled with self destructive behavior ever since. Looking for advice before I destroy my marriage of 25 years. As soon as I see any success I start to self sabotage.
Pick your situation: bad marriage or good divorce? Even in a low conflict marriage where you are living as roommates, there is a modeling of love that shows mismatched words and energy. Kids will pick this up unconsciously. This is the argument, anyway. I don't believe it however. I think it shows that their parents are trying to love but aren't good at it. We are only human after all. I think a "good divorce" is a ripping away of their foundation. Their security which would allow them to face the many challenges of the world. Like that young child exploring on their own but looking back and seeing that mommy is still there watching. I like his advice to co-parent optimally. But imagine being unable to do that married and then being successful when divorced! I do love my children very much. And yet I am finding myself lost of all identity which was dad, husband, provider and protector. In the house I was all that. Out of the house I'm a father forever, sure, but dad is dead. It is going to take a long time to find peace and a new identity. And then there is love of a woman. I am too old for the sexual marketplace so odds are heavy that I'm alone for the rest of my days. A good divorce. Man, I'm searching for how.
I agree but sometimes things just can’t be worked out and people are better off parting. BUT working together to parent and love the child(ren) and care for them with love and connection and care together. Yes, it’s trauma, but if adults can put aside their hurt, obviously not talking about abuse), and parent together, kids can be OK. Of course the pain and hurt and disappointment will always be there, but if they see parents are friendly and working for their best interest, it doesn’t have to be the end of the world. It sucks. But for whatever reason some (too many) simply can’t make their marriages work and parting is required. It’s easy to judge but we should have compassion, And seek out therapy for guidance with the kids.
Would love to hear some talk around parental alienation. The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce by Judith Wallerstein is an excellent resource.
I miss my children and their mother poisons their mind. It’s not fun to be a despised father. I have no one I can cry to.
The truth always comes to light. Unfortunately, it usually takes longer than we would like. But if you're a good person, your kids will see that one day. At that point, your ex will have a lot of explaining to do to them. Be the best person you can be right now, so that when your kids come to you later on, there can be no doubt that their mother had led them astray.
If people do not have bad intentions, then why do so many women weaponize their children against their ex-husband? It's very common.
Thank you. I really love listening Mr Sexton’s talk!
He can say all he wants about kids being somehow ok with divorced parents even if the split is amicable .IT IS NOT TRUE ,the parents living separately alone or with differing spouses and many with a new set of children affects them IMMENSELY. It’s all a LIE what he is saying trying to normalize a very bad situation.
Amen!
Child of divorced parents, 9 yrs old at the time, struggled with self destructive behavior ever since. Looking for advice before I destroy my marriage of 25 years. As soon as I see any success I start to self sabotage.
Pick your situation: bad marriage or good divorce? Even in a low conflict marriage where you are living as roommates, there is a modeling of love that shows mismatched words and energy. Kids will pick this up unconsciously. This is the argument, anyway. I don't believe it however. I think it shows that their parents are trying to love but aren't good at it. We are only human after all. I think a "good divorce" is a ripping away of their foundation. Their security which would allow them to face the many challenges of the world. Like that young child exploring on their own but looking back and seeing that mommy is still there watching.
I like his advice to co-parent optimally. But imagine being unable to do that married and then being successful when divorced! I do love my children very much. And yet I am finding myself lost of all identity which was dad, husband, provider and protector. In the house I was all that. Out of the house I'm a father forever, sure, but dad is dead. It is going to take a long time to find peace and a new identity. And then there is love of a woman. I am too old for the sexual marketplace so odds are heavy that I'm alone for the rest of my days.
A good divorce. Man, I'm searching for how.
I agree but sometimes things just can’t be worked out and people are better off parting. BUT working together to parent and love the child(ren) and care for them with love and connection and care together. Yes, it’s trauma, but if adults can put aside their hurt, obviously not talking about abuse), and parent together, kids can be OK. Of course the pain and hurt and disappointment will always be there, but if they see parents are friendly and working for their best interest, it doesn’t have to be the end of the world. It sucks. But for whatever reason some (too many) simply can’t make their marriages work and parting is required. It’s easy to judge but we should have compassion, And seek out therapy for guidance with the kids.
@@jsweet744therapy!!!! Get therapy. Get to know yourself and be genuine with your spouse about your fears… before it’s too late.
My sister used to say (about her ex), "Stupid will ne here soon to pick you up for the weekend."
Karma exists.