When I was in college my entire friend group except myself was, at one point or another, sugaring. Not one of them ever went on a lavish trip, expensive shopping spree, etc. The whole “these guys are interested more in companionship than they are in sex” thing perpetuated by the Sugar Baby Industrial Complex is a myth. 99% of the time these girls are having sex with the men. I’m all for legalized sex work and sex work is work, but there is no difference between an “escort” and a sugar baby. And all of my friends who were sugaring felt degraded at one point or another. No matter how many women say they feel empowered by this job path they don’t acknowledge the fact that they have zero power in these relationships, and once they’re not in their 20s their earning potential drops to zero. And I can guarantee that the girls who are showing these lavish trips to Monaco are outright lying because the people who vacation and/or live in Monaco have the kind of wealth that they don’t want bragged about or publicized by some girl they’re paying for the weekend. And the ones who do have super rich “daddies” don’t get them through apps. They get them because they have some kind of access to the spaces these kinds of men occupy.
I'm not for sex work is work. If your landlord can't ask you for a blowjob to pay your rent, and if fact, doing that is harassment, then it's not work. Commercialisation of sex and women's bodies will lead to nothing but erosion of women's rights. To your point of sugaring not being empowering - prostitution isn't empowering either. There's nothing empowering in being bought for someone else's use. And there's nothing empowering in the state legalising the abuse of women. Consent can't be bought. Promotion of "sex work is work" is one of the most misogynistic views I can think of.
In college, all of my friends were having casual sex with men who had no money. This led some to feel degraded but with no money in return. I think women in all sorts of relationships can lose empowerment and stability if the relationship turns, and it is not limited to sugaring. I know people who have done sugaring and regret it and others who have turned a transactional relationship into marriage with children. I don't think it is anyone's place to tell others how they should conduct their personal relationships or what they should do with their bodies.
The idea of being alone with a powerful man scares me on a normal basis, but add in a transactional obligation that makes you dependent on him and it sounds like a nightmare. I'd be afraid for my life but maybe that's just me!
I knew a woman in Montreal who was a sugar baby, it was all married guys 40-65, looking for a younger person to cheat with. She didn’t feel comfortable with that, and found a single retired hockey player, they went on a date and she drank a bit too much, he spiked her drink and she woke up naked in a hotel room with him on top of her. She was too scared to go to police since she had met him on a sugar baby website…very very sad. Thats the reality
this is why the normalization of this mess is dangerous and needs to stop. i know everyone wants to be open minded and accepting but this all just gives into the patriarchy and enables horrible men to have access to vulnerable women.
I have nothing wrong with transparent sex work. However, what I find dubious is a lot of these sugaring influencers will say they just pay them attention and don’t do anything sexual which falsely represents the reality to many young women. It’s best to be upfront on what it is.
There's a real "come on, how dumb do you think we all are?" to the people claiming that it's usually just about your sugar mama/daddy wanting some company and totally not about sex. It's a transactional relationship and almost certainly involves sex. As you pointed out, depending on the specifics that'll fall anywhere on the spectrum between trophy girlfriend and escorting-with-extra-steps. You do you if that's your bag (but be safe and keep your eyes open), but let's all please be honest with each other and ourselves.
It’s sad to me that being a sugar baby is being glamorised as a desirable lifestyle. There isn’t anything desirable about selling your body for money. The risk of sexual violence, other forms of abuse and negative mental health consequences is huge. I don’t want to shame these women but I do think they have a responsibility to promote a balanced view of what they are doing. Negatives should be shown too. Also If prostitution is truly so empowering why aren’t we empowering men to to do it ?
A lot of us already being exploited, yet we still don’t have enough money to survive. Sugaring presents a scenario where women get exploited but for way more money
@@Loganhon My point here is, I can understand why a young attractive woman might consider sugaring (a job that exploits her but pays more than enough to cover her basic needs) vs working for less than 15 bucks an hour as a clerk somewhere.
not just the financial aspect that comes with an expiry, emphasis should be made more about their personal safety too. Some of the younger ones could end up being outright trafficked if they don't have the street smarts.
I am in my 30’s and it is so bizarre to me how much this ish has been normalized. When I was college-aged/early 20’s almost no one who wasn’t absolutely desperate or already engaged in sex work considered this a realistic option. This was the case even after the 2008 financial crisis and subsequent recession. This whole transactional relationship culture was not something that really existed as a cultural norm and was definitely not viewed as aspirational. I’ve been concerned for a while; a lot of girls and women seem caught up in the most glamorous potential outcome of these kinds of lifestyles and not the reality for most, which is a life with little to no financial autonomy, little bodily autonomy, and a lack of ultimate control over one’s life.
I think it's just more visible now. I followed a number of sex workers (mostly cam girls and sugar babies) on tumblr in the 2010s, and they had to constantly warn younger people away from sex work. Tumblr feminists had latched onto the idea that sex work is inherantly empowering and a lot of young women bought into the fantasies that Chelsea discusses.
Having visibility on social media is not the same as normalized. What % of people actually engage in this? 1/10000? More or less? We need to be careful about viewing this content and thinking it’s “normal” when the reality for most people is far from it. Its the same wariness we should view everything we see on social media.
@@jillhoffman9179 you’re correct, but sadly it’s just not that uncommon. I know more than one person PERSONALLY that is subscribing to this. And I am not in sexxwork, nor do I want to be, I have a career in corporate America (sadly lol) People are actively trying to remove the stigma of being a sugar baby. There is a push of normalization with this, because they shame other people for not seeing relationships the way they do. My tik tok has been SWAMPED with this content before I had to clean up my algorithm and I still see it.
I find it amazing that the current economic climate is worse than it was in 2008, worse even than the Great Depression according to many economists, and yet no one talks about it so people who are financially more stable have no idea how hard things are for younger and less privileged people. I'm in my 20s and find the idea of sex work repulsive but I have considered it. Not because I'm fooled by Instagram optics but because rent, food, utilities, and fuel prices have risen so much my living costs have tripled in the past 6 months. I've reduced purchases and barely heat my house but the UK economy is up shits creek. If I do it I'll write up a contract with the boundaries I'm happy with and what i expect in return, I'll carry pepper spray, and I'll save whatever I can.
My FYP hates me, and I was introduced to saga of Cindy and Pumpkin against my will. Everything was great in her old videos when showing their lavish dates and her wardrobe. But oh "How the turns table" when she became pregnant and had a baby. The videos and lives were then him screaming and telling her he was throwing her and a 1 week old baby out of the apartment he was paying for and was in his name. It's clear she had no savings or emergency fund because she stayed in an apartment with a hostile man screaming at her instead of getting her and the baby to safety. Take care ladies, gentlemen, they because the faucet turns off as quickly as it turned on when they're done.
TFD I LOVE YOUR PAGE so much and your honesty and the hard work you put into your topics is top notch!💕🙌🏽 I’ve been a nurse for 16 years and one thing I do not like about a lot of this imagery on social media is that it glosses over the full truth. I worked in sexual health for 7 years and had many young female and some male clients who were survivors of assault and sex trafficking. Being a sugar baby means you don’t have the legal right to health insurance or basic protections from your provider. You surrender control of your day to day life and you put your safety and health at risk. Wealth does not equal character and ONE WAY or another you have to pay for what you get in this life.
Yeah, there is antibiotic resistant strain for Gonoreah out there. Imagine that, as a cost for sugaring or doing sex work or being uncareful promiscuous. For the rest of your life, smelly and painful fluids from your cuchie for decades to come. I consider it worse than HIV since there is no medication for it.
This widespread push to encourage young women to consider prostitution as a legitimate and harmless financial plan, in the name of feminism, is one of the most depressing trends in my lifetime.
@@edithandlezMay I ask what depresses you? Promiscuity is really changing our world for the worse. I mean I realize that there is war and famine but everyone has their own opinion.
Fully agree- and if you question it you are told your are “sex negative” and what is the different between this and any other job” what other job can get your pregnant and sexually transmitted diseases and abused under the veil of “kink”
Yes, we should be judgemental. Raising or telling women, that's its ok to be a "sugar baby" is horrific. Basically, a woman becomes a prostitute. We need more doctors, nurses, teachers, engineers & not "sugar babies". Having said that, if a woman feels that's how she wants make income, then we have to accept it's the world's oldest profession.
Agreed. There are many OF "Content Creators" who are burning themselves into the ground. I saw a video showing one OF Girl after one year on that platform saying she now hates men and now regrets ever doing it.
What we need and what people would prefer to do is not what many have the access to pursue. That's one reason why it's the world's oldest profession. The judgement, "You do a terrible thing that society does not value," keeps fewer people out of the profession than exploitation forces into it.
She did judge, however given her background, she judged on a favourable side. I don't agree with her. This trend of normalising a degrading trend does not increase the well-being of a society as a whole. There are just a very few winners - the ones who have enormous wealth.
Sugaring isn’t something that you can put on your resume to leverage for a job. Not only do you not get a 401k or other benefits (health insurance) that you would in a traditional job, you're also not paying into federal programs that exist for your financial protection, like Unemployment, Social Security Disability Insurance, or state Temporary Disability Insurance. Hopefully you won't need to use these safety nets, but you never know.
You can def pay for retirement or insurance this is a silly take. No one expects to have it on their resume but it’s not typically a full time job but a side hustle
I think people aren't taking into account that if you have a real job, even if it is lower paying, it can allow you to gain the experience and skills you need to get a higher paying job. In contrast, if you spend the most of your time sugaring, you won't be able to leverage that experience.
I imagine the more experience you have sugaring, the less valuable you become as a sugar baby. You’re older and guys paying for this prefer inexperience
they want a young girl they can manipulate and doesn't know what "she's worth". the entire culture is predatory, like all sxx work, and serves the johns first and foremost @@TheJadedJames
This is all so superficial, I dated someone older when I was younger, I wish I had all that time back! I wish I had spent that time enyoing and growing with a partern that sees me as an equal. you are selling your time, your romantic, your best time, your inocence and growth. Its way too valuable to exchange it for money, you are that age only once, and sell it to someone that already enjoyed their youth.
I have been wanting to hear a take on this for the longest time! You should interview a sugar baby if it’s feasible. I really think it’s important for women to talk about this, especially the financial details and strategies.
Sugaring destroyed one of my friendships with a long time friend. One of my best friends started doing it in college, and she made me a bet that she could earn more money than me in a summer. We actually made about the same, so it is a lucrative option (I was making 45/hr as an intern). Eventually though, she got really close to some of her sugar daddy/friends, and they convinced her that people like me and my friends “tech trash” were terrible people :(
I’m sorry that happened to you. Theres definetly an inherent classism dynamic thats promoted by these influencers or even the sugar daddies themselves. You are probably doing better now than she is
I think de-stigmatizing this kind of thing is good because it helps to talk about safety and rights, but it breaks my heart to see it go all the way from de-stigmatization to outright making it aspirational. I don't know, it's just awful to tell a woman to DREAM of becoming someone's sugarbaby or trophy wife, to aspire to reach it like it's the ultimate feminist humanist dream. Going beyond normalizing "intimacy and love in return for money" to glorifying it. None of this is great.
Thank you! I will never shame anyone for turning to sugaring to get by but we also shouldn’t glamourize it to the extent that it has been, especially without discussing the risks. I considered doing it at various points of my 20s but ultimately chickened out each time. It’s worth noting that not all sugar arrangements are created equal. A couple of my friends have done it and at times they’ve been able to reap some sweet benefits, however, they’ve been taken advantage of, scammed, raped and at risk of being seriously harmed in other ways. Even when my friends were being given a lot of money and they were able to cover their rent, utilities, car payments etc. they were expected to spend a lot of the money they were being given on maintaining their physical appearances and buying expensive clothing and lingerie. It’s also worth noting that lot of the arrangements they entered in started off as non-sexual but in most cases, the sugar daddy would eventually threaten to cut them off if they didn’t have sex with them. Ultimately, a lot of these arrangements seem to be structured to keep the sugar baby reliant on their sugar daddy/mama. Like I said, I will never judge someone for engaging in these types of arrangements to get by and if someone wants to be a sugar baby, trophy wife or stay-at-home girlfriend, that’s their choice but it’s important that we don’t gloss over all the risks.
Being a sugar baby just doesnt seem like a good business model to me. High start up costs in terms of hair, makeup, clothes to attract these guys. Many are doing this secretly, due to social judgement so there is no support system if things go wrong. You have no legal protections, at least with a job they have to give you notice. You may get the money or you may not , its based on the whim of another person. Plus you are completely disposable.😢. It makes better sense to network with wealthy people (men and women) for your own career or business advancement.
Unfortunately it have at least a chance for bettering life quality and better possibilities than working 9/5 for below the living wage. Peeps are gettimg into dept just to pay rent and food to continue to go to work that wont let them live ok lives, hut is necessary for the economy and society
@@fehyndana7725 respectfully, I see this kind of comment on a lot of sugar baby commentary. I find it so glib. Its difficult to find 1 stable suitor, let alone several. The amounts being given are not enough to pay bills and have enough capital to start a meaningful business. Not to mention the time involved in trying to juggle being a sugar baby who is meant to look 100% all the time (which means hair, nail appointments and shopping for new clothes), being at someone's beck and call for dates (some local and some international) and somehow start and develop a thriving business in your downtime - its just doesn't seem realistic.
@@channelpersonal6172 I don't think so. A sugar baby has to meet a guy, date a guy and somehow convince him to agree to a transactional relationship. Up until the agreement and 1st payment all the effort that is being put forward is unpaid. Even if she's successful in setting up an arrangement, if the sugar daddy decides to ditch her, she's back at square one doing unpaid work all over again to find someone new. Being a sugar baby is harder than being in a 9'5 job imo.
It wouldn't be that hard, they often get setup for pre-arranged agreements by underground people in the know (like a high class escort service that already has tons of clients). They know the preferences their VIP clients have for women so can pre-screen the girls to suit those meetings and if they don't want to do it they'll send someone else who will.@@christieomojo
"No man would choose an ugly woman if he can have a pretty one. Don't choose a poor man if you can have a rich one." This is it. We found the epitaph to put on America's tombstone.
I experienced something similar that, at the time, seemed harmless and helpful to me. But the more I matured the more I realized how exploited I was by a manipulative predator. He controlled my life in so many ways and even though he unalived himself many years ago I still have nightmares about him. Please, to the young ladies watching, build your self up. It’s delayed gratification but sooooo much better. The men who do this are unable to have equitable relationships with women their own age and want malleable young tenderonies they have power over. Plus they likely discarded or are neglecting their wives who helped them build that wealth.
Its insane how divided the society gets where women have to resort to prostitution to pay rent like in the tird world countries. Although that rent is $5000 a month in Manhattan
Do you mean to tell me that young ,healthy and capable of work people cannot do any other type of work to pay their bills? Or is it maybe more fashionable to make fast easy and a lot of money?
Lol no one has to live in Manhattan. you can rent in queens for $2k. Many sugar babies just chose to live the high life in a nice high rise in the city instead of splitting the rent with a dusty boyfriend in some sh*t hole
@@Mina-hm2ogI did it so I didn’t have to work while being in college and focus on my studies instead and to travel as often as I could in my 20’s, which I could not afford in my own. I don’t regret a thing and would do it again, I ended up meeting my husband through it. I do regret paying out of pocket to travel to see my far distance boyfriend who ended up cheating on me anyway. Men are not worth my time unless they provide is what I learned from all my pre sugar relationships
@@fehyndana7725 Im gonna be honest that last part sounds like something you want to work through. Im not sure if its the right mindset to only look at potential relationships transactionally. What are you expecting them to provide? what are you providing? is that an equal push and pull? Im not saying that the first part is disagreeable, thats your experience and I respect that, but idk about that view of future relationships, as well as the dynamic of expectation there.
Sex work is not some liberation of a vulnerable population. If you don't believe me, ask anyone working in your local red light district. "The worker sinks to the level of a commodity, and becomes indeed the most wretched of commodities."
Interestingly, I see it as an indicator that the career-driven girlboss narrative, especially 90s career women style, is phasing out of favor. A new "aspirational" lifestyle is filling this vacuum.
I believe it has to do with the types of jobs people can get and how they are compensated for them these days. The more I work (regular 9-5) the more I find that it is not even more money I miss the most, but more time... even though I could not spend 3 months in the mediterranean first class and five stars, but I definitely would like more free time to be spending the way I choose. And for stay-at-home gfs, just looking at how they are killing time making green juice or matcha tea or meditating, having hours and hours for themselves, it kind of makes me feel envious... before I consider all the freedom they are giving up for that free time. I see the same thing with sugaring, these people might be getting something great, but for a great sacrifice also. If work would be a much better alternative, I believe less people would resort to these more extreme ways to get what they need or think they need.
"A lot of the men just want to have sex with you" ? duh. I think it is funny for people to pretend that's not the underlying transaction. best to assume that is the expected transaction and then maybe be surprised if it actually isn't.
I am excluding sex workers who do it solely out of necessity and for survival, but god, I wish people would stop tip-toeing around the fact that sex work is incredibly degrading and soul-sucking. And no, the vast majority of people do not take you seriously regardless of how many times you say "sex work is work".
There have been some preliminary studies so far showing mental health issues associated with Onlyfans, and I expect more studies in the coming decade to give more data pointing to the same thing. I'm friends with many onlyfans girls and that work is genuinely soul crushing and mentally taxing. It isn't even about shame or puritan culture. The power imbalance of relying on men for your rent, and having to act a certain way to retain that, is awful in all regards. It's like working the worst retail job you can think of, while also being responsible for all the overhead/management, finding clients, etc. We as leftists criticize the "just join the army" rhetoric that takes advantage of poor men, and this is seemingly the exact same thing for the opposite end of the gender spectrum. I don't think it's very girlboss to sell this image of sex work that doesn't really exist.
How *exactly* is this different from prostitution? I'm not judging either way - I grew up in a society where sex word is legal - I'm just feel like there's some cognitive dissonance where "sugar babies" are concerned.
I think it’s just broader. In some situations it could be classified as a kind of sex work or prostitution very easily, in others it may fall into a grey area. I don’t know that people have cognitive dissonance about it - to me, it seems more to just be something that falls a bit outside of established social categories which makes it hard to speak about in absolutes. Open to hearing from people who are more familiar than I am though
It's different in many aspects: cost, length of time interacting, the socializing aspect. It'd be analogous to the difference between taking a cab, renting a car, and hiring a chauffeur.
@@epbrown01but those factors aren’t dependent on whether or not you’re a prostitute or “sugar baby” (which to me is just a prostitute), they’re dependent on an individual basis. “Sugar babies” aren’t providing any difference in service to prostitutes. It’s seems like the only difference you’re highlighting is the “quality” of service or the “quality” of the individual themselves between the two given your analogy which doesn’t make sense as there’s a complete overlap in the duties and factors you’ve listed between the two. It simply depends on the worker and the clients needs
There is a major amount of priviledge in being able to consider the possibility of being a sugar baby, this must be acknoledged in whatever analisys we make. That being said, it seems that the major societal source of this kind of position is just wealth inequality. Again, adress inequality and all the problems related to sugarness go away.
This might sound stupid, but when I was a teenager, I played this mobile app (I don’t remember what it’s called) that I LOVED. It was basically a high school sim where each student had traits and their were stories and romance you could complete. I absolutely LOVED this game…until my older sister’s boyfriend hacked it somehow and I had infinite money. I could rush through every story without watching for the cooldown, buy any clothes; build any building. Suddenly, it wasn’t fun anymore. I think that experience really put being rich into perspective for me. I still want money, but I think too much can be mentally draining.
God I hate Capitalism so much. Another factor of Capitalism I despise is how simply living is called a lifestyle, yes me wanting the bare minimum basics of healthcare, free college tuition, affordable housing, organized labor, and the opportunity to get married to woman, and possibly raise children with her, with paid maternity and paternity leave guaranteed to both of us, is a lifestyle and not called simply being a human. A lifestyle is me wanting to travel, drive nice luxury or sports cars, wear different mens fashion, live in certain condos, go to clubs etc. Extras. Needing to live and wanting the bare basic minimum is called existing. I think this is a symptom of massive wealth gaps, and a lack of social safety nets. Conservative morons hate sex workers, but also hate social safety nets. Maybe if we funded college education for everyone, had labor unions, had social safety nets, and affordable housing, less young women would be drawn to sex work. Nah lets continuing funding our empire and bailing out banks and corporations. The bourgeois need to start paying up. And we need to start taxing them. Join a union, start a union. Vote for the most progressive policies you can.
Well said. The most sickening thing is we don't even live in a pure capitalist system across the board... What America has is "socialism for the super rich and poor, harsh capitalism for working class people in-between."
This is a full time job (because men require a lot of attention) for $2800 a month! Plus you have to pay to maintain those looks (waxing, tanning, hair dye, make up, clothes). Sounds like a net financial loss to me.
I'd like to think these girls aren't that dunb to rely financially on a man completely. I think they're finessing them and they putting their money away whil he fronts the cost. I'm not thin, blonde or foreign so I had to go to school and get degrees actually lol. I couldn't rely on my looks so thankfully I'm not put in compromised situations.
Always looked at sugaring as gambling. There are definitely winners and losers. Some leave with nothing, some leave with everything, while most leave with something in between. That being said they are probably playing against a stacked deck and a crooked dealer.
15:59 this made me think of when I was a nanny, and the couple I was working for was divorcing (95-96). She didn’t really go after him, actually in retrospect she could have gotten more, but her and her kids were taken care of until the youngest was 23 (use of the home and monthly child support). However, he did cheat, so while she still had the credit card we went to a concert together, one of the rare times he had the kid. We charged every beer🍻and merch we bought. Racked up just under $300. It wasn’t much, but she felt so vindicated and free in the moment.
i know a woman who was sugaring into her 50s when her sugar daddy left her for another baby (also a mature woman) she had lived a rather lavish life in her youner years ad had failed to put anything aside. but she is a lovley woman who is still getting alon on her charms.
It's absolutely not the same. You build skills and then you go find another job if you get fired, or you start your own business. And if you're a sugar baby and your sugar daddy dumps you, you're in a huge problem if you don't find another one. Which will happen as these young women age.
@@melc4308Working using brains and brawns means you earn the keeps and not depending on others' generosity. You can leave for better pay or start off own business with that kind of attitude. Using beauty and sex to lure money with nothing else to offer means you are heavily dependent on others for money. Once you are dumped it means you need to find someone else to latch into, and the older you get the more difficult it will be. The former is appreciating asset due to experience, the latter is depreciating assets due to aging. It's not the same and will never be the same.
@@melc4308 I mean... I'm really sorry if it's like that where you live, and this is one of the reasons why capitalism is a death machine, but no, "a job" is not supposed to be like this, and in fact it is not like that everywhere.
Capitalistic hyper-exploitation and social media morals notwithstanding, there are tax implications for this type of livelihood generation that one might want to consider or be advised on. Funny this was not mentioned.
Honest question- how would that be? Is he going to claim business expenses for “Services by Jane Doe” and if you’re Jane, you should be filing taxes on that income? Probably technically according to the IRS yes you should, but if there’s no paper trail, how is anyone going to follow this? What am I missing?
@@Amy-abc Gift tax hits above a certain dollar amount. That's why game show contestants who win cars often sell them-- because they can't afford the gift tax
@@qwertydeluxe Ok, that's one point. But still, how will the IRS know that Jane Doe got a "gift"? John Q Public isn't going to declare he granted this person a gift... will he? I'm just really trying to walk through the practical steps of how people would treat this situation. Depending on his own business & tax situation, he may want to expense/write off as much as he can. That could put her in a situation of tax liability, But, if he wanted to keep the situation hush, then why expose it? I still don't get it conceptually nor tactically. I wonder what @deantunkara1567 meant with their statement.
something i honestly cant believe is that theres ppl who try n dive into sugaring w/o thinking abt how hard itd be to find an sd who is legit n also doesnt wanna have sex ??? those r literally the good ones n the best of anything is always taken by the time most ppl try to get into it lol
Yeah, we tend to only hear about the glamorous/ideal side of sugaring and the significant risks get glossed over. I have friends who have sugared and I considered it at multiple points and even went as far to make an account on one of those websites and started talking to potential sugar daddies (but ultimately chicken out). The truth is, the majority of sugar daddies do expect some type of sexual relationship with sugar babies. Sure, not all of them do, but they are the exception not the rule. Most arrangements are also structured to keep sugar babies reliant on their sugar daddy/mama and they’re given enough money to cover their main expenses but they’re also expected to allocate that money towards maintaining a certain physical appearance and lifestyle leaving them very little money to save. A lot of my friends entered arrangements that started off as non-sexual but at some point the sugar daddy would threaten to cut them off unless they did have sex with them. Sex work is work and I will never judge someone for supporting themselves that way, however, it does concern me when the risks of sex work and/or sugaring are glossed over. A lot of sugar babies get taken advantage of, scammed, raped and harmed in other ways.
I suppose if someone strives to effectively be a pet, they should at least make sure they are a well compensated pet. While it lasts, anyway, and before their master seeks a younger model. It's not exactly a long-term prospect, is it?
Yeah. It is one thing be have money, this it is easier to initiate relationships. But a transparently transactional physical relationship would be so depressing and kind of emasculating
It's complicated, such a difference in a relationship built on chemistry, compatibility, and shared goals vs a more transactional relationship. Sucks that capitalism and other systems in place encourage this kind of behavior from both men and women. I'm not judging the individuals so much, but as a whole I think these very transactional relationships make society worse and erode our humanity a little which is sad to see. You also have to consider each relationship on a case by case basis. It's just complicated.
This isn't a capitalism problem. This "sugaring" is the world's oldest profession and has existed in every society and system. Girls selling their bodies for money and men giving them money is nothing new.
I appreciate that you are telling us about the reality of sugaring and giving financial advice to women who do it, but enough with the pro-pimp "sex work is work" mantra and pretending that there is anything empowering about prostitution. Also we can call it "sugaring" as much as we want, it doesn't change the fact that it is prostitution by another name. If it was empowering, men would be doing it. Instead, men are busy pursuing things that give them actual power (often over these same women), while we are sold scrambling for the crumbs that fall off the men's table as empowerment.
I'm all for empowerment of women in whatever way possible. But there is a HUGE difference between a performer, i.e. a stripper, onlyfans cam girl, etc. vs. a SUGAR BABY. There is nothing wrong with getting men (or women) to pay you to enjoy looking at your body. It's different when it involves a relationship with a man who is wealthier than you, has more power than you, and is overall DEMANDING you to have a relationship with them in exchange for money. It may not always be about sex, but 90% of being a sugar baby, is having sex with them. I have friends in the industry, on OF, and have had sugar daddies. None of these things are long term for them and they know that. The problem with TikTok in general, is that markets everything to a GenZ/GenX audience -- literal CHILDREN who are susceptible to believe ANYTHING they hear/see on that app.
A part of me will always wish that I was a young, beautiful, blonde white girl so that I could either find a (kind) sugar daddy or sell my eggs. I'd probably not consider the former but definitely the later. I respect your nuanced take on tis subject, we need this type of unbiased deep dive in this modern world
@@Blahgirl283 I can understand where OP is coming from. Young pretty blonde white girls gets the most attention and the most desirable in society. Even average looking blonde white women gets attention. As a minority woman I have felt salty and left parties jaded AF because a man didn't talk to me or even look my way. It can be lonely and depressing not feeling desired. App dating is shitty too. The women that gets 100s of likes are usually white and blonde, hence why OP said that she wishes she was white. It's easy to sugar when you're desirable...
@@deantunkara1567being white means u can sell ur eggs for more bc white children r considered more desirable for things like that / adoption :/ ( its unfortunate n ive personally never wanted to be white but i get what they meant )
Everything about this video is very well done. The writing the editing the way you speak. Exceeeeept the sound is very bad. Sounds like you are talking on a laptop mic. A better mic or at least a noisegate plus a low level backround music track would do wonders here.
I saw sugar dating websites 20 years ago, it’s still not mainstream now, it’ll probably always be fringe, few really think it glamorous. People enter this type of relationship for all kinds of reasons, as long as they have an exit strategy, it’s just like any other job.
another video i watched on age gaps in celeb relationships highlighted this one model from south america whose dated some of the most powerful men in hollywood. pretty, skinny, attempted acting in her late teens and 20-30 years later, has been associated with several rich men in hollywood. life has no rules, only results and every decision has consequences. i think if you can make a life out of partnering with rich men who will date/provide for your entire life (not just pay you for sex *eye rolls*), it sounds amazing. never having to work and literally being able to retire your family because some weirdo named Alec Baldwin wants to date/marry you is clutch af. BUT YOU CAN NEVER KNOW THAT GOING INTO A RELATIONSHIP so its a dice roll and not smart to rely on it or expect it.
There are so many sexist comments on this. It's very dishearting... As a former swer though this video was very good! You really do need to look out for yourself in the industry and focus on having a smart financial plan because the money can go as fast as it comes.. assuming the person can good enough at the job to make any decent money from it
I don't know what its like in other provinces and states, but where i live, there's virtually no difference in property rights if youre married or common-law (lived together in a marriage like relationship for 2 years).
What’s old is new. In the early 2010s sugar baby thing was a phenomenon with the Seeking Arrangements website. And then didn’t see anything about it. Now it’s back. Whoever controls the $$ determines what happens.
It's so funny to even see this as a viable option considering that most men are also poor lmao😅 UNFORTUNATELY men are largely working class and we have to have solidarity with them (tragic)
Hi Chelsea! Excited to watch this video, wanted to let you know that at the beginning around 0:41 there is an error with the edit where the audio continues but the wrong clip is synced with it, looks like a camera test maybe. Just wanted to let you know in case it's something you're able to update in the TH-cam editor!
Watching the Video and Chelsea discuss on this topic really makes me think guys - Its better to be Average Plain Jane and Being ugly is sometimes definetly a blessing in disguise🤣😭🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂
I wish modern culture was more gender-equal and Sugar Mommies were just as popular a phenonemon as Sugar Daddies and young men would praise the advantages of the transactional lifestyle choice. What frustrates me are the double standards, a older woman as a financial benefit partner for a young man would be shameful and societally frowned upon more than a Sugar Daddy - Sugar Baby monetary relationship.
I’m here for all transactional relationships because historically marriages were transactional and that was normal not shameful. Love marriages were seen as indulgent and shameful and unchristian and kind of selfish since someone could cost their family money by marrying someone poor. Marriage doesn’t automatically make your relationship non transactional or more legitimate to everyone just the law and the church
It's definitely a myth that men are just about sex. Even to the degree they often want sex, it does boil down to intimacy, as Chelsea says. It's sad that society in such a state that men's intimacy is reduced to a damned monetary transaction. They are getting to adulthood and fatherhood without a solid understanding of how to socially interact with people to find real companionship, intimacy, and connection. And overall, it's sad that the economy is chewing people up and spitting them out into adulthood unable to provide for themselves. The fact that anyone should have to rent themselves out to make ends meet, is messed up.
It’s too expensive to live... that’s breeds a climate where this job seems appealing.. I love the folks willing to share/speak their truth about sugaring.. so anyone who follows can decide to make their own decision with more information than going in blind..
ITS NOT OK TO DO THIS. The “ you do you” mentality is what is wrong with society. Whether they admit it or not, these women are sad, lonely and desperate. It’s bullshit when they say they aren’t.
Gotta say I love how you bring finances and social justice together. Making each more accessible and approachable. Thank you for being a living example of what a responsible and empowering company and person can do! 💛
This is a rather one-sided perspective. You're correct that exploitation is rampant in this type of dating, but failed to mention it's rampant on both sides. There's plenty of scammers, liars and greed on both sides of the equation. I can vouch from experience. Your perspective displays only ethical concerns for one side of that type of relationship. While paying no concern for the guys bankrupting themselves for love and sex. People who struggle to find it otherwise and overspend immersed in the high of intimacy. Exploitation and unethical behavior is rampant on both sides in that world and your video seems to encourage it for one side using societal injustices as justification to step on other individuals. Encouraging women to use their bodies and companionship like drug dealers. Side note I like a lot of your other content and am a subscriber. This video was off the mark and one-sided.
I absolutely despise the narrative twisting at play - if "companionship" is the goal - go do dating. But if there's an arrangement that obligates one party to provide services in exchange for some kind of currency (goods or cash) that's straight up business, nothing more. The sugar baby thing just replaces the implied possibility of sex for the pretext of sex. B/s this is a companionship thing, no matter how good the relationship rapport is, it comes down to an ACTUAL agreed-upon fee. Sure dating today has become somewhat transactional, but that's still between two people on the same field. This on the other hand is client and worker. Do what you gotta, but like OF, it's still sex work at the end of the day
Yeah, a job entirely dependent on how pretty men think you are that inevitably attracts the worst type of men, just...isn't empowering. The real moral failure in society though, is failing so utterly to pay adequate wages in all other jobs that women see sex jobs as the only viable option...and are way too often right in feeling that way.
I'm wondering if it's ever been considered that Seeking Arrangements has an incentive to inflate the "earnings" of the women on their site to draw in more women to the site. The average earnings being $250K is just bullsh*t in my thoughts. The average earning is likely $0, as much as Seeking Arrangement and TikTok wants to sell it, getting money out of some rich dude is a lot harder than it seems and again, these sources have ample reason to lie about this fact to draw more people in
Its just another version of a get rich quick scam. They act like they are getting wined and dined like an equal but in reality they are just another disposable service worker who has less and less earning potential each year.
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When I was in college my entire friend group except myself was, at one point or another, sugaring. Not one of them ever went on a lavish trip, expensive shopping spree, etc. The whole “these guys are interested more in companionship than they are in sex” thing perpetuated by the Sugar Baby Industrial Complex is a myth. 99% of the time these girls are having sex with the men. I’m all for legalized sex work and sex work is work, but there is no difference between an “escort” and a sugar baby. And all of my friends who were sugaring felt degraded at one point or another. No matter how many women say they feel empowered by this job path they don’t acknowledge the fact that they have zero power in these relationships, and once they’re not in their 20s their earning potential drops to zero.
And I can guarantee that the girls who are showing these lavish trips to Monaco are outright lying because the people who vacation and/or live in Monaco have the kind of wealth that they don’t want bragged about or publicized by some girl they’re paying for the weekend. And the ones who do have super rich “daddies” don’t get them through apps. They get them because they have some kind of access to the spaces these kinds of men occupy.
I'm not for sex work is work. If your landlord can't ask you for a blowjob to pay your rent, and if fact, doing that is harassment, then it's not work. Commercialisation of sex and women's bodies will lead to nothing but erosion of women's rights. To your point of sugaring not being empowering - prostitution isn't empowering either. There's nothing empowering in being bought for someone else's use. And there's nothing empowering in the state legalising the abuse of women. Consent can't be bought. Promotion of "sex work is work" is one of the most misogynistic views I can think of.
@@balalaika852it’s not only women who participate in the industry FYI
@@balalaika852I think we should let those in the industry decide if what they are doing is work 😊
In college, all of my friends were having casual sex with men who had no money. This led some to feel degraded but with no money in return. I think women in all sorts of relationships can lose empowerment and stability if the relationship turns, and it is not limited to sugaring. I know people who have done sugaring and regret it and others who have turned a transactional relationship into marriage with children. I don't think it is anyone's place to tell others how they should conduct their personal relationships or what they should do with their bodies.
@@balalaika852 OK, boomer.
The idea of being alone with a powerful man scares me on a normal basis, but add in a transactional obligation that makes you dependent on him and it sounds like a nightmare. I'd be afraid for my life but maybe that's just me!
saaaaame men who have some form of wealth/power are just the wooooooorst theyre awful
That’s what happened to me when I was 20. It was horrible
@@FireSilver25 i'm so sorry
i feel that about any man. it didn't help growing up around many strong men who controlled everything.
I knew a woman in Montreal who was a sugar baby, it was all married guys 40-65, looking for a younger person to cheat with. She didn’t feel comfortable with that, and found a single retired hockey player, they went on a date and she drank a bit too much, he spiked her drink and she woke up naked in a hotel room with him on top of her. She was too scared to go to police since she had met him on a sugar baby website…very very sad. Thats the reality
Exactly. It is dangerous and the risks are real and serious. It's not some Barbie world fantasy and just an easy way to get luxury handbags.
this is why the normalization of this mess is dangerous and needs to stop. i know everyone wants to be open minded and accepting but this all just gives into the patriarchy and enables horrible men to have access to vulnerable women.
I have nothing wrong with transparent sex work. However, what I find dubious is a lot of these sugaring influencers will say they just pay them attention and don’t do anything sexual which falsely represents the reality to many young women. It’s best to be upfront on what it is.
i wonder if any influencers saying that are actually recruiters getting some kind of kickback.
a famous sugaring forum mentioned that only happens if the male is suffering from ED or he has her doing far other degenerate behavior
Nothing wrong? Really?
There's a real "come on, how dumb do you think we all are?" to the people claiming that it's usually just about your sugar mama/daddy wanting some company and totally not about sex. It's a transactional relationship and almost certainly involves sex. As you pointed out, depending on the specifics that'll fall anywhere on the spectrum between trophy girlfriend and escorting-with-extra-steps. You do you if that's your bag (but be safe and keep your eyes open), but let's all please be honest with each other and ourselves.
It’s sad to me that being a sugar baby is being glamorised as a desirable lifestyle. There isn’t anything desirable about selling your body for money. The risk of sexual violence, other forms of abuse and negative mental health consequences is huge. I don’t want to shame these women but I do think they have a responsibility to promote a balanced view of what they are doing. Negatives should be shown too. Also If prostitution is truly so empowering why aren’t we empowering men to to do it ?
A lot of us already being exploited, yet we still don’t have enough money to survive. Sugaring presents a scenario where women get exploited but for way more money
@@TheJadedJames get another job or change jobs? Having sex for money should be a last resort before committing actual crimes.
Men are prostitutes too…
@@Loganhon My point here is, I can understand why a young attractive woman might consider sugaring (a job that exploits her but pays more than enough to cover her basic needs) vs working for less than 15 bucks an hour as a clerk somewhere.
Are you surprised? Liberals like Chelsea celebrate degeneracy.
not just the financial aspect that comes with an expiry, emphasis should be made more about their personal safety too. Some of the younger ones could end up being outright trafficked if they don't have the street smarts.
Gollum in a Polo Shirt. That’s a third degree burn, Ma’am 🔥
😂😂😂
I cackled and WILL use that insult in the future. TRUST.
Legend has it if you say "Ubiquitous" three times while clicking your heels together- Chelsea will appear and grant you three wishes.
lol! i know, right?! I'm like is "ubiquitous" on your "word of the day," calendar?
😅😅😅😅
I am in my 30’s and it is so bizarre to me how much this ish has been normalized. When I was college-aged/early 20’s almost no one who wasn’t absolutely desperate or already engaged in sex work considered this a realistic option. This was the case even after the 2008 financial crisis and subsequent recession. This whole transactional relationship culture was not something that really existed as a cultural norm and was definitely not viewed as aspirational. I’ve been concerned for a while; a lot of girls and women seem caught up in the most glamorous potential outcome of these kinds of lifestyles and not the reality for most, which is a life with little to no financial autonomy, little bodily autonomy, and a lack of ultimate control over one’s life.
This is sooo true. Well said
I think it's just more visible now. I followed a number of sex workers (mostly cam girls and sugar babies) on tumblr in the 2010s, and they had to constantly warn younger people away from sex work. Tumblr feminists had latched onto the idea that sex work is inherantly empowering and a lot of young women bought into the fantasies that Chelsea discusses.
Having visibility on social media is not the same as normalized. What % of people actually engage in this? 1/10000? More or less? We need to be careful about viewing this content and thinking it’s “normal” when the reality for most people is far from it. Its the same wariness we should view everything we see on social media.
@@jillhoffman9179 you’re correct, but sadly it’s just not that uncommon. I know more than one person PERSONALLY that is subscribing to this. And I am not in sexxwork, nor do I want to be, I have a career in corporate America (sadly lol) People are actively trying to remove the stigma of being a sugar baby. There is a push of normalization with this, because they shame other people for not seeing relationships the way they do. My tik tok has been SWAMPED with this content before I had to clean up my algorithm and I still see it.
I find it amazing that the current economic climate is worse than it was in 2008, worse even than the Great Depression according to many economists, and yet no one talks about it so people who are financially more stable have no idea how hard things are for younger and less privileged people.
I'm in my 20s and find the idea of sex work repulsive but I have considered it. Not because I'm fooled by Instagram optics but because rent, food, utilities, and fuel prices have risen so much my living costs have tripled in the past 6 months. I've reduced purchases and barely heat my house but the UK economy is up shits creek.
If I do it I'll write up a contract with the boundaries I'm happy with and what i expect in return, I'll carry pepper spray, and I'll save whatever I can.
My FYP hates me, and I was introduced to saga of Cindy and Pumpkin against my will. Everything was great in her old videos when showing their lavish dates and her wardrobe. But oh "How the turns table" when she became pregnant and had a baby. The videos and lives were then him screaming and telling her he was throwing her and a 1 week old baby out of the apartment he was paying for and was in his name. It's clear she had no savings or emergency fund because she stayed in an apartment with a hostile man screaming at her instead of getting her and the baby to safety. Take care ladies, gentlemen, they because the faucet turns off as quickly as it turned on when they're done.
💯💯💯💯💯
TFD I LOVE YOUR PAGE so much and your honesty and the hard work you put into your topics is top notch!💕🙌🏽 I’ve been a nurse for 16 years and one thing I do not like about a lot of this imagery on social media is that it glosses over the full truth. I worked in sexual health for 7 years and had many young female and some male clients who were survivors of assault and sex trafficking. Being a sugar baby means you don’t have the legal right to health insurance or basic protections from your provider. You surrender control of your day to day life and you put your safety and health at risk. Wealth does not equal character and ONE WAY or another you have to pay for what you get in this life.
Yeah, there is antibiotic resistant strain for Gonoreah out there. Imagine that, as a cost for sugaring or doing sex work or being uncareful promiscuous. For the rest of your life, smelly and painful fluids from your cuchie for decades to come. I consider it worse than HIV since there is no medication for it.
This widespread push to encourage young women to consider prostitution as a legitimate and harmless financial plan, in the name of feminism, is one of the most depressing trends in my lifetime.
Liberal feminism is destroying everything that traditional feminism has achieved for women.
If that’s the most depressing one to you then i question your character.
As if dying in jobs is cool
@@edithandlezMay I ask what depresses you? Promiscuity is really changing our world for the worse. I mean I realize that there is war and famine but everyone has their own opinion.
Fully agree- and if you question it you are told your are “sex negative” and what is the different between this and any other job” what other job can get your pregnant and sexually transmitted diseases and abused under the veil of “kink”
Yes, we should be judgemental. Raising or telling women, that's its ok to be a "sugar baby" is horrific. Basically, a woman becomes a prostitute. We need more doctors, nurses, teachers, engineers & not "sugar babies".
Having said that, if a woman feels that's how she wants make income, then we have to accept it's the world's oldest profession.
Agreed. There are many OF "Content Creators" who are burning themselves into the ground. I saw a video showing one OF Girl after one year on that platform saying she now hates men and now regrets ever doing it.
Many women do sex work to pay for the degrees to become lawyers and doctors
What we need and what people would prefer to do is not what many have the access to pursue. That's one reason why it's the world's oldest profession. The judgement, "You do a terrible thing that society does not value," keeps fewer people out of the profession than exploitation forces into it.
She did judge, however given her background, she judged on a favourable side. I don't agree with her. This trend of normalising a degrading trend does not increase the well-being of a society as a whole. There are just a very few winners - the ones who have enormous wealth.
Sugaring isn’t something that you can put on your resume to leverage for a job. Not only do you not get a 401k or other benefits (health insurance) that you would in a traditional job, you're also not paying into federal programs that exist for your financial protection, like Unemployment, Social Security Disability Insurance, or state Temporary Disability Insurance. Hopefully you won't need to use these safety nets, but you never know.
You can def pay for retirement or insurance this is a silly take. No one expects to have it on their resume but it’s not typically a full time job but a side hustle
I think people aren't taking into account that if you have a real job, even if it is lower paying, it can allow you to gain the experience and skills you need to get a higher paying job. In contrast, if you spend the most of your time sugaring, you won't be able to leverage that experience.
I imagine the more experience you have sugaring, the less valuable you become as a sugar baby. You’re older and guys paying for this prefer inexperience
they want a young girl they can manipulate and doesn't know what "she's worth". the entire culture is predatory, like all sxx work, and serves the johns first and foremost @@TheJadedJames
I cannot believe we got Chelsea discussing Sugaring and I’m here for it 🍿🍷😊
Yes
Anything that brings money is good business
I thought you meant vaj sugaring at first lol
@@shreehill9641 lol
This is all so superficial, I dated someone older when I was younger, I wish I had all that time back! I wish I had spent that time enyoing and growing with a partern that sees me as an equal.
you are selling your time, your romantic, your best time, your inocence and growth. Its way too valuable to exchange it for money, you are that age only once, and sell it to someone that already enjoyed their youth.
I have been wanting to hear a take on this for the longest time! You should interview a sugar baby if it’s feasible. I really think it’s important for women to talk about this, especially the financial details and strategies.
Sugaring destroyed one of my friendships with a long time friend.
One of my best friends started doing it in college, and she made me a bet that she could earn more money than me in a summer.
We actually made about the same, so it is a lucrative option (I was making 45/hr as an intern).
Eventually though, she got really close to some of her sugar daddy/friends, and they convinced her that people like me and my friends “tech trash” were terrible people :(
I’m sorry that happened to you. Theres definetly an inherent classism dynamic thats promoted by these influencers or even the sugar daddies themselves. You are probably doing better now than she is
I wonder if he was trying to isolate her by getting her to cut off her close friends…
I think de-stigmatizing this kind of thing is good because it helps to talk about safety and rights, but it breaks my heart to see it go all the way from de-stigmatization to outright making it aspirational. I don't know, it's just awful to tell a woman to DREAM of becoming someone's sugarbaby or trophy wife, to aspire to reach it like it's the ultimate feminist humanist dream. Going beyond normalizing "intimacy and love in return for money" to glorifying it. None of this is great.
Thank you! I will never shame anyone for turning to sugaring to get by but we also shouldn’t glamourize it to the extent that it has been, especially without discussing the risks. I considered doing it at various points of my 20s but ultimately chickened out each time. It’s worth noting that not all sugar arrangements are created equal. A couple of my friends have done it and at times they’ve been able to reap some sweet benefits, however, they’ve been taken advantage of, scammed, raped and at risk of being seriously harmed in other ways. Even when my friends were being given a lot of money and they were able to cover their rent, utilities, car payments etc. they were expected to spend a lot of the money they were being given on maintaining their physical appearances and buying expensive clothing and lingerie. It’s also worth noting that lot of the arrangements they entered in started off as non-sexual but in most cases, the sugar daddy would eventually threaten to cut them off if they didn’t have sex with them. Ultimately, a lot of these arrangements seem to be structured to keep the sugar baby reliant on their sugar daddy/mama. Like I said, I will never judge someone for engaging in these types of arrangements to get by and if someone wants to be a sugar baby, trophy wife or stay-at-home girlfriend, that’s their choice but it’s important that we don’t gloss over all the risks.
Being a sugar baby just doesnt seem like a good business model to me. High start up costs in terms of hair, makeup, clothes to attract these guys.
Many are doing this secretly, due to social judgement so there is no support system if things go wrong.
You have no legal protections, at least with a job they have to give you notice. You may get the money or you may not , its based on the whim of another person. Plus you are completely disposable.😢. It makes better sense to network with wealthy people (men and women) for your own career or business advancement.
Yes, smart Sugar babies have multiple suitors (even if they are only intimate with one) and get their daddies to invest in their business or education
Unfortunately it have at least a chance for bettering life quality and better possibilities than working 9/5 for below the living wage. Peeps are gettimg into dept just to pay rent and food to continue to go to work that wont let them live ok lives, hut is necessary for the economy and society
@@fehyndana7725 respectfully, I see this kind of comment on a lot of sugar baby commentary. I find it so glib. Its difficult to find 1 stable suitor, let alone several. The amounts being given are not enough to pay bills and have enough capital to start a meaningful business. Not to mention the time involved in trying to juggle being a sugar baby who is meant to look 100% all the time (which means hair, nail appointments and shopping for new clothes), being at someone's beck and call for dates (some local and some international) and somehow start and develop a thriving business in your downtime - its just doesn't seem realistic.
@@channelpersonal6172 I don't think so. A sugar baby has to meet a guy, date a guy and somehow convince him to agree to a transactional relationship. Up until the agreement and 1st payment all the effort that is being put forward is unpaid. Even if she's successful in setting up an arrangement, if the sugar daddy decides to ditch her, she's back at square one doing unpaid work all over again to find someone new. Being a sugar baby is harder than being in a 9'5 job imo.
It wouldn't be that hard, they often get setup for pre-arranged agreements by underground people in the know (like a high class escort service that already has tons of clients). They know the preferences their VIP clients have for women so can pre-screen the girls to suit those meetings and if they don't want to do it they'll send someone else who will.@@christieomojo
"No man would choose an ugly woman if he can have a pretty one. Don't choose a poor man if you can have a rich one."
This is it. We found the epitaph to put on America's tombstone.
It’s refreshing to see a nuanced take on sugaring. 👏🏽
You did NOT just deadpan drop “Gollum in a polo shirt” 💀
"Sugar parents" is a hilarious and disturbing term.
Also, Chelsea, your plant is alive. Watch out for an Audrey 2 scenario!
I experienced something similar that, at the time, seemed harmless and helpful to me. But the more I matured the more I realized how exploited I was by a manipulative predator. He controlled my life in so many ways and even though he unalived himself many years ago I still have nightmares about him.
Please, to the young ladies watching, build your self up. It’s delayed gratification but sooooo much better.
The men who do this are unable to have equitable relationships with women their own age and want malleable young tenderonies they have power over. Plus they likely discarded or are neglecting their wives who helped them build that wealth.
Its insane how divided the society gets where women have to resort to prostitution to pay rent like in the tird world countries. Although that rent is $5000 a month in Manhattan
Do you mean to tell me that young ,healthy and capable of work people cannot do any other type of work to pay their bills? Or is it maybe more fashionable to make fast easy and a lot of money?
Lol no one has to live in Manhattan. you can rent in queens for $2k. Many sugar babies just chose to live the high life in a nice high rise in the city instead of splitting the rent with a dusty boyfriend in some sh*t hole
@@Mina-hm2ogI did it so I didn’t have to work while being in college and focus on my studies instead and to travel as often as I could in my 20’s, which I could not afford in my own. I don’t regret a thing and would do it again, I ended up meeting my husband through it. I do regret paying out of pocket to travel to see my far distance boyfriend who ended up cheating on me anyway. Men are not worth my time unless they provide is what I learned from all my pre sugar relationships
@@Mina-hm2og not for that kind of money, and even if they will get hired somewhere as a "secretary" something sexual is to be expected.
@@fehyndana7725 Im gonna be honest that last part sounds like something you want to work through. Im not sure if its the right mindset to only look at potential relationships transactionally. What are you expecting them to provide? what are you providing? is that an equal push and pull? Im not saying that the first part is disagreeable, thats your experience and I respect that, but idk about that view of future relationships, as well as the dynamic of expectation there.
Sex work is not some liberation of a vulnerable population. If you don't believe me, ask anyone working in your local red light district.
"The worker sinks to the level of a commodity, and becomes indeed the most wretched of commodities."
Interestingly, I see it as an indicator that the career-driven girlboss narrative, especially 90s career women style, is phasing out of favor. A new "aspirational" lifestyle is filling this vacuum.
I believe it has to do with the types of jobs people can get and how they are compensated for them these days. The more I work (regular 9-5) the more I find that it is not even more money I miss the most, but more time... even though I could not spend 3 months in the mediterranean first class and five stars, but I definitely would like more free time to be spending the way I choose. And for stay-at-home gfs, just looking at how they are killing time making green juice or matcha tea or meditating, having hours and hours for themselves, it kind of makes me feel envious... before I consider all the freedom they are giving up for that free time. I see the same thing with sugaring, these people might be getting something great, but for a great sacrifice also. If work would be a much better alternative, I believe less people would resort to these more extreme ways to get what they need or think they need.
"A lot of the men just want to have sex with you" ? duh. I think it is funny for people to pretend that's not the underlying transaction. best to assume that is the expected transaction and then maybe be surprised if it actually isn't.
I am excluding sex workers who do it solely out of necessity and for survival, but god, I wish people would stop tip-toeing around the fact that sex work is incredibly degrading and soul-sucking. And no, the vast majority of people do not take you seriously regardless of how many times you say "sex work is work".
There have been some preliminary studies so far showing mental health issues associated with Onlyfans, and I expect more studies in the coming decade to give more data pointing to the same thing. I'm friends with many onlyfans girls and that work is genuinely soul crushing and mentally taxing. It isn't even about shame or puritan culture. The power imbalance of relying on men for your rent, and having to act a certain way to retain that, is awful in all regards. It's like working the worst retail job you can think of, while also being responsible for all the overhead/management, finding clients, etc. We as leftists criticize the "just join the army" rhetoric that takes advantage of poor men, and this is seemingly the exact same thing for the opposite end of the gender spectrum. I don't think it's very girlboss to sell this image of sex work that doesn't really exist.
How *exactly* is this different from prostitution? I'm not judging either way - I grew up in a society where sex word is legal - I'm just feel like there's some cognitive dissonance where "sugar babies" are concerned.
I think it’s just broader. In some situations it could be classified as a kind of sex work or prostitution very easily, in others it may fall into a grey area. I don’t know that people have cognitive dissonance about it - to me, it seems more to just be something that falls a bit outside of established social categories which makes it hard to speak about in absolutes. Open to hearing from people who are more familiar than I am though
It's not. They're too ashamed to call themselves prostitutes so they went with a cute name.
It's different in many aspects: cost, length of time interacting, the socializing aspect. It'd be analogous to the difference between taking a cab, renting a car, and hiring a chauffeur.
It's on the prostitution spectrum. Hoe adjacent.
@@epbrown01but those factors aren’t dependent on whether or not you’re a prostitute or “sugar baby” (which to me is just a prostitute), they’re dependent on an individual basis. “Sugar babies” aren’t providing any difference in service to prostitutes. It’s seems like the only difference you’re highlighting is the “quality” of service or the “quality” of the individual themselves between the two given your analogy which doesn’t make sense as there’s a complete overlap in the duties and factors you’ve listed between the two. It simply depends on the worker and the clients needs
There is a major amount of priviledge in being able to consider the possibility of being a sugar baby, this must be acknoledged in whatever analisys we make. That being said, it seems that the major societal source of this kind of position is just wealth inequality. Again, adress inequality and all the problems related to sugarness go away.
This might sound stupid, but when I was a teenager, I played this mobile app (I don’t remember what it’s called) that I LOVED. It was basically a high school sim where each student had traits and their were stories and romance you could complete. I absolutely LOVED this game…until my older sister’s boyfriend hacked it somehow and I had infinite money. I could rush through every story without watching for the cooldown, buy any clothes; build any building. Suddenly, it wasn’t fun anymore. I think that experience really put being rich into perspective for me. I still want money, but I think too much can be mentally draining.
God I hate Capitalism so much. Another factor of Capitalism I despise is how simply living is called a lifestyle, yes me wanting the bare minimum basics of healthcare, free college tuition, affordable housing, organized labor, and the opportunity to get married to woman, and possibly raise children with her, with paid maternity and paternity leave guaranteed to both of us, is a lifestyle and not called simply being a human. A lifestyle is me wanting to travel, drive nice luxury or sports cars, wear different mens fashion, live in certain condos, go to clubs etc. Extras. Needing to live and wanting the bare basic minimum is called existing. I think this is a symptom of massive wealth gaps, and a lack of social safety nets. Conservative morons hate sex workers, but also hate social safety nets. Maybe if we funded college education for everyone, had labor unions, had social safety nets, and affordable housing, less young women would be drawn to sex work. Nah lets continuing funding our empire and bailing out banks and corporations. The bourgeois need to start paying up. And we need to start taxing them. Join a union, start a union. Vote for the most progressive policies you can.
Do you prefer communism?
Well said. The most sickening thing is we don't even live in a pure capitalist system across the board... What America has is "socialism for the super rich and poor, harsh capitalism for working class people in-between."
So are you saying you want a bourgeois lifestyle, but make that the mainstream?
@@MaritzaRodriguez-rs5kw Why not? If it's for the taking.
@@icantwiththis god willing
I tried sugaring once; didn’t even get the first strip off before I decided I would rather just continue to have hairy legs. So f%^*ing painful.
This is a full time job (because men require a lot of attention) for $2800 a month! Plus you have to pay to maintain those looks (waxing, tanning, hair dye, make up, clothes). Sounds like a net financial loss to me.
Chelsea said that she’s a tithing member of the church of get your bag 👏🏾👏🏾💅🏾💅🏾
Sugar baby is such a tacky term. Can we bring back courtesan?
I'd like to think these girls aren't that dunb to rely financially on a man completely.
I think they're finessing them and they putting their money away whil he fronts the cost.
I'm not thin, blonde or foreign so I had to go to school and get degrees actually lol. I couldn't rely on my looks so thankfully I'm not put in compromised situations.
Always looked at sugaring as gambling. There are definitely winners and losers. Some leave with nothing, some leave with everything, while most leave with something in between.
That being said they are probably playing against a stacked deck and a crooked dealer.
15:59 this made me think of when I was a nanny, and the couple I was working for was divorcing (95-96). She didn’t really go after him, actually in retrospect she could have gotten more, but her and her kids were taken care of until the youngest was 23 (use of the home and monthly child support). However, he did cheat, so while she still had the credit card we went to a concert together, one of the rare times he had the kid. We charged every beer🍻and merch we bought. Racked up just under $300. It wasn’t much, but she felt so vindicated and free in the moment.
i know a woman who was sugaring into her 50s when her sugar daddy left her for another baby (also a mature woman) she had lived a rather lavish life in her youner years ad had failed to put anything aside. but she is a lovley woman who is still getting alon on her charms.
Man. I love that she was in her 50s ❤
Depending on the generosity of others for life and luxury is the most f-up way to live.
@@melc4308no, it’s not the same.
It's absolutely not the same. You build skills and then you go find another job if you get fired, or you start your own business. And if you're a sugar baby and your sugar daddy dumps you, you're in a huge problem if you don't find another one. Which will happen as these young women age.
@@henlo313 dude, that's literally a job
@@melc4308Working using brains and brawns means you earn the keeps and not depending on others' generosity. You can leave for better pay or start off own business with that kind of attitude. Using beauty and sex to lure money with nothing else to offer means you are heavily dependent on others for money. Once you are dumped it means you need to find someone else to latch into, and the older you get the more difficult it will be.
The former is appreciating asset due to experience, the latter is depreciating assets due to aging. It's not the same and will never be the same.
@@melc4308 I mean... I'm really sorry if it's like that where you live, and this is one of the reasons why capitalism is a death machine, but no, "a job" is not supposed to be like this, and in fact it is not like that everywhere.
I Stan the consistent content you guys push out 🥹
Capitalistic hyper-exploitation and social media morals notwithstanding, there are tax implications for this type of livelihood generation that one might want to consider or be advised on. Funny this was not mentioned.
I’ve always wondered about this
Honest question- how would that be? Is he going to claim business expenses for “Services by Jane Doe” and if you’re Jane, you should be filing taxes on that income?
Probably technically according to the IRS yes you should, but if there’s no paper trail, how is anyone going to follow this?
What am I missing?
@@Amy-abc Gift tax hits above a certain dollar amount. That's why game show contestants who win cars often sell them-- because they can't afford the gift tax
@@qwertydeluxe Ok, that's one point. But still, how will the IRS know that Jane Doe got a "gift"? John Q Public isn't going to declare he granted this person a gift... will he?
I'm just really trying to walk through the practical steps of how people would treat this situation. Depending on his own business & tax situation, he may want to expense/write off as much as he can. That could put her in a situation of tax liability, But, if he wanted to keep the situation hush, then why expose it?
I still don't get it conceptually nor tactically. I wonder what @deantunkara1567 meant with their statement.
something i honestly cant believe is that theres ppl who try n dive into sugaring w/o thinking abt how hard itd be to find an sd who is legit n also doesnt wanna have sex ??? those r literally the good ones n the best of anything is always taken by the time most ppl try to get into it lol
Sounds about as likely as finding a unicorn in the swinging community.
Yeah, we tend to only hear about the glamorous/ideal side of sugaring and the significant risks get glossed over. I have friends who have sugared and I considered it at multiple points and even went as far to make an account on one of those websites and started talking to potential sugar daddies (but ultimately chicken out). The truth is, the majority of sugar daddies do expect some type of sexual relationship with sugar babies. Sure, not all of them do, but they are the exception not the rule. Most arrangements are also structured to keep sugar babies reliant on their sugar daddy/mama and they’re given enough money to cover their main expenses but they’re also expected to allocate that money towards maintaining a certain physical appearance and lifestyle leaving them very little money to save. A lot of my friends entered arrangements that started off as non-sexual but at some point the sugar daddy would threaten to cut them off unless they did have sex with them. Sex work is work and I will never judge someone for supporting themselves that way, however, it does concern me when the risks of sex work and/or sugaring are glossed over. A lot of sugar babies get taken advantage of, scammed, raped and harmed in other ways.
I suppose if someone strives to effectively be a pet, they should at least make sure they are a well compensated pet. While it lasts, anyway, and before their master seeks a younger model. It's not exactly a long-term prospect, is it?
Paying for any kind of fake intimacy is deeply depressing and I don’t know how you’d maintain your dignity after doing so.
Honestly? I get it, and I don't judge.
Yeah. It is one thing be have money, this it is easier to initiate relationships. But a transparently transactional physical relationship would be so depressing and kind of emasculating
It's complicated, such a difference in a relationship built on chemistry, compatibility, and shared goals vs a more transactional relationship. Sucks that capitalism and other systems in place encourage this kind of behavior from both men and women.
I'm not judging the individuals so much, but as a whole I think these very transactional relationships make society worse and erode our humanity a little which is sad to see. You also have to consider each relationship on a case by case basis. It's just complicated.
This isn't a capitalism problem. This "sugaring" is the world's oldest profession and has existed in every society and system. Girls selling their bodies for money and men giving them money is nothing new.
Thiting member of “Get Your Bag” I am cackling 😂
Its prostitution or escorting in a soft intro way. Lets call it what ot is.
I appreciate that you are telling us about the reality of sugaring and giving financial advice to women who do it, but enough with the pro-pimp "sex work is work" mantra and pretending that there is anything empowering about prostitution. Also we can call it "sugaring" as much as we want, it doesn't change the fact that it is prostitution by another name.
If it was empowering, men would be doing it. Instead, men are busy pursuing things that give them actual power (often over these same women), while we are sold scrambling for the crumbs that fall off the men's table as empowerment.
I'm all for empowerment of women in whatever way possible. But there is a HUGE difference between a performer, i.e. a stripper, onlyfans cam girl, etc. vs. a SUGAR BABY. There is nothing wrong with getting men (or women) to pay you to enjoy looking at your body. It's different when it involves a relationship with a man who is wealthier than you, has more power than you, and is overall DEMANDING you to have a relationship with them in exchange for money. It may not always be about sex, but 90% of being a sugar baby, is having sex with them.
I have friends in the industry, on OF, and have had sugar daddies. None of these things are long term for them and they know that. The problem with TikTok in general, is that markets everything to a GenZ/GenX audience -- literal CHILDREN who are susceptible to believe ANYTHING they hear/see on that app.
A part of me will always wish that I was a young, beautiful, blonde white girl so that I could either find a (kind) sugar daddy or sell my eggs. I'd probably not consider the former but definitely the later. I respect your nuanced take on tis subject, we need this type of unbiased deep dive in this modern world
Yikes! You are over sharing. Wishing you were "a young, beautiful, blonde white girl" says a lot about you and little of it is good.
@@deantunkara1567 , I can hardly see what is bad about wishing that. Could you develop a little more?
What about your life experience makes you wish that? Wishing you well
@@Blahgirl283 I can understand where OP is coming from. Young pretty blonde white girls gets the most attention and the most desirable in society. Even average looking blonde white women gets attention. As a minority woman I have felt salty and left parties jaded AF because a man didn't talk to me or even look my way. It can be lonely and depressing not feeling desired. App dating is shitty too. The women that gets 100s of likes are usually white and blonde, hence why OP said that she wishes she was white. It's easy to sugar when you're desirable...
@@deantunkara1567being white means u can sell ur eggs for more bc white children r considered more desirable for things like that / adoption :/ ( its unfortunate n ive personally never wanted to be white but i get what they meant )
Tithing member at the church of get your bag 😂😂😂 Chelsea is too funny
This is one of your best videos yet. Truly.
Everything about this video is very well done. The writing the editing the way you speak. Exceeeeept the sound is very bad. Sounds like you are talking on a laptop mic. A better mic or at least a noisegate plus a low level backround music track would do wonders here.
I saw sugar dating websites 20 years ago, it’s still not mainstream now, it’ll probably always be fringe, few really think it glamorous. People enter this type of relationship for all kinds of reasons, as long as they have an exit strategy, it’s just like any other job.
The terms daddy and baby in this context are truly cringeworthy.
That should be reason enough for someone with the means to disregard getting into 'it' at all.
another video i watched on age gaps in celeb relationships highlighted this one model from south america whose dated some of the most powerful men in hollywood. pretty, skinny, attempted acting in her late teens and 20-30 years later, has been associated with several rich men in hollywood. life has no rules, only results and every decision has consequences.
i think if you can make a life out of partnering with rich men who will date/provide for your entire life (not just pay you for sex *eye rolls*), it sounds amazing. never having to work and literally being able to retire your family because some weirdo named Alec Baldwin wants to date/marry you is clutch af. BUT YOU CAN NEVER KNOW THAT GOING INTO A RELATIONSHIP so its a dice roll and not smart to rely on it or expect it.
There are so many sexist comments on this. It's very dishearting...
As a former swer though this video was very good! You really do need to look out for yourself in the industry and focus on having a smart financial plan because the money can go as fast as it comes.. assuming the person can good enough at the job to make any decent money from it
lol Golem in a polo shirt
You deserve applause for even talking about this subject 👏👏👏
Enjoy the handbags and lavish trips now. Choke down the bitter taste of boxed wine and ASRI’s later 🥂
Is something wrong with the audio? it sounds like she’s speaking in a tin can
Sugar Daddy should pay up.
Yes
Her lavalier mic likely disconnected so the audio is from a camera mic. It happens, you’ll live.
It’s acknowledged at the start
1:36 audio disclaimer
I don't know what its like in other provinces and states, but where i live, there's virtually no difference in property rights if youre married or common-law (lived together in a marriage like relationship for 2 years).
What’s old is new. In the early 2010s sugar baby thing was a phenomenon with the Seeking Arrangements website. And then didn’t see anything about it. Now it’s back. Whoever controls the $$ determines what happens.
_My sister wants to be a sugar baby but, fortunately, she has a face made for radio._ 😅
It's so funny to even see this as a viable option considering that most men are also poor lmao😅 UNFORTUNATELY men are largely working class and we have to have solidarity with them (tragic)
Hi Chelsea! Excited to watch this video, wanted to let you know that at the beginning around 0:41 there is an error with the edit where the audio continues but the wrong clip is synced with it, looks like a camera test maybe. Just wanted to let you know in case it's something you're able to update in the TH-cam editor!
Watching the Video and Chelsea discuss on this topic really makes me think guys -
Its better to be Average Plain Jane and Being ugly is sometimes definetly a blessing in disguise🤣😭🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂
i agree with everything. chelsea’s style today looks like a middle aged high society librarian 🤓
I wish modern culture was more gender-equal and Sugar Mommies were just as popular a phenonemon as Sugar Daddies and young men would praise the advantages of the transactional lifestyle choice.
What frustrates me are the double standards, a older woman as a financial benefit partner for a young man would be shameful and societally frowned upon more than a Sugar Daddy - Sugar Baby monetary relationship.
I’m here for all transactional relationships because historically marriages were transactional and that was normal not shameful. Love marriages were seen as indulgent and shameful and unchristian and kind of selfish since someone could cost their family money by marrying someone poor. Marriage doesn’t automatically make your relationship non transactional or more legitimate to everyone just the law and the church
Preach!
💀Gollum in a polo shirt! This will stick in my mind forever
It's definitely a myth that men are just about sex. Even to the degree they often want sex, it does boil down to intimacy, as Chelsea says.
It's sad that society in such a state that men's intimacy is reduced to a damned monetary transaction. They are getting to adulthood and fatherhood without a solid understanding of how to socially interact with people to find real companionship, intimacy, and connection.
And overall, it's sad that the economy is chewing people up and spitting them out into adulthood unable to provide for themselves. The fact that anyone should have to rent themselves out to make ends meet, is messed up.
It’s too expensive to live... that’s breeds a climate where this job seems appealing.. I love the folks willing to share/speak their truth about sugaring.. so anyone who follows can decide to make their own decision with more information than going in blind..
ITS NOT OK TO DO THIS. The “ you do you” mentality is what is wrong with society. Whether they admit it or not, these women are sad, lonely and desperate. It’s bullshit when they say they aren’t.
Very nice blouse! Let's say "no" to sugaring, - since it's not healthy!
Is the "stay-at-home girlfriend" dynamic the new sexual version of the "gig economy"?
Love this insight! Appreciate you Chelsea.
A Birkin bag is not an investment 🤷🏾♀️
Gotta say I love how you bring finances and social justice together. Making each more accessible and approachable. Thank you for being a living example of what a responsible and empowering company and person can do! 💛
This is a rather one-sided perspective. You're correct that exploitation is rampant in this type of dating, but failed to mention it's rampant on both sides. There's plenty of scammers, liars and greed on both sides of the equation. I can vouch from experience. Your perspective displays only ethical concerns for one side of that type of relationship. While paying no concern for the guys bankrupting themselves for love and sex. People who struggle to find it otherwise and overspend immersed in the high of intimacy. Exploitation and unethical behavior is rampant on both sides in that world and your video seems to encourage it for one side using societal injustices as justification to step on other individuals. Encouraging women to use their bodies and companionship like drug dealers. Side note I like a lot of your other content and am a subscriber. This video was off the mark and one-sided.
Golum in a polo shirt- i LOVE IT
Lol you're talking about Palmar Kelly her account got hacked, nothing bad with cruise daddy 😅
And then the realm of friends with benefits is also something else
I absolutely despise the narrative twisting at play - if "companionship" is the goal - go do dating. But if there's an arrangement that obligates one party to provide services in exchange for some kind of currency (goods or cash) that's straight up business, nothing more. The sugar baby thing just replaces the implied possibility of sex for the pretext of sex. B/s this is a companionship thing, no matter how good the relationship rapport is, it comes down to an ACTUAL agreed-upon fee. Sure dating today has become somewhat transactional, but that's still between two people on the same field. This on the other hand is client and worker. Do what you gotta, but like OF, it's still sex work at the end of the day
Justice for cruise daddy, I can't 🤣🤣
Yeah, a job entirely dependent on how pretty men think you are that inevitably attracts the worst type of men, just...isn't empowering.
The real moral failure in society though, is failing so utterly to pay adequate wages in all other jobs that women see sex jobs as the only viable option...and are way too often right in feeling that way.
i doubt sugaring did wonders for her self esteem. self esteem isn’t gained through the validation of another person. maybe she means confidence
Chelsea before saying prostitution is like Pretty Woman you should educate yourself.
SeekingArrangement needs to burn to the ground
I'm wondering if it's ever been considered that Seeking Arrangements has an incentive to inflate the "earnings" of the women on their site to draw in more women to the site. The average earnings being $250K is just bullsh*t in my thoughts. The average earning is likely $0, as much as Seeking Arrangement and TikTok wants to sell it, getting money out of some rich dude is a lot harder than it seems and again, these sources have ample reason to lie about this fact to draw more people in
Its just another version of a get rich quick scam. They act like they are getting wined and dined like an equal but in reality they are just another disposable service worker who has less and less earning potential each year.
the plants in the background just there living its own life
It's funny how women take something so obvious and turn it into an "honest discussion". 😅
I’m waiting for the website that pairs babies with daddies who will pay their student loans
Calling it “sugaring” doesn’t disguise that it is basically sex work with benefits.
We used to call that prostitution. Pretty woman was a great movie.😂