Teaching Adoptive Parents to Care for Natural Hair
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 20 ก.ย. 2024
- Every child deserves to be properly groomed and to feel confident in their sense of self and in their cultural identity. But for many transracial families, especially those where Black children are adopted by non-Black parents, hair care becomes a point of struggle. Many non-Black parents find that their unfamiliarity with their children’s natural hair leaves their kids at a disadvantage. That’s where Tamekia Swint comes in. As the founder and executive director of the non-profit Styles 4 Kidz, she is creating a space for parents to learn how to care for their children’s hair without judgment or negative criticism.
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#Hair #Family #Adoption
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I am ethiopian and was adopted when I was 4 years old. My mom had NO clue how to do hair but she learned for me and she would practice until she got it perfect. Thank you mama for learning and always being there for me ❤️❤️
ty for the wholesome comment
Ok you just gave me my daily wholesome dose
Awh :)
🇪🇹🇪🇹🇪🇹!!
omg im Ethiopian too but i was adopted at 4 months and my parents didnt learn to care for my hear lmao
The parents took the time to know how to do their child's hair and I respect that. 👌🏻
it aint fixing
@@eb.3764 If they're in the South then using the word fixin isn't bad. That's how southerners talk, "I'm fixin to make a sandwich". Fixin=verb, going to do something.
Shelby McL I’m white. I have to fix my hair in the morning. That’s what you say when you have to do your hair.
@@agricolaregs Yeah that's a better example lol. Idk why I used a sandwich as a example sentence.
@@agricolaregs I've heard people even say "I'm fixin to fix..." and finish off the sentence.
I love that these parents are taking the time to learn how to do their child’s hair. They could have chose to have their hair looking any kind of way, but they want to learn how to make their hair amazing. It warms my heart ☺️
the ability to provide basic physical care and grooming to a child is not at all heartwarming. if an adoptive parent "chose to have their hair looking any kind of way", they should not be allowed to adopt.
Nonya Bizness in my opinion it is heartwarming. All people can do in life is try. These parents want to try. I know you said that the shouldn’t be able to adopt if the can’t properly care for their child but if they adopt a child they want one to love. Hair is a small fraction in the grand scheme of things. And these people are opening up to a family, not a hairstyle.
@@honeymoney1236 we can all agree that rule #1 of being a good parent is that it's not about you anymore. same rule applies to any adoption. do it because you think you have what it takes to GIVE a child all that they need to grow into a healthy, well-adjusted, complete adult human being. not because ~you want~ a baby.
adoption rule #1a is that if you prefer a white baby, but they offer you a brown one, don't break rule #1. be brutally honest with yourself, don't be selfish, remember that being a parent is not about what YOU want, and just say NO.
look, i could write a thesis on this, based on decades of research, experience, and life, but i won't here. suffice to say that white people should examine their lives thus far, and if they have not deeply and meaningfully lived and learned and loved across culture and race thus far, ~by choice~, don't start by practicing on a helpless brown human baby.
Nonya Bizness jeez what a stuck up just let people have their own opinion
@@skinnynoodle9820 have your own opinion when you get a puppy.
I'm white, single and have no kids, yet I find myself binging these 'care for natural hair' videos
Antikia maybe it’s a sign 👀
@@lifewithzinnah I was gonna say that lol
Yeah me too, but I really love to learn about culture and identity
@@lifewithzinnah
Haha 😂
They are addictive. 😍
“I have six adoptive children. Three are Haitian & three are AA”. Thank you for making the distinction. There is a difference 👏🏾
Nope still black
@@glamour101girl8 Before there was the concept of race, people identified with their place of birth/ land of their ancestor's. That was the way and should continue to be the way instead of putting us in colour boxes like White, Black, Asian or whatever.
Her daughter was sooo cute. Amazing what a little bit of afternoon will bring.
Glamour101 Girl .. racially yes...but if your talking ethnicity wise then no🤧
What’s the difference?
You women rock! Instead of putting down bi racial families or white families that adopt black kids you are helping them and lifting them up and that's how it should be! I really respect these women for taking the time to do this for these kids and also the parents ❤
@Lauren exactly...we always have to do everything
@Lauren She is one of those resources. I don't get what you find wrong. One of the adoptive moms even said she found Tamika while doing her research.
@Lauren I don't think she was implying that it's anyone's responsibility other than the parents. She pointed out that this particular woman in the video, who's obviously passionate about this, decided to help out rather than to do nothing. Which I think is awesome, too!
Lauren
So you’re telling white people to find resources which can help them learn about their children’s hair and yet actively discouraging using said resources? Are you dumb or something?
Michelle M
Yes because you shouldn’t ask for help/advice from people who have experienced. No one is forcing you to do their hair, right? No one is saying that it’s YOUR responsibility, right? No one is making you do all the work, right? Learning from someone isn’t making them do “everything”. You seem like the type of person who complains when parents find ways to learn how to do their children’s hair and when they don’t. Do you want them to learn or not?
My wife and I are thinking of adopting, this is definitely something I've thought about. I'm glad to know there are resources out there
And you can always ask a friend
Aaawww that's beautiful
if you do not already have a multicultural life, you should cultivate one BEFORE adopting a child that is perceived as being a different culture from you. if you're white, but currently have no ties to or experiences in the black community, what leads people to think they have the ability to raise a healthy black child? personally, my answer to that question is selfishness. people so desperately want a baby they are willing to take a brown one, even though they are utterly unprepared to deal with what will come over the years. they want to feel all warm and happy and satisfied with a new bundle of joy, so push the hard issues of race to the side, rationalizing that 'race doesn't matter anyway'.
argue all you want. i've seen it play out in real life, over and over again, over four decades. if white folks are not already living a multicultural life ~by choice~, they should not adopt a brown baby.
@@nonyabizness.original Hmmm username doesn't check out one bit. I don't know who we're going to adopt, but it won't be based on what they look like. I also don't normally live in America (unlike most whiny Americans I actually leave if I don't like what is going on). You don't know wtf you are talking about or who you are talking to.
I feel so sad when I see a black girl in a white family with a shaved head or completely unstyled hair because they will not take the time to learn. This woman is doing such important work!
Edit 2: I am sorry for the things I have said and I realized that I shouldn't have said those things. I would like to apologize for the dumb things I say on the internet.
You should be happy the child has a loving home.
@@Reeethegreat 3:03 Exactly what she said.
@@Reeethegreat if you can adopt a black kid you can take care of their hair
Maritza Piccarillo what?
My daughter is almost two and mixed and I’m trying out different hair styles and products. I’m so happy with the results, TH-cam helps a lot!
Yeah, thanks god nowadays there is TH-cam for parents who are motivated like you. :)
Thanks for making an effort to do your child's hair. So many parents with mixed kids dont bother to do their hair
Aw, I wish my mom did that for me 💕
mi3helle707 black parents can be lazy too
La Reina del Sur any parent can be lazy, it’s a challenge to do a child’s hair everyday ! Not a specific group of people can just be lazy!!
Look at that mom braiding her daughter's hair like a pro at the end! This woman def makes a difference in these families lives.
When I was going through foster care certification, all of us who were willing to foster transracially, we were required to learn how to take care of their hair. It was very useful! Thank you for doing this!
Imagine this the opposite way around. Black people being taught how to take care of white children. People would go insane and call it racist.
@@demetter7936 not really culture is important maybe not is much in white America but European especially Eastern European counties have strong cultural ties I was in school in the UK with alot of Polish & Filipino kids everything from their food to clothes where specific to their ancestral countries.
@@demetter7936 It's about hair..Not being told how to take care of children per see. Regardless, you'd need to have an idea of how to raise children before deciding to foster.
Demetter no they would call it basic childcare training because hair care is a part of basic grooming you snowflake.
@@demetter7936 no they wouldn't??? If white children had an aspect to them that was much more highmaintanance than black children, then yes black people willing to adopt transracially should learn. No the reality is curly hair is harder to deal with than straight, and curly hair is usually located on black or brown people. It's nothing to do with race
I'm mixed, and my (white) mother just cut off my hair because she didn't know how to deal with it. Eventually, we did get what we needed, and she would take us to afro shops to get our hair done. But I still don't really know how to take care of my own hair, because I was never taught how to do it properly (I'm gonna learn, though; especially in case my future kids get the same texture). I've had dreads for over a decade now, so it's not a problem. That said, people with mixed or adopted kids need to be mindful of this.
Why can’t you use the internet to educate yourself about your hair? Look up different techniques for hairstyling and hair products.
@@aus-li What makes you think I haven't? I have, many a times, but I'm still no expert when it comes to this. I'm just not that preoccupied with hair. Like I said, I have dreadlocks, which are low maintenance. But, again, when the day comes and it's more relevant than it is right now, I'll make sure I know it very well. But thanks for your input.
TheCarlScharnberg Lol, I’m sorry for assuming XD
Dreadlocks, are like, really rad 🤙🏻
keep your dreads, baby girl.
edit: sorry- by my comment, i could be taken as a creeper! 😱 i'm an old lady who was foster mom to a beautiful young lady like you many years ago, who was raised by white folk in an all-white family and community, who were smart enough to be attorneys, but too vexxed by her hair to do anything but cut it all off. it's a long and very sad story... fyi to all, i'm 'white' but did not live my life in a racial bubble, which made it natural for me to care for my own adopted daughter's hair. and her psyche growing up brown in america.
@@aus-li Hehe. It's all good. Thank you - I agree! :) (Though admittedly, it becomes a hassle when it grows to tailbone length. That's when it's time to cut off 20 cm, and I have - three times now! It grows fast!)
It's so nice that these people take the time to learn how to care for their children's hair. They could just do whatever, but they want to do it right and I respect that.
@Erie Lackawanna Railroad ew
@Erie Lackawanna Railroad please don't
Erie Lackawanna Railroad you’re not funny dude
Uma Kotwal this is probably a really stupid question,, but is there an actual benefit to stuff like dreads/corn rolls for natural hair?? I had always thought it was just for fashion, I guess Im barely realizing that these styles go into maintaining the beauty of natural hair!
@Erie Lackawanna Railroad just shush
You’re amazing Tameika
So are you Christy 🥰 Ive watched a few of your videos where you are doing your (black) kids hair and it's so wholesome and heartwarming. Lots of respect from Kenya 🤗🤗
Gracie Gathua Thank you Gracie ☺️
OMG Christy!!! I love your videos!!
Appy Fun thank you
IDC what color of the damn rainbow you are, if you are giving a child/children a chance at having a better life, you're alright with me.
THIS
PERIOD
Right
Truth
Louder for the people in the back
I live in the Chicago area, I'm afro latina, and have no clue how to do my natural hair. My mom has been relaxing her own hair for forever, and had relaxed my hair for the past 12 years of my life. I'm now 19, and in college and I've just past the one year mark of no relaxers. I'm scared to big chop but I'm excited to embrace my natural hair. If these moms can learn, so can I!
Good luck! I hope that u have a fruitful search, and who knows what you might learn about yourself :)
You should look up manes by mell on TH-cam. I love her videos and she has a lot of good information and product recommendations.
I just have to say you are so beautiful
Lilly Caines - you should watch bianca renee today and halfrican beauty:)
Yay, hello fellow chicago fam, doing well?
A looooot of triggered racists in this comment section over the white family who had 6 adopted kids who were only of a darker complexion
I doubt they are refusing to adopt kids based on race, we see that the mother loves her children greatly
When you adopt a kid a good parent picks the personality and the kids situation over anything else
Over the age
Over the appearance
Over everything
And I can say, that is a good parent
Also they completely disregard the fact that some of those children could have been siblings and not necessarily all adopted out one by one according to their skin tones 🙄 at the end of the day nobody knows their story or their intentions 🤷♀️
maybe they also live in an area with a high percentage of african americans therefore a higher percentage of black kids that are up for adoption.
NONYA Business the heritage shouldn’t matter
Well, as the lady in the video said, there aren't enough families in black etc communities adopting, and usually white babies get adopted preferably. So to make that even more imbalanced? By having white people only adopt white babies... That would mean that those other kids land in foster care, and nobody can tell me that that's the better alternative.
Also when a family adopts children of a certain demographic or race or with a disability etc adoption agencies will keep in mind that they're willikg to take thise children so its a possibility the agency tbey used presents them with a certain group of adoptees
She even goes to the store with them and makes house calls! Amazing woman!
Seeing white people adopt black kids and black people adopt white kids always makes me happy for some reason
i felt that
Same 😂 I feel like the world is coming together
Me too, it feels so pure and loving
"No racism" is really a need in this world.
akash kalantre why
I'm white, & I'm married somebody white, so I don't really have a dog in this fight, but I grew up in Birmingham, Alabama. I'll never forget a group of black girls were talking in gym class about interracial dating. Very loud, for everyone to hear... one girl said, "If your gonna have our children, then you need to learn how to do their hair." I don't know why that stuck with me, but it did. Years later I moved next door to a biracial family. The mom was white, the dad was black, & she never did her kids hair. Every time I saw those kids I would always think about what that girl said in the 7th grade... but I never had the heart to repeat it to their mom. Cowardice I know. 😬
Imagine if you did scream that out she would have been shooketh
And the dad didn't either
The black dad could've help. I think it's more his fault for not teaching the mom...
Don't be scared the next time you see a family like that. Educate them
It depends on the hair type. I'm biracial and while I don' have white hair it's not black either. As a matter of fact, people at school sent me home thinking I had lice but it was because I was at my father's for the weekend and his wife put product in my hair like I had black hair and was it too much that made my dandruff seem like lice eggs.
My hair was always slightly drying living with my mother but it wasn't anything too bad, while at my father it was always greasy or too tight because he kept on insisting I had black hair when It was closer to white but just slightly more course and curlier. I"m also not on to spend to much time on my hair and just want it in a ponytail up and out of the way.
My sister was adopted and is light skinned my mom being white and only ever dealt with white hair always struggled with my sisters hair witch in turn made my sister very self conscious about her hair . so it’s really not just about hair being treated properly it’s also about the kid that is wearing that hair and how much confidence they can get from felling “pretty”
true
Very true
It’s not really white hair as Latinos and Asians have it too. It’s more black hair
@@aspenpawarts9333 I know because it's not as textured as afro hair, people think indigenous american or 'asian' (I put it in parenthesis 'cause Asia is massive and diverse, but I think you're talking about China or Japan) hair is akin to white people's hair, but it's not. Indigenous American hair is THICK and there's a lot of it. Typical Japanese hair is straight af and putting it in a braid or bun without a million extra hair pins so it doesn't come undone in an hour or by a gust of win is a massive waste of time. It's not like white hair at all. Every time I've ever gone to white hair stylist, they've always commented on how much hair I have; I've actually been charged extra :/ It IS much less labor intensive to care for in comparison to afro-hair.
DO NOT COMB FROM THE ROOTS
In the montage I saw someone try to do this and had war flashbacks
Facts
This goes for any hair type
Oh my GOD don't 😖😖
yep. i have straight 1C hair and the rule applies to everybody.
Wait why tho?
Lol, my mom's black and didn't care to learn any of this. She immediately just gave me a relaxer. I didn't know what actual hair looked like for the longest time.
She might have had bigger problems in life... sometimes we cant compare the time and resources these rich families adopting kids have... to a working class mom who doesnt have time to do her own hair... i might be wrong.. but it might be an explanation..
Same, i cant really blame them though. They were made to do the same with their hair and were never taught to appreciate nor care for their own. Im 15 and had to go out of my way when i was 12/13 to figure out what my hair even looked like let alone learning how to take care of it. But i dont blame my ma though, she had it instilled into her mind when she was young that it wasn't beautiful and that it had to look a certain way (Bone straight) in order for her to be remotely presentable. My hair is the longest and healthiest it's EVER BEEN im so glad i went natural.
awe thats sad!!! i hope you are ok and confident in your hair my guy!
Same,now that I'm old enough (16 in like 8 days) I got the big chop and am learning myself to do this so I can do better for my kids in the future as well as myself.
@@DCLsMusic Just FYI< rich people aren't adopting from foster care usually. It's free or very low cost. Private adoptions are the expensive ones
I like how the people aren’t rude or I guess racist towards the families, they are just simply helping them out with hair care.
Why would you assume they would be racist or rude??? 🤔
That's the thing black women most of the time are never racist or rude to others. Black women literally help everyone. But in the end people are still racist and stereotypical towards us, and help from others is never reciprocated.
Ebony L. That’s not entirely true
@@vOID-fh1qt a good portion of that is true. A black woman created a violence hotline for Asian Americans.
@@blahblahblah3722 I wouldn't assume people will be rude, but you see it a lot, especially on the internet (for many different reasons) so it's really nice to just see people being kind 😊
I'm Hispanic and my husband is White....
I have major infertility problems, both my husband and my mother were in foster care at some point in their childhood. I can't wait to adopt a sweet child or teenager that needs a loving home.
Thank you and God bless for giving us a resource to care for our future. 💕
Bella Capulet Aw that’s great that you are open to adopting a teen. They are so over looked in the system. I hope your husband and you the best. 💕💕💕💕
My parents adopted me due to infertility! I believe everything happens for a reason because I was meant to be with them ☺️
Wish you all the best in finding that sweet child/teenager. I am sure they will be super excited to have such a caring and beautiful mother!! ❤️
i’m a transracial adoptee(my parents are white and i’m african) this video makes me really happy because my parents never learned how to take care of my hair and it made my self confidence plummet as a child. i wish my parents had the same drive to learn as these moms and dads.
I had the same experience but I wasnt adopted. I grew up in Germany with my german mum and grandparents cause my dad left before I was born so I went through some hair horror because my parents just didnt know any better.
@@spencerlee7450 stop
Spencer Lee huh you sound dismissive and dumb for commenting that shut up
Radiodetective Wimerplant the exact same thing happened to me.😭 Same country, same story.😬
Ohne TH-cam hätte ich nie gelernt meine Haare zu machen und bin auch erst seit einem Jahr natural.😅
Spencer Lee did you jus- 💀
What a beautiful bonding experience and opportunity to talk to your kids.
This is so wholesome. I'm mixed, half Korean & my mom's hair texture is the complete opposite of mine, so it was 50/50 hit & miss when it came to her styling my hair. I used to get my hair straightened a lot, but now I'm totally natural. It's actually still a huge challenge for my own self on how to style my OWN hair. These kiddos & their parents are super cute & I wish them all the best!
U know korean fluently?
Yes!
It's wholesome
The fact that the parents are willing to learn...speaks volumes. That learning mindset needs to stay in place to counter any negativity they my encounter from people, regardless of race...because it’s coming.
the comments are so wholesome until you look into the reply thread
Yea 😔
I’m mexican and my husband is black, we are going to have our first child soon and I get overwhelmed just thinking about having to deal with so much fluffy hair, I’m going to have to take classes.
The term is kinky or curly, if you're referring to Black hair. That would be the first step. To call it what it is and not an adjective you came up with cause it's cute. RESPECT Black hair. We didn't even get into the fact that you said you had to "DEAL WITH" it...
TheRightJustNess I have seen black women call black hair fluffy sometimes, becouse fluffy is a word associated with cute things like bunnies or kittens and black hair can definitely be cute. Especially when it's those super cute puffs on little girls.
@@beautifullyhandsom I am a black girl with 4c hair from Trinidad and I call my hair fluffy. Their is nothing disrespectful about it if the intention was in the right place. No need to attack and say "RESPECT THE BLACK HAIR" because from what I gathered she didn't mean it in a disrespectful way. Y'all be out here quick to call out someone for being disrespectful when you're the one being plain ass rude!
If a BLACK person wants to call THEIR OWN HAIR Fluffy, that is their business. If you're not BLACK stay in your lane. That's the point, which is seems you captain save-ems are MISSING. You bout to get somebody told off, if you're Black and you like people who aren't Black speaking about your hair any kind of way, save that for YOU.
@Kiki M. If it was "just hair" do you think this TH-cam video would exist. The whole premise is that it is NOT just hair for Black People, it is a sense of identity and culture. Now if you lack comprehension, that has nothing to do with me
I know my mom would be interested in this. My siblings and I aren't adopted, but we are biracial. My mom has straight hair, but my sisters and I have type 3 curly hair that dries and knots easily.
the curly girl method is helpful. there are so many good youtubers out there who give tutorials and tips with all curly hair types. try researching the curly girl method. the results are amazing.
silverwolf12 instead of using a towel to dry your hair try using a cotton t shirt and use a wide comb to brush your hair!
Look up manes by mell, I love her videos.
I'm white and I have your curl type (3B/3C). My hair always looked awful growing up bc my mom (3A) didn't even know how to do her own hair but I've embraced mine now and I will tell you that *moisture* is the key for me! Being hydrated and not using shampoo more than once every 2 weeks is really helpful. And when you do shampoo use a Curly Girl method approved one but NOT DevaCurl. My hair has never knotted easily but the dryness you talk about I have big time lol.
SAMEE my sister and i have type 3 hair too and NOBODY in my family have curly hair at all. It was a nightmare when we were kids.
It is these “little” things that actually make the biggest impacts in the life of these kids :)
Right cause it def ain't little
blahblahblah it’s not tho....
It takes a lot as a parent to admit that you can't or don't know how to do something for your child. I'm glad that there are parents like these who seek the help to make their kids lives better and more exciting.
I'm 100% white as hell. That being said, my mother had stick straight hair and I had curly/wavy hair. I was told to take care of it like she took care of hers. We would get in fights where she would insist I didn't brush my hair when I had JUST brushed it and if course it now looked a frizzy mess. I don't have any pictures of my hair looking even slightly decent until I was much older. I know this is much different, but I feel for these kids and I'm glad their parents are taking the time to learn how to care for their children's hair. My husband has stick straight hair but so far both of my kids have my hair texture and I'm ensuring it's taken care of, properly. ❤️
I totally understand, it was the same for me. My mother never knew how to take care of my hair and treated it as if it was straight hair so it ended looking like shit. I took me years to get my curly hair back and I only discovered how to take care of them when I was 23...
Same here. I'm the only curly girl.
Same, my mom never taught me anything having to do with hygiene and looks other than brushing my teeth. I literally remember being at friend's house on the way to school who wasn't ready and his mom asked him "did you wash your face yet?" and I remember thinking wow that makes a lot of sense. I was in like 6th grade. She never talked with me about skin care, never talked period, not even deodorant I just got one for myself, went bra shopping with a friend.. all that stuff and I know I'm not alone and this is nothing like in the story but wow I really wanna learn how to braid just to have this girl time with my daughters one day
2:07 The girl doing her sibling's hair was so precious 😍
This is so cute. It's something you never think about but it's good to see people working together for what's best for these beautiful kids.
Hey, how weird to see you in a video like this but I agree.
This reminds me of the oscar award winning short animated movie of this year. Hair love
I love that short film
YES!! My husband and I are preparing to adopt black children and we need all the help we can get to do right by our kiddos 💜💜💜
My gosh! How ignorance I was for not acknowledging how hair is an identity. This video trully open my eyes
My parents had no idea how to deal with my curls and I hated my hair for all of my childhood. It affected my self esteem so much.
This is so important that parents are learning these skills to help their kids feel confident in their own skin (and hair). Cheering these parents on!
As an adult I have learned how to take care of my hair and it had made a world of difference!
I hated my hair too growing up. My mom would end up just chopping my hair off as well. I think a lot of parents assume there's no need to learn to care for their children's hair (biological ones that is) because they assume they can do the same routine for them like they use themselves.
i felt this
Seee...this is why it's an issue. I'm sorry to hear that
imagining arguing in the comments that white people cant adopt black children because the white parents might not know a lot about the black community. that's the whole point! getting involved in the hair, making sure your child loves who they are and not stripping them away from their culture. any parent with a child know its learning along the way. you're not going to know every single thing about black culture. hell, I'm black and my mom doesnt know how to do jack squat with my natural hair because shes been perming and straightening it her for a long ass time so when I started to become natural, I had to learn the shit on my own. white parent who adopt black kids, all I'm saying is that you try. try to do their hair, try to reach out and find help, understand that your child is going to feel out of place at times but it's your job as a parent, white, black anything to make sure your child feels love.
in transracial adoption, learning about the difference is important but everything you need to learn should come from wanting to be a loving parent. not because you absolutely have to just because your child is black. learn to take care of your child because they are your child, not just because they're black. there shouldn't be one or the other.
I know a family who adopted three Haitian children. The parents both passed away in the earthquake that happened in Haiti and parents who adopted were friends of theirs. I got to see their life transform. I love it! They learned hair care, the culture and everything. It inspired my parents to look to foster and possibly adopt! ❤️❤️❤️
As a gay man, I always knew that adoption would likely be a part of my future. As I’ve gotten older, now 22, I’ve realized that I personally would not ever consider bringing another child into this world when there are SO many beautiful children already born who need loving homes.
I just did a bit of looking into data on adoption in the US, and as I expected, Black children are the least likely to be adopted 💔💔 I also learned that it costs significantly less to adopt a Black child than a child of a different racial identity, especially White kids. Kids have price tags being put on them based on their racial category before they are even born 😢
Apparently the majority of adoptive parents are still White, well educated, and relatively affluent. I am White, soon to be a first-generation college graduate, and may be headed for a decently-paid future (although I come from a working class, rural family). I only mention these parts of who I am because I recognize and worry about the realities a future adoptive child of color would face in our world.
One news article that came up shared the story of a transracial family from my current city, Minneapolis, who has experienced people in public making comments / asking questions about their children being a different race. And I also worry that my child might experience a lot of identity and emotional distress if they are growing up in a home where their parents don’t look like them. But all I could do is my best to love them, listen to them, and seek advice from members of the Black community about what would be best for my kids.
I hope that someday I will be able to marry a kind man and adopt a child or two in need of a loving, supportive family. If Black children are the least likely to be adopted, then I’m more than willingly to give them a home 💜
This video was so touching and I am so grateful for these women working their butts off to help kids feel more comfortable and confident about their natural beauty.
I didnt even know about the price tag on a child.. this just makes me sad. Thank you and I hope you find a soul mate to share your dreams with :)
@Elizabeth O'Ham So glad you mentioned that same sex couples are good parents because same sex couples are both WANT kids. No "oops i got pregnant and now we are screwed" situation going on.
Sidney Boo - Thank you so much ☺️ take good care 💜
u seem like such a nice person, god bless u
I teared up reading your comment. So lovely. I wish you the best in your relationships. Like you, I’ve thought about adopting children later on, years from now. I’d also like to be someone’s husband one day, but that part doesn’t seem possible for me.
The problem is too many white people try to live in the “we don’t see color” world. That just doesn’t exist. Your black child’s hair is not the same as yours or your white children. You may not see them or treat them differently but they’re still black and as their parent it’s your job to embrace that and learn what you need to in order to raise a healthy black child. I’m so proud of these parents who seek out help and I’m so glad there are people who are willing to help without judgement.
Could not agree more! 👍
i'm white. it annoys me when people say "i don't see color" bc 1. most the time it's prejudiced people saying it, and 2. why act like we're all the same? It feels to me like "at the end of the day we're all white" type of shit (maybe i'm just taking it the wrong way) and it's just annoying bc you should be proud of who you are. be proud that you're "different". we all have different skin tones, hair textures, experiences, backgrounds, and that's something to be proud of because that's what makes you *you*. it really doesn't make much sense through text, and i definitely need to expand my vocabulary for hard to explain situations like these, but y'all feel free to correct me if i made a mistake.
I just wish that all of the adoptive parents (white, black, Asian, mixed) could form a private community where all of the kids are raised together and the parents could teach each other about these sorts of things, hands on in a co-op fashion. At least then the kids could grow up with normal, sane kids of all different races and not be poisoned by all of the bitter, bigoted white AND black people who always show up in this type of comment section and in the world in general.
Group836 I agree so much people should see color and still accept everyone
When they say " we dont see color" they mean COLOR, not hair.
These kids are going to be so grateful when they get older. There's nothing negative about this video. So lovely
Awesome job to the mom at 2:30 cuz I'm black and my daughter is 14 and I still can't flat twist 😭😭
That crown braid is so pretty on the little angel, wish i could do it in my own hair but it's actually a really hard skill to pick up so these parents' initiative and involvement is commendable !
I lover her saying "...the kids that I serve". It is such a warm expression. You ladies are doing a great job!!!
As a transracial, transnational adoptee, thank you for what you do!
I worked at a summer camp every summer and there was this one little girl who wasn’t in my class but was across the hall from my mine so I always saw her and we had activities together because the groups were similar ages. I will never forgot how messy and tangled her hair was and how she knew it was. I just felt so bad because her mom put her hair in 4 puff balls everyday and her hair was breaking off and dry! She would also itch it in pain sometimes. I loved that little girl so much and wanted to help the mom but the mom was extremely intimidated that I was black. It effects their self image so much because the days that her hair was redone and brushed her personality was different and more joyful. So please please please. If you plan on adopting yay!! Thank you but you are hurting the child if you ignore their hair and culture.
This is definitely one of the videos that make me smile throughout the entire thing.
initially read the title and went like “what...?”, but im glad i clicked on this video and learnt that this isn’t just about their hair.
Wow. So proud to have you in our community.
i wish this video was here 14 years ago, my parents left my hair very unhealthy and dry. luckily, I have used youtube to learn how to care for my hair. Thank you for doing this, it really means a lot!
i remember when i was about 6-10 years old i was best friends with these kids from church and they were mixed. their mother was white but she did everything she could to take care of their hair and make it look as good as possible. she used to teach me how to do their hair too because i’m not black and i don’t have their hair type. this family really inspired me and made me realize how amazing black hair culture is and the history behind it.
I wish this was around for my family when I was adopted. I was taken in at birth and every man women and child no matter the race was against the fact that a white family took me in. My dad was in fights with people in our country and even to today at 23 years of age people assume negatives about my family because of the colour of their skin. What astounds me even today is the biggest outcry comes from the black African community in my country( I'm in South Africa so to us no matter your race you are considered African if you are born on this land). At age 18 I had a fellow students mother (black woman) physically try to force me in her car yo take me to the police because in her eyes I've been brainwashed and kidnapped. But, thank the good Lord, people are becoming more lenient to the newer generation of adoptive families. Seeing this warms my heart and I hope it continues to become something to celebrate instead of shun and shame
Gabriela Rissel yup- sadly a lot of people don’t realize double standards are a thing. A lot of people just go “wHiTe = bAd” when racism is a 2 way street. Racists are horrible people, but a lot of people just think anyone being racist to a white person is doing nothing wrong.
Wow that is horrific, I’m so sorry you had to go through that. Hopefully the world will become more accepting of families of all different colors
@@aspenpawarts9333 100% agree. Here in South Africa, you are racist no matter your race. There is a politician that is known nation wide for being racist to white people. He spreads hate and actually incites violence against the white people
How can there be 169 thumbs downs? If a child has a loving home that cares about how to properly care for a child’s needs how can it be something you don’t like?
I absolutely love this! It’s very upsetting to see little kids who are adopted into families that don’t seek help with stuff like this. What an amazing cause.
This makes me so hopeful for the future. As an lgbt person Ive always known I will adopt one day and have always known id need education like this. God bless this woman
I’m so glad she has the hair shop. I as an adopted child it’s hard to connect to my culture. I hope there are more people like her to help adopted children to learn there culture.
I am glad this woman saw this need and helped educate. So many people just criticize parents instead of helping. Bless you! ❤
I'm so shook with the amount of care natural hair needs.... I mean I always knew it was hard but recently I have gotten to know it's a whole process that takes like a lot of time.... I used to think it was just like okay you need to put in some conditioner the chill for a bit tgen straighten it then chill for a bit but it is like a 6 hour upper body workout and so demanding... I will never be able to do it and I stan black women for being able to take care of their hair so well, it's a whole prescience.
My own hair is the most easiest kind yo work with, its wavy straight, and I wash it once a week and still feel like I wanna cut it all off but damn now I'm just like counting my blessings and just educating myself on the various types of hair and care and stuff..
yesss she’s amazing. she’s been doing my hair since I was 6 (now 13) I’m biracial and it was very hard before she came along SHES A GOD SEND👏👏👏
The effort these parents put into doing their child's hair nicely helps the children love themselves for who they are and also acts as a whole new experience for the parents. It is really a lovely thing.
This warms my heart. Especially with everything that is going on with the world these days and the hatred. We need to promote positivity and love louder than the hatred and ignorance in this world.
When Emily dropped that bin of haircare I felt so seen.
I agree with you. Man she must have so much love in her to have adopted all those kids and made the effort to learn about them - what they needed. What a beautiful person.
I have always said this and will continue to say this, if you are going to raise a child outside of your race, YOU NEED TO LEARN ABOUT THEIR HAIR AND CULTURE! Proud of these parents!!!
Well done to Julia's mum.
The hair looked great.
This made me cry! These children are so beautiful and I appreciate their adoptive parents for actually learning how to maintain their hair, so the better children are prepared to manage their hair later on in life. So many adopted black children never learn how to manage their hair if they aren't taught early on, so this is absolutely amazing. 🥺❤
Just wanna say...
every single one of the kids in this video LOOKED ADORABLE OMG!
I was not adopted and I still do not know how to care for my natural hair.
Use google, lol.
Mai A bruh same!
Truth! Lol
You could probably look up this organizations website and see if they have tips for you. Or email them, why not?
Same. I'm so done with my hair.
Oh Tamika! What a wonderful gift you are giving to so very many people! Thank you for being so kind.
i can’t with these kids they are to adorable like i just wanna hug all of them and squeeze them 🥰🥺🥺🥺
Thank you. I loved this story and the amazing work you are doing.
Reminds me of a time when I was a volunteer reader in a public school 1st grade class. After I was finished with the book a little white girl, whose eyes had intently been on me the whole time, leaned towards me with a question on her face. Her eyes travelled down the length of my locks. She wanted to feel them.
I said, "Sure, honey, you can touch them.. You go right ahead."
Her face was aglow as she smiled and ran her hands down a few of my locks' ends.
Then, she let out a big, "Wow!" She appeared joyously satisfied, as if she'd been sitting there during my entire reading, just hoping for that moment.
I appreciated the little girl's healthy curiosity. Because she was asking, seeking to learn, about a part of my culture. I was happy to oblige her young and open mind.
I’m so glad people are teaching this. Builds so much confidence for the kids and represents their culture. I love it 🥺
Thank you so much!! As a curly hair girl I know the struggle of getting teased for having hair that looks different from others. But as time went on, I found TH-camrs just as yourself who helped me take care and treat my hair in a proper manner! 🤗💖💖💖
My family is a foster family and we had to learn how to care for textured hair all on our own so I’m thrilled that others don’t have to be alone in their journey and they have educated people to help them along the way it truly warms my heart 🥺❤️☺️💗
I am crying. Missing my childhood bf.... she was mixed and oooooooh boy I was taught at an early age that you do NOT touch all those amazing barrettes and baubles. Missing the little girls in my old neighborhood who cornered me one day and worked a magic starbust of cornrows into my fine blond hair. Tamika, you must be the most patient person on the planet to deal with white ladies all day, for these little girls to get their pride in order.
The love in these parents' eyes as they're learning so is beautiful! They look so excited to be able to take care of their children's hair properly
I always did my sister's hair ever since she was a baby, I do it for her now as well because she's a spoilt brat and my heart warmed seeing adoptive siblings learn in those classes as well.
I have to admit I wasn't really aware of how different hair could be for a POC. You learn something new everyday.
I'm an transracially adoptive parent. My twins came home when they were 3. Now 16. We live in a rural area and I had no help learning hair!! This would have been so helpful for my family!
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
I want to adopt someday and I'm reserved about adopting an African american child because I dont know how to care for their hair! But now I see there are resources! THANK YOU
THIS IS SO IMPORTANTTTTT
I was adopted and my parents never really understood how to care for my hair and I had to learn myself as I got older. They tired, but they realllly needed a class like this. THANK YOU SO MUCH
I come from a biological black+white family. My dad was a single father for a while and had to learn how to do black hair, I'm really proud of any family who really goes through the effort to do this. It's also important to know not all mixed kids can use relaxers depending on their hairtype etc.
These children have BEAUTIFUL hair! Nothing but love.
Thats always been my biggest saying "its more than hair" and ill stick with it .
this is quite wholesome. :)
This is such an important service for adoptive parents. Amazing work Tameka!!!!
1:46 such a sweet family.
This is the sweetest thing I’ve ever seen🥺 the littlest things like hair can make such a difference for a little kids self esteem. Brilliant idea Tamekia!!!
I NEED MORE WHOLESOME VIDEOS LIKE THIS!
It’s the only good thing in 2020...
I'm really happy these women not even the biological parents were willing to put the effort in to learn. I have a biological white mom but still my hair wasnt cared for properly. My mother never really made an attempt and just decided to flat iron, relax and cut my hair because it was easier for her to manage. I'm 20 now and i love my hair currently, I do wish my hair was they way it was before the damage but growing up I hated my natural hair, it was so frustrating that my mom didnt know how to do it and neither did I since no one taught me and she eventually stopped doing the relaxers and straightening at home and would take me to a white hairdresser. By the time I got to middle school and wanted my coil curls back they were damaged and so was my sense of identity as a black women. It took years of youtube black hair treatments, oils and research to learn about my own hair and what I needed to do to it. My hair has grown and become healthier over the last few years and it is curlier, closer to what I had before the damage but I think my hair Is permanently changed. While my mother just sees it as a lack of knowledge and effort and no big deal, for me it shaped how I viewed myself growing up. She and lots other white people like her dont understand the importance of hair to black people. im going to be spending the next few years healing from childhood experiences, finding my indentiy, finding love for my self and my hair. Please if you thinking about adopting a child who is of a different race or your the white parent in a interracial relationship you need to be willing to invest the time and educate yourself so that you can be there for your kids and can still connect with and comfort them even though y'all are diffrent. Talk about race, consent, the world, etc. and build that open dialogue with your children. In the household i grew up they were harcore Christians and we didnt have family discussions or talk about our feelings, there was just lots of pain and fighting. Sidenote though for the ignorant white parents, dont go putting box braids in your hair saying your embracing the culture, wearing our hairstyles is offensive maybe not to all but most black folks I know. Just be open, ask questions, get educated in the culture but do NOT appropriate it or that will be another battle you and your children will face when they grown and realize your offensive behavior.
Why the hell, anyone adopted you?
Just be thankful that you got an education and a home, or else you would have been wondering around homeless and soon would have been a gang member
im an asian adoptee, but this is a really amazing thing that adoptive parents actually want to be culturally and racially aware! growing up, my white mom would just chop off my hair to shoulder length because its very coarse, thick, and grew 10 inches every 6 months and she didnt know how to style it since its so stubbornly straight. her hair in comparison is the thin, wispy blonde that never grew past her shoulders. she was actually pretty abusive about cutting my hair and keeping it short. i never felt like i had control over my own hair and as a result, i hardly took care of it and let it get tangled into visible knots. to this day i still struggle to care for it, although watching tutorials online has helped me a lot. i know its a very different experience compared to black adoptees though. im just glad that there actually white parents out there that care.
I’m sorry that your experience with hair wasn’t great before I’m really proud of you for taking the steps to becoming responsible of it!! I wish you the best of luck and I hope you keep working on it. Your experiences with being adopted are really valuable with this community so pls continue to share your story!
It's not abusive to cut hair you dont know how to take care of, jeez. Lol
ChuChild. It’s oppressive when you don’t let your child have free will over their body. Especially when it comes to grooming their hair in a way they like.
@@ChuChild I think you misunderstood. I never learned how to take care of it properly, because she never taught me how. Her way of "teaching" was just to force me to the hairdresser and ask them to chop everything off. As transracial adoptees, our bodies often feel "foreign" to us not just because of racial differences but genetic ones as well. This plays into a feeling that we don't "know" our bodies and thus, lack control over them. I now have learned from Korean girls online that when girls are younger, they are forced to have short hair because of school dress codes. so really, in a way, they went through the same thing. Except, once they're out of school, they can style it however they want. And for most Korean women, they style their hair a lot, go to the hairdresser often, so that their coarse straight hair does not tangle and stays manageable. for me, I was controlled only with the excuse that I couldn't take care of it. but she did not even try to teach me how. She did not allow me control over how it looked or how long it could be. Everytime I go to the hairdresser with her, she always asks them to cut it all off. Even now, as a 23 year old. When I went to Korea, the hair stylists knew exactly what to do with it. And none of it involved chopping everything off. Sometimes, she would force me to donate it. And while that's not a bad thing at all, its the "force" part that I have a problem with. I like to think of it like my depression. When I'm depressed, I feel like I have lost control of my life. I feel helpless and thus, feel like I can't do anything without the help of others. like taking care of myself. Its not as much about the taking care of myself part as it is about the feeling of lost control. People might know that they should take care of themselves and that they can empower themselves to do it, but without control, they fall into helplessness. Like I said before though, I have been trying to learn how to better take care of it. I am trying to empower myself, but its still hard. because I still feel like the control is not there. Meaning, while I am empowered by knowledge, I still feel helpless over my ability to use that knowledge. geez this is a long ass reply
You lost me at “racially aware” like just shut the hell up and enjoy the video 😂 not everything Is that deep
Where i grew up we had a house in the neighborhood who would do this back in like 2007. Happy to see it's growing and helping so many family. Blessed all 😍
This almost made me cry. What a beautiful way to help families 💕
What a terrific idea! This non-profit organization definitely needs to expand to other cities. I love it. Bless Tamekia for seeing the need for this and coming up with it.
People love to hate, even like beautiful stories like this. Shame on you smh
Let’s just appreciate how still the toddler is
I wish you were closer so I could learn how to properly care for my 8 year old grand baby. I think it is important to teach them to embrace their hair because it's part of their heritage and I want to learn because I love her.
I can give u some stuff that i use for my hair if you would like
List for shampoos,conditioners & other products that go in hair⬇️
Maui moisture
Shea moisture
coconut curls
mielleorganics
asiamnaturally
alikaynaturals
Jamaican castor oil (put on scalp once a week so hair can grow)
boucleme
discovertreluex
breahni
bounce curl
(U obviously dont have to buy all of these products at once or at all but i would suggest getting 3 of these brands to start off with & then go from there)
heres a brush i got recently and i love it (its a har brush and its less painful than normal brushes)
www.shopponyfly.com/products/flexible-bristles-detangling-brush-for-natural-hair
also i would suggest brushing there hair in the shower because its alot easier to brush
U can also go on amazon and type in “demon brush” I use that brush after i get out the shower And i comb my hair and it makes my hair seem curlier, Also when i get out of the shower i dont dry my hair off i take a diffuser and diffuse it till try (u can look up on youtube how to defuse hair)
i hope that helps😅
@@Gisella16 thank you for your advise and I am definitely going to try 🤗
@@Gisella16 will do, thank you
I love to see moms and dads caring for their children's hair. As a parent you will learn so many new things and you are lucky when you have skilled people to show you how to take care of your kids.