1965. Effect of emotional deprivation and neglect on babies. Subtitled in English
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 27 พ.ย. 2020
- See also: Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents amzn.to/3jyHHAV #ad
The narration of this film references antiquated Freudian psychoanalytic theory, refrigerator mother theory and other anachronisms, and should be taken in a historical context.
Catalogue description: This film studies the effect of emotional deprivation on the sensory-motor behaviour of infants aged 7 to 18 months, some of which came from normal families, and others raised in institutional settings for social reasons. The simple experimental conditions remain the same. We present blocks to the child, and record the reaction to this object of stimulus.
If you would like to submit a translation you can do so here: amara.org/en/videos/y8aCJfBrA...
"anorexic" is a medical term for a symptom, the loss of appetite and interest in food. It is not the same as "anorexia nervosa" which is a psychiatric disorder. In popular/lay use, people often say anorexia when what they are actually referring to is anorexia nervosa, which is where the apparent confusion comes from.
I had anorexia at the age of 3 and still suffer to this day. Early childhood trauma is a big deal. (I’m 27)
It could have possibly been lost in translation, many things are not always translated properly
@@victoriancrow I’m so sorry. You are strong
It is a french word "anorexique", I believe it's the term for someone suffering from anorexia nervosa
So that's why I lost my appetite....
Proof that having a “calm child”not necessarily means a healthy one as child psychologists say, I worry when a child is too calm.
I like my kids. They listen to me. I feel like the older they get the more I think they are wonderful. I hope my kids turn out ok. I pray about that often.
I was insanely calm and level headed for my age, and not a single adult stopped to consider that may not 100% be a good thing because they were too busy praising me for good behavior
Children are supposed to misbehave, that's the point of childhoold- to make mistakes and learn from them. If a child is scared of making mistakes- not even repeating wrong behavior but accidentally doing or saying the wrong thing, then thats a real problem. You're not teaching them anything, ur just forcing them into submission
Not a good correlation at all
i got too calm my father and mother said, i was so much "into my own world"
Every child deserves a parent. Not every parent deserves a child.
(Not) every parent ?
Every child deserves two parents: a mother and a father.
@@_lithp There are couples who are mother and mother or father and father and they can still raise a baby just as normal. Its not about their title its about the emotional support they give the child.
@@_lithp "the truth"
Good point
As a child my interactions with adults only occurred when they had to scold me, yell at me and make fun of me. Yes, as a child I had adults, my parents and even some teachers, who found it funny to mock me for some of my fears and pronunciation defects, in front of everyone, until they made me cry. At 8 years old my main feelings towards parental figures, teachers and so-called "educators" were hatred and contempt. Today I am a 40 year old considered by everyone to be very polite and intelligent, but also cold, cynical and strange. I have never had deep or long-lasting relationships and I am wary of every kind gesture. People disgust me. I am a human being (?) ruined by evil imbeciles. Having children should not be everyone's right and teaching should not be considered just any job, suitable for anyone with a degree which, perhaps, has taught them some more knowledge.
I’m so sorry. I hope you healing completely in JESUS precious name. Choose to forgive and forget. GOD will help you be whole again. I’m sorry. I love you but JESUS loves you more!!! 🌹
Мне очень жаль, что у Вас такой опыт.
У меня совсем другая история, я жила в прекрасной семье, вокруг меня было много хороших людей, но и достаточно злых. Я никогда не позволяла меня никому обижать, хотя многие пытались и даже делали это прикрываясь любовью, заботой, а сами просто утопили меня в токсичности. Сейчас у меня очень маленькое окружение, и я не разочаровалась в людях. Изначально, встречая человека, я буду думать о нем хорошо, хоть и так же как вы не буду ему доверять. Глобально, я тоже никому не доверяю, п. ч. мы разные все люди, и мы даже сами себе не можем доверять, потому что под действиями разных чувств и эмоций можем поступать по-разному в одной и той же ситуации. Вам 40,не держите это в себе, забудьте, вы уже давно ушли вперёд, у вас своя жизнь, наполняйте ее радостью❤
I kind of understand you. My childhood was a bit different, but also filled with neglect, emotional abuse and sometimes sort of life treats from an idiotic mother, who had some sort of temper tantrums and outbursts of rage. I too grew up very smart and very disciplined. But no amount of therapy can help with certain issues. I'm filled with cold quiet rage most of the time, like literally hating/despising everyone and everything for no reason. Suffered from depression for many years, my whole youth was destroyed by depression. Can't really have any emotional connection with anyone, while being able to fake it easily. I easily fake a cheerful happy warm presence, cause it's kind of useful in life and also cause I'm kind of scared that I'll be completely alone, rejected and may be bullied if I stop faking normality, but in reality I feel only two types of emotions : pain+emptiness+despair, or rage which can't be transformed, or used, or expressed or whatever. I had tremendohs amounts of therapy with some of the best psychotherapists in the country, but not many things changed. Or ok, many small things might have changed but the central issues are the same and aren't affected in the least. Now it's even worse since I got more mature, more down to Earth and lost my youthful naivity which somehow was allowing me to believe that sometimes miracles can happen and that some day I'll have a life of a normal person.
Yo te entiendo. He sufrido burlas, menosprecios y maltratos cuando fui niña. Me han dejado de lado... pero sabes que? Yo decidí sanar. Por favor, no te rindas. Hay esperanzas aún, confía en el poder de la oración, eleva plegarias con fe para sanar esas heridas. Ten fe. Sólo Dios conoce tu dolor y puede sanarte, cree y verás el resultado.
DIOS TE BENDIGA HERMOSA.
DIOS ES EL UNICO QUE NOS ENSEÑA A AMAR Y PERSONAR DE VERDAD.
EL NOS AMA CON AMOR ETERNO, ES SATANAS QUE VINO A ROBAR MATAR Y DESTRUIR ♥
CON JESÚS Todo cambia.
Abrazos querida.
Слёзы наворачиваются за этих детей, так больно. Бедняжки.
Однажды наблюдала на детской площадке маму, угрожавшей дочери 3-х лет из-за какой-то мелочи (уже не помню что, но помню, что нескщественная вещь), что она оставит её, быстрым шагом отходила от неё. Дочка за ней по пятам, извиняется, умоляет, старается угодить как может.
Родители не понимают, какие серьёзные раны оставляют в сердцах детей, которые никогда не слышат ничего хорошего от них.
То что бедняжки, это да, но, наверное, это не настолько плохо. Ко мне вот хорошо относятся, лучше, чем надо, а я всё равно веду себя фиг знает как. Относились бы хуже, может, я бы поадекватнее была. Лучше уж быть тревожным человеком, чем придурком каким-то. Да и не запомнят эти дети точно, как они вели себя в год
@@jekylljekyllhyde821Пример непонимания проблемы.
Судя по ходу твоей логики готов предположить, что твой возраст до "адекватного поведения" ещё не дошёл. Зато уже делаешь далеко идующие выводы (что не есмь хорошо, исходя из самих выводов).
Вот скажи, а ты готова всю жизнь страдать от различных комплексов, нервозов и (возможно) психических заболеваний похуже (пересмотри видос с субтитрами, хоть и он и старый, но не устарелый), но зато "вести себя не фиг знает как"? Ты понимаешь в чём суть этого видео? Понимаешь про что пишут другие комментаторы (комментарий про работу няней в период пандемии это вообще ярчайший пример)? Был своё время один эксперимент на обезьянках: какими вырастут малыши, если заменить настоящую мать на куклу. Результаты оказались настолько страшными, что "учёного" практически отменили и выставили извергом (и не сказать, что не заслуженно). Советую поискать и почитать. Ты ЭТОГО хочешь?
Я уж промолчу по поводу "но, наверное, это не настолько плохо", ибо это уже вытекающее из непонимания.
@@AR-iris спасибо! Благодаря Вам, я узнал про эксперимент "Природа любви"
@@jekylljekyllhyde821You are sick bro
Привет, друг. Мы живём в матрице, устроенной на жестокость и страдания. Нас уничтожают из космоса. Ты ни в чем не виноват. Набери "уфолог Бова"
Nothing sadder than a depressed baby
My niece used to go see a therapist. She would take her baby with her
The Dr. Noticed how different he looked compared to most kids she would see. My niece's son looked so happy and totally confident and playing. And how he had complete confidence in his mother. Not what she would see with other children.
Very sad. Little babies need to be loved and cuddled not mistreated
So true. I try to remember to pray for abused or neglected kids.
Seriously :(
I started cutting myself when I was 10
The traumatized babies were to busy watching the adults in the room in fear of their reactions to them touching a block than actually playing, it's heart breaking.
@cheeririnaldo435 I am SO sorry you had to go through that. You are not alone and you are a survivor. Those horrible things that happened probably made you more aware of human behavior and hopefully served you well in your adult life.
Nailed it. The narrator is totally off in describing their behavior. The child looks around like, where’s the next assault going to come from. Whether verbal or physical.
@@mstina7346 They were neglected not beaten, neglected children look for reassurance. They explain that in the film.
I was like those children all the way up to 32 and then I decided I’m gonna turn my life around. Here’s what I did in short, read books about childhood trauma, identified what and where my triggers were and faced them head on. I spoke to my parents about what they did, set boundaries, fixed my relationship with my partner whose my wife now. What was done to me was their faulty but what I do to myself is my fault. I changed how I treat myself. I’m not a success story, because life is a continuous journey and if you put your guard down the memories, trauma and triggers will know where to find you. It’s an on going battle but you can fight back.
@@mstina7346 this is me now, being 40
As someone who grew up in a dysfunctional family dynamic and have seen violence since i was born, it's feels so personal and sad at the same time. I grew up being way too anxious, sensitive, aware of my childhood days. I still remember, how i was acting and feeling the way i was feeling, during the age 3 or 2. I still remember my first day of school (the feelings i felt), i still remember my mum carrying me at her back and running away from home ( i was only 3 yr old). People would tell me I'm mature for my age but i honestly condemn it. I never got to fully live my childhood as a child and it started haunting at an adulthood phase to reconnect and heal. At the age of 13 i started behaving like an 17 year old. I feel okay and grateful that I'm wise enough due to all the experience but not living your childhood like a child isn't healthy and worth it
Allah
her zorluğun yanında muhakkak bir kolaylık verir...Kuranda bunu söyler
..
I can relate, although I wasn't in a physically abusive household (although it sometimes went there...). One of my kin became more affected than I, leading me to be rushed into emotional maturity and them in responsibilities. We can't really take back what happened to us, but move forward with it. It would have been nice to live a healthier childhood, but I think the things I missed out on I can still experience. Hopefully, with a future spouse and children of my own. Best of luck and love. ❤
hey are you okay?
I'm 24 and I have a husband and a family of my own. He says I say sorry alot and worry that I did something wrong and ask for forgiveness. He tells me I don't need to say sorry and it's ok to make mistakes. I been through so much in my childhood its hard for me to me to be myself and I act the way others would like me.
Jesus took all your pain away in the cross. All you have to do is believe in him open your heart to him accept him as your Savior.
Я надеюсь на то, что каждый из этих прекрасных деток выросли и живут благополучно в радости и спокойствии
если это 65 год, то этим прекрасным деткам сейчас 60 лет +- возможно многих уже нет в живых
@@-xl6pgочень жаль, что нельзя узнать их судьбу, как повлияло на детей их детство.
@@inna3453 да, действительно было бы любопытно, научно уже установили как влияет отсутствие родителей на поведение, однако я точно знаю: невзирая на разные факторы благоприятные или нет человек способен своей волей выбирать любую судьбу. Есть от бога у нас эта свобода выбора.
In Russia baby attacks are common
@@nnaheim. Чего😮?!
А не французские ли это дети?! 🤬
People think if a child is abused at such a young age it won’t affect them because they “won’t remember”. They may not remember exact circumstances when they’re older, but the abuse literally changes the way their brain works and develops and this is proof of that. This is very sad
This speaks volumes
Agreed. There's a great book on trauma called The Body Remembers that addresses this.
My body remembers and I do most of it
amen! abuse literally changes everything about you, even how you process information. Whenever I hear people say "This is why we need to start beating our children again," I become so enraged. There is a reason why we don't do it anymore. Its not worth the damage.
👏👏👏
honestly that sad thing is that people even parents will call these quiet babies, good babies because they aren’t disruptive.
Exactly
yeah its awful
Yes, agreed. I remember multiple times other, older women would ask me if my baby is a "good baby. "
I knew what she was trying to convey in her "question."
I would answer, "Yes, my baby is a good baby. All of my baby's are good." Do you mean to ask me, does my baby sleep through the night?
No, my baby does not sleep through the night. This does not make a baby a bad baby. There are no bad babies. They are all innocent. "
They would get sheepish and realize the nastiness and incorrect correleations they had made.
🙄
Maybe because some are quite babies.....lol....while others are really loud.....
Noo. Some kids are just terrible and scream 24/7.
My mother takes care of me, we live in prosperity, but we have never had emotional intimacy. Tears and complaints for her are a sign of weakness, I have always been scolded for negative emotions, so to this day I hold back crying, I became very constrained and afraid to show at least some emotions other than joy. I feel a huge emptiness inside, I did not have enough affection and love from my mother, I see a parental figure in adult women and get attached to them. It seems to me that if adults had been more patient and affectionate with me as a child, it would be easier for me now. Please love your children, they need it.
Понимаю тебя
I’m very sorry to hear. Derek Prince, a preacher, also went through a similar experience. I recommend searching him up and viewing any video that you like that’s relatable. Jesus be with you in all ❤
I feel you, I was on the verge of taking my own life at 24 until I found my psychologist. Talking to her consistently, once a week, for the last few years saved and completely changed my life. I owe her being here today. I wasn't a total failure, I just needed someone that cared about me
да многие понимают, у кого мама работала и была одиночкой. и через поколение это проносится, я ничего к дочери не ощущаю, но умом-то понимаю, что если ее не любить, то свяжется потом с каким-то абьюзером и похерит мне всю дальнейшую родословную. через силу глажу её, настолько это непривычно для меня, обниматься тоже сложно. ну может когда она болеет, то забочусь о ней более нежно. просто я и сама воспитывалась без особых чувств любви, в моей семье эмоции - это проявление слабости, а маму я вообще мало помню, потому что в основном с бабушкой жила. много недолюбленных детей. но детям-сиротам не повезло ещё больше..
I'm sorry you went through that. I went through something similar and it still affects my life in some ways today.
And there are still parents still think that giving material items and food is equal to giving attention, which is sad.
yeah the other day i confronted my mom about her being neglectful and she told me that she fed me and stuff, when they give you that answer you just know you will never make them understand
@@memberofchat2825 they failed us before we ever failed them. but of course facing that is beyond their cowardice/unawareness.
They're still babies but they already have anxiety. This breaks my heart so bad.
To see babies described as anorexic...that's got some control issues to it. These tiny kids lives are so out of control and screwed up that anorexia is developed? My God how maligned these kids lives already were. Then realise millions of them. What a humanitarian travesty. Wonder was there follow up studies.
@@lorinapetranova2607 I feel that the institution may have contributed to their anorexia. I’ve watched and read about much of that eras institutions. They simply neglected the children, for lack of staff mostly. Lots of feeding babies requires a slow progress of spoon fed time consuming attention…. Likely in which nobody wanted to do. Thus, they say the babies are “anorexic”.
@@lorinapetranova2607 you have to take into consideration when this video was made. Anorexia is an old medical term for low body weight. It has only recently taken the mental component of control and food aversion into account.
@@natalyrausch yes they mean medical anorexia; it’s when you’re undernourished but not by choice. Like through an illness or neglect or not having money for food. You don’t think you’re fat.
I agree, it's mind blowing
And yet schools treat children like they came from the same homes/environment
YES. Smfh
It’s one of the reasons it’s hard for children to even realize. I didn’t even notice I was being abused and neglected until recently (i’m18) because school just assumed it’s normal or okay, and I wasn’t being severely hit or physically harmed. I thought everyone had parents like mine
@@hydrogen3266 sorry for what happened to you, hope you stay strong
I feel like our whole society does that. One size fits all when in reality it barely fits anybody.
it makes no sense
To all the wonderful people in the comment section who deeply relate to those neglected children:
I feel you, I see you, I hear you!
Your upbringing does NOT define you as a person!!
Continue giving ALL the love that you never received as a child. Let's show them how it's done despite our painful past!!!
KEEP BREAKING THE CYCLE WITH ME!!!💪💪💪
These words so much resonated with my inner self. That’s me❤ my daughter is my everything 🩷
My mum was very abusive when I was a kid. And still she is. When I misbehaved she just ignored me, didn’t speak to me. This could last for hours, days and even weeks.She always compared me with other kids. I was always worse.She insulted me in public so other people could hear all this stuff. I was so embarrassed.
Now I don’t feel a single positive emotion about her. I didn’t love her at all.
But now as an adult I can give the love and care to myself . That gives me hope
I completely feel you.
This thing is completely wrong. We do not know what pressure our mothers are exposed to during our childhood, perhaps financially or morally. Therefore, you must forgive your mother and love her even if she made a mistake in raising you. May God be pleased with you if you please your parents. Since you realized this in your old age, you do not need help from now on. Onwards
@@reda2455no, change the story to "my father" and think if the answer would be the same...
@@PeaceIfYouCanFindItwhy always trying to make victim when is the mother the abuser....
I'm so proud of you,even though I don't know you. You deserve so much better than what you had,but I'm so glad you can love yourself now,I send more love!
When you've been raised in an environment where you need to survive and your safety is dependent on understanding those harmful adults around you, you don't learn how to play. You just remain vigilant....
💯💯💯 Exactly! We become prey animals and the adults the predators. Lone/defenseless prey animals learn the #1 thing is to always be vigilant to one’s surroundings. They also learn to not draw attention and to freeze when dangerous circumstances escalate.
How heartbreaking is that 💔
Most babies dont desire to be watched playing, children want to be played with. My autistic son is an independent, preferred to play solo and needed to learn how to socially engage and play with others. We really have no idea if what this video is claiming is the truth in regards to these children's background.
Fact's
@@hydrofire1296 I agree with that. As someone who is on the spectrum and has 2 brothers on the spectrum. This video doesn't say a lot in it, it's an old film and study. However these babies seemed more occupied with watching the adults wandering around them vs freely exploring these new toys or even just doing nothing. That is telling to me for their age. But I do agree that the information in this video is flat and assumes all of the babies used, were neurotypical.
Anyone else just wanted to pick those babies and shower them with kisses and affection? Adopt them? I am honestly heartbroken
Yeah, be like, "Okay, research is over. Time to give this child the love they need."
I don't even like children that much but I felt the same way. Give them all the love!
to think that ppl prefer to subject their bodies to traumatic hormonal injections, spend a ton of money so that they can give birth and not open even a little bit their mind to adoption is truly the most great explanation of how the world we live in is so f up.
I was watching and dying to take them out of that chair and give them some warmth and hugs
@@louvretreekay12_ It takes a lot to adopt. Emotionally and financially. These children need treatment, they need extra care and not everyone is ready for that.
I became a mother this year and I’m in a pool of tears watching these precious babies search for mama in everyone around them. Early on, I read the cruciality of the role of the mother archetype and how her presence defines every other interaction in one’s life, forever. This can be applied to the term “parent” too, the mother archetype is within us all. I’m just applying it to my own experience- I have dedicated my life now to ensuring my son develops secure attachment and hope that I’m not messing it up. He’s so precious, I can’t get enough. I feel so sad to know there are children born around the same time, walking through life alongside him, that are being neglected and forgotten about. Part of me can’t bear to watch these kinds of videos but I also want to see the range of examples of all sorts of children and their development. It’s like a necessary evil. And it’s so many children’s reality that they are neglected from birth on… even in the most subtle ways this damage lasts a lifetime. I’m one of the kids who has irreversible emotional damage from early childhood development and I am doing my best to make sure that’s not my own children’s experience.
Me too. A dad.
Even at 1, she's just so curious, pting at everyone pretending her talk, baby babble. I just start naming things she pts at bc u know, I gotta entertain the baby. Bc I'm sure it's deep😅 but it for is & everything in her tiny world. Although I hate going out in public bc my few days off I'm trying to get as much as I can do w/ out getting side tracked. Bruh yes, I know. I think she's super precious too. I'm not really that bishy, I'm just trying to improve mine & "Gerber's baby" life here, that u want to pay so much attention to... Now if u don't mind, time is essence. Bish move, get out the way. 🥰 Pretty sure she's trying sing right now tho
I wish the best for you and your loved ones.
@heycharise i see your example and i'm so grateful.
my mother's emotional abandonment the moment i felt any difficult emotions, now makes me self-abandon whenever something triggers.
my father's narcissism is something i became aware of only recently but he's been physically violent since my birth. my nervous system was so fried wanting to be secure knowing i wasn't gonna be hit even before i was 1.
their fuckingup my childhood made me give up on motherhood altogether. coz
1. i don't want to saddle my child with my wounds, its not light to carry it lifelong.
2. having such grandparents is something no child shud be subject to.
@@ranirathi3379 You deserved much better than that type of treatment; you have always been worthy of love and care. I hope that you are able to love yourself now.
When I was a kid everyone always called me "mature for my age, old soul, quiet" etc. I didn't realize until I was in my 20s that a kid who gives you that impression is a big red flag.
This is why I say not many deserve to have children in this world. No child deserves to be neglected or abused in any way.
It hurts my heart so much. I’m 27 and have refused to have kids until I can finish my degree, having come from a bad childhood and struggling as a young adult. My boyfriend of 7 years and I both won’t have a kid until we finish school. I’ll probably have my first child at 30. Meanwhile there are people who just have kids and don’t think this way at all. Having a stable home and family is so important....
@@lovexoangel Exactly! And how do boomers react to that? You'll be unattractive and and will "sour" by then. Like so what? I'll adopt! There's too many orphans who ended up in orphanages, mostly living in terrible conditions that would have their lives changed if they had loving parents to raise them into amazing members of the society! There's too many orphans that I could raise as my own children and be proud of than having to worry about "souring" or not being able to have biological children in any way. Time to put away the corrupt old school thinking. Time for parents to focus on being the best role model for their kids before they bring them to this world.
That's why abortion and voluntary sterilization should be easily available everywhere.
For the most part parents don’t really intend to hurt their children and often end up feeling a lot of shame and guilt about it later on. They were usually neglected as children themselves and never learned how to be good parents. Not an excuse but explains things and helps us to have compassion for them. We don’t choose the families we’re born into. Hurt people, hurt people😢
@@wendyannruns totally agree with this.👍
The fact that these babies have gone through multiple foster homes and most of them don’t even look like they’re 1 yet is heart breaking.
I'd say it's due to foster parents giving up easily....
Courts can also move confiscated children around to suit their budget. My parents were gone when I was two. Dad in prison, mum hit the bottle & my bro n me wards of the court.
My therapist said my mum was mentally ill, alcoholism is a disease.
My life followed the predictable psychiatric roadbumps: raped as a minor,,
marrying an abusèr, becoming a prescription drug addict, having a narc daughter that blames me for her choices
The mother I always wanted but never knew, who never sent me a birthday card passed away. Means now I'm a legitimate orpan finally.
@@KateBates22zabu I’m so so sorry. I can’t even imagine the pain that caused you. The whole system is so messed up and what’s scary is that not many people have any intention of fixing it.
@@aubreybanner7301 I don't know about fixing anything but thank you for your reply. You may save a life one day by your thoughtfulness.
There was a scandal in my area of parents arranging to have their kids *scared straight* in local juvenile facility by eager guards. Paying to have their kids terrorized, this is the world we live in.
@@KateBates22zabu sadly, such atrocities have historically been embraced, dismissed and justified, but times and attitudes are radically changing thanks to the expanses of access to information and its exchange, destigmatization of matters of mental and emotional health and the bravely rebellious and unapologetic displays of embracing personal truth undertaken by so many individuals and collectively as movements which enacted social/cultural change! Viva l'amore et viva la revolution!
I am stunned. At 71, I've just discovered this was me. The Super-8 movies still exist.
I just thought I was tired, didn't like the camera, or just a "good" baby. I have no words.
Thank you for posting this.
Во время беременности мы с мужем читали дочери сказки и она реагировала в моем животе на наши голоса. Детям очень важно чувствовать себя любимыми еще до рождения , не говоря уже о дальнейшей жизни.
😢❤
Jesus loves you guys 🫶🏽💞
@@SynzhielJesus loves you 🫶🏽💞
@@lislainy1553but i only think of him as a friend and nothing more...😅
I completely agree
“Every child deserves a parent, *but not every parent deserves a child.”*
Amen!!!
You know, a lot of people say it's selfish not to have children, but is it more selfish than neglecting a child?
@@cedarspirit it's selfish TO HAVE children. No human wanted to go out from their nonexisting. How when you LITERALLY don't exist.
So actually the person who wants a child is the selfish one because of personal goals.
@@cedarspirit Selfish is bringing up a child to this world not being able to emotionally and financially provide for that chid.
People have children for selfish reasons such as look good in the eyes of society, keep a partner with them, use children as their companionship, use them as labor, use them as punchbags, use them as pawns...the list is endless.
@@Sarablueunicorn well, you're just adding extra stuff but yeah. These could be the reason but the point is clear.
If people wants children, then just fucking adopt one.
The children never asked to be born, its the parents who decided to give birth. If you're a parent, fulfil your duties and responsibilities of a parent. Love is a necessity, not a luxury. This is so heartbreaking.
You're right about that nowdays I see people having children but they're not ready to be parents and it makes sad seeing that. That the child doesn't get any love by the parents.
@@ripvanwinkle1537 nobody is really ready to be a parent. It's a responsibility and those who forsake this are scum of the earth
Well in that case please put me out of my missery
@@csongorarpad4670 true
People forget that its a 'Responsibility' and some people are not Responsible at all. Sad
Как же хочется чтобы все дети росли в любви и в защите😭😭😭💔
Увы это невозможно
Вот только в лесу эти дети бы не играли в кубики. Но выросли бы максимально адаптированными к среде. Думаю, дети из неблагополучек уже давно обошли благополучных сверстников в жизни.
@@frostproff4311Не понимаю, как отсутствие родителей помогает в адаптации. Да и какой лес, мы люди или дикие животные. Человек должен развиваться умственно, а неблагополучки нередко только язык силы и знают.
Привет, друг. Мы живём в матрице, устроенной на жестокость и страдания. Нас уничтожают из космоса. Ты ни в чем не виноват. Набери "уфолог Бова"
@@dtyfffygcfddf возможно, но это не легко сделать.
The correlation between symptoms of autism and ptsd/trauma is quite fascinating, particularly in children
This is a hard one for me, my daughter is non verbal autistic, and I can see her behavior in these children.
It certainly looks that way, however we always shown her unconditional love. It may be a weird intersection where two completely different paths lead to the same place.
@@wedp112I would think one of the biggest differences is autism would be present regardless of upbringing, but from what I’ve seen, many kids, especially 10+ years ago, had undiagnosed autism that compounded how they were treated, leading to trauma symptoms in addition to autistic difficulties.
My parents always say, “ as long as a baby is active and playing it’s a good sign they’re okay, once they show no interest that’s when you start to worry”
And this is so true. 🤷🏻♀️
My mom says the very same thing. Too bad it took her 30+ years to realize I wasn't a happy child.
@@glo85ria cats aren't children...
@@SVanTha Lol, underrated comment :)
@@SVanTha your point?
Who else was described by their parents like a quiet baby who barely cried or gave any trouble and as an adult developed a long list of mental and physical illnesses?
Edit: got 24k likes and 500 replies and youtube didn't notice me about it. Going to read all your replies now. Thank you all.
Me
Me.
🤝
@@eleanademera6371 Could be more subthreshold autism than neglect though.
Me and knowing my Mother shows strong signs of Narcissistic Personality Disorder, I don't believe her or my father's bullshit that I was like that for no reason.
Как горько видеть этих несчастных детей. Не смогла досмотреть до конца. Сердце сжимается от того, что сделали родители с этими детьми.
Родители бросили этих детей, они оказались в детдоме. И вот что из этого получилось... Я не смогла сдержать слез, когда показали карапуза, которому игрушки были не нужны, а нужен был взрослый, который мог бы стать ему родителем. Он глаз не сводил с психолога. Столько надежды было в его глазах...
В детском доме оказываются и не из плохих семей и увы очень быстро ребёнок приходит в такое состояние даже после любящей, прекрасной семьи. Бывает разное, авария, тяжелая смертельная болезнь, война...
Самое страшное, что сейчас и из вполне благополучных семей детей изымают и потом месяцами, годами не возвращают родителям. Просто по доносу соседей, жалко детей и их родителей, которые не устают за них биться.
@@user-eg7gh6dp3lпочему это самое страшное. Это тоже самое
@@user-qo1mm7pi9jНет, это уже страшнее, т.к.страдают и дети, и родители. И родител хотят забрать свою кровинушку, а им не дают. И поводов законных нет, а не отдают. Калечат всю семью. Вот поэтому такое страшнее.
Случайно попала видео. Я счастлива, что мой сын растёт в любви и внимании ему сейчас 10м. Родители пожалуйста, любите и не оставляйте своих детей❤
Я даже прослезилась, смотря это видео и держа на руках своего полугодовалого сына
@@olyapronikova6611 вово тоже самое.
Ещё ужаснее, когда в семье родитель или оба с Нарциссическим Расстройством Личности (РНЛ). С виду -рай. А ребёнок только и наблюдает - откуда прилетит. У них формируется диагноз - "хорошая девочка или мальчик".
@@user-ky7ee1mt4z спасибо, что рассказали, я об этом не знала.
Тільки не відпускайте свого сина на СВО
This is why parenthood should be seen as a privilege and not a blessing or such. Some people do not deserve to be parents and all of the others should be hiven the chance to really think about it and be sure they're ready
Not a privilege. A RESPONSIBILITY
@R•se There is always adoption
Testing needs to be an requirement in order for people to have children
@@dramacoma6786 it's easy said than done
1. There is still stigma in society about adopting especially with family, relatives and friends.
2. The adoption process is not so easy sometimes people get picky which leads to child trafficking and that's whole pandora in itself
@mcrts very true, being a hands on mother it's another responsibility where you have to be very attentive and present at all times. it's not straight forward nor has a hand book so it's always most of the time trying to find your feet and learning on the job. If you want social life all the time please spare and don't have a child.
They want a person. Not a thing. So sad
I agree
Fact's
Yes. This is me. Gone my whole life yearning for a safe mother figure, a safe attachment. Im 42 now. A wasted human life.
Deborah Gyllien, it's never a wasted life, I hope you find your peace, because its out there waiting for you, you just have to accept it x
@@deborahbaker1254 dear debora, i want to hug you. You are save and you are loved. Always.
To see that this was known over 20 years before I was born and my nmom studied psychology removes any last excuses I held for her around not knowing how to raise a healthy child. She took so much pride in having a “good” (quiet) baby. I would take pride in having a loud one, if I’d ever had one of my own. It’s so heartbreaking to see kids like me and know their struggle as they try to find health as adults. ❤
wild. my abusive mom also studied psychology and has a degree. once i was in my tween years, but still.
I think one of the most consistently and frequently committed attrocities in the world, even today, is people having children for a sense of accomplishment or even out of peer pressure (usually family), and then not actually desiring bringing a person into the world by not having the patience and dedication to carefully manage a developing human being. The worst part is they never blame themselves, so no lesson is learned, and it just keeps happening.
It's actually disgusting. Poor children 😢
It's heartbreaking to see a child so young already disassociate from reality or have a complete distrust of their environment. This may carry with them for the rest of their life
it will carry and grow in weight for the rest of their lives....
Certainement
Looks like ADHD. I was like this in my baby videos. Either too inattentive to the people around me or switching focus to things in the distance. :) can you imagine some bogus doctor taking an add baby and calling the parent abusive? Already Happened. That's how this stuff works
@@postalservice_spa few of the kids look a bit autistic look at the wrist movements
@@postalservice_sp
i definitely see what you mean - could be ADHD symptoms but i am wondering if there is a correlation between trauma and ADHD ( for personal reasons )
however, i do understand ADHD could develop without trauma present in children
The institutionalized children are reaching for love, not blocks. My heart aches for them
I am completely heart broken for them! How awful, I wish I could love on each and every baby on this planet that is being neglected! They deserve the world, they deserve nothing but happiness 💔
Incredibly sad to watch
@@adrianaaguirre5605 same!!! =(
No they aren't lol. Children at that age still have developing brains so they can't process love yet. The video was doctored. Children will always go for the blocks, that's instinct for building and development in tactile senses. You don't need love to function, it's just a chemical reaction that stimulates dopamine. Too much of it causes instant gratification. You don't know what you're saying lmao.
@@trevorjackson383 love, care and support are important at any age however when it comes to 'toxic' forms of love, then I agree because that type of love hinders growth and people do fine without that.
Ofc love is not only key, so is care and attentiveness. The children who were institutionalized cannot comprehend love let alone care and support because they were never shown that nor experienced that at that age. Therefore, their brain is slowly grappling with that idea that they're not worthy enough and well that can manifest in many different ways when they get old, usually not in a good way.
I was one of those children. Trust me when I say that being alone your entire life is not something I want to wish on my worst enemy… 😢
This was my childhood along with all sorts of abuse. I'm 23, still in the same house, woth no motivation other than buying a gun and pulling the trigger. No child deserves this and my heart aches every time I hear and see anything about neglected/abused children.
Perhaps you could train to be a child caregiver and do for others what was not done for you? You have value and could love little ones. God bless you.
Dios te ama, búscale y descubre para que te ha creado, a lo mejor tiene algo grande para tí,oraré por tí, te amo en cristo Jesus
Jesus loves you! Jesus has a purpose for you. You have breath in your body because you have a purpose. I want you to know that your life matters ❤! Take it one day at a time! You can come to Jesus with all your problems!
Hi! I’ll be 23 this year myself (just so you know this isn’t coming from someone out of our generation)
You can still have a meaningful life and use your time helping those abused and neglected children if it’s something you’re truly passionate about
But even if not, don’t give up :(
The best is always yet to come
Jesus loves you. He is the father that you need.
In survival mode when they're so young - it's heartbreaking.
I agree. It's so sad. I'm so sorry that this happens.
I’ve always been in survival mode tbh
I never should’ve been
Minecraft@!!!!
Yes heartbreaking- wish I could help children like these
@@somefuckingretard8289 HAHA FUNNY GAMING REFERENCE HERE’S YOUR 5 STAR
So very sad! I adopted my grandson at age 3 who was ignored by his mother, and just left in crib! Was a failure to thrive child! Alot of work had to be done. After 1 year, he was well adjusted, outgoing and happy! He will be 29 next month and has 2 children of his own! What a great, loving dad he is ❤😊
When I was growing up my family was a foster family. We took in a set of twins similar to your grandchild. They were called "crib babies." They were completely neglected. At one years old they couldn't even sit up because they were never picked up and played with thus didn't build any muscles. They were completely disengaged and just stared into space. Fortunately they were five of us children who are all girls and we all doted it on them and they lapped it up. Within 6 months of all this attention in love, they both caught up physically and were very happy, well adjusted toddlers. They were then adopted by loving family together.
Is mom your daughter?
Danke Danke Danke für Deine Liebe für die Kinder ❤❤❤
Well done for being brave
I can tell you that you're an angel to him and not just a grandmother, thank you for putting your heart and effort into that child!
Господи, сколько душераздирающих история я прочитала в комментария😭 Дай Бог вам всем счастья и добра🙏 Спасибо, что не сломались от безразличия своих самых родных людей - мамы и папы...Слезы на глазах, душа внутри на клочья разрывается от ваших историй....😭😭😭
People would make fun of me for reading to my son when he was a newborn. But my son doesn't seem to hate me the way their kids of the same age do.
Caroline, Veronique, jean, René, Anette, and Colette hope they’re having the best life now. No child deserves to be traumatized by traumatizing parents.
Traumatized parents maybe
Me too
They’re probably in their 50s or 60s now, if they’re still alive
Sadly, it's very unlikely. The consequences of neglect and abuse so early in life, even with best therapy, stays in people's hearts forever.
@@OstblockLatina that’s very tragic but I still hope they found some way to enjoy life..
These kids will grow up and be called “mature for their age”. That’s not the compliment adults think it means
Edit: since there’s a ton of confusion in these comments. I never implied that I was calling them mature or that they’d grow up mature, but that people will ignorantly claim them to be, when that’s not the case. (Hah sry for miscommunication)
I’ve been called "mature for your age" all my life. no. a 7y/o can’t be mature. they’re just traumatized.
@@pequitaslu when ever I tell ppl my mom is strict, what I secretly mean is she's abusive :/
@@Destiny-kx4hw same dude it sucks
@@Destiny-kx4hw im so sorry:/
@@Destiny-kx4hw OMG i have never thought about that my bestie says that to me alot that her parents are strict and so does my cousin
This makes me want to go to places like that and spend each day hugging the babies and toddlers and telling them they are loved.
God bless you ! They are so adorable !
Children need to feel safe before they can show explorative behavior. It breaks my heart to know not every baby gets unconditional love or AT THE VERY LEAST warm hearted care
I don’t think some of y’all realize how much this actually affects your mind, and your thoughts. And your love interests. And your friends. And your intelligence. All the little things. I was a child who experienced this. I am not happy it shaped me. I wish every day I thought normal.
@@wolflehcar8047 I have no feud with religion since it gives people faith, but I don't believe in senseless religious views, what this person needs is a therapist who guides them in behavioral therapy, the religion comes after if they choose to
I‘m so sorry 💔 I hope you get to heal at least to some extend over time. Best to you and hang in there
It’s so fucked. I hope you’re able to get the mental health support and love that you need.❤️
I can relate fully ur not alone ❤️
Me too
Growing up everyone would tell my parents how great my brothers and I were for being well behaved and “quiet”. We were getting abused at home.
Are you serious I'm so sorry to hear that 😔
I am gonna live in the ppls closet who abounded your and beat them to death with my Gucci belt
SHAME ON THEM
Same. It wasn’t until later in life I found out I lived in a few cult-like settings as well. Fun times.
I really hope you and your siblings are in a better place now surrounded by better people!! I'm so sorry you guys went through all that. Please remember that there are people who cherish you and deeply care for you!! And if no one does, someone will come into your life who will provide you the love you deserve🥺 you've been so strong, it's alright to cry it out okay? Let it all out when you need to. It must've been so hard. Reminder to drink tons of water, get enougj sunlight and that you're human!!👉👈✨✨
Same
The moment I heard the words “anorexic” my heart shattered. The tired look in their eyes was so sad. I hope they found loving families and homes.
У каждого человека своя по своему удивительная история детства ,будь она хорошая или плохая ...Те люди которым не хватало в детстве любви ,тепла и заботы ,помните ,что вы самый прекрасный человек на земле ,полюбите себя так как никто другой ,станьте себе самым прекрасным родителем ,и гордитесь собой ,будьте счастливы и любимы ❤
Хотелось бы обнять каждого человека,кто нуждался в объятиях со всей душевной теплотой !❤
Нуждаюсь…Спасибо ❤
Спасибо❤️🥹
I can't help but cry at this. I was called a quiet child. Now that I have grown up I know fully well how dysfunctional our family was and how abusive households can destroy a child's brain.
I feel your pain 😔. Same for me too ☹
My family was also dysfunctional, but didn't suffer any problems and had a great childhood. I guess it depends on the person.
Hugs to your inner child 🥰
@Mr. DixOvaRice did you watch and understand the video or.....
Same, I know from personal experience that for some of the kids the reason why they didn't touch the blocks was because they used to get hit for touching things. But at that age you don't understand so your defense is to sit there quietly and not do anything so you don't get hit again.
The eyes the eyebrows the sunken face the heavy breathing, its heartbreaking that even a baby can feel that way
Right? What's even worse for me is that I recognize the look of the last baby. The wide eyes, The heavy, irregular breathing and the constant looking around...I do that. I was put through similar treatment from the time I was born 'til very recently. I recognize that feeling...I hope these kids found some peace later in life. I really do hope.
I just wanna give those poor babies a hug. :(
Me too !
I see myself in some of these children. Even today I am trying to smile. Maybe to warm up to find someone I can truly trust.
its frightening how mentally and emotionally fragile human beings are.
Yeah so it makes sense that people are sensitive and that’s a normal thing not a bad thing.
Fragile yet resilient
@N😍🥰🤷 god is overrated
I've been saying that for years about people that think micro aggressions are real and words equate to violence.
@N😍🥰🤷 true
I was malnourished as a baby and abused by my biological mother. I have a lot of anxiety to this day. I am currently 8 months pregnant with my daughter and I’m so excited to give her the life I never had as a child. ❤️
Hopefully, we learn from our mom's/parents mistakes, I did, my mom made alot, but I was sure I did not make the same ones with my daughter. There's no perfect parent, I'v probably made some. Enjoy your new little one, and be good and forgiving with yourself. My daughter is 14, and a wonderful human being, so far, I did pretty good by her.......
I wish you the very best and applaud you for trying to give your little one the life she deserves instead of those that take it out on there kid. Enjoy every moment they grow too fast ❤️
You go girl! 💖💖
Yay! Love for you and your daughter 🙏
I wish you all the best with your pregnancy and delivery. Parenthood is hard, but I'm confident you'll learn from your mom's mistakes and do better by your baby.
Пока я это смотрела, на душе было очень скверно. Таких детей куча в разных странах, они растут без любви, а иногда попадаются плохие воспитателя, что еще хуже(
Плачу и узнаю себя! Спасибо за такие познавательные эксперименты - лучше один разу видеть это вживую.
It breaks my heart to see the attitude of the kids who were neglected. They seem constantly on alert, anxious, it’s sooooo sad 😢
Yes, like they expect to get in trouble or yelled at...this is making me cry
And they are so little...too little to have had to know that kind of pain.
I think they do not feel safe so they are constantly on alert. Poor kids.
My first kid is 9 months old now and loves squealing and having fun when he plays which is such a contrast to the way these kids act....it makes me really sad that these kids feel like they can't express themselves or even play at all.
Hello, Jesus loves u so much and wants to saves you and everyone. You're so beautiful and precious to God,
Jesus forgives sins, repent of his mistake and be a friend of Jesus, He is wonderful and loves you very much. have a good day and week❤❤❤
That first baby is the chubbiest, happiest thing I’ve ever seen.
he's my favorite part of this video
It's fun watching them do stuff. So cute
makes me remember of my cute son i love him!
He’s adorable ❤️
He’s also approaching 60😂
Желаю, чтобы все дети росли в любви, заботе, внимании, принятии и понимании ..
This is the story of my upbringing. My mother boasts about how strangers would approach her in public and tell her how quiet and well behaved we were… while being terrified of my mother’s wrath over the smallest infraction. We lived in terror over her punishment, neglect and abuse. Needless to say as an adult I have very little contact with her. She’s never offered an explanation or apology and gets hostile and defensive after even hinting at the abuse.
Good for you. I’m planning to go no-contact once I move out for college this year.
I almost went through the same stuff. My mom was a workig women and left me with dad hoping he is taking care of me. One day she returned home quick and saw I was laying down alone with no one around with a dirty diaper. She tried to find my dad but he wasn't home. Can you imagine leaving a child of just 9 months all alone in the house. Since then mom started taking me to her work place. Carrying all the necessities. She used to be around all the time and made me sleep in an office table. She never left me alone. She was a gutsy women taking me to a government office along with her. I am grateful for the love and support which the people in her office gave us.
I dont believe this story, you wouldn't know at 9 months that you were on your own, please use your brain when writing fictional rubbish. Stop making stories up! So weird.
@@emmawatson9233 aww.. I had my mom who told me that. Duh 😂😂
Now that is a badass woman
Hope, your father felt the consequences for his neglect dearly.
@@len8134 yes, I am 32 now mom of a beautiful babygirl who is already 2 now, my father was an abusive husband too, lost my mom to suicide 9yrs ago and I havent seen his face since then..
As a father, I feel the urge to hold these babies and show them the love they deserve. Heartbreaking.
Maybe that's what you need to do for some other child out there where you live.
Same. I want to squeeze each one tight and never let go. Every baby deserves so much love.
I actually had tears come down..I just can't imagine how people can neglect their children.. I would never be able to do that to my son. My heart would break
I hugged the pooponium out of our four, now 29 through 34, and am doing equally well with three grandsons.
Seriously. I wish I could hold all of them.
I was praised for being a quiet child and then was also told I was "too quiet" and needed to "speak more". So I just shut everything out. Figured if no one knew i was there, I'd be able to get some sort of emotional relaxation.
Wish my mum had bothered learning this instead of starving me, ignoring me having pneumonia, and leaving me in a bus stop close to death when I was 3 months old. 🤷🏻♀️Happy to report I’m now 20 years sober, whip smart, incredibly curious, and a loving mum.
😢😢😢Грустная история у вас? Вы росли в детдоме?
Story up,
Whip smart.
Okay buddy.
How smart is a whip?
I'd bet you're a professional victim if I had to put money on something.
You got this! ❤
I’m sure your dad having no part in this equation made things very hard on her. Don’t blame her completely…
This makes me so sad. Don’t have kids if you’re not ready or don’t really want to care for them
Yes, people want to pleasure themselves but not care for the natural results of it. Sad to see babies look suspicious and anxious. We can only imagine the life they had.
Though I do agree with you, there are much more children on this earth than there are parent's. You have parent's who sex sell their own kids.
that's why abortion should be legal everywhere
@@jx2na196 did my previous comment get deleted
@@annie68164 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽!!! Finally somebody said it.
“Just leave her be. She’ll cry it out.”
She won’t. She’ll just eventually realize that you don’t care and you’re not coming to help, and that helpless, lonely, terrible feeling will fester in her mind for the rest of her life, long after she’s forgotten about all those times you let her “cry it out.”
I really agree with this statement
I agree with you 100 percent.I said the same thing in mum groups in facebook for the cry-it-out in sleep training and i was harshly ridiculed. Welp, didnt went back there again.
As a cry it out kid, too true. An infant who is forced to cry it out definitely creates an adult who avoids showing weakness because they fear being abandoned as punishment. My mother and I have a wonderful relationship and she has since expressed serious regret, but even good people can be not great parents
That’s called the abandonment wound.
From the depth of my being, I feel every word you said.
This is just really sad to watch this just shows how much one's environment affects individual as whole they are grown scared, full of social anxiety, not living life freely ,growing thinking that nobody will love them WOW when I was small we lived in a huge family and my Step grandmother used to bully me but I was blessed with great parents still the effects lingered but now I have put it back in the past and I am focusing to grow individual as a whole
Having a good family is like a jackpot that nobody talks about but so is the reality of this world
I am so grateful to my parents, esp my mom. She was neglected (grandma was a single mother with 6 kids, working, it was hard for her to manage but she did look after the child while she was still a baby, after that my mom was taken care of by her elder sister) and had to look after her younger siblings. When I was about 2 or 3, my sis (3 years older than me), both my parents worked and sis was too young to take care of me. So my mom decided to leave me at a nursery. When she returned, my cheeks were dried of tears and I was still crying (and I RARELY ever cried as a baby, like once in a bluemoon, not even if I got hurt). My mom felt so bad that she quite her part time job bcuz she had rather spend time on me. Things were tough so she could still spend little time on me, but she came home earlier than before and sister was in charge of watching over me for a couple of hours. I was such a chaotic, energetic goofball that I destroyed everything I got my hands on (including make up, dad's technical equipments and important documents) but my mom said she would rather have me destroy those stuff than to see me crying like that again. How I love her and miss her!
Watching the adults: they can be dangerous.
Don't touch the blocks: you can be punished for that.
You never know.
That's what I was thinking. That one girl reaches out a finger like she wants to touch it and then looks around hesitantly and pulls her hand back. I think she has been yelled at (or worse) for touching things before.
@@lestranged Yes.
This is exactly what I thought when I saw these poor babies....
I thought about it too
Anka you made me look this in completely different way. In a negative way, Thanks!
I always hate how, at school, the really noisy kids that cause problems get all the attention. The quit kids are just ‘well behaved’ and nobody asks questions. But those kids can have bad home lives too.
Yeah, I'm one of them :( I've been a quiet kid my while life
@@Lunaliladee don’t be afraid to ask for help. I never did and regret it sometimes.
thanks, ill try :)
A lot of the noisy kids at school ARE looking for attention because they aren’t getting enough at home. You have similar problems but different ways to cope.
Yep 😐
Спасибо большое за перевод ! Серьёзные исследования .
Конечно , чтобы быть хорошим родителем , сначала нужно быть здоровой личностью . А это тоже - целый путь!! И иногда мы начинаем выздоравливать сами только в 40-50-60 лет. И это Слава Богу!! ❤
100%
this breaks my heart. every child deserves good parents.
I am a grown up woman who was neglected in my childhood. My mom was even proud to tell me that every time I cried as a baby nobody came to me on purpose, so I can learn to calm myself and to understand that her life doesn't revolve around me.. She was also very abusive during my childhood. I have to say I still feel like these little babies from video, I show a very low interest to life, like some part inside me is very empty and sad and a void for a hug and attention has never disappeared even with my 37. I don't speak with my "mom" for years, I truly don't care about her, if she is dead or alive. She stole a happy childhood from me and I am stealing a happy getting older from this person. Please hug your children often
Can I send you big internet hug?
💗👍
@@wilczajagoda734 of course 🤗. Thank you for that
@@weDie-tomorrow I know that feeling, when some random people treat you better than your mother. I was always wondering how does it feel to be loved. My "mother" told me that she would like to have a prettier girl than me and anytime when we visited some of her friends with children she was playing with them, gave other children attention and she was truly happy. It was heartbreaking. I broke up a contact with her also because everytime when I saw her face it reminded me of my loveless childhood. When she dies I will take care of funeral but I have no feelings to this person.
@weDie-tomorrow. My mom said after having me & bringing me home from the hospital while she was holding me, I looked up at her like I hated her. Her spankings were on the face, back & neck. She was a hateful woman. Nothing made her happy! I don't remember her ever telling me she was proud of me. She never held me or told me she loved me. When I was seven years old, I got the nerve up to ask her why she had me if she didn't love me. She told me to blame God! She said He is the reason I'm here. I went outside, looked up to the sky & screamed & cried & told God I hated Him. About an hour later, I fell to my knees, begging Him to forgive me. I rode the church bus to church. They would come to get me every Sunday morning. My mom never took me to church. Later in life, when I got cancer, she found out & called me begging me to forgive her. We live in separate states. I didn't want to be anywhere near her. After her asking me for forgiveness, I did forgive her. I had to think about it for a while first. One reason is because she validated what I had felt all those years. She admitted to the way she wronged me. I'm not trying to be selfish, but I mostly did it for myself. Who wants to go through life being bitter & angry all the time?! I didn't trust anybody because I felt she's my mother & couldn't love me, then nobody else could. It was affecting all my other relationships. My self-esteem was really low. I took my feelings out on the ones that truly loved me. After I forgave her, I have to say I felt so much better! It was like a heavy weight had been lifted from me. I made it through an awful rare blood & bone cancer. I wasn't supposed to make it! After that, she called me often & I found out about her life as a child. I started to see what she had been through. I'm not making excuses for her, but she lived an awful life & her childhood had been stolen from her. I'm not going to get into it, but it was truly sad. I don't think she knew how to be a mother from her background & I don't think she knew how to truly love someone. She was never taught. Everybody that was supposed to love & protect her let her down. My mother made a better mother to adult children. We talked a lot after that & she was the one that initiated the phone calls. She told me that I had done really well in my life & it was a damn shame she couldn't take the credit for it, lol. What she didn't know was that the more she told me I wouldn't amount to anything, it made me try even harder to prove her wrong. I worked & paid my own way through college. I found a great job. She called me often & she told me she loved me & was proud of me when it was time to hang up. I think I had been waiting on those words from her for a long time. It was like getting to know someone. I'm happy to say that no matter how bad my mother treated me, I had never said a bad word to her. My mother passed away in Sept 2021. I'm so glad I forgave her before she left the world because I have no regrets & I loved her as much as I could. It wasn't a perfect love but love nonetheless.
"He withdraws into himself and takes refuge in the self-soothing activity of thumb sucking"
Never did I think I'd read something like that with almost tears in my eyes. I hope the kids are doing okay now.
I used to be a index finger sucking child...it developed into a sucha bad habit that i wasnt able to sleep without that at all till i was of 11-12. And what people did was mock me by asking questions do u still do that?!?! No wonder i am having the worst time of my life with all that anxiety and panic attacks in my adulthood.
That part really broke my heart! I wish all these precious children good lives..
rhythm 22 I’m 22 and I still sick my thumb
Sucked my thumb until my first child was born at 27, dropped it cold turkey without even thinking about it after that. Now at 55 I hug a stuffed bunny pretty much every night (when I'm not hugging the husband😊) for the past 4 years, it helps with major anxiety.
@@rhythm2238 wtf SAME i sucked my thumb until i was around the same age too because it felt comforting.
I was adopted at eight months old from an orphanage in Russia. According to my adoptive mother and the workers that "watched over me" my demeanor was the same as the neglected children in the video, and had I not been adopted when I was, I wouldn't have lived much longer to see my first full year. The effects of neglect on an infant are all encompassing and have life-long effects physically, mentally, emotionally. My heart continues to break for all of the other children that have dealt/are dealing with similar circumstances. No child should ever have to fear for their safety, feel they are unloved, or wonder why they weren't good enough for the people they needed the most.
Это видео является примером почему некоторых люди так озабочены мнением других людей и почему они не доверяют никому или в постоянном поиске того самого человека.
Мне 21 и как только в моей жизни появляется парень, то я перестаю думать о работе или учебе. Раньше я не понимала почему так и подумала уже остаться одной и никого не искать. Но судьба буквально послала мне знак! Это видео все объяснило мне. Я все еще тот маленький ребенок во взрослом теле.
Тоже самое, также в 21 год увидел реальную картину.
Грустно что родителя ничем не заменить и такие как мы, взрослые дети, останемся одиноки навсегда
Такая же история 😢
I stayed at my Grandma's for a few weeks sometime ago. Back then my baby cousin brother was around 8-9 months old and for some reason he loved looking at the moon in the evenings when we took him out on the stroller. So once out of the blue I took him on my arms and sang "City of Stars" while rocking him back and forth and pointed at the moon. The whole evening he would give me the most beautiful smile whenever he saw me (I'm not good at singing though). On another day he was being annoying to his mother so I took him backyard, on my lap (facing his eyes to the afternoon sky) and kept rocking him and eventually talked him to sleep.
Now, he's 1 year 8 months old, I barely visit but whenever I do he still gives me the smile (he hates strangers or people he perceives as being strangers) ! If we have a family gathering, he only sleeps on my arms and squeals out laughing when i snap my fingers (that's something I did when he was just 8 months old). Babies do remember and feel a lot more than what it seems.
This is so beautiful
This is so sweet 💜
Remember that it is appropriate for young children to be suspicious of people other than family and caregivers. A lack of this reluctance is not healthy.
@@RONDAWILLIAMSON Yeah. Also he was born on December 2019, so he technically grew up in lockdown. It's kind of uncomfortable for him to be in a gathering of people.
This is so wholesome. People need to be nicer to babies.
So many people are so quick to say "he's being defiant" or "she knows what she's doing." Give them a break, they're just babies.
“An emotionally deprived child may prioritise social contact, which could be motivated by the child’s intense desire to find a maternal substitute…” my heart just shattered… 💔🥺
Me too. I want the camera people to set aside the blocks and hold those babies. I hope they did so after the recording.
Hopefully just figuratively…
same,............
Unfortunately it may also explain another reason why neglected children are sought after by predators. They are potentially far easier to lure and groom than other children. I know we know this logically but I had never seen it play out like this.
@@ascendingwithrachellovell3239 thats the sad part 😢
Oh man… TH-cams algorithm has been giving me a lot of self-help related videos, not unlike this one here. I’ve learned and felt a lot over the past few months, most of it having to do with childhood trauma and neglect. But the things we experience, often before we know it, have a profound impact on us and those around us.
The choices and decisions we make send ripples through space-time. We don’t know how fair the ripples go before they naturally dissipate, but while they’re here, we see them in many overlapping and compounding forms, like avoidant behavior, emotional irregularities, drug/alcohol abuse, nihilism and many others.
Btw, thank you for posting this video.
I love when they don"t want to pick it up and the camera stays on them, really puts life into perspective...
I have an adopted child from Bulgaria. She lived in an orphanage until 23 months old. She acted like those kids. She didnt know how to play with toys and was disinterested in them. She been home for a little over a year and you would never know she had a problem other then some fine motor skill problems.
Having a family who cares makes a huge difference, and children are unbelievably resilient.
I remember watching in sheer horror a story on Romanian orphanages showing babies, toddlers, children, babies crambed into cots, hands tied, children left alone, many tied to chairs, never once given a cuddle, a stroke of their faces, allowed to play or have someon read them a book. Children with disabilities dumped like rubbish. I have never stopped thinking of those children and babies and have always wished I was wealthy enough to go buy all these horrific "baby/children prisons", sack all staff then employ baby contact cuddlers. Love them. Educate them. Give them a sense of 'belonging'.
God love you for what you did. Your beautiful daughter was given a life. Given loving parents. ❤
@@CateB-um7lu I have to agree with you. I actually live in România, and I myself have 3 children. Unfortunately I belive that even today children in romanian orphanages are not raised with affection and attention...It is truly a sad, sad story. On the other had the rules for adoption are pretty strict, and that makes the adoption process long and hard. I have to say that adopting I think is one of the most humane acts one can make, me and my husband discussed this issue some time ago, before having our own. I admire anyone that is willing to welcome such a child in their homes.
@@CateB-um7lu I cant speak for Romania, bit there are videos on Bulgarian orphanages from the 1990s that are pretty bad. I know Bulgaria has worked hard to move these children into "foster homes" but orphanages are still over crowded and underfunded. But yeah, my daughter was pretty much in a crib all day until she came home with us and very very skinny.
Human contact, touching and Love are the most essential things a child needs.
The wound may have healed but the scar will always remain.
It’s sad and everyone understands when it’s a child, but these same children become adults and people just expect them to be fully functioning and well-developed. There is no compassion then.
EDIT: If you watched this video or read other research pertaining to this subject then you know that childhood abuse/neglect/ trauma has the potential to actually change how the brain functions which could impact the way victims function for the rest of their lives. It’s not about deferring blame or knowing right from wrong, at this point it’s hard scientific fact.
This comment was not written to excuse violent or aggressive behavior because of childhood trauma. It was written because many times these same kinds of children grow up to be ridiculed, bothered, bullied, and taunted for functioning differently (be it depression, introversion, speech impediments, shyness, awkwardness, anti-social, in some cases Autism, etc) by some of the same kinds of people who consider themselves so compassionate or understanding when they see children like the ones in this video. But somehow when they hit a certain age mark, they are no longer deserving of that compassion. Mostly, it’s about just leaving people alone, you don’t know what they’ve been through. This is for anybody, not just those who endured childhood trauma.
When I was in my late teens I gave myself the allowance to not be ‘ok/well adjusted adult considering I came from an environment where people struggled with addiction. Didn’t make sense to think I was a healthy person who was able to love and be loved. I am now 61 and only through the love of God am I here and still learning to accept and thrive in his love, grace and comfort!
This is so true. Most adults with issues and trauma are just neglected children crying inside of an adult body , that abandoned and hurt child never goes away.. these deep wounds will last a lifetime. Praying that they were able to get help and healed , ❤❤🙏🙏🙏
@@jld4870 That’s amazing. I am still here by way of God’s love grace myself. I too came from a family background of addiction and abuse. Your comment really moved me because I have beat myself over the years over why I wasn’t “normal” and when I saw these babies and how they didn’t want to even play..I know just how that feels. Self-compassion is vital.Thank you for your comment.
EDIT: I think it is so odd that there are people in this thread who are bashing the way that some of abused /neglected children have managed to find some peace in a Higher Power after enduring trauma. Again, it speaks to some people having very little to no compassion for others.
Underrated comment
@@Robertoni7 Your welcome Robertoni7, I believe God is transforming us all to be like him. We just have to trust him-which can be very difficult for folks that are ‘detached’ due to neglect/abuse.
But Christ love IS the best and is well worth the journey!
this makes me sad because I was also abused/neglected as a baby and whilst I may not remember it , now I suffer from ADHD, anxiety, dissociative disorder, memory issues etc. It really does effect brains for bad stuff to happen at a young age :(
I just fell on this video and now I'm crying. That's heartbreaking. Every children should have the opportunity of having a caring family!
It’s sad to see that these small children are more concerned about the humans around them rather than enjoying themselves :(
Sucks to be them. 🙄
@Noel Lecombe ik, it breaks my heart to see those poor children treated like experiments rather than the very young human beings 🥺 I personally wont have any children until I am responsible enough to take care of them. There have been more children put into foster care than children with stable families.
I agree. This was heartbreaking to watch.
Because love and connection literally keep babies alive.
I’m 32 and that condition worsened. I sit in my room and feel like people are watching me.
If I could have one wish it would be that every child has loving parents who take the best care of them. It would change the world completely.
Rookie mistake, the first wish is always for a thousand wishes. Only then comes world peace, happy babies, etc.
Eh, babies are resilient. I'll take $100,000,000.
YES!
Agree! The world will be a better place if every parents love and takes care their child.
@@normie2716 no. You don’t deserve the money lmao
Parabéns, Feltrin!
Atitude de um jornalista realmente profissional e entrevista bem conduzida.
Heartbreaking. And it makes me garner compassion for how messy my life is, since much of my childhood and adolescence is a blank. I found old school reports expressing concern at how withdrawn I was that "it's like talking to a wall", from when I was around 5 years old, and at age 7, poems I had written about graveyards and missing my family.
To all parents with newborn babies: try to interact and communicate with them as soon as 1 week old. Remember these angels need conversation and attention than any toys you give.
My baby was put into NICU for a week. I really worry how this has affected our bond sometimes. I hated having to go home and leave him in the hospital without me. I wonder if he felt neglected, unloved or even abandoned, every second he was away from me, it breaks my heart to think about it. I spent every moment I could with him, to the point even the nurses told me to try to lessen the visits as I was missing meals. My baby missed out on being in my arms for the first week of his life. I know it's nowhere near the same situation wise, but I wonder if the effects are the same.
@@persephone3309не переживайте. Это не одно и то же. Вы любите свое дитя и наверстаете всё упущенное. Всё к вас будет хорошо! ❤
Please don't worry about one week in the NICU, your baby is fine. My son spent 3 whole months in the NICU and I only visited for 5-6 hours a day, holding him and talking to him. His day-night schedule was backwards and he was awake at night with only the nurses to talk to him and asleep during the day with me. He is now an exceptionally intelligent, emotionally stable and very loving 17 year old. He does like/need physical contact and hugs though.
@@persephone3309
Yes and respectfully, don’t shove a tablet in front of their face any chance you get.
Воспитывать ребёнка нужно начинать до его рождения! Т.е.начинать воспитывать самого себя стать будущим родителем
It makes me so angry and upset when people say ‘at least they won’t remember’. I don’t consciously remember a lot from my childhood but my subconscious did. And it manifests on your mental health and your nervous system. After experiencing an abusive and neglectful childhood, I suffered from chronic pain, depression, anxiety, depersonalisation, and complex PTSD before the memories from my subconscious mind came back to my conscious mind. I slowly started remembering things that had been pushed deep down. As a child, you push them down and try to forget as a coping mechanism because abuse is hard enough as it easy, so it makes it easier to try and forget straight away. But it will always manifest in other ways and it will often come back to you. I’m now in therapy for things I suffered as a child. Things I forgot for years. But my subconscious mind and my body never did. Please treat your children right, from the beginning. Parenting isn’t just about giving them food and shelter, it’s about keeping them safe and loved.
I actually remember things from when I was 8-9 months old, I clearly remember images and feelings, I'm 30 now, and there's so so much in the unconscious that we manifest in the everyday behaving and programming
Exacto
May you find comfort and healing in Jesus ❤ my father has diabetes and his mood swings because of low blood sugars scared me a lot as a young child, but in Jesus I have learned to forgive a lot and felt comfort and healing
I was born in 1965 and I remember my own baby cot.
Parenting isn't also descrimination like say ...' It's Just another girl born, Vati (dad).
Also isn't just about be born and graduate in Europe and
had kid's before. Wisdon parentings knows that the little newborn baby is a gift of the universo in Trust...
I am a brazilian mother make to bilieve I was the ignorant for 30 years ,- the age the babe give up Life in other country and her business man father doesn't care for her body back
Attachment is so incredibly important. Without it, a soul feels empty and lost.
This is the most heartbreaking thing I have her seen. Any child deserves unconditional love.
I don’t even know much about the behavior of babies, but the way René, Annette, and Colette acted genuinely broke my heart. You can definitely tell something is off. I hope all of these children are all well today.
Sadly a lot of them died because of suicide or depression. Its so horrible what these people did to these humble children. No child deserves this
@@hanskodeda5239 oh no
@@hanskodeda5239 how do u know this?
@@hanskodeda5239 provide proof please
I've seen a baby like that in real life. It was at a crackhouse. The mum just kept getting pregnant constantly, dad in jail, she gave birth then the babies who were drug addicted just got no attention. Man it was so sad.
3:48 "She accepts without resistance when the block is placed in her hand, but shows no real interest." She accepts any thing as long as she is receiving attention, poor thing. This broke my heart. Then all of a sudden a thought crossed my mind " What if she somehow manages to have a relationship with someone but it is abusive? What if it is toxic? She will just accept it all as long as she gets the attention she was deprived of. This is really sad.
That really makes me think about my first relationship and why I stayed in it for two and half years... thank u I didn't think about that
absolutely
@@TheDementedBabe It's a good thing that you realized it, dear. Stay strong.
Yeah well mostly that's what happens, I talk from experience
@@anemptyspace Very sad to hear the truth of the world. There's no limits to bitterness and cruelty, is there?
🥺 как жалко этих деток. Надеюсь, потом у них все хорошо сложилось❤