I love how Garak says “you’ll never know what hit you.” I don’t think he ever had any intention of killing Quark, he was messing with him the whole time. I love Garak, he’s awesome.
@@Daniel-rd6st Not only that but it seems like an un-Garak thing to do. Murdering a high-profile neighbor that he spent considerable amount of time with just prior to his death? Sisko would definitely put the pieces together and Garak would have to spend the rest of his days in a holding cell. Sloppy work for a man who prides himself on secrecy. So yes, I think he was definitely just screwing with Quark. Who wouldn't screw with Quark if given the opportunity? Even Julian has lol.
This is a key line. It shows that Garak (professional assassin, torturer, and executioner) can tell that Quark genuinely doesn’t want to die. This explains why the plotline ends here.
@@BlokenArrow I cannot deny that if I were Garak, I would 100% have had fun with Quark on this. Just engineer a few near-death experiences and then leave him a note saying "Don't worry, I'll get it eventually!" -Garak
Most of the time Garak uses his phaser on maximum so there isn't a corpse. In this case Quark needs a corpse as he has already sold his vacuum desiccated remains to Brunt, in effect it's the merchandise. The Order had micro transporters for when a body was needed, although live agents could use these. The signal was piggybacked on a com line so it was virtually untraceable.
@@Djarra In the novel Federations, Picardd disposes of the artifact containing the villain's mind by ordering the transporter on "maximum range, maximum dispersal". Nothing says gone for good like having your constituent atoms scattered across kilometers of deep space. (The novel also had a memorable scene of the Picard destroying a Romulan Warbird by using the Enterprise's saucer section as a blade at warp velocity.)
Immortalfire and with a smile... certainly more unsettling. At least you know when your imminent death is near with the others. Garak on the other hand is going to have fun making you wonder when.
+Alex Armstrong that's only because Voyager made them as threatening as cartoon villains. Villain decayy settled in. At least TNG and the First contact still left them a legitimate threat.
I love how Garek is standing there looking so smug over the corpse, and then looks genuinely offended when Qwark says "Awful". Like his skills have been intentionally insulted.
0:28 My favorite part of this scene is how affronted Garak looks when Quark doesn't like his assassination. Like, he probably spent years learning how to properly snap a person's neck with such ease, and he finally gets a chance to show off his skills and was just hoping someone would be impressed.
More than that, he had to learn multiple methods to snap necks! I'm sure that there are significant differences in anatomy that effect how you have to do it depending on the species of your victim.
You can actually see how pleased he is with himself and the sudden fall in his body language when Quark calls it "awful". Well played actor, well played.
They outdid themselves with Garak. In many ways he was better than the main cast. He was delightfully wicked, awful when needed but one of the most moral sound-boards around.
I would go far enough to say that Garak was the single best supporting character I’ve yet seen in a Star Trek series. He should have returned in another series like Worf or O’Brien.
Just finished S4E25. Garak made a surprisingly salient point. None of their lives matter much to the welfare of the entire alpha quadrant. He should have launched the quantum torpedoes on the Founders' homeworld right then and there. The Dominion would have been annihilated, and all it would have cost was a few officers. He's such a perfect reptilian mind.
*Years Later* Odo: Mr. Garak, I'd like to ask you about Quark. Garak: By all means. What is that mischievous friend up to? Odo: Apparently getting murdered. His quarters collapsed and his body was jettisoned into the vacuum of space as he slept. Perhaps you can share some light on this matter before the scans on his corpse verify the cause of death. Garak: My goodness. What a horrible way to go! Didn't see it coming! Or feel it! Or hear it or smell it! Just... *[snaps fingers]* Dead like that? Poor man must not have known what hit him. Odo: Hmmph!
@118026242970560954242 • Odo was actually one of the very few people who could tell whether Garak was lying or telling the truth. See: "Improbable Cause". Edit, 12.2022: the @ with numbers was the result of the TH-cam commenting system automatically making it so after I'd edited this comment. Before editing old comments, make sure you make a screenshot of the old version first, to see who you've originally replied to.
+Rob8729 With Klingon's, that's on a regular basis, either it be combat practice, poetry, or romance. "My boots are drenched in blood! And you want *me* to feel _romantic_?
And from then on, every time Garak passed through Quark's, or vice versa, he'd always greet the Ferengi with a friendly smile that's perhaps just a little too wide...
Its what defines DS9 as being different from the rest of Trek and its what made the show so good. You get to see the nuances of the universe through more than a single moral lens and you get to watch brilliant verbal duels between characters as they hash them out that don't just end with Picard ordering the other party to follow orders. My favourite scene in all of DS9 happens to also be bewteen these two characters, as they talk about the insidious nature of the Federation, comparing it to Root Beer, and then hoping in the end that they can save them.
Hey, that's my favourite scene too! It really drives home just why the Federation keeps expanding despite the combined best efforts of all its enemies. Complain as they do about the Federation being soft and weak and a corrupting influence on their proud societies, in the end everyone just prefers living in a safe, comfortable, "overly sweet" society.
@Robertson Thirdly Yes! Your favourite is great because its one of those things where Trek is turned on its head where instead of the alien representing some conspicuous darker element of human behavior its the alien observing the human as if the human behavior is the dark and perilous thing and in so doing makes a critical comment about ourselves. DS9 was great in this way, giving us the alien perspective on the humans.
The implication of Garak's list is that they've been sitting in the Holodeck doing this sort of thing for HOURS - Quark couldn't have smelled nerve gas and survived, meaning that he was probably judging his responses based on his Hologram's reactions while Garak repeatedly murdered him over and over. And as a Savvy Businessman I'm sure Quark keeps the "Kill Quark" Simulator available for paying customers with grievances - so they take it out on the Hologram and not him.
Mmmm... I would guess that the holodeck provides a smell analogue... almonds for cyanide is the only one I can remember, but there is a WW2 cartoon about how to recognise the various chemical weapon smell signatures.
Maybe the gas was simulated to only affect the hologram and not anyone actually alive? So they could still smell it without it hurting them. Holodecks do have safeties after all.
One unproduced episode was to have seen the crew go off on the Defiant with Odo, who then sneaks back to block a deal Quark is doing. Only Odo is so focused on Quark that Garak, Morn and Rom all pull off extra legal transactions with out him noticing.
Id say the lone exception was when the founder told him that the fleet with is father (and his people) were all dead. He composed himself but when she turned away, the look of unbridled anger and vengeance was second to none.
I always wondered if Garak ever really planned to go through with it. Petty assassination kind of seems beneath him. It almost seems more likely he was just having fun with Quark.
Of course garak was messing with him, if he actually thought quark wanted to really go through with it. He never would have left that Room alive the moment he asked him.
Only Garak could cooly talk about an assisted suicide in such a business-as-usual-like transaction, sell the person on the way he's going to kill them with them walking away with the promised hit-job a "satisfied customer"
Does Garak's list at 0:47 remind anyone else of Dorothy Parker's poem Resumé? Razors pain you; Rivers are damp; Acids stain you; And drugs cause cramp. Guns aren’t lawful; Nooses give; Gas smells awful; You might as well live.
Snaps neck quite professionally. Then tips the body so it goes face first into the plate of food simply for the flare. That is the difference between a serial killer and A hired assassin. Style.
@@chrismcqueen3920 Oh is that with Odo as the fake founder ?, hands Garak the Plasma rifle, Here what do you think ???, that Cardassian Cheshire grin........ th-cam.com/video/rQ_p7l37piY/w-d-xo.html
@@jaqenhghar2970 "We are the Borg. Your distinctiveness will be added to our own. You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile". Garak: "oh I don't think so" eyes on. Borg: Garak: Borg: Garak: I'm sorry, did I not make myself clear. I'm Elim Garak...wait, where did they go? That was just starting to get interesting. Oh well, back to hemming trousers. Odo: hmmph Sisko: *I gotta get me some of them pimp eyes to go with this pimp hand*
Well, by that time, Garak actually have too much on his hand to fulfill that contract (with the rebuild of Cardassia and all). It was a misdiagnose on the part of Quark afterall.
@@dyingearth I'm sure he would still take time for it, perhaps some random day a small package with an item Quark always wanted, and when he lifts it up there's a card that simply says "I never forget a promise - G" and the next instant Quark is in the treasury :)
They have a similar thing in Babylon 5. Moldary and G'kar are bitter enemies, and Moldary have a precognition that they will strangling each other to death. SPOILER SPOILER It actually happen, then Moldarys friend G'kar trying to mercy kill him, then he is under influence by a mind controlling parasit (Moldary would rather die, then be used agenst his frends) but the parasit take controll over Moldary, and Moldary and G'kar strangling each other to death.
"I don't want to see it coming! Or hear it! Or feel it, or smell it! I just wanna go on with my life and then *snap* I'm dead!" "Ah! *snap* You want to be surprised!" "Exactly! I want to wake up in the Divine Treasury and have no idea how I got there." "I see. Perhaps... that can be arranged." "... really?" "You have my word. You'll never know what hit you..." "*thinking* Ohh... crap, I really didn't think this through."
I cracked when Quark said the first sentence.." did you hear that sound of bone snapping?? he sounded so desperate and shocked.. I had hard time to breathe!!
It's the little jobs that pay the rent long enough to get the big jobs. Don't sniff at them yo! Besides I don't think Garak truly intends to kill Quark. He knows Quark doesn't really want to die.
I love how Garak actually goes through the process of demonstrating each of his kill methods to his client. Like one of those shop floor demonstration persons.
This is why I love Quark and Garak. They're just casually talking about ways to kill Quark and how he's picky about how he wants his death to be. The other scene where they compare The Federation to Root Beer is equally brilliant and they filmmed that because they feared the episode would be too short! Goes to show the commitment the makers of this show had for it.
Oh my in Star Trek Cardassians know how to handle suicidal People... "Can I help you." "Oh Garak...I want to die sometimes." "If you are sure of that come back and tell me how you want to die. I will arrange anything else. Have a good day." "But...why?" "Practice."
One can't stress enough what a fantastic job Andrew Robinson did. Even with all that make-up he gave the character so much... life sometimes only with a subtle change in the way he made Garak speak or how he looked. Kudos also to the screenwriters for giving us a character with so many layers. For leaving some thing in the shadow or only briefly and vaguely mentioning them only feeding the mystery of Elim Garak
Quark went through this too negatively... Garak should've suggested that Quark pick the things he *liked* about each scenario, instead of pointing out what was wrong with them: - Neck breaking: quick & relatively painless - Nerve gas: anesthetic - Hanging: preserves the body, no bleeding - Poison: comes in all varieties - Etc. Then, Garak could've used this "positive" information to design Quark's perfect death.
I love how Garak's face goes from a smiling 'I'm proud of my work' to a disappointed expression when Quark tells him 'Awful!'. Like someone telling you that you did a shitty job redesigning their kitchen cabinets.
That's what makes it funny though. Garak knows he just performed a flawless efficient expert kill that not only requires physical skill, but also knowledge of interspecies anatomy, and experience, and is about the gentlest way someone could go other than vaporization or a direct headshot, but Quark just calls it awful.
I have to admit I love this show and I own the complete series on DVD season 1-7. Ive only had it a year and i swear ive watched it all the way thru from seasons 1-7 at least twenty times. If you want humor. If you want action. If you want great characters and good acting. DS9 has it all.
Garak helped me get over a couple things growing up in the 90s. He helped me come to terms with the fact that I preferred well dressed, older, intelligent men than the girls my age I was supposed to like growing up in a religious home.
This was one of the funniest episodes of DS9. Putting Garak in the role of Quark's personal assassin was a stroke of genius. The scene where Quark is in his quarters, waiting for Garak to spring out and go all ninja on him, cracks me up every time I see it.
What I love best about this scene is the thought of an actor spending god knows how many hours having Ferengi makeup applied, only to spend all day with his face in a plate of scrambled eggs. Acting is a crazy job.
I can only imagine that Garak is like a kid on Christmas morning, running down the stairs to the living room in his pjs to open his presents. The possibilities of murdering Quark by surprise must be endless, but Garak only gets one opportunity and therefore he has to make it GOOOOOOOOOOD.
Oh man, the fact that he says "You have my word....you'll never know what hit you" with such....casual assuredness makes it all the more menacing. Far more so than if he'd been TRYING to be intimidating.
What I would have given to have watched that montage of all those rejected ways to die. Lol Plus, there should have been a scene with Bashir telling Garak he doesn't approve of him taking Quark's request and Garak saying he actually doesn't plan to to kill Quark at all but is enjoying him running around paranoid thinking it could happen at any moment.
TonesTheGeek yes! That would have been a great episode, just focus the entire episode on those two characters and the hilarious attempt at figuring out how to kill Quark
Garak: but it's gonna cost you, 10 times the amount!!!
Quark: *heart attack*
Garak: my job here is done!
This comment is so true and made me mentally laugh so much more then anything ive read in the last couple months!
garak: oh here my bill
quark: heart attack
garak : payment accepted
That's so prefect!
Quark" "But... I wasn't... Surprised.... Computer... Cancel transaction -- ugh!" (thud)
Brilliant!
I love how Garak says “you’ll never know what hit you.” I don’t think he ever had any intention of killing Quark, he was messing with him the whole time. I love Garak, he’s awesome.
Entierly possible. I mean why should Garak take the risk of getting caught by somone like Odo for murder? There was nothing to gain for him there.
@@Daniel-rd6st Not only that but it seems like an un-Garak thing to do. Murdering a high-profile neighbor that he spent considerable amount of time with just prior to his death? Sisko would definitely put the pieces together and Garak would have to spend the rest of his days in a holding cell. Sloppy work for a man who prides himself on secrecy. So yes, I think he was definitely just screwing with Quark. Who wouldn't screw with Quark if given the opportunity? Even Julian has lol.
Maybe Quark's corpse is What Garak Left Behind...😅
Garak probably spent the rest of the episode hemming pants, knowing that Quark was sweating bullets.
Garak probably went home, put his feet up, and read a book.
“For a man who wants to kill himself, your strangely determined to live.” Most underrated line right there 😂
Garak got some amazing lines and I can't imagine anyone else playing him other than Andrew Robinson.
Death is truly the most inconvenient thing in life.
This is a key line. It shows that Garak (professional assassin, torturer, and executioner) can tell that Quark genuinely doesn’t want to die. This explains why the plotline ends here.
"You want to be surprised?"
"Yes!"
Something tells me that was the wrong thing to say to a man like Elim Garak.
You mean an _artist_ like Elim Garak.
I believe what Garak will do is let old age kill him.
@@BlokenArrow I cannot deny that if I were Garak, I would 100% have had fun with Quark on this. Just engineer a few near-death experiences and then leave him a note saying "Don't worry, I'll get it eventually!" -Garak
@@RequiemPoete becareful what you wish for with Elim because he will deliver it LOL
Garek is messing with Quark big time. He knows Quark doesn't want to be killed and has no intention of completing the task.
After Garak says "Computer, remove corpse." I can imagine him thinking to himself 'Ah, if only it was always that easy.'
Most of the time Garak uses his phaser on maximum so there isn't a corpse. In this case Quark needs a corpse as he has already sold his vacuum desiccated remains to Brunt, in effect it's the merchandise.
The Order had micro transporters for when a body was needed, although live agents could use these. The signal was piggybacked on a com line so it was virtually untraceable.
I definitely heard that in his cheerfully sarcastic voice. xD
@@Djarra In the novel Federations, Picardd disposes of the artifact containing the villain's mind by ordering the transporter on "maximum range, maximum dispersal". Nothing says gone for good like having your constituent atoms scattered across kilometers of deep space. (The novel also had a memorable scene of the Picard destroying a Romulan Warbird by using the Enterprise's saucer section as a blade at warp velocity.)
Makes me think of the cleaner from La Femme Nikita having to come in with the acid in the bathtub.
@@kentvesser9484 Just make sure he is dead before you pour LOL!!!
"You have my word, you'll never know what hit you."
Scarier line than anything the Borg, or Dominion could come up with.
Immortalfire and with a smile... certainly more unsettling. At least you know when your imminent death is near with the others. Garak on the other hand is going to have fun making you wonder when.
+Adiraiju loled at this
+Alex Armstrong that's only because Voyager made them as threatening as cartoon villains. Villain decayy settled in. At least TNG and the First contact still left them a legitimate threat.
Garak could just borrow the Defiant or a runabout and fire a photon torpedo directly into Quarks bar.
And promptly get his silly ass locked up forever for doing something so mind-numbingly dangerous.
I love how Garek is standing there looking so smug over the corpse, and then looks genuinely offended when Qwark says "Awful". Like his skills have been intentionally insulted.
Bet he spent a lot of time studying the ways to break necks on different species that efficiently, that was serious pride in his work.
@@toobig7399 He might be a bit rusty though... he certainly took his time with the twist after he made the grab.
0:28 My favorite part of this scene is how affronted Garak looks when Quark doesn't like his assassination. Like, he probably spent years learning how to properly snap a person's neck with such ease, and he finally gets a chance to show off his skills and was just hoping someone would be impressed.
What's the point of having talents if you can't show them off?
More than that, he had to learn multiple methods to snap necks! I'm sure that there are significant differences in anatomy that effect how you have to do it depending on the species of your victim.
"it wasn't *that* loud" 🙂
You can actually see how pleased he is with himself and the sudden fall in his body language when Quark calls it "awful". Well played actor, well played.
That’s my reaction at work when I do pest control and after I kill all their wasps which was what they wanted the say to me “that’s it?”
They outdid themselves with Garak. In many ways he was better than the main cast. He was delightfully wicked, awful when needed but one of the most moral sound-boards around.
he was also a splash of cold water for the idealists of starfleet, who needed a more cynical viewpoint from time to time
I would go far enough to say that Garak was the single best supporting character I’ve yet seen in a Star Trek series. He should have returned in another series like Worf or O’Brien.
@@JimmySteller I have one great regret about Deep Space 9...
We never got to see how Garak and Q would interact with each other.
@@Mikanoes Garak should turn up in the new Star Trek series Picard!
Just finished S4E25. Garak made a surprisingly salient point. None of their lives matter much to the welfare of the entire alpha quadrant. He should have launched the quantum torpedoes on the Founders' homeworld right then and there. The Dominion would have been annihilated, and all it would have cost was a few officers. He's such a perfect reptilian mind.
*Years Later*
Odo: Mr. Garak, I'd like to ask you about Quark.
Garak: By all means. What is that mischievous friend up to?
Odo: Apparently getting murdered. His quarters collapsed and his body was jettisoned into the vacuum of space as he slept. Perhaps you can share some light on this matter before the scans on his corpse verify the cause of death.
Garak: My goodness. What a horrible way to go! Didn't see it coming! Or feel it! Or hear it or smell it! Just... *[snaps fingers]* Dead like that? Poor man must not have known what hit him.
Odo: Hmmph!
+V Guyver
top kek
*not have
+TheMaxGamer especially the "Hmmph!" XD
@118026242970560954242 • Odo was actually one of the very few people who could tell whether Garak was lying or telling the truth. See: "Improbable Cause".
Edit, 12.2022: the @ with numbers was the result of the TH-cam commenting system automatically making it so after I'd edited this comment. Before editing old comments, make sure you make a screenshot of the old version first, to see who you've originally replied to.
You're not the only one.
"Computer remove corpse"... Yeah, that's something you tell your computer everyday.
I tried it once, but all it did was show me advertisement for shovels.
It removed
I love that the food was removed with it!
+Rob8729 With Klingon's, that's on a regular basis, either it be combat practice, poetry, or romance. "My boots are drenched in blood! And you want *me* to feel _romantic_?
+Rob8729 Yeah, it's usually, "Computer remove search history"
Know what the strange thing is? Quark never tells Garek not to kill him at the end of this episode....
And from then on, every time Garak passed through Quark's, or vice versa, he'd always greet the Ferengi with a friendly smile that's perhaps just a little too wide...
I'm thinking Garak had something to do with Quarks vision of the Divine Treasury and people storing equipment in the bar.
I've noticed that too.
I always figured Garak knows everything even without being told.
_Especially_ without being told.
That too.
I love how later in this episode, Quark starts to become unglued, looking in every dark corner for Garak to jump out and go all ninja on him.
WTF computer I didn't say remove the plates.
La komputiloj estas inteligentegaj!
Well, at that point the corpse and the meal were pretty much inseparable.
Lol the eggs could be construed as a corpse
Nope, but Riker said it. ;)
You forget that computer at DS9 was Cardassian.
When the side characters are almost as good, if not better than the main cast... that's a great show!
Its what defines DS9 as being different from the rest of Trek and its what made the show so good. You get to see the nuances of the universe through more than a single moral lens and you get to watch brilliant verbal duels between characters as they hash them out that don't just end with Picard ordering the other party to follow orders.
My favourite scene in all of DS9 happens to also be bewteen these two characters, as they talk about the insidious nature of the Federation, comparing it to Root Beer, and then hoping in the end that they can save them.
Hey, that's my favourite scene too! It really drives home just why the Federation keeps expanding despite the combined best efforts of all its enemies. Complain as they do about the Federation being soft and weak and a corrupting influence on their proud societies, in the end everyone just prefers living in a safe, comfortable, "overly sweet" society.
Unlike all of Discovery.
@Robertson Thirdly Yes! Your favourite is great because its one of those things where Trek is turned on its head where instead of the alien representing some conspicuous darker element of human behavior its the alien observing the human as if the human behavior is the dark and perilous thing and in so doing makes a critical comment about ourselves.
DS9 was great in this way, giving us the alien perspective on the humans.
Or maybe the main characters are dull..
The implication of Garak's list is that they've been sitting in the Holodeck doing this sort of thing for HOURS - Quark couldn't have smelled nerve gas and survived, meaning that he was probably judging his responses based on his Hologram's reactions while Garak repeatedly murdered him over and over.
And as a Savvy Businessman I'm sure Quark keeps the "Kill Quark" Simulator available for paying customers with grievances - so they take it out on the Hologram and not him.
“In lieu of a refund, may I offer you an hour in the holodeck with the “Quark Demise” program?”
“… make it two and we have a deal.”
Carbon monoxide and carbon dioxide are odorless, colorless, and quite lethal. You go to sleep and never wake up.
Mmmm... I would guess that the holodeck provides a smell analogue... almonds for cyanide is the only one I can remember, but there is a WW2 cartoon about how to recognise the various chemical weapon smell signatures.
There were so many ways demonstrated by Garak that they had to make "Kill Quark: Volume 1" and "Volume 2".
Maybe the gas was simulated to only affect the hologram and not anyone actually alive? So they could still smell it without it hurting them. Holodecks do have safeties after all.
There really should have been an episode with Quark, Odo and Garak taking a long shuttle trip together.
And maybe Bashir.
One unproduced episode was to have seen the crew go off on the Defiant with Odo, who then sneaks back to block a deal Quark is doing. Only Odo is so focused on Quark that Garak, Morn and Rom all pull off extra legal transactions with out him noticing.
@@Djarra now that episode I would have loved to have seen
Well The Ascent featured Quark and Odo.
It wouldn't be very long. For Quark, at least...
I like how the music was in on it, too.
"Oh my God, he just killed Quark!......oh, there he is."
I like to imagine Garak added it into the simulation to give it some dramatic effect...
@@ddark89
Garak: "It's from one of Earth's ancient composers. Someone named Dennis McCarthy."
Quark: "Take it out. I hate it."
They killed Kenny! Wait, wrong show
@@surfingthechaos”if I hear the musical sting, I’ll know it’s coming!”
@@edschramm6757 "You bastard!" 😁
I dunno why, but the fact Quark was enjoying his food so much made this scene perfect :)
Xalgucennia His “last meal.”
"Computer: Increase favorable reaction to food by... 45%"
Exactly how I wanna go out
His proverbial last meal so to speak ?
what is he eating in this scene?
"You have my word. You'll never know what hit you." The most terrifying that Garak has ever been.
"I'm not a tailor. Not for the moment, anyway."
"I'm going to enjoy this."
Was it because he was honest?
Id say the lone exception was when the founder told him that the fleet with is father (and his people) were all dead. He composed himself but when she turned away, the look of unbridled anger and vengeance was second to none.
I always wondered if Garak ever really planned to go through with it. Petty assassination kind of seems beneath him. It almost seems more likely he was just having fun with Quark.
Michael Gonzales Garak was quite trollish like that
Of course garak was messing with him, if he actually thought quark wanted to really go through with it. He never would have left that Room alive the moment he asked him.
@Matthew Caughey I don't think anyone even Garak would be able to withstand the Adama Glare
Killing is just like any other skill...you need to keep practincing.
@Matthew Caughey way too many people for poker
Quark then died in his sleep peacefully due to old age. Garak kept his promise, he never saw it coming.
That smug/pleased look on Garak's face as he is admiring his own work on holoQuark is priceless, it makes me crack up every time i see it.
.... old comment but ... ... ... *BADUMNSS TSSSSS*
Only Garak could cooly talk about an assisted suicide in such a business-as-usual-like transaction, sell the person on the way he's going to kill them with them walking away with the promised hit-job a "satisfied customer"
Does Garak's list at 0:47 remind anyone else of Dorothy Parker's poem Resumé?
Razors pain you;
Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you;
And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren’t lawful;
Nooses give;
Gas smells awful;
You might as well live.
saphorr that sounds so sinister. lol
I can see the actor reading this poem one day and vowing that "someday, I will work this into one of my roles."
Cue Elim Garak.
My thoughts exactly 👍
I think I read somewhere that it was a deliberate reference.
I'm sure it's even better in the original Cardassian.
"You have my word. You'll never know what hit you."
One of the few times you can trust Garak at his word.
For a man who lies as a lifestyle choice, this was one of the few times I would place money on him actually being entirely honest.
Snaps neck quite professionally. Then tips the body so it goes face first into the plate of food simply for the flare.
That is the difference between a serial killer and A hired assassin.
Style.
I don't think Garak ever looked more Cardassian than in this scene.
+scarred child There's another one, where Quark and Garak are discussing the Federation over root beer (that human drink).
Also in a later episode towards the very end when Garek is handed a plasma rifle to “inspect” goes into insta kill mode
@@chrismcqueen3920 Oh is that with Odo as the fake founder ?, hands Garak the Plasma rifle, Here what do you think ???, that Cardassian Cheshire grin........
th-cam.com/video/rQ_p7l37piY/w-d-xo.html
“The nerve gas ‘smelled bad’.” That always cracked me up.
Garak was my favourite character in DS9.
He kept even the worst episodes he was in bearable. If only TNG & Voyager had such characters
i dont even like DS9, but Garak was very well done
Marcus Hicks He's a great example of a breakthrough character since his role only got bigger overtime.
Wow, Donovan, I did not know that :).
Kinda makes me want to go back & watch Dirty Harry again
I love the flourish Garak puts on the neck snapping at the very end. The classiest way I've ever seen someone snap a neck.
"Perhaps that can be arranged."
More terrifying than that crappy Borg one liner, if you ask me.
crappy?!
"You have my word...you'll never know what hit you," was more terrifying and that tone and...THOSE EYES!
THOSE EYES THOSE EYES
For crying out loud, the man tortured and broke personnel trained to withstand it *by looking* at them
agreed. The Borg were overrated. Garak was the prime shit. He could take out the entire collective if he wanted to!
@@jaqenhghar2970 "We are the Borg. Your distinctiveness will be added to our own. You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile".
Garak: "oh I don't think so" eyes on.
Borg:
Garak:
Borg:
Garak: I'm sorry, did I not make myself clear. I'm Elim Garak...wait, where did they go? That was just starting to get interesting. Oh well, back to hemming trousers.
Odo: hmmph
Sisko: *I gotta get me some of them pimp eyes to go with this pimp hand*
I like how Garak looks at the corpse so proud of himself, like: "Oh yeah, I'm really good"
and stuck the landing,
smirk
I love the irritation in his voice when he lists the rejected death methods, especially "The knife was too *savage* !"
That and "hanging took too long" 😂
Legend has it... even after the series finale of DS9, Garak hasn't forgotten his promise here and will kill Quark when he leasts expects it.
Well, by that time, Garak actually have too much on his hand to fulfill that contract (with the rebuild of Cardassia and all). It was a misdiagnose on the part of Quark afterall.
@@dyingearth I'm sure he would still take time for it, perhaps some random day a small package with an item Quark always wanted, and when he lifts it up there's a card that simply says "I never forget a promise - G" and the next instant Quark is in the treasury :)
more then likely Garak chose not to do it and let Quark live his life. Since life is all about living until you suddenly die.
@@dyingearth cause that is exactly what he wants quark to think
They have a similar thing in Babylon 5. Moldary and G'kar are bitter enemies, and Moldary have a precognition that they will strangling each other to death.
SPOILER
SPOILER
It actually happen, then Moldarys friend G'kar trying to mercy kill him, then he is under influence by a mind controlling parasit (Moldary would rather die, then be used agenst his frends) but the parasit take controll over Moldary, and Moldary and G'kar strangling each other to death.
"I don't want to see it coming! Or hear it! Or feel it, or smell it! I just wanna go on with my life and then *snap* I'm dead!"
"Ah! *snap* You want to be surprised!"
"Exactly! I want to wake up in the Divine Treasury and have no idea how I got there."
"I see. Perhaps... that can be arranged."
"... really?"
"You have my word. You'll never know what hit you..."
"*thinking* Ohh... crap, I really didn't think this through."
His face exactly!
Nothing more frightening than Garak giving you his word, especially when it is about killing you...
@@quoniam426 surprised picaku face
@@glezard212 the Star Trek version of
"Omai wamou, shinderu"
@@davecrupel2817 😂
That little push at the end to shove Quark into his food was hilarious
I cracked when Quark said the first sentence.." did you hear that sound of bone snapping?? he sounded so desperate and shocked.. I had hard time to breathe!!
It's gotta suck for an assassin of Garak's skill and reputation having to audition for the chance to kill one stinking bartender.
Especially when the person he's auditioning to is THE SAME BARTENDER!
Exactly. That whole video is like watching Mozart playing in a hotel bar
A bad hotel bar, like a sketchy hotel piano bar
It's the little jobs that pay the rent long enough to get the big jobs. Don't sniff at them yo! Besides I don't think Garak truly intends to kill Quark. He knows Quark doesn't really want to die.
Even assassins can't get away from annoying demanding customers!
"You'll never know what hit you..."
That positive attitude he has just makes this scarier.
1:29 Never tell a former member of the Obsidian Order you want to be surprised, you may just get your wish.
I love how Garak actually goes through the process of demonstrating each of his kill methods to his client. Like one of those shop floor demonstration persons.
Ferangi speak in business. And he wasn't getting fitted.
The rhythmic way Garak speaks his sentences really reminds me of George Carlin. Anyone else feel that?
Yes!
The thing is, Garak knew he didn't want to die and his words at the end were about his actual death.
This is why I love Quark and Garak. They're just casually talking about ways to kill Quark and how he's picky about how he wants his death to be.
The other scene where they compare The Federation to Root Beer is equally brilliant and they filmmed that because they feared the episode would be too short! Goes to show the commitment the makers of this show had for it.
Apparently the two of them ran lines alot together, it's why their scenes together were always so good
Don't tell a former member of the Obsidian Order that you want your death to be a "surprise" LOL
Oh my in Star Trek Cardassians know how to handle suicidal People...
"Can I help you."
"Oh Garak...I want to die sometimes."
"If you are sure of that come back and tell me how you want to die. I will arrange anything else. Have a good day."
"But...why?"
"Practice."
And all with that scary-merry smile on his face.
That is wonderful. Perfectly fits the character.
Garak: "Computer, remove corpse."
*Standing Quark vanishes, leaving the dead quark behind*
Garak: "... oops..."
One can't stress enough what a fantastic job Andrew Robinson did.
Even with all that make-up he gave the character so much... life sometimes only with a subtle change in the way he made Garak speak or how he looked.
Kudos also to the screenwriters for giving us a character with so many layers. For leaving some thing in the shadow or only briefly and vaguely mentioning them only feeding the mystery of Elim Garak
And Robinson is claustrophobic just like Garak. He's more psychologically uncomfortable than physically uncomfortable in the costume.
Haha. "The nerve gas smelled bad."
+tf2whackyengineer "I don't want to see it coming! Or feel it! Or hear it or smell it!"
Yes, it was a comical episode.
Indeed it was ghenulo. If they really wanted to be silly, they should have had Quark say that he wanted the nerve gas to be "silent, but deadly."
should've used carbon monoxide.
@@windhelmguard5295 Odorless AND colorless! Hello, Mr. Plinkett
Garak by far was the most entertaining character on DS9 :3 so ingeniously insidious but in a friendly way :P
macFuz Just like the Federation.
@@ultimazillarex1076 just like root beer
Quark went through this too negatively... Garak should've suggested that Quark pick the things he *liked* about each scenario, instead of pointing out what was wrong with them:
- Neck breaking: quick & relatively painless
- Nerve gas: anesthetic
- Hanging: preserves the body, no bleeding
- Poison: comes in all varieties
- Etc.
Then, Garak could've used this "positive" information to design Quark's perfect death.
"Computer, remove corpse."
this is a cardassian station after all ;)
@@TheVergile I can hear that in Garak's voice.
My Alexa: I don't see coffee on your shopping list. 🤔
I think I peed a little while laughing at this. "You don't have these ears. Snapping vertebrae is out!"
Good episode. Garak was always one of my favorite Star Trek characters ever.
Lucky for ds9 the producers managed to cast the same actor who played the first dirty Harry villain for this role.
It's been said that Garak was called Scorpio a serial killer in an alternate dimension
I see what you did there...
*_"Jesus... wept..."_*
"Some say,......."
Who said anything about an alternative dimension? He was on assignment......
"You know Odo, you remind me of a police officer I once tangled with named Harry. The same sense of humor anyway."
I love how Garak's face goes from a smiling 'I'm proud of my work' to a disappointed expression when Quark tells him 'Awful!'.
Like someone telling you that you did a shitty job redesigning their kitchen cabinets.
Both of these characters were wayyyy underrated
Love Garak's expression. Completely pleased with himself.
Garak's face at 0:30 is priceless. Nobody's ever told him that he was awful at killing someone.
That's what makes it funny though. Garak knows he just performed a flawless efficient expert kill that not only requires physical skill, but also knowledge of interspecies anatomy, and experience, and is about the gentlest way someone could go other than vaporization or a direct headshot, but Quark just calls it awful.
Quark: I want to not see it coming
Garek: Challenge Accepted
unappreciated till 20 years later. Thanks Discovery, for opening my eyes.
"Computer, remove corpse" is still a favorite line of mine, taken out of context of course
The most terrifying use of the word ‘Surprised’ , ever.
I have to admit I love this show and I own the complete series on DVD season 1-7. Ive only had it a year and i swear ive watched it all the way thru from seasons 1-7 at least twenty times. If you want humor. If you want action. If you want great characters and good acting. DS9 has it all.
Nerve gas smells bad lollll
I love Garak. He's such an underrated character!
Garak: If you are dissatisfied with the manner of your death, I’ll give you a full refund. Oh wait…
Garak helped me get over a couple things growing up in the 90s. He helped me come to terms with the fact that I preferred well dressed, older, intelligent men than the girls my age I was supposed to like growing up in a religious home.
This was one of the funniest episodes of DS9. Putting Garak in the role of Quark's personal assassin was a stroke of genius. The scene where Quark is in his quarters, waiting for Garak to spring out and go all ninja on him, cracks me up every time I see it.
The surety in Garak's voice is what put that scared look on Quark's usually implacable face.
I've never been more afraid of Garak as when he leaned forward and said, "You have my word." The look in his eyes gave me chills.
Oh my god, Garak. You wear those shades of gray so well.
I think Garak was more interested in the idea of killing Quark than actually doing it. Just planning the job was enough for him.
It would not be looked on kindly by their mutual friends... he was just trolling him at this point
Ah... the golden age of Star Trek...
My favourite 2 characters in the series.
I love the way Garek looks after saying, "How's that?" I almost expect Garek to go, "Ta Da!" Like a magician who has just done a trick..
Garak: You never know what hit you
Quark: *living in terror from then on, every second of every day*
Garek is messing with Quark big time. He knows Quark doesn't want to be killed and has no intention of completing the task.
Garak is one of the most enjoyable characters in this series
1:22
"Ah! _snap_ You want to be surprised!"
Just imagine how different the show would have been if Andrew Robinson had been cast as Odo as planned
Wait, _what???_
What I love best about this scene is the thought of an actor spending god knows how many hours having Ferengi makeup applied, only to spend all day with his face in a plate of scrambled eggs. Acting is a crazy job.
I totally love DS9 it's amazing
Omg that “You have my word, you’ll never know what hit you.” and that look chills
I can only imagine that Garak is like a kid on Christmas morning, running down the stairs to the living room in his pjs to open his presents. The possibilities of murdering Quark by surprise must be endless, but Garak only gets one opportunity and therefore he has to make it GOOOOOOOOOOD.
Oh man, the fact that he says "You have my word....you'll never know what hit you" with such....casual assuredness makes it all the more menacing. Far more so than if he'd been TRYING to be intimidating.
Oh.
Well.
That was terrifying.
There is something special about this scene. It takes skill to take assisted suicide/murder and make it side splitting hilarity.
"it wasn't THAT loud."
I absolutely love Garak
2 best DS9 characters.
"Snapping vertebra is out!"
Oh my, Quark. Careful what you wish for - a surprise from Garak would be.... something!
oh Quark, thats easy. Just charter an Oberth-Class.
@Yuki BabaYaga If you REALLY need to die in a hurry, there's always the Talon class. Tiny, with shields like tissue.
Or wear a red shirt...
My two favorite DS9 characters.
I think the episode really needed a part at the end where Quark remembers the deal, and frantically tries to find Garak to tell him not to kill him.
What I would have given to have watched that montage of all those rejected ways to die. Lol
Plus, there should have been a scene with Bashir telling Garak he doesn't approve of him taking Quark's request and Garak saying he actually doesn't plan to to kill Quark at all but is enjoying him running around paranoid thinking it could happen at any moment.
TonesTheGeek yes! That would have been a great episode, just focus the entire episode on those two characters and the hilarious attempt at figuring out how to kill Quark
I just imagined a dumb ways to die parody
"The disruptor ruined your clothing!" best line! Still i think out of all the options that would have been the best one.
Garak the killing smile 😂