Protect these men at all costs. We love you, dads 😂 Have a good Father’s Day everybody. And BIG thanks to my friends on Insta for your funny suggestions! You help me make these way funnier than they would normally be 🙏
My dad when I was younger before he passed away: "did you win your pokemens yet? Catch them all?" Apparently pokemens is plural for pokemon, according to my dad.
LOL! My dad calls them "pokey mans" and literally any cartoon/anime/game I've ever played since then is "Pokey Man". His mind was blown when Pokemon Go came out and I finally said "yes, it's pokey man". lol
Psssh, holding the flashlight wrong ain't nothing. One time my dad told me to hold the flashlight then he told me grab a screwdriver on the other side of the room and then yelled at me for not holding the flashlight. Like wtf am I supposed to do in that situation. It's a lose lose.
0:32 "[insert name] wake up, hey, I need you to get up and get changed because we need to go to the [insert random location 5 miles out of town]." The amount of sleep I've missed out on because of that damn 5am dump trip...
Yes! Or, "I'm tired." 'Oh, nice to meet you Tired. My name is . . .' "I'm thirsty." 'I don't think I named you Thirsty. I clearly remember naming you . . .' Lol.
You forgot Midwestern dads when it's time to go. * Slaps thighs* WELP it's about time. *Pushes himself up with hands that are still on legs after slapping them. *
Once I asked my dad if he would like to drive some of my classmates and I to a city 7 hours away from us for a school trip. His response was “can I bring my gun?” Out of all the things he could’ve said he came up with that amazing sentence.
my teacher in year six used to point at the board with his middle finger and he was this kinda eccentric british guy who was a total nerd and seemed to be able to go on long scientific rants about every subject ever and made us do crazy fitness programs so it was really just the straw that broke the camel's back when he flipped us off while teaching
"*WE* need to go to the dump" seriously dad, stop dragging me to places where i'll have almost nothing to do and you'll complain about me being on my phone.
What about whenever dads (or any guy really) ties something down in the back of a pickup truck, they have the inescapable urge to say: *"That's not going anywhere"*
not my dad literally the other day. "have you won yet?" "no, dad, it's not a game you 'win'. even when you finish every quest you can start again with new characters which brings new dialogue options and new playstyles and finishing that one quest that was broken on your last playthrough, and that's not even touching mods, thousands upon thousands of dungeons and quests and creatures all available for free and hours of new content. I couldn't win this game if it took me a lifetime." "then what's the point?" "to have fun." "I still don't get it." "whatever"
Omg the first one is too accurate... My dad will be like “touch my biceps” and I will and he will be like “You okay? Are your fingers broken? I am made of pure steel 😎💪”
Lol I’m seventeen and I’m past forgetting the purpose I was sent into a room for. I now forget everything (I was going to write more than “everything,” such as a list, but I forgot what I was going to write down in the list lol)
@@fenixchief7 If one really has iron deficiency already, only eating meat is not enough. You cant get enough iron from that to get through anemia or deficiency. You need supplements Anyway.
"Come on, come to Home Depot with me. It'll be fun! We'll talk, we'll bond; it'll be great, come on." My dad takes me to Costco every other Friday night for "Daddy Daughter Night Out." It's r e a l.
I love how my father randomly sings some songs from the times he was 20 years old and always tells me a bunch of funny stories or jokes to laugh together.
Step 1: Put asmr in the title Step 2: start slowly whispering for a couple minutes Step 3: scream very loudly into the microphone Step 4: dont forget the 10 ads throughout the video
Dads are awesome! I lost mine 10 years ago and I still miss him a lot. I guess my dad was different though. The only familiar thing I heard was "I'm very disappointed in you". He was a very positive dude as a general rule.
Protect these men at all costs. We love you, dads 😂 Have a good Father’s Day everybody.
And BIG thanks to my friends on Insta for your funny suggestions! You help me make these way funnier than they would normally be 🙏
hey
yessir
Shabang
Yaegaers
Absolutely.....
Does your father know the meaning of oyfum?
When he looked into the camera and said “I’m very disappointed in you” I felt that
Oof
“Honey, it’s either the dump, or me.”
**edges towards garbage truck**
What is dump?
@@masters-senpai7657 u
@@masters-senpai7657 nah jk its a place where you through shit u dont need or want
*e d g e s*
Damn bro you must REALLY like garbage trucks
Lol garbage truck?! Dad doesn't use garbage trucks! He uses his own truck
My dad would wake me up to say “get some rest, honey”
Lmaaao
Hmmm great idea
I'm dead
lol, my mom would wake me up to tell me its time for bed
lmfao
The using the middle finger to scroll through the phone just proves the artistry of these skits.
LITERALLY
The hell I am I almost always use my thumb
@@cyberavenger8668 are you even dad?
the artistry. the elegance.
Yeah.
Dads love saying "how much?!" when the hear the price of anything above five bucks
nah in my country
*a dollar chocolate is way too expensive* 👁👄👁
Nothing but the truth.
stxgmaa dude where you live??
@@yarabdlh truee
stxgmaa sameeee
Dads be making SOUNDS for literally no reason, constantly
true..even in their sleep, for me at least
@@SnowMenAtWork same 😔
You don't understand! It feels good, it's honestly like magic, every action becomes twice as easy and fun when you use the right spell for it.
That’s how I knew my husband would make a great dad 😂
I always thought this was cause my dad was partially deaf when I was younger, but nope, just regular dad noise
I like how the title is just one Dad. Our one omnipresent singular dad.
Lea I think you mean God
Yeah god
Maybe he plays his own dad.
This comment has me fking rolling omg.
Why does this not have more likes. ;(
“ *You’re complaining about Walking to School* ? Back in my day - we Didn’t have LEGS!”
Lmao
Wait what it was at 37 now 42
@@freshdan4663 what was?
When I was your age we weren't able to afford legs...
i got 17 blocks to get to school and my uncle admitted he never even had to walk that far
U forgot the grunting and murmuring to himself while he reads texts or goes on a laptop
you have 420 likes and I like this but I cantttt
@@elibodybutter3553 respecttttt
Hgfhfgg pretty much
😂😂💯
Yuh truth
Im just waiting for "I'm not mad just disappointed"
Nah, thats a mom thing
Next video: Things mom says
@Monica Creator nah my dad always says that-
Didn't come. I'm not mad, just disappointed.
That seems like a partner thing to say imo but idk.
You missed when he straps something down and says “That’s not going anywhere.”
Omg 😂
and when he shakes the straps a bit to show you they are, in fact, working
Yeeeez
Haha yesss
All of these are basically my mom
My dad when I was younger before he passed away: "did you win your pokemens yet? Catch them all?" Apparently pokemens is plural for pokemon, according to my dad.
Sorry for your loss.
He sounds like he was adorable lol
That crap is the most wholesome thing I've seen in a while 🥰
LOL! My dad calls them "pokey mans" and literally any cartoon/anime/game I've ever played since then is "Pokey Man".
His mind was blown when Pokemon Go came out and I finally said "yes, it's pokey man". lol
Aww 🥰
My dad didn’t go to the store to buy milk. He went to the dump and then never came back.
I’m thinking we round up a group of exceptionally trained volunteers and exact a rescue mission. Meet me at Home Depot for further planning.
@@rayofsunshine6300 I'll join to bring the search dogs. Heh
Don't worry- he's trash. Hahaha! Wait- what- what's happening?
It's a trick, send no reply
Mine went to go take a dump
“DON’T TOUCH THE THERMOSTAT!”
"DON'T TOUCH THAT THERMOSTAT UNLESS YOU WANT ME TO GET MY BELT!"
Assassinmaster
FOOKIN AINT IT
Assassinmaster
Why the hell did i spell it like that?
@@ghst-vl8co I dunno
o k a y Mr Crabs
You forgot the “uh huh, mmhmm, yeah” without retaining anything you’re saying.
That's moms.
:P
@@LaurenInesRuiz It's both
@@bladehunter1097 loll
Thats just anybody who's tired of your drama most likely.
@@LaurenInesRuiz the truth
Me, a vegetarian: kinda cold in here huh?
My dad: ItS CUs U DoNT gET enOuGh PROTEIN
Lmaooo my dad does the same😂😂
Oh my god finally a vegetarian and not a dumb vegan
Ds Production Nah, I’m here.
@@sadsworth4605 bruh calm down drinking oat milk doesn't mean you suddenly are an idiot
LOL goddamn it
"come on, let's go to Home Depot together"
It's a trap, he's really taking you to the dump
You forgot: "it builds character" whenever doing outdoor work with him
Fuck this is SO true 😂 my dad says this all the time
Also "rub some dirt on it" or "why do I hear tears without seeing blood?"
My dad doesn't say stuff like this. This is something I would say :)
*y e s*
What about, "Close the refrigerator door! That costs money!!!"
Take a picture, it lasts longer!
my dad has been telling me this for the past 20 years of my life
“Are ya winning, son?”
Me trapping all the villagers in one house before burning it down:
*Yes*
...you know that video too
I’ll be playing a game, and my dad will be like “are you ever gonna win that game????”
“Dad, it wasn’t your fault. The accident happened 3 years ago. You have to let me go.”
Yes da-oh right i don't have a dad...
*WAIT*
Don't forget the face when a dad hears his daughter mention one male name in a conversation
Which one is that? Is it a mix of confusion, suspension, and anger?
Some of y'all have never been shouted at for holding the flashlight the wrong way and it shows
my god I thought I was the only one
For real😂😂😂😂
Psssh, holding the flashlight wrong ain't nothing. One time my dad told me to hold the flashlight then he told me grab a screwdriver on the other side of the room and then yelled at me for not holding the flashlight. Like wtf am I supposed to do in that situation. It's a lose lose.
Oh my god that happens so much
You're not alone, comrade
"I'm not alright, I'm half left"
I snorted lol
Took me some time to get it😂
"you need to have a steak"
That is 100% my dad lmao
"Are you tired?" "Have a steak"
"Are you feeling sick" "steak"
What are you doing on TH-cam? You should be eating your steak
@@DrDolan2000 facts
That like my dad but instead of a steak it’s him telling me “well that’s because you haven’t done anything” (by anything he means physical activity).
but like... have you ever had a good steak?
My grandpa does this to my mom and aunt. They are vegan/vegetarian XD
0:32 "[insert name] wake up, hey, I need you to get up and get changed because we need to go to the [insert random location 5 miles out of town]."
The amount of sleep I've missed out on because of that damn 5am dump trip...
Is dump a playground?
What is a "dump trip"?
@@ashm003 a trip to the dump
“Wake up, we gotta go to the dump” gave me flashbacks I did not want
I need more information about the DUMP
@@LV-ni3qs JASON, THE DUMP IS CALLING
I dont actually get the "we need to go to the dump" part
awesome productionz oh you lucky soul
@@unkind_grape9077 wait can you explain pleasee ;w;
“I would do completely rid of it if I would’ve.”
Me too man, me too.
mhm
I had a stroke reading this
You forgot about hoarding everything after thirty years of not touching any of it.
That is absolutely Graenolf's dad. Took me that long to get him to rent a dumpster.
Then your mom complains and he wakes you up at 6AM on a Saturday to take it all to the dump
@@nicolasa.3192 But then say he forgot he still had this.
Exactly like my dad. I wish you could see my garage
That was my grandpa not my dad
You forgot the dad noises as they sit down
Why is “Dad noises” so descriptive
BUT DID YOU READ THE BOOK JACKSON?!?!?!
You mean *AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH*
SoshJam lmao you made me laugh thanks ;)
*aggressive grunting*
"I'm hungry" "Hi hungry nice to meet you" - every dad and child at one point
I'm a mom and I do this all the time by habit because of my dad. 😂
Yes! Or, "I'm tired." 'Oh, nice to meet you Tired. My name is . . .'
"I'm thirsty." 'I don't think I named you Thirsty. I clearly remember naming you . . .' Lol.
yes
The fact that this is called “things dad says” instead of “things dads say” is strangely unsettling
we all share one (1) dad
@@emmy-ci5cl hello, my fellow birth sharer
Emma Hipwell thats why I never see mine
@@mrtoxic593 he prob couldnt find the milk
Ali Fauzi nahh I saw him get beat up in front of me by my brothers trying to protect my brother that’s a minor
Your tears were the most genuine when you cried with your father beside you at the kitCHEN TABLE DOING MATHS
I always cried when I had to do them with my mom... xdd
I can't believe this is a universal experience. I thought I was the only one who cried while trying to learn math with my Dad.
@@linkfan160 same haha
Same but with my mom instead
Graenolf’s dad literally made him go to the dump one time and he makes this video...
“Go ask your mom” “dad she’s in another house, you guys are divorced”
Did I stutter?
Yanden Gray dammit I was going to say the same thing
PixelPikachu
Lmao
Watching this coz I don’t have a dad 😌✌️
Loll
My dad walked in while I was watching this and advocated for every scene
Nice
Best dad ever
That's just great.😁
My dad left to buy cigarettes and he never came back.
Emerald-kun My dad just straight up left because he doesn’t make excuses
Omfg the "dont touch the thermometer" talk is so my dad😂😂😂
Sorry to be that guy but.. thermostat
@@jasmineryelle3472 oh yes, my mistake. Thanks for the reminder that I cant spell😂😂
So in a nutshell: The Dump
meet me there. Big plans we need to discuss.
@@Graenolf WHAT IS SO IMPORTANT THAT YOU NEED TO WAKE ME UP AT 5AM TO GO TO THE DUMP DAD >:(
@@silkyxcore5497 I like men
You forgot Midwestern dads when it's time to go.
* Slaps thighs* WELP it's about time. *Pushes himself up with hands that are still on legs after slapping them. *
THIS 😂
Why is that so fucken accurate it’s scary
same for british dads
*slaps thighs*
"rIGHT"
i feel called out
That's universal. :DDD
Once I asked my dad if he would like to drive some of my classmates and I to a city 7 hours away from us for a school trip. His response was “can I bring my gun?” Out of all the things he could’ve said he came up with that amazing sentence.
Depending on where you're going that's a reasonable question. Crossing state lines, venue location etc. I concealed carry all the time.
@@Kromsmitesyou we live in Canada.
@@wintershock My condolences.
@@Kromsmitesyou Beautiful response, dude
"Sarah, feel this."
Me, real name being Sarah: Is uncomfortable
me too 😂 I was like what
Ok, sarah
Same 😂
ayyy love the username
I have a cousin named Sara she can relate, I can't.
“I would have done that too.”
I’ve heard that so many times.
Oyfum
Lol
Oyfum
Oyfum
Oyfum
I’m 20 years old girl and I officially announce that I’m a DAD
wait. That's Illegal
Hi DAD I'm Dad!
@@catshark0076 hi a DAD*
@@IndyLaLune @catshark007 hi dads I’m dad
Hi dad I'm hungry
The “what do you want, MONEY. Why are you being so nice to me?” is totally my dad all the time lol 😂
when he said the iron steak thing and i recently got diagnosed with anemia and my dads reaction was “eat some meat” i felt that
Smart man
The "Let's rock and roll!" part is too accurate
These sticks are not gONNA MOVE THEMSELVES
Big ass rocks for me
Firewood for me
@Allison Gammon Are tumbleweeds heavy?
Beds.....I have a lot of siblings.....
Diamonds for me 🤓
first day of school i'm gonna get myself into trouble just so my teacher has to arrange a meeting with my father so that i could finally see him again
this is kinda dark.... especially the fact that it has like 30 likes without context aka answers..
Seth Colby you are everywhere
That last part threw me off.
@@lottaigmirinqae8419 god sake it was just a joke jeez calm down
@@themarvelboy3818 Um..she was pretty calm... Maybe you should calm down a little..
“we need to go to the dump. Jason don’t make that face!” 😂
The "5 more minutes" when he was cooking food killed me. Literally waited 4 hours once for something I could have made in 20 minutes
This is weirdly wholesome
I feel like the dump thing is coming from his personal experience
*_big dump boi_*
MY DAD ACTUALLY USES HIS MIDDLE FINGER TO SCROLL ON HIS PHONE I- DCDKIEJNWJFWJBS
my teacher in year six used to point at the board with his middle finger and he was this kinda eccentric british guy who was a total nerd and seemed to be able to go on long scientific rants about every subject ever and made us do crazy fitness programs so it was really just the straw that broke the camel's back when he flipped us off while teaching
My mom does while dad uses his index finger and for some reASON DOESNT USEHIS HEADPHONES AND LET IT BLAST
My mom used to do that Lmfaoo
Me to🤣
My mom does that lol
"Are you winning son?"
But where was that “ Are ya winning son?”
He said did you win skyrim
My name's Sarah and whenever you say "Sarah" it's really weird-
SARAH! TAKE THAT THING OFF YOUR HEAD!!
I keep using your name in videos oops.
-SARAH..&,!/&/&, dm
@@MasonStevens9863 But it's a thing everyone has now, you can't force me to take it off!!
My name is sara so same
Username checks out
"*WE* need to go to the dump"
seriously dad, stop dragging me to places where i'll have almost nothing to do and you'll complain about me being on my phone.
What about whenever dads (or any guy really) ties something down in the back of a pickup truck, they have the inescapable urge to say:
*"That's not going anywhere"*
Lol my dad does that EVERY TIME
who's dad?
Oh my god that's so dark
Oh wow I'm subbed to you
I can't remember...
last thing I heard from my dad was “hey son I’m going to go get the milk”
Last thing I heard from my dad was "Goodnight."
He went to work before I got up
The awkward acoustic in the background makes this perfect lol
1:43 I have a feeling he is my dad because that sneeze is 110% accurate
*sees two flags
“tHiS iS a gOoD nEiGhBoRhOoD”
aka white neighborhood 💅🏼💅🏼
Lavan Volkov lmaoo no I meant that’s what they really mean when they say “this is a good neighborhood”.
@@leiahtaurus7549 yeah right
@@baileylightfoot only white ppl hang flags come on
Sub Bot False, Patriots hang flags, met people of other color that do.
Graenolf: "wow the world's best dad coffee mug... That's really special"
Me: " I know right it's the same one we got you last year😊😁"
It's also such a lie
Let me EXPLAIN something to you
“Did you win Skyrim yet?”
Never heard the same sentence so many times
not my dad literally the other day.
"have you won yet?"
"no, dad, it's not a game you 'win'. even when you finish every quest you can start again with new characters which brings new dialogue options and new playstyles and finishing that one quest that was broken on your last playthrough, and that's not even touching mods, thousands upon thousands of dungeons and quests and creatures all available for free and hours of new content. I couldn't win this game if it took me a lifetime."
"then what's the point?"
"to have fun."
"I still don't get it."
"whatever"
My dad: *scrolls with his middle finger*
My mom: *scrolls with pinky finger*
Me: why do you do the things you do
memento mori
WE DONT HAVE A THUMB FOR NOTHING!!
@@andyo3637 chuuni?
Shit sorry. That's Dekomori nvm
Whenever I asked my dad where we were going he said “crazy”, I now understand
Where do dad's get these jokes? My dad still says this. I never knew where we are going!
"Feel this. Touch it. Touch it." Can be taken so out of context.
"dont be funny, take it off"
What are you doing stepbro
@@finn2828 It would have cost zero dollars to not say that
HORRORS OF SOVIET RUSSIA WILL BE REPEATED JACKSON GO INFORM YOURSELF.
As someone named Jackson, it made me double take😅
Made dad would say this to me at least once every week
Omg the first one is too accurate...
My dad will be like “touch my biceps” and I will and he will be like “You okay? Are your fingers broken? I am made of pure steel 😎💪”
THE EMOJIS😭😭😭😭😭
"I forgot why I came in this room"
Me a freshman in high school: why did I come in this room again?
yep. 21 y.o. here - this will only get worse.
Being that old isn't fun, lemme tell ya
Ardemion N'Akat I bet
Congratulations you're a father
Ya im in 8th grade and im starting to walk into rooms for know reason at all.
Lol I’m seventeen and I’m past forgetting the purpose I was sent into a room for. I now forget everything (I was going to write more than “everything,” such as a list, but I forgot what I was going to write down in the list lol)
Okay but actually “Sarah” could be iron deficient and it sounds like she needs some supplements. 😂
How did you know?
@@sarahf.6113 😂
@@sarahf.6113 😂😂😂 Sarah do u
Well Rachel, she could also eat a fucking steak instead of taking supplements.
@@fenixchief7 If one really has iron deficiency already, only eating meat is not enough. You cant get enough iron from that to get through anemia or deficiency. You need supplements Anyway.
I was waiting for the “hey wanna go to Home Depot with me?” On a Sunday morning feeling the breeze looking at the trees.
The bit where he says "Why am I in this video? Oh wait-" took me a second to get it
I still don’t get it, help me out
I don’t get it😫
Nvm I got it
Shae Fox it’s a joke that mean graenolf is a dad I think
underrated joke
"The dump is calling to us.."
God so true..
My dad hasn’t come back from the store yet it’s been 10 years
Well the queue must be long
trafffffffic sucks amirite
@@Graenolf But wouldn't quarantine create an opening?
@@mostmagicpickle7135 nah, they have line ups in the stores, people giving up on waiting and leaving can cause traffic
@@Graenolf Is amirite a rare crystal?
"Come on, come to Home Depot with me. It'll be fun! We'll talk, we'll bond; it'll be great, come on."
My dad takes me to Costco every other Friday night for "Daddy Daughter Night Out."
It's r e a l.
This makes me appreciate my dad so much more. He's great.
I was waiting for, “I think your shorts are too short Sarah”-
Why is it that dads think “layering up” makes it warmer. It’s my hands feet and nose that are cold DAD so now I’m just cold with heavier clothes
My dad is a boomer, he doesn’t realize it’s not a compliment when I say “okie dokie boomer”
"Oh hey I like bombing things!"
@@eldoron5541 noooo
If he is one that’s not an insult to him.
My parents are boomers too.
Eldron a boomer refers to the baby boomer generation it has nothing to do with bombs.
You forgot "Don't eat anything! I'm making dinner!" or is that just my dad?
No bevause he never cooks he orders or buys McDonald's
Only yours
Both my parents
Uhm... anyone think he looks like Dwight and Jim’s love child...
🤣
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
yaas
Omlll
Kristina Armantrout now I can’t unsee this
Whenever I said "I'm thirsty" my dad would say "I'm Friday, let's grab Saturday and go get a Sunday."
Great video Zaddy
how has nobody seen this comment before???
We just need 61 more likes.
"I'm gonna get milk from the store"
I can't relate to that, cuz he left before i can even remember
Shiz bro sorry
Me: “We live in this house too, can you stop yelling at mum please?”
Dad: “WHY DON’T YOU JUST MOVE OUT.”
Well..that took a dark turn
Wow, we really all got the same dad, huh?
Oh, also:
*Oyfum*
Yep😂
Oyfum
Oyfum??
Oyfum
Graenolf has the ability to tear up and weep on command, and I think that's too much power for one man to possess.
I love how my father randomly sings some songs from the times he was 20 years old and always tells me a bunch of funny stories or jokes to laugh together.
You missed the classic “hey *insert daughter name* your jeans have holes in them, didn’t know if you knew”
ah so this is what having a dad is like dam I missed out
that sneeze part physically hurt me XD so relatable
"ready to rock n roll"
Watching this so I can simulate what it's like having a normal relationship with a dad ✨
The work put into these videos is just 10/10
Your voice is so calming...you should try and do audio books... or satire ASMR...😂
Step 1: Put asmr in the title
Step 2: start slowly whispering for a couple minutes
Step 3: scream very loudly into the microphone
Step 4: dont forget the 10 ads throughout the video
JASON! JASON! **heavy rain intensifies**
Scrolled down for this
Dads are awesome! I lost mine 10 years ago and I still miss him a lot. I guess my dad was different though. The only familiar thing I heard was "I'm very disappointed in you". He was a very positive dude as a general rule.
Dad: *giant wheezing cough that sounds like a bear sneezing*