The Curse That Accompanies The Narcissistic Way Of LIfe
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 3 ต.ค. 2024
- Ultimately, narcissists maintain a way of life that will lead to destruction and dysfunction, guaranteed. Dr. Les Carter describes how the narcissistic pattern is under a curse leading to a bad ending. Your task is to see it for what it is so you will not experience the fallout that will accompany their misguided ways.
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The sad truth is the better you know a narcissist the more likely you will be abused. A stranger on the street will be treated better than a spouse.
❤❤🎉🎉🎉🎉they sick need mental hospitals
Or their own child.
Tamtam, Linda, CTSCAPER
These are sick puppies
Faxx 😊
I told my narc husband all the time"treat me like you treat people at church, the ones you want to impress"
It is a curse. And the most loving thing I can do is to let them experience the full consequences of their behavior.
It's also "poetic justice"
But unfortunately the majority of them never ever learn from the consequences. They don’t think they do anything wrong. You can’t learn if you’re not willing to be introspective or acknowledge faults and flaws.
@@gmcconcord I understand this fully well. After a few confrontations this becomes apparent. My next action to leave is not to punish them or to force them to change, but for my own sake since I acknowledge that they will not be held accountable.
😂😂 exactly
They have to live with a constant sense of dissatisfaction from the moment they wake up each morning, everyday of their lives. Nothing is ever enough. Contentment is an alien concept to narcissists.
Yes. While wearing the mask of being in perfect contentment always whenever out and about in public. Never enough properties. Never enough pets. Never enough vehicles. Never enough of anything.
👍
Well said, total killjoys
yes
It's so sad.. But I'm leaving.. 9 years and it took me 8 to figure out what was going on.. Lots of prayer and resurach 🙏💖💪💙🙏
It's very difficult living around people who complain about everything and everyone, and when you look at them and they way they live, they are much worse than the people they complain about. They fail to realise once you get intimately involved with them, they can't keep up the facade they show to the rest of the world.
So true!!!!! I am living this with my mom at this time. The house is so toxic and I will be discussing with her Dr about home health options and just moving on.
Very true; good point!
The narcissist always gets themself in trouble fighting with someone they all end up getting arrested eventually.
I can relate. He comes home and complains about all the "idiots"at work and I am stuck listening to this at dinner. I told them "surely not everyone at work can be idiots". Of course the dont want to hear that.
@@laurengarrett9005
Girl -- Logic is NOT part of the narcs world.
Trying to reason w/them - exercise in futility.
the hardest thing is how they project everything onto you, for example they're being argumentative but they blame YOU and then you are argumentative, everything about living with them in an absolute nightmare.
Yes they are impossible human beings !.....He lied, cheated, and exploited my kindness.. then blamed ME for ruining the relationship when I left, and refused to keep "working on things with him.
Dr. Carter does a video on this; they're basically projecting what their unconscious is telling them that they're doing to others, but because they have to avoid criticism at all cost, they just throw that thought at you as if it's a rotten apple they were tricked into picking up.
Once I realized this I stopped taking their criticisms personally and realized they were just trying to live with their own guilt.
Now, I look forward to the projection because it means they're sitting in their feelings and know they did something wrong, but can't handle it. Much more impactful than the closed-off mindset of not caring they normally do.
My response to mine when he complained about everyone in his life .... it seems to me that the only common denominator in all these relationships is YOU.
@Ben Tyreman yes it’s absolutely maddening isn’t it? 🙌
My sister is like that. I neutralize her by not going for the bate....ditto for my bf......I am depressed today just because I no longer feel joy in my life.
They end up paying a high price of loneliness, alienation and neglect from those they hurt and push away.
My biological "father" is a Malignant narcissist and I can confirm that KARMA catches these people we just have to get out of the way
Get the popcorn out
Wish I could give you 100 thumbs up. 👍
Oddly when my mom finally left my biological father who was the same. He was brilliantly smart (mechanically) when he threatened her for leaving, saying; “I’ll make sure you and the girls eat beans the rest of your life”, she replied with, “My greatest fear for you, is that they’ll peel you off of the side of a road someday” (he was an alcoholic), fast forward 20 plus years. He’s living in a garage, and then we get a call from across the nation (we’d moved far away). He’d died as the truck he was in was hit but another drunk driver and he was dying on the side of the highway. Sad, but true story. Never lived a good life. Freaked my mom out after she’d said that exact thing to him. Sad.
I can't wait to see Karma catches to her one day.
@@denisguay4315 don’t wish people wrong.
They suffer, even though it may seem that they don't. They never get to experience true peace, Love or intimacy. Living a life chasing your 'next fix' isn't much of a life at all. Addiction doesn't run in my family, it gallops. I'm a recovering addict so I understand the hamster wheel they're on. If they dealt with their addiction to Control & Power I believe things would/could improve. Can't heal what you won't acknowledge.
I heard a pro at this say that people get to choose what to do with their addictions. You chose to acknowledge and heal.
Rates of addictions are rising and so you are not alone in that sort of thing.
Yeah. When we wake up to our own “addiction”, then we can take the necessary steps to heal ourselves.
It feels great to know that we are doing the work, even though others appear unable to save themselves!
The addiction may not even be drugs or alcohol but seemingly harmless things. My husband switches addictions (Video games, phone, football, hunting, fishing, etc) whatever catches his fancy or someone in his life thinks is cool. It has done irreparable damage over the past 25 years. He missed out on so much of our son's lives because of them. It is sad but that is what was modeled to him by his dad. It runs rampant in his family and I believe they are actually cursed. I am trying to break that with my almost grown sons.
Exactly. We have to be able to see how we are inside. They just can't or won't. Sad
They take the life out of you I call them soul suckers
Yes, I called my Mother a Vampire. All my blood, gone.
Perfect description
*NARCULA*
Even if they get everything they want, they're still not content. Nothing is ever enough to fill the black hole of negativity that is their soul.
Exactly.
When my 86 year old narcissistic Mother died, I never shed a tear. I felt so guilty for that for the longest time. After finding out about narcissistic abuse, I discovered WHY I had never cried because she was dead: she never raised me to LOVE her. She only raised me to FEAR her. She bought it on herself that she didn’t make an effort to elicit love or caring from me. We cannot fake feelings that we do not feel. I am striving to now live an Authentic Life by being in Team Healthy.💖😁. Thank you Dr. Carter.👏🏻👏🏻
They get worse with age. My ex is a narcissist sociopath. They run out of good people they get a name, tagged. They end up with like minded people, the end
Greetings from southcentral Texas USA 🇺🇸, Nortb America, Western Hemisphere
Greetings: ( USA 🇺🇸) : btw : the presentation is outstanding: again, the presentation is outstanding
Greetings: ( USA 🇺🇸) : btw : wishing you a blessed happy wonderful day: Love ❤️: Enormous Hug 🤗/ be very, very , very safe and , in thanksgiving: GOD BLess
They do end up with other narcissists working togetherin communities trying to prey on the unsuspecting. Eventually they do a "geographical cure" to a new location with "fresh supply" - horrible.
@@JessicaJLandi omg you are EXACTLY RIGHT. Mine left the city and moved nearer to my sister. A cutting of ties, motivated I believe by at being found out.
I have learned to NEVER confuse brief moments of perceived love "mixed up" with a long term Narcissistic personality! They are just moments followed by long term abuse!
Little moments to keep us hanging on!!
@Mike, those brief moments kept me in a marriage for 24 years. Couldnt break away. I finally have but now I am broken in pieces.
Trying to get there too!
.... Truth. I discovered that with Covert Narcissists... they do want to mix up " perceived love" ( from them) with their own Narcissistic ways and that's how they entrap you..... it's a web of deciet and " stories " designed to get that supply ......
@@sanjmalik6282 I stayed with a narc bitch for 4 months because of "those moments" and I already feel guilty for standing with her for that long, now 24 years? I would absolutely kill myself after 6 fucking months.
Stay strong and much love to anyone living with or trying to get away from their control.
Thank you. I'm trying to get out. Finding an apartment is impossible right now. My tolerance level for the drama and trauma is at "0" :) TY
Thank you Thalia, this is tricky for sure
@@VgVi13 ugh yes
grateful for encouragement
Trying to save these people is like grabbing a bucket at the titanic and thinking that's gonna work.
Lol. If you put your hand out them drowning and said take my hand. They'd say don't tell me what to do and sink. Morons
I love this
More like grabbing barbell.
So true. When I gave my ex parents in law advice how to save loan rates they lost much money because they were not able to accept advice from me. This would have challenged their "divinity". They knew they paid too much and it made them unhappy but taking advice would have made them even more unhappy. It really is a curse.
@@sma5559 yep, the holier than thou types, absolute worst. Listening to what you have to say for them equals to being wrong and "how could I be wrong I've always been right". The dunning Kruger effect is strong with them.
I’m 68. Growing up with a narcissistic mother, sister and brother (Dad was chill) hurt me everyday. Then recently I’ve had to divorce, if you will, my girlfriend from high school (50 yrs we’d been friends). The commonality? Narcissists never get to honestly and deeply relax. Their minds are constantly preparing for every possible dilemma, confrontation, situation, and how, if it doesn’t come to them, how to create one.
My goodness. How tired they all must have been or are today. Thank God for Dad.
That's good you had your dad , i had similar but father brother and Stepmom absolute nightmare , hope your in a better place 🥰
High five! This is a world of new beginnings. Seems to start with heartbreak and education.
@@sage9836 - Well said.
@@sage9836 you stated that perfectly for all of us.
Very true - my ex wife was never loosing selfcontrol - she refused to drink so she would not say something she didn't want. By way before marriage she enjoyed as others. Her loughing and expression - never full, always half . Asking her any vital agreement I always got "I do not know" with such inside looking eyes . Future prooven that after such answer came to me prosecution by law (that I "damage our house") which can lead to punishment by exmission After divorce next 20 years are best part of my life but would I know it without having before narcist wife ?
Usually you get what you put out. For a Narcissists, it’s like a horrible domino effect of negativity. Narcissists being so negative causes their life to attract more negativity toward them. It’s very sad. A tragic cycle. A lot them can’t seem to understand that. Definitely a curse! Nice video!
Hmmm. Plenty of Narcissistic professors, CEO’s and hospital consultants walking around who have flying monkeys supporting them, who have big salaries and all their needs in fact met.
Exactly, Brainy Logic! I went through stages… “look what you’re doing to me…” “look what you’re doing to us…” to finally… “you’re doing this to yourself.” The narcissist shoots themselves in the foot when they aim at you because you seem so far beneath them (in their minds) and then, they want you to help tend to that wound so that you’ll get so close to them that they can plum blame you for their self inflicted injuries. It’s insanity, it's Madness, Chaos and it's nonsense. When the narcissist finally wakes up and sees their madness for what it really is, it becomes a curse they've put onto themselves. I'm taking back my power to be ME and to make my own decisions and my own choices whilst being responsible for me and me alone. I'm thinking about my strengths (as well as my authentic weaknesses) and it has allowed me to see a curse (or joke) that is all on the narcissist. Their pride will keep them crippled by this curse forever because they refuse to be enlightened or encouraged by people who are “beneath them.” St. Matthew 13.18. Well, freedom looks good from where I am and I actually have the freedom to soar however I respectfully try to please my audiences. Thx for another sense making video, Dr.C. My youngest graduated college this weekend (woohoo!) so i had to miss the past few live chats. Love to #teamhealthy and not forgetting Gus your dog, I always so like seeing him in your videos. 😁🦮🥩
My mother would be so mean to me, then at church or work she'd get it. Nowhere near how she treated me & she'd be so butthurt & express her narc injuries all day.
"Narcissists have Psychological stench like they haven't bathed and don't know how bad they smell". That is great imagery. K ; )
@@bodaciousbethany0 I always wondered do narcissistic people feel guilt ever after destroying someone? Then I found they only feel anger and you know don't feel anything more. One thing we'll find with cerebral psychopaths or sociopaths is an addiction to entertainment, the television, intellectual state or national competitions in which they excel so we might ask how someone with an IQ of 180 could be so mean to a child. Well ... they see the child as an extension of themselves and if your mother was mean to you, had to be that you weren't that A grade school pupil. You were a receptacle of your mother's shame at your classwork, a little know all know nothing Dunce, with a white cone hat.
They create their own prison and don't even know it.
Maybe the curse that accompanies them is they have to keep looking for what is valuable in life, but don't know what that is.
Themselves
They're always having to check which side they're 'dealing from' & forget the Lies. Either way it's always deceptive. A LIE!
Yep, I've been in Shock awhile and didn't come into this unknowing. But beware ya'll, it is Immensely Bizarre, Threatening & Criminal.
(there were 3)
I am exhausted & trying desperately to 'finish' a probate.
A Psychological 'stinch' ~ nicely stated!
A lil bit longer now.
Lord Jesus be with All of US
Cannot bear "ego death ". The only essence besides the spiritual , that Anyone and everyone can enjoy.
If only weren't so afraid of death , might learn to LIVE and in doing so add to the light in the world.
@@siyaindagulag. Ego death - it's so rough. I get why people avoid it! It's a personal apocalypse.
@@sage9836 true that !
Experiencing it as a small child, often and repeatedly can really knock the assertiveness out of ya . The npd then abandons/discards, leaving society to pick up pieces.
Oh yeah ,evil exists ......but not through me .ever.
The humility of conscious , honest self-reflection is healthy .
The boot -on -the-neck, from a narcissist is not. Not even for them .
My narcissist husband is 78 and I observe him living in his own world. You are so right...he has no concept of normal interactions.
They truly are miserable. They seem to have fleeting satisfaction at a situation they think benefits them (fresh supply), but never have peace or joy or love. They leave destruction & misery for their targets in their wake, but at least their victims can heal and have joy, peace, and a sense of well-being again in time.
The reason I like that movie Cruel Intentions filmed in 1999 is because all the narcissist end up getting trashed in the end and the victim won. Too bad it can't always be that way in real life. It's been that way for me but probably not for most here.
That's it. The lasting feeling of happiness or accomplishment that comes with something good just doesn't stick around.
When you build your reality around everyone being out to get you, or hating you, or avoiding you, that comes up every time something good happens. They can't share it with anyone and the feeling dies.
Peace, love, and joy are the most important things in life. If you don't have those, you got nuthin'.
@@kimberlyadams1300 That's probably why I chose to not get married in southern California. The divorce rate in Orange County, California is 82%. That would ruin me financially to be divorced with kids. That would destroy my peace and joy.
@@rwdchannel2901 money can't buy happiness but poverty can absolutely ensure misery
A kind man benefits himself .But the cruel person brings trouble on himself. Proverbs 11:17.
Yes, it is a curse, their behaviour gets worse as they get older, almost comical. If you ever saw an 80 year old toddler having a tantrum, that's what I saw, yet those around her took it seriously.
Wow, your comment reminded me my ex-girlfriend... a covert narc ...said her mother was so nasty to the Hotel staff none of them wanted to serve her and I kept wondering if she got a lot of this entitled, selfish behavior and lack of empathy from her Pa. I think there are definitely some nature and nurture issues going on with her straight from Papa!! You know ... this behavior is largely genetic, says Doctor Park Dietz, founder and head of both the forensic consulting firm of Park Dietz & Associates and the first company devoted to workplace misconduct mitigation, with the Threat Assessment Group, headquartered in Newport Beach, California. In 2009, Security Magazine ranked Dr. Dietz among the “Top 25 Most Influential People in the Security Industry” In 2010, he was awarded the “Seymour Pollack Award for Distinguished Contributions to Education in Forensic Psychiatry” by the American Academy of Psychiatry and the Law. In 2014, Biography.com listed Dr. Dietz among the 10 most famous psychiatrists in history.
Same here. My 80 year-old narc literally face-planted on her bed and loudly boo-hooed wha-wha-ed when the conversation was about to expose something she'd done. The enabling spouse rushed into the room and indignantly shooed me out, assuming it was my bad. He believed any outrageous thing she said by that stage. Another time she really hammed up the victim act, whimpering and cuddling up to him, telling made up stories right in front of me, to get me into trouble. It was unbelievable. She was never that blatant when she was younger. It was all behind the back in those days.
@@michelepascoe6068 If one doesn’t want to feel shame; then STOP doing shameful things, putting others down in order to make themselves feel better. Nothing is ever good enough; they always want more. Revisited the N.EX & she said: “You were the great love of my life.” Then she elaborated on all the all the things I DID FOR HER! Narcissist’s song: The Great Pretender - poor gal. Karma (you know that idea that nobody escapes with ill-gotten gains) gets the narcissist back for us, it plum gets them in their Achilles Heal and all we have to do is wait with baited breath. Never fails, if we wait long enough, divine justice will be served, guaranteed!
@@keplermission4947 it's so sad. If only they could've seen the value and freedom of honesty and being able to laugh at oneself, apologise to others wronged and learn from mistakes. But instead they just add another layer of distorted cover-up and tell you you don't remember right. And you're still not good enough.
Surely you must be speaking of my mother....oh, probably not....my mother is 86years old, not 80 (UNbelievable that they still have the energy at their age to be cruel, vindictive, and toxic, right?)......And, yes, the tantrums get worse, but when one is able to overcome the unbelievable control it can have on one's life, walking away from an 86year old woman having a tantrum(who is absolutely in her right mind and has no iota of dementia) may almost be cathartic. And how pitiful are those who remain submissive to the behavior. . . . .
I just cannot understand the cruelty. He said the most hurtful, awful, horrible things to me. That I have no value, all I did was mooch for 30 years off of him even though I was raising our six kids. So many things. I still cry over this. I want to heal.
What a piece of work! 🤗🤗🤗
They say things you cant even imagine to their own children simultaneously claiming they love them.
I wonder how you are doing now
Looking back at some of the customers i had when doing residential hvac i now recall the number of elderly people that i would encounter that would talk about not having any of their kids or grandkids come around. Later in my career i found the same thing with some of the reseidents in retirement homes. At the time i would feel sorry for them and question why any child would do that to a parent. Here i am now years later and having learned so much about narcisism and other personality disorders that leaves me to wonder just how many of those elderly people had alienated themselves fron the rest of their family because of one of these personality disorders.
I have had to point out to some of the people that had spoken to me about my ex and would say things like "she was always so charming, i never imagined she would do the things she done," with my responce being "yes, and jeffery dahlmer was charming up to the point he was having them for dinner."
The post WW2 generation in Germany is deep into narcissism, including my own parents. Greed, stupidity and loss of reality combined crashes EVERY family.
Proverbs 1:31 "Therefore shall they eat of the fruit of their own way, and be filled with their own devices."
@@Corinna_Schuett_GER something else that came to light right after WW2 is "Stockholm Syndrome" which in todays language is trauma bonding.
I do agree with you on the mentality that is nurtured in that country. I remember a sociology prefessor telling us that the unofficial motto of Germany is "its because of (fill in the blank) that i am or do what i do"
You are very correct in your assumption. In nursing homes we deal with a TON of toxic old people whose family wants nothing to do with them. In NYC, this is why we get paid ALOT. My job has been such a bless from God because I can see the messed up traits in them and have learned to not take it personal. Also learned to document and report, because once the higher ups are aware they can not claim ignorance, which is what most people do when they don't want to be bothered. Firm boundaries and prepare to keep accurate records.
@@jloggy7643 That is when ten proverbs proof that they save whole humanity. When people do not want to to align, they excuse themself by finding someone being same or worse and it obviously has no bottom.
That's perceptive of you because I hear of doctors and other health-care workers who see old people whose kids don't visit. The parents call the kids rotten but the doctors aren't fooled. This happened with both my personality-disordered parents--their kids and others were so sick of their crap that by the time they die everyone has disappeared or is glad to see them go.
It's sad...my husband is a narcissist and he misses out on the simple joys of life. This is an alien landscape for them.
The narcissist builds their own curses I believe and because of that,they invite evil onto their lives.That evil they invite in will inevitably affect us who stick with them .My advice is....Don't allow evil into your life.Get rid of it ASAP
I think the are mentally disturbed 💯It is pure Evil what they do to others and there is absolutely NO EXCUSE !! All we can do is pray for their souls🙏
"I don't want to be your supply." So I'm breaking the supply chain, as of now.
That's a supply chain that needs to be broken!
We all love Gus! He is a good dog. He deserves to sleep all day. That's the life 👍💜💚 thank you Dr C
Gus has an easy life.
The callousness is shocking. It can actually produce cognitive dissonance and denial in the victim because it contradicts the mask and hoovering.
This video describes the narcissist best most accurately.
The curse? The curse is they have no spirituality at all. They're like spiritual gremlins.
DEMONS
Stench and putrid. What wonderful words to describe the curse of a narcissist!
Thank you Dr C and Gus for being there, even if he's just snoozing 😊
hmmm Ive always thought the narcissist friend I had was rotting from the inside out. and I was grossed out by her. Little did I know she was a narcissist until she decided to extend the silent treatment. Oh Thank God!! the best thing that happened in my life. I didn't like it in the beginning but happy now!
Haint
💩= Stench Stench = 💩
💯 spot on - putrid and sewage
The Bible talks about a person themselves falling into the pit they dug for someone else
Any scripture to reference ?
Psalm 7:15
@@michaelbergeron1554 Also the book of Esther. Haman, the villian, was hung on the scaffold he built for Esther's Uncle (Cousin?) Mordecai and their fellow Jews to hang from.
@@chrissyheiss1820 Thanks
They love to crush happiness. They get a high on watching perceived enemies suffer, even their own children.
Don't tell the narcissist what you feel, what your plans for the day are, or your dreams. Don't do that. I know I should not and still it happens I tell abt me. But you never get anything back. They never tell y o u about themselves.They fill you up with emptyness and negative feelings. Because that's what they are - empty. Another day could be destroyed.Leave them!
There's a few things I have noticed that may give away their disorder and give warning to well adjusted folks. Their creepy laugh - sounds forced and fake. Almost everything they do is some sort of "show" or "display". They are unnatural. To the regular folk with empathy this might wave a red warning flag. I wish health and happiness to all and hope for a way out to those who have to deal with narcissists and their ugly behaviour. Super grateful to Dr C. for for your generosity and advice.
Thanks for that tip. My least favorite supervisor has that loud fake laugh.Before her promotion, being one of us "blue collars", she cut corners and didn't follow the rules that she now enforces.
Trashing others. Stuck in their own negativity. Cursed. Yes, this is what they are and do. Encouraging others. Remaining positive. Blessed and blessing others. Great insights to help us contrast how we will be remembered. Dr. Carter thank you so much for confirming 👍who they are so we can stay healthy !
Yes! Narcissists may not "attach" in the way healthy people do, but they certainly glom. I'm reminded of the face-sucker creatures from the movie Alien.
🤣 !
Yep! Good analogy!
They're more like one of those Dementor things from Harry Potter, they just suck all the joy and optimism out of everyone around them and leave despair and disgust everywhere they go...
😂 😂 😂
My big sister narc is like a Venus fly trap. But I'm not kidding
My ex was diagnosed Cluster B with narcissism, histrionics, and anti-social traits. He always reminded me of a "hungry ghost." Totally agree he is cursed.
The only problem is that is appears that many people don’t detect the “stench”..
My best friend smelled the smell while I was dating the narc who would become my ex husband. Unfortunately she had a history of being very judgemental so I dismissed her warnings. With age, both of us are wiser. The narc however continues in the same way.
With some you do. To me, the stench, is after time spent you resolve to either limit exposure to some or none at all bc you know on an intuitive level, it’s in your best interest to limit or avoid altogether.
Theyre cursed in their inability to change.
My experience shows me that narcissists think there's God's way, evil's way, and their way. And they choose their way, not realizing that there's only two ways - there is no their way. It's evil's way. Yes, and it becomes a trap because they won't go to God for help...because they can't admit that they need help or have done anything wrong.
Yeah I watched my ex narcissistic boyfriend mentally unravel. He really had the god complex but I don't believe he went to God to ask for help he just lived in his head and lived out everything that his wicked mind told him especially about me. I became his enemy without my permission when 3 months prior to him discarding me I thought we were the best of friends. I am so fortunate that I tuned into Dr C and team healthy because I did not understand what had happened. But all the questions I have are being answered through all the stories that I read through all Dr Carter's videos. At least now I know what all of that toxic behavior was all about. I am in such a grateful place. And I am so glad that he is gone. It has been one year I have no desire to even know anything about him
So true! My narc won't have anything to do with a God that does not do things the way she thinks He should. "I want nothing to do with a God who does/doesn't do X, Y or Z." Wow! Absolutely no humility or ability to acknowledge that she may not be the arbiter of all truth.
I had a mother-in-law and her mother, "my grandmother-in-law", that were both narcs. Over the first 20 years of my marriage, I was the target of their jealousy. They were mad because they could not come to terms with the fact that they were not FIRST in my husbands affections. They were jealous because I had certain things that they didn't. Boy, did we ever witness some very outlandish, ridiculous behavior at almost every visit. I took the abuse because my husband was very close with my father-in-law. It was for his sake we had not cut ties sooner. He had been the victim of these two narcissist women for 42 years. When he died, my husband cut ties with those two. We have had peace ever since. Now, those two have passed on but, I watched as others in the family removed themselves from the toxic duo. Those that stayed in the relationship wound up using and abusing alcohol and drugs. My brother in law has lost his mind to alcohol abuse.
Zero dignity or integrity. Zero. Never do they learn or evolve- never. Contempt is a mild word for them. Look in their eyes. Blank filled w hate especially w age. Lie like crazy and just cannot handle truth. Period. Very sad individuals
This is so on the mark. I’ve watched my husband change from when I met him when he was 15 until now and he is 68. It is very sad.
It seems that narcists are rised very early. But in young days , when they are engaged with friends and love affair, they hide it very succesfully, only few their behaviours may rise doubts. . With years pasing by they are more and more strong to show behaviour and also last general society changes make it easier for them to excuse. What was unforgetable before is excused often now as "freedom" . That is why this problem has rised form margin to all around
@@Mikexception Yes, that makes a lot of sense.
@@sthomas4103 When they are looking for gains over all around they explain it also "that is just only my way of life - hedonism" They do not know hedonism but treating people around right. Those whom they use against nearest person are manipulated too so they live in world of their victims
What was unforgettable before is now excused and recognised as "freedom". You're correct, this is so true👍But what a terrible lie thecworld now entertains. In Holy Scriptures Isaiah 5:20 says "Woe onto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter". Matthew 12:36 But l tell you on the day of judgement people will have to give an accounting for every careless or useless word they speak. Unfortunately these individuals choose to ONLY BELIEVE their own truth which are delusional lies. The only way out of living an ongoing (SINFUL) selfish, life is to believe that Jesus Christ (the sinless God man) who died for all of mankind's sin, paying our sin debt with His own precious blood on the cross, so that we could be set free from sins control over our lives. Meaning 'whoever' calls on the name of the Lord Will be saved (from the coming judgment) Joel 2:32 Jesus summed it up in one verse. "I am the way, the truth, and and the life. No one comes onto the Father except through Me" John 14:6. All of mans questions are answered in this verse. Jesus is the answer for the 🌎 today. He's also the answer for the peace and healing of those of us who suffered, & or maybe suffering still & don't know the way forward. Its a difficult road, He can be your refuge & strength. Cry out to Him, open His Word & He will speak to & comfort your ❤ if you will cast all your cares on Him, for He cares for you. He can help you to move on He can give you a new heart full of His love, peace, strength & remove the pain. It's an ongoing, progressive walk🚶♀️you're never alone with Jesus by your side. He's the friend that sticks closer than a brother. As you wake He'll always be there ready to take you through whatever the day may bring 🙏
This video makes me think about a quote I wrote here some time ago..
"If by any chance you get caught in my web, I can make your life a living hell. But remember this, I am caught in that web too. The difference between you and me - you can get out".
I really like that quote. Says it all. I am out.
Thank you for the reminder. 🙏
From Sweden with love 💕
I love this!! I love it!!
It is rather sad. All that rage, anger, belittling, ingratitude and humiliation of others… basically means no one wants to be with them. Looking in the mirror each morning… I guess they feel alone and a failure… miserable and unloved… but they just can’t accept it’s their own doing. So sad…
Psychological stench describes it perfectly. Sad that anyone could go that low and become that horrid and not even realize it. Our only emotion toward them should be pity.
Better still, no feeling towards them at all. When you get that first whiff back off slowly and steadily until it's safe to turn and run like hell.
Oh this is SO true! So much of their angst is brought on by them! And then they complain when others react - they call it "disrespectful". No, it's actually others putting down boundaries!
@Bushra S Right? They are so predictable in their responses.
I seem to need a reminder of what Narcs are and how I am NOT being UNREASONABLE to set boundaries.
No shame in that, have to do the exact same thing everyday, whatever works and helps us! ☺
Right--don't be a dummy like I was and let everything damage you for decades. Put your foot down right away.
Gus is simply not interested in this conversation..😊 so cute
He slept through another one!
I never doubted that this kind of curse existed for them, but I used to feel so bad for them because of it. For instance, my dad told me once that he cries himself to sleep. And my mom loudly does the same. I felt really guilty for setting boundaries and trying to move on to anything good without them.
But the other part of the story finally sunk in over the last year.... like you said, they reach a point in their narcissism where they can only find happiness in the suffering of others. If you try to bring any peace of joy to them, they won't care. They only get joy by destroying others.
And there's nothing you can do with that. I guess accepting the ugly truth of how sadistic they are helped me start moving on without the guilt.
'Sadistic' is a good word for it!
They are very devious and hurtful people. No personality.
“Constantly annoyed and criticizing of others” - a BIG YUP!
Mine moved on to this very nice woman who always puts others first and is a nurturer (like i once was - with lack of discretion). He is financially controlling and she is in his lair now. I know he still puts himself first in very self ish ways.
The positive result of leaving: I am 100% standing on my own and I love it - even though in many ways life is harder (busier and financially vulnerable). Yet, SO worth the exchange bc now I have no relationship restrictions imposed on me and I can pursue my career dreams - which I am doing!
My mother was a narcissist and I have 4 sisters with S/S of narcissism. I was the good daughter and received nothing but hatred/punishment. No help from my sisters and an enabling father. Left home at age 21 and never looked back but carried a lot of guilt and shame with me. Got into therapy and built a successful life. But it’s a continual struggle.
My narcissistic mother as she got older seemed almost aware of some of the awful things she had done in her life but of course, she would not admit it. She kept up with the gaslighting and started insulting her caregivers at her assisted living. She seemed to have increased self loathing. At a time when you seek peace, she walked into the dark ness even further.
Wow, your comment reminded me my ex boyfriend...covert narc...said his mother was so nasty to the nursing home staff none of them wanted to deal with her...I kept wondering if he got a lot of his entitled, selfish behavior and lack of empathy from his Mom...I think there are definitely some nature and nurture issues going on with him straight from Momma!!
Gaslighting like rewriting history; pretending to care for their current and past victim targets; lying about their own children telling people terrible things about them which are not true too just to get attention. I could go on and on. The only way to keep the peace with them is to put as much distance between yourself and them.
Has to be demonic. They are controlled. No other explanation.
@@SC-zw2uy, I’ve wondered about the nature vs nurture, both my younger two are showing signs. The youngest is a adopted daughter. Either they’re showing the signs or they are being controlled by their father. But it would be interesting to know.
@@katen1228 I think it's nature, nurture, and then their experiences including who has influence over them.....if that influence is from a narcissist it can play a big role in their behavior.
They spend the first part of their lives choosing a cage and the rest of it polishing the bars- never noticing that they have the key in their own pocket.
Gus has life figured out. Love and be loved, and let it be ... and take a nap ...
Truth. I am in the first stages of divorce. He is 75, I am 74. Six years ago, I had cancer. Had a kidney removed, and then treatments every quarter for 2 years. I drove myself to/from each of those treatments - an hour and a hail each way - because he was so negative in his remarks about everything on the drive. My appeals to lighten up, that I needed positive support, fell on deaf ears. In listening to this video, all those increasingly mean behaviors have fallen into place. Finally. I've been listening to Dr Carter for a couple of years now. What a blessing to have a positive, compassionate yet realistic professional in my life. Thank you, Dr Carter. You are my role model.
You are so kind...and I hope you have been able to heal both physically and emotionally. I'm pleased to be on the path with you.
I was recently given a gift of being blocked by the narcissist in my life. I’m going to take it snd respect it. I will continue to view it as a gift. I want to thank the online counselors that have gotten me through the horrible experience of having them in my life!
Basically the ”curse” is their entire problem.
Narcissist do not PORTRAY being angry.
Anger isnt charismatic....they cant win people over with anger......internally they may be ....but they do not will not show it out in public.
My dads wife is a narcissist. She doesn’t get along with most of my dads siblings. She’s always the victim. Last month she put her finger towards my face and called me stupid when I didn’t agree with her. That set me off to go no contact. My dads the monkey trying to get me to change my mind. I told him no, no, no, I’m not going to tolerate and set myself for abuse anymore. My dad invited me to Hawaii. I tried to explain the Hawaii would be more like hell if I have to be around her. I’m still expecting the baiting which theyre starting to do. Not falling for it. I’m already finding peace, why would I take a step back.
stay strong christine. way to exercise boundaries with her. had not heard some called a monkey that way, my first thought was an *"enabler"* , but flying monkey IS another way to see him. recall how to go grey rock 🪨 and use the D.E.E.P technique [do not defend, engage, explain or personalize].
Take your holiday at home where "she" won't be
I don't see how you can know this person I live with so well and if you don't, it stuns me to know there are more!!
7:00 becoming increasingly incapable of letting things in. That's the curse. Stuck in their own negativity and they don't realize how others are "stay away". They truly have a lot of contempt.
"Team healthy" is a very important part of the process 💙
They get worse with age as well. The contempt becomes less hidden and the disdain. I'd get out if I could. It's not their own lives they ruin it's those around them that are stuck with them. They may make a ge for themselves but they trap a lot of people in there with them. It's a fallacy that they all end up alone. I'm sick and need radical surgery so I'm a captive audience. Seeing through the facade but they still have friends children relatives etc. They're difficult negative disdainful and dr. C. Is correct they do become worse. The curse is,on those stuck in it
@@bereal6590 hope you can surround yourself with healthy people. 💙
Projection and mirroring they do and nobody is good, but them
Good morning Dr Carter. 👋 my soul has dwelt too long with one who hates peace. I am for peace, but when I speak, they are for war.
Sounds very familiar 🤔
💯facts
They never miss a crisis (that has nothing to do with them) to put the focus onto them!
All they dirty wrong doings through their lives is catching up constantly, so leave them alone in their own misery and cause and effect will do the work like the most precise Swiss watch.
Doesn't make it any easier for us to be witness to no matter what we agree should be a different document drawn up for us instead.
The narc came across as a perpetual victim and I wanted to help because my life was so much better than his. It seemed like a dark cloud always followed him and I was always coming to the rescue. I started to notice how the dark cloud was following me. Karma was paying him back and there was nothing I could do so I stepped out of the way. He got upset bc I stopped investing in the relationship so I got the silent treatment. I went no contact and blocked him so he could self destruct by himself.
Shallow = empty = nothing
That’s the true self of a narcissist.
The narcissists I know are lucky & seem to get away with everythg. They never get karma bc they think it's everyone else's fault. They are the constant victim. But, I guess as they age their luck runs out & karma sets in.
So sadly true...
I hope so
They are "devious" not lucky. And that's why they go undetected for sooo long. It's also why it's sooo important to EXPOSE THEM at every opportunity. Think of the children and unsuspecting empaths you might save from abuse if you stand up and shout out what they are for EVERYONE to see. PROTECT THE CHILDREN!!!!!!!
There's an obvious parallel between the description of a victim of NPD abuse and the person with NPD. The most glaring example is my behavior and use of NPD tactics right back at them. Their curse and demons becomes part of me. The internal struggle is relentless. A war for my soul.
They cannot keep friends
Your channel should be retitled psychopaths of the world. You don’t describe just simple everyday narc, but rather malignant narc and psychopaths.
Narcs are impossible to deal with because they will never recognize that they are their own worst enemy. Their shield of self protection creates an impenetrable barrier to any real growth or understanding. My ex would tell me that he was filled with rage and that it was my fault.
Yeah. I spent my whole life, especially as a minor, trying to protect my mother from the consequences of her behavior
The decreasing dignity is something that can develop into dehumanising people. I was having a panic attack one day and my mother walks in and demands an explanation. Said I wasn’t ready to share my feelings and she replied: “And since when do you have feelings?”
Yes.!! One time when I was about 10, I was chewed out over some thing minor, huge blow up from the narcissist like I'd killed someone, and I said..I feel... before I could say how I felt the narc screams.." You feel.??!!!!! What do you mean you Feel.!!!??? I learned young that "feelings" were not allowed by me, only by them.
An insult just Beggs to be answered with a better insult😊
'Never satisfied'and instant gratification provided for by others.I ĺooked at mine and remembered Shakespeare
'Now is the winter of our discontent'.Cold and callous.
The funny thing is that narcissists can recognize this damaging pattern *in other people*. I know one who was always pointing out the self-sabotaging behavior of a relative, yet didn't realize that she often did the same thing, and was growing more like that relative each day. She even used to say that it did no good to just move or change one's environment, "Because wherever you go, there YOU are." Yet as she grows older, she's following the same path and will likely end up the same way as our unhappy elderly aunt.
Projection
Someone I know has met shamans in Mongolia, and he told me that according to them, the narcissists exude a smell of death, like rotting corpse. Of course it's a "spiritual smell", but when Dr Carter talked about the stentch, it reminded me of that story ! Maybe we can get that skill so we can smell them a mile away ^^ I wish so.
People who never stand for politness, honesty and merciness for real - only in words? People who admire those who can make them wealthy even they had no chance to know about their honest? That is why narcists are so often victms of cheaters because deep inside they accept cheating, unfortunately they never expect to be cheated - they flasely consider their mind above others
That is interesting. I kinda know what they mean--it's as though there's no oxygen in their aura.
That is interesting!
I agree 100%- raised by two narcs and they absolutely stink spiritually. If i shake someone's hand and see a large shadow rising behind them they invariably turn out to have narc habits and patterns over time.
I think it was funny that you talked about narcissists psycological stench today. Last night I woke up in the middel of the night and had like a visceral experience that I tasted Freedom.....
And it tasted like fresh air.....
No truer words! The last 5 yrs of my narc mother's life was the worst. She was so angry, nasty & looking down on me like I was the dirt on her feet. She stole anything of mine that I left out & even found my keys to my office just to steal more of my stuff! Talk about heartbreaking! Her selfishness was off the charts! But nothing was off limits and nothing was to low for her to go! I didn't know it was narcissism at the time. By the time I figured it out and was making a plan to move out, she passed away & the damage was done! If only I found this channel sooner. Thank you Dr. C for being on my healing path.❤
Same here, I'm so sorry you had to endure that also. There's no pain quite like it❣️
@@nylaclancy2655 Thank you for your kind words. Yeah, people don't seem to understand the pain & betrayal I feel. Thank you again!💖
“Team Healthy”…..
I love that! ♥️
There’s so many controlling people on this planet. I prefer to get as far away as possible.
My parents and two of my kids are that way.
Most people I know, are that way. It’s a daily challenge. People everywhere, that way.
The grocery store, post office, gas station…..
I used to think it’s something about me, that gives them permission to demean me.
Then I realized, that is just who they are. You can’t change them. You can change the way you respond though. The challenge is to let them know, that you are not a pushover with dignity. Not easy to do, at every turn. It wears you down.
Totally agree...it's not you...they just Are that way....
Aren’t they ever ashamed? He’s 73 years old. U would think they would want to enjoy life! Im Glad I never moved in or married this person! I’m glad he wrote me a letter and never wants to see me again. Thank god! Amen!
Thank you for all you do, Dr C ❤❤❤ Not sure I ever would have realized the recurring narcissistic patterns that have wreaked pain and havoc in my life without your videos. Now I can watch out for them and not allow them back in. Just wanted to make sure I say thank you. 🥰
You are so welcome
If you have a picture of yourself as a child I Can recommand to look at it with kind eyes and remember the innocence, love and Care that child needed. It Can built selfcompassion ❤
Dangerously close to making them out as some sort of victim which results in the rest of us pitying them and supplying some sort of consideration. Just get away from them. Don’t play the game on any level and you’ll step ahead onto higher ground and happiness for yourself.
The psychological stench!! What a great way to put that
Spot on! I feel sorry for my ex. He constantly complains how miserable his life is but takes zero accountability, refuses to make the changes necessary to fix his issues.
The narcissists are cursed to the core of their life.
The curse is thier inability to feel Love, while thier here having the human experience.
If they could then they would & they'd feel empathy, compassion & would then learn how to forgive & be accountable for thier actions.
Many narcissists are loved regardless of the hurt they give to others. Thier forgiven too because some people who are in thier lives or who were in the narcissists life, do know how to love. Have learnt to forgive & do feel compassion for the plight of the one's who think thier entitled to acts of cruelty.
Bingo 💯so horribly accurate
When they've drawn you into an argument and you make a sensible point they will pick someone that you both know is a controlling nasty person and tell you that you are worse than that individual is.
Thanks to Dr. C.
My brother is a covert malignant narcissist. It took me 47 years to finally understand what he is.thats so important to your own health to understand......then you don't sit & wonder & stew about the terrible behaviors they engage in.
After learning what he is im much more at peace with myself.
It certainly is a curse but...as Dr. C said.....they'll never realize any of it.
They deserve as much empathy that they give to others. Yet, I still find myself understanding that they were a product of their environment and genetics. Their existence would be sad to me if I were ignorant to the fact that narcissists psychologically abuse people regularly, frequently, and without empathy. Psychological abuse is abuse and abuse is unacceptable.
They are the biggest hypocrites also. He monitors what negativity I talked about, which wasn't very often and he condemned that kind of talk. Until HE did it. Then it was perfectly fine.
He also prepared chicken with its tail and spine still attached. I told him, you are supposed to remove that.
Well, he didn't. He served it that way. GROSS.
So glad I got rid of that human cyanide pill.
OMG-this video nailed it. The absolute best description of a narcissist that I have ever heard! I know this about the curse on them but it sure feels like the curse is on the person's life who has to deal with them. I'm not talking about an optional relationship like friend or spouse but when it's a parent or your child or even a sibling its a living hell.
re com mend 📹 *"BREAKING* ...
... *GENERATIONAL* ...
..... *CURSES"* by derek
..... *prince*
@@lifewithapurpose237 Its hard to break something that someone wants to hold onto. Their will is involved too and many if not most narcissists are completely unaware that their behavior and actions toward others is a problem. They justify it to themselves, others and even God. The narcissist in my life is a Christian and even sits on the front row in church when they attend. But here is an example of what I'm talking about. This person recently told me of a "huge" error in judgement or mistake that another family member made in terms of making false accusations against the narcissist out of anger. I actually agreed with them knowing the situation, that the narcissist was right this time. However, this narcissist plans to totally discard them and this is a pattern with this person. They always believe and state they are right in every situation and the other person involved is always wrong. So I decided to challenge them to try to help them get insight into their unforgiving thoughts & actions as a Christian and human in general. So I said-yes that person was wrong in what they said and done BUT God wants Christian to have mercy with others. The response I got was-"God knows that I'm a merciful person. Translation( since I know them) I dont have to examine how I responded or plan to respond in this situation because even God knows that I'm a good and perfect person. This narcissist constantly talkes about their good deeds and the fact that they are a good person ( this was long before they became a Christian) so they can't understand how others could possibly not see or recognize that. Therefore, no matter what- the other person has the problem. Point is there would be no need for delverance because they think that if its a curse on them it didn't come from anything having to do with them. Honestly, this person has already been thru deliverance sessions and nothing has changed with their personality. Many may disagree but I think narcissism is not in someone's soul but their mind and that is where the change needs to occur. But needless to say when deliverance didn't work, that's when I gave up on hoping for a change with this person. Insight is needed and that's the one thing narcissists won't allow into their consciousness because it will shatter the "fake self" they need that to function since the real self is too fragile...
Yes, I agree totally - they are cursed. I just slammed the door on one in January. It is now mid-May, and he is still leaving abusive, name-calling messages on my phone. I finally blocked him from any phone or social media access to me. I fear he may show up at my house now, but I am prepared to deal with him if he does. They truly are the most miserable people on Earth.
It is so sad. I wanted to help him. I spent years trying to reach him so that he could feel real love. He hated me for that. A waste of my time. Thank you for helping me understand that. And that I can choose to live inside my place of peace and be an inspiration and a model of peace for others who are open to receive and share that. Feeling so much love and joy now that I am free. I love that I am learning to live from a more positive intention instead of trying to rescue people who don't want to be rescued! You gave me something to aim for!