I used to be the "broke friend", and one thing I can promise you is no one has fun "being broke"
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 26 ส.ค. 2024
- I used to be the "broke friend", and one thing I can promise you is no one has fun "being broke". I have to believe that most people are good, and if they had the capability to pay you back or reciprocate financially, they would. And if you don't believe they would in the season of their life when they're doing well, why are you friends with them? It's so strange to me that people would offer to pay for something as a gift but then get mad when it's accepted based on the terms THEY set.
You are not wrong. What she did was wrong, from the heart...but look how you have financially grown...im proud of you
You know why you feel that way??? Because you have been through some hardships in life and now that you have what you have always wanted and more, you don't mind giving to the people you love because you know what it's like to be at the bottom and your big heart, humble, and selfless self will never forget that part of your life. Blessings 💕
wow that is not a friend
That is so strange! I could never keep a tally on someone. If you financially can’t swing the extra money to help someone, don’t offer it. 🤷🏻♀️
I completely agree with you! Do it out of the goodness of your heart and just be happy to help.
I wish God blessed us with more funds so I could literally walk up to someone on the street and hand them $100. I would do it every single day. I love helping others when I can!!
Wow so true. I hate owing people money and I don't like accepting if there's strings attached. I have been there and people made a checklist also.
And I'm just like you I would give the shirt off my back and not expect anything when I give it.
It’s reassuring to know that empathy still exists. ❤
My personal rule is, "don't give out money you need to see again". So, even if it's a loan, I'm prepared to never be paid back and just not help that person again.
I agree with this.
I have a friend who thinks that she has to reciprocate all gifts or favors and that drives me crazy. To the point that I don’t give her gifts anymore because she feels she’ll have to give me something later on.
It is odd to me too. My parents had money and would just give and tell us to give bc you want to, not bc you expect something in return. You'll strain or lose friends that way.
People that literally hold accounting like that over peoples heads I'll never understand. Unless they were strapped for cash all of a sudden and asked for help, but the literal time stamp keeping of money use is not nice or sincere.
When I was in high school, we had a core group of about 6-8 friends who would go out a lot. We all covered each other, with no strings or accounting. For example: when we'd go to Denny's, we'd pay the bill by the following system: everyone would keep putting cash on the table until the bill and tip was paid. Whoever had more money would usually keep adding more, while those with less would pay less. I still use that system to this day, and I hope that they all still do too.
In high school my best friend borrowed $10 so he could take a girl out to get boba, the only reason i remember is bc he told me he would pay me back (and hes super wealthy). I dont think i will ever bring it up, more just a funny story 😂
Being broke stinks
That’s why you don’t take everything offered to you. Some ppl are weird or resentful. Idk if the friend was broke and desperate so she tried to collect on what wasn’t owed to her? That was not a nice thing to do on her part. I have people that I have done so much for and they gave me their 🍑 to kiss. I also have people in my life that have done so much for me. I always try to show my appreciation for the people that truly care for and helped me
You are not wrong! Anyone who would invite you out when they know you’re broke and then keep a tally of what they spent on you in order to ask for that money later is a fake friend. You’ve got to wonder why they were asking you to hang with them in the first place?
Your "friend" is an asshole. If I'm lending money I make it clear from the get go (and even then it's not something I'll wreck a friendship over). If you invite someone to something you can afford and you know they can't you pick up the bill as gratitude for being able to hang out with your friend or chose a more affordable get together. It's a different story if you were the one planning expensive outings or promising to pay someone back but if someone offers to cover you it's fair to assume that's a gift to be paid forward when you can.
Crazy thing I been through that with my cousin who when I wasn't working would ask for me to come out and when I would be like nah he kinda guilted me (I was broke broke). He did something similar which caught me by surprise. Long story short his mom had a real estate venture and I helped along the contractors (like pulling old carpet so they didn't have to pay extra for flooring, painted, assisted contractor with taking down old cabinets and counter tops with me taking it to the dump etc)... When property sold and it was time to pay I got shorted and it was because the money my cousin spent going out in the past couple years before he took it out... And last but not least he got it (made 140k+ from his job)
It's a different perspective.. i found out the reverse way I was the only person I knew for years that thought like you..
But plot twist.. the divine came through and said I had to stop doing it because it was looking like I was trying to buy friendship..
Somehow me sharing my abundance was becoming a reflex when getting to know someone and they wanted me to getnout of that mindset real fast .. I'm still working on it..
I think there are 2 points here. I think your point about friends giving and spending on each other is a choice. But if you don’t make it clear that someone owes you money back at the time you’re giving it, they don’t owe you anything
I agree with you!
I've been there. It was the worst feeling and the biggest confusion I had ever had.
It's one thing if it was a "you can get me back later" kind of thing. Or if you were asking for help or asking for loans, but it sounds like this friend is a tit-for-tat kind of person. They did this because they were expecting something in return (praise, gratitude, loyalty) and when you didn't deliver to their satisfaction, they came with receipts. I had a narcissistic friend who would constantly keep tally on every relationship and when they didn't get a present or praise that they thought they should be getting they would lash out in the same way. The thing is your never going to be able to do enough, their generosity or gesture is always going to out way anything you do for them.
No you aren’t wrong a real friend wouldnt have done that. Or at least would have communicated that agreement to get paid back and made sure you were agreeing to the terms. You actually value ppl so it’s nothing wrong with helping others if they don’t have it. The quality time and being able to share fun and memories does seem worth it when you have the money to do so. You just have to be careful of people who pretend to be cool but are jealous
When I have money..I give it..I can't take it to my grave!..I don't understand the tally either..that is manipulative..😢..the person knew you had no money..😢..
🙏✨
You wouldn't have gotten into this trouble if you had known all along that your friend was a German. Sorry for what you've been though.
No girly f you are totally right babes. I am about to be u...#teammomoney
You should not have taken so much free stuff from her.
Maybe you dont ecpect anything, because you hated having to pay back.
However, in my experience, there are too many peole who will mooch off of others, not caring about the friendship, but in it to see how much they can get. Then, they move on when the hospitality fizzles.
I don't do hand outs, and I don't pay for others, unless we've been friends for years. Then, I might put in for them. I like to take care of me, and not worry about who owes what.
but wheres the original videoo
that ""friend" is not a friend !