Normalize consent period. People are taught that their bodies aren't theirs, especially women. Saying no, setting boundaries, getting to exist as themselves should be normal and it's not.
@@MonCharltonhe could have made the term with that in mind, but it’s based on the song Stan by Eminem which is about a psycho fan who ends up killing his pregnant wife and himself when Eminem wouldn’t respond to his fan letters
TIL that the word "stan" is a portmanteau of "stalker fans," and not (what I had previously assumed) a reference to "Stand by Me" (a person who will stand by you and support you in times of trouble). T_T
Unhealthy people have issues with boundaries, so I am not surprised by the stans push back or have a gross misunderstanding of what she is saying. For my generation, it was Brittney Spears as a wake-up call, then seeing it happen to Miley and other celebrities! Like the way, they talked about Beyonce or even One Direction (not my vibe). The Fandom that has now reached a new level of standom highlights the global mental health crisis. I hope people get the help and support they need.
The whole ‘she should just expect and be able to take it” angle is giving big time misogyny and I just wonder if people can hear themselves. I stan no one, but I respect Chappel so much more for taking care of herself and modeling better boundaries to her fans and the industry at large. Great video!
I don't think it's constructive to add in gender/misogyny to this, male artists are *expected* to just deal with crazy fans all the same as female artists. StutterBox mentioned two instances in this very video. If there's a bias, then it's towards celebrities in general.
@@Oujouj426 Is ‘it happens to men, too’ a good measure of whether misogyny is relevant to this particular case? I don’t think so. Seems that formulation could preclude really any discussion of misogyny and so probably isn’t very useful.
The comments I've seen on FB about this have been wild. People seem to think she's being a brat, but I just see someone having healthy boundaries. Why tf do people think they're due a pound of flesh, simply because one is an artist and/or celebrity? 🤨
Thank you so much, you articulated this so so eloquently and poignantly. I’ve run into so many people who think asking for a picture isn’t a big deal. This is so excellent- I tried to articulate this but I couldn’t, thank you for putting this into words. It is so important to discuss the dangerous consequences of fans feeling entitled to the Artist as a commodity. Love your work, love your septum ring, have a good one man, keep doing you This is just the best explanation of the discourse and is so informative.
I normally never write here, but I have to agree with every single word said. I was a bit reluctant at first but no. You are right 100%. Will share it everywhere.
Remember when Doja Cat told her toxic fans to get a job and to stop being stupid and they cried and moaned and Doja wrote Demons and they loved it, even though it’s about them. These type of fans are just idiots.
I think it's unfair to expect her to be willing to interact w strangers like Stranger Danger isn't a thing. celebrities have been killed by obsessed stans, off the top of my head, John Lennon and Christina Grimmie come to mind, all it takes is one stranger having proximity to you to kill you and I think she's valid for not wanting strangers to come up to her.
And it’s super healthy to establish these boundaries early on in her life. So many pop stars we’ve seen get completely ruined by media and fans, at least she’s being proactive about it. She also said she would rather stop her music than carry on if it got too crazy with stalkers so like, fans can’t even argue that she should be grateful shut up and take it when she would quite literally rather quit than take it on the chin like she’s “supposed to”
@@stutter_box artists don't force us to like their stuff, we CHOOSE to like it for one reason or another, to say that they don't have a choice but to accept anything the fans want is paradoxical imo cause they don't force us to like their stuff, why should they feel forced to give up their autonomy because we want a picture or a hug?
She’s 100% right, and the women that disagree are some of the worst misogynists around: ‘what makes YOU special?’ ‘Oh.. because I said. If you think it’s an exception to ask for safety, maybe that’s something you should handle. Over there.’ Ya
Agree! A few months ago I bumped into a Mexican tik toker and his boyfriend here in Colombia, they have very funny content. All did was "hey! I love you guy's content" they said thank you and that is was nice meeting me, then I continued with my life, never asked for pics because they were on a stroll and it was not a Meet and Greet and I kept.my distance, they were just haging around.
Yeah, S.E. Hinton, the author of _The Outsiders,_ recently posted that her publisher sent her flowers. The delivery person stopped at Barnes & Noble on the way to pick up some of Hinton's books for her to sign. She did not sign them. Her comment section was not pretty.
I feel like there is a balance. I don't think celebrities "owe" anyone anything. But I do think humans owe humans courtesy. Which means if someone is being discourteous to you by being creepy... you're right to call them out and tell them off. But if they are doing something that's considered polite in (the nontoxic versions) of your culture, like telling you they love your music and asking for a photo or autograph, you should be courteous back. Even if you're courteously saying "I can't do that. But thanks for asking."
Yeah, I mean, celebrities usually are very rude to "regular people", specially the ones providing some service, the whole "I'm just a random b" thing it's just not real, we know it and they know it too, and will make sure to remind everyone giving the circumstance. Comparing asking for a picture or talking to her in public to stalking is also kinda weird, but who know, maybe it's a new trend.
@@carolitoffana She brought up stalking because people were, you guessed it, harassing her sister and family! This may surprise you, but that is stalking.
I never understood the 'wanting a photo' thing anyway, as no one cares to see those photos, lol. It's taking up someone's time and personal space just to make something no one cares about
Why? Just because she likes fan engagement doesn't mean she wants other celebrities to follow in her footsteps...also she knows how to handle the pressure and fame & she's not complaining about it even though it may secretly affect her mental health...she stopped doing fan secret sessions since the Lover era
So long as she doesn't play into cultivating obsessive fans . Like Swift does. She needs to refund her cancelled shows though.she cancelled shows to do the VMA show
Short answer is no, I think it's fantastic an artist is speaking out about what is and isn't acceptable as ways to treat another human. More artists should do the same tbh.
I thought respecting other people’s (famous or otherwise) space and not imposing oneself on them and their time was just basic decency, but I guess some have not gotten the memo. Yikes.
Yeah, no she definitely shouldn’t be expected to give everything. She is providing a service (singing) and that is what they are entitled too. The only thing I will fault her for is it’s fair not to want people in your personal life but then also don’t do stuff like drag your ex on stage who maybe talking about you at some random bar in your hometown. It’s playing with fire tbh.
wait, you're saying that HORRIBLE John Travolta movie Fanatic, was actually based on some real event? (John T played a fanatic guy who hid in someone's closet, it awful, don't watch it) BTW, i think all this behaviour is partly to blame on the fact that it's OK to hate the rich rn. But i guess that is jealousy?? idk, i think it makes being entitled to someone who's above you socially sort of acceptable, in a way.
I never understood celebrity culture. I never wanted to meet a celebrity. That said, I feel like celebrities, especially new ones, need to accept the reality of celebrity culture. It’s essentially a glamorized version of retail culture. You are expected to always be available, nice, and happy at all times, and random strangers will judge and actively bully you if you don’t live up to their standards. The only benefit is that you get paid more and get the label of a 'fun job,' which disallows you from complaining. The moment your job becomes serving others, people will expect you to serve. Multiple celebrities have died because of this, and if that didn’t change anyone’s mind, then complaining online isn’t going to solve anything.
I'm not saying what people do is right, but the reality of the situation is clear. It feels childish and overly idealistic to believe you can enjoy all the fame and attention of being a celebrity without facing the well-known and often fatal drawbacks. I genuinely respect those who step away from the spotlight for these reasons more than those who stay and do nothing but complain that it's too bright. Every job has its downsides, and everyone is held to unreasonable standards. To be completely honest, I find it hard to sympathize with someone who could walk away, fade from the public eye, collect royalties, and still live comfortably-especially when I, and about a billion other people, don't have that luxury.
Just no! Being harassed is no one's job, and that's a fact! And if you are being harassed, you should speak up no matter what!! You just said that because she has money, she should either accept it or leave it (it being her dream job), and that's just plain DUMMMMB.
Depends , if she’s good I would 😂. Haven’t you ever been to any local concerts\shows?? That’s how you find new music. Literally, by paying for a gig of random musicians 😅
What do you mean she wasn't an overnight success? None of the artists in the past started their thing and got famous in a few days, it's ALWAYS that they were doing it for years, but then became famous very suddenly, in a no one knows them to everyone knows them way. That explanation was totally unnecessary, she's the quintessential overnight success.
I’ve read enough people claiming to think she’s been doing it for a few months only, so I don’t thinks it was unnecessary, but appreciate the feedback!
@@sofypi7493the go away? You mean then go away? Please, she’s showing love to the channel and that’s what matters. Sometimes the topic isn’t for everyone, but we still support the stutter.
Cry me a river. Every celebrity wants all the money, the fame, the perks; but don’t want them to cost them anything. If you don’t want to interact with the ppl that are giving you the life you are bitching about, then don’t pursue fame. Get a 9-5 job and call it your happy, tranquil life.
Right. If she didn't want the attention then why is she going on TV talk shows discussing her private life? She seems like a real spoilt brat. She should stick to croaking in her parents basement and leave showbiz to people who can handle it.
As a “fan” you do not have the right to anyone’s time and they are not obligated to give it to you. Not too mention the reason she even brought it up were people stalking her mom and sister.
@DankrumStar Doesn't look like that's what they said. If you work as a soldier, you should expect to be shot at. It shouldn't happen, ideally, but it's a thing that can happen. There will always be crazed, obsessive fans, these people are mentally ill, they don't get discouraged by people simply saying "hey, don't do that please". It's a downside of fame that you just have to find a way of dealing with, usually by having a security detail.
Social media has created parasocial.relationships more than anything imo. Personally, I like my personal space and I won't hug anyone other than my family and close friends. Also I don't do social.media like Facebook, Instagram or X because I don't invite strangers into my life. The idea that the celebrity wants to interact on a personal level with fans is fanned by them posting on social media. That said weirdo stalkers have existed for ever like Elvs and the Beatles had them. I'd never talk to a celeb, I live in a place where celebs have second homes and no one gives a shit about them here, we just act like we don't notice. Roan is correct, I'd feel.the same way.
Normalize consent period. People are taught that their bodies aren't theirs, especially women. Saying no, setting boundaries, getting to exist as themselves should be normal and it's not.
i guess stans forgot why they are called stans, and why that's not a good thing...
honestly, good for her
Wait…is it STalker fANS?
@@MonCharltonhe could have made the term with that in mind, but it’s based on the song Stan by Eminem which is about a psycho fan who ends up killing his pregnant wife and himself when Eminem wouldn’t respond to his fan letters
TIL that the word "stan" is a portmanteau of "stalker fans," and not (what I had previously assumed) a reference to "Stand by Me" (a person who will stand by you and support you in times of trouble). T_T
Unhealthy people have issues with boundaries, so I am not surprised by the stans push back or have a gross misunderstanding of what she is saying.
For my generation, it was Brittney Spears as a wake-up call, then seeing it happen to Miley and other celebrities! Like the way, they talked about Beyonce or even One Direction (not my vibe).
The Fandom that has now reached a new level of standom highlights the global mental health crisis. I hope people get the help and support they need.
The whole ‘she should just expect and be able to take it” angle is giving big time misogyny and I just wonder if people can hear themselves. I stan no one, but I respect Chappel so much more for taking care of herself and modeling better boundaries to her fans and the industry at large. Great video!
Yup I don't blame her no one wants a stalker fame or not. She is great and her music is catchy af. Boundaries are normal.
I don't know much about her but she comes off as a major creep herself. Somebody needs to do an expose on her.
I don't think it's constructive to add in gender/misogyny to this, male artists are *expected* to just deal with crazy fans all the same as female artists. StutterBox mentioned two instances in this very video. If there's a bias, then it's towards celebrities in general.
@@Oujouj426 Is ‘it happens to men, too’ a good measure of whether misogyny is relevant to this particular case? I don’t think so. Seems that formulation could preclude really any discussion of misogyny and so probably isn’t very useful.
@@supremelymontgomeryclift3453guys we found the creep
The comments I've seen on FB about this have been wild. People seem to think she's being a brat, but I just see someone having healthy boundaries. Why tf do people think they're due a pound of flesh, simply because one is an artist and/or celebrity? 🤨
Thank you so much, you articulated this so so eloquently and poignantly. I’ve run into so many people who think asking for a picture isn’t a big deal.
This is so excellent- I tried to articulate this but I couldn’t, thank you for putting this into words. It is so important to discuss the dangerous consequences of fans feeling entitled to the Artist as a commodity.
Love your work, love your septum ring, have a good one man, keep doing you
This is just the best explanation of the discourse and is so informative.
I normally never write here, but I have to agree with every single word said. I was a bit reluctant at first but no. You are right 100%. Will share it everywhere.
Remember when Doja Cat told her toxic fans to get a job and to stop being stupid and they cried and moaned and Doja wrote Demons and they loved it, even though it’s about them. These type of fans are just idiots.
It’s the same type of brain as Maga brain imo , as a professional observant bitch , I’ve noticed this 😅
I think it's unfair to expect her to be willing to interact w strangers like Stranger Danger isn't a thing. celebrities have been killed by obsessed stans, off the top of my head, John Lennon and Christina Grimmie come to mind, all it takes is one stranger having proximity to you to kill you and I think she's valid for not wanting strangers to come up to her.
And it’s super healthy to establish these boundaries early on in her life. So many pop stars we’ve seen get completely ruined by media and fans, at least she’s being proactive about it. She also said she would rather stop her music than carry on if it got too crazy with stalkers so like, fans can’t even argue that she should be grateful shut up and take it when she would quite literally rather quit than take it on the chin like she’s “supposed to”
@@stutter_box artists don't force us to like their stuff, we CHOOSE to like it for one reason or another, to say that they don't have a choice but to accept anything the fans want is paradoxical imo cause they don't force us to like their stuff, why should they feel forced to give up their autonomy because we want a picture or a hug?
The Katy Perry jump scare nearly gave me a heart attack 😅
She’s 100% right, and the women that disagree are some of the worst misogynists around: ‘what makes YOU special?’
‘Oh.. because I said. If you think it’s an exception to ask for safety, maybe that’s something you should handle. Over there.’
Ya
Fans are used to Taylor Swift treatment...they expect to be invited to secret gatherings and cookies made...every person is different...
What treatment tho? Honest question, cause SHE DONT KNOW THEM EITHER 😅
Agree! A few months ago I bumped into a Mexican tik toker and his boyfriend here in Colombia, they have very funny content. All did was "hey! I love you guy's content" they said thank you and that is was nice meeting me, then I continued with my life, never asked for pics because they were on a stroll and it was not a Meet and Greet and I kept.my distance, they were just haging around.
Yeah, S.E. Hinton, the author of _The Outsiders,_ recently posted that her publisher sent her flowers. The delivery person stopped at Barnes & Noble on the way to pick up some of Hinton's books for her to sign. She did not sign them. Her comment section was not pretty.
Fuck THAT. Should she work for her UPS deliveries that have been paid for already?
@@janarama8136 I agree. You have a right to not be "on" in your own home.
I feel like there is a balance. I don't think celebrities "owe" anyone anything. But I do think humans owe humans courtesy. Which means if someone is being discourteous to you by being creepy... you're right to call them out and tell them off. But if they are doing something that's considered polite in (the nontoxic versions) of your culture, like telling you they love your music and asking for a photo or autograph, you should be courteous back. Even if you're courteously saying "I can't do that. But thanks for asking."
Yeah, I mean, celebrities usually are very rude to "regular people", specially the ones providing some service, the whole "I'm just a random b" thing it's just not real, we know it and they know it too, and will make sure to remind everyone giving the circumstance. Comparing asking for a picture or talking to her in public to stalking is also kinda weird, but who know, maybe it's a new trend.
@@carolitoffana She brought up stalking because people were, you guessed it, harassing her sister and family! This may surprise you, but that is stalking.
I never understood the 'wanting a photo' thing anyway, as no one cares to see those photos, lol. It's taking up someone's time and personal space just to make something no one cares about
taylor swift set a terrible precedent!
Why? Just because she likes fan engagement doesn't mean she wants other celebrities to follow in her footsteps...also she knows how to handle the pressure and fame & she's not complaining about it even though it may secretly affect her mental health...she stopped doing fan secret sessions since the Lover era
How?? 😅
So long as she doesn't play into cultivating obsessive fans . Like Swift does. She needs to refund her cancelled shows though.she cancelled shows to do the VMA show
I enjoy your content ❤
As a very unphotogenic big-boob haver I totally support the no pics no hugs movement.
Short answer is no, I think it's fantastic an artist is speaking out about what is and isn't acceptable as ways to treat another human. More artists should do the same tbh.
One plant gay to another, its impossible to stop. You have a nice collection tho! And ur monstera is gorgeous
I thought respecting other people’s (famous or otherwise) space and not imposing oneself on them and their time was just basic decency, but I guess some have not gotten the memo. Yikes.
Yeah, no she definitely shouldn’t be expected to give everything. She is providing a service (singing) and that is what they are entitled too.
The only thing I will fault her for is it’s fair not to want people in your personal life but then also don’t do stuff like drag your ex on stage who maybe talking about you at some random bar in your hometown. It’s playing with fire tbh.
😂 aaaaaaand this is where I realize I’m old, because I have no idea who she is. So she ain’t gotta worry about me asking for an autograph😂.
@@Echolyris212 find her videos on TH-cam she is fun.
17:12 love the shade 🤭
wait, you're saying that HORRIBLE John Travolta movie Fanatic, was actually based on some real event? (John T played a fanatic guy who hid in someone's closet, it awful, don't watch it)
BTW, i think all this behaviour is partly to blame on the fact that it's OK to hate the rich rn. But i guess that is jealousy?? idk, i think it makes being entitled to someone who's above you socially sort of acceptable, in a way.
I like one song of hers and that's it.
Yes
I never understood celebrity culture. I never wanted to meet a celebrity.
That said, I feel like celebrities, especially new ones, need to accept the reality of celebrity culture. It’s essentially a glamorized version of retail culture.
You are expected to always be available, nice, and happy at all times, and random strangers will judge and actively bully you if you don’t live up to their standards.
The only benefit is that you get paid more and get the label of a 'fun job,' which disallows you from complaining.
The moment your job becomes serving others, people will expect you to serve.
Multiple celebrities have died because of this, and if that didn’t change anyone’s mind, then complaining online isn’t going to solve anything.
I'm not saying what people do is right, but the reality of the situation is clear.
It feels childish and overly idealistic to believe you can enjoy all the fame and attention of being a celebrity without facing the well-known and often fatal drawbacks.
I genuinely respect those who step away from the spotlight for these reasons more than those who stay and do nothing but complain that it's too bright.
Every job has its downsides, and everyone is held to unreasonable standards. To be completely honest, I find it hard to sympathize with someone who could walk away, fade from the public eye, collect royalties, and still live comfortably-especially when I, and about a billion other people, don't have that luxury.
Just no! Being harassed is no one's job, and that's a fact! And if you are being harassed, you should speak up no matter what!! You just said that because she has money, she should either accept it or leave it (it being her dream job), and that's just plain DUMMMMB.
Would you pay good money to see a random lady singing?
Depends , if she’s good I would 😂. Haven’t you ever been to any local concerts\shows?? That’s how you find new music. Literally, by paying for a gig of random musicians 😅
What do you mean she wasn't an overnight success? None of the artists in the past started their thing and got famous in a few days, it's ALWAYS that they were doing it for years, but then became famous very suddenly, in a no one knows them to everyone knows them way. That explanation was totally unnecessary, she's the quintessential overnight success.
I’ve read enough people claiming to think she’s been doing it for a few months only, so I don’t thinks it was unnecessary, but appreciate the feedback!
Don't give a shit about her. Love you tho
The go away
and no one gives a shit about you either, darling
@@sofypi7493the go away? You mean then go away?
Please, she’s showing love to the channel and that’s what matters. Sometimes the topic isn’t for everyone, but we still support the stutter.
Cry me a river. Every celebrity wants all the money, the fame, the perks; but don’t want them to cost them anything. If you don’t want to interact with the ppl that are giving you the life you are bitching about, then don’t pursue fame. Get a 9-5 job and call it your happy, tranquil life.
we found the jealous one
Right. If she didn't want the attention then why is she going on TV talk shows discussing her private life? She seems like a real spoilt brat. She should stick to croaking in her parents basement and leave showbiz to people who can handle it.
As a “fan” you do not have the right to anyone’s time and they are not obligated to give it to you. Not too mention the reason she even brought it up were people stalking her mom and sister.
@DankrumStar Doesn't look like that's what they said. If you work as a soldier, you should expect to be shot at. It shouldn't happen, ideally, but it's a thing that can happen. There will always be crazed, obsessive fans, these people are mentally ill, they don't get discouraged by people simply saying "hey, don't do that please". It's a downside of fame that you just have to find a way of dealing with, usually by having a security detail.
@DankrumStar I would be even more angry if they messed with my family. Family and friends are off limits imo.
Social media has created parasocial.relationships more than anything imo. Personally, I like my personal space and I won't hug anyone other than my family and close friends. Also I don't do social.media like Facebook, Instagram or X because I don't invite strangers into my life. The idea that the celebrity wants to interact on a personal level with fans is fanned by them posting on social media. That said weirdo stalkers have existed for ever like Elvs and the Beatles had them. I'd never talk to a celeb, I live in a place where celebs have second homes and no one gives a shit about them here, we just act like we don't notice. Roan is correct, I'd feel.the same way.