Just watched the replay to catch up on the things I missed. This is currently a mild-moderate struggle for me. I’ve been trying to be non-judgmentally curious about what triggers the online browsing. After watching Hannah Louise Postons recent videos. I realized online browsing is one of my most consistent sources of fun and excitement, but for me it’s not high quality fun. The more I’m paying attention to my feelings during the browsing. The more I’m noticing it’s not that itching the scratch. I’m trying to take those opportunities to OFFER alternative activities like picking out my outfit for tomorrow, playing in my closet, painting my nails, putting on make up. Activities that make me feel more stylish right now. But “offering” alternatives is the key, the more I make shopping forbidden fruit, the more enticing it feels.
This is a topic I have a lot of thoughts about! I went from someone who never shopped (out of avoidance/worrying too much about buying the wrong things) to starting to shop more (and then actually buying the wrong things because I wasn't good at it!). Now I have finally gotten a handle on my style but I've realised that shopping has become a bit of a habit as I will often browse depop or ebay when I am feeling bored or overwhelmed. There is also the perfectionist aspect to it - always searching for the perfect item but it's never quite perfect so I have to keep looking etc
YES! Shopping for the future is my downfall. I justified it as “all the winter stuff is on clearance now and I’ll get so much use out of next year…” and then it takes up space in my closet and I stop “seeing” it, so by the time next year comes around, I forget I even bought it. I’ve been trying to shop in my own closet lately and identifying if I truly have any gaps or if I just forgot about things that I haven’t worn in months.
Definitely relate to the second cause of overshopping, continually shopping because I’m not finding the right items. For me it’s to do with body shape and struggling to find specifically trousers/jeans that hit the triad of being comfy, attractive and affordable. So I’m constantly ordering/returning over and over with bottoms, OR manically shopping for things that DO work and bring me an easy dopamine hit like pretty tops and dresses. I genuinely believe that if this need for the ‘missing’ trousers was met, I could calm down the shopping habit and actually just move onto enjoying my clothes. But…maybe that’s a fallacy.
I have the completely opposite problem! I feel guilty buying anything new to wear unless an item wears out & because of that I own less than 20 items of clothing in total 😢 (I'm Moonstone RD)
I have done this, myself. For me it was coupled with chronic online "window shopping", for the day when I would no longer feel guilty. My balance has improved a bit. I had to process the financial abuse I dealt with in childhood. I can finally cut tags off of clothes.
@@Nerdy-By-Nature Coming from a poor childhood home probably has a lot to do with it for me. I went from that into a financially controlled long-term relationship, so allocating money for "non essential" clothing wasn't possible. Now that I'm single again I'm trying to learn how to enjoy clothing for the 1st time in my life & Rita is so lovely that I feel as though I'm being gently re-educated through her channel
my body has changed and i am remodeling a house for a landlord so i shop A LOt. I am 62, so i recently updated most of my makeup and skincare. i also have an addiction to perfume and boots/shoes. that is where most of my money goes and i do feel guilty but i never pay full price and plan what im going to purchase. it is sooo exciting to have purchases delivered, i follow the tracking and anticipate the packages arrival, sometimes i even watch the security camera so i can watch the delivery truck pull up! 😂 hope im not abnormal.
I loved this. I overshot because I like to express myself in multiple ways even if there are parts of me I don't know that well when I put something on and it screams a part of a personality I want it for when I am projecting that part of my personality.
Hi Rita, I feel I have 2 wardrobes , the everyday practical around the house basics and the best socialising outfits. I like to multi buy the practical items when I find something comfortable I love as I know that it won’t last forever with multiple wash and wear but with the best outfits I like to find unique individual pieces. In the past I’ve definitely fallen into the trap of constantly purchasing things that will do at the time that were compromising my wants and needs but know after a lot of trial and error and self reflection I’m really in tune with my style needs and I love my wardrobe. I feel my basics are complete and will only purchase like for like when replacements are needed if haven’t already multi purchased and will only add something uniquely different to my best wardrobe which is slowly growing 😊
Rita thank you so so much for this video!! I have another question. I have a weird problem. Everytime I buy something new, I am hesitating to wear it, because it is new and I am kind of waiting for „the one occasion“ to wear it. What’s wrong with me 😂 I can’t really enjoy new things because of that. Do you know how to fix it? Should I force myself to wear these things? 🥹💕
OMG you're SO NOT ALONE WITH THIS What's "wrong" with you is that you have a bad habit and the habit is fueled by some belief like "I need to save my nice things for later" or "I'm not ready to be THAT person yet" It's basically just like a form of procrastination that's usually based on feeling nervous or not enough in some way The way to fix this, someone in my Leap class called it "taking the new item on a coffee date." Rather than planning to be out all day in it and putting together a great outfit, just put it on with a "good enough" outfit and wear it around the house! 20-30 minutes to let your body get used to it. Then you can escalate by taking it out to a quick errands or coffee run or whatever. Walk it around the block. Basically let your body inhabit the new item and show yourself how it feels!
@@StyleThoughtsbyRita thank you 😍 I didn’t know this is happening to others too 😅 I’ll try this next time ☺️ it’s funny how we develop bad habits over time and just live with it. Good to have your advice 💕
Just watched the replay to catch up on the things I missed. This is currently a mild-moderate struggle for me. I’ve been trying to be non-judgmentally curious about what triggers the online browsing. After watching Hannah Louise Postons recent videos. I realized online browsing is one of my most consistent sources of fun and excitement, but for me it’s not high quality fun. The more I’m paying attention to my feelings during the browsing. The more I’m noticing it’s not that itching the scratch. I’m trying to take those opportunities to OFFER alternative activities like picking out my outfit for tomorrow, playing in my closet, painting my nails, putting on make up. Activities that make me feel more stylish right now. But “offering” alternatives is the key, the more I make shopping forbidden fruit, the more enticing it feels.
This is a topic I have a lot of thoughts about! I went from someone who never shopped (out of avoidance/worrying too much about buying the wrong things) to starting to shop more (and then actually buying the wrong things because I wasn't good at it!). Now I have finally gotten a handle on my style but I've realised that shopping has become a bit of a habit as I will often browse depop or ebay when I am feeling bored or overwhelmed. There is also the perfectionist aspect to it - always searching for the perfect item but it's never quite perfect so I have to keep looking etc
Maybe this is weird to say, but I'm super distracted by how stunning Rita looks in this video. 😆 Giving Alphonse Mucha art nuveau goddess. 🤩
YES! Shopping for the future is my downfall. I justified it as “all the winter stuff is on clearance now and I’ll get so much use out of next year…” and then it takes up space in my closet and I stop “seeing” it, so by the time next year comes around, I forget I even bought it. I’ve been trying to shop in my own closet lately and identifying if I truly have any gaps or if I just forgot about things that I haven’t worn in months.
Oh yes, so much this!
I'm really glad I'm not alone in this... I think it activates that "being smart by preparing for the future" part of the brain
Definitely relate to the second cause of overshopping, continually shopping because I’m not finding the right items. For me it’s to do with body shape and struggling to find specifically trousers/jeans that hit the triad of being comfy, attractive and affordable. So I’m constantly ordering/returning over and over with bottoms, OR manically shopping for things that DO work and bring me an easy dopamine hit like pretty tops and dresses. I genuinely believe that if this need for the ‘missing’ trousers was met, I could calm down the shopping habit and actually just move onto enjoying my clothes. But…maybe that’s a fallacy.
I have the completely opposite problem! I feel guilty buying anything new to wear unless an item wears out & because of that I own less than 20 items of clothing in total 😢 (I'm Moonstone RD)
I hear you and feel you!!! Going to talk about this too in a separate stream, I know you are not alone with this problem!
I have done this, myself. For me it was coupled with chronic online "window shopping", for the day when I would no longer feel guilty. My balance has improved a bit. I had to process the financial abuse I dealt with in childhood. I can finally cut tags off of clothes.
@@Nerdy-By-Nature Coming from a poor childhood home probably has a lot to do with it for me. I went from that into a financially controlled long-term relationship, so allocating money for "non essential" clothing wasn't possible. Now that I'm single again I'm trying to learn how to enjoy clothing for the 1st time in my life & Rita is so lovely that I feel as though I'm being gently re-educated through her channel
my body has changed and i am remodeling a house for a landlord so i shop A LOt.
I am 62, so i recently updated most of my makeup and skincare. i also have an addiction to perfume and boots/shoes. that is where most of my money goes and i do feel guilty but i never pay full price and plan what im going to purchase. it is sooo exciting to have purchases delivered, i follow the tracking and anticipate the packages arrival, sometimes i even watch the security camera so i can watch the delivery truck pull up! 😂
hope im not abnormal.
I loved this. I overshot because I like to express myself in multiple ways even if there are parts of me I don't know that well when I put something on and it screams a part of a personality I want it for when I am projecting that part of my personality.
Hi Rita, I feel I have 2 wardrobes , the everyday practical around the house basics and the best socialising outfits. I like to multi buy the practical items when I find something comfortable I love as I know that it won’t last forever with multiple wash and wear but with the best outfits I like to find unique individual pieces. In the past I’ve definitely fallen into the trap of constantly purchasing things that will do at the time that were compromising my wants and needs but know after a lot of trial and error and self reflection I’m really in tune with my style needs and I love my wardrobe. I feel my basics are complete and will only purchase like for like when replacements are needed if haven’t already multi purchased and will only add something uniquely different to my best wardrobe which is slowly growing 😊
I would love so much an under shopping stream! It's me to a caricatural point😅
Rita, you look like a goddess!!
Rita thank you so so much for this video!! I have another question. I have a weird problem. Everytime I buy something new, I am hesitating to wear it, because it is new and I am kind of waiting for „the one occasion“ to wear it. What’s wrong with me 😂 I can’t really enjoy new things because of that. Do you know how to fix it? Should I force myself to wear these things? 🥹💕
OMG you're SO NOT ALONE WITH THIS
What's "wrong" with you is that you have a bad habit and the habit is fueled by some belief like "I need to save my nice things for later" or "I'm not ready to be THAT person yet"
It's basically just like a form of procrastination that's usually based on feeling nervous or not enough in some way
The way to fix this, someone in my Leap class called it "taking the new item on a coffee date." Rather than planning to be out all day in it and putting together a great outfit, just put it on with a "good enough" outfit and wear it around the house! 20-30 minutes to let your body get used to it. Then you can escalate by taking it out to a quick errands or coffee run or whatever. Walk it around the block. Basically let your body inhabit the new item and show yourself how it feels!
@@StyleThoughtsbyRita thank you 😍 I didn’t know this is happening to others too 😅 I’ll try this next time ☺️ it’s funny how we develop bad habits over time and just live with it. Good to have your advice 💕