“I’m Married to Shopping” Obsessive Compulsive Shoppers (Mental Health Documentary) | Only Human
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 6 ม.ค. 2019
- Shopping is something most people do - but for some, it can become an obsessive-compulsive habit making it hard to live a normal life. Jasmine Harman meets people suffering from shopping addiction while investigating the personal and very emotional reasons for developing this money-consuming habit.
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anything on sale is expensive when you don't need it
Damn.. It could not be articulated better
Preach!
Chiz Escudero ❤
Chiz Escudero statement😅😅
from love marie vlog
all addictions stem from the need to fill an empty space
Basically
Yess , Exactly...💖🙏
I agree. I'm like this. I have a lot of everything.
Yeah.
bababoo zonkie They are also used to cover up past traumas that people have been through!!!
Dipna’s father is frustrating. “When she gets married and has children she’ll get over her addiction” - she’ll still be the same person who’s got no idea who she is or what she likes or what she’s good at. She’ll be on maternity leave, feeling isolated and lonely, and revert back to her habits. She needs to find and love herself first.
Agreed. Having kids will make her want to buy more things to make them love her.
He probably thinks if she had a life beside shopping she would not have to shop
She’ll spoil her children then.
He's an enabler.
I don't think he feels able to criticize her, though. She's his child - one that he and his wife longed to have for *years*, so he isn't able to view her addiction through a realistic lens for fear that any criticisms will also reflect on him not being appreciative, or ungrateful of the blessing of having a child.
When she said, I blame my parents I thought noo.. is not their fault, you're an adult.
Then I saw her dad, and I changed my mind.
Getting maried and having children doesn't make your life suddenly perfect. It will comes with other hardships and worries. If you feel empty now, a spouse and children won't change that.
Most probably will make it worse
Depends on what you desire.
Not true, for superficial people that only go for looks marriage will come with its hardships and worrie, if you do it right then no.
@@robingroenbech3876 So you never in your relationship had to deal with something like illness, stress, financial struggles, death of loved ones or just plain bad luck? Because that is what I meant. You have to have a solid base to overcome these struggles as a couple.
There are a lot of women who develop compulsive shopping from an unhappy marriage.
*"if you don't buy anything, the discount is higher!!"* Julius
I live by this rule
LOL me too ,i've a #juliuslifestyle
Omg lol I haven't heard this before and that's so true 😂
My mom says that too.
Rochelle is not ok with that 😉
Me too 🙃
Her: " I've canceled work so I can go shopping*
Her boss: *watching the show*
latichina5 She works for her dad....
🤦♀️dumb snitch on her on self.
Her boss is daddy 😂
latichina5 😂😂😂 I thought the same
latichina5 lol yep she get fired
It kind of seems irresponsible that they didn’t bring on a doctor who truly specializes in these types of addictions/ compulsions.
That would cost money Theses people need real help not just someone telling them they are over spending!
Understandable but not everyone needs/wants a doctors help.
Let me tell you - 'Doctors' do not know everything.
When I see someone in a white coat I get afraid
A doctor who "truly" specialixes in addictions compulsions is not a guarantee that the person will be of help. Just as someone who does not have the "qualifications" ( I suppose you mean someone without a certificate?) is not a guarantee of incapability of helping, you see?
Jasmine is an expert on dealing with hoarders and has presented many programmes on the subject, speaking with specialists and helping people with their addictions. She has a vested interest as her own mother is a serious hoarder.
I used to shop compulsively out of low self esteem, then I started using that money towards traveling . It enriches my life and because I have all those experiences and memories, I feel my self esteem much higher than any designer bag could ever give
Good for you! That sounds great! That’s the key really, one need to find what’s missing and solving that issue! 🙌🏻
I think my issues are self esteem too worst thing is I try to justify things like oh my kid needs 2 boots and oh this will come in handy or I will wear this if I ever have an event ect
🎉🎉🎉🎉👍👏👏👏
I also was a compulsive shopper. One day i went thru my stuff and brought half of it to a womens shelter. I am now a minimalist and i feel great !
That’s amazing. I’m so happy for you
@@tamara7301 Thank you !!!!
@@devaiskander9983 Thank you !!!
Nice! It's funny how less stuff and clutter can make us happier. Good for you, enjoy the space.
Wow. You are amazing.
I feel bad for them, their excessive shopping is deeply rooted with loneliness, sadness and past hang ups in life and to fill those voids, they have anchored it to material things and compulsive buying.
OP is a breeder.
@@heidiembrey4917 Who says they get no compassion? There are countless charities and organizations to help children and the homeless. I'm sure many people in the comments donate their time and money to these causes. Empathy isn't a finite resource. It's possible to recognize that people from all walks of life are struggling for different reasons.
In some way everyone has this in some extend. The difference is some people like to fill their void with alcohol, drugs, hook ups, work, body, religion. Just God can fill that space within ourselves.
@@heidiembrey4917 bruh- get out of here-
Maybe, but anyone can get addicted to anything that gives a rush of dopamine. It doesn't have to be related to some past or present trauma
As someone who had this problem but on a smaller scale, I can say it was to fill a void, it was the only small hit of serotonin I'd often have, I also did it sort of as a way to distract myself from all the negative thoughts and experiences in my life. It's definitely not always just about the "shopping".
Similar here - not exactly to an extreme extent, but at the most loneliest times, I'd spend quite a lot (either on items, food or taking trips). These days I would like to think I'm more controlled (though there are slips at times!) but I'm in a much better place in most aspects, back in the "darker days" it was pretty much all I considered to have had...
You are describing myself as well. I believe shopping in excess is a symptom of depression.
Currently going through this after the loss of a loved one
I feel very similar. Grew up in poverty, abuse and neglect. My few toys would randomly disappear while I was at school and there have been times in my life where I had trauma or was struggling, and a shopping spree ensued. Some form of self soothing perhaps?🖐️❤️🌹
I don’t think it’s ever about shopping. It’s about a sense of safety. People come people leave, often times leaves us with scars we can’t even heal. I always say my clothes never left me, they are the ones stood by me no matter what happens. So no, it’s never about shopping. It’s a feeling of, I know they will never leave me
That man’s wife is a SAINT!!! I wouldn’t last more than 2 weeks with a guy like him that wastes money like it’s nothing…
👋👋👋👋👋👋👋👋👋👋👋👋👋👋
I watch these shows to remind myself that saving is a good thing and that less is more.
Exactly, even if these are extreme cases, it sti gives that feeling that helps you stick to your disciplines
Yes👏🏾
Less is best
Haha yes
Haha yes
Genuinely wonder how these people have coped during the pandemic
The E-compulsive-shopping 😁
Amazon has been taking a few of my coins that’s why I’m here, so I can only imagine how they’re doing.😅
Online
I've honestly shopped more. The pandemic makes it worse because I can shop online 😭
Online shopping that's how you cope, unfortunately I think I've developed this habit because I can't stop shopping for beauty products online . Lol
Im an introvert. I fantasize about going places fun and looking fly, so I buy a lot of clothes and shoes online, but never go anywhere. 😒. Im also single, and feel if I dress better, I can attract someone. I never get a chance to wear this stuff. But the fantasizing continues...
I encourage you to dress the beautiful clothes you have. My mom taught us to dress the way we like, if it makes you happy and creative, there is no reason not to do it.
I feel in the same way, I buy a lof of extravagant clothes and I'm too shy to wear them in public.
@@TheBruna451 wear them... Go out, just do it... wear everything 3 times... if you still feel uncomfortable, then sell them.
You got to find your style and your way of life!
This sound like me to a t☹️
@@anotherpretentiousfilmaker7 I am a compulsive online shopper I buy anything and evreything I can from Supernatural TV show I only use my own money but I love the show so much that I am a true Winchester addict
The first woman they showed is exactly like me. Loneliness. Single, not many friends, bored of life. Spending is this hyper-fixation of my life since covid 19. It’s ruining my life
I'M SINGLE BUT NOT LONELY I LOVE TO SHOP BECAUSE AT ONE POINT IN MY LIFE I DEALT WITH UNGRATEFUL PEOPLE THAT DIDN'T APPRECIATE ME SO ONCE I GOT MY STRENGTH BACK I FOCUSED ON MYSELF AND HERE WE ARE😍😍😍🙉
2:58 "These earrings are all £200 each" - and she's storing them in tupperware? bruh
My stars...that's exactly what went through my head! She should invest and buy one of those elegant jewelry armoires. You think the queen of England is storing her brooches in a repurposed butter tub? Guuurl....
@@helenarichard She has a big house for herself, it's not a problem of the space.
@@helenarichard shoe boxen full do kinda sound a little bit like a shopping addict though ;p
I believe she doesn't see these items as precious items that's why she doesn't care about them so much. I was shocked when I saw the way she store her bags! those were chanel bags too 💀
Deanna Shardlow 😂😂😂😂😂😂
What really prevents me from shopping like this is being poor. Let me tell you, works so well.
But studies actually show that compulsive buyers are significantly less aware than average buyers and don't care if they spend too much or don't usually know. What you're talking about is impulsive shopping.
Būbbly however when your disposable income is £200 a month, I think you will find that this will be cured
😂😂that is problem all the people who don't shop alot
ha ha love that
Jess 😆😆😆true!
I used to be one of these people. You CAN change. It's not a permanent prison. I thought I was hopeless but I cleaned up my trash home with my own two hands. It CAN happen. My current 450sq foot house seems SO much bigger than my last 1,000 sq.ft hoarder house.
Good! I like a success story 🙌
When Dipna mentioned going to the mall with her parents and her dad telling the kids to get whatever they wanted...that really struck a nerve. My dad used to take me with him to the thrift store, and he also would let me pick out anything I wanted. That was the only store where buying whatever you wanted was okay. Now I'm a diehard thrift store shopper and I do try to control myself, but I think I could still do better. I now realize that I've been trying to recreate that happy feeling.
Amazing insight. Most people never get to that level of insight.
That's a light bulb moment.
I am an compulsive shopper too. I save pictures of products on the web and keep them all in a folder so that I can pretend that I own the item without spending any money. 😂
I do the same thing. I just bought three new purses... :(
Yep me too
Yes..that is basically what Pinterest is.
Me too
Yes this so much! I call it fake shopping. I'll fill my cart or wish list like there's no limit and get the dopamine fix with every click and honestly forget I actually never bought anything. :'D
“If it is on sale and you dont need it, then it is expensive.”
Words of the wise.
Aming Jane yep, I find myself compulsively shopping occasionally. If I buy something and I don’t really need it, I return it. Have saved myself from some regretful purchases.
And it's not what you wear it's the way you wear it! Doesn't matter if you paid £1,000 for it, it doesn't automatically make you look fantastic just because you've paid £1,000 you could buy a dress for £10 and look absolutely stunning in it.
As a minimalist watching this I can´t believe this is the reality for some people. I feel sorry for them, I hope they get help.
why are you a minimalist?
@@vickimerritt2832 because I don't want to spend my life running after money and stuff, it's not important. As a minimalist life is more simple ans stress-free.
I think Dipna should join some sort of a NGO, where she could buy goods for the needy and also she would realise how fortunate she is. It would put her urge for shopping to some good use.
These people should become personal buyers
My heart broke when her kids said “it would be lovely to live in a home, rather than a storage facility” poor kids
my house is the same cause of my mother. oh, so many times I tried. I ended up living isolated in my room, which I constantly declutter.
My heart broke when the one son said he didn't help di anything about it because he doesn't get paid for it. I'm sorry, but Mom doesn't get paid to keep a roof over their heads, cooking their meals, doing their laundry, giving them something comfortable to sleep on instead of the floor and those big comfy chairs they're sitting in, etc. What's wrong with them actually picking up a tool and do the upgrades she started... actually helping her make a decision?
I heard that too, so sad
JustPassing Through It’s is a parent’s responsibility to take care of their child(ren). We should all take care of our children- and to the best of our ability.
@@justpassingthrough9887 No offense, but I don't think you understand. If your parents are hoarders or compulsive shoppers, it doesn't matter if you clean. As long as they have an empty void within them that they are trying to fill, they of junk and shit will continue to grow. You can't stop it and it becomes very depressing and painful. You clean the backyard multiple times a year for them to only keep on bringing random shit they see on the street or estate sale, of stuff they will never use. You dread the annually basement cleanup, when you know that less than a month, it will be filled to the ceiling of crap. You can barely go into your attic. You can barely walk through your kitchen and eat a decent meal in your dining room. You, as a family, have actually stopped eating in the dining room because of their addiction. No matter what you say or do will make them stop, and because you are their child, you are a victim to their addiction. Also remember, she was living in denial, wouldn't admit she was addicted, and avoided major projects by shopping. She needed to go that shed, because she had painful memories connected to those miscarriages. She needed professional help like someone to cry with, other than her children. She was lonely with no friends or spouse and has substituted shopping for that. I believe there was more to the reasoning in which the children would not clean the backyard. Did you notice, unlike that man in the show who had his wife near him, that the children stayed in their room, almost like a safe place/retreat from the chaos that is out of their control. I think that the kids have attempted to clean, but for whatever reason they had been so discouraged, they sit in their room, wishing why they had to live in a storage facility. This situation is way deeper than it seems.
I wouldn't clean it without payment either. It is way to painful to see hard work go to waste. She needs to get help and come to reality and start the process and then the kids will probably join along after they have seen that she has really changed. Cleaning for free is legit like putting something in a pocket with holes, you are not going anywhere with that.
Meanwhile, I want to declutter almost 80% of my clothes and stuff.
I want to be able to fit everything I own (including furniture) into a 13 by 16ft room, so far I could fit all that I own into 15 by 18ft of space comfortably. I do eventually want to be able to fit everything into the 12 by 14ft space that I have and stop using the 3 by 4ft of space of the tool shed. One goal at a time.
Lol I used to actually donate or give away like forty or thirty percent of my stuff like every week. It got to a point where in terms of clothes I deadass had like three T-shirts one coat two jackets and jeans one pair of every day shoes and like four pairs of pjs. I have two large wardrobes in my room.
Donate to those in need... We all need help here in Philippines
Me too!
Im losing weight so I don't have to buy new clothes and just use my old ones. Its working! I can now use 20% more of what I already own
Bad habits, can be replaced by good habits.
It’s crazy how people can judge and have no compassion or understanding of the situation everyone has a addiction to something
A bargain is only a bargain if you need it!
Amanda Nixon i need that tattooed on my forehead
This comment is so underrated
I completely agree. It's completely illogical to buy stuff simply because it's cheap as 99% of the time you won't use it because a purpose for it is not there. You buy the things you need for a particular purpose in your life and find them at the best price. I'm amazed how common sense doesn't come into it.
My 79 yr old dad has told me that for years!
Amanda Nixon exactly!
Usually it's the addicted person who's delusional... so it's interesting to see that Dipna realizes she has a problem, while her father is the delusional one.
It doesn’t make him delusional because he doesn’t agree
my addiction is watching youtube when i have nothing to do 😂😂
@Beauty 99 same here
She's 7500 pounds in debt? She should consider herself lucky. I expected her debt to be 100k+ what with her spending habits.
She has very rich parents!
Thats the amount she's willing to admit. I'll be she has more accounts that she doesn't like to admit to herself.
it is impossible that she is only 7500 pounds in debt with all that stuff just in her room...
She could've sell her chanel bags and be dept free 🤣💔
Doesn't look like she pays for bills..only her car
Loneliness and an unfulfilled life can be seriously damaging
Why I did not procreate and don't understand my parents did.
So true.
Agree
Yes😊
I had an ex that would spend her entire paycheck every payday on a shopping spree, down to nothing, then return all the items one by one as she needed the money for something else. Pointed out how ridiculous this was and she’d get violently angry and refuse to talk about it. Honestly glad we broke up!
That's quite sad. You could have advised her go and see a psychiatrist
@@javedosman7779 I did, she was already angry every time I addressed the issue, just made things worse
That's seriously crazy!
😂😂
@@lethalwolf7455 Rather than tell her to see a psychiatrist, supporting her and helping her find more friends would help more but its ok if you didnt really like her that much and wanted to leave her
As a compulsive shopper that totally diminished my essential savings, I am suffering a chronic illness, and I no longer have the funds to take a break from work. I see the terrible illness within these people.
Best of luck to you❤ life can be tough
I can’t afford this disorder.
Dark Rainbow lol the most enjoyable comment 💕
Either can these people lmao credit cards have people acting rich. Probably gets a bill, stresses out and than goes shopping to feel better. Smh.
Dark Rainbow neither can they, that’s why their in dept
👍 for the comment! I always ask myself if I really need something I gonna buy, sometimes I ask myself twice😎
Lol
I just wouldn’t want all that shit cluttering up my house
I was thinking the same!
Being married to a compulsive spender is horrible. She would drain our checking account and I could not pay the mortgage. I had to isolate her from family finances and listen to her anger as to never having enough money. She declared bankruptcy two years after divorce and now is institutionalized wondering who will care for her pet giraffes.
PET GIRAFFES??????
I echo that- giraffes?!
The psychologist said that pet giraffes were a common delusion.
@@randyrogers8568 Christ Almighty
Yup I’m a compulsive shopper. Spoiled as a kid, and now I spoil myself in material things. I hate it about myself. I have around 40 designer bags, 60 pairs of shoes, way too much makeup and nail polish. I’m not in debt over it, but my savings could be better. I’m married, and can say being married doesn’t fix it, but having a spouse to keep you in check at times can help.
Why don't you takea trip to Africa and entertain yourself helping out orphans and children who have no food or clean water. Or use your money to adopt.
@@martamariotto1181 I donate money to help. We have to help our own country before helping others.
@@martamariotto1181 and why don’t you?
@@Quit3Cut3 I don't have an issue with overspending, with materialism, with not caring about polluting my house and the whole planet. I spend nothing for myself but only what i can to est healthy food. I gave up my car so that i can only walk or cycle. I do help regardless, I go to Africa in person too. But i'm certainly not here to speak about ME.
See? That is your problem: it boils down to SELFISHNESS.
I’m the exact opposite.😂 I was spoiled as a child and now hate materialism. Being broke helps a lot. My little sister on the hand is like you but at level 1 for now. We think she will get a wake up call though when she goes to college. I think another thing that truly helps is that my grandma who played a bigger role in spoiling us then my parents ended up being a covert narcissist. After my grandpa died 3 years ago all those good spoiled childhood years with her mean nothing now.
To overcome my shopping addiction..... I cancelled all mags and catalogs. I cancelled and paid off all credit cards. I never go to malls. When the shop urge hits, I go visit a friend or family member. Another thing that helps is refusing to give in to an addiction
by Beaux Barron I relate to your comment, it’s good to cancel catalogs and avoid the mall, it’s so much easier if you just avoid the temptation alltogether. I have heard people say before that once they saw something at the mall, they would obsess over it until they purchased it. In that case, it is best to avoid the mall and any other temptations alltogether. It’s similar as having a bag of chips in the house, once it is in the house, most will not just have a few, but will eat the entire bag. If you just don’t buy it, there is no temptation.
I can relate. As a bipolar person with mania, I know what if feels like when you just want everything. I have done the same as you. I think your tips are great for non-addicts as well. We should all limit our shopping, we really have enough stuff. I buy when I need things now. With a shopping list. “One hoodie, tree panties” 😂. I hope your post can help some people! I’m sure it will 💕
To Beaux Barron hi! just a question, maybe you can share something that would help but, how do u refuse to give in to an addiction? (Not a medical expert, to me addiction is a disease)
jv mosley one way is to have actual LOUD discussions with yourself. Not in your head. Out loud. But addiction is never easy. You need to have the will to change. If you don’t have that, it is difficult. Then you have to limit your access. Give someone else your credit cards, give them the possibility to pay your bills, and only give you a small amount as a “usable budget” in a week. Or a month. Don’t go to shops. Don’t go to malls. If you grocery shop - HAVE A LIST, and stick to it. Do not buy anything that is not on that list. No matter what you feel like, you don’t need it, otherwise it would have been on that list. But everything stems from the will to change. The same with food, drinking, drugs.. but yeah. It will never be an easy fix for addiction, only hard work and determination. Sending love, I hope you can make a change 💕
@@trude8073 thank you so much for your thoughts! Guess am a weakling! You are right!! Dont have that willpower! to be honest, its the urge!.. things that I want instead of what I need you know... wish there is something that can twist my brain 180° and walk away from it but, it's really hard, help doesn't make it easy too, only makes me getting good staring at walls......yeah.....well, it is what it is! Cheers then, wish u all the best!
I discovered the JOY of minimalism two years ago. Oh the sweet satisfaction of having less!
Organised house organised mind.
@@mikaelanordin2767 , understand the psychology of shopping: the thrill does not last at all..I used to get all fired up to go shopping, but when I got home and the things were put on and packed away, I became disappointed at the fact that the euphoria left. After many cycles, I realized that the acquisition of things was just that...my mental status, joy could not depend on that. For all the things I had ever purchased, if joy was to be based on my possessions , I should have been OVERjoyed...but I wasn't. So I decided to channel my energy into reducing, giving away, making others happy at receiving. The more I gave away, the lighter it has become. I hope to move houses soon and I am sure I will get a world record for the most sparse residence! But oh the joy!
Yes! I hate clutter!
The guy has wife who is struggling with his addiction....The women dont have anyone....Probably men dont tolerate it, but women may tolerate lazy guy, with addiction.
Alecia Sawyers Same here. It makes life so much happier.
I used to be like this. My turning point was when I realized that I was powerless about something integral in my life, in which spending gives me the artificial powerful feeling, to cope with it. I healed through honest reflection and determination to have a good future. Altered habit needs discipline though, it doesn't happen in a day.
Thank you for your authenticity,its so difficult to identify something in ourselves and make a change.
I've recognised my over spending and I am making changes x
Expensive housing, expensive education, childcare, food, healthcare which most countries don't even have government subsidies to cover these.
Recently I've been really interested in investing into cryptocurrency, but it's strange how people talk about all the profits they have been making through trading of bitcoin. While am here not making any profit at all, please can someone put me through on the right path or at least tell me what I'm doing wrong?.
Cryptocurrency and Forex trading is a big chance to make money nowadays. if you can't see that at this point in time, learn more about it.
@@jamesmarcus4105 Choosing to invest in bitcoin is the best decision anyone can make with the right approach, it works.
@@carsoncordelli9557 That's true, most people today has been having a lot of failure in forex and crypto sector because of poor orientation and lack of experience.
@@alanfuller7176 that was my case till I came across Bella
I can spend an entire day in a shopping mall and walk out empty handed. I don't want ANYTHING!
I was going to say the same thing. I don’t want things, I have enough!
Wow its almost like you dont have a compulsive mental illness WOW!
Wow Gold star for u 😂😂
ive actually done that before. Also ive gone to a mall with a mindset of only one store and a couple of things and im totally do the one store only and the couple of things only no more. Money isnt a problem i make good money. its not the amount its the principle and this is ridiculous.
I only wanted to roam around thats all ahahsh
And here I am wrecking my brain over whether or not to spend ten bucks on myself......
I made the plunge lol. I spent 20 bucks on cologne and a diy painting. I won’t spend another 20 for three months 🤣🤣😒
What kind of cologne ?
Simon Herrera it’s called Cuba gold. It’s a French cologne. It smells really good.
@@Dataisthetruth so glad you did!
Lu Bu me
When I don't do shopping, I feel so depressed. It's a way for me to escape from my worries
How about making an episode on people addicted to watching shows like this?
With Dipna... She blames her parents for spoiling her... which is partially how she came to be the way she is, but as an adult you have to take responsibility for your own life/problems.
Yes, I agree. Think of people that suffered from things as terrible as emotional, physical, and sexual abuse at the hands of their parents throughout their childhood. I don't know any percentages, but many of them do what is necessary and difficult to have a happy, functional, and healthy adult life.
She comes across as a 16-year old, not as a 30-year old woman...
@J T Don't you think since she is an only child, that the parents really want to keep her their so she will take care of them when they are old? She's 30 and they have never let her grow up.
She needs some stern discipline in her life... I have some ideas...
J T | who says their family is poor?
now i need to watch minimalism videos to cleanse my soul
Lol
😂
Dean is maturing like he should have years ago. You've got quite the woman, Dean, she's a gem. She must love you a tremendous amount. Don't lose her!
In 2016, I gave up shopping and solo traveled 9 countries instead. Best decision ever.
We do the same. Travel and save, and save to travel.
I'm so different. I walk around huge stores & hardly buy anything. I always think, where am I going to put this? Do I really need this? Do I want to spend the money? There's no end to the cute stuff you can buy so how are you ever satisfied???
I hear you, at 37 i still don't use credit cards and every thing i own is paid for up front. I feel bad for those that struggle with compulsive shopping it sounds like a prison.
Wtf he is letting his dog chase sheep. I take it he doesn’t realize that the farmer can legally shoot that dog
Same. I'm pretty cheap and I don't like having so much stuff because it makes it hard to stay organized.
I feel the same, I don't like to buy things because I know in the end I'm gonna be unhappy with the purchase / feel as though it was unneeded and feel guilty.
I go by the saying "if it's not broken, don't fix it.". Plus if I do buy something and it's part of a set or collection or whatever, I know I would be sucked in and temped to buy more.
I love to window shop! It costs nothing and I bring home nothing.
I think people are empty inside and they're trying to give a meaning to their existence by accumulating Stuff. So sad
Yeah. So sad. They need professional help. 😢
yes exactly.thats me
you desperately try to fill a void
Sounds just like a hoarder as well. Push people out, pull inanimate objects in. So sad!
This is true
I can relate to being lonely. I was very lonely in college. The college was a 10 min walk to the mall. I enjoyed walking around, but thankfully never bought much. I guess you could say walking around the mall gave me happiness.
I want to point out how incredibly Brave all the people on the show are for allowing someone to come into their life and critique them in hopes of bettering themselves. If you looked around your house and saw it over filled with things I think the natural response would be to hide it from the world. I have questioned myself whether I have a shopping addiction and I cannot imagine letting someone come in here and film my home and bring it to light in front of everyone. Bless all of you for being so brave and courageous and trying to make your life a better life. I wish you to overcome your hurdles and to find peace and happiness in your life.
I'm rather surprised that Dene (his stage name was Dene Michael) allowed himself and his wife to be filmed - they got nailed for welfare fraud in about 2016. I'm not sure that I'd want to be very public about myself in that case. I commented elsewhere that they're not necessarily terrible people, but I'd be super-embarrassed.
I relate to the “spoiled girl” I was raised like that too, you learn that to show someone love you buy things and the only way to give yourself any love is buying things!! When I’m stressed or lonely I also find myself looking at stuff online, luckily I am self aware and can stop myself like 95% of the time lol
Find new ways of loving ur self spoil brat
OMG I can so relate!
That is such a great way to put it
She's not a girl, she's THIRTY for Christ's sake.
I love the adverts. Encouraging people to get a personal shopper! Lol
Oh the irony of so many advertisements to buy something on a show about obsessive shopping.
IKR!?! 🤦I just commented on it a few minutes ago and now I see your comment!💁
Ugh. The ads drive me nuts. I'm all "skip, skip, skip..."
I was getting ads for auction apps and cash advance apps 😕
You know what else is ironic and also morbid? Fast food advertisements on documentaries on morbid obesity
Deep.
I used to have this problem. I worked it my own solution. I found some local charities. Now I go shopping at bargain stores all over the region and buy basics to donate. I spend about $10 every week on toothbrushes, toothpaste, deodorant and lotion costing no more than $10. I do not go home! I go directly to the agency I've chosen for that week. Then I treat myself to a modestly priced meal. 1) My shopping desire is fulfilled. 2) I stay within my set budget. 3) Nothing comes into my home. 4) I have a feeling of accomplishment and satisfaction. and I've made friends with the volunteers at the charities.
3:17 surprising, I could relate to this. I felt empty without having anything to look forward to so ordering something online and expecting it to arrive any day gives me a bit of joy.
Has anyone called you a Narcissist or Histrionic?
I ask because the sense of emptiness.
Sad, dipna grew up dependent on her parents, they didnt teach her how to be wise and think about her actions. To be 30 and act like a child really hurts to watch.
Yeah, who even bought the bs she said about wanting to live with, more like live off her parents forever. She's so delusional I have a hard time believing.
Her Dad has no clue on how addictions work
I agree Deepthia needs to sell her stuff and pay off her debt.
Her dad just wants to get her married off so her husband has to deal with her issues. 🙈
Mike K. No, both parents are just enabling her.
I can't picture any guy wanting to marry her... not with what she'd cost him.
That girl in the beginning should open a vintage boutique with all that stuff.
So she could make so much money and pay off her debt.
Yeah thats not illegal at all /s. and yeah like the girl with that insane of an addiction would do that. Lets just have her delusional parents make her do that, oh right they dont listen to logic and believe any lie she says. Like shes doing all this to stay at home with her family, not because of the addiction LMFAO
Posh mark
Yes. or Carousell
Girl with green scarf idea :-)
@@mikemendez3778 Illegal? There's multiple perfectly legit apps/websites that let you do just that.
The proof that less is more. I hope they overcome their addiction🧡 They are genuinely good people
I stopped clipping coupons because I caught myself buying things I would never have before, simply to try and because I had a coupon and a "good deal." Even if cheap, it cost money I would not normally spend, so it wasn't cheap at all! I also throw out sales papers, etc., and won't even look unless there's something in particular I'm looking for.
Never cared for shopping in stores my whole life, but when Amazon came on the scene, that was my addiction. I have it under control now, but it was bad for about 5 years. I got addicted to seeing a box on my porch and I live in an area with no porch pirates, so didn't have that problem. I have every kitchen gadget and kitchen machine you could ever imagine (yes, one day I felt I needed an electric nut grinder!) and lots of towels. When I look at them all I laugh now. Be careful people. Save money for your retirement. It comes sooner than you would imagine. You can recover.
Sat here eating a tub of chocolate spread, now wanting that electric nut grinder 😂
I had exactly the same problem than you with private online sales. I unsubscribed from all of them but it is/was always very tempting to go back and see what they sell at the moment ! I own all materials for almost any sport!😅
It's a bit like me when I online shop but then I see the total and I'm like :O and it just stays in my basket or wishlist or save for later
Wow I do this a lot on alieexpress
i like doing that too 😂
Wishlists are defenitly the best thing ever! You place the items on it, let them sit as long as you think about it and later you realise that, at least, 90% of that stuff weren't even interesting in the first place.
Same here. I have several pages of saved for later.
Lets get to 1mill without vids thats me!! 🤣
I would LOVE to see a follow-up on these 3 compulsive shoppers -- I'm one myself and I would like to know how others deal with the problem. Please revisit these 3 very nice people, with a very sad problem!
Fill the void with a good habbit.
I think it fills a void. It’s not about the stuff it’s about feeling good
The father is an enabler. He's taught her shopping is self love. 😢
Yes, he is making excuses for her bad behavior. Still the little princess.
Totally enabling😶
I love him. He reminds me of my dad.
Dipna would be deemed "old" in her community and I imagine she is also being put under a lot of pressure about that. They usually get married and have children very young, before 25 . I really hope she met a nice man and had lots of lovely children.
so what would you have taught her self love *is* ?
easy to criticize when u don't have a better answer
im the opposite... its hard for me to spend money, i never buy useless stuff or things i dont need i always think " i worked so hard for this money, x amount of hours, would i really work 10, 20, 30 hours to buy this??" and then im like "NO."
space raider there’s something called being cheap too 🤪🤗
@@jlortizdk not really, ill happily pay more for quality and a product that lasts a longer time as i see it as an investment, i just dont buy stuff i dont need.. at least i got money in the bank, the same cannot be said for most people
And then when you die, the state will get most of it.
@@snoopyandmuffmuffin5358 yes if you dont have a family or spouse (btw in my culture its shameful not to leave an inheritance to your children or not to leave anything to your wife if you die, this is something you are expected to do), but i only said i dont buy useless stuff :) that doesnt mean i dont spend on USEFUL stuff or things that will improve my life, for example instead of buying crap, id rather save up money and invest in in renovating my home/house, buy a better, more reliable and safer car, take lessons to learn a new skill, buy high quality clothes that last a long time, travel etc. and i like investing and watching my money grow, life is much less stressful if you have a large emergency fund, you dont have to worry about the future and stress yourself out, you dont ever have to take loans or have credit cards etc. you dont have to worry about not having enough money for retirement or healthcare bills, and many other things
space raider good for you! That’s how everyone should be, conscious consumers. Then the world wouldn’t be so unfair and polluted.
I love the way Jasmine really wants to understand the actual reason of people's disorder, she is able to go into depth with them. (I would be distracted by all of that stuff all of the time, thinking "hey, you could resell that and make a ton of money!")
I don’t think it’s ever about shopping. It’s about a sense of safety. People come people leave, often times leaves us with scars we can’t even heal. I always say my clothes never left me, they never judged me nor broke my heart, all they did was making me beautiful and wait for me at homes. they are the ones stood by me no matter what happens. So no, it’s never about shopping. It’s a feeling of, I know they will never leave me when everyone leaves
As a minimalist, I enjoy series like this. Weird.
I am a minimalist and enjoy it too
Me too 🙊. It motivates me to declutter
Helps me to reassure myself it's better to have less stuff and more inner peace. And house plants.
Me too i love watching his but i literally throw everything out
OMG, you're like so random and quirky!
Rich people problems; I get anxiety and panic attacks even thinking about swiping my credit card or clicking "check out".
A lot of the issue is Credit Card use. Young folks get approved for high limit cards and are not tought how to control their spending. Its terribly sad.
same here
they are not rich. Dipna is using credit and in debt.
I remember being high.. and maxing my credit card in 6 months just ordering food lol god I have been a fool.. atleast these guys have things to show for their spending. All I did was get high and binge eat.. lol god I hate myself
I dont own a credit card but i get anxiety just by browsing n checking the prices of groceries.
Prices is still going up.
I have the same addiction. For two years I have been investing in myself and I have been in therapy for a whole year- 3 days a week. It is absoluut true that this addiction condition is trying to fill in the pain, emptyness and loneliness of whatever. I was born out of two alcoholic parents. My whole youth was troubled and filled with survival. Both my parents have died. It was pure horror for me. But due to my journey of self awareness and self love I am I in a very good place now. Without my dear husband and daughter, close family and friends who stood beside me these years I could not have been able to achieve what I have reached so far. ❤ I am a very grateful person and I am as good as free of the demons that hunted me for the biggest part of my life.
It's so nice to read you've been able to grow so much.
This is such an important message for people to hear and see. It's an addiction so many people ignore or don't want to acknowledge. Thank you
After seeing Dean's story play out, I can't help but wonder if he has a hidden or past gambling issue. He seems to be addicted to "winning", not shopping.
Yes that's what I think too. He has zero interest in the item once the package is opened, not even for a few seconds. He opened one package and immediately handed it to his wife, then grabbed the next parcel. That's fucked up. He has a big addiction and like you say, it's gambling, or thrill of the hunt. He doesn't really want the stuff he's buying
Too bad he couldnt be addicted to selling on ebay instead. Get that bread Dean. Flip that crap!
I got that impression too. Compulsive shopping seems more like a spectrum & he seems more of a gambler-style shopping addict
I understand Dipna and I can relate. Often when you have strict parents they tend to show love in a way that says they will provide everything for you. Often you become isolated, have few to little friends and rewards or love is shown in material things. Often those parents are hardworking but super detached because they are working hard to provide. The only constant you have is "shopping" u don't learn to make any other relationship. I get it, because that's my life. Its kinda lonely but change is possible. I try focus on charity work for a reality check.
My life exactly!
ditto 10000%
I have lovely parents who were so hard working. They divorced when I was very young and always bought me basically anything I ever wanted. Now that I'm in my 40's, I'm terrified of commitment, and shopping has always been a huge part of my life. Now I'm out of money and have a daughter to put through college. I'm so scared of this massive hole I have placed myself in. I completely relate to Dipna and everyone on this program. Fezile, I love your idea of charity work.
Astute observation.
Fezile Sikhakhane Dang I really get that my parents worked really hard when they got to America to give me and my siblings good lives, they also tell me buy whatever you want. They're really strict about what I can do and never let me hang out with my friends from school. Luckily I have my cousins who are my best friends and I also have my relationship with God so I don't feel like I need much things
I lost my daughter recently and I find myself going to thrift stores and buying ’project’ pieces then having to buy the tools or equipment I need to complete then I loose my steam and feel overwhelmed in my own home so I have to get out and end up repeating the cycle. I get a little serotonin hit thinking of the ideas of what I could do.
Oh I'm so sorry for your loss. I don't know how I'd be if I lost a child. Get help if you need it. Take care xo
persons find joy in shopping just to feel themselves happy and contented...
sometimes they dont have anyone with whom they can share their feelings...
By indulging themselves in shopping, they somewhere heal their souls....to find pleasure internally🌹
You stole my words to express what shopping does to some people. I am the same but in control sometimes not disorder thing.
I am the same.I dont have friends nor a partner,my parents constantly criticize me,so....what makes me happy is shopping :)
I’m starting my minimalist journey and I watch these shows to help me.
Minimalism is the wayyyyy makes everything simpler and easier hope it’s going well xx
Girl. Same!!
It will simplify your life so much!
Good luck! I hope it’s going well!
Good for you! I'm now at a point where I enjoy getting rid of things more than buying something
When stuff replaces people. Tragic
When stuff does not replace people. More Tragic.
Ebony was quite sad in that respect. clearly she longed for a partner
When people are full of neurosis that they are unaware of and they spew it all over everyone and don’t thinks it’s a problem and never delve into it, get help for, grow up from it, stuff seems pretty good but really it’s not. Projects and gaining skills is pretty awesome. Exploring is awesome. Cats also are awesome. They aren’t neurotic.
@@daniellikahong exactly...I have found that once my mom passed I have gained more material things😢
Shopping helps me to overcome stress, forget pain. It's therapeutic.
I used to shop too much shoes bags and clothes. Then I started a business reselling them. So I get the rush of shopping but I don't keep the stuff and I make profit. It's worked for me. Now I've gotten to a point where I rarely buy anything I don't need.
I was a shopaholic, I was alone in a big city. My bf who didn’t love me left the country, I felt ugly, I had acne and my circle didn’t respect me, the roommates were talking behind my back, I didn’t like my job, and I had a credit card.
Hope it changed. You dont need people who dont respect you in your life. and you definitely can't replace people with things..
Give food to a homeless on your way to work or back, watch his face light up.. It helps really, knowing that you are able to help someone who is not so fortunate.
Камилла Аильчиева I can sympathise, I am also alone in the big city and, at one point I also used shopping to just cheer myself up a bit...I managed to nip it in the bud, thank goodness.
Not actually selling yourself you do know . For you putting you down does it make you feel better when you ie eat more our shop more because yourself worth is so low . Does not matter if you in the city our desert its not abot the environment its about you loving you . Until you change your frame of mind
My mum is a compulsive shopper and might have to file for bankruptcy for a second time. Only recently was she diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Compulsive shopping is almost always a symptom of something bigger.
Hope she gets help now
Same❤
I am also a compulsive shopper and I have bipolar disorder too. Wouldn’t wish it on anybody.
@@tamzin00 I used to have a bipolar friend (unemployed) who used to spend like mad and was in terrible debt with cards and household bills. I often wondered whether it was related.
I suffer from schizoaffective disorder and I have only recently got round to shopping for essentials. I am more relaxed about spending money today whilst before I had to save absolutely everything.
I shop experiences but I could see how this can become addictive. Im addicted to spa’s, travel and dining out- also expensive 😩😭
If you want to help them, don't try to understand them with normal perspective, this is something that makes them happy just like; travelling, eating, gossiping, clubbing, drinking, working. You can't just expect them to stop altogether and realize the damage
They are filling an emotional void
Very true.
An emotional void for some, or a coping mechanism. Or maybe they're the same thing?
meanwhile
me: i love to go shopping.
money: i cant support you with that.
Banks: hold our credit card
I spend about 5percent of my salary on shopping and I see it as a problem because it's not about how much you spend, it's just about having that itch to keep checking apps and scrolling endlessly. Feeling irritable when you try to keep away and just going back to it. I don't have debt and I have savings but I'm still controlled by the urge. It's definitely a problem I have to work on.
Shopping gives you a high (momentarily) and it makes you forget how much you are hurting inside (for the moment) and when that wears off then you are back again If someone says all I have is shopping then you are seeing a very empty person and a very sad life and someone who does not like themselves " NO matter where you go there you are "
This behaviour comes out from depression.
Amy Mizuno I agree with you
@@ohmeowzer1 thank you.
They started shopping and hoarding because they were depressed and now they can't get out of that fog of depression because of their hoarding and shopping issues. I think that its important to consider that just because you suffer from depression doesn't mean that you can't take responsibility for any habits ( or traits ) that are contributing to the destructive behavior. In my opinion once people say the word depression they forget that other variables exist ( like coping skills and life experiences) to create an unhappy environment idk if that makes sense I hope it does what I really meant to say is yes depression can create these issues but depression alone is not the cause of hoarding.
Not always
and just bored with their lives
If I was the wife of Dean, I would be selling all that stuff online for a higher price and making $$$ in the process! Problem solved! Dean himself admitted that he forgets all about the items once they are stored away.
She's better off divorcing him. He's in his own world anyway, dragging them both down.
I guess this would be a quick fix - but at what cost? I wouldn´t be able to stick to a person who makes such terrible financial choices!
But they're older people, he's clearly learnt to use ebay etc. But she may not be computer literate. Plus he may be/was the bread winner in which case it is his money. And it's unlikely shd'd get a higher price anyway, and with p+p costs still a loss.
@@AsterDisaster would you say that about every mental and physical illness? because many chronic illnesses (both mental and physical) are difficult on both the person affected and their partner, but that doesn't mean those people don't deserve to be in loving relationships because they're ill.
I had the same thought.
A common thread among all of them seemed to be striking immaturity and a consistent avoidance of reality. So sad to see and what a waste of resources and of a life. So glad to see Dene reclaim his life and find real joy, not temporary fixes with the next buy.
These shows are like medicine for me when I think about buying something I don't need
THIS DOCUMENTARY JUST GAVE ME A PANIC ATTACK.
And it's crazy how they just laugh it off while showing all the nonsense they blow money they dont even have on!
@@jomama8984 that's because they are delusional and not thinking like a normal person. You must understand that right!? :)
I’m shocked!
It's made me think that my spending isn't so bad after all I might look online later, lol.
I think my addiction (I'm pretty sure I can call it that) to buying clothes comes from being relentlessly bullied at school when I was younger because of the clothes I wore. My family were poor and couldn't afford much, so I'd often be in clothes that were poorly fitting and horribly unfashionable- just whatever my parents could afford.
Now I earn a reasonable salary I spend most of my money on clothes. I have a spare room filled with them, and still there isn't enough space. I'm talking wardrobes full, clothes all over the floor, a constantly full washing basket because I know if I wash the clothes I have to find space for them...
It actually stresses me out so much, but I keep seeing a beautiful dress on eBay and thinking "Maybe THIS will be the dress that makes me feel pretty!" It never is...
(Thanks, this was therapeutic. What cheery stuff for a Friday evening!)
Nicola Mack i had a similar thing.
I was bullied as well as my mom was a poor single mom. I even wore some old jeans of hers and stuff from thrift stores and was bullied.
I later on bought a lot of clothes. I learned avoiding eBay and Amazon and malls helped me to not shop so much.
Thank-You for your honesty. We were poor as well. nothing in the home to make it feel like a home. I realized just now, that that is why I feel as though I have to fill my space with pretty things bought from the thrift store. because I don't feel bad about a couple bucks here and there but it does add up.
I have similar experience. My mom was a single mom of three and came from poor family, so I think she just didn't really consider buying us new clothes. I wasn't bullied, but a lot of my school friends were constantly taken for shopping with families, buying nice dresses every weekend. Although it sounds silly now, as a teenager I envied them and just felt bad about myself and my appearance. I never caught myself in being addicted to shopping, but later in life I realized, that I buy more clothes than I need in order to feel better and to cover up my complexes. It was so nice to finally have my own money and could spend it on nice dresses I couldn't get as a child. I also get easily bored with old purchases and if I don't feel my outfit some days, my mood is getting so bad. It's so sad that it is never enough.
Do you feel comfortable / free to weed out your closet as you buy new things? That might help a bit with feeling overwhelmed by the amount of clothes you don’t have a place to put.
I feel you so much. I grew up being bullied and my parents could afford only second hand rags from thirty years ago. I keep at bay my clothes addiction but I would never be able to buy secondhand clothes.
So this is 4years old, but Dipna is sooo cute. I felt so sad when she questioned what she’d do without shopping and that there’d be no life without it. I’m only 5 mins into this documentary but I feel like if there are healthy hobbies in your life, some different people in your life (friends, community) and some other purpose aside from work (hiking, baking, courses) then maybe it would help people with this addiction. I myself get quite addicted and have extreme highs and lows. But I’m trying my best to behave. Good luck to everyone with this issue ❤
Ebony should become a personal shopper for others with her keen eye for bargains.
After watching this video I uninstalled online shopping app. I want to determine from today I will start saving rather than shopping in unwanted items.
I m happy you are doing that.i have so many clothes that i dont wear yet,i gave to some friends sometimes,becoz i feel sick when my house full of stuff that i dont really need.
Good Job
I went from buying designer clothes and every month with my advertising job salary to not buying any clothes. My daily outfit in my new life in a village in Bali is shorts covered with patches. I really don't think I need to buy more clothes.
Priti good luck hope that’s going well x
Priti I need to do that with TH-cam.