Appreciate you guys a ton! Thanks for making stuff that makes people think. Also, if someone is reading this in the comments make sure to go watch their video I mentioned in this video! It's called "Five things guys need to stop doing to girls."
Loved how you talked about women having their own worth outside of being someone's daughter, sister, etc. I've never thought of it that way but it's so true! Love your videos Jeff :)
I am one of those many thousands watching your videos who has been affected by this issue, and I just wanted to say thank you for making this video. Being assaulted leaves a person with a lot of guilt, and I really appreciate all of those people who remind us that it is not our fault. Also, thank you for speaking out on the porn issue also... too many times, porn and assault go hand in hand together, and with porn being so easily accessed today, it is no wonder that we hear about so many cases of sexual assault, whether towards men or women. To anyone else who has been assaulted, just remember - We are strong, and with God's help, we will not let the incident define our lives.
I seriously loved how you explained transferring our sin to Jesus and giving it to him. That part of the video how you explained it gave me chills. I've heard this so many times and I believe it but how you explained it really got to me. Also, please keep speaking truth and thank you for caring enough to speak about these topics. Thank you and also anyone out there who has been hurt and sexually abused- You are a treasure and nothing that has happened to you could ever taint you. You are pure, loved, and a treasure. Jesus has washed us white as snow. Anything that makes you feel dirty or unworthy is a lie-so reject that lie because you are loved.
I was a christian once. I believed because I was a child ignorant of my senses, not knowing fiddle squat about the SCIENTIFIC METHOD. Not knowing Jack diddly about history. Science saves lives, it's the light in our homes, the heat in our Ovens and microwaves, the proof through the science says that there is no need for a god, so there probably isn't a god. It's all very complex and takes time, but it's not a waste of your time like religion is. Funny enough, you can't have the word lie without the word religious and you can't have the word lie about the word Bible. Jesus Christ, is an invention by the Roman aristocrats. Read the book covert messiah by Joseph Atwill It explains why people Believe in Jesus If your so confident in your Jesus, what's a challenge to your mind if your so confident? Look up sexist bible quotes, look up prayer study results. Not from s christian website, their evil liars who only care about brainwashing good people like this evil prick on TH-cam I wasted a decade fearing God, only to learn there is no God. There's nothing wrong with dying and never existing again. It's called morality. It's life. Don't be narcissistic and egocentric and think that you're so special to somebody fucking created you. Look up the word contradiction, you'll find over 700 of them in the original testament. It condones rape and pedophiles. The bible is the root of all evil.
Justin Jones its not about religion or churches. this is created by men! We dont believe in religion! our saviour is god! no one other! and with god i mean the father the son and the holy spirtit.
Justin Jones hmm well the root of all evil is money. Can America live without money? Can any country live without money? Hell no! And money itself is a system made by humans to keep you in chains yet you still live in such system. The root of all evil is not religion, its mankind and their creations such as money, nuclear weapons, wars and so on...
Our culture - and, to be honest, Christian culture specifically - is so good at victim-blaming, and that drives me crazy. There's something to be said for dressing modestly...but there's also something to be said for girls being able to wear something without having to think about how a boy will react to her outfit. It is so frustrating to me when people's first response to sexual assault is "well, were you alone at night?" "were you intoxicated?" "what were you wearing?" It is never the victim's fault. A victim should not have to answer for the actions of someone else. (Sorry for the potential male-assault-erasure. I certainly don't mean to imply that men don't get assaulted, or that their assault is less important. I am a female, and therefore I use female examples. This applies to, affects, and is important for men, women, and those outside the gender-binary alike).
Uh, no. No no no. This is still victim-blaming. Saying "it was her bad decisions that got her raped" IS putting the fault on her. "Bad" decisions do not excuse the actions of someone else. A person should be able to get blackout drunk without having to worry about other people taking advantage of that person - in any form, sexual or otherwise. Being drunk is not an invitation for anything to happen. I'm not saying that getting blackout drunk is a good decision (because a lot of alcohol can have bad side effects on a person's heath and wellbeing). I'm saying that getting blackout drunk is NOT an excuse for someone to be taken advantage of. On the flip-side, being completely intoxicated is not an excuse to take advantage of somebody. Rape is rape, and the fault needs to lie in the person who raped, and NEVER in the person who WAS raped. You're right that there are measures that can be taken to stop something before it happens. It's all about teaching people what consent looks like, and what rape looks like, and the difference between the two. It's about focusing on teaching people how to not rape, and NOT how to not BE raped. A person is in responsible for his or her own actions, and should not be responsible for the actions of someone else.
Lindsay Covington Unfortunately we live in a world where regardless if you teach people to not rape it will still happen so everyone should also be taught on how to avoid it the best the possibly can.
bethismagical333 You're right, and that's the catch-22, because we DO have to teach people how to protect themselves, which sucks. It's much easier, and sometimes more effective, to teach people how to protect themselves. I 100% advise people to be cautious in potentially dangerous situations. But I don't have to be *satisfied* with a world like that. I'm continually praying for a world where we value the health and wellbeing of victims regardless of their situation, and we place the blame solely on the perpetrators, regardless of their situation.
WOAH. I literally was JUST praying hard about these issues. Particularly healing...i log onto facebook, and this is the first thing that popped up. I'm also a victim and ALSO someone close to my heart is struggling horribly with severe porn addiction and this just felt like you were literally speaking to me. God is so good. Thank you Jesus!
I was molested too at the age of 5 or 6 by my mother boyfriend, I would always break down and cry because I felt dirty and guilty feeling like it was my fault. Years passed by, and it stopped when I got older like the age or 8 or 7, than I found Christ and he helped me through all of my pain and sufferings. I forgave him even though he never apologized, he act as if nothing happened, but I realized that we have to move on and forgive the people who hurt you. I love God for healing me and my life 😊
Forgiving a person for molesting or raping you is a very hard thing to do,especially when they sit up and pretend like nothing never happened and are non-forgiving themselves, not a forgiving bone in their body. I don't even know how or where to begin forgiving my ex.
Sonja M. I know, it was hard it took me years, It use to make me mad when he sit up and act like nothing ever happened like you said. My mother always told me if he ever touched me as a little girl I was scared to say yes bcuz I thought I would get in trouble. My mother use to hit me too and verbally so I thought she would hit me
Hey... This was such an encouragement. My sister has been going through this sort of situation for 5 months. My family has been having such a rough time and because of a family member sexually harassing my sister, it has turn my family upsidedown. I am only 17 and the only Christian in my family. I really appreciate this video!! :)
Thanks for sharing. I too am part of that 30,000. While I know all the things you said in the video to be true, my heart doesn't usually beleive them. Grateful to have another voice proclaiming truth on such a heartbreaking topic. I will play it on repeat when I feel myself getting lost in the shame.
Thank you for this Jefferson Bethke! I have been watching your videos for years and they always speak straight to my spirit. I have overcome a sexual assault. I'm a sailor in the Navy, and was assaulted by a shipmate. I struggled for a long time with it, but I am no longer a victim and am now going through the motions to use my experience to help other female sailors deal with their assaults. Your "Sexual Healing" video really spoke to me while I was healing. I just want to let you know that you are spot on with this video and I love the message. Thank you for being such an inspiration! Praise God!
Wow. My name is Jessica, I’m 25 and live in Washington State. I have a rough past full of porn, a Dad cheating and leaving my mom and us 5 kids, getting pregnant at 15 years old, giving myself away too more men than I even want to count or remember, and being raped. Funny thing is, i grew up in and was raised in church, went to private school most of my life and still have had to work through mess after mess. A guy I was recently dating introduced me to your channel and I just stumbled across this video. I was nudged to get your book and ended up getting the audio version.... I started it this morning and just finished. I weeped years through all 5 hours of it. I feel like you guys were talking right to me. Like God seriously planned all of that for me to hear. I have been so broken by repeating my destructive patterns and only wanting to be married and trying so hard and continually failing. Definitely in a season of waiting. Thank you guys so much for all you do
Hi Jeff! Let me begin by saying thank you for making this video. Too many people are afraid of this topic because of how dark of a subject it is, but in order to make a change for the better we all need to be aware of how these things affect the world around us. I personally have never experienced these things, but my cousin has from the time she was a toddler until 16 years of age. She tried to kill herself on multiple occasions, and after her last attempt in June of last year, she decided to seek help. She has been at a place which focuses solely on God for healing women who have had traumatic experiences and it has absolutely changed her life. Only through Jesus are we ever able to give our troubles away and truly be happy. She comes home in two weeks, and I will definitely be showing her this! Thank you for all that you do. You touch so many lives! God bless you!
I know this is an old video and you might never see this, but this happened to me. Hearing these words has given me a new hope and anew found desire to run back to Jesus. Thank you
This is incredible. One of my favorite videos from you. I especially liked the part at 2:17 when you spoke about how people often say "That's someone's daughter." etc. Thank you!!!
Great video! I am a mother who worries for her children each day . I worry that some stranger will come along and hurt them like the girl in your letter. My heart breaks for all these men and women who have been hurt like this . I think its great that you are sharing the gospel and these videos will change lives .
To someone who was sexually, and verbally abused it was huge for me to hear that it was not my fault and that I didn't do anything to deserve that abuse. For years I struggled with that and thought I wasn't lovable. God changed that and he gave me an amazing man who constantly reminds me of how I beautiful I am and how much I am loved. Thank you for this video Jeff. More people need to hear this.
This is coming at a perfect time. As a mom of a beautiful daughter who has been sexually abused - this touches not only my heart - but my soul! What you have said and what the young lady says in her letter is so true. I have repeated those same words to my daughter multiple times. I also told her to not carry the guilt and shame of who abused her. That is his burden to carry. I am definitely going to share this video on my Facebook page. I have just met a woman on FB who is walking this walk with her daughter. I am hoping to be a shoulder for her and her family. I pray this video gives her strength and strength to the millions out there who have been harmed by another person's actions.
I learn a lot from watching your videos even though I'm a Muslim I think its great to learn and connect with other people from other religions. Thank you for sharing your thoughts God bless.
Hearing and watching this has helped me so much. I was raped by my ex Christian boyfriend. And I think that you are honestly one of the first people to talk so openly and so real. Thank you so much!! You really don't understand how much this has helped me on my journey to healing
God knows exactly when to place a word in your direction! I recently was in a domestic violence situation that involved sexual cues and have been sexually assaulted in the past. I have gotten through a lot of obstacles but still some days have a sense of helplessness and overall feeling lost and confused. I'm building my relationship with God more than ever but I still have days where it's very hard to keep the good faith. This video really helped me get out of my mood today and for that I am soooo grateful! Bless, Kayla
This is exactly what I needed at the moment! Thank you so much for having posted about this subject Jeff! I am eternally grateful, I just ordered "Rid of my Disgrace" in hopes of healing and forgiving what happened 10 years ago.
I have been in therapy for my own childhood experiences and nothing has helped heal me like when you said, "It's not your fault". I've been told that many times before but still find myself saying, "What if...". Thank you for bringing awareness to this subject. I love your work and the message you spread.
Thank you for this. I was raped when I was 15 at a party. I had never been to a party and it was my first time drinking. The 6 guys were very popular and they weren't my usual crowd to be around. The next day everyone was calling me whore and making fun of me. I remember every single detail and at times it gets to me, but the first time I went back to church after it happened that pastor was talking about "bad things happen to good people for a reason" I felt like I was meant to be there to hear that message that day. I began to talk to other people about what happened to me and they told me there storied and I tried my hardest to make them feel like they were not alone. God really is amazing and I know I am meant for something great regardless of how the world sees me. I've been raped, abused by my husband, and abused mentally by my peers. But I take all of this as a lesson in life. God has changed my life in more ways than I can count!
I was sexually assaulted about 2 years ago and I cannot help but to thank those who support and encourage people who have been in this position. I think the hardest part is definitely trying to find a reason to not blame myself. I've been through therapy, meds, church, to reading memoirs. Of course I've also been on a path of destruction where I've exposed myself to sin and temptation; I've said yes to it all. However, I am reminded day by day that the grace of God is all I need. As I continue this road of becoming spiritually healed I can only say that just when I've given up, god shed his light on me and reminds me that he's not done with me yet.
This is probably one of my favorite videos of yours. Great job! Ever thought about starting a series where you discus subjects like this or what people might be struggling with? (I.e. self-harm, familial abuse, sexual identity, etc)
Beautifully spoken and inspirationally endowed the higher being has blessed you. Oh and also I hope you upload another spoken word video the one about the difference btw church and the higher being is one of the best poems I ever heard in my life honestly
Jeff, I've been watching your videos for a few years now. They all hit home but this one was way too close. I was sexually molested by a very close family member from the age of 4-8. I feel like I've forgiven him but I now that I'm married certain problems have come up and at times they lead back to my abuse. My husband isn't understanding because the topic makes him uncomfortable. He's never heard that chapter of my life and the little I have talked about he has tuned out. Though I'm no longer resentful and have extended forgiveness even though I never received an apology from my abuser, I am saddened there is still a burden from the traumatic experience that I have to carry. The aftermath of this is horrible. I hate this has carried on into my adulthood. Thank you for sharing this. It's so good to know someone is listening to stories like mine and letting everyone know it's not our fault. I hope to check out some of the resources you recommended.
My name is Will Evans, I am 19 years old and have been addicted to pornography since I was 13 years old. I have been watching your videos for a little over a year now and read your book Jeff and I want to thank you for making a video on this because I realize now I have to bring this in to the light if I am going to beat it. Thank you! Please keep me in your prayers.
Thank you for making this video. This is something that I struggled with for years. I was raped when I was 16 (it went on for an entire week non-stop) and up until a few months ago I blamed myself everyday for it. Different scents and sounds are triggers for me. After it happened I strayed away from God. All I could think was "Why would he let something like this happen to me?" It took until I was 20 when I had my daughter 3 months premature to start following Christ again. I still struggle to this day with the rape but I no longer blame myself and I now know that God didn't make it happen. But seriously, thank you for posting this and I really needed to hear/see it tonight. I can't wait to purchase your books.
you live in Washington? wow. I could've ran into you one day. you motivate me so much. everything you say makes me open up to new possibilities around me. thank you and keep doing what you do!
This is very powerful! I've been through some dark stuff and the only way I could fix the situation was to bring all involved to God and create accountability. I don't wish the depression it brings on anyone and I hope this can be fixed for future generations.
This is a really powerful video about things happening in our society more people need to speak up against. Thank you for sharing this. There are people out there, both men and women, who need to know their voice matters and that they have worth being created in God's image. At a point in my life, a teacher at my school told me that things like physical and sexual abuse really happen to many people. One of the worst things is that people sometimes feel like they are alone. I like the last part of the video when the lady who wrote you that letter wanted people to know they are loved.
I want to thank you VERY much for making this video! I have been watching your videos for a while and can honestly say that you have changed my life for the better! You helped me get back on the path of christ. (I was lost there for a while.) This video especially has hit close to home.. Thanks for reminding me that it's not my fault. No matter how many times I tell myself that, I tend to not believe it. I just wish I had the strength to tell someone about it period and get help. I've only prayed to God about it. God is my strength and he has helped me through so many tough times in my life. Please keep doing what you're doing, because I know from experience that you have helped so many! Thanks again!
Whelp... I love pretty much everything you have to say. The bible, in one of the letters Paul writes, says to take everything back to scripture and to weigh it against scripture, and I love that not only do you do that with everything you post, but when I take it back to scripture myself, it holds up. God has a wonderful hold of you and is using you in awesome ways. This video needed to happen, and I honestly hope you do more videos on heavy topics! Everyone has a severe struggle that can be spoken into, and you just seem to hit the chord every time...
God's rich blessings on all the work He has called you to do. Thank you for your obedience to His voice/calling. You ARE speaking to so many lost and wayward 'young people' *The line* between what is right & wrong...what is proper & in-proper....dirty & clean...*have become so blurred*. Even a lot the Christian teens seem to have lost "that line" / getting too mixed into "the world" vs the Word. It scares me!! I was thrilled when someone showed me your website. I pray God will use you not just to help the lost & wayward *but also be used to take you higher, wider & deeper with Jesus than you ever dreamed possibly*. THANK YOU! & God bless you & your family !!!
There is so much truth in everything you were saying. I pray that you would continue to be bold and say the things that are on your heart. That you would never be silenced by people's negative comments. Whether it's something fun and funny or super deep and sensitive like this one. Just do you. You never know whose life will be touched/encouraged/healed/convicted.
Even as a non believer what you speak about you really are completely true in what you say. "Believe what you want aslong as it doesnt bother or hurt anyone" is what i think
This is a hard topic- I want to say that I read as much as I can on this subject. As I have lived it as well. We need to forgive that person/persons.. This is my first time speaking out about this and I want to say that my heart is finally at peace- but I has to hand it over to Jesus first then I forgave the person ( I do not know if I could have done that otherwise)- but that does not mean I forgot what happened. I have forgiven that person and I have moved on, But women it is okay to not forget. Do not let it control your thoughts, instead impact those around with with words of experience. Be the living hope for them, Do not live in the past but accept it and let it heal others.Thank you Jeff for posting this.
Thank you so much for this video! I wont go into detail but it was amazingly open and honest about what some of us deal with in trying to heal from situations we had no control over. It is so wonderful that there are men out there with Christ at the center of their lives who want to help women and men heal from things like sexual assault. Wonderful video and thanks so much for posting! I am interested in checking out those resources for sure!
I disclosed to a Christian man who was a friend of mine how I was assaulted on our college campus... he told me "he wasn't impressed with my behavior and how I LET a man take advantage of me" I wish that was the only time I had been blamed for what happened, many other people, including one of my best friends, made me believe it was my fault...
This is such an amazing video, it blessed me and spoke to me more than you know. Thank you so much for sharing the love of Christ with your subscribers and for allowing The Lord to speak through you.
This is exactly what I needed to watch see and hear today! I've been struggling and I don't want to go into detail but this video covers it and it just helped me a lot today I want to thank you!
I almost started crying, the tears where pressing on. What a beautiful video. Thank u. Almost every girl friend of mine has been abused. One was abused from the age of 3-18 :-( it sounds horrible, but its almost an everyday thing here, because 8 out of 10 has been sexual abused. It makes me so sad. Its like, its so common here, that sometimes I feel like, other people is just thinking, what's the big deal, it happens for all of us anyway. That way of thinking scares the s... out of me. Its NOT normal, its NOT acceptable! ! Again thank u. I'm very new in my walk with Jesus, but no matter how hard it gets, I hope he will be with my side.
Where can I find the books that you were talking about? Thank you so much for talking about this kind of thing. Abuse is something that doesn't get talked about in the proper light enough. So many people joke about it and demean the victim, they don't even realize how damaging it is. Talking about it is healing.
hey jeff i just wanna say that ur words have touched millions...ur videos show everyday on TV in our country n i just wanna say its an inspiration to live our lives in the path of righteouness n rightfulness
There is a problem with me though, there are times whereas i change, become a better person, do not watch porn for a whole week, then after that i fall straight back into it and keep doing it, i am afraid because of this i may lose grace because of my sin and my not being 'born again', please guide me into change!
Wow! Nice articulated message full of love and grace toward both men and women. Thank you for your care of this important issue. It is true, our kids are growing up with all this access to porn in their back pockets on their phones. Kind of crazy to think of that. We need to be hearing more and more of the things you taught on here.
I was molested when I was 4 by my friend's female relative. I didn't tell anyone because I did not quite understand what had happened to me, but I knew I felt ashamed. I just had this conversation with my father last night and I'm now 21. My father prayed for me and said the exact thing you said, that it's not my fault and I'm not responsible for her evil doing to me. I needed to hear this... That seed of lust was planted by the enemy but I thank God for His grace, forgiveness and deliverance. I have been set free in Jesus' name. Thank you for this video. God bless you.
wow im a fan basic of sam and nia i just watched their vlog and they encouraged us go check out your video i mean i was completely drawn to it in the first minute, you just won yourself a new fan and subscriber, man you doing this for the glory of god thats the best part about it
I was sexually assaulted from the time I was 8 until I was 11 (I'm 16 now). I still struggle with feeling guilty or anxious around boys because of it. Thanks Jeff for reminding me it's not my fault. It's encouraging to know other people say it's not my fault. Love you!!
I just came across your channel, I love they way you speak about everything with such fluency I can just see the way God moves through you and I was very inspired/ enlightened with all the that you say. You are doing wonderful things, God bless and I will be watching a lot more!
Man.. I am thankful that my Russian friend from Moscow told me about you. Man, that part about transferring our sin to Jesus and giving it to him about brought tears in my eyes. Man, I've never had it explained that way ever, it makes so much sense. He is big enough to take away sin that we are struggling with in our lives.. I'll make sure to share some of your videos with my bible study group! Thank you for this video, God bless you man
No! Feminist want extra right, without extra responsibility. I don't know you are Christian or free thinker. But all feminist (both Christian & free thinker) flocking him. If we want to be honest (use free thinker logic). Porn and rape connection are correlation. Rape and women who don't own gun connection are cause and effect. He is not that great, because he threat correlation as causation. (Since all atheist and people who respect logic think that Correlation does not imply causation). He is not great Christian either, for supporting government hand out for poor nation. (Government is theft. And remember Christan should condemn theft). By logic standard. He is not good. He also not good in Christian standard either. What he is great on? Making misandrist people happy? LOL
I was a feminist, and I even quoted bible scriptures from Esther on why husbands should listen to their wives, and respect them. But I became highly offended when was being taken as a joke by the females themselves. They laughed at me as if I knew nothing about women, and as if I was showing false sympathy. That really hurts.
I was asaulted in every possible way from my soon to be exhusband, healing from that has been so difficult! The fear of men is real and it leaves me never wanting to go places by myself or at dark. Even if that’s 830.. I’m constantly praying about it, but I’ve been told “you’ll still have flashbacks” and “you still have issues because of what happened” basically saying the Lord can’t heal me all the way. And I don’t believe it, my ex was dark skinned/hair/ eyes. And I’m polar opposite (blonde, green eyes and pale), when I was pregnant with my son I told people I was praying my son would look more like me (I didn’t want to not like him bc he looked like his father) and everyone,even my mom said we’ll get over it bc he’s going to be just like him. But I chose not to believe them and prayed either way that I would love him. My son was born blonde, blue eyed and pale. So I’m choosing not to believe what others are saying even if that mean I’m alone. I will be healed completely.. I just don’t know how to start😕 what are your thoughts? Any help would be great!
Thank you for this video. It popped up at the right time I believe :) First, old thoughts of my past came. Second, I didn't want to keep forgiving him because it was my past and I am done with it. Same with the m word that was introduced by him. Third, I prayed to God and forgave him once again. Again about the m word. Fourth, my daily devotions plus the video that lead me to another video on this topic. Fifth, your video appeared on my Facebook Timeline and here I am. Thank you Jeff for making this. Thanks to God for setting this all up :)
You share some beautiful words in this video Jefferson. I haven't read all of the comments so someone may have already recommended this; but I highly, HIGHLY encourage reading the book "Surfing for God" by Michael John Cusick. I received this book from a friend and it has helped me see this issue of porn on a spiritual level. I'm still broken, been this way for 14 years, but I know the pain will be coming to an end. Bless you Jefferson, thank you for speaking about this!
Hi Jeff I'm just going to ask for help here. I'm currently going through depression and it's killing me spirituality and I feel lost and I sometimes overthink things and it feels like I'm losing my mind. I have a relationship with God I'm even a youth leader at a kamp but for some reason this depression has taken a hold of my life. I live in fear every day and I feel like I can't go on like this. I don't want to give up and all I am looking for is a way out. So please reply if you read this. Thank you for your videos and for making a difference.
I also have struggled with depression, primarily related to PTSD. I echo the other persons comment, it's not your fault. Worship! Also, do some kind of work that is outside of yourself. Volunteer and give of yourself to a cause you have a heart for, that has helped me a lot too!
Thank you all so much for the advice I'm glad that there are still people willing to help each other. Thank you Hayley I will do my best to recover and I know that God does not want this for me. Krystian Thank you I will go and take a look at that website. Thank you all.
Hey bro. It must be hard. Although I don't understand exactly what you're going through, you're not alone. We all have different problems some have it worse than others. For example myself, I suffer from general anxiety and its really hard but I have faith and I won't lose faith. Just keep your faith man!! It's the most important thing. Like bob78145 said, it could be the devil. The devil doesn't want to see you live a life close to God and he doesn't want to see you happy. He puts all these traps in our lives to make us give up on God. It's pretty crazy. When I first started getting close to God and reading the Bible and praying more often, that's when the devil stepped in. He finds your weak spots. For me it was going to parties and drinking with friends. After I started getting close to God, more of my friends started inviting me to parties and girls actually would text me to come to their house. Things like this didn't happen when I was distant from God. All in all I just want you to know that it could be the devil finding your weak spot (depression) and hoping you give up on God. Don't man. God is amazing. Just pray to him every night and don't be afraid to talk to him. Ask him questions tell him how you feel and tell him to help you. Tell God that you need him right now more than ever. And even if you don't see a change right away just keep having faith and keep praying. God is good and he will help you when he feels like it is time. I never really reply to comments but I had a strong urge to comment and tell you this. Just hang in there. Do you mind me asking how long have you been feeling depressed?
With prayer anything is possible. Try to focus on God. When your feeling depressed sing a song that's joyful and will help you get your mind off of things. Don't live your life with fear because God is with you! I will be parting for you! God Bless!
Thanks for the Motivation guys and thanks for replying. I pray to God every night I always talk to him when I can. I am currently on antidepressants and I don't like It but i f I don't take it my depression just starts again. I have faith that it will end because I don't Feel like I can go on like this.Will Moran Thanks for the advice and motivation I have been depressed for about 2 Months now and I have been on antidepressants for 3 weeks now.
I love that you spoke on this! I work with teens who have dealt with severe trauma in regards to rape and sexual assault. They are desperate for a Jesus that their trauma refuses to allow them to rest on. I would love to check out some more solid Christian resources on this topic.
Thank you *****. From the first poem I watched until now, you've been amazing and on point (and with awesome facial expressions... *casually looks to the right and sees the "Being a Dad is AWESOME" video thumbnail*). Great video my friend. :)
That woman that wrote the letter watched Shane Koyczan because "Those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter" is a quote from one of his spoken word poems. I recommend watching his videos if you haven't already as they're very helpful I'm dark situations and are inspirational
Praise God, I have never been a victim of sexual assault! Nevertheless, this video put tears in my eyes. I understand how things - porn and otherwise - can so easily be made into idols to which one becomes enslaved, and by which one becomes hollow. It is frightening to me to take a step back and truly look at the things and people in my life that I idolize, and hearing your words of caution and encouragement is always a boost in a positive direction! Thanks, Jeff. :)
Thank you for sharing this so much! When I was a sophmore in high school I got sexually abused by a trusted friend of mine that I had over when my parents weren't home & the abuse went on over the course of that whole year & I had to switch schools & no one but my parents believed me. The cops didn't believe me & the school office didn't believe me. It was horrible but now I'm 19 and am with my wonderful boyfriend that I've been dating for over a year & we plan to get engaged very soon! Thanks for the video!
It sad that happen, but i am totally disagree the idea of rape and porn are related. If there anything should be blame, is government who regulate gun.
I am every sorry that you had to go through that. I think God turn that situation into something good by showing you that you deserve a man that will treat you right. I been single for my whole life, I'm 18, never been kissed, and, I have dance with a few guys at a dance. I really don't know how relationships work, so can someone please tell me how it like to be in a relationship. I am really curious.
Priscila Palma Every individual have different experience on their relationship. So i can't answer it for you. But one thing i can tell is about to have some one you love, and he love you back. If you want to have that kind of person, that's a sign you want to have relationship. If not, then it's fine to be single. Being single or to have some one you love is great. But the worst thing you can do, is to have unbalance relationship (love only come from one side). Confident, nice, but don't be desperate for love. Be nice and give love, and if he give feed back for you love in sincere way, he is the right person. Desperation of love and unbalance relationship is parent of all love abuse. If you ever heard story about girl, who being trick by her boy friend. It all because she desperate for love, and gave her love without question. Confident, nice, give love and expect your target give balance love feedback. Good luck! I hope you find a good man. It's easier to have unbalance relationship, but it's not worth the price
Priscila Palma I have been in a relationship with my fiancé since I was 16 (I'm now 19), and we are getting married august 2015. That doesn't mean I know all about relationship, not at all, but I will really advise you to read "The meaning of marriage" by Tim Keller. It is wrote with singles in mind, and it's just so deep on so many levels that if you're curious about relationship that is one of the best ways to gain knowledge in a good way. You can start by reading one chapter if you're not to fond about reading - it is really really good! You can loan it from you're library or buy it - it will be one of the best investments you make in your life. Being in a relationship has so many aspects so I can't tell you how it is without writing a book. But the best relationship in the world make sure not to make the other person their "god" and their meaning in life. Only God can be that. And theres sooo much more - read the book! :)
I was twelve when I was molested and it was by someone I trusted. I haven't been able to have normal relationships because of it. All I think about is that trust being taken advantage of again. I know God is leading me to the one who can heal me, but sometimes it's very hard not to trust someone you really want to trust.
Listening to you talk about how porn makes the addict objectify himself, I just thought of the Psalm (115 &135) where it talks about idolatry. "Those who worship them become like them, as do all who trust in them." Very good perspective.
NATHAN THORSON Duuuuude! That makes me excited too! I think I watched a lot of videos on this topic last summer because I wrote Delilah then. High five for finding me haha :D
I have a cousin who was abused as a child and teen by her father and stepfather and her sister was also abused. Her sister committed suicide. Her brother committed suicide as well, but it's not certain whether he was abused or not. My cousin forgave her father and stepfather, but never sought justice for her sister or brother. Her stepfather is now elderly and has not spent one day in jail. He is even considered an elder in his community. It bothers me that any god could allow all that hurt and pain to happen to my cousins and after over twenty years, there is no justice for them.
Your amazing Jeff I know God's proud of you and loves you more than anything and don't pay any attention to the bad comments people post on here there blind people and there stuck in the darkness but just don't see it because there spiritually blind but I hope they will find the light and love from Christ one day and keep making videos because I'm always watching God bless you.Amen
I need help getting rid of porn... I am a teenage girl who has been struggling with this for a long long time! It feels like a drug... I managed to get away from it a few times but every time something triggers it in me, I can't seem to stop, until I get drawn away from God... And then when I start to rebuild the relationship it seems to return and it makes me feel helpless... I know I have to stop but part of me is too addicted 😫! I don't know what to do
Tladi Phasha Hey Tlad! :) Just know that just because I totally understand what you mean, just know that to break out of porn to be honest there is no specific way. Take it from me, all of these sites and little "training sessions" online don't ever help because the urge to look at it again and again will always creep up on you if you allow it too. Now also take this advice from me that I know that the only true way of that stopping porn addiction in your life is by constantly praying every single day and giving Christ the thanks and worship for the victory over this addiction that is already yours. Never ever feel discouraged because I know at times you'll mess up and screw up and watch it again and fail, but don't let that discourage you bro! Only let that motivate you in a sense the if you keep pushing forward, you are one step closer to finally ending this addiction! No one is perfect. We all make mistakes and that is why we all come to JESUS to forgive us for those mistakes! Love you Tlad and just know that you can do it! :)
Ryanium I must say, that is by far the most encouraging advice I have come across and I am truly greatful for it! Thanx a million 😊. May the good Lord continue giving you the wisdom you require!! Once again, thank you :)
Anytime! Just never forget that no matter how many times you fail at something, don't let up and just believe the battle is over because in reality the devil wants you to believe that your victory to this addiction or whatever it may be that might come in your way in life, Jesus said that he would pick you up every time you fall! I'm glad to have been able to find your reply and give you an answer to it but just remember that its not me who was tell you this. It was Christ who was within me reaching out to you through me and he wants me to honestly tell you right now because i feel it in my heart that he loves and is crazy about you every single day! So stay strong and know that you're not alone. :) Tladi Phasha
Thank you so much Jeff. Ive been dealing with this issue recently as a result of the Title IX investigation into TBDBITL, which at the heart of it is a sexual assault. I know the victim and have been trying to just be there for her while this controversy encircles the OSU community and alumni. I have posted the video to her wall. thank you so much again.
Great thoughts, man! And thanks for the shout out!
Appreciate you guys a ton! Thanks for making stuff that makes people think. Also, if someone is reading this in the comments make sure to go watch their video I mentioned in this video! It's called "Five things guys need to stop doing to girls."
what about gays? is Kim Davis wrong?
what about gays? is Kim Davis wrong?
+LLL B. what do you mean
Who are you this man is trying to advise people who are need
Loved how you talked about women having their own worth outside of being someone's daughter, sister, etc. I've never thought of it that way but it's so true! Love your videos Jeff :)
I am one of those many thousands watching your videos who has been affected by this issue, and I just wanted to say thank you for making this video. Being assaulted leaves a person with a lot of guilt, and I really appreciate all of those people who remind us that it is not our fault. Also, thank you for speaking out on the porn issue also... too many times, porn and assault go hand in hand together, and with porn being so easily accessed today, it is no wonder that we hear about so many cases of sexual assault, whether towards men or women. To anyone else who has been assaulted, just remember - We are strong, and with God's help, we will not let the incident define our lives.
I seriously loved how you explained transferring our sin to Jesus and giving it to him. That part of the video how you explained it gave me chills. I've heard this so many times and I believe it but how you explained it really got to me. Also, please keep speaking truth and thank you for caring enough to speak about these topics. Thank you and also anyone out there who has been hurt and sexually abused- You are a treasure and nothing that has happened to you could ever taint you. You are pure, loved, and a treasure. Jesus has washed us white as snow. Anything that makes you feel dirty or unworthy is a lie-so reject that lie because you are loved.
thanks so much Kait!! Love that!
I was a christian once. I believed because I was a child ignorant of my senses, not knowing fiddle squat about the SCIENTIFIC METHOD.
Not knowing Jack diddly about history.
Science saves lives, it's the light in our homes, the heat in our Ovens and microwaves, the proof through the science says that there is no need for a god, so there probably isn't a god.
It's all very complex and takes time, but it's not a waste of your time like religion is.
Funny enough, you can't have the word lie without the word religious and you can't have the word lie about the word Bible. Jesus Christ, is an invention by the Roman aristocrats.
Read the book covert messiah by Joseph Atwill
It explains why people Believe in Jesus
If your so confident in your Jesus, what's a challenge to your mind if your so confident?
Look up sexist bible quotes, look up prayer study results. Not from s christian website, their evil liars who only care about brainwashing good people like this evil prick on TH-cam
I wasted a decade fearing God, only to learn there is no God. There's nothing wrong with dying and never existing again. It's called morality. It's life. Don't be narcissistic and egocentric and think that you're so special to somebody fucking created you. Look up the word contradiction, you'll find over 700 of them in the original testament. It condones rape and pedophiles. The bible is the root of all evil.
Justin Jones its not about religion or churches. this is created by men! We dont believe in religion! our saviour is god! no one other! and with god i mean the father the son and the holy spirtit.
Justin Jones hmm well the root of all evil is money. Can America live without money? Can any country live without money? Hell no! And money itself is a system made by humans to keep you in chains yet you still live in such system. The root of all evil is not religion, its mankind and their creations such as money, nuclear weapons, wars and so on...
You haven’t experienced his love
Our culture - and, to be honest, Christian culture specifically - is so good at victim-blaming, and that drives me crazy. There's something to be said for dressing modestly...but there's also something to be said for girls being able to wear something without having to think about how a boy will react to her outfit. It is so frustrating to me when people's first response to sexual assault is "well, were you alone at night?" "were you intoxicated?" "what were you wearing?"
It is never the victim's fault. A victim should not have to answer for the actions of someone else.
(Sorry for the potential male-assault-erasure. I certainly don't mean to imply that men don't get assaulted, or that their assault is less important. I am a female, and therefore I use female examples. This applies to, affects, and is important for men, women, and those outside the gender-binary alike).
Uh, no. No no no. This is still victim-blaming. Saying "it was her bad decisions that got her raped" IS putting the fault on her. "Bad" decisions do not excuse the actions of someone else.
A person should be able to get blackout drunk without having to worry about other people taking advantage of that person - in any form, sexual or otherwise. Being drunk is not an invitation for anything to happen.
I'm not saying that getting blackout drunk is a good decision (because a lot of alcohol can have bad side effects on a person's heath and wellbeing). I'm saying that getting blackout drunk is NOT an excuse for someone to be taken advantage of. On the flip-side, being completely intoxicated is not an excuse to take advantage of somebody. Rape is rape, and the fault needs to lie in the person who raped, and NEVER in the person who WAS raped.
You're right that there are measures that can be taken to stop something before it happens. It's all about teaching people what consent looks like, and what rape looks like, and the difference between the two. It's about focusing on teaching people how to not rape, and NOT how to not BE raped. A person is in responsible for his or her own actions, and should not be responsible for the actions of someone else.
Lindsay Covington Unfortunately we live in a world where regardless if you teach people to not rape it will still happen so everyone should also be taught on how to avoid it the best the possibly can.
Lindsay Covington
well said Lindsay i fully agree with what your saying its NEVER the victims fault no matter what.
bethismagical333 You're right, and that's the catch-22, because we DO have to teach people how to protect themselves, which sucks. It's much easier, and sometimes more effective, to teach people how to protect themselves. I 100% advise people to be cautious in potentially dangerous situations.
But I don't have to be *satisfied* with a world like that. I'm continually praying for a world where we value the health and wellbeing of victims regardless of their situation, and we place the blame solely on the perpetrators, regardless of their situation.
PREACH !!!
WOAH. I literally was JUST praying hard about these issues. Particularly healing...i log onto facebook, and this is the first thing that popped up. I'm also a victim and ALSO someone close to my heart is struggling horribly with severe porn addiction and this just felt like you were literally speaking to me. God is so good. Thank you Jesus!
I was molested too at the age of 5 or 6 by my mother boyfriend, I would always break down and cry because I felt dirty and guilty feeling like it was my fault. Years passed by, and it stopped when I got older like the age or 8 or 7, than I found Christ and he helped me through all of my pain and sufferings. I forgave him even though he never apologized, he act as if nothing happened, but I realized that we have to move on and forgive the people who hurt you. I love God for healing me and my life 😊
Forgiving a person for molesting or raping you is a very hard thing to do,especially when they sit up and pretend like nothing never happened and are non-forgiving themselves, not a forgiving bone in their body. I don't even know how or where to begin forgiving my ex.
Sonja M. I know, it was hard it took me years, It use to make me mad when he sit up and act like nothing ever happened like you said. My mother always told me if he ever touched me as a little girl I was scared to say yes bcuz I thought I would get in trouble. My mother use to hit me too and verbally so I thought she would hit me
Well..at least you were able to forgive..that takes much strength, I do believe God can give it too, but I have not enough yet. God bless u
Sonja M. It takes time, pray to God to give you the strength to do so. I will pray for you, God bless.
I do and will continue..thank u
Hey... This was such an encouragement. My sister has been going through this sort of situation for 5 months. My family has been having such a rough time and because of a family member sexually harassing my sister, it has turn my family upsidedown. I am only 17 and the only Christian in my family. I really appreciate this video!! :)
Great video! So much truth! God bless.
Thanks for sharing. I too am part of that 30,000. While I know all the things you said in the video to be true, my heart doesn't usually beleive them. Grateful to have another voice proclaiming truth on such a heartbreaking topic. I will play it on repeat when I feel myself getting lost in the shame.
Thank you for this Jefferson Bethke! I have been watching your videos for years and they always speak straight to my spirit. I have overcome a sexual assault. I'm a sailor in the Navy, and was assaulted by a shipmate. I struggled for a long time with it, but I am no longer a victim and am now going through the motions to use my experience to help other female sailors deal with their assaults. Your "Sexual Healing" video really spoke to me while I was healing. I just want to let you know that you are spot on with this video and I love the message. Thank you for being such an inspiration! Praise God!
Wow. My name is Jessica, I’m 25 and live in Washington State. I have a rough past full of porn, a Dad cheating and leaving my mom and us 5 kids, getting pregnant at 15 years old, giving myself away too more men than I even want to count or remember, and being raped. Funny thing is, i grew up in and was raised in church, went to private school most of my life and still have had to work through mess after mess. A guy I was recently dating introduced me to your channel and I just stumbled across this video. I was nudged to get your book and ended up getting the audio version.... I started it this morning and just finished. I weeped years through all 5 hours of it. I feel like you guys were talking right to me. Like God seriously planned all of that for me to hear. I have been so broken by repeating my destructive patterns and only wanting to be married and trying so hard and continually failing. Definitely in a season of waiting. Thank you guys so much for all you do
Hi Jeff! Let me begin by saying thank you for making this video. Too many people are afraid of this topic because of how dark of a subject it is, but in order to make a change for the better we all need to be aware of how these things affect the world around us. I personally have never experienced these things, but my cousin has from the time she was a toddler until 16 years of age. She tried to kill herself on multiple occasions, and after her last attempt in June of last year, she decided to seek help. She has been at a place which focuses solely on God for healing women who have had traumatic experiences and it has absolutely changed her life. Only through Jesus are we ever able to give our troubles away and truly be happy. She comes home in two weeks, and I will definitely be showing her this! Thank you for all that you do. You touch so many lives! God bless you!
I know this is an old video and you might never see this, but this happened to me. Hearing these words has given me a new hope and anew found desire to run back to Jesus. Thank you
Gracie Bright I don't no what happened with u but i wish you will be happy .my love and support with you my lovely sister.
Gracie Bright I don't no what happened with u but i wish you will be happy .my love and support with you my lovely sister.
Thank you so much for making this video! Every woman and man who have been abused or are struggling with sexual sin need to hear this
Thanks for sharing this!
This is incredible. One of my favorite videos from you. I especially liked the part at 2:17 when you spoke about how people often say "That's someone's daughter." etc. Thank you!!!
Great video! I am a mother who worries for her children each day . I worry that some stranger will come along and hurt them like the girl in your letter.
My heart breaks for all these men and women who have been hurt like this . I think its great that you are sharing the gospel and these videos will change lives .
To someone who was sexually, and verbally abused it was huge for me to hear that it was not my fault and that I didn't do anything to deserve that abuse. For years I struggled with that and thought I wasn't lovable. God changed that and he gave me an amazing man who constantly reminds me of how I beautiful I am and how much I am loved. Thank you for this video Jeff. More people need to hear this.
This is coming at a perfect time. As a mom of a beautiful daughter who has been sexually abused - this touches not only my heart - but my soul! What you have said and what the young lady says in her letter is so true. I have repeated those same words to my daughter multiple times. I also told her to not carry the guilt and shame of who abused her. That is his burden to carry. I am definitely going to share this video on my Facebook page. I have just met a woman on FB who is walking this walk with her daughter. I am hoping to be a shoulder for her and her family. I pray this video gives her strength and strength to the millions out there who have been harmed by another person's actions.
I learn a lot from watching your videos even though I'm a Muslim I think its great to learn and connect with other people from other religions. Thank you for sharing your thoughts God bless.
mahumtariq God bless ❤👼
Mahum Tariq bless you 😊
I don't even know how to out into words how grateful I am that you made this and that I had the blessing of seeing it. Thank you, truly.
Hearing and watching this has helped me so much. I was raped by my ex Christian boyfriend. And I think that you are honestly one of the first people to talk so openly and so real. Thank you so much!! You really don't understand how much this has helped me on my journey to healing
God knows exactly when to place a word in your direction! I recently was in a domestic violence situation that involved sexual cues and have been sexually assaulted in the past. I have gotten through a lot of obstacles but still some days have a sense of helplessness and overall feeling lost and confused. I'm building my relationship with God more than ever but I still have days where it's very hard to keep the good faith. This video really helped me get out of my mood today and for that I am soooo grateful! Bless,
Kayla
This is exactly what I needed at the moment! Thank you so much for having posted about this subject Jeff! I am eternally grateful, I just ordered "Rid of my Disgrace" in hopes of healing and forgiving what happened 10 years ago.
I have been in therapy for my own childhood experiences and nothing has helped heal me like when you said, "It's not your fault". I've been told that many times before but still find myself saying, "What if...". Thank you for bringing awareness to this subject. I love your work and the message you spread.
Thank you for this. I was raped when I was 15 at a party. I had never been to a party and it was my first time drinking. The 6 guys were very popular and they weren't my usual crowd to be around. The next day everyone was calling me whore and making fun of me. I remember every single detail and at times it gets to me, but the first time I went back to church after it happened that pastor was talking about "bad things happen to good people for a reason" I felt like I was meant to be there to hear that message that day. I began to talk to other people about what happened to me and they told me there storied and I tried my hardest to make them feel like they were not alone. God really is amazing and I know I am meant for something great regardless of how the world sees me. I've been raped, abused by my husband, and abused mentally by my peers. But I take all of this as a lesson in life. God has changed my life in more ways than I can count!
I was sexually assaulted about 2 years ago and I cannot help but to thank those who support and encourage people who have been in this position. I think the hardest part is definitely trying to find a reason to not blame myself. I've been through therapy, meds, church, to reading memoirs. Of course I've also been on a path of destruction where I've exposed myself to sin and temptation; I've said yes to it all. However, I am reminded day by day that the grace of God is all I need. As I continue this road of becoming spiritually healed I can only say that just when I've given up, god shed his light on me and reminds me that he's not done with me yet.
This is probably one of my favorite videos of yours. Great job!
Ever thought about starting a series where you discus subjects like this or what people might be struggling with? (I.e. self-harm, familial abuse, sexual identity, etc)
Beautifully spoken and inspirationally endowed the higher being has blessed you. Oh and also I hope you upload another spoken word video the one about the difference btw church and the higher being is one of the best poems I ever heard in my life honestly
Jeff, I've been watching your videos for a few years now. They all hit home but this one was way too close. I was sexually molested by a very close family member from the age of 4-8. I feel like I've forgiven him but I now that I'm married certain problems have come up and at times they lead back to my abuse. My husband isn't understanding because the topic makes him uncomfortable. He's never heard that chapter of my life and the little I have talked about he has tuned out. Though I'm no longer resentful and have extended forgiveness even though I never received an apology from my abuser, I am saddened there is still a burden from the traumatic experience that I have to carry. The aftermath of this is horrible. I hate this has carried on into my adulthood. Thank you for sharing this. It's so good to know someone is listening to stories like mine and letting everyone know it's not our fault. I hope to check out some of the resources you recommended.
My name is Will Evans, I am 19 years old and have been addicted to pornography since I was 13 years old. I have been watching your videos for a little over a year now and read your book Jeff and I want to thank you for making a video on this because I realize now I have to bring this in to the light if I am going to beat it. Thank you! Please keep me in your prayers.
Thank you for making this video. This is something that I struggled with for years. I was raped when I was 16 (it went on for an entire week non-stop) and up until a few months ago I blamed myself everyday for it. Different scents and sounds are triggers for me. After it happened I strayed away from God. All I could think was "Why would he let something like this happen to me?" It took until I was 20 when I had my daughter 3 months premature to start following Christ again. I still struggle to this day with the rape but I no longer blame myself and I now know that God didn't make it happen. But seriously, thank you for posting this and I really needed to hear/see it tonight. I can't wait to purchase your books.
This is so right! I've had troubles with addiction to porn and it affected my self image. Thanks for the talk!
you live in Washington? wow. I could've ran into you one day. you motivate me so much. everything you say makes me open up to new possibilities around me. thank you and keep doing what you do!
This is very powerful! I've been through some dark stuff and the only way I could fix the situation was to bring all involved to God and create accountability. I don't wish the depression it brings on anyone and I hope this can be fixed for future generations.
This is a really powerful video about things happening in our society more people need to speak up against. Thank you for sharing this. There are people out there, both men and women, who need to know their voice matters and that they have worth being created in God's image. At a point in my life, a teacher at my school told me that things like physical and sexual abuse really happen to many people. One of the worst things is that people sometimes feel like they are alone. I like the last part of the video when the lady who wrote you that letter wanted people to know they are loved.
I want to thank you VERY much for making this video! I have been watching your videos for a while and can honestly say that you have changed my life for the better! You helped me get back on the path of christ. (I was lost there for a while.) This video especially has hit close to home.. Thanks for reminding me that it's not my fault. No matter how many times I tell myself that, I tend to not believe it. I just wish I had the strength to tell someone about it period and get help. I've only prayed to God about it. God is my strength and he has helped me through so many tough times in my life. Please keep doing what you're doing, because I know from experience that you have helped so many! Thanks again!
Whelp... I love pretty much everything you have to say. The bible, in one of the letters Paul writes, says to take everything back to scripture and to weigh it against scripture, and I love that not only do you do that with everything you post, but when I take it back to scripture myself, it holds up. God has a wonderful hold of you and is using you in awesome ways. This video needed to happen, and I honestly hope you do more videos on heavy topics!
Everyone has a severe struggle that can be spoken into, and you just seem to hit the chord every time...
God's rich blessings on all the work He has called you to do. Thank you for your obedience to His voice/calling.
You ARE speaking to so many lost and wayward 'young people' *The line* between what is right & wrong...what is proper & in-proper....dirty & clean...*have become so blurred*. Even a lot the Christian teens seem to have lost "that line" / getting too mixed into "the world" vs the Word. It scares me!! I was thrilled when someone showed me your website. I pray God will use you not just to help the lost & wayward *but also be used to take you higher, wider & deeper with Jesus than you ever dreamed possibly*. THANK YOU! & God bless you & your family !!!
There is so much truth in everything you were saying. I pray that you would continue to be bold and say the things that are on your heart. That you would never be silenced by people's negative comments. Whether it's something fun and funny or super deep and sensitive like this one. Just do you. You never know whose life will be touched/encouraged/healed/convicted.
Even as a non believer what you speak about you really are completely true in what you say. "Believe what you want aslong as it doesnt bother or hurt anyone" is what i think
This is a hard topic- I want to say that I read as much as I can on this subject. As I have lived it as well. We need to forgive that person/persons.. This is my first time speaking out about this and I want to say that my heart is finally at peace- but I has to hand it over to Jesus first then I forgave the person ( I do not know if I could have done that otherwise)- but that does not mean I forgot what happened. I have forgiven that person and I have moved on, But women it is okay to not forget. Do not let it control your thoughts, instead impact those around with with words of experience. Be the living hope for them, Do not live in the past but accept it and let it heal others.Thank you Jeff for posting this.
Thank you for making this! This video is one of my favorites from you, props to you for stepping up and addressing such big issues. Much love.
Thank you so much for this video! I wont go into detail but it was amazingly open and honest about what some of us deal with in trying to heal from situations we had no control over. It is so wonderful that there are men out there with Christ at the center of their lives who want to help women and men heal from things like sexual assault. Wonderful video and thanks so much for posting! I am interested in checking out those resources for sure!
I disclosed to a Christian man who was a friend of mine how I was assaulted on our college campus... he told me "he wasn't impressed with my behavior and how I LET a man take advantage of me" I wish that was the only time I had been blamed for what happened, many other people, including one of my best friends, made me believe it was my fault...
This is such an amazing video, it blessed me and spoke to me more than you know. Thank you so much for sharing the love of Christ with your subscribers and for allowing The Lord to speak through you.
Love what she had to say at the End!! She is so Right!! It is NOT the Victims Fault!! God Bless her!!
This is exactly what I needed to watch see and hear today! I've been struggling and I don't want to go into detail but this video covers it and it just helped me a lot today I want to thank you!
I almost started crying, the tears where pressing on.
What a beautiful video. Thank u.
Almost every girl friend of mine has been abused. One was abused from the age of 3-18 :-( it sounds horrible, but its almost an everyday thing here, because 8 out of 10 has been sexual abused. It makes me so sad. Its like, its so common here, that sometimes I feel like, other people is just thinking, what's the big deal, it happens for all of us anyway. That way of thinking scares the s... out of me. Its NOT normal, its NOT acceptable! !
Again thank u.
I'm very new in my walk with Jesus, but no matter how hard it gets, I hope he will be with my side.
So happy to see that you know Sam and Nia! Love both of your channels.
Just Lisa Gomez said: "Perfect timing" - I love the emphasis on grace and healing you emphasize my friend
Where can I find the books that you were talking about? Thank you so much for talking about this kind of thing. Abuse is something that doesn't get talked about in the proper light enough. So many people joke about it and demean the victim, they don't even realize how damaging it is. Talking about it is healing.
This was something I needed to hear and it actually brought tears to my eyes. God Bless You Jeff. Thanks for doing this video it really helped me.
hey jeff i just wanna say that ur words have touched millions...ur videos show everyday on TV in our country n i just wanna say its an inspiration to live our lives in the path of righteouness n rightfulness
There is a problem with me though, there are times whereas i change, become a better person, do not watch porn for a whole week, then after that i fall straight back into it and keep doing it, i am afraid because of this i may lose grace because of my sin and my not being 'born again', please guide me into change!
Wow! Nice articulated message full of love and grace toward both men and women. Thank you for your care of this important issue. It is true, our kids are growing up with all this access to porn in their back pockets on their phones. Kind of crazy to think of that. We need to be hearing more and more of the things you taught on here.
This is something I really needed to hear... Thank you man... From the bottom of my heart...
I was molested when I was 4 by my friend's female relative. I didn't tell anyone because I did not quite understand what had happened to me, but I knew I felt ashamed. I just had this conversation with my father last night and I'm now 21. My father prayed for me and said the exact thing you said, that it's not my fault and I'm not responsible for her evil doing to me. I needed to hear this... That seed of lust was planted by the enemy but I thank God for His grace, forgiveness and deliverance. I have been set free in Jesus' name. Thank you for this video. God bless you.
at the moment im dealing with masturbation addiction. its been hard but since ive started praying, it took the edge off
wow im a fan basic of sam and nia i just watched their vlog and they encouraged us go check out your video i mean i was completely drawn to it in the first minute, you just won yourself a new fan and subscriber, man you doing this for the glory of god thats the best part about it
I was sexually assaulted from the time I was 8 until I was 11 (I'm 16 now). I still struggle with feeling guilty or anxious around boys because of it. Thanks Jeff for reminding me it's not my fault. It's encouraging to know other people say it's not my fault. Love you!!
Thank you, Jeff for your amazing words that have come at the absolute perfect time. This was just what I needed to hear! :)
I just came across your channel, I love they way you speak about everything with such fluency I can just see the way God moves through you and I was very inspired/ enlightened with all the that you say. You are doing wonderful things, God bless and I will be watching a lot more!
What a beautiful video! Seriously brought tears to my eye! Thank you so much for posting this.
Man.. I am thankful that my Russian friend from Moscow told me about you. Man, that part about transferring our sin to Jesus and giving it to him about brought tears in my eyes. Man, I've never had it explained that way ever, it makes so much sense. He is big enough to take away sin that we are struggling with in our lives.. I'll make sure to share some of your videos with my bible study group!
Thank you for this video, God bless you man
He's an example of a great feminist.
There is no such to be great feminist. Feminist are equal to Nazi
Art of street work out a feminist is someone who believes in gender equality.
No! Feminist want extra right, without extra responsibility.
I don't know you are Christian or free thinker. But all feminist (both Christian & free thinker) flocking him.
If we want to be honest (use free thinker logic). Porn and rape connection are correlation. Rape and women who don't own gun connection are cause and effect.
He is not that great, because he threat correlation as causation. (Since all atheist and people who respect logic think that Correlation does not imply causation). He is not great Christian either, for supporting government hand out for poor nation. (Government is theft. And remember Christan should condemn theft).
By logic standard. He is not good. He also not good in Christian standard either. What he is great on? Making misandrist people happy? LOL
I was a feminist, and I even quoted bible scriptures from Esther on why husbands should listen to their wives, and respect them. But I became highly offended when was being taken as a joke by the females themselves. They laughed at me as if I knew nothing about women, and as if I was showing false sympathy. That really hurts.
David Dazile those women are stupid and clearly dont understand the point of feminism.
This message hit me good Jeff. Thanks Jeff. God bless you and keep the good messages coming.
I'm just now finding this video and I wish I had found it years ago! Thank you Jefferson B for letting God lead you in everything!
I was asaulted in every possible way from my soon to be exhusband, healing from that has been so difficult! The fear of men is real and it leaves me never wanting to go places by myself or at dark. Even if that’s 830.. I’m constantly praying about it, but I’ve been told “you’ll still have flashbacks” and “you still have issues because of what happened” basically saying the Lord can’t heal me all the way. And I don’t believe it, my ex was dark skinned/hair/ eyes. And I’m polar opposite (blonde, green eyes and pale), when I was pregnant with my son I told people I was praying my son would look more like me (I didn’t want to not like him bc he looked like his father) and everyone,even my mom said we’ll get over it bc he’s going to be just like him. But I chose not to believe them and prayed either way that I would love him. My son was born blonde, blue eyed and pale. So I’m choosing not to believe what others are saying even if that mean I’m alone. I will be healed completely.. I just don’t know how to start😕 what are your thoughts? Any help would be great!
Thank you for this video. It popped up at the right time I believe :)
First, old thoughts of my past came.
Second, I didn't want to keep forgiving him because it was my past and I am done with it. Same with the m word that was introduced by him.
Third, I prayed to God and forgave him once again. Again about the m word.
Fourth, my daily devotions plus the video that lead me to another video on this topic.
Fifth, your video appeared on my Facebook Timeline and here I am.
Thank you Jeff for making this.
Thanks to God for setting this all up :)
So glad to see this video. I agree, I enjoy the fun vids but I loved seeing your raw reaction to a serious issue. I could really feel your heart.
You share some beautiful words in this video Jefferson. I haven't read all of the comments so someone may have already recommended this; but I highly, HIGHLY encourage reading the book "Surfing for God" by Michael John Cusick. I received this book from a friend and it has helped me see this issue of porn on a spiritual level. I'm still broken, been this way for 14 years, but I know the pain will be coming to an end. Bless you Jefferson, thank you for speaking about this!
Hi Jeff I'm just going to ask for help here. I'm currently going through depression and it's killing me spirituality and I feel lost and I sometimes overthink things and it feels like I'm losing my mind. I have a relationship with God I'm even a youth leader at a kamp but for some reason this depression has taken a hold of my life. I live in fear every day and I feel like I can't go on like this. I don't want to give up and all I am looking for is a way out. So please reply if you read this. Thank you for your videos and for making a difference.
I also have struggled with depression, primarily related to PTSD. I echo the other persons comment, it's not your fault. Worship! Also, do some kind of work that is outside of yourself. Volunteer and give of yourself to a cause you have a heart for, that has helped me a lot too!
Thank you all so much for the advice I'm glad that there are still people willing to help each other. Thank you Hayley I will do my best to recover and I know that God does not want this for me. Krystian Thank you I will go and take a look at that website. Thank you all.
Hey bro. It must be hard. Although I don't understand exactly what you're going through, you're not alone. We all have different problems some have it worse than others. For example myself, I suffer from general anxiety and its really hard but I have faith and I won't lose faith. Just keep your faith man!! It's the most important thing. Like bob78145 said, it could be the devil. The devil doesn't want to see you live a life close to God and he doesn't want to see you happy. He puts all these traps in our lives to make us give up on God. It's pretty crazy. When I first started getting close to God and reading the Bible and praying more often, that's when the devil stepped in. He finds your weak spots. For me it was going to parties and drinking with friends. After I started getting close to God, more of my friends started inviting me to parties and girls actually would text me to come to their house. Things like this didn't happen when I was distant from God. All in all I just want you to know that it could be the devil finding your weak spot (depression) and hoping you give up on God. Don't man. God is amazing. Just pray to him every night and don't be afraid to talk to him. Ask him questions tell him how you feel and tell him to help you. Tell God that you need him right now more than ever. And even if you don't see a change right away just keep having faith and keep praying. God is good and he will help you when he feels like it is time. I never really reply to comments but I had a strong urge to comment and tell you this. Just hang in there. Do you mind me asking how long have you been feeling depressed?
With prayer anything is possible. Try to focus on God. When your feeling depressed sing a song that's joyful and will help you get your mind off of things. Don't live your life with fear because God is with you!
I will be parting for you! God Bless!
Thanks for the Motivation guys and thanks for replying. I pray to God every night I always talk to him when I can. I am currently on antidepressants and I don't like It but i f I don't take it my depression just starts again. I have faith that it will end because I don't Feel like I can go on like this.Will Moran Thanks for the advice and motivation I have been depressed for about 2 Months now and I have been on antidepressants for 3 weeks now.
I love that you spoke on this! I work with teens who have dealt with severe trauma in regards to rape and sexual assault. They are desperate for a Jesus that their trauma refuses to allow them to rest on. I would love to check out some more solid Christian resources on this topic.
Thank you *****. From the first poem I watched until now, you've been amazing and on point (and with awesome facial expressions... *casually looks to the right and sees the "Being a Dad is AWESOME" video thumbnail*). Great video my friend. :)
Thanks for sharing. I've been struggling with this issue for years man. Praise God
Wow, this spoke so closely to me heart. What a wonderful description of God's grace! Thank you for bringing this issue to light.
That woman that wrote the letter watched Shane Koyczan because "Those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter" is a quote from one of his spoken word poems. I recommend watching his videos if you haven't already as they're very helpful I'm dark situations and are inspirational
This made me feel better about the whole molestation issue with my brother... Thank you.
This video came up at the most perfect time.
wow thanks Lisa. hope it encouraged you!
Definitely.& Thank YOU! You and your wife are so encouraging. God is going to continue blessing your family, keep up with the videos! (:
Why , you need that video. Then you really depressed
***** Not me mister perfect Superman
+Jefferson Bethke oh yeah it encourages people to watch more porn.
Praise God, I have never been a victim of sexual assault! Nevertheless, this video put tears in my eyes. I understand how things - porn and otherwise - can so easily be made into idols to which one becomes enslaved, and by which one becomes hollow. It is frightening to me to take a step back and truly look at the things and people in my life that I idolize, and hearing your words of caution and encouragement is always a boost in a positive direction! Thanks, Jeff. :)
So encouraged by you and your story. Praying and proud of you.
This means so much and thank you for making this video.
Thank you for this video. I have been a victim of sexual abuse in my life a couple of times, and this video has really touched my heart. God is good
Hey Jefferson, I came over from samuel8955's channel! I'm really glad you are supporting them, they are great people.
The video is so necessary and important, thank you for making this
Thank you for sharing this so much! When I was a sophmore in high school I got sexually abused by a trusted friend of mine that I had over when my parents weren't home & the abuse went on over the course of that whole year & I had to switch schools & no one but my parents believed me. The cops didn't believe me & the school office didn't believe me. It was horrible but now I'm 19 and am with my wonderful boyfriend that I've been dating for over a year & we plan to get engaged very soon! Thanks for the video!
It sad that happen, but i am totally disagree the idea of rape and porn are related. If there anything should be blame, is government who regulate gun.
I am every sorry that you had to go through that. I think God turn that situation into something good by showing you that you deserve a man that will treat you right. I been single for my whole life, I'm 18, never been kissed, and, I have dance with a few guys at a dance. I really don't know how relationships work, so can someone please tell me how it like to be in a relationship. I am really curious.
Priscila Palma
Every individual have different experience on their relationship. So i can't answer it for you. But one thing i can tell is about to have some one you love, and he love you back.
If you want to have that kind of person, that's a sign you want to have relationship. If not, then it's fine to be single.
Being single or to have some one you love is great. But the worst thing you can do, is to have unbalance relationship (love only come from one side).
Confident, nice, but don't be desperate for love. Be nice and give love, and if he give feed back for you love in sincere way, he is the right person.
Desperation of love and unbalance relationship is parent of all love abuse. If you ever heard story about girl, who being trick by her boy friend. It all because she desperate for love, and gave her love without question.
Confident, nice, give love and expect your target give balance love feedback. Good luck! I hope you find a good man.
It's easier to have unbalance relationship, but it's not worth the price
Priscila Palma
I have been in a relationship with my fiancé since I was 16 (I'm now 19), and we are getting married august 2015. That doesn't mean I know all about relationship, not at all, but I will really advise you to read "The meaning of marriage" by Tim Keller. It is wrote with singles in mind, and it's just so deep on so many levels that if you're curious about relationship that is one of the best ways to gain knowledge in a good way. You can start by reading one chapter if you're not to fond about reading - it is really really good! You can loan it from you're library or buy it - it will be one of the best investments you make in your life.
Being in a relationship has so many aspects so I can't tell you how it is without writing a book.
But the best relationship in the world make sure not to make the other person their "god" and their meaning in life. Only God can be that. And theres sooo much more - read the book! :)
I'm Muslim but I watch your all videos , thanks I'm finding them useful !
I was twelve when I was molested and it was by someone I trusted. I haven't been able to have normal relationships because of it. All I think about is that trust being taken advantage of again. I know God is leading me to the one who can heal me, but sometimes it's very hard not to trust someone you really want to trust.
Thanks so much for your kind words.
Listening to you talk about how porn makes the addict objectify himself, I just thought of the Psalm (115 &135) where it talks about idolatry. "Those who worship them become like them, as do all who trust in them." Very good perspective.
Thats crazy i follow you and i find you in the comment section in all the channels i love watching too ! :-)
NATHAN THORSON Duuuuude! That makes me excited too! I think I watched a lot of videos on this topic last summer because I wrote Delilah then. High five for finding me haha :D
Currently healing. Thank you for this video. It definitely helped.
You are honestly such an inspiration and I am so thankful to have found your channel :)
Wow i needed to hear this! I have battled this for years! So powerful!
I have a cousin who was abused as a child and teen by her father and stepfather and her sister was also abused. Her sister committed suicide. Her brother committed suicide as well, but it's not certain whether he was abused or not. My cousin forgave her father and stepfather, but never sought justice for her sister or brother. Her stepfather is now elderly and has not spent one day in jail. He is even considered an elder in his community. It bothers me that any god could allow all that hurt and pain to happen to my cousins and after over twenty years, there is no justice for them.
Fantastic video Jeff, one of your best ones yet. Sending you love and prayers from Ohio!
I cannot express to you enough how much I needed to hear this..thank you. God is surely using you to do great things :)
Your amazing Jeff I know God's proud of you and loves you more than anything and don't pay any attention to the bad comments people post on here there blind people and there stuck in the darkness but just don't see it because there spiritually blind but I hope they will find the light and love from Christ one day and keep making videos because I'm always watching God bless you.Amen
I need help getting rid of porn... I am a teenage girl who has been struggling with this for a long long time! It feels like a drug... I managed to get away from it a few times but every time something triggers it in me, I can't seem to stop, until I get drawn away from God... And then when I start to rebuild the relationship it seems to return and it makes me feel helpless... I know I have to stop but part of me is too addicted 😫! I don't know what to do
Tladi Phasha Hey Tlad! :) Just know that just because I totally understand what you mean, just know that to break out of porn to be honest there is no specific way. Take it from me, all of these sites and little "training sessions" online don't ever help because the urge to look at it again and again will always creep up on you if you allow it too. Now also take this advice from me that I know that the only true way of that stopping porn addiction in your life is by constantly praying every single day and giving Christ the thanks and worship for the victory over this addiction that is already yours. Never ever feel discouraged because I know at times you'll mess up and screw up and watch it again and fail, but don't let that discourage you bro! Only let that motivate you in a sense the if you keep pushing forward, you are one step closer to finally ending this addiction! No one is perfect. We all make mistakes and that is why we all come to JESUS to forgive us for those mistakes! Love you Tlad and just know that you can do it! :)
Ryanium I must say, that is by far the most encouraging advice I have come across and I am truly greatful for it! Thanx a million 😊. May the good Lord continue giving you the wisdom you require!! Once again, thank you :)
Anytime! Just never forget that no matter how many times you fail at something, don't let up and just believe the battle is over because in reality the devil wants you to believe that your victory to this addiction or whatever it may be that might come in your way in life, Jesus said that he would pick you up every time you fall! I'm glad to have been able to find your reply and give you an answer to it but just remember that its not me who was tell you this. It was Christ who was within me reaching out to you through me and he wants me to honestly tell you right now because i feel it in my heart that he loves and is crazy about you every single day! So stay strong and know that you're not alone. :) Tladi Phasha
This video is so important!
I really appreciate this more than words can explain.
Thank you so much!
Thank you so much Jeff. Ive been dealing with this issue recently as a result of the Title IX investigation into TBDBITL, which at the heart of it is a sexual assault. I know the victim and have been trying to just be there for her while this controversy encircles the OSU community and alumni. I have posted the video to her wall. thank you so much again.