feel like 3-5 days is okay to go without talking. If I’m first getting to know someone I don’t want to talk to them everyday, it kills all the mystery. I would rather go slow in the process and talk more on the date and build attraction on the date. Busy people aren’t going to have time to talk every day when they first meet someone.
Agree. But next you will have female "coaches" commenting that he should text you, oh correction CALL you, EVERYDAY, or he doesn't like you and blah blah. Happened every time I commented something similar.
I had a guy I met online...we talked for about 3 weeks before meeting and because I wouldn't let him come over and stay the night he cut the date short and left to go back to Nashville. He use to call everyday that all stopped after that. Never heard from him again.....
Don’t meet guys online. They are there to hit it and quit it. It’s a place where people can pretend and lie and hide. Men like to live out their fantasies through the internet dating just like gaming and porn.
@@claudiaclaudia8599 Why would you marry a guy who needs money from a woman? You might as well marry another woman. If the man cannot make your life better in all ways, stay single. And always run a background check on the men who are interested in you. You’ll find that most guys are up to some bullshit and save yourself a lot of trouble.
They have what is known as the approach avoidance conflict. They want intimacy and connection... they think they can do it! And then when it gets too real for them, or they start to feel emotions, they employ distancing strategies. The hot and cold cycle is activated. Dismissive avoidant usually had a parent who completely emotionally abandoned them. They are self soothers and don’t want to rely on anyone. It triggers their core wounds.
@@laluna424 I’m not a therapist. I’ve just researched and studied it way too much for my own good. 😂 I’m a really introspective person, and always try to figure out my own behavior, and why I end up in certain dynamics. Sadly, I’ve dealt with men who are dismissive avoidant, and/or have a cluster B disorder. I truly believe that if you cultivate enough self love, and have healthy boundaries you can spot all the red flags before you go down into the abyss of toxic relationships. They are really hard to get out of, and the reason is usually intermittent reinforcement.
I love your videos. I wish i found you months ago though. It would have saved me some heartbreak. However I'm more prepared for the next time. Thank you Elliot. Much love ❤😁
You would think a 56 year old man wouldn’t play games but even at that age they do and what makes it worse they have that New Jersey superior attitude.
Thankyou so much Elliot ! This was my experience and ended up Ghosted and devastated. It’s so nice to be able to watch your videos and fix all my mistakes while also avoiding making future ones . Thankyou so much again !
I dated a guy that wanted to wait for sex. I appreciated that but felt it was strange. He lived with friends and family and always told me he loved me and we should live together. I own my home and Im financially stable so I thought maybe he's trying to use me. He isnt physically attracted to me but I have a lovely peaceful home.
Just went through this, we went from talking all day long to not even saying hello. I really thought I had found a good one but it all exploted on my face. I feel like a lost cause right now 😔
"Daniela Valencia Galarza," No he is the lost cause because every good woman that comes along like you he doesn't value. Until it is too late. Do yourself a favour and don't take him back especially if he returns down the road as if he has disregarded you this time round he will do it again. The right guy is out there for you. For now take time to self love and build your self up without the need for a man. I went through this recently, same as you. They are low effort low value men and next time no cookie giving until you want too. I held out and very glad I did and do until I am sure.
This guy started out the gate passion bombing me. Then says he's fallen in love with me. Sent love songs and everything a woman wants. He is a well off guy, interesting in every way but his wife died 5 years ago. He's had 3 relationships since then. I'm assuming I am number 4... All of the sudden he stops calling as often, not answering texts for days, not spending much time at all with me. Saying he's so busy with work. Is he emotionally unavailable because of his wife dying 5 years ago? He is still saying he loves me but is so busy but plans to make changes to his schedule soon and will be able to spend more time with me. I am always crushed by his lack of attention and effort. I am not a priority in his life. I want to let go but am so in love. I feel like he has my heart on a string!
This dude that I used to talk to apparently his new girl he took her to meet his family already and they aren’t even in a relationship yet just talking, I’m like really that’s very fast and girl told me she was supposed to be married in July
Elliot, can you just please for once talk about nice things guys do? 😂I dont think I have ever seen you make a video about for instance "Nice things guys do when they like a girl" etc. Just something that put guys in good light for a sec.😂
Can you make a video on how guys don't always have someone else there if they're being distant? They could have so many other reasons than another woman. People always act like that's the only reason.
It's obvious he don't want you even if it's not another woman. A man being distant speaks volumes about what he wants and it's not the woman he is being distant with.
Is there a way u can get these emotionally unavailable guys 2c tht they can change 2 bein emotionally available?? Iv spent 2yrs with 1 & he left me coz his head cant handle bein in love bcoz of wot he's imagining me doing when im not with him. We worked so well 2gethr but he just can't trust any1 & it killed it. What can I do to help ease his crazy overactive mind?
No. You can’t do anything. You want to savehim, fix him, help heal him,. You can’t. It will destroy you. It’s not your job to fix a man, you are not a rehabilitation center. As someone who is empathetic, you probably feel his pain, but it is his to heal. He has to do the inner work. The hot and cold cycle he’s creating with you, is because he has an internal conflict, and also because you allow this to continue. What you permit, you promote. I strongly encourage you to have healthy boundaries. Don’t let him come and go as he pleases. Don’t try to get inside his head about what he’s thinking and feeling, it constantly shifts.
@@SK-no2pp Thanks🙂 I dont want to fix him as such, I like him as he is. I just feel sorry for him coz he's gonna b alone forever. We'v been split up & not really talking much for 7mth now. Im not bothered with him anymore but I will always like him coz I know his background & we'v been friends since our teens. & yeah im an empath for my sins & probably slightly damaged myself when it comes to upholding a healthy relationships. Idk how to conduct myself accordingly & find it too hard to change my ways for some1. Apart from my 18yr r'ship my longest was 3yrs 😕🤷🏻♀️
@@karrynlipsett5187 he’s going to be alone forever not because of you, but because he chooses not to change, heal, or address his issue. We can and should always have compassion for someone, but you can love him from a far, and choose not to actively be hurt by him
For an ego trip so you come chasing him...first time it happens i do nothing and get on with life but when he comes back round make him aware i aint into games and hot/cold behaviour, if he's busy or has stuff to be doing then say so...if he does it a 2nd time he's blew it, i shut that shit down very quickly and leave em to freeze xo
Just some honest insight here: I always appreciate how honest and straight forward you are, but the overall energy of your videos tends to lean negative/pessimistic which doesn’t make me want to binge watch your videos like other relationship advice videos/gurus
Will a guy say he wants to be in a relationship (going so far as putting it on social media he's with you) just to get a girl in bed, without actually being serious about it? It seems the main point of us spending time together is him getting me into bed. I can't get comfortable and enjoy our time together because the pattern has shown just this. FYI, we started talking 10/21. So it hasn't been months and months Please help 😔
If you're already feeling uncomfortable that's a red flag in itself. Keep talking to him but don't go over to his place or bring him to yours. Stick to public dates only. Yes men will put up things on social media to get what they want from you. He can put up that status so you and he can see it but other contacts can't. Have you slept with him yet?
Narcissist always move to fast,watch out ladies.
Yes, it's totally true.
Wait whattt
Simple don’t give up the cookie. If he leaves, good. No loss.
You are so right. Last guy love bombed me and it's been downhill since. About ready to change my number.
feel like 3-5 days is okay to go without talking. If I’m first getting to know someone I don’t want to talk to them everyday, it kills all the mystery. I would rather go slow in the process and talk more on the date and build attraction on the date. Busy people aren’t going to have time to talk every day when they first meet someone.
Yeah....I don't mind having a mini crises as long as the partner can handle it.
Agree. But next you will have female "coaches" commenting that he should text you, oh correction CALL you, EVERYDAY, or he doesn't like you and blah blah. Happened every time I commented something similar.
@@adday. None of that he doesn't have your number. But ya keep getting mad when you don't hear from him.
@@LakeInTheDarkProductions What are you talking about. I hear from my crush daily now. He finds the weidest nerdiest excuses to write me.
@@adday. 😶 Just not wanting to b a creeper.
Sometimes I hate that you’re ALWAYS right 🥺
I had a guy I met online...we talked for about 3 weeks before meeting and because I wouldn't let him come over and stay the night he cut the date short and left to go back to Nashville. He use to call everyday that all stopped after that. Never heard from him again.....
That's what i call the trash taking itself out...ya dodged a bullet xo
Don’t meet guys online. They are there to hit it and quit it. It’s a place where people can pretend and lie and hide. Men like to live out their fantasies through the internet dating just like gaming and porn.
Do you live in Murfreesboro?
@@j-tenn226 no I'm sorry I don't....
Wow...
Make him marry you first. These days, there is no other way to tell.
If you have money,he’ll marry you for it and still not be interested in you as a person.I know people who did it for health insurance.
@@claudiaclaudia8599 Why would you marry a guy who needs money from a woman? You might as well marry another woman. If the man cannot make your life better in all ways, stay single. And always run a background check on the men who are interested in you. You’ll find that most guys are up to some bullshit and save yourself a lot of trouble.
@@claudiaclaudia8599 q
👀😳👁️👄👁️
Dismissive Advoidants do this with every relationship.
100% I second this big time been there done that . Not to forget narcissist. All narcissist does love bombing too.
They have what is known as the approach avoidance conflict. They want intimacy and connection... they think they can do it! And then when it gets too real for them, or they start to feel emotions, they employ distancing strategies. The hot and cold cycle is activated. Dismissive avoidant usually had a parent who completely emotionally abandoned them. They are self soothers and don’t want to rely on anyone. It triggers their core wounds.
Facts
@@SK-no2pp I was wondering u r always spot on with the attachment style. R u a therapist or just interested in psychology?
@@laluna424 I’m not a therapist. I’ve just researched and studied it way too much for my own good. 😂 I’m a really introspective person, and always try to figure out my own behavior, and why I end up in certain dynamics. Sadly, I’ve dealt with men who are dismissive avoidant, and/or have a cluster B disorder. I truly believe that if you cultivate enough self love, and have healthy boundaries you can spot all the red flags before you go down into the abyss of toxic relationships. They are really hard to get out of, and the reason is usually intermittent reinforcement.
I've got nothing to worry about. 45 year old crush moves at turtle pace.
I love your videos. I wish i found you months ago though. It would have saved me some heartbreak. However I'm more prepared for the next time. Thank you Elliot. Much love ❤😁
You would think a 56 year old man wouldn’t play games but even at that age they do and what makes it worse they have that New Jersey superior attitude.
That's too old to playing games I agree he in his mid life crises 😂
Good to know that New Jersey superior attitude is a thing. I had a roommate from NJ and she always had a stick up her ass 🙄
I'm born and raised on the jersey shore, and we do not put up with no ones bullshit...
@@strive09 Age has nothing to do with maturity, some people never learn and wisen up
Hits home :/ too real. Be aware darlings.
.....and emotionally immature....usually of a teenage boy....!! Great vid Elliot...all 100% true!
I’m glad I found your videos this year. It’s helped me come to terms with what’s really going on, and I don’t have to wonder and get hurt by it.
I can recommend you to a Powerful man who can help you out Manifest anything that you want in 24hr
@@mariefrancis6509 oh yeah who’s that? If you say anyone other than Jesus, I may not take you seriously 😅
@@sarab8215 Haha love your response. Yes, Jesus is the only way to everything we need!🙌🙏
Thankyou so much Elliot ! This was my experience and ended up Ghosted and devastated. It’s so nice to be able to watch your videos and fix all my mistakes while also avoiding making future ones . Thankyou so much again !
I dated a guy that wanted to wait for sex. I appreciated that but felt it was strange. He lived with friends and family and always told me he loved me and we should live together. I own my home and Im financially stable so I thought maybe he's trying to use me. He isnt physically attracted to me but I have a lovely peaceful home.
Spot on advice! This is exactly what I am dealing with. Time to let him go.
What he moves fast and asks you to be his girlfriend in month? Red flag?
Idk how you do it Elliot but 99.9% of the videos you post correlate to what I'm going through. Thank you!
I needed this… thank you so much
Thanks for the video. Its helpful for me.
Just went through this, we went from talking all day long to not even saying hello. I really thought I had found a good one but it all exploted on my face. I feel like a lost cause right now 😔
"Daniela Valencia Galarza," No he is the lost cause because every good woman that comes along like you he doesn't value. Until it is too late. Do yourself a favour and don't take him back especially if he returns down the road as if he has disregarded you this time round he will do it again. The right guy is out there for you. For now take time to self love and build your self up without the need for a man. I went through this recently, same as you. They are low effort low value men and next time no cookie giving until you want too. I held out and very glad I did and do until I am sure.
Good topic. Awsome content👌
Good information! Bless you.
Helpful!! Thanks Elliot.
That makes sense, thanks
What if he's rushing too much too much pda early
This guy started out the gate passion bombing me. Then says he's fallen in love with me. Sent love songs and everything a woman wants. He is a well off guy, interesting in every way but his wife died 5 years ago. He's had 3 relationships since then. I'm assuming I am number 4...
All of the sudden he stops calling as often, not answering texts for days, not spending much time at all with me. Saying he's so busy with work. Is he emotionally unavailable because of his wife dying 5 years ago? He is still saying he loves me but is so busy but plans to make changes to his schedule soon and will be able to spend more time with me. I am always crushed by his lack of attention and effort. I am not a priority in his life. I want to let go but am so in love. I feel like he has my heart on a string!
Elliot , Thank You!
Thank you!
This dude that I used to talk to apparently his new girl he took her to meet his family already and they aren’t even in a relationship yet just talking, I’m like really that’s very fast and girl told me she was supposed to be married in July
It hurts man
Elliot, can you just please for once talk about nice things guys do? 😂I dont think I have ever seen you make a video about for instance "Nice things guys do when they like a girl" etc. Just something that put guys in good light for a sec.😂
So an emotionally unavailable guy is a guy with fake game and he can't back his words with actions coz he's an LBB? lol
@@Lisa-th9dg he he
Yup he’s a f*ck boy
Can you make a video on how guys don't always have someone else there if they're being distant? They could have so many other reasons than another woman. People always act like that's the only reason.
This would be a good video for me, the FIRST thing I SUSPECT is that his attention is with another woman. (I know where my work lies)
It's obvious he don't want you even if it's not another woman. A man being distant speaks volumes about what he wants and it's not the woman he is being distant with.
Is there a way u can get these emotionally unavailable guys 2c tht they can change 2 bein emotionally available?? Iv spent 2yrs with 1 & he left me coz his head cant handle bein in love bcoz of wot he's imagining me doing when im not with him. We worked so well 2gethr but he just can't trust any1 & it killed it. What can I do to help ease his crazy overactive mind?
He needs to d ok inner work with a very good therapist.
No. You can’t do anything. You want to savehim, fix him, help heal him,. You can’t. It will destroy you. It’s not your job to fix a man, you are not a rehabilitation center. As someone who is empathetic, you probably feel his pain, but it is his to heal. He has to do the inner work. The hot and cold cycle he’s creating with you, is because he has an internal conflict, and also because you allow this to continue. What you permit, you promote. I strongly encourage you to have healthy boundaries. Don’t let him come and go as he pleases. Don’t try to get inside his head about what he’s thinking and feeling, it constantly shifts.
@@SK-no2pp
Thanks🙂 I dont want to fix him as such, I like him as he is. I just feel sorry for him coz he's gonna b alone forever. We'v been split up & not really talking much for 7mth now. Im not bothered with him anymore but I will always like him coz I know his background & we'v been friends since our teens. & yeah im an empath for my sins & probably slightly damaged myself when it comes to upholding a healthy relationships. Idk how to conduct myself accordingly & find it too hard to change my ways for some1. Apart from my 18yr r'ship my longest was 3yrs 😕🤷🏻♀️
@@claudiaclaudia8599
I know. Iv been doing a lot of inner work since we split, this ex taught me a lot about a lot 😂
@@karrynlipsett5187 he’s going to be alone forever not because of you, but because he chooses not to change, heal, or address his issue. We can and should always have compassion for someone, but you can love him from a far, and choose not to actively be hurt by him
Notification Squad....and 1st// Again! 💀💕
Sounds familiar
Why some guys play hot and cold with women that they have a relationship with?.
In the times when they are cold they are giving their attention to someone else...?
Look up dismissive avoidant
For an ego trip so you come chasing him...first time it happens i do nothing and get on with life but when he comes back round make him aware i aint into games and hot/cold behaviour, if he's busy or has stuff to be doing then say so...if he does it a 2nd time he's blew it, i shut that shit down very quickly and leave em to freeze xo
When he played hot or cold.. just leave... don’t waste Time.. your Time is more important than him.
It doesn't always mean there's someone else there
Stop crushing my hopes Elliot wtf
Just some honest insight here: I always appreciate how honest and straight forward you are, but the overall energy of your videos tends to lean negative/pessimistic which doesn’t make me want to binge watch your videos like other relationship advice videos/gurus
Will a guy say he wants to be in a relationship (going so far as putting it on social media he's with you) just to get a girl in bed, without actually being serious about it?
It seems the main point of us spending time together is him getting me into bed. I can't get comfortable and enjoy our time together because the pattern has shown just this.
FYI, we started talking 10/21. So it hasn't been months and months
Please help 😔
If you're already feeling uncomfortable that's a red flag in itself. Keep talking to him but don't go over to his place or bring him to yours. Stick to public dates only. Yes men will put up things on social media to get what they want from you. He can put up that status so you and he can see it but other contacts can't. Have you slept with him yet?
He puts it on social media to make feel comfortable and believe that he has serious intentions.
Don’t sleep with him this happened to me
Similar situation i would say block him he just only wants to have sex i was blindsided and I fell for the trap just block him hes a waste of time .
🤙
🎄🎁✨🕯️