I am awaken by your and others videos to the devastating fact of being in marriage based on “reenactment of my original trauma”… after 46 years I am exhausted and burned out. Desperately wanting to free myself but feeling trapped by my care for our children and grandchildren. Don’t know how to escape … thank you 🙏 for all you do Dr. Clayton ❤
hi, names Daniel. i too did 46 yrs, since i was 13 yrs old, however if you don't take charge of yourself, the abuser will do it behind your back, make it so you have no options and abandonment will follow. turn your children and grandchildren against you, You are all BAD and they conveince the family they are all GOOD, Sadistic at the end of the relationship, intentionally 46 years, one day i witness the mask slipping. No idea who I spent my life with, not a word of truth, 5 hidden accounts 1/2 million dollars of debt and dropped my dog off at the spca the ... had a flying monkey do it. and a hundred other dispicable destructive actions,,,, be very carefull say nothing to anyone find support, rather than tell chidren, ask question, how do you feel if i had 5 hidden acounts terrible if i did, but because it was tge narc, she wasprotecting herself financially because of some lame excuse, takes years of kaos to heal,after you leave best wishes
@@danielkirkby2404 Thank you. Keep focus on healing yourself. Choose healthy people as a support network. Take walks outdoor - it is soothing for our nervous system. Best wishes to you too.
Thank you for making this information so clear! I married the unavailable person and spent 20 years trying to heal in relationship before I chose myself and escaped the narcissist I married. Still learning and still healing. Thank you!
On my healing journey I am currently stuck in this exact problem. I recognize the toxicity of the relationship and get out really early, mostly before the devaluing and discarding even begins. However im always drawn to this type of person again that represents the early toxic relationships i had in my life. I am going to make a list just like you said to set an end to this. Thank you very much Dr. Clayton.
What a blessing. I’ve heard of choosing me. But when you’re actually on the healing “recovery” path it has an entirely different meaning and hits in a unique way. Thank you for the road you paved in your healing journey to deliver this message ❤
I had no idea that I did this through most of my life. I finally met and married a wonderful man. I thought that middle-aged love was different (and had less chemiistry), but I think it's got more to do with it not being a trauma bond. Thank you!
All of this is 100% me. Thank you for this discussion. ❤️I have felt crazy and lost for so long. But now as I am seeing my patterns of reactment from my trauma I know what I was looking for and begin to find that within myself.
I’m studying to become a counsellor, I have learned so much from you to add to my course and personal life. Thank you for this wonderful free opportunity to learn.
I did the same thing with my ex girlfriend. Bottom line, I abandoned myself, entirely. I’ve been lost for about 4 years and battling health issues (self hatred aside lol). I thought our trauma bond was being in love. Lol! For the first time!! I am ordering your book. Could you possibly do a video touching on the kinds of therapists that treat CPTSD? I know I need a trauma therapist but no idea how to go about finding the right one for me. I’ve been in cbt for many years. Cbt is fantastic in many ways but, the identity disruption I experience is remarkable and shakes up my whole life. I want to reprocess my trauma. I miss feeling part of the world.
This is definitely something I do. I thought it was always love, but you’re right - the ones I had such chemistry with were not right for me. Now I realise it.
Thank you!!!!! I have listened to this over and over because it is my entire existence!!! Bless you Ingrid!!! For the bravery, vulnerability and wisdom to put words to trauma! ❤
Thanks for sharing these videos. Breaking the trauma cycle can feel hopeless. It's helpful to listen to someone with a psychological background talking about her experience of ending the cycle.
What a great video. I wish your book has an audiobook version. I currently don’t have time to sit and read. But I love listening to audiobooks before bedtime or driving, or grocery shopping, etc…
Ingrid this is my story 100% Narcissistic dad, narcissistic boyfriends. 4 of them. It never got better. I never worked my childhood problemw out this way.
Thank you for this. It was brilliant! Really confronting message for me but I couldn't have found it at a better time. Looking forward to reading your book now.
Wow. Thank you. This had so much for me to unpack that your 13:08 took me two days, and I probably will be back to it. I had to pause, listen again, write in my journal, cry, walk outside, etc. I am at the end of year two of this journey. Welcome aboard! I can see that you are going to be very helpful.
Sharing traumatic personal history is probably good for a support group run by a therapist but not sure how helpful it is in a You Tube setting. Just one person’s opinion.
Thank you ! I have been through this for years until I started to do the family of origin work, telling myself the truth, as well as understanding how I carry the traits of a disorganized attachment style. The awakening hurt tremendously, the layers of self rescuing brought up incredible buried grief. It’s not over for my transformation and I am now in a long term kind fun genuine relationship…. ❤️🩹
![เปิดใจ "อาจารย์เบียร์ คนตื่นธรรม" อดีตเคยสุดทุกทาง ถ้าใช้หนี้หมดไปบวชแน่ l [Nickynachat]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/IxeE0xVhy08/mqdefault.jpg)
I am awaken by your and others videos to the devastating fact of being in marriage based on “reenactment of my original trauma”… after 46 years I am exhausted and burned out. Desperately wanting to free myself but feeling trapped by my care for our children and grandchildren. Don’t know how to escape … thank you 🙏 for all you do Dr. Clayton ❤
@Eed thank you.🙏❤
hi, names Daniel. i too did 46 yrs, since i was 13 yrs old, however if you don't take charge of yourself, the abuser will do it behind your back, make it so you have no options and abandonment will follow. turn your children and grandchildren against you, You are all BAD and they conveince the family they are all GOOD, Sadistic at the end of the relationship, intentionally
46 years, one day i witness the mask slipping. No idea who I spent my life with, not a word of truth, 5 hidden accounts
1/2 million dollars of debt and dropped my dog off at the spca the ... had a flying monkey do it. and a hundred other dispicable destructive actions,,,, be very carefull say nothing to anyone find support, rather than tell chidren, ask question, how do you feel if i had 5 hidden acounts terrible if i did, but because it was tge narc, she wasprotecting herself financially because of some lame excuse, takes years of kaos to heal,after you leave best wishes
@@danielkirkby2404 Thank you. Keep focus on healing yourself. Choose healthy people as a support network. Take walks outdoor - it is soothing for our nervous system. Best wishes to you too.
There are extration team. They help you disappear.
Thank you for explaining a trauma bond clearly. For survivors, familiarity with a new person may be a red flag🚩
absolutely-spot on !
Can be still a healthy familiarity, for people having similar wounds
I just found out about your book BELIEVING ME, by DR RAMANI who I adore. She says it's great.
I'm so grateful for all she does for survivors! And her endorsement means the world to me.
@@IngridClaytonPhD Thank you both so much.
Your explanation of trauma reenactment makes so much sense. I am practicing choosing me. ✌🏾❤️🩹
This makes so much sense for what I'm currently doing with a guy! I also had a narcissistic father!
Thank you for making this information so clear! I married the unavailable person and spent 20 years trying to heal in relationship before I chose myself and escaped the narcissist I married. Still learning and still healing. Thank you!
Important info! Need this to replace the limerence/ princess model.
Dr. Clayton, you are a teacher like no other, please keep guiding us. Your knowledge is setting the imprisoned free!!
Here from Patrick Teehan, a wonderfullly articulate and super creative soul! You both are a gift to those of us who continue to grow awareness!
On my healing journey I am currently stuck in this exact problem. I recognize the toxicity of the relationship and get out really early, mostly before the devaluing and discarding even begins. However im always drawn to this type of person again that represents the early toxic relationships i had in my life. I am going to make a list just like you said to set an end to this. Thank you very much Dr. Clayton.
What a blessing. I’ve heard of choosing me. But when you’re actually on the healing “recovery” path it has an entirely different meaning and hits in a unique way. Thank you for the road you paved in your healing journey to deliver this message
❤
I had no idea that I did this through most of my life. I finally met and married a wonderful man. I thought that middle-aged love was different (and had less chemiistry), but I think it's got more to do with it not being a trauma bond. Thank you!
Hope: the double-edged sword I grabbed at blindfolded, and barehanded. What a bloody mess!
Great video, thank you👌🏼⚔💜
So glad you're on TH-cam now with longer videos. Love your Reels and your humor and of cause your insight and wisdom!
All of this is 100% me. Thank you for this discussion. ❤️I have felt crazy and lost for so long. But now as I am seeing my patterns of reactment from my trauma I know what I was looking for and begin to find that within myself.
I’m studying to become a counsellor, I have learned so much from you to add to my course and personal life. Thank you for this wonderful free opportunity to learn.
Amazing video...still doing the work! Thanks for this very healing video!
I did the same thing with my ex girlfriend. Bottom line, I abandoned myself, entirely. I’ve been lost for about 4 years and battling health issues (self hatred aside lol).
I thought our trauma bond was being in love. Lol! For the first time!!
I am ordering your book. Could you possibly do a video touching on the kinds of therapists that treat CPTSD? I know I need a trauma therapist but no idea how to go about finding the right one for me. I’ve been in cbt for many years. Cbt is fantastic in many ways but, the identity disruption I experience is remarkable and shakes up my whole life. I want to reprocess my trauma. I miss feeling part of the world.
Omg this is my story!!! This is me! Wow!
This is definitely something I do. I thought it was always love, but you’re right - the ones I had such chemistry with were not right for me. Now I realise it.
You are totally talking to my soul here.
Thank you!!!!! I have listened to this over and over because it is my entire existence!!! Bless you Ingrid!!! For the bravery, vulnerability and wisdom to put words to trauma! ❤
Thanks for sharing these videos. Breaking the trauma cycle can feel hopeless. It's helpful to listen to someone with a psychological background talking about her experience of ending the cycle.
What a great video. I wish your book has an audiobook version. I currently don’t have time to sit and read. But I love listening to audiobooks before bedtime or driving, or grocery shopping, etc…
It's coming on Audio soon per Dr Ramani reference.
Oof: "Red flags don't look like red flags, when they' feel like home..." boom: that hit hard! SO true. TY.
Ingrid this is my story 100% Narcissistic dad, narcissistic boyfriends. 4 of them. It never got better. I never worked my childhood problemw out this way.
100% my story. finally got it too. thanks for sharing.
👏💝🙏Happy to see you here🤩
Wow I NEEDED to hear this! Thank you so much!
Thank you so much, it was an amazing video. Looking forward to more .x
Marvellous!
Thank you for this video. I definitely need to heal from trauma reenactment. Thank you for explaining this concept.
Thank you for this. It was brilliant! Really confronting message for me but I couldn't have found it at a better time. Looking forward to reading your book now.
Thank you so much for this video, helped me a lot in my emotional flashback meeting sister of my narc ex!
This is very a propos for me! Thank you!~
Wow. Thank you. This had so much for me to unpack that your 13:08 took me two days, and I probably will be back to it. I had to pause, listen again, write in my journal, cry, walk outside, etc. I am at the end of year two of this journey. Welcome aboard! I can see that you are going to be very helpful.
Thank you for posting Ingrid. ❤
Excellent!
Super excited for you to be here! I’ve been following you🙏🏻
Thank you for starting this channel. Huge fan of yours. Ana from Argentina!!!!!!
Thank you so much!
Best explanation I have ever heard ❤
Thank you so much for this
So well explained, excellent!
Super intresting
This!...& Why I became celibate 20+ years ago!
love this
🙏🏻 🌟 🙏
💗🙏🙏🙏
🦋🌧️🏔️🌊🪽💗
Sharing traumatic personal history is probably good for a support group run by a therapist but not sure how helpful it is in a You Tube setting. Just one person’s opinion.
Thank you !
I have been through this for years until I started to do the family of origin work, telling myself the truth, as well as understanding how I carry the traits of a disorganized attachment style. The awakening hurt tremendously, the layers of self rescuing brought up incredible buried grief.
It’s not over for my transformation and I am now in a long term kind fun genuine relationship….
❤️🩹