Book CommuniTEA: SOME OF Y'ALL ARE NOT OK!!! [CC]
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 26 ส.ค. 2024
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Hey hey! Chiiiiile, on #BookCommuniTEA this week, we're talking about the MESS that's been discussed on Twitter re age appropriate romance. What is going awn!? Thanks for watching!
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I feel like it’s very reasonable to want your niece to have a more realistic depiction of teen romance, instead of reading romance centered on adults …? Why is this controversial? It would’ve been VERY helpful to me at that age to understand how relationships work for actual teenagers.
Like Better Than The Movies, it's really cute and age appropriate. But even if books are age appropriate it doesn't mean it's better sometimes. I was obsessed with Twilight as a teenager and thought that love meant giving your entire being to someone else and that nothing matters outside that relationship. Obviously that's toxic af, even if those books didn't have sex scenes
I agree. I guess it’s because the YA age category has been taken over by uh, adults in their 30s 😵💫
Going to start throwing out the p-word. it's becoming too common place to introduce kids to books that would be on the HUB or outright illegal if it were adapted to movie form. YA is young adult not young and adult.
I feel like it’s one thing for children to read adult books on their own, but it’s another for adults to give them adult books or categorize them as something they’re not.
100% agree! From the perspective of the teen: imagine how uncomfortable it might make you to be gifted a very explicit book from your aunt when you’re just trying to explore these topics in your own private space?! Yikes! Talking to kids about healthy relationships (including sexual ones) is so important, but you have to let the kid come to you with questions. Not insert yourself and your views on them without prompting imo
@@renee_3364 Agreed! I feel like it makes sense for a parent or guardian to bring up the subject with their children. It’s also reasonable for the aunt to try to go with more age appropriate book options after talking to her niece. Too many people place their own opinions on someone else’s situation, and they don’t even know them.
I agree. A lot of girls that age can get swept up into a lot of dark fan fiction and literary content with a graphic sexual nature. They shouldn’t be recommending a bunch of adult books solely for this reason because she will still not fully be able to relate to those romantic and sexual themes.
Does anyone else think that the pushback that woman got for seeking out age-appropriate book recs for her niece is creepy af?? Yeah, I snuck in X-rated content as a tween and a teen, but would I NEVER recommend X-rated content to my niece (who’s a kid). Ugh…smh
Yep. It's very creepy. There's a difference between a kid seeking out inappropriate content and being shown inappropriate content by an adult.
seriously!!! we can acknowledge that teens read inappropriate stuff while also not actively giving them x-rated stuff to read jeez
Me where is this girl mother opinion on this situation. It should have been the aunt going to her mum.
The "maybe your niece is kinky" person - definitely lol. But the other ones had some violence (specifically gendered violence) as main tropes so it kinda goes back to R--e culture and how normalized it is imo.
THIS! Kids *choosing* something adult is VERY different than RECOMMENDING something adult. I’m gonna recc age-appropriate books for my kids, but also let them pick what they want from library (and then force long convos, esp about all those domestic violence/SA plot lines).
I hate when adults say "I read erotica at 15 and I'm fine" and you scroll through their tweets/replies and it's very clear they are not fine.
Like yeah I might be fine but it doesn’t mean it was good for me. And I’m fine now because I’m 26 and started reading it like 14 years ago, it doesn’t mean it was normal 🤣 I don’t think we should stop kids reading erotic fiction because they’ll find it if they want it (I did), but conversations about sex also just… never happened in my family. Like not a single one about periods. So I got it elsewhere 🤷🏻♀️
@@losermillie Kids will always stumble on different kinds of adult content but they still need context for it. Erotic fiction is not a replacement for real sex ed and shouldn't be treated as such. It's literally a fantasy.
this is the perfect example of when someone said “you could tweet ‘i like pancakes’ and someone could be like ‘so you hate waffles!’”
the urge to literally scream at "your minor niece might be kinky" nearly got to me. i'm dead. this is why the girlies be making fun of romance readers, karen needs to get off twitter
gosh i havent started the video yet and this is already scaring me 😭
the way I yelled omg
I legit howled! Miss ma’am said it so earnestly like this could be a valid point
I physically couldnt close my mouth for the rest of the video. Jaw was to the damn FLOOR
I yelled. What on earth was this woman thinking??
So many adult book people read mostly YA but when you ask YA recs for actual young adults people are losing their minds 🙄 ridiculous
EXACTLY
This is why I don't read market popular YA. My brain sees full grown adults parading as teen characters.
Yes. I remember when YA was actually for teens?
I find it SO hard to take things like "but what if this teen is curious about kink?" seriously. Like, yeah, teens are going to be curious about it, and that's why you point them at age-appropriate conversations and resources like Scarleteen! I know we didn't have these resources as teens but that doesn't mean we shouldn't ignore them!
Right?! Like I know I had the BEGINNINGS of kinks when I was younger (early teens) but reading toxic and abusive examples of those kinks would only push these kids towards abusive relationships because of how normalised it is to show abusive and toxic relationships; even more concerning is how these relationships are never met with a healthy outcome and instead "I changed them for the better." or, "I learned to love it".
@@Cadapech YES. I do a lot of adult kink education and a shocking amount of those conversations are mostly "okay so here's how that thing you read as a teen was harmful and here's how to break that down and get what you're looking for in a healthier way". Heck, a lot of times YA romances have been what's made me, a grown adult, able to recognize toxic behaviors in relationships.
Great point!!! Helpful, accurate, peer-reviewed resources for teens lol
My hot take as an asexual woman who took a LONG time to be comfortable reading adult sex scenes:
We can be sex positive while also being age appropriate. The two aren’t mutually exclusive. There is such thing as content being too adult for children. And teens are not adults.
As an aunt myself, this aunt is doing a HUGE service to her niece in finding books that will meet her where she is in her life.
Exactly! I’m also an auntie and I asked my sister if I could gift a book series to my niece and I sent her screenshots of the 2 “questionable” scenes for her approval. Seemed logical to me.
The idea that people take issue with promoting age related exposure to sex, intimacy and relationships it’s truly mind blowing…..
oh dear the kink tweet... I need that person to stay away from all teens and children
Yeah that was disgusting
Let’s be real, half of us were reading/doing stuff we had no business to at 15 so it makes logical sense to me for her to ask for recommendations that are age appropriate. What lost me is why people felt the need to tell her what they were doing at 15…who asked…I swear I can’t stand twitter but I live for these videos!! 😂😂
i thought the same thing lol. everyone was like "here is my childhood reading wrap up and I tUrNeD oUt OkAy" 😂
I had a woman ask me at the library where the "Flowers in the Attic" books were (we were in the teen section). I told her we didn't have those books in the library anymore because reading tastes change and libraries adapt, but if we did have them they would be in the adult section. When she asked why I had to remind her of the incest in the books, and she just looked at me and said "OH yea, I forgot about that. Makes me wonder why I read it back then."
I didn’t realise my mum had bought my niece two Colleen Hoover books for Christmas, she’s barely 12. I confiscated those within about 2 seconds and was like let me get you some actual good books for your age. She had no idea that they were adult books when she asked for them she just saw they were popular 😩
Oh, my Lord 💀 I'm glad you were able to intervene!
Thank you so much honestly. At 25, I cant even begin to unpack CoHo, how can we expect 12-16 year olds to do so?
And the sad fact is that young girls are a big reason why her books have sold so much. They see the books on Tiktok and think they are age appropriate books.
I was at the bookstore the other day and saw multiple of her books on the shelves in the teen section, it's wild! They might be popular among teens (I assume) but that doesn't make them YA books people
Kids are gonna find shit, whether we like it or not. But that is a totally separate thing from an auntie wanting recs for books that are especially for someone her niece's age! It's not like she's preventing her niece from accessing other books, omg. Just providing other perspectives. Neeks is such a great person, and I'm so sorry she's getting this shit rained down on her.
And yeah, as a library worker? Reading comprehension is shit these days, and dear God, the challenges we deal with because of it... whew.
Eta: Omg that dnfing Tik Tok... omg. DYING.
I dont think anyone in that thread (from the tweets we were shown) realised that she's not taking the books away, she's looking for more books to OFFER so that her niece can have the OPTION to read books that are more appropriate for a 15 year old and learn how teens can/should behave in relationships. She's not banned from reading about how Bob from accounting is divorcing his wife to go have dates with Camilla who works at the bank across the street and how he's bought a cow bell and a harness for the night. There's a big difference between giving the option and wanting to make sure the niece has access to age appropriate books, and banning all other books.
People need to learn how to read things twice before getting angry
I love how people took this from “I’m looking for a nice age-appropriate romance for a teen in my life” to “I want to shelter my kid from everything and raise them to be pure and innocent forever”. AS IF THOSE ARENT COMPLETELY DIFFERENT SENTIMENTS.
Honestly, the knickers and words both got twisted hard here…
The minor niece being kinky thing took me out too.
Also, the girl in the end pissed me off too "as authors, we put our sweat, blood and tears into our books, don't show the books you're dnfing" girl don't publish them then. If you can't take any potential negative critique about your work DO NOT PUBLISH IT
Saying A Little Life is YA is the wildest take i've heard in a WHILE.
I'm 17 years old and I just decided that I wanted to start reading more and I wanted to get into the online book community. I told my best friend that I wanted to start reading more so she recommended that I read it ends with us. I had heard of this book before because I watched a review on it. But that review came out a few months before I ended up reading it ends with us. So I didn't really remember what happened in the book. I liked the book, but it was kind of traumatizing while I was reading it because the summary on the back of the book does not allude to any domestic violence being in the book. I've also watch reviews on the book November 9 and that book doesn't reflect a healthy relationship at all( I know it's not necessarily supposed to) But all that being said I don't think that those type of book should be the first romance books that younger teens read. I don't see what's wrong with teens reading age appropriate romances. Teen romances will bring up issues teens are dealing with or teach them things that they may want to learn about in a more appropriate way.
Exactly, teens should be reading books with romances that are more relevant to them, and most importantly model healthy relationships instead of portraying (and sometimes even glorifying) toxic relationships. We're still growing and developing our view of the world, and I don't think reading romances with unhealthy relationships is something teens should really be doing unless they are doing it with the express purpose of dissecting why those relationships are unhealthy and not ideal.
The thing you said about "do not generalize children" is so true because I tutor K-12 and firstly, majority of these kids do not read outside school, and second, those who DO read are absolutely not in this mindset of "I need to read the most inappropriate, most adult and most traumatizing material I can find." I absolutely do remember reading age-inappropriate material (which often was from the internet), and I wish I never did! But my school libraries, and the teens section at my local library? They were filled with age-appropriate books and I never felt the need or want to read adult fiction. Because teens are much more likely to think "why would I want to read about adults?!?!" Just because YOU as an adult want to read the darkest shit ever written by man does not mean you as a child actually did, or that other children then or now did/do. Trying to supply age-appropriate books is not the same thing as policing literature or censorship!
I didn't read it that Neeks wanted to take the Tessa Bailey books away from her niece (which is what some responders seem to be jumping on). She wants to give her additional books that show emotional and practical possibilities for teens. Go, Neeks! These hairtrigger responders need to take a breath and reread tweets before typing. Yeowza.
Teenager and kink do not ever need to be in the same sentence, what is wrong with people?! As a kid who knowingly read adult books behind my parents back, it absolutely does warp your ideas about love and relationships. I’m very cautious with recommending books to my niece who loves to read, she will be 14 and I still give her books like amari and I am number four lbs
Okay, my other quip about this whole THANG is why do people assume it’s always about “I never want this young person to be exposed to XYZ” ?? That’s literally not the goal because that is not realistic. I really just want to balance and maybe even counteract the GARBAGE that a young person in my life might be exposed to with content and media that affirms them, guides them, comforts them, educates, etc??? That’s it. I can’t stop them from the horrors of the world, but I can continually show them the world isn’t always horrible. That’s all.
Exactly this! I want to counteract what is out there by sharing a lot of stuff that will do these good things for them. I also like to be able to talk about the not so great stuff that is out there and what kind of things that content is saying and how it makes us feel. It should be nuanced.
Someone at that Target just forgot to move the YA sign to the actual YA section. The books shown are usually just the popular fiction section.
agreed
Thank You... people lack common sense
Like!!!! There are actually good ya books! Six of crows is great! Like girl come one, a little life?????
Yeah, I doubt alll those clearly adult books got put in the YA section, but there's definitely some spillage that happens. People see books get popular with teens and start acting like that makes it YA, and that sometimes spreads to the people shelving books
3:33 THIS!! I've read and watched so many "adult" things when I was only 12 because my parents didn't care. Did I like it? Yes. Was it too much for me to handle and probably did something to my brain? Also yes, probably. 🤷🏻♂️
There's a difference between censorship, clutching your pearls and wanting children to read age appropriate and GOOD romance/books. I only think of Hannah's video on Colleen Hoover.... like YES I don't want another generation of young girls thinking that's peak romance, that THAT'S how a partner/love is supposed to be?🙃
Yeah... I read ACOTAR when I was 11 and let's just say my sixth grader brain was definitely NOT fit to process all that went on in those books... Did I realize that at the time? Nope, but I shouldn't have been reading them at ELEVEN.
As someone who read Colleen Hoover at 15-16: no, it's absolutely not appropriate for that age. And not even because of sex scenes, but because of how much her books romanticize abuse. This can be DANGEROUS for kids because they may literally think that emotionally abusive relationships are normal or romantic and get into one - and I'm saying this as someone who has PTSD from the emotionally abusive relationship I got into at 16. I did not know that what was happening wasn't okay and part of that was because of the media I was exposed to.
Having, at the very least, alternative media that depicted healthy relationships could have done me a lot of good!
"Hey, I'm looking for book reccs"
"Well you're looking for the wrong ones!"
that out of pocket diagram had me literally rolling on the floor laughing 😭😭😭
Yes let's PLEASE talk about reading comprehension.
I read a lot of YA contemporary as a teen and started reading adult when I was ready for more sex lol. I know a lot of teens are reading adult romance and thriller. A convo I wish Book Twitter would have is that the teens aren't finding what they want in YA which is why they're reading all these adult books. Like alot of the YA books I see people constantly recommend I see adults raving about more than teens. And the teens don't feel like real teens. They feel like 20 somethings and it has nothing to do with intimate scenes and more to do with the discussions they're having in these books. Some of these convos I read in these books my friends and I didn't even have full thoughts about until a few years ago.
3:40 TRUE. like i watched a lot of horror stuff as a kid that was definitely not for me and i can acknowledge that i am NOT fine after that 😭 shit made me paranoid as a kid. i think wanting age-appropriate things for your kids/kids in your family is perfectly fine. idk what's wrong with these people WANTING kids to be exposed to things that could likely scar them. absolutely weird behavior :/
When I say I did a spit take at “that’s how you clear a bitch!” 😂 But the insane outrage at it all is hilarious. There is a huge difference between know what the kids are reading and actively giving it to them.
Edit: also I love a good DNF video. Rage reading a bad book is my self-care
As someone who accidentally read her mom's copy of "the Duke & I" at like 11 this Aunt is my hero.
People always forget to place themselves in the "right frame of mind" whenever they start referring things. It can get pretty cray cray. They also seem to be entitled to "no boundaries."
We can be respectful and still disagree in a lot of things. Each person is unique and different.
“what teens read” and what should be considered YA are two different things. I was watching Dexter and Criminal Minds at like 12-13. The fact that I watched them doesn’t make them “teen” shows. YA means (in extremely simple terms) books that are written FOR and about teenaged characters, not anything that teens happen to find and enjoy. These people seem to think YA means “what tiktok teens like.”
The issue I see with the Target shelf thing, is that books are often misshelved. Especially books that are targeted for a more "female" audience.
Book sellers assume that any book with romance is for teens.
When I hear “young adult” I think 17-25. I’d like to see a “middle adult” category for 30-45 😌 How about we normalize 3 things: 1.) The “Teen” classification of books for ages 12-17 2.) Raising children to make better choices so they know to put a book down if it’s inappropriate. 3.) Understand that publishers, just like most companies, will do what it takes to make a profit. We should stop blaming each other for reading the wrong book, or not recycling, or poor health, or how poorly we’re all educated or whatever and start holding Big Business accountable for what it knowingly chooses to do and not do.
LMAO at the last bit. I think I'll start a TH-cam just for all the books I DNF. Maybe have massive posters made of the book covers to hang behind me. If she "as an author" can't take criticism she shouldn't watch it!
I’m so glad you covered this because I have so many thoughts!!! I’m a middle school librarian and I serve 7th and 8th graders. I have students ask me for adult books. I tell them they are not the right fit for our library because those books are written for adults. Sometimes we have them at our high school and if so, I’ll request them.
I’ve also had a student return a book to my library because it had a curse word in it. Teens are all over the spectrum here. My job is to present them with the tools to assess what they can and can’t handle and to be sure the books available to them are presenting “tough topics” in a developmentally appropriate way. There are middle grade and YA books that talk about abuse, drug and alcohol use, sex, etc. I have students who need those books. But the author INTENDED for their work to be read by young, impressionable readers. That’s the key! It’s the whole thing!
On a personal note, I definitely self-censored my reading, especially in middle school. I was in middle school from 2004-2007 and I loved reading The Clique but wouldn’t tough Gossip Girl because they drank alcohol. No one in my life told me to do that! In fact my parents probably wouldn’t have cared or noticed if I read Gossip Girl. I knew what was right for me! But also I knew those books were for high schoolers because they were PROPERLY CATEGORIZED.
Girl, the pocket thing sent me into orbit LOL.
I work at target, sometimes there’s just not enough time to change signage in the book areas. It’s already a lot of work for one person to take all the books off , put the new barcodes and prices on the shelf and then figure out where each book goes. The “young adult” signage is probably incorrect or was suppose to say “trending now”
That Target shelf...well some of those books are in the wrong section. Other Targets those books are not listed as YA.
She is 15, she can buy or borrow kinky books T.T that's not her aunt place. I would be so creeped out if my aunt got me a book with my kink and I'm 28 !!
5:08 “Imagine what kids are seeing on the internet.” Exactly! That’s the problem!
Screaming at the kink tweet. Crying even. Panicking.
Readers talking about and promoting/recommending books for free but authors want to dictate what they can and can't say. It's so frustrating that these authors don't understand how talking about why you didn't like a book or why you DNF'd it, CAN help someone else pick that book up. Some people might not like a book for x,y,z reasons but another person loves those things so they will pick it up. Talking about why you didn't like a book doesn't necessarily mean that it's a 'bad' book.
People are really obsessed with having kids engage with adult content for some reason, it seems. Reading age appropriate books isn't as rare as they thing, most kids do so with only some straying away to adult books (or content in general. I am a teacher and most kids are exposed to adult content through their peers and not media they actually consume, at least where I live). I was one of those kids that read adult books, that doesn't mean I want every child to be reading books aimed at adults and it 100% doesn't mean I'll put them on the section specifically aimed at them. Specially because I think now there's more variety for kids and teens to read than there was before and what we looked for in those adult books we can now find in YA ones. Also, if teens read adult books so they're ok in the YA section does that mean that because adults (myself included) read YA books they should be labelled as adult now? It makes no sense. They make no sense.
I see this a lot where I work. I remember this one family looking for darker in subject books for their 12 year old. I showed them a few that were age appropriate and she didn’t want them as they were not dark enough. I told them I didn’t feel comfortable recommending books to her since she was young and I didn’t want to be in trouble if it ended up being too dark. They got a little mad but oh well :/. I think it’s also weird for me as an adult recommending dark and smutty books to a literal child, people can get mad all they want but I’m not gonna scar a child for life lmao
I’m pretty liberal, I do also think innocence needs to be protected to an extent. Age restrictions have a real purpose. I read and saw things young that did impact me and it was pretty much always unnecessary lol her tweet was valid and those responses were WEIRD and EXTRA.
These quote retweets killed me 😂 I feel like 80% of these people missed the fact that nowhere did the auntie say she was going to take away her niece’s adult romances or make her stop reading those. All she wanted was to make sure her niece had OPTIONS. I read plenty of messed-up stuff in isolation as a teen, and I am FINE now, but as a teen it absolutely freaked me the hell out (Go Ask Alice particularly scarred me for a while.) I was fine because I had other reading options that were age appropriate, and when/if I wanted to, I could try the adult book again.
Also that tiktok is wild!
I love how people are turning to the books section of Target to guide them, like it’s not disorganized af. 😝 Try a library, perhaps, where it’s their job to appropriately categorize books??? Lol
The way that this spiraled from someone just asking for recommendations is ALARMING. Internet people are sometimes truly scary.
Just because I read Flowers in the Attic in 7th grade (OMG) and binged the rest of her books the following year doesn't mean I should have, and I damn sure didn't get what incest was at that time. I reread it and went OMG CATHY AND CHRIS. After I snuck my mom's romance novels around that time as well and she found out, I had my books reviewed. I started reading Agatha Christie and The Cat Who books. I would have LOVED some young adult books that talked about more than the prom and talked about depression (1990s, for context). I just read I Am Not Your Perfect Mexican Daughter (a YA novel by Erika Sanchez) and CRIED because it was the book I needed at the time. YA has gotten so much better. Rebecca the Rare Books Librarian needs to read some!
As someone who read some pretty disturbing shit as teen, IMO the most important thing is realistic things to be available to her to compare too and adults to talk to about when something disturbed her to say if something is realistic or not, instead of avoiding adults stuff. Not because it would not be healthy (it is), but because it is super hard to control to not see this, and maybe she is even actively seeking this out. Forbidding things just will make them more appealing to a rebellious teen
I feel like this is an age thing. So much of GenX didn't have good YA options because they just didn't exist yet, so yeah, we were reading Flowers in the Attic in middle school and Judith Krantz at 15. Younger generations don't have to do that because the "YA Section" at the library isn't four ancient off-brand Black Beauty knockoffs and a couple of misplaced Dick Francis books.
I'm on the border between Gen X and Y, and there was a decent selection of young adult books but they were actually about teenagers. I read adult books too (not romance, wasn't interested) but I suspect I was around the golden age of YA being mostly what it was intended for, even if the representation hadn't fully caught up yet. Not books about adults and adult themes just with lower reading level.
Some of these people tweeting grew up thinking Edward breaking into Bella's room to watch her sleep was peak romance and it shows. Just because you experience something, because you did something or somehting happened to you at a young age doesn't mean you shouldn't want better for the children in your life. And it's precisely because children are exposed to so many things on the internet that are out of control that you should give them guidance. It's great to have an auntie giving you a baseline of what is a healthy romance so that when you encounter some of these toxic abusive fictionial relationships, you have the discernement to know that it is unhealthy and not something to thrive for.
omggg poor neeks :(((( i love her youtube and love how she handled these ho bags. this reminds me of the tweet where that one woman said she enjoyed sitting outside and having coffee with her husband in the mornings and twitter went ham on her for being "privileged" and whatever else. it was wiiiild. you can't just say you enjoy things anymore cuz everything is subject to public scrutiny. sooo annoying and why i'm more active on tumblr lmaaaaao
Your skin is glowing. And the color of your sweater is stunning on you. Thank you for this video. Happy new year.
I'm 35 and I don't really get why people my age or older are sitting there coming at the woman who wrote the original tweet with "Well, I was reading adult books at 12!" Yeah, most of us who read above our grade level were. By 12, I had read many Stephen King and V.C. Andrews books, more romance novels than I could begin to count, and I had just found Anne Rice as an author ('The Vampire Lestat') instead of just that cool author who did the interview at the beginning of the Interview With the Vampire VHS. At 15, I bought and read Anne's Beauty series (which I would NOT recommend to my 15 year old niece or my daughter). BUT we did not really have YA novels. We had chapter books we had outgrown and then, for the most part, with the exception of a few books (compared with the selection now), we went straight into adult novels. This is especially true for those of us who were living nightmare home lives and had experienced trauma. Now, as I said, I have never read YA books so I don't know what to suggest. But what I do know is just because we were all out there reading wild stuff at 15, that doesn't mean we should throw a fit when an adult wants something else for her 15 year old niece.
And to that author who cannot handle that there will ALWAYS be people who do not like your work (there are people who still think Stephen King is trash.....it's called preference) that's reality so either find a new career path altogether or stay off of social media. These entitled authors with absolutely no sense of the truth that everything is not for everyone and there will always be people who do not like your work are constantly making all of us writers look bad. Stop it. Leave that behind in 2022.
The assignment was a rec request not option. As a parent I try to put what I consider age appropriate books/media in front of my kids. Now if they want to read/watch/listen to something else they can. If I'm not familiar with it I get familiar and sometimes discuss it with them. As for the clip from the author at the end... if I don't want to read a book because someone else didn't enjoy it, the cover is ugly, or its a Friday then that's my right... you do you.
So refreshing to find someone who has a great sense of humor and not afraid to have those conversations. New Subscriber.
I got a hold of a copy of "Interview with a Vampire" when I was 13/14. I remember it being dark and broody (which I was my catnip back then) but most of it went over my head and I didn't remember much of it. Well, I recently re-read Interview and...hell's bells! The abuse! The SA! The weird-o way young children's physical appearance is described! Like, don't get me wrong, the Anne Rice's lore is awesome but...no...no I should not have been reading that at 13.
I agree with every single thing you’ve said. I was shocked by some of the arguments that were made about the YA categorization. As someone who was gifted 50 shades of grey TOO YOUNG for Easter simply because it was on a bestseller list and no research was done, it does have an affect! Lol Alsoooo the fact that people were so BOTHERED by what she wanted to purchase for HER niece, I cannot. Just because teens are reading these types of books doesn’t mean it needs to be made readily available. There’s nothing wrong with encouraging the youth to read books with HEALTHY age appropriate relationships. Thank you for this video ❤
I dont have kids but I was a teen left to her own devices and I would have LOVED to have my reading curated by an older woman, who cared.
The main thing, I got from all this early adult reading is a sexist irrealistic depiction of s3x AND the romanticisation of abuse. Aka I was wholeheartedly unprepared for cis het relationships as a young adult: I was a fool, who knew very little about consent and feminism until my late 20s.
I didn’t know that “spicy adult fantasy” even EXISTED until I was 40!!! 🤣🤣🤣. I can’t imagine my teenage daughters being exposed to that at a young age…. Wh can’t kid’s just be kids a while longer 🤷🏼♀️
It's like they don't want to comprehend her words that she's not trying to make her niece read "clean" books. She just wants to offer her some geared towards her age group that are more realistic.
It feels as if some stocker at Target didn't know where to put Colleen Hoover in, so they put them in the teen section.
Hi!! I’m a 15 year old girl, and I honestly respect the aunt. Now, I have been reading not-PG-books for awhile. This is because my parents have never restricted my books access. Instead, my mom guides my reading by recommendations. I have really bonded with her over certain books like ACOTAR and TOG, both of which are known for their sex scenes. Tbh, I would rather not read those scenes ( I’m in it for the battles lol⚔️) but fantasy comes with that. The point I’m trying to make is that her aunt should probably talk with her niece, and figure out what she really likes about the books. Perhaps the aunt could see if there is something more age appropriate that has like the same tropes in the Tessa Bailey books. Communication is the best route!💜💜💜
I'm-- That last bird app user and that "your minor niece might be kinky" I paused the video and literally went '...huh??' Wild. Such an innocuous request for books and Twitter managed to morph into nonsense.
Also, would have loved even more discussion on the last segment 'cause whew am I tired of people, especially the artists themselves, telling people that they can't react and voice negative reactions to pieces of media. It seems to be in every creative field right now. That author telling someone to not talk about DNF-ing a book 'cause it's mean (how? the author shouldn't even be engaging with audience spaces), authors and directors getting upset at 'Worst Of 2022' lists, musicians directly dm-ing critics over bad reviews (like Drake and Anthony Fantano or Miley Cyrus and one (iirc) magazine reviewer). It's irritating like log off I beg lol.
Yeah at 15 I was reading books I absolutely had no business reading. HOWEVER!!!! just because I did doesn’t mean I should have. And part of it is, not only was I reading it myself I was sharing it with my friends!!! I was the problem.
And I realized it one day in a bookstore when a woman asked me about age appropriate books. Thinking about it. I wouldn’t let my kids read some of the things I read WHEN I read them. I’m anti-censorship but I do think there is a time and a place to introduce certain topics not just sex but even violence, to a child.
In my local shop Outlander is on the young adult station. Clearly no one read them, or just read the back of the book where it says "for adults".
I’m not on Twitter anymore so these videos are absolutely wild to watch 😅
i remember a couple months back i was talking to my boyfriend about normal people and he mentioned that he saw the book on his sister’s shelf, his 12 YEAR OLD sister and i was baffled like………i outright told him i was a little uncomfortable knowing she’s reading such a mature, adult book at that age. because of tiktok, its become quite common and concerning to see impressionable young kids getting into explicit media ( take shows like euphoria for example )
I have been a teen librarian for 18 years and I have thoughts. I started to read V. C. Andrews when I was 11. If an 11 year old asked me for a book, I would give it to them. If an 11 year old asked me for a book recommendation I would never give them this author. There is a difference between a kid discovering a book on TikTok or hidden in their mom’s room and what an adult might recommend or gift them. If I gave Verity to a high school student without them asking for that specific book, they might think I’m creepy considering the content. Present teens with books written with them in mind, let them try things they find otherwise, I find a lot of kids are really good at gauging what they are okay reading about.
I'm seventeen and only stopped browsing the teen/YA shelves like a year and a half ago and that is probably because I have gotten my book recommendations from Tic Tok. I feel that most of the books on that YA target shelf were categorised as YA because they were popular on TT which is seen as a "Teen's App" even though, most of those books were written for adults and brought to popularity on TT by adults. In the book stores i go to, i see the EXACT SAME titles on a table that promotes those books as going viral on "book-toc". I agree that Young Adult should not be a category when it comes to book genres and I also think book stores should not be turning to the Internet on how to promote books. if someone wants to find a title they've seen on TT they should have to find it in the category it was originally meant to be found in.
Your commentary has me rolling and made the whole situation worth it. I still can’t talk about that link tweet because I nearly snapped my molars from gritting through typing a level response. I should have exploded. Lordttttt!
I read a lot of adult books as a teen because YA wasn't really a category. I should NOT have been reading Iris Johansen or Stephen King or Laurell K. Hamilton or any of the other adult books I read in middle/ high school. Now that there is a category for older teens and young adults we should be encouraging them to read those books. Some teens are mature enough to read adult books, some aren't. I'm glad there are new categories for them. Also, recategorizing adult books to YA is not the move for all the reason mentioned.
As for DNFing books and talking about why. Yes. Tell me every book you DNFed, all the reasons and show me the book. Just because an author thinks their book is the most amazing book ever written, doesn't mean that it is and not every book is for every person.
Lol literally none of the books in that target photo are marketed at YA. I’m pretty sure a target employee just put up the wrong sign. The book signs in my target were all messed up last time I went book shopping there. Target signs are not the end-all-be-all of book categories lol.
…Chile sometimes as an adult I don’t want the spice. There’s nothing wrong with wanting age appropriate books for a child. Those ppl were just hurt because they didn’t have an aunt that cared about what they read.
I absolutely need to recommend Philip Pullmans His dark materials series for anyone who're looking for a neat fantasy with romance elements. No sex. It explores the fine line transitioning from child to teenager, a coming of age story if you will. The politic and religious themes heavily lacing the books push the age category up to young adult, so it's a great start for anyone looking for a series that bring up adult topics but for a younger audience.
Thank you for this commentary. I believe people are mixing up public censorship with family or individual censorship. As a fellow aunt, who loves books, I know I would use my influence over my niblings to reinforce individual family values (which would be very different household to household) but also to the individual. I‘m sorry that one aunts quest to provide some guidance was turned into a moral slaying! Agreed! People are not ok.
PS would love to hear a live stream about reading comprehension!
I could be wrong here but as someone who has worked retail, my first thought was that the person responsible for stocking the shelf is not the same person responsible for changing the signage. Sometimes you don’t have the ladder, or there’s a new signage packet that’s received in a separate envelope only the manager has (or hasn’t received yet) when the Plan layout changes. Who just assumes that everything done in a retail store is intentional 100% of the time? Having that much faith in a retail store’s organizational powers blows my mind 🤯
I have two girls. I've always been open minded about what they read but I would have drawn the line at smut. I read Fear of Flying far too young and it completely screwed up my beliefs about what women should expect to put up with to have a partner. If they had wanted to read romance at 15, I would have talked to the youth librarian and found age appropriate (even including sex) books too. Last summer my then 16 year old and I read the Heartstopper series together. We talked about when is the right time to kiss in relationships etc. She is a "young" 16 according to all these commenters on the OP.
ETA: I read The Clan of the Cave Bear in my 20's and it also fucked me up. Why do people think they are ok?
Twitter is like my PMS: snapping at everyone for no reason in particular.
Personally, I’m self aware enough to notice when I’m being an asshole and I don’t feel good about it. The folks on Twitter seem to not suffer from the pangs of conscience, though.
Okay, but some of us who were reading smut at 15 (like 20 years ago) would have LOVED realistic teen romance. I feel like it wasn’t readily available. Or I just didn’t know where to look. I love Neeks for looking out for her niece 🥺
I was hoping you’d talk about this hold on let me go get my coffee
THANK YOU “CLEAN ROMANCE” MAKES ME FUCKIN GAG AS A TERM WHY ARE WE IMPLYING THERES SOMETHING THATS DIRTY AHHHHHHHHHH okay okay I’m cool
Wow, people are not OK out there. "Please recommend some books to me" "Fuck you you monster!"
Also, YA is a marketing category. If a 15 year old is reading A Brief History of Time, doesn't mean it should be shelved under YA 😆 Katee R is spot on. Happy New Year!
That photo in Target perfectly explains the issue here. Retailers, booksellers, and publishers are the main offenders here. Yes, if you're interested in adult material as a young adult there's nothing stopping you from checking out adult books or buying them but these books should NOT be labeled as YA. It all comes down to capitalism, greed and money. These people know there's a stronger market if they claim the books are YA. Mind you, I have no problem with people reading or writing books that contain spicy or taboo content but we really need to put pressure on publishers and booksellers to stop mislabeling literature. It's irresponsible to market that kind of content to audiences that may not be mentally ready for it. If teens seek out adult books because they're ready to explore that content then let them go to books properly labeled as adult.
And yes to the reading comprehension stream because I go through it all the time.
The one that really disturbs me is A Little Life. I know full-grown adults that probably couldn't handle that book let alone a teen.
This is exactly why I don’t engage with social media aside from TH-cam. I couldn’t imagine every innocent tweet being picked apart like that. I simply could not.
The Internet was a mistake
ive only just started watching but can i just say you skin is looking RADIANT
I think the problem is social media really gave everyone the false impression that every opinion should be spoken aloud. If you’re OK with your 15-year-old reading Tessa Bailey then thats good for you, but this is not your child. I’m trying to work on this myself, before I comment on anything, I ask myself what I’m saying is accurate, necessary, and kind.
The comments on the Twitter thread really highlight who is working on not passing on their trauma and who just doesn't care! It's very, very strange to me to flaunt something like that on the internet. Like clearly they did not "turn out fine". Your comparison to how those people talk about being hit as a kid was so spot on.
twitter scares me so much oh my god. feel like so many of these people were just looking to start an argument and twist neeks’ words - like this woman is just trying to give her niece options and y’all really can’t handle it???
choking on my morning coffee and morning tea 😂 we see who would have benefitted from having an auntie like Neeks. on behalf of the world, much thanks for the clarity of the out of pocket diagram
I'm a few days from hitting 25 and read 50 shades when I was 15. I was always really interested in sex and ate that trilogy up. My little sister just turned 16 and I know that's she's been reading steamy romance and other adult books for a couple of years now. I don't necessarily agree with it, but as I did it myself at her age I don't tell her off for it, in fact, I don't think that I would ever ban her from reading books period. I'm also very grateful that she feels comfortable enough to talk to me about this. However what I would, and do do, is warn her and advise her. She knows that these books are not age appropriate and I routinely encourage her to read more YA stuff. If we discuss any adult books she or I read is only because I know that she is already familiar with them. I also make sure that she's aware of the problems in some of the relationships that adult books depict. I would never ever go out of my way to recommend to her adult books? I find that mind-blowing, especially considering the range of YA books that are now out there. Some people are very weird.
Also people need to understand that target demographic is a term that means something? Just because a kid is reading adult romance doesn’t mean the adult romance is aimed at them or appropriate for them. Lots of kids end up with incredibly unhealthy relationships with intimacy because of inappropriate and unrealistic deptictions of it in fanfiction and published fiction!!! Good on that lady for trying to help her niece develop a normal sense of teenage intimacy
As stated, the issue with the niece reading Tessa Bailey (and others) is not that there IS sexual content in books but it’s the frame in which it’s cast in- a frame which differs greatly depending on the intended audience. The relationship, sexual, and power dynamics depicted in adult books may not be appropriate for teens. Obviously teens will read above their age group anyway, but it doesn’t mean we need to promote them reading things that may not provide healthy examples to emulate, at a time in their lives when they are HIGHLY impressionable. I find Tessa Bailey’s work to be weirdly and overly gendered tbh. That’s something I can acknowledge and mentally skip over when I read her books. My young nieces? Not so much. I sure as hell wouldn’t be comfortable with them reading CoHo (esp thinking it’s YA) and thinking those relationships are romantic when they are abusive. The thing is that teens usually don’t yet have the life experience to identify the more “iffy” or messy aspects of character dynamics in adult books and therefore may miss the author’s intent, or not notice the danger in these dynamics, or read them as worthy of emulation in real life.
Wearing my teacher hat, my preference is always to connect kids to age-appropriate representations of things that they might experience (and, you know, creating a love of reading) - which particularly in the YA age category has grown significantly in the large decade to include incredible books with wide-ranging representation. I also know kids are going to read what they want to read and sometimes that means adult titles. If that's where they're going/what they're doing, I would hope they have adults in their life who have either read and/or know the content of the books so they have someone to discuss them with.
People who feel like they need to put in their two cents in where it was not asked for need to back off, however. Why shouldn't someone who cares about a younger relative ask for recommendations of books within a specific categorical framework? It's a valid question. Why are they getting pushback from it? There is seriously something wrong with people who think this is an attack on what they read. Not their business.
I read the Anita Blake series when I was 15 without my mother knowing. The things described in those books...I stopped at book 13 because it was too much for me 🤣 I did not read romance for next 15 years, that's how scarred I was. I now read romance and the smuttiest and weirdest books but I can't say that I consider myself normal 🤣 We should allow children to be children, I was one of those who read adult books when I shouldn't and I don't wish that on any kid.