What motivates our behaviour -our priorities in life, can cause so much pressure and anxiety. Questioning the reason and the way we do things is a key takeaway from the video for me. Thank you.
Hi…i am so pleased for Nicholas. I would like to say though that the interview has me in literal distress, its been building quite a lot lately and this interview just tipped the bucket on me. As the mother of a CFS person its also excruciating to watch. ( i would like to say that my daughter has been taking iron supplements of many ilks and varieties for 14 years and is still deficient!!! So not so easy to fix as for Nicholas. ) She contracted a virus on her 13th birthday and has never fully recovered…now 27!!! Almost 28. Being at such a tender age at onset she has all the associated symptoms of depression, anxiety, mental/social fatigue, no life experience, essentially no friends, no siblings…. But as mentioned in your interview…(as her mum)..i have referred her to this site a few times. But she seems not ready and i can only imagine it is scary for her to consider the possibility of a normal life when everything has passed her by for so long. She struggled through a double degree part time including psychology (passed with honours) and she can already second guess all the recommendations/suggestions that can or would be made to her. She knows them but cant seem to overcome her resistance. I dont know when her tipping point will come…ever???? Can I create one??? My tipping point teeters constantly… there should be mental health coaching for the parents in these cases. Nicholas says his mum did not identify with his experience, maybe so, but i hope he has a lot of gratitude for the support of his parent and that he has some understanding of perhaps what she went through. Congrats to him. Maybe i will see him sometime walking round Brissy!!!!
Sending you special hugs Mom!❤❤❤ Thank you for standing with, supporting, and believing your daughter. I know it's really hard on you.... but at some point in the future... your daughter will really thank you for being there. Just make sure you are doing what you need to do to keep yourself healthy. Even if that means your daughter might have to figure out ways to do things for herself. I started experiencing Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome when I was 9... I am now 60. It's been a long road with no family support... anything I did, explored, or learned I did by myself.... until joining the CFS Health program this past summer. However, previously... I had made my way to the solution of holistic treatment, got rid of victim mindset, and started work on boundaries. I really wanted to make a comment about your daughters inability to absorb iron. My niece had the same problem until they finally suggested and tried an iron infusion. There can be side effects, so your daughter would want to consider them seriously, but thankfully my niece did not have any and the infusion changed her life dramatically. (She was also dealing with Ehlos Danlers syndrome, which turned out to be a misdiagnosis, once the iron deficiency was addressed) She's only had infusion once 3 years ago. She also got her honours bachelor's degree in psychology and english literature. She wants to be a forensic psychologist. Sorry for the lengthy comment. Just wanting you both to know you are not alone. And perhaps someday, your daughter will say... "what was that program mom??" There is hope. If she can start accepting... "THIS is where i am today. THIS is what i can do today.".... not thinking, worrying, or stressing about tomorrow, yesterday, or what she used to be able to do.... will take a load of stress off her. It's her body's reaction to stress that is creating all these problems. Micro changes.... small things, repeated consistently, over a long period of time... will help her get better. There is no way to convince her... she will have to come to it on her own. Be well.❤❤❤
@@mycreativeheart4159 I appreciate your reply You speak wise words. We have considered the infusion... The anxiety assoc with needles is somewhat debilitating even for a standard blood draw.. let alone an IV. Taking her for a covid shot was certainly enlightening for me to see her distress. My worry is that by offering so much support that it is enabling her to stay in this state. Difficult to know how much tough love might be enough to get her to a tipping point to seek help OR potentially drive her deeper into herself.
@@mycreativeheart4159 I wanted to add... It must have been extraordinarily hard for you to navigate your issues. I hope the program give you unqualified success and that you keep moving to a better place. Wishing you well.
@@bosch1237 I completely understand. I also used to have tremendous fear around needles and eventually went on to be a lab technologist... "to be nicer than those who held me down to take blood"... lol! But my niece also had fear of needles and I think she underwent hypnosis to help that fear. She recently told me she no longer has fear around needles. I also understand your worry about how much support is too much or not enough. I can only speak to myself. My parents form of support was criticism and ignoring the "problem". It was too overwhelming for them on a daily basis when they both worked,... and I was a child and children complain a lot. Can you let her choose one task she has to do herself? You will have to let go completely of this task and let her do it her own way and in her own time. But if she's bedridden this might even be too much for her. I was thinking laundry... if you do the laundry and she has to fold and put it away. In the program we start with calming the nervous system down. Something Toby talks about a lot. With CFS the nervous system is overly sensitive to everything. Maybe give her that "job"... her only thing to do. Calm her nervous system. She can do this from her bed/ bedroom. Alternate nostril breathing (my fave), box breathing, diaphragmatic breathing, meditation, guided meditation, yoga nidra (my fave), and body scan. There are a lot of options on YT. Toby also talks about Energy-In exercises. Doing things that bring her joy. All of this is different for everyone. Might be reading, listening to music, drawing, doing crafts, playing with pets, listening to podcasts, watching rom-coms. She needs real rest and restoration before she can move on to movement. And that means putting energy back in your body. BTW... the program has many mom's that are in there doing it for their kids.... some kids eventually participate. There is a wealth of information you can take for yourself.... pass on tid-bits you think might interest your daughter. Eventually she will become interested in what you are talking about. And since you are overwhelmed... if you put into practice in your life.. some of the things suggested ... she might see the positive changes in you and believe that it might just happen for her. Wishing you both healing ... sending you lots of love. ❤❤❤
Please tell your dear daughter from me to be confident that she has the courage within her to meet any challenge or difficulty. We only need to draw on it and it becomes stronger and stronger. Push on little soldier.
Comment below your biggest takeaways from Nicholas recovery story!
What motivates our behaviour -our priorities in life, can cause so much pressure and anxiety. Questioning the reason and the way we do things is a key takeaway from the video for me. Thank you.
Hi…i am so pleased for Nicholas. I would like to say though that the interview has me in literal distress, its been building quite a lot lately and this interview just tipped the bucket on me. As the mother of a CFS person its also excruciating to watch.
( i would like to say that my daughter has been taking iron supplements of many ilks and varieties for 14 years and is still deficient!!! So not so easy to fix as for Nicholas. )
She contracted a virus on her 13th birthday and has never fully recovered…now 27!!! Almost 28. Being at such a tender age at onset she has all the associated symptoms of depression, anxiety, mental/social fatigue, no life experience, essentially no friends, no siblings…. But as mentioned in your interview…(as her mum)..i have referred her to this site a few times. But she seems not ready and i can only imagine it is scary for her to consider the possibility of a normal life when everything has passed her by for so long. She struggled through a double degree part time including psychology (passed with honours) and she can already second guess all the recommendations/suggestions that can or would be made to her. She knows them but cant seem to overcome her resistance.
I dont know when her tipping point will come…ever???? Can I create one???
My tipping point teeters constantly… there should be mental health coaching for the parents in these cases. Nicholas says his mum did not identify with his experience, maybe so, but i hope he has a lot of gratitude for the support of his parent and that he has some understanding of perhaps what she went through.
Congrats to him. Maybe i will see him sometime walking round Brissy!!!!
Sending you special hugs Mom!❤❤❤ Thank you for standing with, supporting, and believing your daughter. I know it's really hard on you.... but at some point in the future... your daughter will really thank you for being there. Just make sure you are doing what you need to do to keep yourself healthy. Even if that means your daughter might have to figure out ways to do things for herself. I started experiencing Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome when I was 9... I am now 60. It's been a long road with no family support... anything I did, explored, or learned I did by myself.... until joining the CFS Health program this past summer. However, previously... I had made my way to the solution of holistic treatment, got rid of victim mindset, and started work on boundaries. I really wanted to make a comment about your daughters inability to absorb iron. My niece had the same problem until they finally suggested and tried an iron infusion. There can be side effects, so your daughter would want to consider them seriously, but thankfully my niece did not have any and the infusion changed her life dramatically. (She was also dealing with Ehlos Danlers syndrome, which turned out to be a misdiagnosis, once the iron deficiency was addressed) She's only had infusion once 3 years ago. She also got her honours bachelor's degree in psychology and english literature. She wants to be a forensic psychologist. Sorry for the lengthy comment. Just wanting you both to know you are not alone. And perhaps someday, your daughter will say... "what was that program mom??" There is hope. If she can start accepting... "THIS is where i am today. THIS is what i can do today.".... not thinking, worrying, or stressing about tomorrow, yesterday, or what she used to be able to do.... will take a load of stress off her. It's her body's reaction to stress that is creating all these problems. Micro changes.... small things, repeated consistently, over a long period of time... will help her get better. There is no way to convince her... she will have to come to it on her own. Be well.❤❤❤
@@mycreativeheart4159 I appreciate your reply
You speak wise words. We have considered the infusion... The anxiety assoc with needles is somewhat debilitating even for a standard blood draw.. let alone an IV. Taking her for a covid shot was certainly enlightening for me to see her distress.
My worry is that by offering so much support that it is enabling her to stay in this state. Difficult to know how much tough love might be enough to get her to a tipping point to seek help OR potentially drive her deeper into herself.
@@mycreativeheart4159 I wanted to add... It must have been extraordinarily hard for you to navigate your issues. I hope the program give you unqualified success and that you keep moving to a better place. Wishing you well.
@@bosch1237 I completely understand. I also used to have tremendous fear around needles and eventually went on to be a lab technologist... "to be nicer than those who held me down to take blood"... lol! But my niece also had fear of needles and I think she underwent hypnosis to help that fear. She recently told me she no longer has fear around needles.
I also understand your worry about how much support is too much or not enough. I can only speak to myself. My parents form of support was criticism and ignoring the "problem". It was too overwhelming for them on a daily basis when they both worked,... and I was a child and children complain a lot. Can you let her choose one task she has to do herself? You will have to let go completely of this task and let her do it her own way and in her own time. But if she's bedridden this might even be too much for her. I was thinking laundry... if you do the laundry and she has to fold and put it away. In the program we start with calming the nervous system down. Something Toby talks about a lot. With CFS the nervous system is overly sensitive to everything. Maybe give her that "job"... her only thing to do. Calm her nervous system. She can do this from her bed/ bedroom. Alternate nostril breathing (my fave), box breathing, diaphragmatic breathing, meditation, guided meditation, yoga nidra (my fave), and body scan. There are a lot of options on YT. Toby also talks about Energy-In exercises. Doing things that bring her joy. All of this is different for everyone. Might be reading, listening to music, drawing, doing crafts, playing with pets, listening to podcasts, watching rom-coms. She needs real rest and restoration before she can move on to movement. And that means putting energy back in your body. BTW... the program has many mom's that are in there doing it for their kids.... some kids eventually participate. There is a wealth of information you can take for yourself.... pass on tid-bits you think might interest your daughter. Eventually she will become interested in what you are talking about. And since you are overwhelmed... if you put into practice in your life.. some of the things suggested ... she might see the positive changes in you and believe that it might just happen for her. Wishing you both healing ... sending you lots of love. ❤❤❤
Please tell your dear daughter from me to be confident that she has the courage within her to meet any challenge or difficulty. We only need to draw on it and it becomes stronger and stronger. Push on little soldier.
Did not plan on spending 50 minutes watching a video tonight but it was time well spent. Thanks and good
luck to both of you guys.
Glad you enjoyed it.
Great interview Nicholas! Learnt some things about a condition I know little about 😊 Congrats on getting better and living life your way ❤❤❤
Glad you enjoyed it!
18 minutes in and first hint of what to do......