Toxic relationships | 911 (Kdramas) Ⓣ 🅒
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 29 มิ.ย. 2024
- PLEASE READ THE PINNED COMMENT TOO!
Ⓣ : To signal the video is about toxic relationships and that ALL the dramas included did a bad job.
🅒 : To signal the video in itself is a critique of ALL the dramas included.
▶ DRAMA NAMES :
• : When the relationship is explicitly toxic.
- 00:00 - 00:08 : TW
- 00:08 - 00:11 : The heirs (2013)
- 00:11 - 00:18 : Extraordinary you (2019)
- 00:18 - 00:22 : Uncontrollably fond (2016)
- 00:22 - 00:25 : Fight for my way (2017)
- 00:25 - 00:27 : My ID is Gangnam beauty (2018)
- 00:27 - 00:30 : Cheese in the trap (2016)
- 00:30 - 00:31 : The legend of the blue sea (2016)
- 00:31 - 00:33 : True beauty (2020)
- 00:33 - 00:38 : She would never know (2021)
- 00:38 - 00:42 : Mr Queen (2020)
- 00:42 - 00:45 : The heirs (2013)
- 00:45 - 00:48 : Love Alarm 2 (2021)
- 00:48 - 00:52 : True Beauty (2020)
- 00:52 - 00:54 : What’s wrong with secretary Kim (2018)
- 00:54 - 00:58 : Fight for my way (2017)
- 00:58 - 1:00 : Boys over flowers (2009)
- 1:00 - 01:04 : True beauty (2020)
- 1:04 - 1:06 : The heirs (2013)
- 1:06 - 1:10 : Another Oh Hae Young (2016)
- 1:10 - 1:13 : Uncontrollably fond (2016)
- 1:13 - 1:15 : The heirs (2013)
- 1:15 - 1:18 : Extraordinary you (2019)
- 1:18 - 1:21 : Uncontrollably fond (2016)
- 1:21 - 1:22 : Was it love? (2020)
- 1:22 - 1:25 : True beauty (2020)
- 1:25 - 1:26 : The heirs (2013)
- 1:26 - 1:28 : Another Oh Hae Young (2016)
- 1:28 - 1:31 : Age of youth (2016) •
- 1:31 - 1:37 : Uncontrollably fond (2016)
- 1:37 - 1:38 : Cheese in the trap (2016)
- 1:38 - 1:43 : Age of youth (2016) •
- 1:43 - 1:44 : Cheese in the trap (2016)
- 1:44 - 1:47 : Tempted (2018)
- 1:47 - 1:51 : Something in the rain (2018)
- 1:51 - 1:54 : Boys over flowers (2009)
- 1:54 - 1:59 : Age of youth (2016) •
- 1:59 - 2:05 : Extraordinary you (2019)
- 2:05 - 2:11 : It’s okay to not be okay (2020) •
- 2:11 - 2:14 : Age of youth (2016) •
- 2:14 - 2:16 : The penthouse (2020)
- 2:16 - 2:20 : Another Oh Hae Young (2016)
- 2:20 - 2:22 : Age of youth (2016) •
- 2:22 - 2:24 : Arthal chronicles (2019)
- 2:24 - 2:28 : It’s okay to not be okay (2020) •
- 2:28 - 2:32 : Boys over flowers (2009)
- 2:32 - 2:33 : Arthal chronicles (2019)
- 2:33 - 2:34 : Extraordinary you (2019)
- 2:34 - 2:38 : The penthouse (2020)
- 2:38 - 2:40 : Uncontrollably fond (2016)
- 2:40 - 2:44 : Love Alarm 2 (2021)
- 2:44 - 2:47 : The heirs (2013)
- 2:47 - 2:51 : Age of youth (2016) •
- 2:51 - 2:53 : Love Alarm 2 (2021)
- 2:53 - 2:54 : Boys over flower (2009)
- 2:54 - 2:56 : The penthouse (2020)
- 2:56 - 2:58 : Extraordinary you (2019)
- 2:58 - 3:00 : Arthal chronicles (2019)
- 3:00 - 3:02 : True Beauty (2020)
- 3:02 - 3:05 : The penthouse (2020)
- 3:05 - 3:08 : True Beauty (2020)
- 3:08 - 3:14 : My ID is Gangnam beauty (2018)
_______________________________________________________
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- or here : www.paypal.com/paypalme/Marie...
𝐈. 𝐈𝐍𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒 :
- 𝐌𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐜 : 911 - Ellise
- 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐦 : 𝑺𝒐𝒏𝒚 𝑽𝒆𝒈𝒂𝒔 𝒑𝒓𝒐 𝟏𝟑
- 𝐂𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 : Candy by @coldties
__________________
𝐈𝐈. 𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐄 :
𝑰𝒇 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒚 𝒒𝒖𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔, 𝒐𝒓 𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒃𝒆 𝒖𝒑𝒅𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒅 :
- 𝐓𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 : @𝒎𝒂𝒂𝒓𝒊𝒆𝑻𝑩
- 𝐈𝐧𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐦 : @𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒕𝒃_
- 𝐖𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐩𝐚𝐝 : @𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒕𝒃_
- 𝐌𝐚𝐢𝐥 : 𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒕𝒃@𝒚𝒂𝒉𝒐𝒐.𝒄𝒐𝒎
#kdramas #toxicrelationships #jealousy - ภาพยนตร์และแอนิเมชัน
The note you are about to read is very long, but please read it all, this is very important. I will start with some technical points:
+ I might delete the comments that I judge too extreme and serious. I don't have the patience to debate with people who didn't even take the time to read this note or are only here to leave bad comments.
1- All the drama names are in the description (as well as the software, music and coloring)
2 - You can turn on the subtitles so you can read the notes I've added throughout the video's progress. They are meant to explain the evolution of the video so that you can understand why each step is important.
3- There are indeed stages in the video, we go from simple jealousy that is shown as cute, to violence on objects (phones etc) to the victimization of the assailant, to the blaming on the victim before getting to the physical violence.
4- The video is short, it could have been a minute longer. But as it is the first time I deal with this subject I wanted to remain synthetic. Maybe if you are interested in the subject I will make a longer one.
5- The video shows the man as the assailant and the woman as the victim. This is a personal choice. I could have added female assailants and male victims since that happens too. But since I judged that in terms of statistics and the content I had in hand, the woman was more often the victim, I made this choice. But in the future, I could totally do a video that deals with the other case.
6- Here is a link to a video that helped me a lot and that is much more explanatory than mine, so don't hesitate to watch it : th-cam.com/video/v3mFWU352L4/w-d-xo.html
7 - What I wanted to show is: jealousy and possessiveness is not cute, it can be an excuse for manipulation and control. The non-respect of consent and violence is never justified. Insults, pressure, humiliation, blame, is violence. And mental violence can lead to physical violence.
8 - On the entire video, there is only a few shows where the toxic relationship is explicit (It’s okay to not be okay and Age of youth for example). For the rest, these are all couples and ships that are portrayed as normal and romantic.
I also recommend you to read the book "Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men" by Lundy Bancroft.
Here are some quotes :
"Abusiveness can be thought of as a recipe that involves a consistent set of ingredients: control, entitlement, disrespect, excuses, and justifications (including victim blaming)-elements that are always present, often accompanied by physical intimidation or violence."
" Has he ever trapped you in a room and not let you out?
Has he ever raised a fist as if he were going to hit you?
Has he ever thrown an object that hit you or nearly did?
Has he ever held you down or grabbed you to restrain you?
Has he ever shoved, poked, or grabbed you?
Has he ever threatened to hurt you?
If the answer to any of these questions is yes, then we can stop wondering whether he’ll ever be violent; he already has been. "
" One of the obstacles to recognizing chronic mistreatment in relationships is that most abusive men simply don’t seem like abusers. They have many good qualities, including times of kindness, warmth, and humor, especially in the early period of a relationship. An abuser’s friends may think the world of him. He may have a successful work life and have no problems with drugs or alcohol. He may simply not fit anyone’s image of a cruel or intimidating person. So when a woman feels her relationship spinning out of control, it is unlikely to occur to her that her partner is an abuser."
" In reality, abuse springs from a man’s early cultural training, his key male role models, and his peer influences. In other words, abuse is a problem of values, not of psychology. "
First, why am I so radical about jealousy? Because I consider that there is nothing good in it. As the quote at the end of the video says, I consider jealousy to be more of a self-esteem issue than a love issue. And I speak as someone who is jealous in love and friendship. It's an emotion that you can' t control and that comes from the fear of being abandoned because you lack self-confidence. But for me, one person's jealousy should never hurt another person. Just because you don't have self-confidence doesn't mean you should blame the other person.
Anger is a mixture of sadness and frustration. We are angry when something hurts us and we deny it or refuse it, so we turn it into anger. The danger of not knowing your emotions and what they mean, as with jealousy and anger, is that you risk hurting others and yourself.
The problem with jealousy is that, because of your lack of self-confidence, you feel threatened and weakened, but you deny this pain and turn it into anger. Except that anger is dangerous, especially when we don't understand it and we blame the other person. The mistake is to blame the other person when you are the problem. This is what can happen in a toxic relationship, this is what can happen any time.
- About not respecting consent, I could make an entire video of a kiss given without the person's consent. Please, I don't want to hear "she didn't say no" "she didn't stop it" "she agreed afterwards". I think these kinds of thoughts are very grave and I could write a 20-page essay on how bad it is, but that's not what this video is about. But I'll surely do that if I make a video with BL because I consider the lack of consent very serious in it.
Then, why do I insist on the progression of the video? Because in a toxic relationship you don't jump from nothing to everything, from a 'normal' relationship to a toxic relationship. The transition is gradual. That's why some of the extracts I've included may seem ridiculous to you, you may think "she's exaggerating, there's nothing toxic about it". But, if a passage is in this video, it means that it contains something dangerous, even if it is not yet directly physical violence. For example, grabbing women by the arm and pulling them without asking their opinion is an act of disrespect of consent and a form of domination. Forcing someone to stop seeing someone out of jealousy is a form of manipulation. I could go on and on like this.
Instead, I'll be honest with you even though I'm a little scared of it: I was in a relationship like this for a year and a half. I was 16 at the time, he was funny, handsome, caring. When he started to forbid me things out of jealousy, I didn't question it. When he broke things and cried and said he was afraid of losing me, I told myself it was because he loved me. That's why this subject is sensitive and important to me, that's why I might be radical if you come and tell me that jealousy is not toxic. That's why the scenes I see in kdramas drive me crazy.
This normalization of domination, jealousy, control, mental violence, blackmail, physical violence is very dangerous. The jealousy crises turned into a joke, the scenes of non-respect of the consent turned into romantic scenes with slow motion and a nice music in the background. It is dangerous, it is not nothing, it is not an exaggeration to say that it is serious. There are people who are likely to find themselves in situations like this and who may never realize it "because it's normal" "because it's not his fault". You don't change someone like that, it's not your job. Someone who can't express their emotions and turns them into anger is a dangerous person.
A man who turns his frustration, fear and suffering into anger and violence is a dangerous person. I beg you, don't make the same mistake I did, trying to convince yourself that his actions are justified, that it's not his fault, that he had a hard life, or that you had it coming, that it's your fault. It's not your fault. I insist, it's not your fault. No matter what he makes you believe, no matter what he puts in your head, it is not your fault.
Overall, I've been talking about the case of a narcissistic pervert, but be aware that the line between narcissistic pervert and toxic masculinity can be very thin. But remember this: jealousy and possessiveness is not cute, it can be an excuse for manipulation and control. The non-respect of consent and violence is never justified. Insults, pressure, humiliation, blame, is violence. And moral violence can lead to physical violence.
Hope you’ve liked the video anyway. Don’t hesitate to share the link! Thanks for reading all this and for watching.
_______________________________________________________
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I hope you’re feeling better now !!💜
@@njaembot8009 It's been 3 years. I still don't want to be in a relationship but I'm kind of okay now. Hope you'll like the video!
@JJ.Kpop_edits thank you ! Don't know if this is the truth but this is how I see it. I'm certainly influenced by my experience but I think it's still important to insist on some things and to point out behaviors that looks normal but can become dangerous. Hope you'll like video, thank you for following the creation of the video, it was really encouraging!
I agree I havent been in a relationship myself but when I heard people talk about jealousy in real life they made it seem like it was cute and that their partner just loved them deeply, but I was always uncomfortable with the idea of my partner being jealous. Because for me that was a negative thing, it felt to extreme, but all my friends in relationship seemed to not mind it, so I just thought it was just me. And when I got into bl and romance dramas people just ignored the very toxic (im my opinion) scene because it was "romantic" or "their way of showing love". But yeah I am exited to watch this thank you for talking about this subject.
Yaass some people should watch this 😤
those dramas are literally normalizing women being treated as an object that men can control, harass and manipulate out of jealousy and anger.
it's kinda funny to me that the scene in "secretary kim" was supposed to be funny lol.
@@rubyjaneluvbot when I did the edit, I had to delete the funny music behind because otherwise it would have sound horrible (anyway just editing things). And when I first heard the audio after editing it, I was so shocked because it just sounds scary. It's not fun no more, it's just creepy. That's really crazy how the music can change the atmosphere of a scene and they do that all the time! A scene of violence and jealousy? Funny music! Nonconsensual kiss? Romantic music! That's so fck up
I didn’t like how they were treating lim jugyuong in true beauty, Han see jun was this way in the drama but lee suho was like that in drama, it’s like switched places.....
And that its hot,like no,not everybody is kinky,and kinky people actually have consent
You do realize that most female writers write their romance books like that too right? Especially on wattpad the cesspool.
You did an amazing job portraying a lot of the toxic and problematic things that are perpetuated in a lot of dramas. I always hated that Geum Jandi ended up with him in Boys Over Flowers because he was so abusive towards her. I'm glad it's something people are talking about and addressing more now.
What makes me crazy is that this series exist in different country and that there is still people to like it. I mean, just saw a few extracts (watched the chinese version a long time ago) and fck wtf nothing is great in there
@@marietb Exactly! He was a terrible person, especially towards someone he claims to love. I don't understand how people think it's romantic. I had to take breaks when I watched it I was getting so mad
Meteor Garden (2018) was way better
@@fay-fay2562 no, same shit. Same scenes, same moral and physical violence, same toxic relationship
@@marietb ok but I still had the feeling that meteor garden was a mild version of boys over flowers
finally people can start to se sunoh in a new light i couldn’t stan his cliché bad boy rich model with parent issues and thinks that he’s the only person in the world
Yes i hated his character🌝 but its fine if you like him but in my opinion he was so annoying
kim tan is the real ass here i hate him to the core
Yessss, I was disgusted by his character, it was disgusting to see him want to rule her, literally. I say about the character people, please don't confuse.
@@kusuosaiki8966 it's not the same thing in the webtoon tho
i think if they would’ve included soojin and her father it would make more sense cause tbh her case was much more toxic than that from suho
I like that you shed some light on this topic. I also felt that some scenes in kdrama tend to be perceived as something cute while I was disgusted of the way the character was behaving. And then seeing other fans gush over the interaction made me doubt myself whether I was too sensitive. One particular thing I’ve always hated was when the male lead says ‘she is mine’. Like no, she isn’t yours, she isn’t anyone’s possession. She’s a person so don’t treat her as an object
Yeah!! I should have add that too!
Yes most of the times they get violent in dramas, but for 'She's mine' I think it depends on the situation and FL and ML; cause sometimes FL savagely reply 'I'm not yours, I'm mine' like in Doctors.
While sometimes it is not good
Yeah, it's quite normalized at this point. You see the "grabbing her arm abruptly" as something people gush about, but in reality, that's legit a form of physical violence.
I'm sorry, but there's no feminism in this world that'll stop me from enjoying being called "mine" and i'm not proud of it😳😳😳
@@junjiverse2775 seriously i have experienced this and in reality this is a form of abuse which is normalized now a days.
Extraordinary you actually did a really good job in portraying how toxic relationships are portrayed in other kdrama and web-toons. The plot literally points out how stupid some kdramas really are. I really enjoyed this drama because Dan Oh just gave a fat metaphorical middle finger to Bae Kyun's atrocities after the stages were over.
but people still prefer baekkyung over haru because he's "misunderstood." ;-;
That's why extraordinary you is my favorite drama cause dan oh didn't give a shit to beak khyung. But sadly some people still ship danbeak,. They say it's their second lead syndrome. Honestly i have second lead syndrome too, but in this drama i shipped dan oh and haru because beak khyung personality was just shitty in the beginning. He can't be that rude to someone just because he had previous trauma.
and you just say"oh poor baekyung" while watching next episodes. really
I know right it’s my ult drama
So true, I'm just really glad kyung learned his lessons at the end of the drama. He changed and treated dan oh mor nicely on the shadow, he even sacrificed the opportunity to be with dan oh because he knows, that won't make her happy.
I'm SO GLAD to see Baekkyung being labeled as the abusive, violent, gaslighting fiancé that he is! It was so maddening to watch 'Extraordinary You' in real time and to see all the comments excusing and even romanticizing his behavior, actually blaming Danoh for "abandoning" him, painting him as the victim when it was made abundantly clear that he was still as abusive even outside the manhwa scenes wherein he's under the author's control. Lee Jaewook is cute and lovable, but his character in this drama was most certainly not!
frss i hated him in the series and i never understood why people were like team Baekhung when Haru treated her like the queen she is. Besides he only wanted her back after she fell in love with someone else
And people felt bad for bae kyung in the drama.. I don't even see why people defend these types of guys who treat girls like trash. Same happened in the heirs. The second lead was literally bullying her and people felt "bad" for him. Why? Because he had a bad past. The guy who treat girl in a good manner are always seen as "boring" or "too nice" however these are the types of men we really need.
Ya and ppl say it was because of the writer but he did it even when the stage was over
@@litlifes3278 totally agreed
@@litlifes3278 exactlyyyyyy the same thing happened with Haru, they all were calling him "cheesy" and stuff because his character was too "bland" and too nice, all those weird a$$ girls were saying that they preferred Baek over him, ofc let's see what they would do if they were in such a relationship like danoh and baek. In reality guys like Haru get left out and misunderstood cause their too nice, but in fact those guys are the best and you can have healthy relationships which will last longer and better, that is how girls can feel true love, feeling safe and such with men who are good and toxic free.
Grabbing a girl from her wrist is violence. It's not manly things. Hurting anyone out of love isn't love. And not jealousy. No privacy, no secrets isn't a trust matter. . It's a privacy that everyone has the right to have and act freely. Forcing kiss isn't a kiss out if love. It's FORCING. Thank you for your content. I loved it!
it's seriously terrifying because you're literally dragged to wherever.. you're basically the animal on a leash and if you try to escape or whatever.. and you get caught.. they can make things worse than already is..
@@ArtemimiOCE Exactly!!! You're be blamed for being victimized. Lol the irony of the situation 💔
that's the point of the drama
We deserve more shows which show consent, swag and non toxicity between lovers
run on!
Not exactly romance drama but Vincenzo has one of most mature relationships, Run On also
@@SicaRun I second Vincenzo!! One of the most healthiest relationship or at least healthier than other couples I’ve seen so far.
@@SicaRun YES VINCENZO omg i ship the main leads together they have such good chemistry
Record of youth
Thank god someone finally made a video about True beauty in toxic relationship. I always saw how toxic Suho was being and please he was so much better in Webtoon. They ruined his character in the show.
Yess
Riiight i never watched the drama and was shocked to see them in this video becuase suho from the drama was so different to the suho in the webtoon
i was shocked as well when i saw the show, I was like "how is he so different from the webtoon?" and preferred Suho from the Webtoon because he's much better than he is in the show.
He becomes just as bad as the drama later in the webtoon too 😶
in my opinion it was his first time dating so he was clingy and got pretty jealous easily(don't like to see her working with other man) but after that he got advice from his friend who was experienced in dating. he changed and stop controlling his girlfriend
playful kiss has toxicity and manipulation written ALL over it
Yes omgg I stopped watching it cuz I didn’t like the way he was treating her and they way she was acting so..dumb
Not 10 years old me watching it and thinking that it was the cutest thing ever
@@nada-io1dd NO SAME
@@jund3967 highfive sista
1:02 - this really hurts hard when your own boyfriend says you to quit your job cause of his jealousy..
Yes
I would leave him tbh
But later he appologised her
@@aswanipp8980 if you're going to repeat the same behaviour again and again then that apology means nothing.
@@litlifes3278 he apologised her and never keep that behavior in the drama
I have to say I'm VEY scared because of how many of these were made in the last 6-5 years... I used to think it was only 2010 and before dramas that had this kind of thing but i was SUPER wrong and I hope producers and screenwriters really start reflecting on the problems they are creating, specially within young audiences, when they normalize and romanticize situations like these
Yeah ! I chose recent dramas on purpose and precised their release date because I didn't want to see some "this is old, they don't do things like that anymore". I really hope this will change because the truth they continue to portray abusive behavior as normal and romantic, they just don't go as far as Boys over Flowers or the heirs did. I think this is very sneaky because as they don't go far in the relationship or the violence, people don't realize it's violence. Really hate that
@@marietb oh yesss i totally feel you... people don't think it's violence because it's not out in the open as much as it used to be. Thanks so much for showing how recent this problem is!
It's scary how the media can portray something so toxic as romantic. These are the kinds of things girls get into and when a guy does it the first few times they don't see it as a warning until something really crazy happens or it just emotionally damages them even if it's not so crazy but this stuff builds up over time. I started to get red signs when I watched some Thai dramas like Hua Jai Sila...I realised how crazy the media can be
the love story in age of youth is so scary. It's an underrated drama, but everyone should watch it. The scar and trauma that her boyfriend leaves and how she overcomes it in the second season...
They really did a good job, from the beginning of their relationship where he is just normal and nice guy, to the moments where he becomes manipulative and violent but blame it on her, till the moment he kidnapped her but played the victim. Even after, we see that he regrets nothing and never apologize, and that the girl first denied her trauma before realizing it and trying to get better
@@marietb yeah, also you did a great job
Where can I see that show ?
SUCH AN EMOTIONALLY LOADED VIDEO I GOT CHILLS FROM EVERY MOVE THE CHARACTERS MADE GREAT WORK THANK YOU FOR SPREADING AWARENESS
I'm really liking how some editors are making video on this topic or have talked/made a serious video on toxic relationships because true this is not cute at all this shouldn't be normalize in real life! Thanks for giving this much time on this topic and the pinned comment is necessarily important each point is absolutely correct 💯👏👏
Do you have any editors in mind? To be honest, while making some researches for the video, I was shook because I couldn't found any video or they were videos that didn't denounce those relationships, on the contrary..
@@marietb yes very few videos are on this topic. The far I remember Cakevelvet once made a video on toxic relationship and also there's a channel named yuan production which made a video discussing about abusive behaviors in kdrama
@@pragy17 Also saw this video but because of the song choice, like "I never meant to hurt you, it's just something I do" I was like ??? I wasn't really satisfied with this video, for me they didn't make it explicit they were denouncing, it's too ambiguous.
And yeah, I saw this video of Yuan production, I put it in the description!
@@marietb yeah i agree it wasn't that serious, that song is so twisted it sounds like they aren't at fault for being toxic
Hated the love alarm second lead and suho in true beauty it was toxic I hate that everyone loved them, normalised it and were thinking of only the main female ending up with them. But they don't consider how toxic it is 😟
I thought the same thing specially in true beauty...and yeah am saying this about character not actor ...this character was toxic from the start ..like even when they weren't in any relationship he followed her to her date ..like u serious and I can't get it like how can she end up with him that dude when he say that leave your job that was end for me ... I would never go back to a person who can not respect my choice and my friends like duh dude I like but that doesn't mean you own me or my life is all about you ..thank God someone noticed.
@@iamanuntamedatinyandarmy6554 I thought the same but actually I hated all the characters. The girl was so jealous too and in a relationship trust is the key: glad that they fixed it at the end. The second lead was sometimes toxic too but at the end he changed.
To be honest it's just a drama. People are focusing more on the emotions. I also like love alarm second lead cause he deserve better. I'm happy that he didn't ended up with her. If she really didn't liked him she shouldn't have run up to him when she was sad, she could easily reject him but rather then doing that she accepted him because she was alone(used him). Sunho was a bit too dumb to stick for her and a little bit way too selfish (he could have encourage his best friend first before stepping in). The main lead also was way too shy and scared to confess (at least be a little brave to say that you like her in front of your best friend rather then saying no) All of the characters are messed up. I didn't like the drama at all. Sunho was straight forward that's the only thing I liked about him. But if I talk about violence...it in every drama to be honest
@@Ireallyneedamanlikeyuta9163 true ...he was straight forward and we know that neither we are perfect nor dramas yeah and this is reality....p.s girl your user name is just spitting facts ...lol loved it
@@iamanuntamedatinyandarmy6554 no one is perfect and everyone has their opinion, some likes sunho, some likes hye yeong, both of them aren't perfect. And violence and abuse become so Normal that it getting used in every drama. Btw...thanks for complimenting my user name tho. I still getting hit by his vocals🤧
God I hated heirs so much because of the male lead. He was so abusive and everyone i’ve talked to about that drama all love it and him? It blows my mind. Thankyou for making this.
Yeah I absolutely despise that drama. Huh the most toxic one
The Heirs is just famous bcz of its handsome oppas nothing more😂
I couldn't bring myself watch it after few episodes
i’m so happy you put sun oh in there. i never understood why people wanted her to end up with him. i mean, yeah he didn’t get the closure he deserved but that gives him no right to invade on her and claim that she likes him all the time. sun oh and jojo’s relationship was very much a fantasy on both of their parts. they were liking ideas they had of each other rather than getting to know each other. hye yeong on the other hand tried to get to know her and treated her as an active participant in the relationship. that’s what makes a healthy relationship.
also side note, i love how extra-ordinary you made fun of the boys of flowers trope. she doesn’t end up with baek kyung because she knows it’s an unhealthy relationship.
Omg same I was honestly happy with the ending of love alarm although a lot of people didn’t like it
THIS 😭 im tired of my friends babling about how much they hate the ending of love alarm 2. i am team hyeyeong and i have to pretend to be a team sunoh bcs once i speak hyeyeong deserves jojo they will get mad as hell. i think most watchers is team sunoh bcs sunoh is cuter
I don't like Sun Oh either with the way he kept on forcing himself to her, but Hye Yeong is also no better, he literally stalked her for years. Imo, no one was the right fit for her.
@@niksjavs Stalking is not the right word I think. He watched her from a certain distance bc she was precious to him, to make sure she's ok and he never bothered or harassed her.
Let's not forget that sunoh did worse in season 2. He followed her ( in his car) when she was taking the bus to her classroom.. creepy
@@mewpaw2054 exactly ppl need to stop using the word “stalker” on hye yeong and need to realize what sunoh did
This is why I liked the portrayal of Dan Oh's character in Extraordinary You a lot. I know that there is this cliche in stories where you fall in love with someone who bullied you and abused you for a long time. This concept was very weird to me. In the drama we can see that the writer (of the webtoon) was pushing this concept, whereas Dan Oh in reality couldn't like Baek Kyung at all as he was always rude to her. Her character showed the absurdity in the idea of falling for someone who has always treated you horribly. I really don't get it why some people got second lead syndrome over his character 🤐 He is not supposed to be a likable character imo. And of course I am only talking about the character, not the actor.
Exactly for the first time I wasn't suffering from second lead syndrome....
Sadly out of all these dramas Age of Youth is the only one that criticise this behavior
There’s a lot of dramas in this video where they criticize the behavior 😭
extraordinary you did too but people still romanticized baekkyung ugh
@@uroosamahmood1792 agreed! I was so confused 😭
@@uroosamahmood1792 People still shipped Baek Gyeong and Dan-oh because the toxic moments weren't actually him, it was all written by the writer. He can't help it if he's controlled, physically and emotionally. You could see when he got his ego that he didn't want to be who his character was.
@@uroosamahmood1792 ugh fr the guy treated her like trash and even killed her but everyone keeps saying “he likes her blah blah “ what??
SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK people tend to overlook this whole amount of toxicity in kdramas and that not fine at all
Im so glad we’re starting to move on from the toxic couples because they aren’t in any way healthy. As much as I love and feel for kyung he really really needs therapy and wasn’t the one for Dan on which is why I think people should stop romanticizing their relationship and the abuse signs in dramas .
The video you recommend actually showed up in my recommended a few weeks ago and it made me realize why certain scenes made me feel uneasy or angry. I hope many people will watch your video as well.
Sometimes you have a to trust your feelings and understand them! When a scene makes you uneasy, there must be a reason behind it!
@@marietb Definitely! I'm glad I can usually trust my gut feeling when meeting people and being in social situations. This way I could avoid toxic friends.
yes like in true beauty there were many scenes such as lim ju kyung gettign bullied
Cheese in the trap creeps me out. everyone was so aggressive and toxic. they acted so creepy. They did amazing acting but the drama was just violent and toxic. fl got a stalker, a creepy bf, a fake friend who wanted to be like her, bf's adopted sister who was after her
As a kdrama fan who always put off the toxicity seen in most scenes and how i convinced myself saying "its just a show" , i am utterly ashamed of myself for disregarding the fact that there are many people here, including myself, who romanticized most couples in this video. I have had people point out its toxicity and how i poorly acknowledged it, but that is no excuse. I am disappointed on how such relationships are portrayed and wish more people will be more aware of such situations like i am now. Thank u for addressing this and opening the eyes of many! I will most definitely share it
i’m so happy this is being brought to light especially in the popular drama true beauty i feel like they didn’t communicate and he was always physically dragging her
especially in boys over flowers i really don’t get it the love story’s are so toxic and there either breaking up 24/7 or being toxic to eachother
"There is more self-love in jeoulousy than love " OMG that made me think so deep 😭 thanks for ur amazing video, topics like this should never be ignored it's a shame that many ppl normalize it ..
Great initiative!! IT'S NOT COOL TO KISS YOUR GIRLFRIEND WITHOUT HER CONSENT. Kdramas have always tend to fantazise 'the bad boy' concept into our heads but in reality he's being a jerk. I hope people get this.
About kissing, yeah you're right.
In prison playbook, Jung kyung ho asked her gf, "Can I kiss you?"
It was so nice of him.
K-drama is full of violence, yet people think it’s cute and attractive🤡
FACT👏
Yup! Like in Lee JongSuk VIP movie people kept saying
"Im scared of how attracted i am to his *charater*" even the he was playing a SERIAL KILLER ROLE.
Fancy the actor not the charater.
dude, it's not only in kdramas lol, there's a lot in other shows too, it's just how the acting industries and shows work, it's to entertain people, but ofc I know irl it's wrong and the media nd internet can play with people's mindsets because of these things being shown and all, but you can't blame kdramas only lol.
@@rosii_jjk2258 are you dumb? The edit was abt kdramas so ofc thats what they are gonna talk abt dude😭
@@itsjiminsnonexistentjams1221 Even if this video is only about k-dramas, we can't ignore the fact that this has been normalized and is shown in all kinds of movies and other dramas to entertain ppl. Of course, It's just there to entertain ppl not to be taken seriously.
i have to add that ju dantea was in one of my nightmares because of his cruelty towards his wife and daughter
It's sad how in most dramas especially the old one's, the victim and abuser end up together just because they are ml and fl.
Keeping it real was the best thing you did in this work. One person cant change the entire industry but if we raise awareness on the issue...verbal, written, fiction...some people can be saved from being harrassed
I just realized that Lee Minho tends to play abusive characters in the older dramas. I never finished The King: Eternal Monarch so I can't say anything about that but Boys Over Flowers and The Heirs he definitely did
I think he always play abusive characters even in Legend of the blue sea
He's super stalkery person in king eternal monarch
not me thinking you meant lee minho from stray kids
Thank you so much for this video. When I first came to know about what exactly toxic relationships are and how certain stuff like non consent kisses are not cute, I was upset and angered that many people did not think of it as something that had to be addressed or something problematic. Thank you once again!
It is a masterpiece. In dramas it may see cute but in real life it has an adverse effect on people. Relationships like this are toxic for a boy or a girl physically and mentally. We should stop these things . Great video. Thanks for portraying the reality which is hidden behind the doors.
this video is so necessary, I've saw people talking about the abusive behavior in kdramas but they never talked about the popular romantic cliches ones (like love alarm, extraordinary you, uncontrollably fond, etc) the fact that you put them in this video makes it even better because this shouldn't be normalized and romantized the way it is THANK YOU FOR THIS!!!
Not included in this video 🚫, but you can really tell how mature the relationship of vicenzo and chayoung, and we should have relationships like them. A healthy one.
I used to feel butterflies in my stomach watching some of these kdrama scenes but as you grow older, we should not mistook toxic behavior as his way showing "love" to you.
Finally someone said it I repeat 1000000 times how hye yeong deserved jojo more than sun oh why the hell people don't understand that simple fact also stop hating hye yeong for god sake he is most respectful male lead I have ever seen 😭❤️
Agreed 😊
I have always shipped jojo with him. Always!
Hyeyeong had almost no personality, they were sooo akward with each other i haven't finished watching the second season but I reallly don't hope they end up together, they hurt sunhoo so bad and then act like he was the evil one
@@minakuma4692 Sunoh was abusive so yeah he is treated as such
@@minakuma4692 Sunho has shown to be toxic since his first time kissing the female lead. I'm glad she didn't end up with him.
hye yeong and Jojo are perfect together ❤️
THANK. YOU.!!!! I love kdramas but honestly they portray problematic relationship tropes as cute and funny and it can be really dangerous for the young girls who watch it.
if anyone wants to watch dramas with healthy relationships of the leads, these are some of my favs:
•Vincenzo
•Crash landing on you
•Run On
•Tkem
•Suspicious partner
Ngl but suspicious partner has some insanely rude wrist grabbing parts but ML wasn't toxic at all but I hate those parts
Extraordinary you too
Hometown cha cha cha
Suspicious partner in not healthy
Angel’s last mission is good
You deserve an award, I just saw a whole lot of toxicity in this video and made me realize about such things that happen everyday and I am not happy about it.
THANK YOU SO MUCH for PROPERLY speaking up about this !! the subtitles and the description with of course the edit itself - toxic behaviour and relationships have been romanticized so much these days, it's sad to see
Me before watching this: team Suho 😍
Me after watching this: hold up... wait what!? 😃
But no for real, thank you for opening my eyes, I now see how toxic that is.
It’s your opinion but put in your mind that nobody is perfect and it was his first relationship and he was doing his best to treat her well and she did the same too and at the end both of them were happy with each other and that was a way better for seojun too because when she dated him she never loved him really and it was bad for both of them seojun too...
@@yuna9878 yeah okay that's true. Suho always did his best for her. I think realistically if she would have said that she didn't find the jealousy okay, suho would listen. And true, it's the first relationship. But it still is worth noting that Suho's jealousy and the way he expresses it, is not okay. But it is not the worst, communication would probably solve it.
@@simabe5067 yeah i think you’re right
@@yuna9878 you should read my pinned comment before unswering this everywhere when I already replied to it. It looks like you absolutely want to defend True Beauty by discrediting my video and this is really frustrating
@@marietb oh sorry if this seemed like that I just took true beauty as an example because I don’t think that their relationship is toxic but now I a did read your comment completely and I understood that you don’t meant the whole relationship in every Drama
You've done amazing job. Subtitles are everything, portraying toxic relationships so well. Tysm for this 🌹
Finally someone understand, whenever I saw these type of scene I feel irritated and most of the creator show it in cute way which is I hated the most, like how can you justify these scenes as cute jealousy when there no privacy, self respect, choice of her/his.
And things get even more disgusting when he/she kiss him/her and ppl looks it in cute and romantic way
thank you for this!! honestly it bothers me so much when these abusive relationships are romanticised in kdramas and people consume thesd without even questioning it. tbh it makes me queasy whenever a male lead kisses or forces himself on the female lead without her consent and viewers don't even bat an eye. again thank you for this!! you did a great job at portraying the toxicity of certain relationships that are glorified in the kdrama industry.
It's so well done! I can only try to imagine how much work this was. 3 minutes and a half is definitely enough to express the progress of little moments to a dangerously toxic relationship.
Can we just appreciate the fact there’s timestamps. You put a lot of effort into these videos thank you! And also thank you for opening my eyes it’s often overlooked and romanticized because it’s “love” thank you again
The way you mentioned each type of abuse in video is so good! Nowadays no drama is purely healthy(few exceptions like run on) especially thai ones sometimes it makes me wonder what kind of love is this isn't love is for comfort and feeling warm
That's fcking sad the only healthy relationship I can think of is Run On like?? In the entire Kdrama world ??
Yeah, I'm going to make a video about toxic relationship in BL too, the list is already long
@@marietb ikrr!! I'm excited for that too bl also have way too much toxicity sometimes I have to skip some parts cause it messes me up
What I suggest you do is
1. Watch through the whole video without the CC
2. Watch it again with the CC on
This is by far the most interesting and fmformative video I’ve seen about this topic/issue. Thank you so much for making this video and bringing this topic/issue to light . Keep it up 👍 (and I would LOVE a longer version of this❤️)
Yes! + The subtitles are very fast so it's better to what it once before watching it again with the subtitles on so you can click pause and read it!
Thank you for your comment!
THANK YOU for making this video. The message behind it is very powerful and so important. I hope everyone watches this and reads what you write before romanticizing relationships like this.
Thank you so much for bringing awareness to the normalization of toxic and abusive behaviors in k-dramas. I didn't notice this until I watched True Beauty and Love Alarm. It's really disturbing that directors and producers portray these behaviors in a romantic light as if they're something desirable in a relationship, but it's even more alarming that I was oblivious to it for so long. We definitely need to have more conversations around this issue!
Am I the only one who was disturbed by ko mun yeong's character in its okay to not be okay. Especially the scene where she barged into kangtae dressing and certain scenes where she came on too strong.I know she was not mentally okay. I think it's just me.
No, it kind of disturbed me too..
lol but that is the point of her character.. she isn't your typical kind and happy good girl :)
I agree but that was the whole point of the show she wasn't ok (it's even in the title lmao) the show didn't make it seem like it was normal and acceptable behavior. While in all the other shows it was shown as normal everyday even cute behavior and made it seem like there was nothing wrong with it.
The was the whole point of the drama. she was not okay.
@@rubyjaneluvbot that's not an excuse both for women and men. I still liked that show because it's psychological. But they shouldn't have romanticize her behaviors. Just imagine a guy doing that scene mentioned
This the best video about kdrama edits I have ever seen. Totally praiseworthy. Hats off . 💗
Not many videos are like this and all I have to say is RESPECT. Finally someone calling out on BS that ppl call ‘Romance’
All I have to say to the writers is: STOP ROMANTICIZE TOXIC RELATIONSHIP!
Btw nice edit ;)
Wow, this was exceedingly well done.
Thank you for problematizing this issue in such a clear, poignant way. The progression from jealousy, to control, to abuse is both powerful and upsetting - you've really captured how terrible and commonplace these scenarios are. The romanticization of domestic abuse is something that's so prevalent in k-dramas, that it has honestly made it difficult for me to enjoy some of them since it feels like I'm endorsing toxic, manipulative behavior.
I really liked the bit at the end of your note where you pointed out that most of these couples are portrayed as perfectly romantic, whether they are just a part of the always-present love triangle or actual endgame (looking at you, True Beauty).
It's so heartening to see someone from the vidding community tackle gender issues like these, and I feel like it's about time that we start having these discussions about the media we consume - be it from SK or anywhere else in the world.
Thank you again, you've gained a life-long subscriber ❤
i love the way so much that you explain every scene in the edit with details, I've never seen this before and not gonna lie it's amazing, you did a wonderful job!
This is one of the best edits I have watched in the past months. Thank you so much for your hard work and that you chose such an important topic. I wish more editors would make videos about those topics, since these toxic behaviours are way to normalised and common in too many person’s lives.
This turned out to be so much better than expected, when I have some more time, I’ll have to comment again because this is such an important topic and you did a great job portraying it!
this video deserve much more views. i really love the message thank you so much for your effort
Thank you so much for making this, this is a very toxic trait that is too romanticized through dramas, books, and many other platforms. A lot of young and naive people fail to understand this and sometimes even seek this in their relationships. I’m very grateful to you for spreading this message.
I love this! Can't wait for the BL version (if you're planning to make one). Good job :)
Hello from the victim of emotional violence from Russia. Thank you for this video. I was sad to see it. Unfortunately, in k - dramas romanticize similar. I am sad that the girls of my country admire such. Girls, you're strong! You're not alone! I'm here! Don't let yourself be treated like this! I believe you!
Dramas which shows healthy relationships are I've only seen two tho lol:
-Run on (there is a scene where he kissed her while he was drunk,later apologized still won't say a very nice act but it still shows a lot of healthy relationship rather than other kdramas)
-Vincenzo.
agree 💯 the couples in both of these dramas are my favs. healthy relationship
I CLICKED WHEN I SAW TANYA AND SAYA FROM ARTHDAL CHRONICLES!!!
WE NEED A SEASON 2 OF THAT SHOW IT'S BEEN 1 AND A HALF YEAR SINCE THEN!!!
She had a healthier relationship with Eun som though
Can we have a moment to appreciate how great the editing is?
This is so well explained i wish some autors and producers would be able to reach/watch this type of edit so they could learn the public preferences these days and change for future dramas and tv series in general cuz netflix is also kinda ✨toxic✨
i was waiting for this for so long!! just 12 hours more!!
Thanks for bringing this out... Some ppl really need an explanation to understand that these behaviours are toxic and shouldn't be promoted in any way.
wow, it's really good the way you portrayed each scene is really very good...
Finally someone has made an edit exposing these toxic couples
I'm glad u made this one. It's a very common theme in K-Dramas where the female lead is grabbed by her wrist and kissed on the lips and I felt it was wrong and non consensual. They do have themes of toxic masculinity that is considered cute and mistaken for love when it actually is control. Thank you for making this one❤️❤️❤️
I'm happy that you create video like this because people know the oppa they're watching is perfect and it's also what they dream of
i appreciate the hardwork of this youtuber and i am really grateful that people are taking out soo much time and giving right information abt feminism. i also try to educate my fellow mates abt feminisim but i just fall sort of words i've been learning englsih for 12 years and yet i am not fluent at it ( nvm leave this its a random thing) but i am really grateful that you clarified alot of things, i have gone through alot of mistreatments, harrassments and also given threaths. we only want equal rights, respect and peace. no one wants to see any toxic masculinity. if we treat you well, then we expect the men to treat us well two, i was just seeing this movie kim ji young its all based on feminism its novel is also available i hope the ones who read this comment watches the movie or read the novel atleast, i am literally crying and having flashbacks of really toxic treatments which i have received from men and by my own father too. but they later try to act like victims or just try to protray themselves as if they were doing it for my own good, my father used to tell me that am ugly, he cant even look at my face, he once threaten to kill me, tells me to always cover up, never lets me hangout with my guy friends. always has to say smt abt my life. and has hit me for absurd reasons as well. ah okay i dont wanna go really deep into it. there is alot more like toooooooooooooooooooooo many things but publicily sharing abt my whole life seems a bit wrg. anyways i am really grateful towards you keep doing the great work ily !
OHMYGAD! Boys Over Flowers was so damn toxic. I hate that she ended up with junpyo.
Even though I like Baek Kyung, and I know that it was ‘his character that made by the author’, but if you put your shoes in Dano’s, it’s obvious that you will love Haru who always treat her well. Many viewers still not satisfied with Haru-Danoh relationship, but if you’re Danoh, why would you choose someone who always looks disgusted every time he saw you and screaming at you, never try to listen what you want to say and think that he is the most miserable one while you’re dying and just want to live🤷🏻♀️
great video!! i’ve been watching kdramas since boys over flowers days (over a decade ago) and pretty much nothing has changed. still many forms of dating violence masked as “cute jealous bf meow meow” and the worst part is that most people see nothing wrong with it. i saw a clip from a show called problem child in the house where they invited a psychiatrist and they called out this culture, so in a way or another, glad that we’re at least moving on even it it’s just a little move.
the most common troupe is cold male lead who got some childhood trauma therefore his toxic behaviour is excused. if you guys are dealing with this in real life do not hesitate to leave. they are manipulating and deceiving you guys using their trauma and that is NOT okay!!
Oh My God!! This was such a perfect video!! It portrays the seriousness flawlessly! There are some moments we think are cute.. But the reality is that it's not cute. Jealousy is never cute. I literally got goosebumps after each scene. This is awesome! This is genius! 👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿🖤🙌🏿🙌🏿🙌🏿
woah i have watched a lot of dramas and i, ngl, always found it weird in the kiss scenes like the girl doesnt respond or she looks as if she was not expecting it and then the guy tries again and editors put in some slow music and blah blah, i always thought the girl was confused of her feelings thts why she never responded but wow, now tht i saw this im just- i never thought it was a kind of violence and the hand pulling thing, same even i used to think they were kind of violent in tht, like the way the woman would get dragged, but i always ignored it. i literally dont know what to say now tht i saw this, just thank you
please make a video of women being toxic in the relationship. It is common in kdramas and no one uses these scenes in toxic videos.
I won't make it right now, this is too much work and effort (it's difficult for me too)
@@marietb if you are making one please add its okay to not be okay and itaewon class in its okay to not be okay the FL is sexually assaulting the male lead and stalking him and in itaewon class while the ML and a other girl was going to kiss she blocked them from kissing(which is invading the privacy)
@@Sapphior It's out ! here : th-cam.com/video/JTAc80nTOm8/w-d-xo.html
omg so it really has been 6 months
@@marietb oh thanks life is going really fast lately😭✊
Thank you!!! This isn't talked about seriously nearly enough, especially for such popular media. Instead the violence is fetishized or romanticized in a really uncomfortable way, with a thin veneer of romantic music and different camera angles to convince viewers to see it as "love" or "passion" instead of emotional, mental, and physical abuse. It can be desensitizing when viewed on the regular or seen as singular instances "everyone has bumps in their relationships". That's not a bump dear, that's a "turn around don't drown" sign, or a road block. It is not one member of a relationships responsibility to "change", "heal", or "save" their partner. Healthy relationships are built on communication, respect, and healthy boundaries at least. This manipulative kind of relationship is unhealthy and unsustainable in the long run.
Thank you for including Uncontrollably Fond. I always felt there were so many abusive acts from Joon Young that were terrifying.
I cant wait to watch !!
Idk how they normalise and make it into sweet scene. My boyfriend never shouts at my face, never grabs me by force, jealous over small stuff, stalks me or kisses until my lips bleed (yes I've seen that kinda kiss scene on kdrama). So when I realize that my boyfriend's character is the opposite of the usual main actor in kdrama, I know I'm dating the right guy.
That's why I feel so uneasy while watching movies or something. Especially kdramas! These LITTLE hints of manipulation,narcissism, and obsession portrayed as LOVE is what triggers me. I am very happy that you pointed it out . My respect for you has increased many folds . Love your work!❤❤
I am so glad someone is actually making a video on this! Good work!
the scary thing is that, what if people gets stuck in toxic relationships in real life and she believes that its 'love' because of these 'romantic' scenes of jealousy that kdramas have portrayed.
Bro the fact that some of these were made just last year 😬
Thank you so much for spreading awareness and shedding light on this.
THIS VIDEO NEEDS MORE ATTENTION !! just subbed and shared it , thank you for making this luv !
Boys over flower was one of those dramas which has no match in kpop history but My God it's so abusive and toxic. I didn't realise it when i was a kid lol God keep us all safe from such things
This is why the romance genre is a bit difficult for me, I am very picky when it comes to this genre. And also the whole thing of shipping second lead characters who get rejected but still act obsessive over the girl is just ridiculous.
Same
I love the fact that sb finally talked about this.many people dont even realize how important these are and how much toxic relationships can destroy you
This is a great video. Thank you! You are really making people aware of this kind of topic and that this is not normal in any relationship. Please make another video. I enjoyed it 👏🏼
YOU DID SO WELL THIS WAS VERY INTENSE XKRKCIKEE
Baekhyung in extraordinary you was so toxic but everyone loved him
I love the way you showed them trying to give ‘excuses’ for their actions
Thank you so much! While I truly do love kdramas I often have problems with those relationship portrayals. It's even more common with older ones. I'm glad those tropes are slowly getting recognized as wrong and hurtful and hopefully in the future less dramas (not just the Korean ones) will have them included in a romantic way. Jealousy just like you said is a self-esteem issue and it's okay to feel but never okay to blame on the other person.