Toxic relationships | Cautious (Kdramas) Ⓣ 🅒
![Marie TB [유토피아]](http://yt3.ggpht.com/u1BQ5n5qs0nckgLOzdHrGcLd-45qmyS9B75DkMNckCJO-aeH9XuqHITIpOoMx1uaGOjrur01=s48-c-k-c0x00ffffff-no-rj)
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 1 ก.ค. 2024
- ⚠️PLEASE, DO NOT REPOST MY VIDEOS⚠️
PLEASE READ THE PINNED COMMENT!
Ⓣ : To signal the video is about toxic relationships and that MOST OF the dramas included did a bad job.
🅒 : To signal the video in itself is a critique of ALL the dramas included.
________________________
DRAMA NAMES:
0:00 : It’s Okay to Not Be Okay
0:06 : Abyss
0:12 : Hey Ghost Let’s Fight
0:15 : Hotel Del Luna
0:21 : Itaewon Class
0:26 : True Beauty
0:33 : Oh My Ghost
0:37 : It’s Okay to Not Be Okay
0:40 : Strong Woman Do Bong Soon
0:42 : Don’t dare to dream
0:46 : Her private life
0:47 : It’s Okay to Not Be Okay
0:50 : True Beauty
0:53 : Her private life
0:56 : True Beauty
0:58 : It’s Okay to Not Be Okay
1:06 : True Beauty
1:09 : Hotel Del Luna
1:12 : Itaewon Class
1:16 : It’s Okay to Not Be Okay
1:19 : Madame Antoine
1:21 : True Beauty
1:22 : The producers
1:25 : True Beauty
1:27 : Lovestruck in the city
1:29 : Let’s fight ghost
1:31 : Age of youth
1:32 : Backstreet rookie
1:36 : Vagabond
1:38 : Madame Antoine
1:39 : Search WWW
1:41 : Hotel del Luna
1:44 : Itaewon class
1:46 : Hotel del Luna
1:48 : Madame Antoine
1:50 : Luck romance
1:52 : True Beauty
1:53 : It’s okay to not be okay
1:54 : Don’t dare to dream
1:56 : Oh my Ghostness
1:59 : Run on
2:02 : Itaewon class
2:06 : Backstreet rookie
2:09 : Itaewon class
2:11 : Backstreet rookie
2:12 : Let’s fight ghost
2:17 : Oh my Ghostness
2:22 : True beauty
2:25 : It’s okay to not be okay
2:30 : Strong Woman Do Bong Soon
2:33 : Backstreet rookie
2:39 : Record of youth
2:43 : Don’t dare to dream
2:46 : Lovestruck in the city
2:48 : Strong Woman Do Bong Soon
2:51 : True Beauty
2:55 : Note (+Backstreet rookie)
__________________________
Please support my work here : ko-fi.com/marietb
- or here : www.paypal.com/pools/c/8r78OH...
________________________
𝐈. 𝐈𝐍𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒 :
- 𝐌𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐜 : Cautious - Max Leone
- 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐦 : 𝑺𝒐𝒏𝒚 𝑽𝒆𝒈𝒂𝒔 𝒑𝒓𝒐 𝟏𝟑
- 𝐂𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 : Garden by @coldties
__________________
𝐈𝐈. 𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐄 :
𝑰𝒇 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒚 𝒒𝒖𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔, 𝒐𝒓 𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒃𝒆 𝒖𝒑𝒅𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒅 :
- 𝐓𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 : @𝒎𝒂𝒂𝒓𝒊𝒆𝑻𝑩
- 𝐈𝐧𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐦 : @𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒕𝒃_
- 𝐖𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐩𝐚𝐝 : @𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒕𝒃_
- 𝐌𝐚𝐢𝐥 : 𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒕𝒃@𝒚𝒂𝒉𝒐𝒐.𝒄𝒐𝒎
________________________________
Copyright Disclaimer Under Section 107 of the Copyright Act 1976, allowance is made for "fair use" for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, and research. Fair use is a use permitted by copyright statute that might otherwise be infringing. Non-profit, educational or personal use tips the balance in favor of fair use.
#toxicrelationships #kdramas #dramas #toxic #jealousy - ภาพยนตร์และแอนิเมชัน
![Park Jae-Eon ✘ Na-Bi ➤ Secrets [Nevertheless Toxic relationship] Ⓣ 🅒](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/a2Vxf8cNhBk/mqdefault.jpg)
PLEASE READ THIS COMMENT!!
- Drama names, music, software in the description.
Cautionary note:
- First of all, I would like to clarify, as with all my videos of this kind, that the title 'toxic relationships' is just a way of encompassing (and more a practical and aesthetic aspect, I don't want to call my videos 'toxic behaviors and warning signs of abuse', that would be too long and unpleasant). So, although it says 'toxic relationships' in the title, I am not claiming that all the relationships included here are completely toxic and horrible. There are some that I think are (Strong woman do bong soon) and some that only have warning signs of abuse without being completely toxic and dangerous (Hotel del Luna).
- That's not the point of this video. As with my previous videos, the goal is to highlight behaviors that are shown as normal, romantic, even badass when they are not. So I ask you to have some distance on your own opinions and preferences. Don't attack me because your favorite drama is here and ask yourself why it is here. If an extract is in the video it's because there's something wrong with the extract in question. For some dramas, I don't attack the whole drama in question, nor the whole relationship.
I. WARNING SIGNS OF ABUSE AND ABUSIVE BEHAVOURS
The red flags and abusive behaviors are the same as in my previous videos (jealousy, control, victimization, blackmail, intimidation, violence) so I simply invite you to see my previous videos on the subject (make sure to read the pinned comment)
- About warning signs of abuse : th-cam.com/video/MxE7nN6B0mg/w-d-xo.html
II. ROMANTICIZATION, GLORIFICATION, NORMALIZATION AND JUSTIFICATION OF TOXIC BEHAVIOURS.
First, I invite you to check out my video on victim blaming and to read the pinned comment there as I explained the process of normalizing and justifying toxic behavior.
- My video about victim blaming : th-cam.com/video/NVhhFdShJrQ/w-d-xo.html
• Those women are shown as badass women :
Now, where this video may be in some ways different than the one about men is in the way these behaviors are portrayed. Where they are normalized and justified for men, they are practically glorified for women. You can find these characters in a lot of edits about so-called 'badass' women (including my videos, to be honest, I can't deny that).
How can these toxic behaviors be called 'badass'? I would say in the same way that control and jealousy are called 'cute': by a representation that is not explicit and that is misleading.
• Normalization and humiliation :
- How can these abusive behaviors be called 'funny'? Again: by the way it is represented. We all agree that there was absolutely nothing funny in my video, yet whether it was the mother in ‘Strong woman do bong soon’ hitting her husband until he was injured, or the girl sexually assaulting the boy in Oh my Ghostness, funny music was played in the background. As if these situations were ridiculous. Why is that? Because it's supposed to be funny to see a man destabilized and weakened (for example ‘Backstreet rookie’).
- For further explanation, I invite you to see the video of yuanProduction on the subject of female sexual offenders in dramas.
“Female Sexual Offenders in Korean Dramas” by yuanProduction : th-cam.com/video/NDuBAHsRh5g/w-d-xo.html
III. PERPETUATION OF TOXIC MASCULANITY THOUGH WOMEN (True Beauty)
These are not good portrayals of strong and independent women, this is perpetuation of toxic masculinity though women : Same behaviours, different genre.
Very well explained here, not sure I can add more : “Female Sexual Offenders in Korean Dramas” by yuanProduction : th-cam.com/video/NDuBAHsRh5g/w-d-xo.html
IV. MENTAL ILLNESS DO NOT CAUSE ABUSE (but can increase it):
- “Mental illness doesn’t cause abusiveness any more than alcohol does.”
- “Certain mental illnesses can increase the chance that an abuser will be dangerous and use physical violence. These include paranoia, severe depression, delusions or hallucinations (psychosis), obsessive compulsive disorder, and antisocial personality disorder known as psychopathy or sociopathy). These psychiatric conditions also make it next to impossible for an abuser to change, at least until the mental illness has been brought under control through therapy and/or medication, which can take years. Even if the mental illness is properly treated, his abusiveness won’t necessarily change.”
- “Antisocial personality disorder is present in only a small percentage of abusers but can be important. Those who suffer from this condition lack a conscience and thus are repeatedly involved in behaviors that are harmful to others. Antisocial personality disorder is very difficult to change through therapy, and there is no effective medication for treating it.”
- “Substance abuse, like mental illness, does not cause partner abuse but can increase the risk of violence.”
More here : sa1s3.patientpop.com/assets/docs/85477.pdf
V. MEN CAN BE VICTIMS TOO
For this video, I used the same framework as for the male version of my videos. I originally wanted to focus more on blackmail and victimization because that's a technique toxic women are more likely to use than intimidation but I decided, given the content I had, to stick with a pretty similar structure.
• Questioning the statement of male victims:
Abusive men also use victimization and blackmail as I have explained in my previous videos. This frequent victimization of abusers makes it difficult to discern true claims from false ones, which, in addition to men who do not file charges out of fear, leads to unclear and uncertain statistics on the exact number of male victims of domestic or sexual violence.
“On the other hand, many abusive men readily adopt a victim identity.” (- en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Domestic_violence_against_men )
• Many men stay silent:
“Men who report domestic violence can face social stigma regarding their perceived lack of machismo and other denigrations of their masculinity. Additionally, intimate partner violence (IPV) against men is generally less recognized by society than IPV against women, which can act as a further block to men reporting their situation.”
“Determining the rate of intimate partner violence (IPV) against males can be difficult, as men may be reluctant to report their abuse or seek help.”
“1 in 4 women and 1 in 9 men experience severe intimate partner physical violence, intimate partner contact sexual violence, and/or intimate partner stalking with impacts such as injury, fearfulness, post-traumatic stress disorder, use of victim services, contraction of sexually transmitted diseases, etc.”
- More statistics here : ncadv.org/STATISTICS
• Men and Boys are also affected by Sexual Violence:
- As of 1998, 2.78 million men in the U.S. had been victims of attempted or completed r*pe.
- About 3% of American men-or 1 in 33-have experienced an attempted or completed r*pe in their lifetime.
- 1 out of every 10 rape victims are male. (www.rainn.org/statistics/victims-sexual-violence )
• Domestic Violence and the LGBTQ Community:
In my videos on toxic relationships, I have always focused on straight relationships but it is important to remember that these behaviors can also be present in same sex relationships:
- Men abusiving men: “26% of gay men and 37.3% of bisexual men have experienced r*pe, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner in their lifetime, in comparison to 29% of heterosexual men.”
- Women abusing women: “43.8% of lesbian women and 61.1% of bisexual women have experienced rape, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner at some point in their lifetime, as opposed to 35% of heterosexual women.” ( ncadv.org/blog/posts/domestic-violence-and-the-lgbtq-community )
VI. FEMINISM AND MISANDRY
I would like to finish by reminding the difference between feminists and misandrists, who are often unconsciously confused in the popular opinion or voluntarily confused by sexists. Feminism is the fight for women's rights, a demand for justice. Misandry is, by etymology, the hatred of men and the demand for superiority of women over men.
In my opinion, there is no need to speak of 'extremist feminists' when referring to misandrists: to continue to confuse the two terms is just to give strength to the wrong side.
In my fight for feminism, I have always said that I also fight for men to be allowed to cry without shame, to wear make-up, to put on skirts and simply to express their emotions without conforming to the criteria that society has forced them to integrate. The stereotypes of this patriarchal society, some men also undergo them. I don't defend women more than men, and I don’t defend men more than women, I just defend what I think is right and what I care about.
And for me, it's not fair that a boy is not taken seriously when he is assaulted. I don't shy away from my fight, I don't diminish it, it is part of it.
My feminism is fighting a patriarchal society, its injustices and its stereotypes, whether they affect men or women.
Thanks for watching and thank you a lot to everyone who helped me with this video!
Wow you did a lot of research 😳!!
Thank you for your hardwork, I'll definitely check up the works you used to learn more 🤓
I cannot wait to watch the video, I'm sure it will be very interesting as always.
Also I loved the part about your vision of femism, ngl I got a bit worried when you mentioned misandry but you proved me wrong 👏🏽
Wow you worked alot on this...
I am always excited for your content because its so well researched and thoughtful
Keep giving us these videos
I used to romantacize about toxic relationships due to these kdramas but because of your channel, I became a little more practical
Love you from Pakistan
I think it's awesome what you're doing. Thank you!! I saw your comment on another video and I wanted to ask you what other things was the drama strong woman do bong soon criticised for. And does goblin,legend of the blue sea,weightlifting fairy kim book joos and trong woman do bong soon have healthy relationships. I want to know what you think. Also what kdramas are your favourite or you reccomend. Sorry, for so many questions, I am just kinda curious about these things. Btw have a nice day/afternoon/night.😊
thank you so much for taking your time to research and talk about this topic
It's better if you read her pinned comment and then watch the video. You will feel the purpose behind the video and literally that will be helpful for the awareness. Once again, you nailed a good representation and a better focal point to point out. Hats off to you to nailed this *taboo* topic more freely, proudly and independently.
What your video made me realise is that a lot of writers seem to believe that gender equality in the romance genre means just reversing every trope without questioning whether or not this is a trope that should be kept.
Letting a female character reproduce the abusive/toxic behaviour of a male character isn't funny and won't make her look stronger.
Well now that you're saying it this way I realize it wasn't clear in my head neither even though I made a pinned comment where it's litteraly written 'perpetuation of toxic masculinarity though women'. It's pretty sad that feminism and women's right are represented that way. I started working on a video about feminism in kdramas and I really hope I can found good content for it
@@marietb Your pinned comment explained it very well though ? 😮 I mean, to me your intent was very clear so don't worry ❤
You're always working so hard don't forget to rest 🗣 Your mental and physical health are important!
This is even more harmful because younger people are viewing strength in females, this way, I feel like because feminism have been represented wrongly and have gone through bad mindsets due to people, it's slowly being subdued. I have a balance view of feminism however it's getting more difficult for me to distinguish which is right, what should be, because bad representation are evident these days, and sometimes you don't even notice it. 😓
The time i started watching k drama was nice and i enjoy but come to realize there no relationship start with a girl or boy being friends its start girl always get burried the girls are very weak them boys get away with all things they does to women and kissing a girl without their consent bcoz the boy like her but got no guts to tell her its really sickening its sad to see its really normalize those kind of behaviour its make me wonder if that what happing in real life there!?
Omg yesss I've always complained abt this, when we complain abt these abusive tropes it's because they're abusive not bc they're being done to women and the writers just reverse the roles and pat themselves on the back for being progressive
I hate that a lot of the times in kdrama's or like tv shows and movies in general to to make a strong, FL they often make her abusive and controlling. Its almost as if they see "strong" as abusive, controlling, overly possessive etc.
It's really disappointing. Out of the dramas I've watched so far, Woo Suji from Because This is My First Life has to be my favorite strong female character(even though she's a support character). Her background story explains why she originally was also hesitant to have a proper relationship with her to-be lover Ma Sung goo, but they way their relationship developed was well written, and imo, their relationship was more interesting and touching than the main couple. Also, Suji standing up for herself and getting back at the person who verbally and physically assaulted, and Sang goo supporting her and being proud of her is so wholesome.
Exactly! !! Being confidence and powerful is different from having bad temper
@@onelijayamaha8746 even the fl from flower of evil
To be honest, they are just promoting what they think it’s right…
But we all know that is wrong 😑 but they think 💭 there’s nothing wrong.
They = some Korean people who think abuse it’s okay.
There are female leads like in happiness she is strong but not abusive thats why i like her .
I felt so so bad for Bong Soon's father for the whole series.
I am glad you are making such a kind of video because when men are shown abusive they are jerks but when women are abusive they are sassy, savage, and strong! I hope Kdramas will portray women strong and badass without them being abusive.
there is actually a kdrama i know with a badass independant women who isnt toxic. its called "flower of evil". the male lead is also not toxic. if you like thriller, romance, and crime you will definately love this kdrama.
@@mahjoobajahan830 Cha Ji won hands down is the best FL lead character ever written, she was so rational and strong yet very gentle with her family. Flower of Evil is one of my Fav dramas of all time. And I love thrillers :)
@@sanshrinandikol9608 ikr i was literally thinking of re watching it! if you have any other thriller reccomendations that you like please let me know because im so bored right now
@@mahjoobajahan830
1.)Missing the other side
2.)Vagabond
3.)K2 if you love action.
4.)Save me
5.)While you were sleeping.
Extraordinary You. The girl was sassy for me since she stood up for herself and tried to change her fate by successfully getting out of a toxic relationship.
Itaewon Class is overall such a good drama, will never understand why they just had to add a loveline in there because what yiseo did had me so uncomfortable
I've been waiting for this one! I think I first realised it in it's Okay To Not Be Okay, but I started noticing how most "badass" and "strong" female leads seemed to have just switched roles with guys in tropes. For example, in it's Okay To Not Be Okay, Ko Moon-young basically harasses him to have sex with her, invades his personal life (going to his workplace, the changing rooms etc.) and we're just meant to be okay with it since she has a tragic backstory. It's like boys over flowers all over again, except this time she was praised and portrayed as this badass female lead who's all about equality and no bullshit. I was actually surprised that people found it "funny" or "fresh" when she breaks into the changing room and then proceeds to touch him without his consent.
Backstreet rookie was also super uncomfortable to watch. Like she kisses him, knowing full well he has a girlfriend and then acts like it's his fault or something saying things like "you're too handsome". Not to mention she doesn't ask for his consent and he doesn't give any non-verbal signs. She then follows him around and makes him very clearly uncomfortable. And I'm supposed to find this cute because she's a super badass female character who "knows what she wants and goes and gets it."
I won't even get started on Itaewon Class because that drama unlocked hatred in me that I didn't even know I had. All I'll say is being possessive, controlling, hypocritical, manipulative and kissing people without consent or while their drunk isn't cute. it doesn't make you a badass, it doesn't make you sexy and it doesn't make you cool. What it does make you however, is a possessive, controlling, hypocritical, manipulative, and abusive person. And no amount of sugar coating will ever change that.
The last thing I'll say is, gender equality is not about bringing the other gender down. It's about learning how to respect our differences and break down old and toxic stereotypes.
Oh my God, thank you so much for putting this into words. I agree with everything you said especially about Itaewon Class. I will never get over the fact that Yi Seo stopped the kiss between Soo Ah and Sae Royi because that was a violation of consent (even when Saeroyi himself leans in with closed eyes) and had the gall to kiss the man when he was passed out and at his most vulnerable. They make stuff like this and expect us to believe that these are people good for each other. Dangerous.
I'm like minded about all the above dramas you mentioned
Thank you for wording this down
Tbh i felt sooo irritated nd annoyed by seo yeji's character in iotnbo to a point where i felt like giving up the whole drama😑
i never even noticed the abuse and harassment even when it was so transparent and thought of it as if they were funny and all. it really shows how we are used to abuse being normalized, romanticized and glorified:'(
Hold up. I legit thought Ko Moon Young was deliberately written as a toxic character. I went through the entire show thinking "Ahh they're doing a really good job showing how rottenly toxic a person can actually be."
You're telling me that she's written to be a "strong" and "badass" female character?? WHAT!?? SERIOUSLY, WHATT!??
Also, Itaewon Class. Why the f**k would you kiss someone who has passed out??
Honestly the fl of Itaewon class (forgot her name), say "Unconsented kiss is an indecent assault", it's just hypocrisy.
She kissed park seori when he had a black-out...
I didn't really like that...
Yeah its in the video👍
People always talk about how possessive and toxic male leads are but there’s MANY female leads that are extremely toxic too and people find it “badass” or “empowering”
when i watched its okay to not be okay i thought ko moon-young behavior was strange but as no one talked about it i let it go and watching this video now i can come to the conclusion that i was right in thinking that she needs therapy. we have to stop romanticizing toxic women just because in other dramas we see women being treated as inferior to men (i dont agree with that either), women like these in the video aren't badass they're toxic. (sorry bad english im using google translate 🇧🇷)
the seo yea ji's character in iontbo ws mentally ill, yet her behaviors were romanticised and "cute and powerful".
OH MY GOD FINALLY ! I was waiting for this from so many weeks!!! Your video really make me think all scenes from a different pov !
YES! Let's Go! A subject that is not talked about enough! Thank you Marie TB for bringing this very true, honest, and REAL conversation to the for front. GF abuse that happens to young boys and men does not get talked about enough. No one should have to be in an relationship where they are being emotionally, mentally, and physically hurt.
Also thank you for having It's Okay to Not Be Okay and Itaewon in your videos! The first shows that I thought of when you said you were going to be doing a video on this subject.
It's better if you read her pinned comment and then watch the video. You will feel the purpose behind the video and literally that will be helpful for the awareness. Once again, you nailed a good representation and a better focal point to point out. Hats off to you to nailed this *taboo* topic more freely, proudly and independently.
Don't make me used to for getting your hearts otherwise I will look forward to that and getting disappointed or obsessed with something is my least favourite. 😏
@@syedejazahmed6900 haha we love a supporting commenter !!!
@@hwauroraa_ Thank you
I can’t say I loved it but that’s because it felt more of a wake up call. I distinctly remember rooting for some of those women not thinking, wait a frickin minute that’s not right. If a man did that I would be pissed. This video really shows that women deserve equality and that also means equal responsibility of our actions to not romanticize inappropriate behavior.
Exactly… like in its ok to not be ok i would laugh at these scenes but now that i think abt it wtf was that🥲
@@saanvimehra5191 its ok to not be ok reminded me of suho and jugyeong’s relationship. super toxic but they managed to cover it up with good looks, funny music/sound effects, trauma (i know that makes me sound like a bad person but a sad life/past isn’t an excuse to treat your partner/crush like that.), and the fact that they met as kids. their childhood interactions made it seem like destiny, but if that’s true, the universe must really hate them. (jugyeong and gang tae)
@lauraabullah I did the same. After all the manhandling and forced kissing, at first glance a woman that is not shy damsel in distress is very exciting to see.
But you are right it feels like they switch the genders up in the same toxic relationship scenarios they like to write, cause that is the recipe for “good” drama.
Do the people who watch these drama’s really see them as love stories and relationship goals?
And the worst thing is that at first I don't even think that a lot of this scenes (especially the earlier ones) are problematic untill I realize that was exactly the problem. This toxic behavior so normalized as funny / harmless behavior from woman to man in drama that we can't see anything wrong with that
Ko Moon Young has always been hella problematic to me. The girl bossification of female abusers gotta stop
Hate how these toxic female leads are labelled as badass and independent while actual strong female leads like the one from Flower of evil are paid no heed to.
Trueee and some more like the fl in hellbound, happiness, etc
@@tasseltail_8485 omg yusss happiness one is actually so badass
Thank you so much for doing this, i'm so sick and tired of the amount of people i've seen that love the girl from Itaewon class. Like she's a horrible person and i lot of people just say "omg i love her, she's so badass" and it's like no, she's a psycho. This is my personal opinion.
Same. I said that the other girl deserves better, but they just like attacking me 😒
@@audybrave622 I couldn't stand the other girl neither 😶
@@marietb i also couldn't stand how both of them were written. both possesive and intent on fighting each other over nothing and actually deminishing their actual characters. it's as if they couldn't deal with powerful female characters and just disregarded them and their goals in favor of romance drama. they both had great arcs but the love plotline ruined them because they were reduced to it. just like geunwon was a fantastic character in terms of storytelling, but that was resolved in a very flat and unsatisfactory way, they had so much potential with yiseo and sooah since they introduced them, and just waisted it. all because of the romance and romantic drama bullshit.
also one of the reasons hyunyi remains best girl, her arc was about discovering herself and being proud and we were proud with her
@@marietb one isn’t loyal and could leave you at any moment, there’s basically only one reason why she’s holding onto you and thats because of ur dead dad. and the other is a sociopath. nothing else, just a sociopath, and she likes you a lot. it’s just..would u really want a sociopath to be in love with you?.. really?? 😬
@@audybrave622 lol no I know she was bit selfish and rude sometimes but she deserved the main lead bcoz she risked her carreer for him and decided to make him successful and in his success she played 50%role bcoz without her he couldn't achieve his goal as she was so intelligent and her management was amazing.... Plus she loved him selfishlesly whereas soo ah also loved him but she worked in his enemy company so she thought of herself first which is also a fair point but bcoz the other girl stood by him in his tough times and helped him, she deserved him
Im so happy you made this! The amount of toxicness those women have in them. Hurting men, doing things to them that they don’t want isn’t being badass or sexy. It’s assault, sexual or not.
To say i like independent women's in drama's but i cant with some (hotel del luna or its okay not to be okay)plot and story are great but FL characters behaving as badass was not really cool tho and also internet really hypes because we saw man hitting the wall (which btw romanticized)if you reverse the genders woman hitting the wall and it called badass.independent badass women's for me are Oh Dong Baek from When The Camelia Blooms and Chae Song-hwa from hospital playlist.
thanks for these doramas ^^
@@preguicadetu doramas🤣
Also yoon seri from Crash landing on You and The female lead in Run on! There’s so many ways women can be badass instead (u can be tough girl badass, girly girl badass, etc.) some kdrama who show badass women just seem to be women who are rude and sometimes downright toxic and abusive which is not a good message to give
@@CM-hf5ji i agree
Your ending text is so beautiful and just so moved me. I’m really grateful to you for talking about women abusing other women to explain the difference between femminism and misandry but especially to give voice to those men who in such cases and videos are so often forgotten. just thank you 😭❤
In it’s okay not to be okay they said that what she was doing was weird but they didn’t wanna outright call it what it was .
Exactly. They surely didn't make it look like it was a good behavior. But at almost every scene funny music was played or badass music. In the end they tried to tell us her behavior were caused by her mental illness. But she still acts controling sometimes, and above all, it's not call as it is : abusive. They tell us it's bad but they don't tell us why? It's more like "it's not her fault, she was ill". Exactly as with abusive men
People love "It's ok not be ok", but I think it's extremely abusive behaviour. I barely could stand until finish the show, she is possessive, too loud, too selfish, too self centred... I wouldn't have this person as a friend...
Thank you, this is exactly why i dropped it's ok not to be ok. She was so toxic
Exactly! She got on my nerves so much, i couldn't stand watching one more minute of it.
@@mirelasemanjaku same I can't watch it no matter how much people praise that drama
Sge was toxic as hell but we knew she had problems and honestly she really improves near the end, ofcourse no one can forget old ways so she wasn't an angel but she was better. The show had its flaws but it never atleast from what i know romanticised her toxic behaviour. It was the audience that did. Sorry for the rant its my comfort drama so 8 got a little carried away
@@faye9465 I thought it was really problematic how they were building up a relationship between ML and FL even though she was clearly toxic. She wasn’t ready for a relationship and should have got therapy, after which they could have shown romance. She’s not badass, she’s really manipulative and constantly disrespected the ML’s boundaries. That’s why I dropped it too
The amount of research you do for your videos is really impressive !
I hate how they try to portray “strong women” like this... like if you’re abusive, you are most definitely not a strong woman, you’re just a piece of crap. I feel like it’s portrayed as if it’s ok when women do it, but it’s not ok regardless. Screaming, yelling, touching without consent are all terrible and we shouldn’t act like it’s not. I would love to see a drama where the woman is very headstrong, but never crosses the lines into controlling and authoritative with their partner, sadly I don’t think I’ve seen one yet.
nobody should be treated any violent nor controlling way, that's not love but obsession. anyways, thank u for making this video!
I really respect you for making these videos, not only is the message behind them super important, but this also takes an insane amount of time, effort and perhaps personal mental exhaustion on your side. After that, you might even have to deal with a lot of fans who don't get the point or defend toxic behaviors because of their immaturity or ignorance. This takes courage and determination to finish! Kudos!
missed your videos so much, i LOVE and have been binge watching :D its sad that these scenes are seen as badass and girlboss when it's blatantly toxic
the fact that these writers probably want to show these characters as being independent and breaking out from the typical woman characterisation that have been criticized so much but they fail to show it all the time
One thing i've come to realise when viewing such dramas is to remind myself who i am laughing with and who i am laughing at and that that provides me a cut clear idea on what being displayed is toxic or not
so glad to know that i was not the only one who hated the FL character in it's okay to not be okay.
Few of the dramas here were way too extreme and it's shocking that they even had higher ratings. It was hard for me to even watch 2-3 eps for couple of these, before I decided to drop them.
i'm glad it's okay not to be okay is in here. that series made me so uncomfortable.
YESS FINALLY! Ive been waiting so long and it exceeded my expectations as usual. Women are really cool in dramas, but it's REALLY disrespectful irl. Looking down on people weaker than you, or anyone in general, bossing around in the house, forcing kisses, stealing and threatening people to be theirs is very wrong. This act can be illegal, it's really admirable that you made a video on this. I mean I know there are many people who are sociopaths and they exist, but I don't prefer portraying them as "badass" or using them to prove women are cool or whatsoever. Women should be enough respectful to help anyone in need and not let anyone push her down, that's an actual powerful women, swearing, abusing and using verbal violence to prove you're strong or badass is so pathetic. Also, to everyone in the comments please don't defend your favourites and criticise the editor, there is no excuse that you can use to get away with abuse and sexual assault. As she said this is not funny, badass, cute or sexy. It's not acceptable and supported
They don’t even look cool, they are abusive and horrible people
It is a masterpiece as expected. I m grateful to u for showcasing these things which are hidden behind the doors which are highly toxic in real Life.
Glad to know I am not the only one who found its okay not to be okay toxic
I’m happy that you uploaded this!!
Thank you for posting these videos it brings awareness that media often fails to show. I have watched some of these drama but I didn't realize all these behaviors until I watched your videos
i really wanna say sth
i was kind of like a delulu kdrama fan before seeing your channel and it has really helped me open my eyes
thanks for making these videos 💜
I'm waiting for this since your first toxic male leads video, i'm so excited👀👀👀
Wow found a useful one which shows exactly toxic things in relations . It's not the gender which is toxic its the individuals character .
i absolutely love your videos + the pinned comment. because yes some of these dramas are actually really good but have done a bad job in some areas, and that doesn't make them bad dramas but as an audience we need to stay critical. It's quite outrageous how incredibly toxic and abusive some of these relationships are tho and im so glad youre highlighting it for people.
Finally the video is uploaded. I have been waiting for it for weeks .Thanks for your hard work and good message .wish you happiness, health,success and wealth .take care
I love your edits
Because they aren't just edits.You make people aware of things they don't care .Showing a different POV
Man you put so much effect into making people realise this shit with so much research down in the description and with edit clips on what is right and wrong scene example scenes
I especially loved It's OK to Not be OK because the toxicity in that relationship was so compelling and always kept me on my toes, but it was pretty frustrating to see how everyone just brushed it off as Ko MoonYoung being savage/badass.
Thank you so much for your videos!!! Lately I've been obsessed with them TWT
I really love your work... Which always makes us to reflect on ourselves...
Also that grandma-grandpa couple from tale of the nine tailed are also toxic.I didn't like grandma's behaviour to her poor husband.I really like grandpa tho.He was a mood lol.
hi maria tb, your videos have given me and many others a new perspective or view to kdramas, and i sincerely want to thank you for that. i also apologize, i keep commenting on ur vids haha, just because i cant believe i didnt notice such behavior out of all of the dramas that i've watched (for both the fl and ml)
edit: i also want to commend you on the sheer amount of effort that is noticed immediately when i view your videos. youve earned a new fan and subscriber, once again ur awesome at thank you!!
the mother and father's relationship in swdbs really really bothered me when i watched it. the mom beat the shit out of the dad, took his hard earned money, made him do all of the work, insulted and humiliated him, didnt love him at all. an abusive and toxic relationship where the woman is the abuser.
Yeah its good to show this, but i have one thing to say. In "It's okay to not be okay" theres indeed a toxic relationship, but I do feel the need to point out that the drama takes the effort to show thats not okay, unlike most shows. There is an obvious reason which leads KMY to be like that, and as she heals throughout the drama she also starts to get less toxic. I don't know about all the other dramas, but it does make a difference if its talked about
please read the pinned comment.
I love this comment!!! totally understand why it’s in this video because it’s really not okay behavior which I definitely understood and the show did too, but the beginning of their story as put in the video is VERY toxic, and for some reason even though the show made it a point to illuminate/clearly show how toxic her behavior was ppl still treated her as if she was “badass” and cool in the early stages of the story. That’s why this video was made☺️
@@zr7077 it’s the first drama I watched (great drama btw) and it actually does take the time to show this behaviours NOT ok and thankfully she grows in to much less toxic person
@@naveerarizwan5329 EXACTLY! Her gradual growth and the emphasis on mental health is the best part of the show!
@@HobanProduction I disagree. I’ve watched a plethora of horrifying dramas to(for me)see the difference. It’s a show that confronts her behavior by showing in the series that no one thinks it’s normal or ok. She develops different ways to communicate through the show. Like with his brother and the ppl around him. By the end even tho her cool demeanor as a person hasn’t changed, she has. She’s not meant to be a stable human being when they meet. Neither of them are but that’s kinda the point. It’s a story that highlights how ppl like her can find love and keep it without keeping poisonous traits. Growth is gradual and not always said aloud which is something I enjoyed abt this show.
Thank you for this, I enjoy all your videos!!! You're one of my favorite channeIs. I love how you always try to spread awareness about topics people are scared of talking.
Looking forward for the next one!!
"Yasss Queen!!!! Sure, you've beaten your innocent boyfriend who is having a platonic relationship with another girl to near death and threatened to kill him the next time you see him with that girl again, but you slay, gurllll!!!!"
I feel so sorry for anyone who thinks this funny or "empowering" in any way.
Thank you for taking time to make a video on this topic
You have explained this very well!! 🤝
I am so glad I have found your channel
I wish this video gets more views coz this is smth that needs to be said !!!
Backstreet Rookie was so uncomfortable to watch for me that I had to give up after 2 episodes
These characters are in no way "badass" or "empowering". Their straight up abusive. Especially Ko Moon-young.
Im really agree with your video
Finally someone mention that such moments aren't romantic
Kiss some one surprisingly while your not sure about their feeling
Or showing abusive woman as powerful woman is really wrong
I am so glad that I came across this video
Great job👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽❤️
Thank you for this video Because I've seen people pointing out male abusers alot which is nice but I've never seen people pointing out toxic female leads :)
ah yes, that's the kinda content that i'm on TH-cam for 🥰
To be honest I didn't like the kdrama it's okay not to be okay. Yes, it tackles mental health but honestly her personality is just so toxic. Everyone says that these women are "bad b*tches" and "bad a**" but I don't think they are cool, I just find their personalities quite disturbing and off putting. I don't think we should label having a "toxic personality" as something cool. (I took this kdrama as an example). This EDIT is amazing by the way. This is my opinion, but feel free to let me know what you all think!
I appreciate this video because I find it upsetting when abuse towards men in tv is less recognized and acknowledged. I mean imagine if the genders were reversed in all of the situations shown in this video, then all of this would be immediately recognized as abuse or not okay. Not to mention that women are portrayed as sassy and badass for doing these things. I would also like to mention that even though this wasn’t in the video, there are many situations in tv where a woman slaps a man and she has no right to do so, even if he was being verbally disrespectful, and she is seen as a badass for it and doesn’t face any repercussions for it. Could a man ever do that without being called an abuser? No. It is not okay for anyone of any gender to hit someone else unless that person is physically disrespecting them or touching them without permission. So these women slapping men are assaulting them and should face the same consequences as a man would. Female characters should also be able to be strong badass characters on their own without having to be portrayed this way and show abusive behavior towards men, or anyone.
I remember I stopped watching backstreet rookie
Oh yess!!! Thank you for highlighting these problematic (in some cases downright abusive) behaviour which is so easily normalised in K Media. Your male toxic behaviour video really helped me explain to one of my friends how she was getting emotionally abused by her toxic boyfriend. She's out of that relationship now and I really appreciate all the effort you put in these projects. Keep going
The girl from itaewon class was literally the worst
Yeah and women can be manipulative too hurting mentally emotionally, if you are in such relationship I advice please break up or take break.
Cause some people exist who would breakup, come back, repeat the same mistake, blame, and still be in the relation with the mf.
They are people who don't realize they are in abusive toxic relationship.
I cant waittt :D
I never understood why those characters are called "strong". To me, a strong woman is a woman that kept being good and hopeful and didn't give up just because life was throwing rocks at her. A strong woman, is a single mother who raise her son/daughter and do anything possible for their happiness. A strong woman is a woman who acknowledge that she has limits and can't do everything alone. My examples of strong women are Da-Jung from "18 Again" and Dan-i from "Romance is a bonus book". Just to name two women.
this type of topic is really needed to be high-litghted
thank you for this one! I always hate that ppl think gender equality is the abuse originating from one gender to another, equality is supposed to end that toxicity not pass it on. also where did the consent go, loved when you showed that
i started to watch its okay to not be okay and i couldnt finish it because of how toxic it was, every 5 minutes i wanted to slap the female main lead, i cant understan how can people like her character, i just want to save the male mainlead and his brother from her crazy ass.
in itaewon class i too think the girl mainlead was very toxic, never liked her character and i wanted him to be the other women, that not only was way more mature it also wasnt toxic.
k dramas have a serious problem in romantizing toxic relationships and portray toxic women has strong women, who are very different things
This reminds me of how Cheon Seo Jin of Penthouse was abusive towards Ha Yoon Cheol and maybe Joo Dan Tae too and how Ha Eun Byeol also basically tried to force herself on Seokhoon despite him pushing her away a loooot of times.
Non riesco ad aspettare 😅😩💞
I hate that people see this toxic things and say it's female empowerment, I don't know how people can be so dumb. Just switch The roles. If it was a men doing this to a women it would be problematic, but If it's a women doing this to a men it's okay? This Kind of channels are so necessary
Wow! Salute to you!
this video is really good in fact not only men abuse women but women abuse men too. thanks for uploading ❤. I'd like to ask you a question. Do you use the Sony Vegas app but do you have the paid version or do you have the free version?
The no. of clips being it's okay to not be okay makes me happy that ppl are looking at how she basically always forced the ml just because of her obsession over him. I don't think it is acceptable
I too wonder sometimes why they are showing some irksome abusive scenes as cute scene in kdrama 🤦♂️🤦♂️
Conozco dos casos en que el hombre es maltratado. La víctima.
Hay mas casos de los que pensamos pero por vergüenza no lo denuncian. Por miedo al que diran ya que físicamente es mas fuerte.
El maltrato no se debe permitir sea hombre o mujer.
Intimidation isn't romantic
Abuse isn't a joke
Thank you for your video🤝
Best one liners 👍❤️
thank's God i really didn't like Go moonyoung's character she was so toxic
0:06 i honestly don’t think the relationship between the two leads in abyss should be considered toxic but i do see the wrongful way they made it seem in the show
1:54 pls the way she just touched it- 💀
It’s because she found a lump.
Sus🗿
Tbh The couple in true beauty was so cute to me, the big sis made my heart flutter everytime she acted like that but maybe im just Into that dominant type....
this reminds me of boys over flowers, I don't get why many people are so obsessed over the main couple's relationship but imo, the male lead's behaviour always disgust me when I watch him. he's literally so abusive
I would redo most of these fls in a way that they can stay still be able to hold their own, but not be abusive. Same with men. I think a lot of people like the idea of a controlling man or woman, which, is concerning given the trauma such environments can give to the victim. Slight signs of jealousy (SWDBS) is okay, as I think most people fear not being enough for their S.O. And being left. However, in dramas such as cheese in the trap, verbally voicing such concerns to get the victim to stay is emotional abuse as well as gaslighting as well as guilt tripping.
To those who may say I’m defending: I am not defending in the slightest. Please read to the end of my comment. It is okay for a woman to be able to hold her own, however the way these women are portrayed (abusive) by drama writers isn’t okay at all. Also, pls don’t hate the actor/actress. They are doing what they were instructed. I’m willing to guarantee they were uncomfy with it too.
Saying things like “I like overprotective” “I love possessive” etc. only encourages this stigma. All of the romanticism of the issues being called out here are beloved by the public. Hence why the writers put more and more out. Honestly, I would love a healthy drama where it’s a soft first love (like oh my venus) or two dominant people helping each other learn to fix their toxic traits.
While mental illnesses could cause a higher chance of abuse (such as antisocial disorder, narcissm, etc) it doesn’t mean it is excused. Abuse is abuse. Toxicity is toxicity. Violence is violence.
There is a fine line between strong and abusive, jealousy and controlling, savage and rude. Remember that.
Have a lovely day/night/evening
thank god... I'm not the only one who found these relationships uncomfortable. I thought that may be i am the the awkward one , who doesn't get the hype of these couples.
this tarnishes the common perception that it is always males that are toxic.. :)
Thing I understand is things we accept as cute in dramas are not much healthy think what if that happens to you will you still think that is cute?
I won't 😊
You should add Kang Yeo Joo in here too in my opinion she's the most abusize
can someone please tell me where can i find the song in th bg
i think in true beauty, lim hee kyung kissed him after she mentioned she is going to kiss ( first kiss)and the other two kisses were mutual. I think so..... I dont know iam right or not
I agree with the description completely. HOWEVER... I was a bit shocked seeing search www here lol. He kissed her back right after and they were the best (non toxic) couple in the series.
But i agree with the message. Especially its okay not to be okay (i dunno if its the right name) and itaewon class...i hated the female leads so much but everyone arounf was hailing them as badass. You know who is badass? The female lead of "romance is a bonus book" and the three female leads of search www. It physically pains me to see HOW MUCH people misinterpret feminism and ACTUALLY GOOD WRITTEN FEMALE CHARACTERS.
I need to rant cause I feel like I've found my people. This is going to be long. So, like two years back i saw It's okay to not be okay and now that I've learnt about red flags, I need to rant about how problematic some things were cause don't get me wrong the cinematography was beautiful and the characters were really interesting.
Ko Moon young and Moon Kang tae needs fucking therapy. The writes, the makers, the characters, everyone and their mothers knew that Ko Moon young was problematic and obviously this was the result of a abusive and fucked up childhood, she never grew out of the things she learnt and saw. Everyone around her knew she was toxic and problematic and they just proceeded to ignore it, my memory is good ok, I still remember that scene where she said that she'll kidnap Kang tae to his face, like wtf?? Idk if she was joking or not, if the roles were reversed, u bet the girl would slap the guy(atleast i would) and that scene where her dad tried to choke her to death and no one, not even one person had even a lil empathy to check her or ask her if she was alright, like excuse me?? Isn't this a mental hospital or some shit??? And Moon Kang Tae, this man, istg, the amount of burden this man had was just yeah. Like his mom, no matter how nice they tried to make her out to be, was bad, like woman, why r u burdening a child with taking care of another person, idk how the situation was, a child SHOULD NOT BE TAKING CARE OF SOMEONE ELSE!! NOT THEIR JOB!! Not only this man had to take care of his older brother but also had to deal with his mom's death and survive the world, I can't imagine how hard that must be. It seems like both of them had their life taken away from them and they never got the help they needed. They should not be in a relationship, they should be getting freakin therapy and then maybe years later think about it but ofc the makers didn't do that.🙂
Wow this was longer than i expected but I needed to get it off my chest 🤣💃
This video is a perfect illustration of the FEMINISM people love nowadays just reversing roles they rebel against the toxicity of some men and proceed to do the same to have the power
Not feminism. Please read the pinned comment
@@marietb i understand what you mean but sometimes women use feminism to behave this way for the kisses forced upon for example
@@yiheejackson5603 please read the pinned comment
I 💯 agree!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
yass
I just don't know what to say.