Thank you so much to this channel for taking the time to record and share this wonderful video. It is very helpful and I can learn a lot from it. May God bless and keep you.
I really appreciate the witness and ministry of Jackie, Bobby, and all the other wonderful Catholics like them (e.g. Matt Frad, Jason and Chrystalina Evert, etc)! These people are all really great and I'm grateful for the good they do in the service of the Church. However, that being said, I can't help but feel a little uncomfortable with Jackie's discussion about "settling" in this video. Certainly, no one should "settle" in a relationship, when by settling we mean allowing a relationship to compromise our faith, or when we mean allowing someone to misuse us or offend the dignity of God's image within us. It is certainly a duty of the vocation to matrimony to carefully choose a spouse who will help sanctify you and your children, and to prudently avoid those suitors who may not be able to share this mission of assistance in sanctification with you. I agree with all of these things that Jackie referred to, but what I have difficulty with is her description of the man she first had a relationship with after the five years she spent away from courtship. By her own admission, there was nothing wrong with this man. From her description of the situation, the man was a loyal Catholic, an intentional and honest suitor, and a respectful gentleman who probably would have made a fine husband and father. The idea that she resolved to reject him, merely because of "feelings" (the "pit" in her stomach), and that she even advises other young women to follow her example in this matter, really bothers and disturbs me as a Catholic. It seems incredibly unwise, to me, to place so much weight on one's emotions that you would follow them into rejecting a good man, without even engaging in a period of honest discussion with him, or involving him in a serious intellectual examination of your intuition, to search for actual reasons behind the emotions. Isn't this just as foolish and frankly wrong as allowing our emotions to lead us into relationships for the sake of getting something for ourselves rather than self-sacrificing love? As a Catholic, I find this kind of mindset incredibly dangerous, as it seems to smack of errant Protestant spiritual traditions which emphasize the role of emotions to the point of obscuring and rejecting the role of the intellect (which is truly an offense against the image of God within us)! Emotions are an integral and beautiful part of being human, but they are NOT the proper source of faithful discernment, anymore than our blood pressure or glucose level could be! There's nothing inherently wrong with asking for signs, but before we interpret anything as a sign from God (ESPECIALLY things as fluid and mercurial as emotions), we must test it by the use of reason, undoubtedly given to us by God, and by assessing the supposed "sign" through the eyes of the Church's teaching, tradition, and wisdom. I am certainly not saying that God can't use emotions as signs, nor am I arguing that a lady should ever consider herself obliged to accept a man, no matter who he is, even if the only objections that can be laid against him are her "feelings." However, what I am saying is that I am unsure of the wisdom of Jackie's promotion of this kind of emotion-based decision making, especially to the presumably young ladies who may be listening to her presentations. In our society, young people are constantly told by the culture that our emotions are absolutely the most important consideration. This has led to all manner of abuses, such as the acceptance of attempts at homosexual marriage, the embrace of gender dysmorphic disorders as normal and not pathological, the justification of abortion and artificial contraception, and the persecution of anyone who might dare to offend our feelings by harboring views that differ from our own. What young people really need to hear from those who would speak in service of the Church is that emotions need to be assessed by the light of reason and truth. I don't know a single married couple who could say that they've never had emotional difficulties in their marriage at some point in time; this is LIFE, it isn't always easy! The beauty of the Christian understanding of marriage is that it forces people to overcome and master their emotions, rather than allow themselves to be ruled by them. For young women, especially, I fear that the kind of advice on "settling" given in this presentation will lead some to follow fleeting and temporary emotions away from relationships with honest and worthy young men, and toward relationships with men whose possibly greater charm/confidence/attractiveness/etc. evokes enough good feelings to tempt the woman into ignoring the fact that he is objectively less deserving of her. As Christians, we should teach young people that negative feelings will inevitably come up in our lives, regardless of whether we are single or married to the love of our life. I think we should be teaching young people how to manage and assess their feelings logically, rather than blindly allow them to dictate our decisions. There may well be just reasons for negative emotions about a suitor or courtship, but when that man is honest and upright, and has demonstrated commitment to a young lady, I think the young lady owes him the courtesy of careful and LOGICAL assessment of her emotions, and I think he may even deserve to be consulted in these matters. If he responds in an ungentlemanly manner, then the woman has reasonable justification for her feelings. If assessment produces some other logical reasons for the woman's feelings, then they should be addressed. If, however, the woman can find no reason for her feelings, I won't say that she can't or shouldn't end the relationship, but shouldn't she at least give the man a chance and allow some time to pass to test whether these feelings are merely temporary? I really don't mean to be harsh or overly critical, but this notion really did leave me feeling uneasy. If anyone can explain where I've perhaps misunderstood, or can just provide their view on the matter, I'd be grateful. God bless!
ni200v hey :) I understand your point of view but we all are different and God manifests himself in different ways in each one of us. Of course emotions are deceitful and we can't directly trust in them. But when something comes from God it brings you full peace and joy! Even in trials and doubts. You know that is Gods will because of that. We can't say we all are going to feel exactly in that way when something is not God's will. But everything is in our conscience. By my personal experience I can tell you that I also have felt that feeling in my stomach and in my conscience I knew I was doing wrong, but it was hard for me to do what God was asking me to do. After I could took the right decision and God helped with thing that happened, I could see everything clearer, as I said at the beginning we all are different and by your own experiences this could have confused you, but I think Jackie's points on this is that we have to trust God when we know something is wrong, when he's clearly saying that's not the right way, for being more clearly when there's no peace is not Gods will. I hope this can help you to understand or resolve some of your questions. God bless ;)
Just as her former boyfriend was called to the priesthood God could have revealed to Jackie that he wasn't the one. I think when it comes to marriage you got to be all in. If you have serious reservations you may never know exactly why but you shouldn't marry someone if you can't get over the strong doubts.
Thank you so much to this channel for taking the time to record and share this wonderful video. It is very helpful and I can learn a lot from it. May God bless and keep you.
1:20:00 for me it's the litany of humility. That has healed all the use I went through and thought I'd never recover from.
VIVA Christo Rey ❤️
Thank you so much for this video!!!!
I really appreciate the witness and ministry of Jackie, Bobby, and all the other wonderful Catholics like them (e.g. Matt Frad, Jason and Chrystalina Evert, etc)! These people are all really great and I'm grateful for the good they do in the service of the Church. However, that being said, I can't help but feel a little uncomfortable with Jackie's discussion about "settling" in this video. Certainly, no one should "settle" in a relationship, when by settling we mean allowing a relationship to compromise our faith, or when we mean allowing someone to misuse us or offend the dignity of God's image within us. It is certainly a duty of the vocation to matrimony to carefully choose a spouse who will help sanctify you and your children, and to prudently avoid those suitors who may not be able to share this mission of assistance in sanctification with you. I agree with all of these things that Jackie referred to, but what I have difficulty with is her description of the man she first had a relationship with after the five years she spent away from courtship.
By her own admission, there was nothing wrong with this man. From her description of the situation, the man was a loyal Catholic, an intentional and honest suitor, and a respectful gentleman who probably would have made a fine husband and father. The idea that she resolved to reject him, merely because of "feelings" (the "pit" in her stomach), and that she even advises other young women to follow her example in this matter, really bothers and disturbs me as a Catholic. It seems incredibly unwise, to me, to place so much weight on one's emotions that you would follow them into rejecting a good man, without even engaging in a period of honest discussion with him, or involving him in a serious intellectual examination of your intuition, to search for actual reasons behind the emotions. Isn't this just as foolish and frankly wrong as allowing our emotions to lead us into relationships for the sake of getting something for ourselves rather than self-sacrificing love? As a Catholic, I find this kind of mindset incredibly dangerous, as it seems to smack of errant Protestant spiritual traditions which emphasize the role of emotions to the point of obscuring and rejecting the role of the intellect (which is truly an offense against the image of God within us)! Emotions are an integral and beautiful part of being human, but they are NOT the proper source of faithful discernment, anymore than our blood pressure or glucose level could be! There's nothing inherently wrong with asking for signs, but before we interpret anything as a sign from God (ESPECIALLY things as fluid and mercurial as emotions), we must test it by the use of reason, undoubtedly given to us by God, and by assessing the supposed "sign" through the eyes of the Church's teaching, tradition, and wisdom.
I am certainly not saying that God can't use emotions as signs, nor am I arguing that a lady should ever consider herself obliged to accept a man, no matter who he is, even if the only objections that can be laid against him are her "feelings." However, what I am saying is that I am unsure of the wisdom of Jackie's promotion of this kind of emotion-based decision making, especially to the presumably young ladies who may be listening to her presentations. In our society, young people are constantly told by the culture that our emotions are absolutely the most important consideration. This has led to all manner of abuses, such as the acceptance of attempts at homosexual marriage, the embrace of gender dysmorphic disorders as normal and not pathological, the justification of abortion and artificial contraception, and the persecution of anyone who might dare to offend our feelings by harboring views that differ from our own. What young people really need to hear from those who would speak in service of the Church is that emotions need to be assessed by the light of reason and truth. I don't know a single married couple who could say that they've never had emotional difficulties in their marriage at some point in time; this is LIFE, it isn't always easy! The beauty of the Christian understanding of marriage is that it forces people to overcome and master their emotions, rather than allow themselves to be ruled by them. For young women, especially, I fear that the kind of advice on "settling" given in this presentation will lead some to follow fleeting and temporary emotions away from relationships with honest and worthy young men, and toward relationships with men whose possibly greater charm/confidence/attractiveness/etc. evokes enough good feelings to tempt the woman into ignoring the fact that he is objectively less deserving of her. As Christians, we should teach young people that negative feelings will inevitably come up in our lives, regardless of whether we are single or married to the love of our life. I think we should be teaching young people how to manage and assess their feelings logically, rather than blindly allow them to dictate our decisions. There may well be just reasons for negative emotions about a suitor or courtship, but when that man is honest and upright, and has demonstrated commitment to a young lady, I think the young lady owes him the courtesy of careful and LOGICAL assessment of her emotions, and I think he may even deserve to be consulted in these matters. If he responds in an ungentlemanly manner, then the woman has reasonable justification for her feelings. If assessment produces some other logical reasons for the woman's feelings, then they should be addressed. If, however, the woman can find no reason for her feelings, I won't say that she can't or shouldn't end the relationship, but shouldn't she at least give the man a chance and allow some time to pass to test whether these feelings are merely temporary?
I really don't mean to be harsh or overly critical, but this notion really did leave me feeling uneasy. If anyone can explain where I've perhaps misunderstood, or can just provide their view on the matter, I'd be grateful. God bless!
ni200v hey :) I understand your point of view but we all are different and God manifests himself in different ways in each one of us. Of course emotions are deceitful and we can't directly trust in them. But when something comes from God it brings you full peace and joy! Even in trials and doubts. You know that is Gods will because of that. We can't say we all are going to feel exactly in that way when something is not God's will. But everything is in our conscience. By my personal experience I can tell you that I also have felt that feeling in my stomach and in my conscience I knew I was doing wrong, but it was hard for me to do what God was asking me to do. After I could took the right decision and God helped with thing that happened, I could see everything clearer, as I said at the beginning we all are different and by your own experiences this could have confused you, but I think Jackie's points on this is that we have to trust God when we know something is wrong, when he's clearly saying that's not the right way, for being more clearly when there's no peace is not Gods will. I hope this can help you to understand or resolve some of your questions. God bless ;)
Just as her former boyfriend was called to the priesthood God could have revealed to Jackie that he wasn't the one. I think when it comes to marriage you got to be all in. If you have serious reservations you may never know exactly why but you shouldn't marry someone if you can't get over the strong doubts.
Very informative, thanks so much!
Madeleine share this with others in your pages. GOD Bless 😊😇🙏👍✌
Lol I tried to settle but it never stuck. I wonder why but at the same time I'm glad
15:17
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