How to Get Unstuck: Self-Efficacy, Learned Helplessness, and Creating a Growth Mindset

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 16 มิ.ย. 2024
  • If you’re tired of feeling stuck, this one’s for you. ‪@RickHanson‬ and I explore how we can overcome learned helplessness and change our lives by developing self-efficacy: the ability to influence our environments and control our motivation and behavior. Key topics include why we get stuck, the science of learned helplessness, focusing on effort over talent, creating a growth mindset, and balancing acceptance and agency. You’ll learn how to improve self-efficacy, embrace who you are, and become truly confident in your ability to grow.
    Key Topics:
    0:00 Introduction
    1:50 Why are we prone to feeling stuck?
    4:40 Fear of failure and negativity bias
    8:30 Learned helplessness and the dog study
    18:05 Difficulties identifying patterns we’re close to
    20:15 The biological function of shame
    22:10 The connection between our emotions, our body, and our sense of self-efficacy
    23:25 Chronic illness and pain, and recognizing what is and is not in your control
    25:30 What is a growth mindset?
    28:10 Nature and nurture, talent and effort, and our metrics of self-worth
    34:40 Rick’s practical tips for improving self-efficacy (complete with soundtrack)
    40:15 Creating a coherent self-narrative
    42:30 An example from Forrest of claiming agency
    46:25 Advice for someone in their late 20s when feeling stuck
    52:00 Building on and reinforcing our successes
    57:05 Determination
    1:00:10 Recap
    Subscribe to Being Well on:
    Apple Podcasts: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast...
    Spotify: open.spotify.com/show/5d87ZU1...
    Who Am I: I'm Forrest, the co-author of Resilient (amzn.to/3iXLerD) and host of the Being Well Podcast (apple.co/38ufGG0). I'm making videos focused on simplifying psychology, mental health, and personal growth.
    You can follow me here:
    🎤 apple.co/38ufGG0
    🌍 www.forresthanson.com
    📸 / f.hanson

ความคิดเห็น • 156

  • @tytyler7099
    @tytyler7099 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +18

    It’s wild to see such a healthy relationship/conversation between a parent and a child. I feel like this is rare I don’t know anybody who can talk like this with their elders

  • @OR65693
    @OR65693 ปีที่แล้ว +96

    It's not being denied the wooden spoon. It's being ignored by the person on whom your very physical and psychological existence depends. Misattunement in early childhood is devastating.

    • @drebugsita
      @drebugsita 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +12

      Very important point of clarification. At least in being denied the spoon your desire was acknowledged. It is much more painful to be ignored altogether. That is the ultimate implicit message of worthlessness

    • @OR65693
      @OR65693 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +14

      @@drebugsita Disagree. To have a desire acknowledged and then ignored is no less painful than not having it acknowledged at all. This is as true for adults as it is for children.

    • @coppersense999
      @coppersense999 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Thankfully it's not a race to the bottom.
      But the way up, it sounds like, or maybe back to wholeness and health, is the same.
      Or perhaps not.
      Are there more effective approaches for adult children of trauma, depending on overt abuse versus passive, or unseen, neglect?

    • @inhale.exhale.2527
      @inhale.exhale.2527 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      misattunement = neglect

    • @christiangreen2324
      @christiangreen2324 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Yeah like my mom not changing my diaper as a baby and leaving me on the floor four hours on end while she did drugs on the couch, then getting older and having to drag her to bed so she can wake up early and go to work

  • @MekonenMeteor123
    @MekonenMeteor123 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +14

    Ignoring physiology in this discussion-movement, breath, and mobility-is like sitting in a boat and rowing on the beach, while thinking you're actually on the water. It's akin to attempting to count all the leaves on a tree: incredibly difficult, exhausting, and nearly impossible. Managing emotions by sheer cognitive force in the way they are discussing is what the west has yet understand IS the problem.
    God be with us 🙏🏼

    • @ellesab4873
      @ellesab4873 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      And the nervous system too. I’ve been a functional freeze shut down response for months now due to multiple trauma events and my mind desperately wants to move on but my body can’t. Movement and somatic work is a huge element that needs addressing. Not just my thoughts.

    • @LM-uq9nv
      @LM-uq9nv 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Certainly, people are meant to move. Still there is little to no quality research which supports " breathwork" and other too readily adopted airy-faery, woo woo approaches to mental and physical health. Exercise? Certainly.

    • @ellesab4873
      @ellesab4873 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@LM-uq9nv of course there is evidence that breathwork helps with managing mental health issues. Just go to google scholar and find out

    • @hummingbird4934
      @hummingbird4934 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Agreed somatic work is key. Emotion and feeling only exist in the body not the head! It’s amazing how people don’t understand this

  • @MarcLemaycaveman
    @MarcLemaycaveman 9 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    To listen and watch for an hour makes me feel I've gained a hundred thousand hours.Thank you to you and your dad.

  • @markonahleyes2701
    @markonahleyes2701 ปีที่แล้ว +31

    I enjoy your parent-son relationship.. always delightful to see it

  • @bodymindsoul60
    @bodymindsoul60 ปีที่แล้ว +33

    Insightful discussion.
    Sad, society pushes productivity, doing, always lacking, never enough instead of BEING which naturally promotes growth, agency and peace of mind.
    Perhaps these pushed values in society reflect the plethora of depression, anxiety and suicide.

    • @inhale.exhale.2527
      @inhale.exhale.2527 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      absolutely, and that is a dysfunctional side effect of the drive to survive that has only very recently become less of an imperative. religions and politics harnessed this as 'ideology' which no longer best serves our needs.

  • @SteveBurksMusic
    @SteveBurksMusic ปีที่แล้ว +55

    This is an exceptionally valuable episode.

    • @ForrestHanson
      @ForrestHanson  ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Thanks Steve! Always appreciate it.

  • @karenbird1279
    @karenbird1279 ปีที่แล้ว +32

    You can remind a person that is stuck to GET ON THEIR OWN SIDE.

  • @Ghfdddcghh
    @Ghfdddcghh 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +11

    “The only thing that guarantees failure in the future is not trying”

    • @Firuzeh
      @Firuzeh 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      It is actually not always true at all.
      Life is full of luck and happenstance! Happiness share the root of happenstance!
      Sometimes you let go and things happen!

  • @hristuppiteitinu
    @hristuppiteitinu 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

    As someone going through a life transition, I highly appreciate this episode 🙏

  • @destroyraiden
    @destroyraiden ปีที่แล้ว +13

    This is cute you get to interview your dad and he wasn't in full dad mode!
    I appreciate your dad actually mentioned disability and actually being stuck is a real thing cuz 99% of people just assume the disabled are making up excuses and can just move with their pittance SS checks which are fully consumed by the end of the month for the vast majority of them they're lucky to have $1.00 in their check come the last day of it.

    • @wendi2819
      @wendi2819 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Indeed!❤

  • @djszal
    @djszal หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Forrest, your dad is so cool. The laugh you guys share at 38:15 is wholesome.

  • @featherheart2505
    @featherheart2505 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    I would like to hear more about how a person can recover from brain injury. Actual physical damage as apposed to emotional damage. I have acquired both physical and emotional damage over the years.
    I love both of your caring mannerisms. There is something very genuinely real about how you both deal with hard topics. Thank you.

    • @sarahcinnamonthriving9563
      @sarahcinnamonthriving9563 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I would, too.
      I appreciated the way they handled this topic though, as I was a bit scared I would feel ashamed by the suggestions as many such videos on this topic fail to recognize all the very difficult complex inner issues that cause people to struggle with stuckness (trauma, brain injuries, menopause, ADHD and other neuro-divergencies, isolation, or even just having too much responsibilities, stress with insufficient sleep, pain mgt, &/or nutrition and other optimal life balances).
      I also think it is criminal for governments to allow financial companies to withhold services and claims from vulnerable people who are "stuck" in inability to keep up with time-limited large confusing amounts of paperwork hoop-jumping that then act as barriers that worsens the challenges of those in need of better supports tied to those institutions.

  • @Jazminksie
    @Jazminksie ปีที่แล้ว +34

    This is awesome, and I needed this so much right now. Perfect timing! Thank you for your hard work, time, public service, expertise, experience, and education. You are appreciated!

  • @pickletown
    @pickletown ปีที่แล้ว +16

    You dear sweet humans are blowing my mind with your timing. Haven't listened yet but already feeling more at ease seeing this resource. Thank you so much for all you do! It's an absolute joy to tune in every week, my father-son friends.

    • @wendi2819
      @wendi2819 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Me too. I always think how lucky Forrest is to have such a patient dad. They work so well together.

  • @karenschreiber9845
    @karenschreiber9845 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    I loved this episode! One of my favorites. I loved that you and Rick were together in your studio. Your chemistry is so wonderful and I think it was even better with you both in the same room.

  • @kslaw9636
    @kslaw9636 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    Wow! I DEEPLY relate to this discussion. I'm currently where you were at in beginning the process of cultivating self-compassion and the desire to take care of yourself and with this I feel hopeful that I'm quickly approaching a breakthrough in my life. Visualizing myself as a loving parent to my child self has helped immensely. I strongly feel that people simply don't deem themselves worthy of being taken care of and this is what leads to self-neglect (physically, financially, emotionally, etc.). Narrowly focusing on taking the smallest possible step forward and reflecting upon how that feels and how you want to feel is a must for those trying to cultivate a sense of agency. Thank you so much for this. I tear up at the kind of relationship you have with your father

  • @peacefulisland67
    @peacefulisland67 7 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Over the years I've come to realize that just like needing dark to appreciate light, we need people of different tendencies to know what we want and don't want.
    When I see clearly my chosen orientation, I have no choice but to follow gladly.
    When my movement it muddied, choices are everywhere. What lifts me up and tears me down.
    Where is my free will, my autonomy, and why would it be necessary if I am still a work in progress?
    Negative consequences have to exist.
    If no alcoholic ever died of their actions why would any stop?

  • @javadivawithdog
    @javadivawithdog ปีที่แล้ว +5

    So stuck 😢 TY!

  • @tlopez5821
    @tlopez5821 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    I really appreciated this episode and the conversation about change and lack of effort, thanks Dr. Rick for your expertise and invaluable perspectives. I’m grateful to you both for being vulnerable and sharing personal stories that were touching, relatable and helpful. I vote for more episodes with you both sharing the same physical space, it added a very nice unified element we don’t often see in this more remote/virtual world. Keep up the great work!!

    • @ForrestHanson
      @ForrestHanson  ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Thank you!

    • @patriciaduff2090
      @patriciaduff2090 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      It was quite wonderful to see y’all together! 💕👏🏻

  • @sherryparker1317
    @sherryparker1317 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    Love the energy of you both in the same room. Your dad's playful approach and the loving and patient way you listened reminded me of me and my son during a long afternoon chat over the pandemic. We also had some very emotional talks, and that was also loving, and it was cathartic. Thanks for sharing your truth 🙏 wisdom and love. ❤

  • @sharonedigitale
    @sharonedigitale 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    This is such a beautiful discussion, especially between father and son. The back-and-forth acknowledgement is lovely. It’s evident you’ve both done the work and are continuing that effort. Thank you for offering meaningful content.

  • @stvn0378
    @stvn0378 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thanks so much one of the very few encouraging messages I've heard in so long

  • @drsandhyathumsikumar4479
    @drsandhyathumsikumar4479 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    Psychotherapy plus wisdom plus great relationship across generation 🎉🎉 gratitude to u 🎉❤

  • @franceshall3364
    @franceshall3364 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    Totally loved this episode. It clarified so much of what l have been doing but not really seeing and feeling how far l have come. Great boost to reframing how l view my journey in a positive way and realizing l am okay and loved.

    • @A_T__
      @A_T__ ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Same here! Its so freeing to hear it articulated so well! I imagine we lose a bit of our language or articulation abilities when weve been in learned helpelessness situations and numbed over from its contineous presence in our daily life. Thats so tragic. Wish there was some sort of a magic healing wound that we can point at a problemand have a full study & analysis of it with all the possible healing paths 😂

    • @franceshall3364
      @franceshall3364 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@A_T__ yes l wish that was possible because this journey is hard, but hearing your thoughts and guidance from Rick and Forest helps me feel connected and not alone. It gives me the courage to self regulate and know l can do it now.

  • @Captain_MonsterFart
    @Captain_MonsterFart ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I would like to hear much more about the people being praised for their effort vs talent.
    Is that my problem??? I got the "you're so talented!" compliment my entire life regarding art. And now I am 46 and having a hell of a time actually doing anything with it.

  • @flowerchildofsoul
    @flowerchildofsoul 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I love you both in the same room-it feels even more organic and wholesome. Either way, UBER grateful for this episode and all you both do, thank you so!!

  • @gracerobertson2802
    @gracerobertson2802 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    I want to fully endorse Rick’s idea for sound effects whenever he makes a list. I specifically love the idea of having one “special” sound effect for the last point! 😅🎉

  • @leahcortez8685
    @leahcortez8685 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Sir, you are speaking into everyday if my life since I became aware. I'm so relieved that I could cry. Thank you for swelling up what I've been looking for ever since I was handed Tara Brach's Radical Acceptance book. I'm so relieved and feel so much more less prone to things.

  • @katrinagedge6654
    @katrinagedge6654 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I love this self help and self confidence booster! Thank you so much!

  • @venusonmars
    @venusonmars ปีที่แล้ว +1

    You guys and this are great ~ ~ thanks for all the reflections!

    • @venusonmars
      @venusonmars ปีที่แล้ว +2

      O, and in response to your query at the end ~ I think that your dynamic is really interesting and electric. I've watched a few and gotten a lot of food for thought, both through the information and through witnessing your dynamics.

  • @marisacallan1921
    @marisacallan1921 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    This was excellent. I also enjoyed your synopsis at the end. You are always so adept at powerfully presenting the salient points of your discussions. As for having you both in the same room, It was actually nice to “feel” the interplay between you both. It was a different dynamic for the viewer.

  • @yaqutakanchwala2966
    @yaqutakanchwala2966 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Great episode! Just shared it with my family :)

  • @annedebthune3084
    @annedebthune3084 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    You guys are great together, you’re modeling how it should be for us, thank you 😊

  • @a.s.jackson8203
    @a.s.jackson8203 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I'm new here and you two are wonderful! I will be back. This info is so needed in my life.

  • @elizabethash4720
    @elizabethash4720 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I truly enjoy the vibe of your discussions and encouragements with Rick. Keep going please, and thankyou.😊

  • @FlyinDogRecords
    @FlyinDogRecords 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

    These shows are very useful. I have taken many ideas to help someone i love. Much appreciation.

  • @janislevy1ify
    @janislevy1ify ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Wow! Great discussion! Need this! Thank you! ❤
    During childhood anything less than perfect, like getting an A, not an A+, led to criticism. I can break through with encouragement and support. Without that, the thought of doing anything challenging leads to inertia. Sometimes I break through anyway. But sometimes avoid.
    So going to. Iisten to this again! 😊

  • @rustyshimstock8653
    @rustyshimstock8653 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Thanks guys... This is timely advice for me. I look forward to putting some of this into practice and trying some things again with more satisfying results.

  • @karenr5870
    @karenr5870 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Favorite episode so far!

  • @juliaorpheus
    @juliaorpheus ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I absolutely love your show. Thank you so much for providing such helpful content. It definitely improves my life.

  • @mibabaumi
    @mibabaumi ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I can’t really explain how I feel right now, but I really enjoyed this episode and it was beautiful watching both of you talk to each other in such an open minded and lovely way. Great episode, great content in general. I came across your work today on Spotify and I’ve been bindge listening/watching your episodes the whole day 😅 so inspiring!
    Keep up with the great work.
    Cheers from Luxembourg!

  • @punyashloka4946
    @punyashloka4946 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Very useful podcast, thank you 😊.

  • @suzannax
    @suzannax ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Wow, really insightful

  • @beyondallreason-du4pq
    @beyondallreason-du4pq 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

    love this video, learning a lot

  • @lifeisbeautiful7047
    @lifeisbeautiful7047 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Thank you so much

  • @PJ-fk3we
    @PJ-fk3we ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Thank you! Wonderful and encouraging conversations.

  • @charlesdaubner1017
    @charlesdaubner1017 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    You provide a beautiful model of a mature father / son relationship.

  • @MizMundoAdventures
    @MizMundoAdventures 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    This father speaks with so much knowledge and wisdom. Omgosh everything he says is so true. Some of us were told to keep quiet, stop laughing so loudly, why are you so childish, girls don’t do this, girls don’t do that so you just dumbed yourself down into nothing! 😓 Intentionally trying to change my life daily and grateful for all these helpful videos on TH-cam as some of us can’t afford therapy. Thank you ❤

  • @adrianhigh4210
    @adrianhigh4210 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Quite a romp/overview of reasons and mechanism for "being stuck being stuck"!!?. The mindfulness of noticing how there IS EVIDENCE that how we are treated and how many interactions that was based on (and the number of intetactions it will take to change [both internally AND externally] was a profound point I almost missed) BRILLIANT and the rest Thank you. AH. .UK

  • @clairethiemann9935
    @clairethiemann9935 ปีที่แล้ว

    Sorry to say YES, love you guys in the same room.

  • @DeborahOlander
    @DeborahOlander ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I often find your podcasts helpful. This one really hit home. I've been feeling so stuck. That was essentially what today's therapy session came down to. I really need to tear this apart. What am I gaining by being stuck?

  • @juliannedouglas6910
    @juliannedouglas6910 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Love this!

  • @jamnikjamnik6640
    @jamnikjamnik6640 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Great vibe video!a pleasure to watch And reflect:)

  • @Rose-gm9mm
    @Rose-gm9mm ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Helpful episode… Thank you! Re being in the same room… I found it more easy to hear and absorb the information offered when you were each in your own respective environments. Sometimes on this occasion - and with understandable exuberance, you talked over each other or went, at least for me, a little too fast with the flow. That said, Forrest’s summaries are always excellent!

  • @josefinjulin718
    @josefinjulin718 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Great talk and also what you are saying about the school system 👌🏼 and hat up for very humble way to talk about your position / virtues / strengths as a pupil/person, without being dismissive of others. As well as taking NPF:ers into consideration.
    So many ppl out there that I know take their success at X as proof that everybody who didn’t “make it” is just not smart/capable enough or not trying hard enough, and I just do not think this is a constructive approach as we se more and more unhealth unfold.
    We do all have to take responsibility and action regarding our own lives. However we also need to be able to have a constructive discussion about how to set up our societal structures / what is efficient and nurturing environments that promotes a good outcome for most and so on.

  • @marlenaeva3813
    @marlenaeva3813 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

    This was very valuable, have made so many notes and wrote pages of journaling based on the ideas in this podcast. Thanks, Forrest. You're also very cute and you and your father make the perfect duo.

  • @MichaelJohnson-vi6eh
    @MichaelJohnson-vi6eh 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I think 80% of my problem is self efficacy instead of self esteem. I am not a selfish, lazy mean person. I just cant seem to get done to accomplish the things that grown ups are supposed to get done. Much of my interpersonal difficulties are a defensiveness and a lack of experience being at ease with other people because I have SUCH A HUGE list of "gotta get done and should already have done." Totally assuming that everyone else is just getting it done like a boss. As you can imagine, this results in my shoe being nailed to the floor careerwise. Think I will listen to this podcast several times.

  • @lilyneva
    @lilyneva 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I think it could be helpful to make an episode that considered specifically (‘cleanly’) change from the angle of self-compassion, shame, and the autonomic nervous system.

  • @lonelyoldfathomelessbum
    @lonelyoldfathomelessbum ปีที่แล้ว

    ty

  • @inhale.exhale.2527
    @inhale.exhale.2527 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    30:03 i have felt for some time the greatest commodity in our lives has been highjacked by evolving 'ideology'.
    that commodity is irreplaceable time and productivity is not the best use of our lives. it is important but that has been 'capitalised upon' to the point of pathological dysfunction to the cost of our truly greatest output: close connection (divide and rule! just sayin'!).
    i would like to have shared your communication on this seminal subject as it points to almost every dysfunction in modern society i have been able to think of, but it is great to see a father and son talk so easily about such deep waters. respect guys. 🙏

  • @smadm2437
    @smadm2437 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I wish Forrest had said more about why he felt people thought certain things about him. Who didn't like his behaviour? More context would have helped me better understand the work he did on himself. Both Forrest and his Rick seem to have strong relationships with each other and their respective spouse so more on why they feel this way would be helpful. And I love that Rick reflects on therapy. Thanks both.

  • @itr6540
    @itr6540 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    There is a fear that stops people when they are stuck. It is not only lack of effort. Not that easy. I would recommend Porges, polyvagal theory.

    • @hummingbird4934
      @hummingbird4934 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Thank u I feel that I’m constantly trying to change my circumstance but am completely held back by how my body feels all the time which is awful. I don’t have the right emotional support either which makes everything so much harder

    • @hummingbird4934
      @hummingbird4934 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Oh and I feel helpless in my job which really drains me and I’m not happy at home. So I literally have nowhere to turn

    • @itr6540
      @itr6540 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@hummingbird4934 I understand it, and at such times I think it is very important to have self compassion. We need to look into things with compassion, and taking the time we need. No need to create more pressure on ourselves by urge or passing judgement…

  • @terr1
    @terr1 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Thank you, so much of value in this conversation between you both . I feel Rick was more relaxed in this setting....in the same room . There is always so much to take away from your podcast so I am grateful for your summary Forrest .

  • @mohit.s.basnet
    @mohit.s.basnet 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    i really loved this episode...specially Dr.Hanson when he confronts Forrest initially that the studio room is very well arranged compared to his childhood room...lol...the podcast was insightful

  • @Grungefan2018
    @Grungefan2018 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    60 yrs old and this learned helplessness and resulting isolation has left me with a life without social aupport , never married no kids.
    I just gave up 7 years ago and basically only accomplishing working.
    Things have devolved to the point where I not taking care of day to day stuff and now Im scared to even dig into the pile of mail and email (which I dont check).
    The sinking feeling is growing. I wish I had someone to talk me tbrough what i need to do
    I'm embarrassed and the fear of whats ahead if me is indescribable.

    • @nath1284
      @nath1284 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      You're not alone. Many people feel this way and it's not just OK but is understandable to seek outside help. I'd recommend starting with looking for support services in your area. Perhaps a group or a charitable organization, or a local library may have helpful resources and of course you are already finding great resources online like this podcast so you are already on the right track. One simple shift we can make is to move our thinking towards what we want as opposed to what we don't want / have. You can create a new way of being and in fact I see another episode is available on discovering your wants and needs, so that may be helpful. Be well 🙏

    • @sampal5352
      @sampal5352 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      How r u now? I know this feeling, just want to share, feeling with all my heart for you.

    • @PhotoAmbrosia
      @PhotoAmbrosia 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Understood, I'm in the same boat.
      I have been becoming my own best friend, and have found how angry I have become thinking about all that has been lost to me because of my bad programming.
      I think the anger was necessary for me to pay attention now and not make more things to be angry about.
      The anger still rears up now and then, but it's run its course and been replaced with an intense curiosity about who I'm now.
      Been having fun getting to know myself better, and taking back my life.
      The calvary ain't coming, I am the calvary.

    • @mysticgardener2704
      @mysticgardener2704 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I “quit” my own life and am in the same boat due to long held trauma.
      I’m so overwhelmed with the idea of digging out of this hole I dug myself into.
      You are not alone. Please reach out for help. We can do this and are worthy of navigating our way through the messes we created.
      Life is calling you! Let’s climb out of our isolation and help ourselves even if it’s difficult.

  • @MissPewDieLOVER
    @MissPewDieLOVER 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I reallly like that you do a summary at the end, thanks a lot :)

  • @meganeff
    @meganeff ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Trumpets for the win!

  • @inhale.exhale.2527
    @inhale.exhale.2527 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    57:08 resilience is finite. even rock is susceptible to effect. just water will do it given enough time.
    like boxers, we only have a couple of big fights in us. know that. 🙏

  • @llyradcynth691
    @llyradcynth691 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Love listening to you 2 riff. Wonderful father and son rapor as well as amazing, useful content.
    Gives one hope.
    Tks from the other side of the globe 🙏

  • @lilyneva
    @lilyneva 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I liked when you were in the studio with your partner because I think you were both in the shot. I felt that this way of filming it, both you and Rick in the room but separate frames wasn’t ideal, mainly because the camera positioning didn’t work so well. Between this and the former set up, I’d choose the former as it is much easier on the eye. I feel your chemistry and the lovely warmth between you come across equally well whether or not you are in the same room.

  • @laraparks7018
    @laraparks7018 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    That wasn't an experiment in learned helplessness, that dogs spirit was broken by the experimenter much like parents, siblings, teachers and peers do.
    Am I wrong?

    • @bodymindsoul60
      @bodymindsoul60 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Invaluable point,
      I rarely hear discussed.

    • @ForrestHanson
      @ForrestHanson  ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Yeah I think "their spirit was broken" is essentially a more evocative way to refer to learned helplessness.

    • @laraparks7018
      @laraparks7018 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @@ForrestHanson I believe learned helplessness occurs because a parent didn't foster independence but instead dependence. (Suffocating)
      A broken spirit occurs from deliberately administering abuse, like electrocution .

    • @M.C.Blackwell
      @M.C.Blackwell ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Poor dogs

  • @LM-uq9nv
    @LM-uq9nv 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    My experience is that self-efficacy is a reflection of privilege.

  • @inhale.exhale.2527
    @inhale.exhale.2527 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    every pol sci student should be acutely aware of this issue.
    control is seemingly the pathological primary objective of elitist, facistic politics and the subordination of the sovereign, individual locus of control is the state of 'learned helplessness' it aims to achieve.
    understanding these dynamics as well as we do today puts humanity at unprecedented risk of such abuse.

  • @javadivawithdog
    @javadivawithdog 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I need this episode on auto replay 😅

  • @melusine826
    @melusine826 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Are ricks lists anywhere please?? I forget to write them down

  • @dixie6407
    @dixie6407 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    In regard to you guys being in one room, it really doesn't look like "one room" on this end. Also, Ricks background was just a white door and a white wall and terribly drab! It is so much nicer to have each of you in a room with your books and plants and stuff on your bookshelves around you and behind you and brightening things up a bit. I understand it means a lot for you guys to be in the same room but if you do it again, please give Rick a plant or something so it's not so drab around him.

    • @ForrestHanson
      @ForrestHanson  ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Hey, totally fair. We recorded this in my office, and it's not really set up for two people visually. If/when we another session in the future I'll change the sight lines.

    • @dixie6407
      @dixie6407 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @@ForrestHanson Also, I really loved this episode. I totally identified with the dogs with the broken button. It just really triggered me and gave me an opportunity to do some EFT on an aspect I'd only seen part of previously. Hugs to you guys! You totally rock!

  • @belindacarter6872
    @belindacarter6872 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Omg - if my son would participate in such nerdy discourse w/me 😻

  • @inhale.exhale.2527
    @inhale.exhale.2527 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    ps. i've just seen that you have raised attachment in your ... catalogue/videography?🤔
    awesome. some catching up to do. 😁

  • @le_th_
    @le_th_ หลายเดือนก่อน

    I really feel something akin to pure contempt for the so called "scientists" who abuse animals all so they can get published in a peer-reviewed journal. It is absolutely astounding to me that clinicians talk about these "studies" so matter of factly as if it's not only acceptable, but also not a form of animal abuse to *knowingly* and *intentionally* subject these poor dogs to pain they otherwise would not encounter in their natural life, and for an extended period of time. It is psychological and physical abuse, plus emotional neglect. It's absolutely sickening and, worse still, it's unnecessary. smh
    ...and yes, I went to an academically rigorous research institution where I learned that this kind of abusive "research" also takes place. Just last night walking on the UC Berkeley campus, I walked right past that animal research laboratory (actually 2 different ones) knowing the animals in those cages are suffering a myriad of unnecessary pain, harm, and what many would call torture, and most definitely death (because this I saw first hand back in 2006-7), all so these empathy-deficient researchers can get published and keep (or get new) funding. No, I am not one of the nut-jobs who screams through megaphones and protests to get on the evening news because that has done little to nothing to affect change over many decades.
    This study @10:00 *did NOTHING to help explain why humans behave in certain ways*. All it did was get researchers published in academic journals so they could *maybe* get their next round of funding to pay the expenses of their lab, their stipends, etc. The canine neurophysiology is not the same as human neurophysiology. Those poor dogs suffered unnecessarily, all for a single journal article that proved NOTHING about human behavior, only how (some) dogs will behave.
    This abuse was so traumatizing for these dogs that he talks about them *thrashing about* trying to get away from the pain that was, quite literally, being forced on them, and them traumatized these dogs so severely that it took...and I quote from this guy's father, "dozens, literally hundreds of trials to retrain the [torture] group of dogs".
    So very glad I started my Monday morning with this podcast....smh It is absolutely sickening that this goes on, that it called "science", and that most clinicians are so empathy-deficient and morally bereft that they can't see how horrific it is that dogs (and animal, really) are put through this kind of torture and that it traumatizes them so severely, and then compare it to the human brain which is quite different structurally.
    Those dogs had feelings, had emotional needs that were ignored, and deserved BASIC SAFETY. I'm sure this comment will be promptly deleted for calling out the moral and empathic deficiencies which are rife in academia, and also how casually this man's father talks about what these vulnerable, unsuspecting, sweet animals endured and how long it too for them to recover from the trauma (i.e. dozens, literally hundreds of trials to undo the harm they did to them).

  • @inhale.exhale.2527
    @inhale.exhale.2527 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    self efficacy requires sound foundations. you cannot build upon sand. 🙏
    moot question: do we need to change our design expectations ...
    absolutely! 🙏

  • @lauriejameson4780
    @lauriejameson4780 ปีที่แล้ว

    Please keep this channel going, it’s so necessary! Please don’t sell out like everyone else

  • @miuthub7954
    @miuthub7954 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Concede losing without trying 😢

  • @javadivawithdog
    @javadivawithdog ปีที่แล้ว +1

    We lack a concept of Mastery in the US.

  • @helenaquin1797
    @helenaquin1797 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

    "Mildly but painfully electrified"
    Gawd..

    • @ForrestHanson
      @ForrestHanson  11 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Yeah, psych research even just a few decades ago could be absolutely brutal.

  • @inhale.exhale.2527
    @inhale.exhale.2527 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    2:28 can you expand on 'structural mistreatment'?

  • @alessandracm1921
    @alessandracm1921 29 วันที่ผ่านมา

    "The mistery of wanting..." 🤔

  • @coppersense999
    @coppersense999 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thank you for bookmarking the dog study at 8:30. I have heard it, never liked it and honestly wish we would stop acting as though it is acceptable evidence of anything. As much as we might currently benefit from medical advances gained from studies done on black women in particular, back in the early 1900s, often without anesthesia, thankfully I do not hear modern professionals detail those studies. They were entirely inhumane and unethical obviously, and animal studies, including cruelties inflicted on rats, fall into the same category in my opinion.
    Humans have the potential for genius innovation. I find it hard to believe we could not conceive of a less violent way to arrive at the same medical conclusions efficiently. Maybe I'm wrong.
    In any case, I will take a hard pass on hearing about it once again, out of consideration to my own sensitivity and trauma. Glad I saw the time stamp in advance! 👍

  • @inhale.exhale.2527
    @inhale.exhale.2527 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    42:40 "beyond capacity to influence." how about the end of british colonialism in africa, war and associated traumas, the loss of identity and 'homeland', the review and processing of this way beyond my own lifetime, that deeply dysfunctional historical perspective, the concurrent psychological and geo political changes and evolution, dissociation from friends and family because of that perpetuated toxicity, the side effects of self harm recrimination invalidation such as ocd, perfectionism, decades of depression, the utterly destructive effect of this on my chance of an education, career and better 'normal' life, then the coup degrac of gutting my core vulnerability to malignant narcissistic abuse (sociopathic ex wife 🤯), migration through 2 continents and 5 countries to reach a point of such LH i am almost if not spiritually broken. house bound. spent.
    almost. 🥴
    opportunities having been missed, help into the us would be appreciated. 4 visits and i felt at home there. 🙏 (NEVER take your homeland for granted!)

  • @dsam3
    @dsam3 ปีที่แล้ว

    Carol recanted the growth mindset. ! Please google it

    • @bellaluce7088
      @bellaluce7088 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Carol Dweck published new research validating growth mindset interventions as recently as 2019 in Nature so I find it highly unlikely she recanted the theory. TH-cam seems to dislike URLs in comments, but if you have search terms or an article title I'd be curious to check it out. I didn't find anything when I googled it.

  • @Me-xn7kx
    @Me-xn7kx 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Society doesn't care about how hard you tried or your heart, only the best and brightest matter.

  • @franceshall3364
    @franceshall3364 ปีที่แล้ว

    B

  • @krocha9591
    @krocha9591 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Prevention : Educate new mothers the importance of every aspect of a newborns life and how this affects critical rooted unconscious feelings and emotion later in life. All mothers reach out to your children and share this elixer of transcendent love.

    • @AM-kc1wi
      @AM-kc1wi หลายเดือนก่อน

      This is not just on the mothers

  • @inhale.exhale.2527
    @inhale.exhale.2527 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    so dad's a psychologist and son's an educationalist? 🤔

  • @muthaluva
    @muthaluva ปีที่แล้ว

    Wheres your subscribe button

  • @user-bz5ez6le7x
    @user-bz5ez6le7x 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

    you talk about not worrying about the outcome and be concerned about the process. Have you thought about people in circumstances, especially work, where you have a job that is based on an annual score. this annual score is our ANNUAL Primus GFS 3rd Party Audit. I do all this work on my own and continue to worry ever year about passing the audit. If you don't pass the audit, no amount of how much you tried or effort, if you don't pass your company can no longer sell their product.

  • @nobodynowhere21
    @nobodynowhere21 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I find their relationship triggering haha. Can't see other families having healthy dynamics, everyone has to be as miserable and empty as our tribe!

  • @leahb.mathis5727
    @leahb.mathis5727 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Omg, so triggered by the spoon!!

  • @Laz_RS
    @Laz_RS 25 วันที่ผ่านมา

    learned Helplessness might be better named as Learned Hopelessness.

  • @mitaganguly3948
    @mitaganguly3948 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    First hate yourself then love yourself...what others... it'll take seven lifetimes to get me....😮...too much trouble...too evolved...want to just be a honey bee....❤...get the joke...be bee...😂😅😮😢...okok just be...🎉