Every second you spend thinking about the next moment you avoid embracing the present. Ensure that your life is not spent living in your head. Learn new ways of moving past this situation www.askanoushka.co.uk/membership
Integrity is better than revenge. Revenge will destroy us because we lose integrity within ourselves . And if you do something to get revenge you give them supply in that way you will be feeding them to keep destroying your life. you shouldnt be worry about them, Worry about yourself, soothe you, love yourself deeply and love others again but love somone who can love you back too. heal and thrive beautiful people, and love.
Yup. If they upset or aggravate you, they would fully ENJOY that they got a reaction out of you. And the more they upset you, the more they like it. That's why silence is the best response. It conveys a lack of caring- indifference. They hate it.
Best revenge is to stop reacting to their existence. Reacting in a positive or negative way is still giving them supply. Stop and play dead around them. Show no emotions be deadly boring around them.
This content is true. I initially wasn't trying to use silence as a means of creating a narcasisst wound. I was using it to distance myself and strengthen my resolve. The wound was a nice suprise
So true about silence and that being the best revenge. Give them no ammunition to fire back with. Keep being happy and try to find positive wholesome people.
So True!!! KEEP being happy and search desperately for some true positive Wholesome people to surround yourself with. You'll be Blessed and the uplift will aid in the healing process!! Thank you!!!
The best revenge you can get on your narcissist is to completely separate them out of your life and that they know that you know what they are. No words need to be exchanged but they will know that they lost their grip on you and that hurts them more then anything. They know that you figured out that you are better then them and that sets reality back into their false self as they are not worthy of your genuine love or friendship because they don't know what those two words even mean.
Classic closure: walking calmly behind the narc when he/she exits your life(at your home) & quietly(NEVER SLAM) close the door, locking it, never again to open it to them. Your closure, your way, your domain, your power! Like the ROYALTY you truly are, grace under fire. They let their mask slip, don't dare let your crown slip!
The thing about revenge is that it requires you to stay engaged. If I've been done wrong by someone, I simply disengage; never to return. It's that simple.
I once had a pastor who would tease about if his wife ever left him. He'd say, if she ever did, he would follow her, said the worst thing she could do would be to leave him with himself. The congregation got a good laugh that day. He also said his wife earning more money than him never intimidated him because he knew that she spent it all at home & on him. He was a very wise man of God.
Yes Karma will happen, this is why I believe in God and he will handle it. I love myself enough to say no! She got caught by my neighbors sneaking the guy in the house, while was laid up in the hospital with 3rd burns saving her and my family from a house fire! She still managed to sneak him in , while I was in bed asleep. This is why I will continue to learn and teach people about narcissism
Steve My Triplet brother is married to one. She separated all 6 of his brothers and sisters from him. He is sick and weak now. She poisoned his dog and her daughter got sick and Morphine would not work because she over medicated her. He doesn't see it. He needs prayers I'm praying for him. I'm praying for you to get over all that waisted time, energy and Love. God Bless you!
To anyone going through this. Stay strong and keep looking forward and focusing on building your life back up. Took me a couple of years to realise that ruminating keeps you stagnant. You won’t come out of that dark place. I have been thriving since I realised this. Reconnected with old friends and family who distanced themselves from me because of the narcissists toxic behaviour towards myself and to be honest most other people in my life. Once you let it all go it’s like a massive weight is lifted from your shoulders. New beginnings. Onwards and upwards. Good luck. You’ll get there.
Best revenge is moving on leveling up, and acting like they didn’t exist is the best revenge. Obviously easier said than done but trust me it’s worth the hard work !
You are right but I think you need to work through the pain to heal so that you don't carry the effects of your wounds forward. It would be unfair to hurt the next person because you have not healed.
It's amazing that the truth comes out at the end. It always does. It took 14 yrs of me putting up with a person in the extended family becoming more and more abusive, until finally she imploded and her mask came off for all to see. My advice, hold on to your truth. Sit back, and let the universe work it's magic.
Thank you for this info. I needed this. Once I realised; "You cannot put a crown on a clown & expect a king", I walked away with my dignity & took my precious energy far, far away from this spiritual vampire!
Thank you Anoushka! Yes, no matter what, if you go and stay no contact , you will heal completely. Time heals all wounds. You will have to go through pain, extreme pain. I know, i went through that. It was absolutely horrible , the worst thing i've ever been through in my life. But I've been no contact for almost a year now and i'm feeling so much better now, I see so clearly as to the manipulation that was done to me now. It was criminal. I take part in the blame for allowing it but i tried so hard to do the right thing. I did all i could , and i've accepted that. I'm done with it now and i don't want anything to do with the narcissist now. I will never go back and deal with that ever again. So now i'm on my way to healing, i'm feeling alright but the narcissist is going to go on and deal with the toxicity that's in their f*cked up head with the new supply and for the rest of their life. I'm done, I'm out, i'm well rested and clear headed now. You can do it, you have to do it. No contact. And that means FOREVER!
You worded up everything so well and accurately. I went through the same.. moments of extreme pain at the same time realizing that these type of people actually walk around us like they're normal, lying through their teeth. YUCK! Is what I feel now. while I am doing a lot better in healing and will come out even stronger because of these experiences and revelations of NPD, I know they have to live their low life scummy existence every single moment of their lives. It must suck really bad to be them.
I got massive revenge. It felt good but in the end it's not worth the hassle. It just gives them fuel to say you're crazy to everyone. Best revenge is to ghost.
Thank you for a much needed reminder. I have been almost 11 months n.c. and I have walked away with my head held high. My ex is a psychopath and narcissist. I have had to listen to the book psychopath free about a dozen times to heal and I'm still only halfway through my healing. The best more precious gift I ever did for myself was to finally stand up for myself and shut out the toxic garbage that was in my life. And now I am reaping the benefits of not having all of the toxic garbage I once had. There was a moment in time I thought I'd never get out, and here I am, proof that you can get out of a toxic abusive relationship and become whole again. Through some of my counseling sessions i have written 2 letters to my ex but never sent. Please listen to her because she is right. Release the energy and toss it away or burn it, whatever you need to do to heal. But writing it down does something special rather than keeping it all in your mind. My silence is a reminder that everyday I grow stronger without my ex in my life and everyday I love myself just that much more.
Put your energy into maintaining your dignity, integrity and sense of self. You'll shine like a beacon and the narc will be blinded and dumbstruck others will stop placing value on anything they say about you... Thank you, I needed this video...
Bitterness is like drinking poison , and expecting the other person to die It's actually everything they didnt want , and it's their attempt to take your peace , contentment, and joy , in exchange for their fear, jealousy , anger, and hatred . The more you react , the more in control , and successful they " feel " It's all about how it makes them " feel" Once you understand how damaged they truly are . And as well in spite of that damage they attempt to control you , so you are responsible for fixing it , not them they will not acknowledge their false persona , their perfect , in their mind . It was after listening to , a lecture pointing out 20 traits , of a person with npd, and as I listened it was , it was a eye opener. At the end of the lecture, it was then pointed out , anyone exhibiting 15 or more of this traits was a seriously disordered person . Love , patience, understanding , tolerance doesn't conquer all . So yes there is anger , dissappointment, frustration , confusion , sorrow, greif , pain It's also like a tornadoe, going through, you can only clean , it up , and rebuild, wiser, and stronger for it Not easy , but your worth it
The best advice! Thankyou. This is how i left my toxic girlfriend recently. I wasnt sure about it, however watching this Ive realised after so much blame, guilt and pain that is placed on you, will never change them no matter how much you give to the relationship. Walking away and ignoring these unhealthy people is the only way, otherwise you will be trapped in this endless cycle of total frustration, anger, hurt, anxiety and unhappiness. Its the hardest thing ive ever done. This video is so reassuring because now finally in my life i know deep down inside ive done something right and i take great pride in that.
As You Should. be very Proud. They may not Love You at this time. BUT they will Respect You. A lot of Men don't have the Balls to just Walk Away from there partner. You as a Man become a whole other POWER within yourself.And now you are able to leap tall buildings in single bound like SUPERMAN.
Silence is the greatest weapon...it's karma in itself as it shows indifference to them even if your walking through hell at the moment because they don't know that. I have also ended all social media...as if I'm dead. I give Nothing. I need the peace and quite to heal and work on me.
*Thank you for this vid!!!* I’ve been drowning in my own ‘need’ for vengeance/retribution to the point where I can’t well eat or sleep. I can’t relax at all because I keep on thinking about just how BADLY they’ve done me, what all I’ve lost because of them, where I am now because of all of it, and that the wrong person is suffering here. I feel so damn _used and thrown away._ But your vids are helping me see the situation for what it is, see the big picture. It’s very validating and putting this raw _outrage_ into perspective for me. I really needed this today. Bless. ❤️🌻💝🌺🤗
Yes true. Good advice! When your out be thankful, work on healing, and let the natural consequences and God deal with them, believe me they will not get out of this life without God's wrath.
Thank you for this I’m a shadow of my former self ...... I’m here because I don’t know what to do next .... I’ve blocked mine & trying not to think of him .... this is one of the hardest things I’ve had to go through
It's a healing process that's for sure, but please stay focused and silent. Keep pushing forward and time will heal, trust the process, heal yourself and you will understand and be grateful things didnt work out, the truth prevails and you will begin to see and understand everything for what it really was and you will eventually be ok with it once you heal, it wont bother you anymore, just focus on you and Stay the course.
I even made the comment to my ex once "who needs enemies when they have a partner who does that " and it is so true. They are Gremlins and you will literally feel that way. Rationalisation is impossible because that is not what they are interested in. Escape
I wish i knew about this video 7 years ago I remember i wrote a letter to my ex.. explaining to him how i really feel..instead he gave it to other ppl to read n trust me i was made a laughing stock out of it. I now open my eyes n am ready to let go of someone who has absolutely nothing for me. Im thankful i found your videos.. ur bringing me 1 step closer to my goals❤
Thank you for your wisdom. Concentrating on one’s healing and recovery is our job! With the abuser out of our lives, we regain a sense of peace and calm. No matter what else I do, remaining true to myself is my focus. My “revenge” is placing my attention on me and my well-being! Blessings!
The best revenge I got was becoming very happy and prosperous without the narcissists in my life. They've continued to sow their own seeds of self-destruction .
I love your tough love approach, it hits the soul a little harder and makes me proud of my strength. 2 months and counting of stone cold silence and moving on with my life!....
You are my #1 support. This topic hit home. After being tossed into the narcissist drama I decided that complete silence is my path to healing. I never had revenge on my list. I know he wanted to make me the crazy person to others. My journey in the last 3 years has been to recover from the emotional abuse. I can write a book on this mess. He continues to use any means to contact me. I don’t need to know how he is nor does he need to know my business. I refuse to give him any second of my time. He walked out accusing me of things and twisted the truth. Thank you, this is my go to video.
I went through this. The only thing i can say is it passes. I'm sorry for you. They hurt you. What Rita said below. They wake up daily feeling empty and jump into an action discharge mode of functioning to rid that empty feeling they feel when their not distracted. They want distraction but don't always get supply during covid. Silence is self preservation.
Your words literally saved me today. This video was exactly what I needed to watch in my dark moment. My healing is definitely not linear. Some days are tougher than others. You helped me to feel better again. I have gone no contact and it has been vital to my healing journey. But I still do get angry
I had to come to the realization that even though it was family, it doesn’t matter because they aren’t important to my well being because of the fact they had to go that far to hurt you.
BLESSED words to remember! This approach has a lot truth that can also be used by the narc. IF not applied properly! Love your approach & view !!! Thank You!!
2 yrs ago I was literally plotting revenge to the point of buying zip ties, finding a secluded location, and bought a stun gun to obviously get them under control. I was planning on giving back the pain and sabotage they played on me (I was a REAL nightmare to people when under the spell). Then one day it hit me.... This is what they want! Not the torture because my silence is the torture. They knew I was mean and about that "life" when I was being tricked. Now they're stuck feeling their shame without the source (me). They have emotions, they have toxic shame, and hate... Now I don't even think about them? It's crazy and now I'm back to the nicest, happiest person I know... Sorry for all the details and thanks for the content. God Bless
I looked at the situation as the film ‘war games’ ... no matter who launched the nuclear missile first (USA, UK, Russia, Asia, India etc) - the computer eventually understood nobody wins. In a narcissistic situation - WE will never win since they are damaged.
Thank you 🙏 his new supply contacted me after she left him to find out what happened to me. We chatted. I’ve been no contact for 2 years now but I’ve seen him in court and he was convicted. Since speaking to her I have more anger and rage after hearing his lies. I wanted to send all of his friends my evidence, but you are right, none of them have ever checked on me since I got out, so why would they believe me anyway. Yes silence is my power, you are correct, he isn’t well. I’m happy and healing. Sometimes it just comes back and consumes me x
Thank you for your words of wisdom. Its better to leave and go no contact then being stuck in a rabbithole. I had the fortune to avoid unecessary disapointment, but I aknowledge the pain that people go through. Dont give up on your dreams!
Took me years of going back and forth to realize that silence is the best way to get my revenge. Thanks for what you do. Wish I had this information years ago.
Over three years of no contact. To best describe this, if they want to play ping pong with you, it’s simple don’t even attempt to hit the ball back. There is no game then. It is amazing how much better my life has become. Toxic family members think that I have an obligation to communicate with them because of my birth in the family. This premise does not exist in my reality! Peace and love.
Im still struggling. I broke up with the Narc in mid june of 2020. He gave me the hpv virus and when I found this out I reached out to him, mainly to vent. I had gone 4 months no contact prior to me doing this. I feel as if I have started over again with the no contact. I am now at no contact for one month. I am still so angry and upset with myself mostly for allowing this to happen. I needed to hear this again and just STAY AWAY. I actually spoke to the narc to find out that he is dating someone new and that upset me. I need to remember like you said -- IT DOESNT MATTER. STAY AWAY. thanks for the reminder I needed this
Contracting hpv is significan and next time maybe 🤔 HIV.- Stay Clear Away!! - They’re not health conscious or even care about their health. They do not care about other people’s health and their impact.
When they ghost U, take them back if they return . Make them believe that you have forgiven them then...leave them without an explanation when they least expected. If u leave them immediately, it won't hit hard because it is what they expected.
Feeling quite desperate for help right now so I’m reaching out to videos for inspiration to help me get a goal. I’m in such an awful place with my ex narc I can’t understand how I even got here :( thanks for the video ❤️
Learn the lesson from it, be gentle with yourself on day @ a time dont even try to understand how it happened thats just the ego. You will become stronger for it, people will come and go. ❤🙏
Add me to the group of survivors. Keep your head up and never forget that it had nothing to do with you or what you did/didn’t do-- it had everything to do with your N-ex... Trust in God and reinvest all of the love that you had for them in yourself! Someday, we will find that wonderful person (and unconditional love) that we deserve :)
In the beginning I had No choice but to blindly believe in what Anoushka explains in this video and in the comments from viewers that had already taken the path. Sticking to this plan 100% has helped me to recover and time has unfolded the whats and whys. This is the ONLY way to get healed. Focus on your life, forget everything else.
This has helped me so much thank you Anoushka yes doing my best to remain silent regarding the narcissist I know it’s to true I don’t want that bad energy around and putting my good energy back out there and wasting my time with unnecessary drama so yes I am healing day by day it’s just taking time but am getting there it’s great when toxic people are not around!
Thank you. I’ve been silent, and low and behold here she comes calling. I haven’t said a word or text. Full of different emotions right now but no contact what so ever.
Yes, one of the toughest lessons to learn is that whatever you say to them it is used against you. Even if it is just on the basic level of giving supply because they have affected you. Completely agree, although difficult to do, best to say absolutely nothing. And that obviously speaks very much for itself.
I really love your encouragement/approached. You make me feel stronger listening to your video. Thank you so much for sharing this video I can resonate from what you have said. I am hurting these time but as I listen to all your advice I am stronger I can get through this.
This is probably one of your best video's! I was with a narc for 13 yrs (didn't know what narcissism was at the time) until after I broke it off & started researching! I can honestly say that I was never tempted to seek revenge because the way I viewed it, seeking revenge would make me no better than him; and I wasn't about to let him think that I still cared enough to want revenge! For those of you that have walked away, for your own good keep moving forward & never, ever look back!
Thank you! I finally accepted the truth about trying to confront my mother’s manipulations , she will twist the truth against me and she gets the double satisfaction on her successful lies , controlling sickness, so I am starting on the letter number one and to a lot more of narcs !!!
I made the mistake of attempting the friendship thing afterwards. HUGE mistake. The lies and manipulation just continue. It's truly unbelievable. My narc is the most horrid human I have ever met in my life. Destroying my life just wasn't enough. He MUST continue to lie and use. I really thought being "friends" would be different. The shock of his abhorrent behavior still leaves me speechless, unable to sleep, eat, conduct normal life things, and I just don't know how to make these awful feelings cease, and I see them devouring me.
That was his goal. You showed him kindness and he hated you for it and punished with more abuse. Don’t ever let someone make you feel bad for being a compassionate, loving human being. When you heal, you will find a healthy adult male who will value those things in you. Find a good therapist who can help you deal with your hurt and betrayal. I was married to a narcissist for 18 years. You can survive this...because I did. Peace and blessings to you dear one.
My ex just tried to friend zone triangulate me with her new boyfriend. I shut it down immediately, gave her the option of “it’s either me or him”, no in-between. She ghosted me with no response, therefore I blocked her number permanently. These people are disordered scumbags only in it for themselves and absolutely cannot see the other person’s perspective. They are dangerous to anyone’s emotional well-being.
Feel them and then let them go, actually allow yourself to feel, I experienced that bitter pain you speak of as well. Promise you It’ll pass just don’t get stuck in It snd become bitter like the rest of people who hold onto their trauma and pain. Feel It let It go, get better!
Don't give them anything. They won't change . Be satisfied that you don't have to listen to their B.S.. The sound of my ex's voice is enough to cause an anxiety attack. Give yourself time. Only time between your ex and new better happier experiences will heal your heart. Plus I know that lack of information is the worst punishment in my case. Peace.
Thank you so much for this video. When I feel angry, when I feel like the Narcissist committed a crime against me which I cannot get justice for, I'll remember your words. I won't stoop to his level. Positivity and care for myself is the way forward. No more drama. ❤️
Thank you for such a wonderful video.. I'm dealing with a narc neighbor.. she has tried to destroy my life .. mostly through smearing terrible lies about me .. she doesn't even know me on a personal level .. it's been really difficult .. your words and knowledge have helped me so much!!
Me: I want space because Im feeling sick. Ex: I want permanent space. Me: sure. I blocked and did just that. Ex: narcissistic injury and hovered like crazy. Me: you get what you asked for 👍🏼
This is gold! You Tube recommended me your videos probably because I watch a lot of stuff about narcissism by dr. Ramani, Narc daily, and others but this is gold because I was wrestling with this though of exactly sticking fork or/and explaining anxiously but you just got to me, to my bones about it and instantly the light bulb in my head popped and those intense ideas and ruminating STOPPED! Thank you.
I don’t have it in me anymore to talk to her. The resentment is too much and I don’t have the strength to put on a smile and keep going. Because Every time I try , she finds a way to bring me down and use my words against me. Her words are poison and she leaves me second guessing myself constantly. She’s discarded me for over 12 months. I can’t find the strength to leave. I don’t want to leave my children. For the men out there that are in a narcissistic relationship. You are good enough , you are a good person. And you deserve better. Stay strong.
I really love your approached/ your advice. It is very encouraging and it makes me feel stronger listening to your video I learned so much from it. I was really hurt from this person I feel so low and humiliated when I try my very best to show him that I care so much about him but he took me for granted. As li listen to what you said the only revenge I could give him is to stay silent focus on myself and let it go! Thank you for sharing this video. I love it! I will be listening to it on and on to make me feel better of myself.
Thanks so much darling! i zstudy alot about how to get away from narc people. But they way you explain it give me hope and let me feel relax again it give me my peace back i feel. I deal with a narc mother that play games with the narc neighbors to drive me crazy! only because i want to be a artist/ expresionist. But after listening toyou i feel you helped me alot by using the right vibe :D anyway Much respect and keep it up lady :) i feel you inspire alot :D One love !!!
After a month of my silence, I started getting VMs of just long sad sighs. 😏 Then occasional cards in the mail with little notes like “penny for your thoughts.” He couldn’t believe I was GONE.
REVENGE is a dangerous game!! It tends to boomerang. God said, vengeance is mine! He needs no help. If actions warrant, Karma will deliver justice. Disappointment is not a crime. Live on and let live!!
Every second you spend thinking about the next moment you avoid embracing the present. Ensure that your life is not spent living in your head. Learn new ways of moving past this situation www.askanoushka.co.uk/membership
Absolutely powerful information... Thank you!
Integrity is better than revenge. Revenge will destroy us because we lose integrity within ourselves . And if you do something to get revenge you give them supply in that way you will be feeding them to keep destroying your life.
you shouldnt be worry about them,
Worry about yourself, soothe you, love yourself deeply and love others again but love somone who can love you back too.
heal and thrive beautiful people, and love.
I got the silent treatment from my narc cause I was " bad". I'm returning the gift of "permanent" silence.
😍😌😅👍🏻
Good work 💌
The same
aint life peaceful without them? its been a long time coming, but im at peace now
same here...
Silence is viewed as being ignored, insignificant...they hate it
Bingo
They are insignificant. Just sick parasites who feed off the souls of genuine people.
Scum are insignificant 🤣
"Living well is the best revenge".
My revenge is my freedom and as God says LET vengeance be mine Amen thanks lovely lady
Amen 🙏🦋
what is freedom? You are still being controlled and you still have to follow the law. Freedom is an illusion.
RITA, Hey
Amen! That's the bible verse I was thinking of yesterday.
Revenge is instant if they are dumb and poor. She pretends to be happy but she and the other women are crying inside. 🔥😄
If there is one thing they hate its indifference.
Yes 🙌🏽
Yup. If they upset or aggravate you, they would fully ENJOY that they got a reaction out of you. And the more they upset you, the more they like it. That's why silence is the best response. It conveys a lack of caring- indifference. They hate it.
And yet that's what they are made of.
I was just thinking that.
21 months silence .makes difference . Get control back
Best revenge is to stop reacting to their existence. Reacting in a positive or negative way is still giving them supply. Stop and play dead around them. Show no emotions be deadly boring around them.
Yelp
Works with people like police too. They're cut from the same cloth. Ignore and avoid. Their idiocy becomes plain to everyone.
‘Grey rocking’ is a great technique to use on these types of people.
Yep. The best revenge is to go full no-contact/Gray rock with these people.
Yes, we can all do that best when they are sitting in Jail wehre they belong.
Silence is the deafening sound of success!! My success is my revenge!! ❤
This content is true. I initially wasn't trying to use silence as a means of creating a narcasisst wound. I was using it to distance myself and strengthen my resolve. The wound was a nice suprise
That's right Abdul silence is really used to distance ourselves and gain back our strength which those demons destroyed.
🎯👤👍everything u said
So true about silence and that being the best revenge. Give them no ammunition to fire back with. Keep being happy and try to find positive wholesome people.
That’s right
Thank you for your comment 🙌🏽
It’s so hard to find positive wholesome people in a world that’s so broken 😞
So True!!! KEEP being happy and search desperately for some true positive Wholesome people to surround yourself with. You'll be Blessed and the uplift will aid in the healing process!!
Thank you!!!
The best revenge you can get on your narcissist is to completely separate them out of your life and that they know that you know what they are. No words need to be exchanged but they will know that they lost their grip on you and that hurts them more then anything. They know that you figured out that you are better then them and that sets reality back into their false self as they are not worthy of your genuine love or friendship because they don't know what those two words even mean.
Nick Bargas
Perfectly said !! I agree with you 100 % !!
Well said....
So we'll put.... Love it
Absolutly.
True. Well-said.
Classic closure: walking calmly behind the narc when he/she exits your life(at your home) & quietly(NEVER SLAM) close the door, locking it, never again to open it to them. Your closure, your way, your domain, your power! Like the ROYALTY you truly are, grace under fire. They let their mask slip, don't dare let your crown slip!
Love this 🥰
Thought mine was gone, but alas no. Returned behind the scenes and has caused me more despair
YES PERFECT I LOVE THAT !!!💪💪💪😃😘🍷
Grace under Fire!! Love this line
How I love this!! Thank you!
The thing about revenge is that it requires you to stay engaged. If I've been done wrong by someone, I simply disengage; never to return. It's that simple.
Oh really.....
@@sandygrays4066 - for me, yes. For others it may be a different experience.
Alicia, It doesn't get any Simpler then that. Its there LOSS.
Yes. One week of no contact now and planning to keep it that way for life.
Yes yes yes
I ghosted “HIM”back in 2018
ABSOLUTELY No contact
SO EMPOWERING
I am Healed
I am a survivor 💚💜
Me too😌👍🏻
2 years I'm free and never been happier and calmer💜🦋👻🤗😌💜🦋
Amazing well done ! god bless the narc survivors club. 🙂
So did I. Only one week in but getting better little by little. Horrible, painful experience though.
When you’re so hurt and so desperate, make it a game. Block him right now. Every minute you stay silent, you win. It gets easier and YOU WIN!
Or her
Yes
That’s brilliant
Sentence them to THEMSELVES.
Silence is a death sentence
Yes!! Exactly what I did nearly 2 yrs ago, no contact at all. Even deleted my social media so they couldn't be nosy and spy on my business.
YES!
I once had a pastor who would tease about if his wife ever left him. He'd say, if she ever did, he would follow her, said the worst thing she could do would be to leave him with himself. The congregation got a good laugh that day. He also said his wife earning more money than him never intimidated him because he knew that she spent it all at home & on him. He was a very wise man of God.
Perfect!
Yes best revenge is telling the narc F O in silence 👏🏽💪🏽
SWEET
Right on Sister 🤣🥂
In public it's kcuf ffo !!!
Great post. Thank you. "Living well is the best revenge." (George Herbert)
Let the dead bury the dead.
Your silence will be your strength. Don't give them one single word.
Thanks for encouraging me at this critical moment. I will let that go and silence is power!
Yes the 💥 power is in your silence. Use different tactics to them 👍
@@anoushkamarcin
That really helped me understand something when you stated that they're not doing this to you is just who they are.
❤️
The best revenge is being happy and better than ever...without them
Yes Karma will happen, this is why I believe in God and he will handle it. I love myself enough to say no! She got caught by my neighbors sneaking the guy in the house, while was laid up in the hospital with 3rd burns saving her and my family from a house fire! She still managed to sneak him in , while I was in bed asleep. This is why I will continue to learn and teach people about narcissism
Sorry that you experienced this. My heart goes out to you. Yes please keep teaching and learning about narcissism 👏
What a heartless jerk.
Steve D - ❤️
@@issimma thank you beautiful!
Steve My Triplet brother is married to one. She separated all 6 of his brothers and sisters from him. He is sick and weak now. She poisoned his dog and her daughter got sick and Morphine would not work because she over medicated her. He doesn't see it. He needs prayers I'm praying for him. I'm praying for you to get over all that waisted time, energy and Love. God Bless you!
To anyone going through this. Stay strong and keep looking forward and focusing on building your life back up. Took me a couple of years to realise that ruminating keeps you stagnant. You won’t come out of that dark place. I have been thriving since I realised this. Reconnected with old friends and family who distanced themselves from me because of the narcissists toxic behaviour towards myself and to be honest most other people in my life. Once you let it all go it’s like a massive weight is lifted from your shoulders. New beginnings. Onwards and upwards. Good luck. You’ll get there.
Best revenge is moving on leveling up, and acting like they didn’t exist is the best revenge. Obviously easier said than done but trust me it’s worth the hard work !
Quiet war with silent weapons. Overcome the bondage of words with silence. Conquer by silence.
Have a great day, everyone. 😎
I wish that all wars were this easy.
Thank you love this. OK Thanks MH
Brilliantly put and so easy and lazy to implement ! A war where you can snooze lol !
@@joanlynch5271 haha yes ! You win the war by snoozing !
Right! Silence is VERY LOUD!!! & CLEAR!
The best revenge is to let God deal with them
I know it's difficult but just forget about them and get on with your life. Don't give them your time in any shape or form.
Yes 🙌🏽 great advice
👏🏽👏🏽
So hard when it's your mother. She s a good actress, her tears sound real.
Thanks, I need this.
You are right but I think you need to work through the pain to heal so that you don't carry the effects of your wounds forward. It would be unfair to hurt the next person because you have not healed.
It's amazing that the truth comes out at the end. It always does. It took 14 yrs of me putting up with a person in the extended family becoming more and more abusive, until finally she imploded and her mask came off for all to see. My advice, hold on to your truth. Sit back, and let the universe work it's magic.
Sometimes it does take a long time
CORRECT Its Magical Really.
totally true. !!!
Thank you for this info. I needed this. Once I realised; "You cannot put a crown on a clown & expect a king", I walked away with my dignity & took my precious energy far, far away from this spiritual vampire!
TRUE WORDS SPOKEN HERE.
Forgive and release the bitterness for betterment of future!
Thank you Anoushka! Yes, no matter what, if you go and stay no contact , you will heal completely. Time heals all wounds. You will have to go through pain, extreme pain. I know, i went through that. It was absolutely horrible , the worst thing i've ever been through in my life. But I've been no contact for almost a year now and i'm feeling so much better now, I see so clearly as to the manipulation that was done to me now. It was criminal. I take part in the blame for allowing it but i tried so hard to do the right thing. I did all i could , and i've accepted that. I'm done with it now and i don't want anything to do with the narcissist now. I will never go back and deal with that ever again. So now i'm on my way to healing, i'm feeling alright but the narcissist is going to go on and deal with the toxicity that's in their f*cked up head with the new supply and for the rest of their life. I'm done, I'm out, i'm well rested and clear headed now. You can do it, you have to do it. No contact. And that means FOREVER!
Solid post. Thanks for sharing.
Got to stay cool, and stay true! Keep the faith!
You worded up everything so well and accurately. I went through the same.. moments of extreme pain at the same time realizing that these type of people actually walk around us like they're normal, lying through their teeth. YUCK! Is what I feel now. while I am doing a lot better in healing and will come out even stronger because of these experiences and revelations of NPD, I know they have to live their low life scummy existence every single moment of their lives. It must suck really bad to be them.
Run silent, run deep!
I like this Comment, i am happy that i came across this.
I got massive revenge. It felt good but in the end it's not worth the hassle. It just gives them fuel to say you're crazy to everyone. Best revenge is to ghost.
"You don't need to justify yourself to anyone else". AM
Thank you for a much needed reminder. I have been almost 11 months n.c. and I have walked away with my head held high. My ex is a psychopath and narcissist. I have had to listen to the book psychopath free about a dozen times to heal and I'm still only halfway through my healing. The best more precious gift I ever did for myself was to finally stand up for myself and shut out the toxic garbage that was in my life. And now I am reaping the benefits of not having all of the toxic garbage I once had. There was a moment in time I thought I'd never get out, and here I am, proof that you can get out of a toxic abusive relationship and become whole again. Through some of my counseling sessions i have written 2 letters to my ex but never sent. Please listen to her because she is right. Release the energy and toss it away or burn it, whatever you need to do to heal. But writing it down does something special rather than keeping it all in your mind. My silence is a reminder that everyday I grow stronger without my ex in my life and everyday I love myself just that much more.
🙏🦋
Put your energy into maintaining your dignity, integrity and sense of self. You'll shine like a beacon and the narc will be blinded and dumbstruck others will stop placing value on anything they say about you... Thank you, I needed this video...
TRUE BE YOURSELF.
Bitterness is like drinking poison , and expecting the other person to die
It's actually everything they didnt want , and it's their attempt to take your peace , contentment, and joy , in exchange for their fear, jealousy , anger, and hatred .
The more you react , the more in control , and successful they " feel "
It's all about how it makes them
" feel"
Once you understand how damaged they truly are . And as well in spite of that damage they attempt to control you , so you are responsible for fixing it , not them they will not acknowledge their false persona , their perfect , in their mind . It was after listening to , a lecture pointing out 20 traits , of a person with npd, and as I listened it was , it was a eye opener. At the end of the lecture, it was then pointed out , anyone exhibiting 15 or more of this traits was a seriously disordered person . Love , patience, understanding , tolerance doesn't conquer all .
So yes there is anger , dissappointment, frustration , confusion , sorrow, greif , pain
It's also like a tornadoe, going through, you can only clean , it up , and rebuild, wiser, and stronger for it Not easy , but your worth it
Thats true! Xx
I’m rebuilding after the TORNADOES. Apparently if there s one in your life you’re usually in a Narc tank.
The best advice! Thankyou. This is how i left my toxic girlfriend recently. I wasnt sure about it, however watching this Ive realised after so much blame, guilt and pain that is placed on you, will never change them no matter how much you give to the relationship. Walking away and ignoring these unhealthy people is the only way, otherwise you will be trapped in this endless cycle of total frustration, anger, hurt, anxiety and unhappiness. Its the hardest thing ive ever done. This video is so reassuring because now finally in my life i know deep down inside ive done something right and i take great pride in that.
As You Should. be very Proud. They may not Love You at this time. BUT they will Respect You. A lot of Men don't have the Balls to just Walk Away from there partner. You as a Man become a whole other POWER within yourself.And now you are able to leap tall buildings in single bound like SUPERMAN.
I had so much I wanted to say to him, so I would write out this long email and then I would delete it and go for a nap. This helped me so much!
Silence is the greatest weapon...it's karma in itself as it shows indifference to them even if your walking through hell at the moment because they don't know that. I have also ended all social media...as if I'm dead. I give Nothing.
I need the peace and quite to heal and work on me.
I am at peace after hearing you. silence is the best revenge 😌
*Thank you for this vid!!!*
I’ve been drowning in my own ‘need’ for vengeance/retribution to the point where I can’t well eat or sleep.
I can’t relax at all because I keep on thinking about just how BADLY they’ve done me, what all I’ve lost because of them, where I am now because of all of it, and that the wrong person is suffering here. I feel so damn _used and thrown away._
But your vids are helping me see the situation for what it is, see the big picture. It’s very validating and putting this raw _outrage_ into perspective for me.
I really needed this today.
Bless. ❤️🌻💝🌺🤗
Yes true. Good advice! When your out be thankful, work on healing, and let the natural consequences and God deal with them, believe me they will not get out of this life without God's wrath.
Thank you for this I’m a shadow of my former self ...... I’m here because I don’t know what to do next .... I’ve blocked mine & trying not to think of him .... this is one of the hardest things I’ve had to go through
I’m going thru this right now too babe
How are you doing now?
You will survive and seeing the guy for what he really is will make you thankful you got out! some are not so lucky to escape this evil prison!!
Same its been a year and half. Triggers... Depending on what you went through they need accountability.
It's a healing process that's for sure, but please stay focused and silent. Keep pushing forward and time will heal, trust the process, heal yourself and you will understand and be grateful things didnt work out, the truth prevails and you will begin to see and understand everything for what it really was and you will eventually be ok with it once you heal, it wont bother you anymore, just focus on you and Stay the course.
I hope u get better and me too x
Living well is the best revenge. Stop letting the narc live rent free in your head and move ahead with living the best life you possibly can
I even made the comment to my ex once "who needs enemies when they have a partner who does that " and it is so true. They are Gremlins and you will literally feel that way. Rationalisation is impossible because that is not what they are interested in. Escape
I wish i knew about this video 7 years ago
I remember i wrote a letter to my ex.. explaining to him how i really feel..instead he gave it to other ppl to read n trust me i was made a laughing stock out of it.
I now open my eyes n am ready to let go of someone who has absolutely nothing for me. Im thankful i found your videos.. ur bringing me 1 step closer to my goals❤
Thank you for your wisdom.
Concentrating on one’s healing and recovery is our job! With the abuser out of our lives, we regain a sense of peace and calm.
No matter what else I do, remaining true to myself is my focus. My “revenge” is placing my attention on me and my well-being!
Blessings!
God bless you for helping some of us who have never had a voice 🙏
The best revenge I got was becoming very happy and prosperous without the narcissists in my life. They've continued to sow their own seeds of self-destruction .
I love your tough love approach, it hits the soul a little harder and makes me proud of my strength. 2 months and counting of stone cold silence and moving on with my life!....
Just in time. You have no idea how you saved my life today and for that I will, forever be thankful, Anoushka! ❣
You are my #1 support. This topic hit home. After being tossed into the narcissist drama I decided that complete silence is my path to healing. I never had revenge on my list. I know he wanted to make me the crazy person to others. My journey in the last 3 years has been to recover from the emotional abuse. I can write a book on this mess. He continues to use any means to contact me. I don’t need to know how he is nor does he need to know my business. I refuse to give him any second of my time. He walked out accusing me of things and twisted the truth. Thank you, this is my go to video.
I went through this. The only thing i can say is it passes. I'm sorry for you. They hurt you. What Rita said below. They wake up daily feeling empty and jump into an action discharge mode of functioning to rid that empty feeling they feel when their not distracted. They want distraction but don't always get supply during covid. Silence is self preservation.
Your words literally saved me today. This video was exactly what I needed to watch in my dark moment. My healing is definitely not linear. Some days are tougher than others. You helped me to feel better again. I have gone no contact and it has been vital to my healing journey. But I still do get angry
Thank you, I needed this at this moment. After near 40 years the fork idea sounds good. Love your free life 🥰
Fork really made me laugh. 40 years for me as well.
I love this woman. Everything she says in her videos is spot on. Every single one is like she's answering my questions. Truly amazing.
I had to come to the realization that even though it was family, it doesn’t matter because they aren’t important to my well being because of the fact they had to go that far to hurt you.
BLESSED words to remember! This approach has a lot truth that can also be used by the narc. IF not applied properly!
Love your approach & view !!! Thank You!!
Thank you Anushka for your help and support today. Thank God for your time.
2 yrs ago I was literally plotting revenge to the point of buying zip ties, finding a secluded location, and bought a stun gun to obviously get them under control. I was planning on giving back the pain and sabotage they played on me (I was a REAL nightmare to people when under the spell). Then one day it hit me.... This is what they want! Not the torture because my silence is the torture. They knew I was mean and about that "life" when I was being tricked. Now they're stuck feeling their shame without the source (me). They have emotions, they have toxic shame, and hate... Now I don't even think about them? It's crazy and now I'm back to the nicest, happiest person I know... Sorry for all the details and thanks for the content. God Bless
I looked at the situation as the film ‘war games’ ... no matter who launched the nuclear missile first (USA, UK, Russia, Asia, India etc) - the computer eventually understood nobody wins. In a narcissistic situation - WE will never win since they are damaged.
That’s right 👏
Sometimes loosing is winning.☺
So true, you have leave them behind and move on
@@andreamagyar7776 exactly spot on.
Yeah! They Won with The Fighting BUT .....LOST The PRIZE!!!! 🤫🤐🛀🧖🤸💃👩🎓 FINALLY!
Thank you 🙏 his new supply contacted me after she left him to find out what happened to me. We chatted. I’ve been no contact for 2 years now but I’ve seen him in court and he was convicted. Since speaking to her I have more anger and rage after hearing his lies. I wanted to send all of his friends my evidence, but you are right, none of them have ever checked on me since I got out, so why would they believe me anyway. Yes silence is my power, you are correct, he isn’t well. I’m happy and healing. Sometimes it just comes back and consumes me x
This reminds me of the song Named "Reminds Me," A woman holds her tongue knowing silence will speak for her.
Thank you for your words of wisdom. Its better to leave and go no contact then being stuck in a rabbithole. I had the fortune to avoid unecessary disapointment, but I aknowledge the pain that people go through. Dont give up on your dreams!
Took me years of going back and forth to realize that silence is the best way to get my revenge. Thanks for what you do. Wish I had this information years ago.
The best revenge on a narcissist is removing yourself out of their life forever...
Thank you for making this video. I've bee been suffering in silence for over 24 years. Finally I'm free from this toxic retch of the earth.
Over three years of no contact. To best describe this, if they want to play ping pong with you, it’s simple don’t even attempt to hit the ball back. There is no game then. It is amazing how much better my life has become. Toxic family members think that I have an obligation to communicate with them because of my birth in the family. This premise does not exist in my reality! Peace and love.
Currently moving on from my ex narc. You're videos have been so helpful to my healing. Thank you so much and more power to you!
I badly needed to hear this. Thank you... Glad that I saw this vid, I'm crying
Im still struggling. I broke up with the Narc in mid june of 2020. He gave me the hpv virus and when I found this out I reached out to him, mainly to vent. I had gone 4 months no contact prior to me doing this. I feel as if I have started over again with the no contact. I am now at no contact for one month. I am still so angry and upset with myself mostly for allowing this to happen. I needed to hear this again and just STAY AWAY.
I actually spoke to the narc to find out that he is dating someone new and that upset me. I need to remember like you said -- IT DOESNT MATTER. STAY AWAY.
thanks for the reminder I needed this
Contracting hpv is significan and next time maybe 🤔 HIV.- Stay Clear Away!! - They’re not health conscious or even care about their health. They do not care about other people’s health and their impact.
When they ghost U, take them back if they return . Make them believe that you have forgiven them then...leave them without an explanation when they least expected. If u leave them immediately, it won't hit hard because it is what they expected.
Just wow .... thank you a lot mam
Feeling quite desperate for help right now so I’m reaching out to videos for inspiration to help me get a goal. I’m in such an awful place with my ex narc I can’t understand how I even got here :( thanks for the video ❤️
Learn the lesson from it, be gentle with yourself on day @ a time dont even try to understand how it happened thats just the ego. You will become stronger for it, people will come and go. ❤🙏
Add me to the group of survivors. Keep your head up and never forget that it had nothing to do with you or what you did/didn’t do-- it had everything to do with your N-ex...
Trust in God and reinvest all of the love that you had for them in yourself! Someday, we will find that wonderful person (and unconditional love) that we deserve :)
I loved this advice. So essential to concentrate on oneself and take the energy back, take the attention back, and pour it into your own life now.
In the beginning I had No choice but to blindly believe in what Anoushka explains in this video and in the comments from viewers that had already taken the path. Sticking to this plan 100% has helped me to recover and time has unfolded the whats and whys. This is the ONLY way to get healed. Focus on your life, forget everything else.
This has helped me so much thank you Anoushka yes doing my best to remain silent regarding the narcissist I know it’s to true I don’t want that bad energy around and putting my good energy back out there and wasting my time with unnecessary drama so yes I am healing day by day it’s just taking time but am getting there it’s great when toxic people are not around!
Thank you. I’ve been silent, and low and behold here she comes calling. I haven’t said a word or text. Full of different emotions right now but no contact what so ever.
Yes, one of the toughest lessons to learn is that whatever you say to them it is used against you. Even if it is just on the basic level of giving supply because they have affected you. Completely agree, although difficult to do, best to say absolutely nothing. And that obviously speaks very much for itself.
I really love your encouragement/approached. You make me feel stronger listening to your video. Thank you so much for sharing this video I can resonate from what you have said. I am hurting these time but as I listen to all your advice I am stronger I can get through this.
This is probably one of your best video's! I was with a narc for 13 yrs (didn't know what narcissism was at the time) until after I broke it off & started researching! I can honestly say that I was never tempted to seek revenge because the way I viewed it, seeking revenge would make me no better than him; and I wasn't about to let him think that I still cared enough to want revenge! For those of you that have walked away, for your own good keep moving forward & never, ever look back!
This video is the best. Anoushka you speak the truth! Brilliant!
This is very helpful. I replayed parts of it multiple times to remind myself to move forward in a healthy manner.
Thank you! I finally accepted the truth about trying to confront my mother’s manipulations , she will twist the truth against me and she gets the double satisfaction on her successful lies , controlling sickness, so I am starting on the letter number one and to a lot more of narcs !!!
I made the mistake of attempting the friendship thing afterwards. HUGE mistake. The lies and manipulation just continue. It's truly unbelievable. My narc is the most horrid human I have ever met in my life. Destroying my life just wasn't enough. He MUST continue to lie and use. I really thought being "friends" would be different. The shock of his abhorrent behavior still leaves me speechless, unable to sleep, eat, conduct normal life things, and I just don't know how to make these awful feelings cease, and I see them devouring me.
That was his goal. You showed him kindness and he hated you for it and punished with more abuse. Don’t ever let someone make you feel bad for being a compassionate, loving human being. When you heal, you will find a healthy adult male who will value those things in you. Find a good therapist who can help you deal with your hurt and betrayal. I was married to a narcissist for 18 years. You can survive this...because I did.
Peace and blessings to you dear one.
@@knowledgeseeker2776 Thank you for your kind words. ❤
You are welcome. 🙏🏽
My ex just tried to friend zone triangulate me with her new boyfriend. I shut it down immediately, gave her the option of “it’s either me or him”, no in-between. She ghosted me with no response, therefore I blocked her number permanently. These people are disordered scumbags only in it for themselves and absolutely cannot see the other person’s perspective. They are dangerous to anyone’s emotional well-being.
Feel them and then let them go, actually allow yourself to feel, I experienced that bitter pain you speak of as well. Promise you It’ll pass just don’t get stuck in It snd become bitter like the rest of people who hold onto their trauma and pain. Feel It let It go, get better!
Don't give them anything. They won't change . Be satisfied that you don't have to listen to their B.S.. The sound of my ex's voice is enough to cause an anxiety attack. Give yourself time. Only time between your ex and new better happier experiences will heal your heart. Plus I know that lack of information is the worst punishment in my case. Peace.
Thank you! I'm moving forward for my own destiny.
Thank you so much for this video. When I feel angry, when I feel like the Narcissist committed a crime against me which I cannot get justice for, I'll remember your words. I won't stoop to his level. Positivity and care for myself is the way forward. No more drama. ❤️
Thank you for such a wonderful video.. I'm dealing with a narc neighbor.. she has tried to destroy my life .. mostly through smearing terrible lies about me .. she doesn't even know me on a personal level .. it's been really difficult .. your words and knowledge have helped me so much!!
Please be careful.
Me: I want space because Im feeling sick.
Ex: I want permanent space.
Me: sure. I blocked and did just that.
Ex: narcissistic injury and hovered like crazy.
Me: you get what you asked for 👍🏼
❤💯
This is gold! You Tube recommended me your videos probably because I watch a lot of stuff about narcissism by dr. Ramani, Narc daily, and others but this is gold because I was wrestling with this though of exactly sticking fork or/and explaining anxiously but you just got to me, to my bones about it and instantly the light bulb in my head popped and those intense ideas and ruminating STOPPED! Thank you.
Thanks for sharing and encouraging messages.
I don’t have it in me anymore to talk to her. The resentment is too much and I don’t have the strength to put on a smile and keep going. Because Every time I try , she finds a way to bring me down and use my words against me. Her words are poison and she leaves me second guessing myself constantly. She’s discarded me for over 12 months. I can’t find the strength to leave. I don’t want to leave my children. For the men out there that are in a narcissistic relationship. You are good enough , you are a good person. And you deserve better. Stay strong.
I really love your approached/ your advice. It is very encouraging and it makes me feel stronger listening to your video I learned so much from it. I was really hurt from this person I feel so low and humiliated when I try my very best to show him that I care so much about him but he took me for granted. As li listen to what you said the only revenge I could give him is to stay silent focus on myself and let it go! Thank you for sharing this video. I love it! I will be listening to it on and on to make me feel better of myself.
Thanks so much darling! i zstudy alot about how to get away from narc people. But they way you explain it give me hope and let me feel relax again it give me my peace back i feel. I deal with a narc mother that play games with the narc neighbors to drive me crazy! only because i want to be a artist/ expresionist. But after listening toyou i feel you helped me alot by using the right vibe :D anyway Much respect and keep it up lady :) i feel you inspire alot :D One love !!!
After a month of my silence, I started getting VMs of just long sad sighs. 😏 Then occasional cards in the mail with little notes like “penny for your thoughts.” He couldn’t believe I was GONE.
All I can say is wow! You blow my mind every single video. Thank you.
REVENGE is a dangerous game!! It tends to boomerang. God said, vengeance is mine! He needs no help. If actions warrant, Karma will deliver justice. Disappointment is not a crime. Live on and let live!!