@@Þűṣ̌I’m guessing they both have their benefits, especially if both parents are working!! Mondays, Daddy is probably stressed going back to work to start the week, so he gets to chill the rest of the day and do stuff for himself. Fridays, Mommy has had a long week of work, and after getting out of work on Friday she gets to enjoy the start of her weekend with some me time!
I cannot tell you how much i love your channel. My son is 22 and has down syndrome and is non-verbal. My husband and i went 13 years with no date nights or free nights. When we finally hired an aide, it was the best thing ever! Now, i have even gone back to school and am working on my master's degree. Letting go of that guilty feeling that i should devote everything in me to motherhood was good for all of us!
I have several disabled kids and one like your son ❤ we've never had free time. It's been 10 years but we are happy regardless. We have our own me time to make up for it.
I am 43 and I am finally finishing my psychology degree now that my kids are all grown and officially out of the house It's me time! Good for you You're doing amazing.
This is literally how Saturdays became "Dadderdays" in my house. I have a part time job for a couple hours early in the morning and then I just started picking up errands and before you know it I've got the rest of the day until bedtime.
Yep. Dadderdays and mumday. Dad has Saturday all to himself and mom has Sunday. We also both get 30 min to an hour everyday to ourselves. It makes everything run so much smoother
Reading this makes me happy. I knew people here understand that dads need dad day like moms need momsday, but like. Dadderday? Amazing. Awesome. Excellence. SATURDAYS ARE FOR THE BBOOYYSS energy. Hope you and yours have many amazing weekends
My mom had a bath most nights and I wasn’t aloud to bug her but I was aloud to sit outside the door and check in every 10 mins or so. I could say “you ok mama” and she would just reply with “yes my love” I wasn’t aloud to talk more than that unless I was really struggling. But usually just knowing she was ok was enough. I’d sit there with my headphones in watching a movie. I was very happy when she started taking time out of the house but then I would wait up for her no matter what. I just love my mama.
OMG! I’m 76, no children, and totally hooked on your videos. From my friends when they had babies/toddlers and now grandkids. I know you are right on target. Love the change in SIL and the MIL is the perfect compilation of so many women I’ve known! Thank you.
Something that helps me with mom guilt is telling myself that my husband is a parent too! He loves our kids and wants to spend time with them, so I don’t always need to be around. He doesn’t feel guilty when he gets to go and do what he likes, so why should I? I deserve to do child-free things I enjoy just as much as he does.
Sounds like my second husband and me!... even when we went through the divorce we had everything figured out so we could help each other. We are still friends and our child is very well adjusted because we are both always here for them. When you grow apart (it does happen), but still care about each other it's not difficult to keep things friendly. I'm guessing it's how some couples are able to do that shared parenting even after the divorce is finalized.
Let's also not forget that this allows your child to have quality time with your partner. You are giving them time and space to connect and bond. No guilt!
My mom did this on Sundays, she'd be so tired from work and needed a whole day to recover, long hospital shifts and all. We didnt mind, dad would take us to church and then lunch, sometimes to walmart to play games while he grocery shopped. We'd get back in the afternoon and dad'd make dinner while us kids did our own thing.
My husband and I do a “night off” for each of us almost every week. When it’s your night off, you aren’t responsible for feeding or taking care of anyone. What’s important also to keep in mind is that this gives the kids time with the other parent, which is so important!! It’s a win-win for everyone.
We would call them “mommy daughter night” and “daddy daughter night” so our daughter didn’t think she was so exhausting that we needed a “night off” from her, but with each other, call them out “night off”
I love that! I keep telling my sister the first person she needs to care about is herself, if she's not well neither are my nieces❤ It's like they say on the airplanes, put on your own oxygen mask before helping others, you can't help others when you're unconcious👏🏾
This extends to caregivers: I’m the soul caregiver for my elderly mom and I need time to myself to survive. There is nothing to feel guilty about; your mental health and physical wellbeing matter just as much 💕
I took care of my mom for 12 yrs after my dad passed and she had a stroke month later. And worked full time, took her wherever she needed - it was the hardest thing I ever did - she's passed; I'm not glad she's gone, but that is over. I still have "trauma" from that; the amount of stress ...
I love that she says her husband is "on duty" when shes out. It seems like shes the primary caretaker, but she doesnt say hes babysitting, hes just doing his job(aka parenting his kids)
We do this in my family too, and it is GREAT! My husband volunteers at our local volunteer firehouse. Any time he goes for a clean-up or an event, my kids go with him. They get to hang out with other kids, do some community service, and I get the house all to myself to just sit and read in peace and quiet! I'm not one who likes to go out, I'm a big homebody, so it's heaven for me! ❤
If you don’t carve out time for yourself, you can’t give your best to others. Best advice I ever got from my grandmother. She had 11 kids. My grandfather was a great supporter of this, and the kids all understood she needed “her time”.
So I’m childfree, but I think I’d like to add another perspective here…… when I got my licence, my mum was so happy she ran off and booked flying lessons, because I didn’t have to rely on her for transport anymore she thought she could finally do what she wanted. The realisation that she had put off living her life to raise me was truely heartbreaking. So mama’s, as far as I’m concerned, let the dads actually do some parenting, for more than one day a week, and go feed your soul! So your children don’t look back and feel guilt for holding you back!
I discovered after becoming a new mom I needed an active hobby for my mental health and picked up playing volleyball again. Just had my 4th child and still play every season one night a week. So good for me and everyone else❤
I haven't started this yet, but have been talking to my partner about it. We have a toddler, he has 3 older kids and I'm pregnant. I take care of absolutely everything, and I told him that I will be taking one of his days off as a me day, and he's really open to it.
Well said. Having a break and making sure they are safe with someone during that break is NOT neglect. I know people my age whose parents barely interacted with them or taught them the things they need, even if they were around the house a lot. I've never heard a kid say, "I feel neglected when my mom occasionally goes to a class once a week for a couple of hours while our dad watches us." But I do hear them say they don't like it when their parents always told them to shut up and go play video games or just leave them alone any time they were asked to play with them, make the older siblings raise the younger ones, or make their kids raise themselves by not teaching them anything. Being in the same building as them all the time aside from school doesn't mean they're attentive, and being outside the house occasionally for a break does not mean they're neglectful. Taking a break is not only good for the parents, but it's good for the kids too, because the parents end up in a better and more relaxed mood. A lot of parents might claim to be "better" parents because they don't give themselves breaks, but if you asked their kids, they'd probably give a very different answer.
I would even argue that it's not only NOT neglect, but the opposite of neglect, or at least actively preventing neglect. I was raised with a mom who never really gave herself time for herself. That lead to her later on in our teen years just taking time to herself in unhealthy ways (straight up ignoring us while drinking and loudly scrolling on her phone through random hours of the day, sometimes at 2 or 3pm, and sometimes at 1 or 2am on school nights). By giving yourself dedicated me time, you give yourself time to relax, allow yourself to live your life, and generally grounds you for the week ahead giving you a better ability to focus on your kids and take care of them.
I wish my own mom had had the chance for a mom day. She was single most of time and we barely stayed afloat financially so she was always tired and on edge. She may have been calmer and in a better head space if so. But also affording food and rent comes first so i get it. I hope more moms get the chance to have a day to themselves
Your mom was awesome. I grew up dirt poor, but I knew she loved me despite not being around much. Food on the table is non-negotiable. I hope your mom is taking all the time she wants for herself now.
I don't have kids, I don't intend to have kids, but watching your videos helps me put into perspective how to be a better aunt, and how better I can support my brother's family.
We love healthy habits that your kids will see and emulate later in life! We also love a parent who has the foresight to know that a stressed, anxious, emotionally suffocated person may be a less effective parent and this weekly act of self care is soooooo good for preventing that burnout
My sister has her 'Girls Night'. My brother-in-law has his 'Night with the Boys.' Definitely working out for the whole family. Both are amazing parents.
My ex had our daughter every night from after dinner till bed, then exclusively from Friday night till Sunday night. Gave him time with her to relax after work and I had time for homework with my older son and to make dinner. Then the weekends were mine with my son. Even if I was home he handled everything. This worked for us until he changed jobs. He missed his time with he so much then. ❤ She is 21 now and I love their relationship. He has always been a good dad.
Almost! ♥ After a lifetime of being someone's daughter, sister, wife, mother, I had a wonderful fortnight, doing (don't laugh) jury service! For two lovely weeks, I was a freestanding person, not defined by my relationship to anyone else - I was meeee! It was lovely. ☺
Moms definitely need alone time. I was in Denver to visit Son, DIL and baby Granddaughter. We had ordered Chinese food for pickup. I asked DIL if she was picking it up. She got a look and quickly said she wanted to go alone and just sit and wait for a couple minutes. I laughed and told her I COMPLETELY understood. I just wanted to make sure she took my credit card. ❤️ MILs would do well to remember how they honestly felt when they were at that stage.
This is your reminder that being a SAHM is a job. You are a full-time caregiver. If someone else gets paid for what you're doing, that's work. And time off from work is super important. You are not a slave to your household. You are a person who deserves time off. Obviously, this is a high hour job, but it is a job. And when you start treating it that way, it's amazing how the guilt goes away.
As a nurse i have 100000 fears about having a child but it is what i always dreamed of....being a mom. Your videos help alot to process theae fears. Thank you. ❤
My situation is not typical and very difficult. And me time is literally a distant memory. I look at mommas that take days like this with such envy, but also aspire to be them. And I’m happy moms can be happy.
I hope one day soon your situation changes so that you can do this too or something that helps you center and fill your cup! Idk your situation but I was in a similar place for years and it's been 1 year since it changed. It's profoundly good for all, and I can't wait for you to have that too!❤❤
@@AlinaKat3 I feel that in my soul ❤️❤️ sometimes happiness feels unattainable. (Not that I don’t have happy moments. I mean just life overall) I truly do hope life changes and circumstances get better for you. You deserve happiness ❤️ don’t let life, or people in it, let you for get that
I dont have anyone to take care of the babies for mama time 😔 thankfully bed time is 7pm so I cook and read and have evenings to myself 🥰 take whatever time you can, not everyones situation looks the same ❤
I could never get my kids to bed that early. Probably because we didn't have to get up super early. I was always so jealous of moms that did, cause, like you said, then "me" time starts. I've unfortunately stayed up way too late sometimes because I didn't want to waste the peace and quiet. Always regret it the next day lol.
Yes! My mom would call it "calm down time" before bed. We didn't have to sleep, but it was time for a quiet screen free activity in our room before sleep. So puzzles, coloring, blocks, dolls, cars on their mat, any fun little thing we had. It let her start her evening and get ready to relax and had us quieting down for bed.
@@rs-mt6kl my mom did the same! I always read in my room and kept my younger siblings in check so she could wind down for the night. I've adopted this routine into my life now 🥰
Personally, I'd rather not have kids ever, but seeing your channel helps so much!! Cause my cousin wants to have kids some time in the far future and I wanna be there for their kid and be helpful to my cousin too. (It also makes me feel like I am learning to be more empathetic with parents and letting go of some of that fear that is "fucking up" a kid cause you did wrong - a big reason for me for not wanting to have kids-
I have mama monday. I clean Saturday I cook sunday. Monday and Friday evening those are my days. Dont talk to me, have my house cleaned, Im going in my room. && grabbing my wine and cheese and my book
My kids are al.ost grown, and I seriously froze in mom guilt yesterday b/c I took about an hour on the way to get groceries & browsed a consignment store....and felt guilty about buying some things just for me. This mom guilt has been killing me for damned near 20 years.
I just found you a few days ago. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!! There are so many things that hit me. Your calm peaceful voice, makes me cry happiness. I have mama guilt everyday nonstop. I just love u.
Family makes us feel bad for needing me time, despite doctors, nurses and therapists telling us to do it and that it's incredibly important. But the men tend to think you don't deserve it.
I haven't been able to do what I want in 4 years. Imagine every week😅I'm planning on getting a baby sitter next week and taking myself shopping and out to eat. All by myself. And just thinking about it makes me feel weird. I was trying to figure out how to plan my day and can't even think of what to do because the last 5+ years have been about other people and not myself at all. I don't even know who I am anymore.
When my teens were toddlers, I used to work a few hours in the evenings. My work was about a 20 min drive through 3 smallish towns to get home. If I got off just a wee bit early I would be getting home right at bedtime. And of course bedtime with toddlers is a nightmare. At least for me because I gave in to every request for another round of kisses and hugs etc. Their dad got it done pretty easily. Anyways, I started taking the long way home. I learned every back road between there and home. Sometimes I'd go around in the country in circles just listening to the radio. That and taking an hour at the grocery store when I could have done it in 20 min. was my "me" time for awhile😂
I feel the same way, it's been about 4 years for me too! I would like to get a babysitter too but tbh I have heard some horror stories.. and my son is special needs so not sure if they could handle him 🥲🥲🥲 it's so difficult being a mom
@@AlinaKat3 You might be able to do a Mom's Helper situation. They babysit while you go back to your room & do whatever you want. Maybe even take a nice hot bath once you're more sure they can handle things. There's also charities & such that will provide some respite care so you get a break & have good training.
It's so surreal to see parents feel so guilty for "neglecting their child" when just doing simple things (like taking a day for themself) while my own parents would leave me home alone with no notice, leave the house to go out when I asked them not to, and let me live in filth, all while feeling little to no guilt for it.
I had to say that to myself when I started attending barbershop rehearsals every Tuesday night and when I’d go out of town for conventions and I no longer feel like I’m abandoning my family. Mommas DO WHATS BEST FOR YOU!!! Take that weekly class, take that one day a week for you even if it’s a few hours after work, it does wonders for your mental health
This is my new mantra that I'm going to repeat every day. Whats good for mama is good for everyone. Being a new mom is not easy! But its rewarding for sure
Not a mom but an offspring opinion: humans are social beings and probably historically raise offspring in communities of people. Raising a child is biologically not a 1 person job, go take that mom day off
You have no idea how much I needed this video. Im a disabled sahm and until literally yesterday my daughter was with me all day everyday but due to her being 3.5 now and we as her parents think she needs time with other kids. So anyway she started prek at a school 5 mins away from home and the mom guilt about having her at school now instead of with me 24/7. But yesterday I realized that everyone loves this I get to rest and take care of myself while still cooking and cleaning the home, and she's at school learning with kids her age and when she comes home I have more energy and patience with her because I took time to rest a bit while she was at school ❤
Wow you’re such a good friend to yourself I love it ❤😂 I forget your playing both yourself and your friend, makes me want someone like this in my life too.
As a daughter I notice how burnt out my mom gets going to work 6 days a week 10 hours a day and still comes home and does everything for us that a mom does. I love my mom so much ❤❤
My husband gives me a weekend morning all to myself. He watches our toddler while I am able to work on a hobby or whatever else I want. This helps me not feel overworked the rest of the week. Definitely work with your SO. Mamas need self care time too.
I love my mummy time, making sure I’m taking care of. Myself means I’m in a better space of mind to make better decisions and I’m more patient with my beautiful toddler. My first became a new mum. I would feel guilty for needing time away from him, which is really quite silly, but that’s mum Gilt for you especially being a solo mum. It’s twice as important as I’m the one carrying all the weight and responsibility.❤ love your content
I have to go to therapy 2x every week so I can process my past trauma, and so my depression and anxiety don't end up ruining my life and my family. Choose guilt over stress every time, it might save your life like it saved mine.
Yes, yes, yes .By taking breaks when needed you can continue to be strong for yourself and your family. It's so much better to take a day off than to constantly be tired. Plus, you're less likely to lash out at your child.
my mom totally needed this growing up:( she did almost all the raising the kids part of parenting. minus the harsh punishments. that's where 'ol pops comes into play :^)
YES! THIS! It's definitely easier when your child(ren) is past needing you for sustenance. Finally, after 8 years of Motherhood I DO take care of myself. I am a MUCH better mom because of it!
When my kids are at school & i don't have any obligations I either binge watch reality TV while eating junk food on the couch or go out with a friend. It is SO IMPORTANT to keep YOUR soul happy & your cup full. Otherwise you have nothing to GIVE!
I so so wish that my mom had been able to do this. It probably would’ve reduced so many of her problems that she ended up taking out on us kids. She’s getting better now that she _can_ do this, as I’m older now, but still so many headaches and traumas could’ve been prevented.
I get every monday and friday eveing and daddy gets every saturday and sunday morning ❤❤ makes so much of a difference ! Even after a few months of having pur second child our days will go back. Creates such a balanced feeling rather than overwhelming stress all the time ❤❤❤
I have no kids but I love how encouraging and kind your channel is.
🫶🏻
Same ! I love the way she talks. Great energy 😊
I have no kids either nor do I plan to.
Same ❤
Lol same❤
fr!! makes me hopeful that more families will be happy and loving
Heck yeah! Everyone should have this! We’ve mama fridays and daddy mondays
That kinda blah cus Mondays suck and Fridays are the best
@@Þűṣ̌I love Mondays, Fridays suck for me
@@Þűṣ̌Mondays are better cause no one goes out on Mondays
@@Þűṣ̌I’m guessing they both have their benefits, especially if both parents are working!! Mondays, Daddy is probably stressed going back to work to start the week, so he gets to chill the rest of the day and do stuff for himself. Fridays, Mommy has had a long week of work, and after getting out of work on Friday she gets to enjoy the start of her weekend with some me time!
Yeah unfortunately not everyone has those resources.
I cannot tell you how much i love your channel. My son is 22 and has down syndrome and is non-verbal. My husband and i went 13 years with no date nights or free nights. When we finally hired an aide, it was the best thing ever! Now, i have even gone back to school and am working on my master's degree. Letting go of that guilty feeling that i should devote everything in me to motherhood was good for all of us!
I have several disabled kids and one like your son ❤ we've never had free time. It's been 10 years but we are happy regardless. We have our own me time to make up for it.
I love this so much for you. I wish you so much joy ❤❤
I hope that you guys and your son are all good, you guys are doing great :)
Omg you're back in school when your child is 22, you're my hero and make me have so much more hope today!
I am 43 and I am finally finishing my psychology degree now that my kids are all grown and officially out of the house It's me time! Good for you You're doing amazing.
Omg, I’m a mom of 5 and have literally JUST taken up time to myself. It’s been 20 yrs. 😂
OMG GOOD JOB
I'm so happy for you!!
Ongsquad?!?!
This is literally how Saturdays became "Dadderdays" in my house. I have a part time job for a couple hours early in the morning and then I just started picking up errands and before you know it I've got the rest of the day until bedtime.
Yep. Dadderdays and mumday. Dad has Saturday all to himself and mom has Sunday. We also both get 30 min to an hour everyday to ourselves. It makes everything run so much smoother
Reading this makes me happy. I knew people here understand that dads need dad day like moms need momsday, but like. Dadderday? Amazing. Awesome. Excellence. SATURDAYS ARE FOR THE BBOOYYSS energy. Hope you and yours have many amazing weekends
My mom had a bath most nights and I wasn’t aloud to bug her but I was aloud to sit outside the door and check in every 10 mins or so. I could say “you ok mama” and she would just reply with “yes my love” I wasn’t aloud to talk more than that unless I was really struggling. But usually just knowing she was ok was enough. I’d sit there with my headphones in watching a movie.
I was very happy when she started taking time out of the house but then I would wait up for her no matter what. I just love my mama.
this is so cute stop 😭
@cloudyskye13 Right, this person is so precious 😢
Awww!
You were blessed...❤
So adorable
"When the Queen is happy, there's peace in the Kingdom '...that plaque was on the windowsill in the kitchen for years. True.
OMG! I’m 76, no children, and totally hooked on your videos. From my friends when they had babies/toddlers and now grandkids. I know you are right on target. Love the change in SIL and the MIL is the perfect compilation of so many women I’ve known! Thank you.
Something that helps me with mom guilt is telling myself that my husband is a parent too! He loves our kids and wants to spend time with them, so I don’t always need to be around. He doesn’t feel guilty when he gets to go and do what he likes, so why should I? I deserve to do child-free things I enjoy just as much as he does.
Sounds like my second husband and me!... even when we went through the divorce we had everything figured out so we could help each other. We are still friends and our child is very well adjusted because we are both always here for them. When you grow apart (it does happen), but still care about each other it's not difficult to keep things friendly. I'm guessing it's how some couples are able to do that shared parenting even after the divorce is finalized.
Let's also not forget that this allows your child to have quality time with your partner. You are giving them time and space to connect and bond. No guilt!
An excellent point, it takes 2 parents to raise a child in a home where they feel safe and loved, bonding time is important for both of them
My mom did this on Sundays, she'd be so tired from work and needed a whole day to recover, long hospital shifts and all. We didnt mind, dad would take us to church and then lunch, sometimes to walmart to play games while he grocery shopped. We'd get back in the afternoon and dad'd make dinner while us kids did our own thing.
My husband and I do a “night off” for each of us almost every week. When it’s your night off, you aren’t responsible for feeding or taking care of anyone.
What’s important also to keep in mind is that this gives the kids time with the other parent, which is so important!! It’s a win-win for everyone.
We would call them “mommy daughter night” and “daddy daughter night” so our daughter didn’t think she was so exhausting that we needed a “night off” from her, but with each other, call them out “night off”
I love that! I keep telling my sister the first person she needs to care about is herself, if she's not well neither are my nieces❤
It's like they say on the airplanes, put on your own oxygen mask before helping others, you can't help others when you're unconcious👏🏾
This extends to caregivers: I’m the soul caregiver for my elderly mom and I need time to myself to survive. There is nothing to feel guilty about; your mental health and physical wellbeing matter just as much 💕
"Soul caregiver," in this context, is the best typo ever because you're not wrong.
@@TocYounger You’re too sweet, thank you for the kind words 💕
I took care of my mom and dad till they died and it was tiring and I did it with my three kids so it was pretty hard. Everyone should get a break
I took care of my mom for 12 yrs after my dad passed and she had a stroke month later. And worked full time, took her wherever she needed - it was the hardest thing I ever did - she's passed; I'm not glad she's gone, but that is over. I still have "trauma" from that; the amount of stress ...
I don’t have a kid, but I enjoy watching these because I feel like this channel is preparing me for when I do have one 😅
My dad always quotes Chicago, "When you're good to momma, momma's good to you!" 😂
I love that she says her husband is "on duty" when shes out. It seems like shes the primary caretaker, but she doesnt say hes babysitting, hes just doing his job(aka parenting his kids)
We do this in my family too, and it is GREAT! My husband volunteers at our local volunteer firehouse. Any time he goes for a clean-up or an event, my kids go with him. They get to hang out with other kids, do some community service, and I get the house all to myself to just sit and read in peace and quiet! I'm not one who likes to go out, I'm a big homebody, so it's heaven for me! ❤
If you don’t carve out time for yourself, you can’t give your best to others.
Best advice I ever got from my grandmother. She had 11 kids. My grandfather was a great supporter of this, and the kids all understood she needed “her time”.
So I’m childfree, but I think I’d like to add another perspective here…… when I got my licence, my mum was so happy she ran off and booked flying lessons, because I didn’t have to rely on her for transport anymore she thought she could finally do what she wanted. The realisation that she had put off living her life to raise me was truely heartbreaking. So mama’s, as far as I’m concerned, let the dads actually do some parenting, for more than one day a week, and go feed your soul! So your children don’t look back and feel guilt for holding you back!
I discovered after becoming a new mom I needed an active hobby for my mental health and picked up playing volleyball again. Just had my 4th child and still play every season one night a week. So good for me and everyone else❤
I haven't started this yet, but have been talking to my partner about it. We have a toddler, he has 3 older kids and I'm pregnant. I take care of absolutely everything, and I told him that I will be taking one of his days off as a me day, and he's really open to it.
Well said. Having a break and making sure they are safe with someone during that break is NOT neglect. I know people my age whose parents barely interacted with them or taught them the things they need, even if they were around the house a lot. I've never heard a kid say, "I feel neglected when my mom occasionally goes to a class once a week for a couple of hours while our dad watches us." But I do hear them say they don't like it when their parents always told them to shut up and go play video games or just leave them alone any time they were asked to play with them, make the older siblings raise the younger ones, or make their kids raise themselves by not teaching them anything. Being in the same building as them all the time aside from school doesn't mean they're attentive, and being outside the house occasionally for a break does not mean they're neglectful.
Taking a break is not only good for the parents, but it's good for the kids too, because the parents end up in a better and more relaxed mood. A lot of parents might claim to be "better" parents because they don't give themselves breaks, but if you asked their kids, they'd probably give a very different answer.
I would even argue that it's not only NOT neglect, but the opposite of neglect, or at least actively preventing neglect. I was raised with a mom who never really gave herself time for herself. That lead to her later on in our teen years just taking time to herself in unhealthy ways (straight up ignoring us while drinking and loudly scrolling on her phone through random hours of the day, sometimes at 2 or 3pm, and sometimes at 1 or 2am on school nights).
By giving yourself dedicated me time, you give yourself time to relax, allow yourself to live your life, and generally grounds you for the week ahead giving you a better ability to focus on your kids and take care of them.
I wish my own mom had had the chance for a mom day. She was single most of time and we barely stayed afloat financially so she was always tired and on edge. She may have been calmer and in a better head space if so. But also affording food and rent comes first so i get it. I hope more moms get the chance to have a day to themselves
Your mom was awesome. I grew up dirt poor, but I knew she loved me despite not being around much. Food on the table is non-negotiable. I hope your mom is taking all the time she wants for herself now.
I don't have kids, I don't intend to have kids, but watching your videos helps me put into perspective how to be a better aunt, and how better I can support my brother's family.
i am literally 14 and im probably not not going to have kids for another 15 years but i still watch your videos and enjoy them all
"what's good for mama is good for everyone," has to be one of my favorite sayings of all time
Yesss!!!! Self care is so damn important. We can’t pour water into someone else’s cup if we’re empty.
We love healthy habits that your kids will see and emulate later in life! We also love a parent who has the foresight to know that a stressed, anxious, emotionally suffocated person may be a less effective parent and this weekly act of self care is soooooo good for preventing that burnout
My sister has her 'Girls Night'. My brother-in-law has his 'Night with the Boys.' Definitely working out for the whole family. Both are amazing parents.
My ex had our daughter every night from after dinner till bed, then exclusively from Friday night till Sunday night. Gave him time with her to relax after work and I had time for homework with my older son and to make dinner. Then the weekends were mine with my son. Even if I was home he handled everything. This worked for us until he changed jobs. He missed his time with he so much then. ❤ She is 21 now and I love their relationship. He has always been a good dad.
It also helps the younger kids to become used to being separated from mom! (In the sense of dropping them off for nursery at church or something)
It’s almost as if mums are real human beings regardless of the facts they have reproduced. ❤❤❤
Almost! ♥
After a lifetime of being someone's daughter, sister, wife, mother, I had a wonderful fortnight, doing (don't laugh) jury service! For two lovely weeks, I was a freestanding person, not defined by my relationship to anyone else - I was meeee! It was lovely. ☺
Moms definitely need alone time. I was in Denver to visit Son, DIL and baby Granddaughter. We had ordered Chinese food for pickup. I asked DIL if she was picking it up. She got a look and quickly said she wanted to go alone and just sit and wait for a couple minutes. I laughed and told her I COMPLETELY understood. I just wanted to make sure she took my credit card. ❤️ MILs would do well to remember how they honestly felt when they were at that stage.
This is your reminder that being a SAHM is a job. You are a full-time caregiver. If someone else gets paid for what you're doing, that's work. And time off from work is super important. You are not a slave to your household. You are a person who deserves time off. Obviously, this is a high hour job, but it is a job. And when you start treating it that way, it's amazing how the guilt goes away.
As a nurse i have 100000 fears about having a child but it is what i always dreamed of....being a mom. Your videos help alot to process theae fears. Thank you. ❤
My situation is not typical and very difficult. And me time is literally a distant memory. I look at mommas that take days like this with such envy, but also aspire to be them. And I’m happy moms can be happy.
I hope one day soon your situation changes so that you can do this too or something that helps you center and fill your cup! Idk your situation but I was in a similar place for years and it's been 1 year since it changed. It's profoundly good for all, and I can't wait for you to have that too!❤❤
Same, it seems impossible for me. I'm so miserable lol
@@bookwyrmn I’m glad the dark times are behind you ❤️ it’s nice to hear it’s possible. Thank you for your kindness
@@AlinaKat3 I feel that in my soul ❤️❤️ sometimes happiness feels unattainable. (Not that I don’t have happy moments. I mean just life overall)
I truly do hope life changes and circumstances get better for you. You deserve happiness ❤️ don’t let life, or people in it, let you for get that
WHAT'S GOOD FOR MAMA IS GOOD FOR EVERYONE i need this tattooed on my forehead 😅
I dont have anyone to take care of the babies for mama time 😔 thankfully bed time is 7pm so I cook and read and have evenings to myself 🥰 take whatever time you can, not everyones situation looks the same ❤
Same!
I used to do the same thing! That time was precious to me!
I could never get my kids to bed that early. Probably because we didn't have to get up super early. I was always so jealous of moms that did, cause, like you said, then "me" time starts. I've unfortunately stayed up way too late sometimes because I didn't want to waste the peace and quiet. Always regret it the next day lol.
Yes! My mom would call it "calm down time" before bed. We didn't have to sleep, but it was time for a quiet screen free activity in our room before sleep. So puzzles, coloring, blocks, dolls, cars on their mat, any fun little thing we had. It let her start her evening and get ready to relax and had us quieting down for bed.
@@rs-mt6kl my mom did the same! I always read in my room and kept my younger siblings in check so she could wind down for the night. I've adopted this routine into my life now 🥰
Personally, I'd rather not have kids ever, but seeing your channel helps so much!! Cause my cousin wants to have kids some time in the far future and I wanna be there for their kid and be helpful to my cousin too.
(It also makes me feel like I am learning to be more empathetic with parents and letting go of some of that fear that is "fucking up" a kid cause you did wrong - a big reason for me for not wanting to have kids-
why did this make me cry?? i need a break hahaha
I have mama monday. I clean Saturday I cook sunday. Monday and Friday evening those are my days. Dont talk to me, have my house cleaned, Im going in my room. && grabbing my wine and cheese and my book
My kids are al.ost grown, and I seriously froze in mom guilt yesterday b/c I took about an hour on the way to get groceries & browsed a consignment store....and felt guilty about buying some things just for me. This mom guilt has been killing me for damned near 20 years.
This is such a healthy way of thinking. Every mom should have a mom day,all to herself 😊
I just found you a few days ago. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!! There are so many things that hit me. Your calm peaceful voice, makes me cry happiness. I have mama guilt everyday nonstop. I just love u.
Thank you with all my heart! ❤ you share love and light and make people feel comforted! Thank you for everything ❤
I love how you look, you’re so beautiful:D
This is a really important message to share. Healthy and happy parents raise a happy home, so that me time is for everyone’s benefit.
Family makes us feel bad for needing me time, despite doctors, nurses and therapists telling us to do it and that it's incredibly important. But the men tend to think you don't deserve it.
Every parent NEEDS this! And every couple needs scheduled date nights. It makes them better parents and partners.
I haven't been able to do what I want in 4 years. Imagine every week😅I'm planning on getting a baby sitter next week and taking myself shopping and out to eat. All by myself. And just thinking about it makes me feel weird. I was trying to figure out how to plan my day and can't even think of what to do because the last 5+ years have been about other people and not myself at all. I don't even know who I am anymore.
When my teens were toddlers, I used to work a few hours in the evenings. My work was about a 20 min drive through 3 smallish towns to get home. If I got off just a wee bit early I would be getting home right at bedtime. And of course bedtime with toddlers is a nightmare. At least for me because I gave in to every request for another round of kisses and hugs etc. Their dad got it done pretty easily. Anyways, I started taking the long way home. I learned every back road between there and home. Sometimes I'd go around in the country in circles just listening to the radio. That and taking an hour at the grocery store when I could have done it in 20 min. was my "me" time for awhile😂
I feel the same way, it's been about 4 years for me too! I would like to get a babysitter too but tbh I have heard some horror stories.. and my son is special needs so not sure if they could handle him 🥲🥲🥲 it's so difficult being a mom
@@AlinaKat3 You might be able to do a Mom's Helper situation. They babysit while you go back to your room & do whatever you want. Maybe even take a nice hot bath once you're more sure they can handle things.
There's also charities & such that will provide some respite care so you get a break & have good training.
you have such beautiful eyes omg i love that color
this makes me so excited to be a mom. im taking notes lol
When ur good to Mama, Mama’s good to you!!
I adore this conversation!!
It's so surreal to see parents feel so guilty for "neglecting their child" when just doing simple things (like taking a day for themself) while my own parents would leave me home alone with no notice, leave the house to go out when I asked them not to, and let me live in filth, all while feeling little to no guilt for it.
That's awful, l am sorry .
Sister… I love you with words that don’t even exist… Thank you. I love your platform. I love your message. I love your heart.
I had to say that to myself when I started attending barbershop rehearsals every Tuesday night and when I’d go out of town for conventions and I no longer feel like I’m abandoning my family. Mommas DO WHATS BEST FOR YOU!!! Take that weekly class, take that one day a week for you even if it’s a few hours after work, it does wonders for your mental health
This is my new mantra that I'm going to repeat every day. Whats good for mama is good for everyone. Being a new mom is not easy! But its rewarding for sure
What’s good for mama is good for everyone!!!!!!
I don't even wanna have kids but I am just loving the crap out this wholesome, healthy as hell channel.
Even though i absolutely despise the thought of one day having children, i love your videos so much. Cant get enough of them!
Not a mom but an offspring opinion: humans are social beings and probably historically raise offspring in communities of people. Raising a child is biologically not a 1 person job, go take that mom day off
My kid's new thing is telling me what he wants me to do and then adding "like a good mom would".
You have no idea how much I needed this video. Im a disabled sahm and until literally yesterday my daughter was with me all day everyday but due to her being 3.5 now and we as her parents think she needs time with other kids. So anyway she started prek at a school 5 mins away from home and the mom guilt about having her at school now instead of with me 24/7. But yesterday I realized that everyone loves this I get to rest and take care of myself while still cooking and cleaning the home, and she's at school learning with kids her age and when she comes home I have more energy and patience with her because I took time to rest a bit while she was at school ❤
I love how supportive both the moms are❤❤❤
I don't have any kids or know anyone with kids but I still love this principle, and this channel 👏🏻
I don't, won't and can't ever have kids but I find these videos so compelling lmao
Wow you’re such a good friend to yourself I love it ❤😂 I forget your playing both yourself and your friend, makes me want someone like this in my life too.
If you don't take care of your mental health, you won't be able to take care of those kiddos the way they need.
As a daughter I notice how burnt out my mom gets going to work 6 days a week 10 hours a day and still comes home and does everything for us that a mom does. I love my mom so much ❤❤
Your channel helps so many ❤ thank you for sharing your stories and experiences with us
My husband gives me a weekend morning all to myself. He watches our toddler while I am able to work on a hobby or whatever else I want. This helps me not feel overworked the rest of the week. Definitely work with your SO. Mamas need self care time too.
So, serious question: where do I meet people like you? I need your kind as mum friends
THIS is SO important and so healthy
I love my mummy time, making sure I’m taking care of. Myself means I’m in a better space of mind to make better decisions and I’m more patient with my beautiful toddler. My first became a new mum. I would feel guilty for needing time away from him, which is really quite silly, but that’s mum Gilt for you especially being a solo mum. It’s twice as important as I’m the one carrying all the weight and responsibility.❤ love your content
It also gives the father more time to bond with his kid and form a stronger one-on-one connection with them!
Take care of yourselves, Mama's! 🙏🕊️🪶
This is the channel I needed to see. Thank you.
I have to go to therapy 2x every week so I can process my past trauma, and so my depression and anxiety don't end up ruining my life and my family. Choose guilt over stress every time, it might save your life like it saved mine.
This is so sweet.
Yes, yes, yes .By taking breaks when needed you can continue to be strong for yourself and your family. It's so much better to take a day off than to constantly be tired. Plus, you're less likely to lash out at your child.
Your post are just a delight and give me so much hope
my mom totally needed this growing up:( she did almost all the raising the kids part of parenting. minus the harsh punishments. that's where 'ol pops comes into play :^)
This sounds so great and fab for keeping parenting healthy for all
YES! THIS! It's definitely easier when your child(ren) is past needing you for sustenance. Finally, after 8 years of Motherhood I DO take care of myself. I am a MUCH better mom because of it!
I love this for all moms
I'm so trying this!!!! Thank you. I've been wanting to go to the sauna lol and I just can't seem to squeeze it in
I’m a better friend to my mom friends because of your videos 💖
The best kind of parents are the ones who aren't driven insane
Omg I do that when I get groceries…realest words ever said😂
I love this!
When my kids are at school & i don't have any obligations I either binge watch reality TV while eating junk food on the couch or go out with a friend. It is SO IMPORTANT to keep YOUR soul happy & your cup full. Otherwise you have nothing to GIVE!
Maam I needed to hear this today.
I so so wish that my mom had been able to do this. It probably would’ve reduced so many of her problems that she ended up taking out on us kids. She’s getting better now that she _can_ do this, as I’m older now, but still so many headaches and traumas could’ve been prevented.
as a new mom, holy crap i needed this. im telling my boyfriend. fridays are now my day to have to myself. thank you.
I'm glad I'm learning this type stuff before I have kids of amy own, being able to know that if ur mentally ok, u take better care of ur kids
I get every monday and friday eveing and daddy gets every saturday and sunday morning ❤❤ makes so much of a difference ! Even after a few months of having pur second child our days will go back. Creates such a balanced feeling rather than overwhelming stress all the time ❤❤❤
You have such striking eyes!