Sorry, Paul, that was rude of me to mention the CCF without acknowledging the value of your 15 min talk. Some pithy, memorable nuggets, too eg “Hoping to heal addiction with willpower is like trying willpower to heal measles”. If as a result of, say, CPTSD, ones freeze response is to be as least visible as possible, then ‘putting yourself out there’ is the last thing you incline to do. A very succinct helpful talk to improve awareness and offer a different perspective on money issues
Taught to believe we are worthless and undeserving by a malignant narcissistic parent who made us the scapegoat, its a no brainer why we might shrink away from money and success. Its a big chunk of healing to correct this corrupted self-perception. Self-love, self-acceptance is the way forward.
This resonates so much with me. My mom was a chronic under-earner. Incredibly intelligent and yet chose cashier jobs and support worker jobs. She could have done so much with her potential but kept herself incredibly small. I am unraveling a lot of the generational traumas and now I discover this is one of them. Getting a PhD to avoid getting a job. Precisely me. Being afraid of the criticism that comes with being visible. Precisely me. (Yet I have pushed myself to have a YT channel and post IG reels despite this belief). Not getting help for what I need because I don't have the money to pay for help. Precisely me. (Yet I have hired an accountant to do what I am the worst at.)
Wow. I believe I'm currently suffering from this. I want to be successful but deep down inside I want to be invisible so people cannot hurt me. I have to find a solution for this. Thank you for sharing this information.
No, you're perfectly fine. Why are you alive? Most of us don't have an answer quite yet. This is a theory of how you should live. Personally, I don't take that type of advice anymore.
As am I. I have been seeking mental health for 5 years and experienced little to no long-term benefit, so this is quite a revelation, and I'm excited to begin the next phase of my life. I wish you the best on your road to recovery.
Wow. He is describing me here, so many things he said. One in particular about not sending invoices... I just about fell off my chair. Working on something for a day instead of an hour! Thank you for posting, I found it be accident, it showed up in my suggestions. I have been trying to find information on this stuff for years with no luck and whoever I ask doesn’t know what I am on about. I hope to getting in touch with someone about this.
I think that the root of my underearning is because as a child raised in a family where emotional neglect was my parents coping mechanism for their own traumas, I would often get harsh and damaging responses to most of my bids for emotional connection and nurturing. For my entire life, and even to this day just presented in different expressions, so I think my child mind resolved and thus resent the ‘reality’ I was facing at the time, that when someone has provided for you economically, materially, financially they cannot see any use or value for emotional nurturing. So it’s a trigger for me whenever someone, something eg an opportunity comes up as soon as it seems to present a kind of indication of emotional imbalance I’m triggered to feeling like a little girl devastated after being told ‘I pay for your school, food, rent etc’ and you’re so ungrateful etc and I’m your father not your friend etc. I think I vowed so many times as a little girl to never let someone do that to me when I have the authority over my own life. Needless to say it doesn’t quite work like that because I’m still living with my parent 37years later. But I’ve been doing the work, I’m in recovery and the validation from information like this definitely helps a lot to start to rebuild a new value system that reflects the deeper more true person I really am and the life I really desire and deserve to live.
Your parent has infantilized you so that you dont gain your natural autonomy and leave to make your own life. Research Infantilization - familial narcissism - scapegoating. You can not hope to heal while still living in the house with this parent. You must gain your independence. Secretly save money and leave as soon as you are able, and feel no guilt, dont let your empathy work against you. Put yourself first from now on. All the best.
The song "Eight Easy Steps" by Alanis Morissette came to mind listening to this talk. "How to feel worthless unless you're serving or helping someone" and "How to sabotage your fantasies with fear of success" The brilliance of her songs still floors me. I definitely struggle with this. At 45, all I feel is regret when I look back over my life.
Alanis M. has recently come out about her childhood, she was abused by a narcissistic parent, scapegoated, as is usually the case she is an empath. Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.
I am personally ambivalent about success and I am glad because it was so torturous the way I was driven earlier in life to push and "achieve". All I ended up doing was over working, burning out and hurting myself. So now it's a relief to me that I have let go of "achieving".
That's not what he's talking about. The ambivalence he's talking about is a defense mechanism that someone does emotionally, but rationally would not act that way. It's the fear that drives the response, not the reality.
The science behind this talk is groundbreaking and should be liberating for many underearners or those with low self-worth. Please fix the volume it's way too low
our pointing out of people becoming their own "drug dealers" is enlightening and how taking care of ourselves properly can help us in breaking those behaviours. The connection to self-value is adamant in this. Thank you for this talk, Paul! Y
Discovering this information at 25 is like hitting the Gold mine. I am 55.5 and Just found out there is a 12 step program for Underearners Anonymous. I about fell out my chair. I was in week 6 of the "Trauma of Money" course, while during a discussion about Financial Disorders, UA was mentioned on the slide. Finally a 12step program I can align with. I have done so much "transformational work" for 20 years trying to get motivated to finally Make it big. Live up to my potential and above average intelligence, with so much training that is embarrassing to mention it all, and still be living on the financial razors edge. Literally, I have less than 200.00 to my name. I don't have a income source, No car, living for free at my sister's, and no savings or retirement.
Very interesting talk. I've always had a very deep disdain for money and success of any kind. There is definitely a visibility/vulnerability issue involved.
The whole lecture seemed like he was talking about me. And I did not ever think that was a problem! I believe that just like every thing in nature a high energy state is a transient, unstable, unsustainable situation. One must shed additional energy and come to a state of lower energy. So, I think I am being wiser not to go after money and increase my energy levels. This is the rational for my behaviour. I also consider myself more at risk/ vulnerable if I have more money. And I am doing this for couple of decades now. Phew. I may even contact the Prof. Thanks a lot, Regards,
Wow! Where is Paul Sunderland today ? So helpful this angle. Tapping into these confusing symptoms. And I’m adopted!! You are my man. What more research has happened?!
Familial narcissism. Scapegoating. Infantilization. Emotional neglect. Quit often narcissists will adopt children merely to abuse and dominate them. It is a sick suggestion I know, but reality is what it is. Specialists say that even the idea to have their own biological children is often motivated by the desire to have their own living dolls to do with what they like, namely abuse. Raised to feel undeserving and less than, leads to what is being talked about here. Self-love, self-acceptance, self-empowerment is the antidote to the abuse. To heal our corrupted self-perception, and to gain our rightful power back. I have gone no contact with most of my family (all except one, but that may have to updated also).
Feel so called out! Even when people are asking for my rate, I always have to lowball myself and keep to their standards. I need to find some solution to this!
Good talk. There are times though that working a lower paying job allows you to achieve bigger goals. Remember Einstein worked in a patent office when he was making his biggest discoveries.
Love this topic. I have been sober from alcohol for more than 4 years, but my true addiction is under earning. I can look back and see that instance when I was bullied and I have tried to “fit in” or remain small ever since. That is clear as a bell to me now. So how do I get better?
Thanks Paul great information. I definitely fall into the chronic underearners due to early childhood trauma. No local DA meetings maybe have to start one. Well done!
oh boy, did he just say experience is the architect of the brain! ...that aside I think I have a core belief that I ought not be a better earner than my parents... also, as a teenager I started being verbally abused in many different ways by the family of the man i eventually married. I eventually also ran away from him... life was a mess... I don't trust people... don't care to be overly friendly... tried that and they shat on me - conned me out of heaps of dosh too... right now i am content to struggle on ... alone...
Thank you SO MUCH for sharing this insightful and important information. It astounds me that there is so little "out there" about something that clearly afflicts most people I know! Incredibly grateful for this talk and the excellent content :-)
If I don't pursue an insurance claim for someone who wrongfully hit my car, I am suffering? - NO. There's an unspoken premise here about how it's NORMAL to constantly try to get ahead and get every nickle and dime. The flip side is that there is also something wrong with you if you are constantly trying to get ahead. Maybe...these monetary goals are just not recognized as valuable by some very normal and fine people.
Another fascinating talk and interesting information on some of the more recently recognised ‘process addictions’. I wonder if there are others too not mentioned here, including some of those around co-dependancy, and even perhaps the real modern challenges around the impact of computer use - both gaming and social media? I love the fact that you talk about it being a spectrum too, as I am sure many of us can relate to different aspects of these behavioural patterns.
To take care of ourselves, to be free to do what we want to do... having a PhD and staying invisible.. suddenly the movie Dead Poets Society and Robin Williams as Mr. Keating saying “date to strike out and find new ground” and quoting WW and his barbaric yawp over the rooftops of the world has a whole new meaning!!!!
Well done for owning your anxiety! One quick hack: consider fewer bullet points on index cards rather than all that paper, you lost me a bit while you were finding your place.
My compliments to the speaker for a well delivered talk. Bohemian Rhapsody. Any way the wind blows doesn't really matter to me....to oo me. I read the news today oh boy...about a lucky man who made the grade...and though the news was rather sad, well I just had to laugh...He blew his mind out in a car! In other words, striving also has a dark side as does under achievement. Didn't they do a study and that beyond a certain income happiness decreases exponentially or something like that. I believe its true.
Found this talk very interesting and identified with a lot of what was said ... thank you. Will have to google some help now - any tips? Where do we go now?
I’ve been thinking about this all day. I’m slowly starting to realize that there may not be any “silver bullet,” “magic pill,” or enlightened guru that can solve all my problems. I don’t know entirely how or why my brain has ended up wired for the kind of compulsive behaviors he mentions here. Dr. Hanscom in his book Back in Control suggests that the root of all neurophysiologic disorders is anxiety - perhaps a slightly overly afraid/alert limbic system that never lets us feel completely safe and at ease, hence the need to “medicate” in some form, to muster some sense of control in our lives, even if it must be by compulsive behaviors. I’m currently trying to cope with a combination of prescribed medication and meditation/mindfulness/yoga - learning to observe the obsessive mind, the fear and anxiety with some sense of detachment/distance/curiosity. And self-care. Saying “no” to others and “yes” to myself more… 🙏🏼
I love how these upper middle class elitists think I choose to earn less just to be annoying to them. Yes, if I had the time and/or money to get a PhD like my brother did (after he conned me out of $100K), then yes, I could earn more. But unlike him, I have three felony convictions which exclude me from virtually all of the better jobs. I'm doing the best I can with what I have to work with.
OK, I am about 10 minutes in. Is this about addiction or underearning? Is he going to say underearning an addiction? I didn't really get a lot from this. I still don't see the connection to addiction 😕
You gotta be careful about this becuase ambivalence of success could be a healthy thing for recovering workaholics. Sometimes being too success driven is equally unhealthy. So it depends on the person but a title like this could be triggering to someone's workaholism.
The emphasis is on "UNDER earning." You don't have to work more; but earn more. Workaholism, as the word clearly says, is an addiction and this talk is about getting healthy, getting rid of one's addictions.
As a recovering serial entrepreneur and generalized addict, I agree. I’ve been successful and no longer need to work for income but still have projects and products in R&D. It’s strange trying to let go of drive and ambition but I have to because I burned out my nervous system and my hands/wrists. I’m practicing Feldenkrais movement and doing things I’ve put off a long time. What the speaker has to say is right-on. I finally realized that I’ve been dealing with complex post-traumatic stress.: “Trauma is a restriction of the authentic-self in the present moment” -Gabor Mate’
Omg, I have 100% of these syptoms listed! He said it can be treated but didnt say how. Unbelievably frustrating to be left hanging like that! "Theres a solution, yay! ..... but im not going to tell you how to find it." Thumbs down. :(
12 step program, which originated in AA. Underearners Anonymous. Read David R. Hawkins, one of the books is called Healing and Recovery, another is Letting go, the Pathway of Surrender
Point out the problems but add no solutions. What's the point Sir? Find Marisa Peer, have hypnosis and get rid of the past traumas that cause the issues. Hypnotherapy the only way it may seem. There is a book called 'The Presence process'. I know someone neglected at childhood who has issues. She read that book, did the ten week program and looked completely different. Good luck all us sufferers on the earth.
Time deflection... you mean procrastination ? Its amazing how they change perfectly good words for something else just because. Interesting talk though.
More and more there is a steep opportunity cost to success. The potential to make a lot more money cannot ride it. Nowadays, people crucify you in public. Not wanting to be a pinata of cackling beauties is appealing.
I just started attending underearners. It is great. The link between childhood trauma, ptsd, etc. and underearning is clear
Sorry, Paul, that was rude of me to mention the CCF without acknowledging the value of your 15 min talk. Some pithy, memorable nuggets, too eg “Hoping to heal addiction with willpower is like trying willpower to heal measles”.
If as a result of, say, CPTSD, ones freeze response is to be as least visible as possible, then ‘putting yourself out there’ is the last thing you incline to do.
A very succinct helpful talk to improve awareness and offer a different perspective on money issues
Taught to believe we are worthless and undeserving by a malignant narcissistic parent who made us the scapegoat, its a no brainer why we might shrink away from money and success. Its a big chunk of healing to correct this corrupted self-perception. Self-love, self-acceptance is the way forward.
This resonates so much with me. My mom was a chronic under-earner. Incredibly intelligent and yet chose cashier jobs and support worker jobs. She could have done so much with her potential but kept herself incredibly small. I am unraveling a lot of the generational traumas and now I discover this is one of them. Getting a PhD to avoid getting a job. Precisely me. Being afraid of the criticism that comes with being visible. Precisely me. (Yet I have pushed myself to have a YT channel and post IG reels despite this belief). Not getting help for what I need because I don't have the money to pay for help. Precisely me. (Yet I have hired an accountant to do what I am the worst at.)
Wow. I believe I'm currently suffering from this. I want to be successful but deep down inside I want to be invisible so people cannot hurt me. I have to find a solution for this. Thank you for sharing this information.
No, you're perfectly fine. Why are you alive? Most of us don't have an answer quite yet.
This is a theory of how you should live. Personally, I don't take that type of advice anymore.
As am I. I have been seeking mental health for 5 years and experienced little to no long-term benefit, so this is quite a revelation, and I'm excited to begin the next phase of my life.
I wish you the best on your road to recovery.
Did you find a solution or are you still looking for one? I have one if you're still looking.
@@user-go1ut1gz4n What is the solution?
@@Roudter weird take. Someone expresses a desire to grow and change and you tell them not to?
I understand the desire to be invisible well, but he did not talk about the desire to avoid the stress of responsibility, of taking risks.
Wow. He is describing me here, so many things he said. One in particular about not sending invoices... I just about fell off my chair. Working on something for a day instead of an hour! Thank you for posting, I found it be accident, it showed up in my suggestions. I have been trying to find information on this stuff for years with no luck and whoever I ask doesn’t know what I am on about. I hope to getting in touch with someone about this.
I think that the root of my underearning is because as a child raised in a family where emotional neglect was my parents coping mechanism for their own traumas, I would often get harsh and damaging responses to most of my bids for emotional connection and nurturing. For my entire life, and even to this day just presented in different expressions, so I think my child mind resolved and thus resent the ‘reality’ I was facing at the time, that when someone has provided for you economically, materially, financially they cannot see any use or value for emotional nurturing. So it’s a trigger for me whenever someone, something eg an opportunity comes up as soon as it seems to present a kind of indication of emotional imbalance I’m triggered to feeling like a little girl devastated after being told ‘I pay for your school, food, rent etc’ and you’re so ungrateful etc and I’m your father not your friend etc. I think I vowed so many times as a little girl to never let someone do that to me when I have the authority over my own life. Needless to say it doesn’t quite work like that because I’m still living with my parent 37years later. But I’ve been doing the work, I’m in recovery and the validation from information like this definitely helps a lot to start to rebuild a new value system that reflects the deeper more true person I really am and the life I really desire and deserve to live.
Your parent has infantilized you so that you dont gain your natural autonomy and leave to make your own life. Research Infantilization - familial narcissism - scapegoating.
You can not hope to heal while still living in the house with this parent. You must gain your independence. Secretly save money and leave as soon as you are able, and feel no guilt, dont let your empathy work against you. Put yourself first from now on. All the best.
The song "Eight Easy Steps" by Alanis Morissette came to mind listening to this talk. "How to feel worthless unless you're serving or helping someone" and
"How to sabotage your fantasies with fear of success"
The brilliance of her songs still floors me. I definitely struggle with this. At 45, all I feel is regret when I look back over my life.
Alanis M. has recently come out about her childhood, she was abused by a narcissistic parent, scapegoated, as is usually the case she is an empath. Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.
I am personally ambivalent about success and I am glad because it was so torturous the way I was driven earlier in life to push and "achieve". All I ended up doing was over working, burning out and hurting myself. So now it's a relief to me that I have let go of "achieving".
That's not what he's talking about. The ambivalence he's talking about is a defense mechanism that someone does emotionally, but rationally would not act that way. It's the fear that drives the response, not the reality.
I totally understand. So much trauma. Just starting in UA
The science behind this talk is groundbreaking and should be liberating for many underearners or those with low self-worth. Please fix the volume it's way too low
Chilling video as I recognized many traits in it I possess that have been impeding my earning potential and causing considerable internal conflict.
our pointing out of people becoming their own "drug dealers" is enlightening and how taking care of ourselves properly can help us in breaking those behaviours. The connection to self-value is adamant in this. Thank you for this talk, Paul! Y
Absolutely right. What a concept!!!!
I wish this was longer. It ended just as it was getting interesting!
I get the wanting to be invisible and successful. Being bullied, pushed around, "low browed" terribly as a kid..
I am 25 and today I discovered I have it. Never felt so happy! I really thought something was wrong with me and I'm alone in this.
Discovering this information at 25 is like hitting the Gold mine. I am 55.5 and Just found out there is a 12 step program for Underearners Anonymous. I about fell out my chair. I was in week 6 of the "Trauma of Money" course, while during a discussion about Financial Disorders, UA was mentioned on the slide. Finally a 12step program I can align with. I have done so much "transformational work" for 20 years trying to get motivated to finally Make it big. Live up to my potential and above average intelligence, with so much training that is embarrassing to mention it all, and still be living on the financial razors edge. Literally, I have less than 200.00 to my name. I don't have a income source, No car, living for free at my sister's, and no savings or retirement.
Very interesting talk. I've always had a very deep disdain for money and success of any kind. There is definitely a visibility/vulnerability issue involved.
Heard him "in the flesh" last week. Very good speaker. Held our attention for a 90 min. and 60. min talk in one morning.
I hit this by accident and I am so glad I did. What an amazing talk. So important, so precisely and kindly presented. Thank you.
The whole lecture seemed like he was talking about me. And I did not ever think that was a problem! I believe that just like every thing in nature a high energy state is a transient, unstable, unsustainable situation. One must shed additional energy and come to a state of lower energy. So, I think I am being wiser not to go after money and increase my energy levels. This is the rational for my behaviour. I also consider myself more at risk/ vulnerable if I have more money. And I am doing this for couple of decades now. Phew. I may even contact the Prof. Thanks a lot, Regards,
Wow! Where is Paul Sunderland today ? So helpful this angle. Tapping into these confusing symptoms. And I’m adopted!! You are my man. What more research has happened?!
Familial narcissism. Scapegoating. Infantilization. Emotional neglect. Quit often narcissists will adopt children merely to abuse and dominate them. It is a sick suggestion I know, but reality is what it is. Specialists say that even the idea to have their own biological children is often motivated by the desire to have their own living dolls to do with what they like, namely abuse. Raised to feel undeserving and less than, leads to what is being talked about here. Self-love, self-acceptance, self-empowerment is the antidote to the abuse. To heal our corrupted self-perception, and to gain our rightful power back. I have gone no contact with most of my family (all except one, but that may have to updated also).
Don’t cry much, or often, this year. Identified with all of this. Will pursue help immediately.
Feel so called out! Even when people are asking for my rate, I always have to lowball myself and keep to their standards. I need to find some solution to this!
I just started on UA Crystal maybe it will help you
Interesting point about intimacy. I propose it's not about feeling differently, but instead about not feeling.
Good talk. There are times though that working a lower paying job allows you to achieve bigger goals. Remember Einstein worked in a patent office when he was making his biggest discoveries.
I don’t believe he is talking about a highly focused individual with a plan who has to work a job “beneath” him as part of the plan.
Very enlightening talk. Really appreciate it. Also, best description of addiction I've ever heard. Thanks!
The symptoms Paul discusses are from Underearners Anonymous, a twelve step program.
Yes, I looked up Debtor's Anonymous in TH-cam and found this video.
Thank you
Happiness is the highest level of success.
Love this topic. I have been sober from alcohol for more than 4 years, but my true addiction is under earning. I can look back and see that instance when I was bullied and I have tried to “fit in” or remain small ever since. That is clear as a bell to me now. So how do I get better?
Barbara Sher's books might be a good place to start, she's the best of the best in overcoming mindset stuff! - also check out her youtube vids :)
@@pipfox7834 thank you
Visible Issues🙋♂️🙋♂️Yes that is me!!!NA AA GA and now UA all have helped me on my journey💯
Thanks Paul great information. I definitely fall into the chronic underearners due to early childhood trauma. No local DA meetings maybe have to start one. Well done!
How about the issue of not getting to the point? Finally started talking about under earning at 10:30 on a 19:28 video.
More time on recovery of compulsive under earning please...how...what are recognizable healthy steps forward in self care....MORE PLEASE
Fascinating talk - found it when I was researching Success Inhibition
oh boy, did he just say experience is the architect of the brain! ...that aside I think I have a core belief that I ought not be a better earner than my parents... also, as a teenager I started being verbally abused in many different ways by the family of the man i eventually married. I eventually also ran away from him... life was a mess... I don't trust people... don't care to be overly friendly... tried that and they shat on me - conned me out of heaps of dosh too... right now i am content to struggle on ... alone...
Thank you SO MUCH for sharing this insightful and important information. It astounds me that there is so little "out there" about something that clearly afflicts most people I know! Incredibly grateful for this talk and the excellent content :-)
BRILLIANT! Thank you for sharing and making this valuable information accessible to everyone.
If I don't pursue an insurance claim for someone who wrongfully hit my car, I am suffering? - NO.
There's an unspoken premise here about how it's NORMAL to constantly try to get ahead and get every nickle and dime.
The flip side is that there is also something wrong with you if you are constantly trying to get ahead.
Maybe...these monetary goals are just not recognized as valuable by some very normal and fine people.
Wow! It makes all the sense in the world now how and why I’ve had certain patterns in my life!!!
Very constructive information for a difficult mindset to understand. Your voice is very kind a gentle, but a challenge to hear.
Self worth self esteem issues acoa and coda also great to help this! We are worth it!
Another fascinating talk and interesting information on some of the more recently recognised ‘process addictions’. I wonder if there are others too not mentioned here, including some of those around co-dependancy, and even perhaps the real modern challenges around the impact of computer use - both gaming and social media? I love the fact that you talk about it being a spectrum too, as I am sure many of us can relate to different aspects of these behavioural patterns.
Chronic lateness gets in the way of creativity
Really informative and comprehensible talk.. refreshingly real. 👍
To take care of ourselves, to be free to do what we want to do... having a PhD and staying invisible.. suddenly the movie Dead Poets Society and Robin Williams as Mr. Keating saying “date to strike out and find new ground” and quoting WW and his barbaric yawp over the rooftops of the world has a whole new meaning!!!!
Well done for owning your anxiety! One quick hack: consider fewer bullet points on index cards rather than all that paper, you lost me a bit while you were finding your place.
You've clearly stated what it is and where it comes from. What is recovery for this look like? What does one do to recover from underearning?
UA!! many meetings on phone - socal and ny in person.....
Here's the first thing. Your life? Is no random accident. It's much more than just time to fill.
Incredible talk!
Defining the concept of ‘underearning’ for someone besides oneself sounds like it requires a fair amount of subjective judgement and projection.
Go to 15:42 to see the point of the video.
Fascinating. I think this is my problem. Thank you.
This is fantastic. Thank you.
Truly eye-opening! I still need to process this.
whoah, interesting! Thank you for the talk Mr Sunderland.
I'll bet you a hundred dollars, as bad as I need the money, this is what afflicts me.
Thank you.
so time doesnt really just fly when you're having fun....
Beautiful ! what is the solution?
Thank you. This is absolutely a fantastic presentation.
Wow, really helpful. I don't want to be visible.... didn't know that.
Interesting, yes. I found myself falling in a few of those addictive-behavioral-patterns categories.
Gracias por compartir, interesante tema.
Such a good tedtalk, thank you 🙏
So insightful and informative great talk
Really interesting talk, real food for thought
My compliments to the speaker for a well delivered talk. Bohemian Rhapsody. Any way the wind blows doesn't really matter to me....to oo me. I read the news today oh boy...about a lucky man who made the grade...and though the news was rather sad, well I just had to laugh...He blew his mind out in a car! In other words, striving also has a dark side as does under achievement. Didn't they do a study and that beyond a certain income happiness decreases exponentially or something like that. I believe its true.
Found this talk very interesting and identified with a lot of what was said ... thank you. Will have to google some help now - any tips? Where do we go now?
I’ve been thinking about this all day. I’m slowly starting to realize that there may not be any “silver bullet,” “magic pill,” or enlightened guru that can solve all my problems. I don’t know entirely how or why my brain has ended up wired for the kind of compulsive behaviors he mentions here. Dr. Hanscom in his book Back in Control suggests that the root of all neurophysiologic disorders is anxiety - perhaps a slightly overly afraid/alert limbic system that never lets us feel completely safe and at ease, hence the need to “medicate” in some form, to muster some sense of control in our lives, even if it must be by compulsive behaviors.
I’m currently trying to cope with a combination of prescribed medication and meditation/mindfulness/yoga - learning to observe the obsessive mind, the fear and anxiety with some sense of detachment/distance/curiosity. And self-care. Saying “no” to others and “yes” to myself more…
🙏🏼
So thankful for this.
I wish he talked about HOW to deal with it and make it better
I found this talk most interesting and informative.
Very helpful and interesting! Thank you!
Great topic, well presented. Top stuff
David R Hawkins - Healing and Recovery
👍🤔Yepper, ole boy, ole boy, if it’s not one things it’s another...we all create our own suffering. 😩
I have the ability to make 50 dollars an hour but its in construction which sucks so I only do it as much as I need to to live modestly.
Well if you hate it I don't think there is anything neurotic about avoiding it.
Get skills to do other things. You can only do it for so long and youve RUINED your body anyway.
Is there a recording with better sound?
Sooo true. Ty.
I love how these upper middle class elitists think I choose to earn less just to be annoying to them. Yes, if I had the time and/or money to get a PhD like my brother did (after he conned me out of $100K), then yes, I could earn more. But unlike him, I have three felony convictions which exclude me from virtually all of the better jobs. I'm doing the best I can with what I have to work with.
OK, I am about 10 minutes in. Is this about addiction or underearning? Is he going to say underearning an addiction?
I didn't really get a lot from this. I still don't see the connection to addiction 😕
You gotta be careful about this becuase ambivalence of success could be a healthy thing for recovering workaholics. Sometimes being too success driven is equally unhealthy. So it depends on the person but a title like this could be triggering to someone's workaholism.
The emphasis is on "UNDER earning." You don't have to work more; but earn more. Workaholism, as the word clearly says, is an addiction and this talk is about getting healthy, getting rid of one's addictions.
🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
As a recovering serial entrepreneur and generalized addict, I agree. I’ve been successful and no longer need to work for income but still have projects and products in R&D. It’s strange trying to let go of drive and ambition but I have to because I burned out my nervous system and my hands/wrists. I’m practicing Feldenkrais movement and doing things I’ve put off a long time. What the speaker has to say is right-on. I finally realized that I’ve been dealing with complex post-traumatic stress.: “Trauma is a restriction of the authentic-self in the present moment” -Gabor Mate’
Great thoughts
How can it be fixed?
This seems to come largely from the literature of undearners anonymous.
What if you swung from compulsive spending while also under earning?
DA and UA would help in that case :)
Can anyone fix the audio level??
This is me
Are there any books or other talks that can help with treatment for this disorder?
19:28 'Earn what you deserve' by Jerrold Mundiss
Omg, I have 100% of these syptoms listed! He said it can be treated but didnt say how. Unbelievably frustrating to be left hanging like that! "Theres a solution, yay! ..... but im not going to tell you how to find it." Thumbs down. :(
12 step program, which originated in AA. Underearners Anonymous. Read David R. Hawkins, one of the books is called Healing and Recovery, another is Letting go, the Pathway of Surrender
Oh, thank you for clarifying that! :D
It would be great if this guy spoke louder .
I agree.
And slower
I hear him just fine. Get a better PC or earphones.
MAYBE HE DESIRES LOWER VISIBILITY!
Is workaholism just as unhealthy as underearning?
The audience are very juvenile. I wonder if it was given in a nursery school. The Jerrold Mundis book is the core of this subject
Everyone on the edge of their seats wondering when to take notes haha
Point out the problems but add no solutions. What's the point Sir? Find Marisa Peer, have hypnosis and get rid of the past traumas that cause the issues. Hypnotherapy the only way it may seem. There is a book called 'The Presence process'. I know someone neglected at childhood who has issues. She read that book, did the ten week program and looked completely different. Good luck all us sufferers on the earth.
How's it going with you now?
“The Body Keeps The Score” by Bessel van der Kolk MD; “The PolyVagal Theory” by Stephen Porges MD
Time deflection... you mean procrastination ? Its amazing how they change perfectly good words for something else just because. Interesting talk though.
More and more there is a steep opportunity cost to success. The potential to make a lot more money cannot ride it. Nowadays, people crucify you in public. Not wanting to be a pinata of cackling beauties is appealing.
How does this have less than 1k likes????
Taxes and tyrants.
Why can moneyfree stay at home parents be socially acceptable, but artists are not?
Process disorder
Gary Busey arrest me then
"Jesus wasn't a millionaire and he didn't have a college degree" is how I would rationalize the feeling.
Hippies have left the chat…
Addiction is anti-intimacy, chasing away what they feel
Underearning
Overvolunteering
I can’t take care of myself
Visibility - Criticism as threat