Lily, I just need you to know that so many of these shows that paint trans people in a negative light were a big reason I repressed being trans all my life. These videos have helped me cope with how I used to feel a lot, and I thank you with all my heart.
As a painfully monogamous Bisexual, I really always hated the "Greedy" narrative. Like your straight-ass boyfriend is attracted to different kinds of women, what's the difference?
Same lmao, I've had boyfriends ask if I "need" to be with women too and I'm like "do you like both blondes and redheads? But you don't feel like you *need* a redhead on the side? Same shit."
As another monogamous bisexual I always hated the whole "pick a lane" arguement, like who we end up being with determines our sexuality supposedly or that we can't even make up our minds. Like yeah I'm in a relationship with a guy, I'm still a bisexual, I still find women to be attractive that doesn't mean I'm gonna go and though myself at them just cause I can't make up my mind 🙃
It's so interesting to me that Two and a Half Men had a kinder and more nuanced handling of their trans character than the show that prided itself on being progressive-minded
There is actually another trans episode of two and a half men where alans girlfriend comes out as trans after they sleep together and alan shows the bare minimum respect and immediately outs her to several people..so some respect is shown by Alan(who doesn't break up with her)...but she is still the main joke of the entire episode
@ovenknees4410 those are the kind of antics I was bracing myself for with the first review. It's another interesting look into what comedy writers find "funny" about trans men vs what they find "funny" about trans women, the latter of which seemingly getting the worst comingling of homophobia and misogyny particularly when they start as the object of sexual desire (see also: the House ep)
There's another episode where Charlotte loves a man because he's straight, but acts "gay". She then breaks up with him suddenly in the end because he's scared of a rat
@@SithVampireQueenthiiis I have friends with pet rats and that's totally chill because I'm way less likely to get a disease from hers than from in a back alley. My favourite animal is the snake, though, so I HAVE to understand the distinction between wild/city animals and pets 😩
The most offensive part of it is that samantha moved to a recently gentrified area of new york and then whines about the locals who had been there for ages being heavily discrimindated. I took a seminar on SATC and feminism and we talked about the cockadoodledoo episode for 3h or so. Something noteworthy is also that in all other episodes there are no any well-presented black people that arent super spiteful or bitchy. SATC is interesting and somewhat revolutionary when it comes to the issues of privileged 30s white ciswomen (Abortion, difficulties with sex, dating, marriage...) but as soon as other intersections are thrown into the mix they get all unhinged. It's also pretty interesting that even intersections relevant to the cast are somewhat weirdly represented. All gay men have the same personality, jewish people sweat a lot and anne frank jokes, yada yada (Carrie's actress has jewish roots if my mind serves me right)
I think it's generous to call it revolutionary even as it pertains to privileged 30s white ciswomen. I AM a single, white, ciswoman in my 30s. This show came out when I was in college and ran while I was literally living out the experience of being a single ciswoman in New York City. I AM the target demographic. And 20 years after it ended, I am STILL resentful of the way this show presumed to speak for me. The characters, each with their distinct, ninja turtle personalities, were supposed to represent the full spectrum of single women* and their dating experiences, and even if we ignore that "*white, privileged, straight, cis" little asterisk, the differences between these women are ultimately very superficial. They all sort of have the same relationship to sex, dating, romance and relationships. They all pursue it in sort of the same way, on the same timeline, and give it the same importance in their lives. As a timid demisexual it annoyed me - AND STILL ANNOYS ME - that the only approach to relationships that was every recognized by the show was to serially date and f*ck dozens of men every month. And then obsess about every detail of their romantic lives over brunch with each other. There's one episode where Miranda is annoyed the whole episode because all they do is talk about men, and then they continue to exclusively talk about men for another, like, four seasons. Yeah, this show is a feminist masterpiece. And then, despite all of that, they still manage to make judgmental comments about other people's sex lives and slut-shame Samantha all the frickin' time! WHAT EVEN IS THIS SHOW.
@@joyfulgirl40018it's almost like the entire show was normalizing sex talk with women and normalizing being single and dating around and sleeping around
I'm a bisexual woman and biphobia can come out of the strangest places. My mother-in-law is not speaking to me because I got interviewed at a pride parade and I said I was bisexual and she doesn't believe bisexuals exist. Her son is gay and she is super supportive of him but she is super anti bisexual. Edit - *Thank you, Lily for bringing up the biphobia in this show while diving into the transphobia in this show as well as for every video you create!*
My grandmother is like this, and my mother is bisexual but because she was only openly with men for years my grandma's convinced she was secretly a lesbian. My mom has been in a relationship with a woman for the last 4 years, and I've been openly bisexual since I was around 13 and that's apparently not normal but my mom being a "lesbian" is fine lol. My grandmother even sl//t shamed me because I'm attracted to both genders...
@@sageofspace I'm sorry you have to deal with that. My own grandmother no longer has a relationship with me because I'm bisexual but in a messed up way at least she acknowledges me as bisexual. She's just dead against it and so has given up on me. My MIL wants me to literally apologize for coming out as bisexual and I don't know I guess pretend I'm not? You do not deserved to be sl//t shamed EVER! That's messed up you have to deal with that, both you and your mom.
I feel that some of the heteros from previous generations really internalized the “born this way” message to mean “pity the poooor lil gays because they cannot help it”, but then they think bi people should be closeted because they have the option of only pursuing straight-passing relationships. It’s like a layer cake of illogic, just to cling to a set of prejudices that are not only unjust, but lost their patina of social acceptability a hot minute ago. Plus, sad to say, some of those older biphobes are bi or pan themselves and bitter that most younger people have more freedom than they ever considered for themselves.
when i was discovering myself i told my mom i was bi, she seemingly accepted it, but when i later understood myself better and said i was a lesbian she said "finally decided and stopped being confused and going for both" (i could not replicate the exact way she said) basically she was secretelly thinking the whole time that i was only bi until i found someone i liked and was going to just decide my sexuality then
@@sofiadias7352 Urgh, that's the worse. When people think you have to "choose" as if once a straight person is married they never find anyone else but their spouse attractive. I actually got to skip quite a bit of that worry with my husband and mom. When I came out to my husband and said "I think I'm bisexual" he didn't even bother stopping his video game just answering "Yeah, I know. I was just waiting for you to figure it out." My mom sorta outed me by asking when I was going to tell her I was bisexual. In both cases when I asked how they knew they both answered my best friend's name who I have had a I guess not as subtle looking as I thought crush on since I was a little girl. I think my MIL is like your mom thought wise (minus the seeming acceptance) I think she thinks I'm secretly a lesbian that's going to leave her son because if not then I must be straight. My mom just thinks I'm poly (she's not completely off on that one). Honestly at the end of the day it blows my mind that people think bisexuals need to "choose" a side. It's not like that's applicable to any other aspect of human relationships. You aren't expected to "choose" liking and having one friend in life after all. I can't "choose" who I'm attracted to so why is it such a problem to other people who will never be impacted by my sexuality?
As a pan dude, if I am single I am a liar either trying to pretend to be LGBT or trying to seem exotic, if I am with a woman I am tricking her or trying to trick real LGBT people. If I am with a man I am admiting I am actually secretly gay. Life sure is fun
AND put the transphobia on as a nice dollop of dook on top of the whole twisted trash-can ice-cream. As a pan dude, I feel your pain. I've married a cis-pan woman, and guess what? People don't even believe I'm pan. My sexuality is completely erased by my family because they think I "went straight". Like, no, cis woman is actually one of the genders I'm into. As well as all of the other ones. It never seems to get any easier. I need the queer community to stay sane and remember who I am, because no one else ever acknowledges it.
sounds like your only option is polyamory with a woman and a man at the same time! but no.. that also won't work because people will say you're greedy. no way to win my boyfriend and I are both bi but our relationship appears straight so.. I feel you
That is the worse. Because then you have family members that either think you actually "straight" or secretly "gay". In a messed up way I actually find the family members that have shunned me because of my bisexuality more comforting because at least they acknowledge my sexuality even if they resent me for it.
if the antagonist of your episode is "women being kinda loud who moved down the block when asked" and meanwhile your protagonists are making fun of them and saying rude things, it seems the episode has identified the wrong people as the antagonists...
This doesn't really have anything to do with the Sex and the City episode and discussion, but I just remembered the episode from Will and Grace "An Affair to Forget" where Jack gets a lap dance from a female stripper at a bachelor party and is horrified when he gets turned on (worried that he might be "turning straight"). He's then relieved to find out that the stripper is trans and pre-surgery. It's basically just a different take on the "man reacts to finding out he's attracted to a trans woman" trope except this time the man is relieved by the revelation instead of horrified. It still relies on the assumption that trans women (especially if they haven't had surgery) are still at least partially men
You know, these are two episodes out of like, 70? It's problematic sometimes; there are other eps with biphobia in it, and on top of that the whole show is extremely bourgeois with privilege being taken for granted. But overall it's a good show, full of fun, deep, and even empowering moments. Samantha is super cool when you look at the whole thing.
@@astralseaslug546 That comment might be better included in the general comment section rather than this reply thread since I was specifically talking about a Will and Grace episode
@@astralseaslug546Even if so, who the hell cares? If you like any of these shows, cool. Generations who aren't biased towards these shows because they were on since we were young have every right to be critical of them though. Millennials/Gen Xers call younger people over critical and sensitive for criticizing their media, when we criticize our media too, we do entire deep dives on why our shows suck. Hollyweird is filled with bigotry, always has been, hell it's built on it. You can enjoy your media while acknowledging this.
There was a weird narrative when I grew up watching shows that bisexuals didn’t exist and were just closeted gays struggling to fully commit. This wasn’t just here but everywhere. I think Will and Grace did an apology episode about this when they rebooted. It was weird to see one group of people struggling with being accepted attack another group but I guess it was to combat the perception that you could choose your sexual preference back then.
I still find it weird, that people still think this. Personally i haven't met this prejudice in real life, since i came out, but i sure do know a lot of people who have
I'm currently watching Buffy and they had such a fantastic build up of bisexual Willow, only to call her a lesbian for the rest of the show, just because the network didn't want her to be bi back then. Bi-erasure was really big.
@TemariNaraannaschatz the bi-erasure is even worse in the comics. Spoilers below. In the comics, Buffy has a brief sexual relationship with a woman. It isn't a serious relationship, but as far as we see she does genuinely like the other girl and enjoys their time together, and the reasons she gives for breaking it off have nothing to do with not being attracted to women and are instead about the personal issues she was going through at the time. From then onwards, the comics insist the whole thing diddnt count because "Buffy isn't gay" (other characters straight up say exactly that to her face). The idea that she could genuinely like women is treated as ridiculous for seemingly no reason.
I saw the biphobic episode of this show first, while hanging out with some friends while Sex and the City was playing in the background, and I was so insulted (as a bi cis girl) that I never wanted to watch another episode of this shit again. My other friends kept watching it, though, and kept calling me "a Samantha." I never understood why; and now that I see her horrible transphobia, I am even more insulted for having been compared to her in any context.
there is a storyline later on in the show, which hopefully is what they were referring to, where Samantha has a serious sexual and romantic relationship with a woman for a few episodes and she goes through a lot of growth thanks to it, as before she was only interested in casual sex. sounds great, right? well, the show treats the whole thing like an absolute fucking joke, at some point one of her friends says that she's dating her to spite them??? ? ? and of course her queerness is never addressed again i would even argue it wasn't really addressed as it was happening
Grew up with this show and it was so white and cishet normative. I did not see why my mum enjoyed it at all. I'm sorry that people write this kind of stuff that actively villainizes people like you and I.
Has... Has Lily always been talking into a sock? Why is it just now that I can't stop fixating on how the mic is dressed in an oversized hat? Awesome video as usual ✨
Best representation of French people is easily: "your mother was a hamster and your father smells of elderberries" And no I never watched emily in Paris
While i fully believe sex work is real work and needs to be respected I hate how media likes this makes it seem like trans woman, especially black trans woman, only do sex work and have no other jobs or passions. It is disgusting how some people cannot imagine a trans woman living any other way.
@@ItsDaJax Stereotypes do, in fact, often come from nowhere. The issue is that all trans women (two words) are depicted as being sex workers and no attempt is ever made to examine why this might be other than "deviants gonna deviant".
@@ItsDaJaxStereotypes don't carry the context as to why the thing they're stereotyping is common in the first place. The problem with stereotypes isn't that they address an issue, it's that they demonize it.
@@lukebytes5366 I know. Despite there being any slight truth to them, they aren't a good thing. All this, as intriguing as it is on the subject, is beyond the simple point I was trying to make, though.
they DO IN FACT NOT HAVE - because of racism meeting transphobia. actually those are in fact quite ... self-exposing individuals you can hear from afar, its not a lie or made up or exaggerated - it is actually the common case (sadly). we should stop beeing offended by the truth and WORK on those truths (for example ending racism and transphobia so black trans women do not have to be prostitutes)
Thank you Lily for suffering through the transphobic episode for us! I think the SATC episode might be even more transphobic than some of the other shows of that time period. The way they addressed them with the correct pronouns in person but then misgendered them in private is especially disheartening.
I'm Gen Z (currently 20) and it was an insane experience watching SATC the past year. Everything from tiny things like not knowing what a diaphragm is & not know celebrities to things like this & the bi episode. I'm always on the lookout for more video essays abt SATC bc theres so much to unpack. Great to see a youtuber I like make such an important one.
I'm 41 currently and was a little late to the party watching SaTC, so in the later 00s after it finished in my mid/late 20s. I wonder if this is a common Xennial memory but a lot of media was vague thoughts of "this is okay....I guess?" For the trans and bi episodes. And growing up as a white cis girl 80s/90s kid when there were a bunch of boy characters in a show and happy when there was a token girl. Just this vague feeling kind of crappy about it but "this is okay I guess." God knows I got more relatable characters than a lot of kids. Yeah it was just cartoons and stuff but studies back up the crap feelings kids have when they never/rarely see kids from their demographics in their shows. I get really tired of the woke complainers. Just let some dudes start the cis/het white guy entertainment network and ask everyone else to sign off on it to shut them up!
I really hope that you look at The L Word's episode on trans men next! Cause it covers transphobia within the lesbian community, much like the writing of these episodes highlight the bi and transphobia within the cis gay community. As someone who had gay friends in the mid 00s that were OBSESSED with Sex in the City and made jokes ripped from those episodes, those comments kept me in the closet a long while, even as a trans man. Always love what you do, Lily!
the pre-op and post-op thing reminded me of when a random guy DM'd my mother's transfem friend asking if she had "The Surgery" as a way to flirt?? when she said no, the guy said "oh so you're still a man, ew" excuse me????? YOU were the one hitting on her, shut up and go away sir.
May we please have the "Leave trans people alone" as a still image or a GIF that we can post to places like Threads and Facebook? Oh, on a side note, I HATED this show. I watched only a couple of minutes and felt my IQ dip 50 points. It was so freaking stupid.
I watched an anime called Kabukichou Sherlock a couple years back. I think it might display the most horrific incident of transphobia Ive ever seen on screen. It also exemplifies the specific nature of japanese transphobia. The show builds up very relatable characters, even somewhat identifies the difference between trans people and drag. There is even a man who falls in love with a trans woman, and he really recognizes her womanhood. Then it turns itself on its head. Not only is the one of the trans characters jack the ripper, not only are they removing peoples wombs out of resentment for afab women, the transphobic tirade at the end was one of the most horrible things ive heard on screen. Its a good example because it does a good job of making the characters relatable and developed enough to get people to ignore the hateful aspects right on the surface. Then it hits you with an absolute bludgeon of a reminder
Sounds just like one of JKR's new books where the murderer is a man who dresses as a woman to get close to said women to kill them. These transphobic book/tv show writers are not being very original and are spreading misinformation and fearmongering that has been disproven for decades. Men who want to hurt women will just do so, they won't go through the effort of pretending to be a woman.
Thought you meant the Sherlock anime „moriarty the patriot“ for a second there.. cause this anime is actually really good and has a trans character who is just accepted. (Except by one person who’s like: change in a room with a woman??? And the other characters are just like: what woman?) so yeah. Can recommend it to anyone
that's a really similar trope to wyat happened when it comes to Grelle (a trans woman) and Madame Red in Black Butler and it demonizes both trans women and women who may have issues getting pregnant (like Madame Red)
Sex and the city is bizarre when it comes to its lgbt representation. Later in the series, Samantha is confirmed to be bisexual as she has a relationship with a woman. Even that relationship is handled poorly as it makes Samantha’s lover possessive and aggressive. The series also has Carrie’s and Charlotte’s gay best friends who are just walking stereotypes.
I’ve definitely come across white people who will intimidate or confuse one black person into giving them “permission” to say something terrible then run with it against every even slightly melanated individual they come across. I’ve even had people use the “permission” of random rappers or people from counties where that language isn’t offensive then get mad if it’s “revoked” if I’ve dealt with all that these characters would likely have dealt with way worse from clients with cliché ideas of them so if a cringy lady who’s friend literally called the cops on them all after pretty much hate crimeing them came up and said something low-key offensive but probably unintentionally so, I can see why their response is pretty much roll with it to keep on their good side then avoid them from then on. Edit: I almost wonder if some of it is based off a white writer’s perspective of real interactions.
I think this was one of my first exposures to explicitly trans characters (bearing in mind I was faaaaar too young to be watching this show) and at the time the cultural context made it seem so normal and even witty for these gross little quips to be made. Watching now it's like "wow okay so all four of you are actual demons huh? wild". Also, idk if you know this and have tried it already, but you can select and deselect the kinds of ads that play on your videos, although if you want to keep stealing ad revenue from shitty companies that is a pretty strong flex.
i always find the way bisexual men are portrayed and the impact the aids crisis had on how we view bi men incredibly interesting, and the sex in the city episode seems to fall into a lot of that. also i noticed the sock, if anything i was impressed by your creativity
Oh, absolutely, and I was glad Lily included the bi episode here. I’ve been thinking about this recently because I just finished binging Halt and Catch Fire (had never gotten the chance to watch the last couple of seasons when it was originally on), and had completely forgotten that one of the main characters, Joe, is bi. It’s a really good portrayal, nuanced and complex, and almost completely eschews the standard bs biphobic stereotypes. (Which is pretty remarkable considering the show is set from the early 80s to mid 90s!) The only thing I would have liked more of was actually showing some of his serious relationships with men more directly-they’re talked about and acknowledged, but his interactions with men onscreen are far more brief. Still, I was really impressed, and it really illustrated just how few bi masculine characters I ever see in any meaningful way.
I was hoping, maybe, that trans actors might have played at least one of the sex workers. Nope. The most notable named character, Chyna, is the first acting role for a guy named T. Oliver Reid, a later TV actor.
7:09 to 8:21 feels weird to leave out the cis woman writer out of this discussion. Cis woman can, and *very often* are just as transphobic as cis men and often at equal volume close to equal numbers. She wrote this episode too, she contributed to the transphobia.
I think it was more that cis gay people contributed to the transphobia, not just cis straight people that have no/less experience dealing with trans issues/know trans people.
@@melodramaticllama1515 id agree but she singled the gay men out, mentioned them especially for their "being closer to the community". I see this a lot where cis women kinda have their transphobia/bigotry glossed over
@@ghostofmisao. Yes, so why skim over their contributions to said transphobia in the writing room. Im not offering this is major criticism, I said it struck me as odd and that's what I meant
@@transagentcooper8041If I had to guess, I'd say it's because it's very easy to imagine a cis woman being transphobic, while gay men may be a less obvious pick, hence why she focussed on them.
6:25 what you said here is why I didn’t realise I was trans until my late 20s. I was raised on a diet of Friends and South Park and didn’t realise that my trans feelings weren’t the same thing as gay feelings. They were presented to me as the same thing throughout my teens.
Haven't finished the video yet, but thank you for reviewing the two most loathsome episodes of the series besides the episode where Samantha dates a black guy and the guy's sister is ~reverse racist~ towards her and the episode where Carrie is shamed by Aidan for getting an abortion when she was 19.
@@mariosanchezgumiel7757 That’s an odd reply. Are you saying that people can’t have complicated feelings about content that they like? Also, why are you being so dismissive of a queer person being critical of a 20+ year old show in the comments of a video that is also being critical of said show?
You know what's so godawful about the rooster - trans woman parallel? Chickens are very trans inclusive. Many-a-time will hens take the roles of roosters and some will actually express themselves more rooster-like, while some roosters also behave like hens. While it's not directly the exact same case, especially since chickens can experience internal hormone changes, a portion of this is still cultural and part of gender expression. So not only is their joke horrible, the chickens in the cages would disagree with the whole shtick. Chickens - better people than some humans.
"It's so much like having the voice of god hovering over you and occasionally throwing out really bigoted sentences or slur words"- no, I would never!! It's the other god doing that. The one pretending to be the only one. /j
So...these writers expect us to like and sympathise with one of the main characters who behaves like this? You want us to LIKE this?? Nah, I'll stick with my autistic lesbians, kind gay men, wholesome trans people, funniest asexual people I've ever met and cute monsters/aliens, thank you very much.
Why did they have to be black as well? Like it only works to make the episode more uncomfortable and reinforce racist stereotypes about black women being loud and annoying.
What I find so bizarre about the bisexual episode is that this "oh those wacky young people what with their bisexuality" story is about Generation X... the exact same age cohort as Carrie, Miranda and Charlotte. Sean and the rest of the "kids" are in their early twenties and at most maybe a dozen years younger than our leads, maybe less. I understand that generational cohorts are essentially just a bunch of numbers and obviously the episode has far bigger problems but still that is a very narrow age gap for a 'generational clash' sort of story.
As someone in their mid thirties, I feel very disconnected to people in their twenties. Before boomers really started to hate on millennials (my generation), generations weren't brought up much in discussions like these.
@@sorapokeball I think that's partly down to the extraordinarily rapid shifts in technology and social views that have taken place comparatively recently. I'm a xennial (I was born in late 1981) and was 19 before I got a mobile phone, went through the entirety of college before social media was a thing and was past 30 before I got a smart phone. In a very real way my experiences as a teen and a young adult are more similar to someone ten years older than me than someone ten years younger than me. To get back to the episode Carrie would have entered in her twenties in the mid-80s and Sean would have entered his twenties in the mid to late 90s. Yes there was cultural change and yes a decade plus probably does feel a lot when it comes to dating but not really the warp speed level of change that you might see in a 12 year gap now.
A friend of mine recommended this show to me recently. I will not be watching it now. I know "it was a different time back then" but fuck me running I refuse to put myself thru that.
My friend (cis gay) and I(trans demi) spend a lot of our time binging random shows together and we are currently binging sex and the city and it is actually not only transphobic/biphobic on these episodes sometimes you get blasted back to back to back with random shit. It almost feels like they went out of their way to make a lot of the transphobic/biphobic/homophobic and racist "jokes" it's been almost impossible to watch sometimes it's gotten to the point where I don't think I can continue this show anymore it's horrible.
I never liked sex and the city, it is extremely superficial in every aspect and honestly not even good. I can do superficial, I like superficial when I just want to have fun, but it needs to be good
This has got to be the most cringe inducing show you've talked about yet. The biphobia and transphobia is terrible, but I'm also offend by the fact the woman kissed Alanis Morrisette and was like "eh, not for me" like girl??? Do you know what you're missing.
Ngl that ending to the bi episode reads as very sad to me, like she herself might even be bi, but she uses her age as a reason not to explore it. It reminds me of the phrase i once heard in a gay comic: this closet will be my tomb.
love your videos 💖💖 have you ever seen MASH? it’s a sitcom/drama from the 70s about a mobile army surgical hospital (mash) during the korean war and one of the main characters Klinger spends 11 seasons wearing dresses as a way to get out of the army “for being crazy” anyway love ur vids ❤
"She called the cops on black trans sex workers" Ok, I'm a white trans NB person who never saw the appeal of this show and never watched it, but is aware we have a racism problem in the trans community and have also seen too many white trans women say they are a "Samantha," I am very troubled by all of this. I know it's just one episode of a show that had I don't know have many season but still, they didn't write this episode with Samantha being the one who did this for no reason.
I think an interview with the actresses that portrayed the trans sex workers would be interesting to see. Did they know they were going to be portrayed like this? What was their reaction to the script (if they ever saw it in full)? Etc.
Oh wait i didn't know about this bi episode. i was thinking you were gonna talk about the episode (The Cheating Curve [S02E06]) where Charlotte joins a bunch of lesbians to be around women more or something super biphobic. and towards the end someone asks her if she's gay and it seemed like Charlotte was questioning still based on her response (seems like she is possibly bi romantic based on her response), and the woman responds with "If you’re not going to eat pussy You’re not a dyke" which is also extremely transphobic. I haven't seen many epsidoes of sex and the city, but that line stuck for me (as a now trans feminine bi person) when I first saw it in 1999 (I was in HS). I feel like nothing about this show aged well and I felt it at the time. like even when that episode aired i was like what does going eating someone out have to do with being attracted to women?! what if you don't want to do that but you are happy to use your fingers or toys or something, I swear this show is so awful!
That was the first episode I ever saw, and as a questioning teen girl, it threw me for a loop. I'm bi/pan, but I swear this show is partly responsible for me being closeted for as long as I was.
@@angrynerdgirl oh for sure! I doubt you are the only one too ❤️. Most media from the 90s and 2000s made me retreat more into my shell of who I am. I feel like this was a common experience for many trans people and def for bi+ people too.
It makes me so sad when marginalized groups (in this case the women and gay men writing the show) who get a platform use that platform to perform the same marginalization on groups that are "below" them in the pecking order. Don't get me wrong, the actually powerful are the real issue still, but with them (us, technically) I get angry instead.
I really don't understand why people are so weird about bi people. Like, what is so hard for people to understand? Is it just because I'm bi that being bi makes so much sense?
As a fellow bi person, I think a lot of biphobia comes from the fear of not adhering to strict boundaries. I think some people, because of repressive gender expectations, either can't imagine or don't like the idea of their or others' attraction being able to cross between genders. It of course also has roots in homophobia, but more importantly in 'us vs. them' mentalities.
I'm pan here & my theory is that some gay rights activists put a lot of energy into "this isn't a choice!" So bi/pan+ go against the narrative (though I didn't choose either.) Same theory for transmedicalists who are trans themselves. Fighting this hard to access for gender affirming care to be legal & affordable, then finding out some trans folks (like me) don't need or want the medical route? It's got to make them fear that the medical options will be even harder to obtain if some trans folks don't go that direction. The thing is I advocate very strongly for the medical care to be available (I even worked for years within the medical industry fighting for this access to gender affirming care) so transmedicalists don't need to turn against their own community over this.
i saw this video when it was first uploaded with a title like "the sex and the city trans episode" and while I think the new title is better even the old title was enough for me to go "Oh No" and boy was I not disappointed with how bad it truly was
Isn’t Samantha possibly bi? I mean she is clearly on the bi spectrum. Maybe she is a bit abrosexual, maybe more straight than equally attracted to men and women. Maybe bi but suffering from internalized homophobia/biphobia. I mean she keeps having sex with and dating women (later no she “tries” again) and in fact gets into a whole relationship, and it is never clarified whether her college bisexuality was a one night stand or a recurring thing. Plus her sapphic relationship seems to be more romantic than most of her heterosexual relationships. Given that, I kind of think she is also a victim of the events in this god awful episode. It’s one thing if a woman dumps you for being openly bi. It is quite another if your three closest friends and closest humans for that matter are biphobic while you yourself aren’t quite free of your own internalized homophobia and biphobia.
Really hope to see you cover a trans episode from greys anatomy! There are 2 (sort of a third but it isnt as blatant) episodes I can think of off the top of my head and from what I remember they were all pretty good rep. Could be a sort of break from the horrors like in this episode.
I was surprised/thrilled when they added in gay/bi characters, and even more so when they added a nonbinary character for one of the main cast's love interests. Now, they also don't always handle things in a kind way, but it is nice seeing representation.
What pissed me off most about this is Samantha only moved to the meat packing district because people in her old building were judging her love life. Like she actively chose to buy the new place there - she has the financial capital to make a decisive choice. For someone who claims to be so free thinking, i felt so disappointed and disgusted as well as wondering if she was just a vehicle for the writers’ transphobia, racism and sex worker discrimination.
Had to click play on this one twice. For some reason the first time I clicked the thumbnail it started playing a Coley Does Things video I'd already watched. Two days ago. WTH TH-cam?
I've only started the video but the comparison between the TMNT and SATC reminded me of an old after hours episode from cracked. Made me chuckle, nice work Lily!
No the trans episode genuinely makes me sick. It’s the same nice in person, awful in private that reminds me of a girl I know- all polite in social situations, but the second she feels safe starts talking about social contagion, them going to hell and genital mutilation
its infuriating that they had to take a mostly relatable plot element (learning how to compromise with loud neighbors) and make the episode...this. it's like the writers had come up with a bunch of transphobic zingers and wanted to find somewhere to put them.
hey lily, I would be very happy to see a video about the trans representation of Hunter x Hunter. I think it's one of the best in anime history. It's not like most series that this is a trans episode. It's about Alluka, Killua's sister, it's never really explicitly mentioned that she's trans but it's obvious. She is not accepted as part of the family by some family members, who constantly address her as He. Killua is the only one who accepts Alluka and has a good relationship with her. who also addresses Alluka with the correct pronouns and also introduces her as his sister. I understand that it was never clearly stated that she is trans, but I think that's what makes Alluka so brilliant as a character. Because I see myself in Alluka, everyone in my family except my brother doesn't accept me and often hardly anyone around me understands me. as if I were a different being (which is partly true for Alluka, as she shares a body with a being from another continent) and just like with Alluka, I never say that I am trans and it is not a significant part of my everyday life, but What is often noticeable is how others see me and how they talk about me. (translate from German to English with Google translate)
I love the relationship between Alluka and Killua. I can't believe the family keeps her in the fucking basement (I mean, I CAN given their family but still)
Oh, that arc is great. I do think it works best as this really cathartic capstone to the preceding Chimera Ant arc, which is way longer than I'd demand of anyone doing something like this, but it really does hit like a tonne of bricks.
My mom is a really huge fan of this show, especially when it was around during the 90s/00s. Seeing this video and finding out about the bi-phobic episode put a huge realisation in my head. My mom is also someone who doesn't fully believe in the concept of bisexuality and she is slightly opposed the idea that you can be attracted to more than one gender (basically the whole "either one or the other" argument). All of the women's talking points you listed (about "bi guys turning out to be gay" or it being "just a phase") sounded so eerily similiar to the kind of opinions my mom has, so it is absolutely safe to assume that her view on bisexuality came from this show. Just one of the examples as to how this sort of stuff can actually affect people in the long run. In terms of the trans side of things, that I'm not too sure about. She doesn't hate trans people nor is she homophobic or anti-queer in general, but she definitely still has a few "outdated" ideas about trans people (but I don't think that's necessarily from watching 'Sex and the City" and it could just be the case of being kind of out of touch).
My mother used to watch this show religiously when I was a kid and it became a very sweet memory for me... so when I came back to revisit it as an adult for fond memories and realized how actually uncomfortable and awful it was at times... especially from a queer perspective. Which is fair for majority of old shows, but still qwq
Adding a second comment to note the irony of Miranda's actress being bisexual in real life. I wonder if she was "out" at the time the bisexual episode was being filmed. I know she married a woman in real life. Also there was a pretty long show arc where Samantha dates a lesbian & so Samantha calling herself a "try-sexual" in the bisexual episode might have been foreshadowing?
If you're looking for video ideas I'd be really interested to hear your thoughts on how The L Word handles trans characters and stories, especially when comparing the original series from the 2000s with the 2020s revival.
Hoping Lily gets to reviewing the trans episodes of Ally McBeal. They felt good for TV at the time but I know there has to be some discussion brought up by them.
having seen the show in the last five years it is definitely problematic and uncomfortable in a lot of places, but having a trans recurring character is sort of interesting
And the trans woman on Ally McBeal is played by an attractive cis woman. Lily has mentioned that while it's best to have trans women played by trans women, having cis women play them is still way better than casting cis men.
Grab Atlas VPN for just $1.70/mo + 6 months extra before the BLACK FRIDAY deal expires: get.atlasvpn.com/LilySimpson
Ok
whooo! Glad you got a sponsor, hope it helps
YESSSS LILY GET THAT BAG
I asume you are between a leonardo and donatello?! With mikeys humor. :P
Lily, I just need you to know that so many of these shows that paint trans people in a negative light were a big reason I repressed being trans all my life. These videos have helped me cope with how I used to feel a lot, and I thank you with all my heart.
As a painfully monogamous Bisexual, I really always hated the "Greedy" narrative. Like your straight-ass boyfriend is attracted to different kinds of women, what's the difference?
Same lmao, I've had boyfriends ask if I "need" to be with women too and I'm like "do you like both blondes and redheads? But you don't feel like you *need* a redhead on the side? Same shit."
As another monogamous bisexual I always hated the whole "pick a lane" arguement, like who we end up being with determines our sexuality supposedly or that we can't even make up our minds.
Like yeah I'm in a relationship with a guy, I'm still a bisexual, I still find women to be attractive that doesn't mean I'm gonna go and though myself at them just cause I can't make up my mind 🙃
and every woman at that table has dated a straight cis man who cheated on them, but they make it out as a bi problem ughhhh
It's so interesting to me that Two and a Half Men had a kinder and more nuanced handling of their trans character than the show that prided itself on being progressive-minded
Right
Is it like that in other aspects too, or was that just a coincidence?
There is actually another trans episode of two and a half men where alans girlfriend comes out as trans after they sleep together and alan shows the bare minimum respect and immediately outs her to several people..so some respect is shown by Alan(who doesn't break up with her)...but she is still the main joke of the entire episode
@ovenknees4410 those are the kind of antics I was bracing myself for with the first review. It's another interesting look into what comedy writers find "funny" about trans men vs what they find "funny" about trans women, the latter of which seemingly getting the worst comingling of homophobia and misogyny particularly when they start as the object of sexual desire (see also: the House ep)
Yep!!
The show having 2 gay writers shows some people just want to be the ones wearing the boot
Gays think if the dems just dimp the trans everything will be ok. No . The maga movement will simply turn their focus on gays once trans is dropped
There's another episode where Charlotte loves a man because he's straight, but acts "gay". She then breaks up with him suddenly in the end because he's scared of a rat
I remember that! Like who wouldn’t be afraid of a rat? They can carry diseases and stuff! City rats, I know they can be cute pets
Rats are the best little creatures
"Everyone's a feminist until there is a spider around!" Or in this case a rat!
@@SithVampireQueenthiiis
I have friends with pet rats and that's totally chill because I'm way less likely to get a disease from hers than from in a back alley.
My favourite animal is the snake, though, so I HAVE to understand the distinction between wild/city animals and pets 😩
The most offensive part of it is that samantha moved to a recently gentrified area of new york and then whines about the locals who had been there for ages being heavily discrimindated. I took a seminar on SATC and feminism and we talked about the cockadoodledoo episode for 3h or so. Something noteworthy is also that in all other episodes there are no any well-presented black people that arent super spiteful or bitchy. SATC is interesting and somewhat revolutionary when it comes to the issues of privileged 30s white ciswomen (Abortion, difficulties with sex, dating, marriage...) but as soon as other intersections are thrown into the mix they get all unhinged. It's also pretty interesting that even intersections relevant to the cast are somewhat weirdly represented. All gay men have the same personality, jewish people sweat a lot and anne frank jokes, yada yada (Carrie's actress has jewish roots if my mind serves me right)
I think it's generous to call it revolutionary even as it pertains to privileged 30s white ciswomen. I AM a single, white, ciswoman in my 30s. This show came out when I was in college and ran while I was literally living out the experience of being a single ciswoman in New York City. I AM the target demographic. And 20 years after it ended, I am STILL resentful of the way this show presumed to speak for me. The characters, each with their distinct, ninja turtle personalities, were supposed to represent the full spectrum of single women* and their dating experiences, and even if we ignore that "*white, privileged, straight, cis" little asterisk, the differences between these women are ultimately very superficial. They all sort of have the same relationship to sex, dating, romance and relationships. They all pursue it in sort of the same way, on the same timeline, and give it the same importance in their lives. As a timid demisexual it annoyed me - AND STILL ANNOYS ME - that the only approach to relationships that was every recognized by the show was to serially date and f*ck dozens of men every month. And then obsess about every detail of their romantic lives over brunch with each other. There's one episode where Miranda is annoyed the whole episode because all they do is talk about men, and then they continue to exclusively talk about men for another, like, four seasons. Yeah, this show is a feminist masterpiece. And then, despite all of that, they still manage to make judgmental comments about other people's sex lives and slut-shame Samantha all the frickin' time! WHAT EVEN IS THIS SHOW.
@@joyfulgirl40018it's almost like the entire show was normalizing sex talk with women and normalizing being single and dating around and sleeping around
@@katc2040 I understand what they were trying to do, and I think you missed the point of my comment.
I'm a bisexual woman and biphobia can come out of the strangest places. My mother-in-law is not speaking to me because I got interviewed at a pride parade and I said I was bisexual and she doesn't believe bisexuals exist. Her son is gay and she is super supportive of him but she is super anti bisexual.
Edit - *Thank you, Lily for bringing up the biphobia in this show while diving into the transphobia in this show as well as for every video you create!*
My grandmother is like this, and my mother is bisexual but because she was only openly with men for years my grandma's convinced she was secretly a lesbian. My mom has been in a relationship with a woman for the last 4 years, and I've been openly bisexual since I was around 13 and that's apparently not normal but my mom being a "lesbian" is fine lol. My grandmother even sl//t shamed me because I'm attracted to both genders...
@@sageofspace I'm sorry you have to deal with that. My own grandmother no longer has a relationship with me because I'm bisexual but in a messed up way at least she acknowledges me as bisexual. She's just dead against it and so has given up on me. My MIL wants me to literally apologize for coming out as bisexual and I don't know I guess pretend I'm not? You do not deserved to be sl//t shamed EVER! That's messed up you have to deal with that, both you and your mom.
I feel that some of the heteros from previous generations really internalized the “born this way” message to mean “pity the poooor lil gays because they cannot help it”, but then they think bi people should be closeted because they have the option of only pursuing straight-passing relationships.
It’s like a layer cake of illogic, just to cling to a set of prejudices that are not only unjust, but lost their patina of social acceptability a hot minute ago.
Plus, sad to say, some of those older biphobes are bi or pan themselves and bitter that most younger people have more freedom than they ever considered for themselves.
when i was discovering myself i told my mom i was bi, she seemingly accepted it, but when i later understood myself better and said i was a lesbian she said "finally decided and stopped being confused and going for both" (i could not replicate the exact way she said) basically she was secretelly thinking the whole time that i was only bi until i found someone i liked and was going to just decide my sexuality then
@@sofiadias7352 Urgh, that's the worse. When people think you have to "choose" as if once a straight person is married they never find anyone else but their spouse attractive. I actually got to skip quite a bit of that worry with my husband and mom. When I came out to my husband and said "I think I'm bisexual" he didn't even bother stopping his video game just answering "Yeah, I know. I was just waiting for you to figure it out." My mom sorta outed me by asking when I was going to tell her I was bisexual. In both cases when I asked how they knew they both answered my best friend's name who I have had a I guess not as subtle looking as I thought crush on since I was a little girl. I think my MIL is like your mom thought wise (minus the seeming acceptance) I think she thinks I'm secretly a lesbian that's going to leave her son because if not then I must be straight. My mom just thinks I'm poly (she's not completely off on that one). Honestly at the end of the day it blows my mind that people think bisexuals need to "choose" a side. It's not like that's applicable to any other aspect of human relationships. You aren't expected to "choose" liking and having one friend in life after all. I can't "choose" who I'm attracted to so why is it such a problem to other people who will never be impacted by my sexuality?
I was definitely not expecting "She calls the fucking cops" levels of villainy. Incredible.
Samantha? More like karen
As a pan dude, if I am single I am a liar either trying to pretend to be LGBT or trying to seem exotic, if I am with a woman I am tricking her or trying to trick real LGBT people. If I am with a man I am admiting I am actually secretly gay. Life sure is fun
That's legit the exact reason why it took me so long to accept myself as bi despite knowing from the day I started feeling attraction to people.
AND put the transphobia on as a nice dollop of dook on top of the whole twisted trash-can ice-cream.
As a pan dude, I feel your pain. I've married a cis-pan woman, and guess what? People don't even believe I'm pan. My sexuality is completely erased by my family because they think I "went straight". Like, no, cis woman is actually one of the genders I'm into. As well as all of the other ones.
It never seems to get any easier. I need the queer community to stay sane and remember who I am, because no one else ever acknowledges it.
sounds like your only option is polyamory with a woman and a man at the same time! but no.. that also won't work because people will say you're greedy. no way to win
my boyfriend and I are both bi but our relationship appears straight so.. I feel you
I’m a mostly straight bisexual so I don’t get taken seriously by the LGBTQ community at all.
That is the worse. Because then you have family members that either think you actually "straight" or secretly "gay". In a messed up way I actually find the family members that have shunned me because of my bisexuality more comforting because at least they acknowledge my sexuality even if they resent me for it.
From now on, I'll be referring to all cis people as "pre-op" and "post-op" depending on if they have had an appendectomy or not
Can I be no op?
Pre-op ✌️
And I’m sure you’ll be 100% correct in your assumptions because “you can always tell” 😂
Do it w plastic surgery girlies and watch the panic set in
@Awsome101Girl what a nightmare😭
For a show that was supposed to be progressive about sex they sure did a lot of shaming about certain sex acts
Fr, even between the women of the show
if the antagonist of your episode is "women being kinda loud who moved down the block when asked" and meanwhile your protagonists are making fun of them and saying rude things, it seems the episode has identified the wrong people as the antagonists...
This doesn't really have anything to do with the Sex and the City episode and discussion, but I just remembered the episode from Will and Grace "An Affair to Forget" where Jack gets a lap dance from a female stripper at a bachelor party and is horrified when he gets turned on (worried that he might be "turning straight"). He's then relieved to find out that the stripper is trans and pre-surgery. It's basically just a different take on the "man reacts to finding out he's attracted to a trans woman" trope except this time the man is relieved by the revelation instead of horrified. It still relies on the assumption that trans women (especially if they haven't had surgery) are still at least partially men
Wow I think I remember this episode. I hope Lily takes a look at it one day!
That‘s so fucked up.😕
You know, these are two episodes out of like, 70? It's problematic sometimes; there are other eps with biphobia in it, and on top of that the whole show is extremely bourgeois with privilege being taken for granted. But overall it's a good show, full of fun, deep, and even empowering moments. Samantha is super cool when you look at the whole thing.
@@astralseaslug546 That comment might be better included in the general comment section rather than this reply thread since I was specifically talking about a Will and Grace episode
@@astralseaslug546Even if so, who the hell cares? If you like any of these shows, cool. Generations who aren't biased towards these shows because they were on since we were young have every right to be critical of them though. Millennials/Gen Xers call younger people over critical and sensitive for criticizing their media, when we criticize our media too, we do entire deep dives on why our shows suck. Hollyweird is filled with bigotry, always has been, hell it's built on it. You can enjoy your media while acknowledging this.
There was a weird narrative when I grew up watching shows that bisexuals didn’t exist and were just closeted gays struggling to fully commit. This wasn’t just here but everywhere. I think Will and Grace did an apology episode about this when they rebooted. It was weird to see one group of people struggling with being accepted attack another group but I guess it was to combat the perception that you could choose your sexual preference back then.
I still find it weird, that people still think this.
Personally i haven't met this prejudice in real life, since i came out, but i sure do know a lot of people who have
I'm currently watching Buffy and they had such a fantastic build up of bisexual Willow, only to call her a lesbian for the rest of the show, just because the network didn't want her to be bi back then. Bi-erasure was really big.
@TemariNaraannaschatz the bi-erasure is even worse in the comics. Spoilers below.
In the comics, Buffy has a brief sexual relationship with a woman. It isn't a serious relationship, but as far as we see she does genuinely like the other girl and enjoys their time together, and the reasons she gives for breaking it off have nothing to do with not being attracted to women and are instead about the personal issues she was going through at the time.
From then onwards, the comics insist the whole thing diddnt count because "Buffy isn't gay" (other characters straight up say exactly that to her face). The idea that she could genuinely like women is treated as ridiculous for seemingly no reason.
calling the cops on people just because you found them annoying is fucking horrifying, even by 2000s standards
Really? In my country if you’re making noise after 10PM in residential areas you’re breaking the law explicitly
@@hypatiakovalevskayasklodow9195In your country does calling the cops on a minority group directly endanger their lives?
@@pikgearsNVM I am half into the video and I get it now your comment wasn’t about making noise. i had a very dumb moment there
@@pikgearsit very likely does. i did NOT remember most of this episode
@@ItsDaJax the show takes place in nyc if u need quiet to sleep buy earplugs or dont live in nyc
I saw the biphobic episode of this show first, while hanging out with some friends while Sex and the City was playing in the background, and I was so insulted (as a bi cis girl) that I never wanted to watch another episode of this shit again. My other friends kept watching it, though, and kept calling me "a Samantha." I never understood why; and now that I see her horrible transphobia, I am even more insulted for having been compared to her in any context.
there is a storyline later on in the show, which hopefully is what they were referring to, where Samantha has a serious sexual and romantic relationship with a woman for a few episodes and she goes through a lot of growth thanks to it, as before she was only interested in casual sex. sounds great, right? well, the show treats the whole thing like an absolute fucking joke, at some point one of her friends says that she's dating her to spite them??? ? ? and of course her queerness is never addressed again i would even argue it wasn't really addressed as it was happening
@croissantjpg4888 did we even watch the same show? Yall see so black and white it's actually sad
I'm only 25 seconds in but "for your information, I'm a queer" has me cackling
As a black, trans nonbinary, bi person, this episode was rrooougghhh for me
Grew up with this show and it was so white and cishet normative. I did not see why my mum enjoyed it at all. I'm sorry that people write this kind of stuff that actively villainizes people like you and I.
Makes sense 😊
@facethreetimes FR! and there were trans people in the media that was portrayed very well as Lilly has shown before so there really isn't an excuse
Has... Has Lily always been talking into a sock? Why is it just now that I can't stop fixating on how the mic is dressed in an oversized hat? Awesome video as usual ✨
lol socks are good pop filters, its prob jsut temporary until she gets one haha
Best representation of French people is easily: "your mother was a hamster and your father smells of elderberries"
And no I never watched emily in Paris
I mean, they do have those out-RAY-geous accents! And of course, they *will* taunt you a second time… 😳
best representation of French people is 'allo 'allo
@@zljmbo wus al' dis den?
Rough episode. Whether you're a Samantha or a Miranda, don't be a transphobic Karen.
While i fully believe sex work is real work and needs to be respected
I hate how media likes this makes it seem like trans woman, especially black trans woman, only do sex work and have no other jobs or passions.
It is disgusting how some people cannot imagine a trans woman living any other way.
@@ItsDaJax Stereotypes do, in fact, often come from nowhere. The issue is that all trans women (two words) are depicted as being sex workers and no attempt is ever made to examine why this might be other than "deviants gonna deviant".
@@Nat_778 I know. I've known quite a few transfolk- even dated some. Hence the push of making such things supported under medicare and medicaid.
@@ItsDaJaxStereotypes don't carry the context as to why the thing they're stereotyping is common in the first place. The problem with stereotypes isn't that they address an issue, it's that they demonize it.
@@lukebytes5366 I know. Despite there being any slight truth to them, they aren't a good thing. All this, as intriguing as it is on the subject, is beyond the simple point I was trying to make, though.
they DO IN FACT NOT HAVE - because of racism meeting transphobia.
actually those are in fact quite ... self-exposing individuals you can hear from afar, its not a lie or made up or exaggerated - it is actually the common case (sadly). we should stop beeing offended by the truth and WORK on those truths (for example ending racism and transphobia so black trans women do not have to be prostitutes)
Thank you Lily for suffering through the transphobic episode for us! I think the SATC episode might be even more transphobic than some of the other shows of that time period. The way they addressed them with the correct pronouns in person but then misgendered them in private is especially disheartening.
I'm Gen Z (currently 20) and it was an insane experience watching SATC the past year. Everything from tiny things like not knowing what a diaphragm is & not know celebrities to things like this & the bi episode. I'm always on the lookout for more video essays abt SATC bc theres so much to unpack. Great to see a youtuber I like make such an important one.
I'm 41 currently and was a little late to the party watching SaTC, so in the later 00s after it finished in my mid/late 20s.
I wonder if this is a common Xennial memory but a lot of media was vague thoughts of "this is okay....I guess?" For the trans and bi episodes. And growing up as a white cis girl 80s/90s kid when there were a bunch of boy characters in a show and happy when there was a token girl. Just this vague feeling kind of crappy about it but "this is okay I guess." God knows I got more relatable characters than a lot of kids. Yeah it was just cartoons and stuff but studies back up the crap feelings kids have when they never/rarely see kids from their demographics in their shows.
I get really tired of the woke complainers. Just let some dudes start the cis/het white guy entertainment network and ask everyone else to sign off on it to shut them up!
God I hate it when people say "pre-op transexual"
I really hope that you look at The L Word's episode on trans men next! Cause it covers transphobia within the lesbian community, much like the writing of these episodes highlight the bi and transphobia within the cis gay community.
As someone who had gay friends in the mid 00s that were OBSESSED with Sex in the City and made jokes ripped from those episodes, those comments kept me in the closet a long while, even as a trans man. Always love what you do, Lily!
the pre-op and post-op thing reminded me of when a random guy DM'd my mother's transfem friend asking if she had "The Surgery" as a way to flirt?? when she said no, the guy said "oh so you're still a man, ew"
excuse me????? YOU were the one hitting on her, shut up and go away sir.
May we please have the "Leave trans people alone" as a still image or a GIF that we can post to places like Threads and Facebook?
Oh, on a side note, I HATED this show. I watched only a couple of minutes and felt my IQ dip 50 points. It was so freaking stupid.
i'd buy that as a print honestly
I'm imagining a trans flag background and the text then scrawls across it in a rainbow shape that sounds great! /gen 😊
You can see the real karen energy by the fact that she is the only one on the street taking issue with the sex workers
Lily Yesterday: My PC is dying!
Lily Today: I've been googling Lady Demitrescu feet without protection!
Huh? 😭
@@jordanstark5924
Lily Yesterday: My PC is dying!
Lily Today: I've been googling Lady Demitrescu feet without protection!
Just a coincidence I’m sure 😂
I watched an anime called Kabukichou Sherlock a couple years back. I think it might display the most horrific incident of transphobia Ive ever seen on screen. It also exemplifies the specific nature of japanese transphobia.
The show builds up very relatable characters, even somewhat identifies the difference between trans people and drag. There is even a man who falls in love with a trans woman, and he really recognizes her womanhood. Then it turns itself on its head. Not only is the one of the trans characters jack the ripper, not only are they removing peoples wombs out of resentment for afab women, the transphobic tirade at the end was one of the most horrible things ive heard on screen.
Its a good example because it does a good job of making the characters relatable and developed enough to get people to ignore the hateful aspects right on the surface. Then it hits you with an absolute bludgeon of a reminder
Sounds just like one of JKR's new books where the murderer is a man who dresses as a woman to get close to said women to kill them. These transphobic book/tv show writers are not being very original and are spreading misinformation and fearmongering that has been disproven for decades. Men who want to hurt women will just do so, they won't go through the effort of pretending to be a woman.
:(
Thought you meant the Sherlock anime „moriarty the patriot“ for a second there.. cause this anime is actually really good and has a trans character who is just accepted.
(Except by one person who’s like: change in a room with a woman??? And the other characters are just like: what woman?) so yeah. Can recommend it to anyone
@@Nini-sx1mb And the American show Elementary, its Ms Hudson is a trans woman and they treat her as any other woman for her 5 appearances.
that's a really similar trope to wyat happened when it comes to Grelle (a trans woman) and Madame Red in Black Butler
and it demonizes both trans women and women who may have issues getting pregnant (like Madame Red)
Sex and the city is bizarre when it comes to its lgbt representation. Later in the series, Samantha is confirmed to be bisexual as she has a relationship with a woman. Even that relationship is handled poorly as it makes Samantha’s lover possessive and aggressive. The series also has Carrie’s and Charlotte’s gay best friends who are just walking stereotypes.
The way my stomach sank when I saw the title of this video……most of their LGBT-related episodes are so deeply cursed.
I got a new binder after ages of my old one being ripped today!!! :D
I am a younger trans guy, thank you for helping me get based
I’ve definitely come across white people who will intimidate or confuse one black person into giving them “permission” to say something terrible then run with it against every even slightly melanated individual they come across.
I’ve even had people use the “permission” of random rappers or people from counties where that language isn’t offensive then get mad if it’s “revoked”
if I’ve dealt with all that these characters would likely have dealt with way worse from clients with cliché ideas of them so if a cringy lady who’s friend literally called the cops on them all after pretty much hate crimeing them came up and said something low-key offensive but probably unintentionally so, I can see why their response is pretty much roll with it to keep on their good side then avoid them from then on.
Edit: I almost wonder if some of it is based off a white writer’s perspective of real interactions.
The "..for your information, I'm a Queer." Was the hardest I've laughed in a while.
We Americans are also horrified by black friday.
Now it's online though, so it's not nearly as bad.
I think this was one of my first exposures to explicitly trans characters (bearing in mind I was faaaaar too young to be watching this show) and at the time the cultural context made it seem so normal and even witty for these gross little quips to be made. Watching now it's like "wow okay so all four of you are actual demons huh? wild". Also, idk if you know this and have tried it already, but you can select and deselect the kinds of ads that play on your videos, although if you want to keep stealing ad revenue from shitty companies that is a pretty strong flex.
i always find the way bisexual men are portrayed and the impact the aids crisis had on how we view bi men incredibly interesting, and the sex in the city episode seems to fall into a lot of that. also i noticed the sock, if anything i was impressed by your creativity
Oh, absolutely, and I was glad Lily included the bi episode here. I’ve been thinking about this recently because I just finished binging Halt and Catch Fire (had never gotten the chance to watch the last couple of seasons when it was originally on), and had completely forgotten that one of the main characters, Joe, is bi. It’s a really good portrayal, nuanced and complex, and almost completely eschews the standard bs biphobic stereotypes. (Which is pretty remarkable considering the show is set from the early 80s to mid 90s!) The only thing I would have liked more of was actually showing some of his serious relationships with men more directly-they’re talked about and acknowledged, but his interactions with men onscreen are far more brief. Still, I was really impressed, and it really illustrated just how few bi masculine characters I ever see in any meaningful way.
wake up babe lily simpson posted
Real
I was hoping, maybe, that trans actors might have played at least one of the sex workers. Nope. The most notable named character, Chyna, is the first acting role for a guy named T. Oliver Reid, a later TV actor.
"Wake up babe, another _Trans episode_ just dropped"
7:09 to 8:21
feels weird to leave out the cis woman writer out of this discussion. Cis woman can, and *very often* are just as transphobic as cis men and often at equal volume close to equal numbers. She wrote this episode too, she contributed to the transphobia.
I think it was more that cis gay people contributed to the transphobia, not just cis straight people that have no/less experience dealing with trans issues/know trans people.
@@melodramaticllama1515 id agree but she singled the gay men out, mentioned them especially for their "being closer to the community". I see this a lot where cis women kinda have their transphobia/bigotry glossed over
Correct me if I'm wrong but isn't that what the whole video is about? Cis women who are supposed to be progressive being super transphobic?
@@ghostofmisao. Yes, so why skim over their contributions to said transphobia in the writing room.
Im not offering this is major criticism, I said it struck me as odd and that's what I meant
@@transagentcooper8041If I had to guess, I'd say it's because it's very easy to imagine a cis woman being transphobic, while gay men may be a less obvious pick, hence why she focussed on them.
6:25 what you said here is why I didn’t realise I was trans until my late 20s. I was raised on a diet of Friends and South Park and didn’t realise that my trans feelings weren’t the same thing as gay feelings. They were presented to me as the same thing throughout my teens.
This is most atrocious ep I've seen you cover. That episode could be classified as a hate crime
I genuinely consider it one
Haven't finished the video yet, but thank you for reviewing the two most loathsome episodes of the series besides the episode where Samantha dates a black guy and the guy's sister is ~reverse racist~ towards her and the episode where Carrie is shamed by Aidan for getting an abortion when she was 19.
As a bisexual person, Sex and the City gets on my nerves so much. Golden Girls was far more progressive and it’s almost 10 years older than SATC.
Then you should watch GG instead of SATC. Nobody forces you.
@@mariosanchezgumiel7757 That’s an odd reply. Are you saying that people can’t have complicated feelings about content that they like? Also, why are you being so dismissive of a queer person being critical of a 20+ year old show in the comments of a video that is also being critical of said show?
@@mariosanchezgumiel7757 You have to watch it. I'm forcing you
You know what's so godawful about the rooster - trans woman parallel? Chickens are very trans inclusive. Many-a-time will hens take the roles of roosters and some will actually express themselves more rooster-like, while some roosters also behave like hens. While it's not directly the exact same case, especially since chickens can experience internal hormone changes, a portion of this is still cultural and part of gender expression. So not only is their joke horrible, the chickens in the cages would disagree with the whole shtick.
Chickens - better people than some humans.
"It's so much like having the voice of god hovering over you and occasionally throwing out really bigoted sentences or slur words"- no, I would never!! It's the other god doing that. The one pretending to be the only one. /j
So...these writers expect us to like and sympathise with one of the main characters who behaves like this? You want us to LIKE this?? Nah, I'll stick with my autistic lesbians, kind gay men, wholesome trans people, funniest asexual people I've ever met and cute monsters/aliens, thank you very much.
Why did they have to be black as well? Like it only works to make the episode more uncomfortable and reinforce racist stereotypes about black women being loud and annoying.
What I find so bizarre about the bisexual episode is that this "oh those wacky young people what with their bisexuality" story is about Generation X... the exact same age cohort as Carrie, Miranda and Charlotte. Sean and the rest of the "kids" are in their early twenties and at most maybe a dozen years younger than our leads, maybe less.
I understand that generational cohorts are essentially just a bunch of numbers and obviously the episode has far bigger problems but still that is a very narrow age gap for a 'generational clash' sort of story.
As someone in their mid thirties, I feel very disconnected to people in their twenties. Before boomers really started to hate on millennials (my generation), generations weren't brought up much in discussions like these.
@@sorapokeball I think that's partly down to the extraordinarily rapid shifts in technology and social views that have taken place comparatively recently. I'm a xennial (I was born in late 1981) and was 19 before I got a mobile phone, went through the entirety of college before social media was a thing and was past 30 before I got a smart phone. In a very real way my experiences as a teen and a young adult are more similar to someone ten years older than me than someone ten years younger than me.
To get back to the episode Carrie would have entered in her twenties in the mid-80s and Sean would have entered his twenties in the mid to late 90s. Yes there was cultural change and yes a decade plus probably does feel a lot when it comes to dating but not really the warp speed level of change that you might see in a 12 year gap now.
A friend of mine recommended this show to me recently.
I will not be watching it now. I know "it was a different time back then" but fuck me running I refuse to put myself thru that.
My friend (cis gay) and I(trans demi) spend a lot of our time binging random shows together and we are currently binging sex and the city and it is actually not only transphobic/biphobic on these episodes sometimes you get blasted back to back to back with random shit. It almost feels like they went out of their way to make a lot of the transphobic/biphobic/homophobic and racist "jokes" it's been almost impossible to watch sometimes it's gotten to the point where I don't think I can continue this show anymore it's horrible.
Thank you for suffering through television's dregs so we don't have to
Also, your intro made me laugh out loud. Lily Simpson comedy special when?
not even remotely related to the theme of the video but i just noticed that lillys hair looks SO beautiful in here :))
Same though! I love the pastels
It's got that nice silvery blue!
I never liked sex and the city, it is extremely superficial in every aspect and honestly not even good. I can do superficial, I like superficial when I just want to have fun, but it needs to be good
This has got to be the most cringe inducing show you've talked about yet. The biphobia and transphobia is terrible, but I'm also offend by the fact the woman kissed Alanis Morrisette and was like "eh, not for me" like girl??? Do you know what you're missing.
Ngl that ending to the bi episode reads as very sad to me, like she herself might even be bi, but she uses her age as a reason not to explore it. It reminds me of the phrase i once heard in a gay comic: this closet will be my tomb.
love your videos 💖💖
have you ever seen MASH? it’s a sitcom/drama from the 70s about a mobile army surgical hospital (mash) during the korean war and one of the main characters Klinger spends 11 seasons wearing dresses as a way to get out of the army “for being crazy” anyway love ur vids ❤
Yes! There's one episode where a visiting Swedish(?) surgeon offers Klinger surgery, assuming Klinger is a trans woman. Klinger is not amused.
HOW DID I FORGET ABOUT THIS PLOT LINE??? And how did any of us gen x trans make it thru the 80s?
Yes! I’d love to see a MASH video!
"She called the cops on black trans sex workers" Ok, I'm a white trans NB person who never saw the appeal of this show and never watched it, but is aware we have a racism problem in the trans community and have also seen too many white trans women say they are a "Samantha," I am very troubled by all of this. I know it's just one episode of a show that had I don't know have many season but still, they didn't write this episode with Samantha being the one who did this for no reason.
omg perfect use of “Nvr Pass” at 5:47, glad to know Lily’s got good taste
YOOO !
Get that sponsorship !
Its very rare I get excited over ads but you fucking deserve it
I think an interview with the actresses that portrayed the trans sex workers would be interesting to see. Did they know they were going to be portrayed like this? What was their reaction to the script (if they ever saw it in full)? Etc.
Oh wait i didn't know about this bi episode. i was thinking you were gonna talk about the episode (The Cheating Curve [S02E06]) where Charlotte joins a bunch of lesbians to be around women more or something super biphobic. and towards the end someone asks her if she's gay and it seemed like Charlotte was questioning still based on her response (seems like she is possibly bi romantic based on her response), and the woman responds with "If you’re not going to eat pussy You’re not a dyke" which is also extremely transphobic. I haven't seen many epsidoes of sex and the city, but that line stuck for me (as a now trans feminine bi person) when I first saw it in 1999 (I was in HS). I feel like nothing about this show aged well and I felt it at the time. like even when that episode aired i was like what does going eating someone out have to do with being attracted to women?! what if you don't want to do that but you are happy to use your fingers or toys or something, I swear this show is so awful!
That was the first episode I ever saw, and as a questioning teen girl, it threw me for a loop. I'm bi/pan, but I swear this show is partly responsible for me being closeted for as long as I was.
@@angrynerdgirl oh for sure! I doubt you are the only one too ❤️. Most media from the 90s and 2000s made me retreat more into my shell of who I am. I feel like this was a common experience for many trans people and def for bi+ people too.
It makes me so sad when marginalized groups (in this case the women and gay men writing the show) who get a platform use that platform to perform the same marginalization on groups that are "below" them in the pecking order. Don't get me wrong, the actually powerful are the real issue still, but with them (us, technically) I get angry instead.
You've become one of my favorite TH-camrs! I was really excited to see a new upload
If Sex and the City is TMNT, what is Greys Anatomy?
Street sharks
white woman's one piece
He-Man and the Masters Of The Universe. No further questions.
One piece
It's teen titans except a hospital and sex. 😊
“But [s]he came back with a whole lot of eggs” made me giggle, regretably
Love the use of Nvr Pass at 5:46.
I’ve never watch this show but I feel like it explains some things about Karen’s
I like your videos, but you cover everything so well I just don’t have anything to add. This is my algorithm comment.
You make me feel old by only recognizing Darren Star from "Emily in Paris" and not from "Beverly Hills, 90210" and "Melrose Place', lol.
Same and I'm in my mid-thirties.
Gotta love Lily using a straight up sock as a pop filter 😂
I really don't understand why people are so weird about bi people. Like, what is so hard for people to understand? Is it just because I'm bi that being bi makes so much sense?
As a fellow bi person, I think a lot of biphobia comes from the fear of not adhering to strict boundaries. I think some people, because of repressive gender expectations, either can't imagine or don't like the idea of their or others' attraction being able to cross between genders. It of course also has roots in homophobia, but more importantly in 'us vs. them' mentalities.
I'm pan here & my theory is that some gay rights activists put a lot of energy into "this isn't a choice!" So bi/pan+ go against the narrative (though I didn't choose either.) Same theory for transmedicalists who are trans themselves. Fighting this hard to access for gender affirming care to be legal & affordable, then finding out some trans folks (like me) don't need or want the medical route? It's got to make them fear that the medical options will be even harder to obtain if some trans folks don't go that direction. The thing is I advocate very strongly for the medical care to be available (I even worked for years within the medical industry fighting for this access to gender affirming care) so transmedicalists don't need to turn against their own community over this.
Hope Che from the reboot is discussed, nonbinary character played by a nonbinary actor, who was HATED by the fanbase
I haven't watched the reboot, but I can't believe they'd do Sara Elena Ramírez dirty like that.
@@sorapokeball They absolutely did, it wasn’t Sara’s fault at all, their performance was great, the writing is ass
i saw this video when it was first uploaded with a title like "the sex and the city trans episode" and while I think the new title is better even the old title was enough for me to go "Oh No" and boy was I not disappointed with how bad it truly was
Love it. Slurs and the city!
Thank you Lily for the BI rep!
Us trans bisixuals were not eating good on this one LOL. Happy thanksgiving!!!
I'm Bi (well pan but close enough) and my partner is Trans and these episodes genuinely comes off as a hate crime
Love the new set-up. As a fellow MtF enby, I'm glad to see you are as bold as ever. Kudos!
The "Up you ass players" is actually a reference to a play written by Valerie Solanas... who, one could argue, was one of the first Terfs :c
Isn’t Samantha possibly bi? I mean she is clearly on the bi spectrum. Maybe she is a bit abrosexual, maybe more straight than equally attracted to men and women. Maybe bi but suffering from internalized homophobia/biphobia. I mean she keeps having sex with and dating women (later no she “tries” again) and in fact gets into a whole relationship, and it is never clarified whether her college bisexuality was a one night stand or a recurring thing. Plus her sapphic relationship seems to be more romantic than most of her heterosexual relationships. Given that, I kind of think she is also a victim of the events in this god awful episode. It’s one thing if a woman dumps you for being openly bi. It is quite another if your three closest friends and closest humans for that matter are biphobic while you yourself aren’t quite free of your own internalized homophobia and biphobia.
As one of them bisexuals myself, I both love that you covered this and am sad that I still hear stuff like this today.
carrie's aave came out like a half-assed italian accent, so embarrassing
It was intensely cringe and I know those sisters were making fun of her for it after LOL
@@Candyrock15 i bet they were like omg robert de niro i love your work
Since Chrismas is coming up, do you think you could tackle the trans rep of Tokyo Godfathers?
YES i agree
I love Tokyo Godfathers!!!! It would be such a nice change of pace from these shows
Really hope to see you cover a trans episode from greys anatomy! There are 2 (sort of a third but it isnt as blatant) episodes I can think of off the top of my head and from what I remember they were all pretty good rep. Could be a sort of break from the horrors like in this episode.
I was surprised/thrilled when they added in gay/bi characters, and even more so when they added a nonbinary character for one of the main cast's love interests. Now, they also don't always handle things in a kind way, but it is nice seeing representation.
What pissed me off most about this is Samantha only moved to the meat packing district because people in her old building were judging her love life. Like she actively chose to buy the new place there - she has the financial capital to make a decisive choice. For someone who claims to be so free thinking, i felt so disappointed and disgusted as well as wondering if she was just a vehicle for the writers’ transphobia, racism and sex worker discrimination.
Had to click play on this one twice. For some reason the first time I clicked the thumbnail it started playing a Coley Does Things video I'd already watched. Two days ago. WTH TH-cam?
I've only started the video but the comparison between the TMNT and SATC reminded me of an old after hours episode from cracked. Made me chuckle, nice work Lily!
No the trans episode genuinely makes me sick. It’s the same nice in person, awful in private that reminds me of a girl I know- all polite in social situations, but the second she feels safe starts talking about social contagion, them going to hell and genital mutilation
its infuriating that they had to take a mostly relatable plot element (learning how to compromise with loud neighbors) and make the episode...this. it's like the writers had come up with a bunch of transphobic zingers and wanted to find somewhere to put them.
hey lily, I would be very happy to see a video about the trans representation of Hunter x Hunter. I think it's one of the best in anime history. It's not like most series that this is a trans episode. It's about Alluka, Killua's sister, it's never really explicitly mentioned that she's trans but it's obvious. She is not accepted as part of the family by some family members, who constantly address her as He. Killua is the only one who accepts Alluka and has a good relationship with her. who also addresses Alluka with the correct pronouns and also introduces her as his sister. I understand that it was never clearly stated that she is trans, but I think that's what makes Alluka so brilliant as a character. Because I see myself in Alluka, everyone in my family except my brother doesn't accept me and often hardly anyone around me understands me. as if I were a different being (which is partly true for Alluka, as she shares a body with a being from another continent) and just like with Alluka, I never say that I am trans and it is not a significant part of my everyday life, but What is often noticeable is how others see me and how they talk about me. (translate from German to English with Google translate)
I love the relationship between Alluka and Killua. I can't believe the family keeps her in the fucking basement (I mean, I CAN given their family but still)
Oh, that arc is great. I do think it works best as this really cathartic capstone to the preceding Chimera Ant arc, which is way longer than I'd demand of anyone doing something like this, but it really does hit like a tonne of bricks.
really hope you'll also talk about queer episodes/ characters of Ted Lasso - the 3 bi , and the 2 gays
My mom is a really huge fan of this show, especially when it was around during the 90s/00s. Seeing this video and finding out about the bi-phobic episode put a huge realisation in my head. My mom is also someone who doesn't fully believe in the concept of bisexuality and she is slightly opposed the idea that you can be attracted to more than one gender (basically the whole "either one or the other" argument). All of the women's talking points you listed (about "bi guys turning out to be gay" or it being "just a phase") sounded so eerily similiar to the kind of opinions my mom has, so it is absolutely safe to assume that her view on bisexuality came from this show. Just one of the examples as to how this sort of stuff can actually affect people in the long run.
In terms of the trans side of things, that I'm not too sure about. She doesn't hate trans people nor is she homophobic or anti-queer in general, but she definitely still has a few "outdated" ideas about trans people (but I don't think that's necessarily from watching 'Sex and the City" and it could just be the case of being kind of out of touch).
My mother used to watch this show religiously when I was a kid and it became a very sweet memory for me... so when I came back to revisit it as an adult for fond memories and realized how actually uncomfortable and awful it was at times... especially from a queer perspective.
Which is fair for majority of old shows, but still qwq
Lily why did you show us lady dimitrescu foot fetish art. why was it in the sponsor segment. How did the sponsor even agree to it. WHY
Where is the trans mountain poster from?
Adding a second comment to note the irony of Miranda's actress being bisexual in real life. I wonder if she was "out" at the time the bisexual episode was being filmed. I know she married a woman in real life. Also there was a pretty long show arc where Samantha dates a lesbian & so Samantha calling herself a "try-sexual" in the bisexual episode might have been foreshadowing?
TH-cam - These videos definitely deserve to be recognized!
5:47 Hell yeah I love Nvr Pass
If you're looking for video ideas I'd be really interested to hear your thoughts on how The L Word handles trans characters and stories, especially when comparing the original series from the 2000s with the 2020s revival.
Hoping Lily gets to reviewing the trans episodes of Ally McBeal. They felt good for TV at the time but I know there has to be some discussion brought up by them.
having seen the show in the last five years it is definitely problematic and uncomfortable in a lot of places, but having a trans recurring character is sort of interesting
And the trans woman on Ally McBeal is played by an attractive cis woman. Lily has mentioned that while it's best to have trans women played by trans women, having cis women play them is still way better than casting cis men.