Narcissists move VERY fast in relationships. It's not uncommon to hear, “I love you", and/or be bombarded with love songs/texts/memes a few weeks after meeting them. By rushing into sex/intimacy, they fast-forward the relationship. They get their targets to fall for them before he/she can realize something is amiss. I believe this is also the reason they tend to be VERY good lovers. Sex is usually the “hook” in toxic relationships. Narcissists lack genuine personalities. So, they mirror their targets. If you find you have “so much in common" with a new person, your likes are their likes, and your dislikes are coincidentally their dislikes as well, raise your antennas! They may be mirroring you. This is the “soulmates" hook… You'll also notice that they'll spend more time telling you who they are, verses showing you. As time goes on, you'll notice the words they used to describe themselves do not fit their personality - at all. But, they will fit YOURS!!! Passive-aggressive behavior and irrational/unexplained anger, are also major red flags. Pay attention to how a person treats you the first time you say, “No”, and/or when things don't go their way… If they give you the silent treatment, grow cold, and/or pull away, do not overlook it! Most importantly, if someone pulls away, or goes silent, after you set a boundary - DO NOT pursue them! This is how they groom you to be the chaser in the relationship. It's emotional abuse/manipulation! Pay close attention to people who portray themselves as victims. NOTHING is EVER their fault! EVERYONE, including the family pet, has done them wrong… ALL of their ex's are “crazy” and mistreated them… They’re great, but no one appreciates said greatness… Simply put, it's bullshit! No one should have a laundry list of bad experiences. If they do, RUN, because they're the common denominator! Narcissists tend to have a history of failed/short-term relationships. Believe it or not, it's hard for Narcissists to find people to deal with them long term due to their instability and poor behavior… Superficial relationships/friendships. I've noticed they don't have anyone they're genuinely close to. This is due to their inability to bond and form true attachments to people. Their relationships are shallow and based on surface-level bs. They'll refer to someone as their bestfriend, but you’ll notice they barely speak. Or, that the person is never really around. Or, only shows up when it's time to party, etc. They may also speak down on/poorly of said “bestfriend” behind their back. Narcissists tend to be condescending, two-faced and downright mean! Based on my experience, they cannot talk about deep subjects (i.e. fears/emotions). Or, how a situation truly made them feel. Or, what their childhood was like in detail… They don't want to go there. I suspect, it's because they can't. They don't know themselves well enough. They can't connect. They also live in a world of dishonesty. They're very dishonest with themselves about who they truly are. A poor relationship with their Mother/primary caregiver. Underlying issues between Narcissists and their Mother's (abuse, neglect, don’t get along, etc.), seems to be common. People that I've known who've displayed strong Narcissistic tendencies, ALL had bad relationships with their Mothers! I think it's worth mentioning, their Mother's also displayed strong Narcissistic traits… I'm fully aware and understand that there are healthy adults who have toxic Mother's. However, if you're spotting several red flags in an individual, including this one, pay closer attention! They're selfish! Some are selfish from the very beginning. Some start out generous and slowly begin withholding. Some act helpless and needy. They manipulate people into doing things for them, but never give back. It's not only financial and material selfishness. They're selfish emotionally, affectionately, conversationally. sexually and with their attention. They withhold validation and support. EVERYTHING has to be about them, their needs, their wants and everything happens on their terms. Anger, rage, silent treatments and disappearing acts are common - when they don't get their way. Pathological lying. Narcissists are professional liars. It's their second nature. If you call them out, they'll have no issue staring deeply into your eyes as they tell another lie! You'll hardly ever get the truth. Even with unchallengeable proof of the truth, they'll hold on to the lie. It's actually quite fascinating to see them in action - once you know what you’re dealing with. They also have the uncanny ability to provoke doubt in their victims (even when you KNOW the truth), because their lies are so convincing! Beware of people who do not seek conflict resolution. Many Narcissists enjoy drama/chaos! Remember, these are high-conflict personalities. Many of them NEED to argue and fight! Peace to a narcissist, is what chaos is to non-disordered people - unsettling. This is why they repeat behaviors that trigger a negative response. They need tension, anger and high/out of control emotions. They're known for calling people crazy, drama queens, insecure, etc., but never admit what they did to provoke those responses. And, when you attempt to discuss/resolve something, THEY said/did, they’ll gaslight, stonewall and/or flip it back on to you. They're extremely disrespectful, rude and lack self-awareness. They have an issue with being called out on their behavior and project/deflect to avoid accountability. “Normal” people want to get along, for the most part. So, they seek fair compromises when conflict arises. Narcissists want to “win” and conflict IS their niche. This is how many Narcissists get their way - they wear people down via conflict. Immaturity. It’s one thing to be playful and lighthearted (in appropriate settings), as an adult. It’s something completely different to be immature. Narcissists suffer from arrested development. They do not know how to respond to situations/people/stress/life appropriately. They have a child-like mindset. They truly believe everything is about them and have no concept of the needs of others. By nature, children are takers. They have no concept of reciprocation. They believe their Parents (and everyone else), exists to meet their needs. When their needs aren’t met, or they don’t get what they want, they become mean and throw tantrums. Narcissists cannot think outside of themselves and their wants/needs - like children. They’re completely unaware that people are individuals with their own agency, needs, wants, opinions... They truly believe people exist to serve them. They believe their job is to receive. They’re children trapped in adult bodies, who cannot consider anything/anyone other than themselves! Above everything I've stated, trust your intuition! Narcissists give off an uneasy vibe. They try very hard to appear cool, calm and collected - on the surface. But, you can feel their energy. It's very off-putting. They also tend to have more noticeable negative qualities, than most people. But, you have to stop justifying and making excuses, in order to see things clearly. Accept people for who they are and not who you want them to be. Observe, listen and trust yourself. No one should be allowed to grant themselves a position in your life. Vet people and YOU decide if they'll be a liability, or an asset, to you. Lastly, take cues from your body. If you ever feel your mood changing, feel anxious or feel your stomach knot up, in the company of someone, don't dismiss it! It could be a sign that you're in bad company!!! Additionally, If you need to find out about a cheating narcissist; send a request to: MetaspyHub@gmail. com
That is the best reply EVER! TY for putting it all in one place. I left the narc I married. Together, 22 years and married 19 of it. He pushed for 3 years to get me locked down. I stayed for the kids. It's very sad how it has all played out. My instincts were warning me. I chose to justify & ignore. Now, I have to forgive myself and live the life I couldn't have with him. It is not selfish to love me. I am learning to put myself first in health and growth. I am worth saving❤️ Be Blessed!
Woke up considering unblocking the narc. Ty for this passionate comment! Your comment reminded me why I blocked in the first place. You've saved me from heartache! ❤
You have done an amazing job here explaining a narcissist. Thank you 🙏🏽 I've been through it all that you have mentioned. I'm so glad to be free from the shackles of a narcissist
This is so sad and that victim of narcissist abuse are actually ones who are watching all these videos and seeking therapy. Where those monsters living their robotic delulu lives normally
A narc can be our best teacher but only if you open your eyes to the lessons. You have to be strong and at the same time look at yourself and ask yourself why you allowed the abuse. Once your eyes are open and you see them for who they really are, it can be overwhelming. Especially when you thought they were someone else. It can be very hurtful because we can see the potential and some of the good in them. Think of the narc as a feral cat. They were born, raised outside and many times when they are brought inside, they can't cope or deal with it. They want to go back the the environment they are more comfortable with. Remember NO CONTACT is very effective, but you have to stick to it. Think of it as having a locked box that has locks and chains wrapped around it and inside the box is evil. If you decide to unlock the box and take a peek, you will be releasing all your hard work. REMEMBER! cats have 9 lives. How many chances do you want to give them? YOU ARE IN CONTROL. YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOU THINK! You want to know how to win? It's by being silent. NEVER CALL THE NARCISSIST. They know you will call them and if you do, all it does is fuel their ego. You don't need to get gas at their station. Find a new gas station where they know how to treat your customers. Silence can be the best weapon. DON'T CALL THEM! GOOD LUCK TO YOU ALL!
Mine dumped me overnight after 5 years. Had his new target move in with him…he lives just down the street! But then had the audacity to come by one day and ask me why my car had been gone all day three days in a row. (Ummm…who the F needs to know?) …adding “because he loves me.”! Ummm, no. He just wondered why I wasn’t up on the shelf waiting for him to get bored, and to serve eventually serve as triangulation, to keep his new target off kilter. They are truly bizarre individuals. Love to them is enjoyment. The other person’s feelings are never part of the equation.
None of it is real on their part , but all of it is real on your part. Normal people know how to love , be passionate, affectionate, intimate, open , and vulnerable . Narcs take advantage of those qualities in someone. Once they know how you feel , and that you love them , the sex stops , the intimacy and affection stops , and they use the threat of leaving you as a threat.
My ex husband come back 6 months later to my house and thought I was going to let him in and i did not! Then he started sending his mail back to my house, I was so pissed 😤 I almost called to cuss him out!!! Thank God I didn't 🙏 🙌 I have gone NO CONTACT, NO PHONE, NO SOICAL MEDIA, ETC. it feels so great that he cannot contact that's why he showed up at my front door! He thought I was going to call him to pick up his mail however I took all his crap to the post office!!!! I feel so empowered by going NO CONTACT!!!!!
@@peacefaith560 No contact is the key, no opportunity for you to fall under the Narcissistic gaze as they call it and be under his spell again, because thats what it is.
I have a feeling that he won't contact me. After I saw through him, I got so angry & hurt that I tore off his mask and put him into a state of narcissistic mortification. I will be surprised if he contacts me again after he discards his new supply. I blocked his number. But I learned some good lessons through it all. I will guard my empathic heart from now on.
It's not a disorder but an evil esence , please consider demon possession as the more logical explanation, even if you don't believe in that. Look at their empty eyes , their fake mannerisms, how they over exaggerate everything in life....they as demons in flesh are after your juicy emotional distress...think about it
In behalv of all children... Those traits you name as like baby... are behaviour of miss treated child, those are learned, not borm with. Babys.... don,t manipulate, don,t cheat, don,t live double life, don,t use you etc... As long as you see it like that... don,t have a child. You will f up that inocent life.
@@fightswithspirits915: My Russian wife treated me very poorly for five years. She had lost her only son (18 yo) to cancer a few years earlier and I thought she was struggling with grief. At five years, she received her American Citizenship and immediately moved out, without a word. She then moved in with another guy and began living with him. Sometimes she was kind, but other times she spontaneously flew into an extreme, violent rage, with no outside stimulus. She was two different people, who could switch very quickly; and I've talked with them both. One was my wife; the other was dominated by an "evil spirit". It was like dealing with an older person with dementia; most of the time they are in a fog and don't connect with you...but there is that one time when they suddenly seem reasonable, but only for a short period. Many times she had told me she was evil. ? Huh? She talked about spirits at night when we went to bed, or whenever it rained. One of her best friend's husbands was a clinical psychologist. I asked him about NPD, but he responded by telling me he believed she was demon-possessed. At the time, I thought it was a bit extreme, but later realized that she had "dabbled" in spirits for a long time.She told me she was evil, with a smile. Called herself an "evil fiend". Sometimes she came back sobbing that she missed me; the wife I used to know. But it didn't last long. At this point, I realized this was all above my pay grade. Many psychologists do associate an element of demon possession with some narcissists; it is the only way I can explain my five years of marriage with this woman. Nothing is reasonable and nothing makes sense. I have to move on. She is violent and destructive; especially to herself. She is destroying herself and her life. My heart breaks for her but she will ruin me, if I allow it.
I’m so glad I don’t care about him anymore. That trauma bond was a monster I never want to fight again. It definitely changed who I am. Mine is blocked on everything. I’ll even search every few months for fake accounts and block them as well. I ain’t dumb. I know he checks my social media. I don’t even have desire to see what he’s doing. Stay strong to all of you. It does get better. 💜💜💜
You aresoo strong.. I wish I can do this all but I still love him.. leaving him like leaving without oxygen.. 😭😭😭😭 it's feel like I am all alone without him or he is the only one.... Even I know all of his evil .. but still.. 😞😞 why can't narcissist change. I wish I can change him.. but I can't 😭😭😭😭
I looked at my narcs fb page for at most two minutes and that was enough to convince me she needs a lot of attention and probably a lot of lovers. I doubt if it was two minutes. They are too creepy, but the love bomb is so wonderful.
What a journey this was for me. It took me a full year, even after I knew what I was dealing with, to finally move on from it. You want so much for them to be something else and they aren't. They just aren't.
I’m with one right now. Actually I’ve been discarded , but keeping the option open that we could fix this. I understand what I’m dealing with now , but as you said , I’m finding it hard to move on. I know it’s best , but loving someone is what makes it so hard even though that I know she doesn’t really care for anyone but herself.
@@sallyjones9144 so mine hoovered me like 5 times in 2 years and has all the traits of a narc but it’s been more than a year NC you’ll say he wasn’t a narc? Nah! It’s just that he knows I know! 🤷🏻♀️
Mine tried to come back but I rejected her, She could not believe that I wanted nothing to do with her. I have been NO contact now for 2 1/2 years its been so peaceful. Never look back just keep yourself moving forward!
This is why they come back, because they see you as an object that doesn't change. A narcissist has an introject of you in their mind, this is what they refer to when they think of you. They don't interact with the real you, hence why they never get to understand you. The introject is static in their mind, this is why they can't understand when it doesn't match the real you, especially if you change or don't agree with them. When the introject and real person don't match it causes cognitive dissonance and anxiety.
Your 💯 correct. They will breadcrumb little messages to you to see if you bite. The advice is solid keep silent, do not respond at all. Keep doing you, get stronger, healthier and more resilient. Stand in your power. Hold true to you. Don’t give them supply.
They collect people, a narcissist I got involved with briefly still tries to get my attention when I see them. I pretend I don't even know who they are and look right through them. He recycles his ex all the time. They are always in their head, conjuring up plans, plots, etc.
If you were the one to discard the narcissist before they were able to discard you! They have a narc. Injury and want full on REVENGE! Once they are GONE, close the door permanently and nail it shut! A narcissist is a gate keeper to HELL!
Can't be agree more. With lot courage i choose no contact with narcissist. Because he disturb my healing in silence with his manipulation. While he was actually moving on. But the extreme reaction i have seen after going no contact is disaster. It seems like he is doing things that he don't even know. His reactions seems like he is not even his senses.
I blocked her from everywhere after she discarded me and jumped into her new supply like a year and 4 months ago. And I stopped looking at my Gmail spams 4 months ago, I wasn't even curious about what she was emailing to me :-) I saw her yesterday at a large meeting, she was acting as if she was the heart-broken angel 😇 Seeing her made me feel anxious for two days but it will pass too ...
I left my ex narc months ago. Went NO CONTACT. Changed my phone number, blocked all the flying monkeys that tried to reach out to me. He hand delivered a letter to my mailbox the end of October. Periodically I see him drive by my place slowly. Ugh. 7 years was enough.
Thank you for this fantastic video. Now I see why two of his ex's were still in his life. At the time I didn't know they were exes because he lied about who they were. It is so disgusting that they just can't leave us alone and move on to someone else to try to have a normal relationship and let us do the same. My guess is exnarc won't leave me alone until he finds a suitable and good replacement, which he has not yet. I've never experienced this with any other breakups. This is hard to deal with later in life. The idea of dating anyone ever again is not appealing.
The ex narc had 3 ex wives, first one ran off with someone else and disappeared, the 2nd had nothing to do with him as did their 2 daughters. His 3rd ex wife stood for none of his carryon, their daughter disowned him, the son has only recently come back into his life, but the narc blamed the boy’s mother saying she poisoned their daughter and his 2 elder ones against him. He has 2 exes that he bought houses with (I’m the 3rd in 7 years, we all left him), he’s convinced the other 2 it was all their fault for the split and still talks to them, however more so in the last couple of months before I moved out as he suspected I was taking him to court for harassment (I am), so he’s been phoning these 2 and another ‘friend’ every other day to get character references as to how good he is. What he didn’t know was I had 140 recordings of his rants, rages and threats. The first 90 are with the police and they phoned me 2 weeks ago to get his number to phone and invite him in for a voluntary interview. I have to go back soon for a video statement and to take the remainder with me. The week before I moved out (I’m away 4 weeks today), I had to install a camera in my bedroom as he would barge in without knocking every day, sometimes 8 times in an hour….all recorded. I’ve blocked him on my phone and he has no idea where I am now. I can bet he detests me as I’ve exposed him.👍
Totally relate Danielle! I made him remove his ex from his social media list but he re added her AFTER I left him because he physically abused me! 😡. She’s STILL on there. I just wonder why they don’t just get back together?😂. His other ex who left him for another man has nothing to do with him but I bet she would be on there too! He’s also got hundreds of other females on there too! Yes I feel the same I’m turned off dating but we can’t let them ruin our future happiness. We just need to be more aware now of the red flags and leave when we see them! . Stay strong 💪 😊
My ex had 2 exes one which he married. He has an adult child with each. He tried to triangulate me with both of them during our 17 year relationship . I caught him texting another woman who I hear he’s going to marry. Funny thing is they’ve been together for almost 2 years, yet he never acknowledges her or her 2 young kids on his social media. He doesn’t have her interact with his children or his family either.
@@helenlovell8587 Thanks for your comment. They do try to recycle the exes as exnarc is trying to do with me. He also has another supply who supposedly isn't interested in him for a relationship but I know he is lying. He just wants his cake! It is so sad how they just want to use people who really did care about them. We've got to stay strong and never return to these people because in the end they will completely and utterly destroy us. Stay strong too and have a great holiday!
"If you're not connected to yourself, how can you be connected to someone else". Love it. They just want attention. If you look carefully.. and open your mind to it. You'll see they have other people they're trying to hoover in.
Talking with ex’s isn’t a major issue unless there is intent to cheat, emotionally or physically. Im friends with a few of mine, and that is something my narc ex fixated on to the point she was inventing things that weren’t true.
Great video and the truth of how a narc just decides to hoover back into your life when its good for them and the attachment disorder they have with past ex's
I'm glad that my relationship with a narcissist only lasted 3months. I was so annoyed by my phone ringing all the time. He wanted to know what I was doing all the time...and he called me every 2hours. I realized in a very short period of time that he didn't make me happy. We only watched T.V at his place or mine. Where was the romantic evenings...flowers?...going out to dinner or to the movies? I was very aware after a short time that I was being "devalued". He was very"Grandiose" when he talked about himself. He had tons of money....and knew celebrities...lol! I was on to him but he didn't know that....he knows now. Do I miss him ...NOPE and he will not be in my life any more...ever. BTW... the final straw was when he just popped up on my job.....DONE!
This is so spot on and the reason I watch these videos on narcissism. I broke up 14 years ago and one of the things the ex said to me was that he lied about meeting someone else ( that was a lie) because he wanted to get my attention. When I showed disinterest that’s when he admitted there was someone else. I went no contact soon after and the hoovering has been going on even after marrying the girl he met. No boundaries no respect.
It's been over a year since our breakup and she still covertly stalks me and my friends. Ive gone no contact and I'm convinced she is watching from the shadows since she doesn't have a way to actually contact me, that's how I know that I did a good job at going no contact and moving on with my life, left no weaknesses in my defenses for her to sneak in
I knew about narcissistic people before, by not very much. After 2 months with a covert, I am pretty devastated. Lucky for me I found this channel to help guide me through this. I have discarded the female covert narcissist and I am trying to move forward. This has been an extremely difficult time for me. I am so grateful to have your help, without it, I would be in serious trouble.⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
@@tjradmila There were many, but I didn’t know until after the fact what I was seeing. She is pretty much a case study in covert narcissism. So I had love(like) bombing, future faking, manipulation, emotional abuse, devaluation, pushing away, pulling back…..EVERYTHING. I only knew after I researched female covert narcissists that I was dealing with a real monster. She has a lot of negative energy, and she took everything from me that she could. She is like a demon.
Yep. I had dealt with overt narcissists at work and socially. However, I had not been involved with a covert narcissist before so missed the red flags until it was too late. Really evil.
I was with mine for 2 and a half months, she love bombed me got super upset when I called her out on something small and she stated she wasn't feeling the warm and fuzzies right now and then 2 weeks after that I took her out on one more date and I could just tell she had already discarded me in her mind. I took her home and then texted her I was done and then she had the nerve to text me and say she didn't know how to act when someone pulled away from her other than to pull back herself but yet I never pulled back from her and then she agreed to the ending of the relationship and then told me to have a good night and hope I'm happy. Here's where it gets interesting though, she unfriends me on Facebook but keeps me on Snapchat for a day and she started posting stories on Snap of herself and I could see the thumbnails of what she was posting but would not actually look at her stories, after she realized I wasn't checking her stories she deletes me off Snapchat. She was clearly a narc and that powerplay with snap to try and get a rise out of me just proved it all.
My narcissistic ex discarded me after 8 years. I gray rocked her for 3 years before she did. I'm now happier, healthier and enjoying my time with a new empathetic partner.
haha mine discarded me aswell after 8 years, she did it to me twice, first time was at year 3 , i made a mistake of taking her back, then again at year 8 , both times there were different guys, both times were on the day of our anniversarys , i grey stoned my ex too, for 3 years,, but she came back and fabricated a story n tried to put me in jail so she could get full custody and run off with my daughter, very sick human beings
Just because there’s no contact (because they have so much pride) doesn’t mean they don’t stalk your social media, copy you, compare you to their spouses and still feel like you want them
Exactly- they had to change their persona or identity in order to please the others yet they will call their supply people pleasers. No, that’s a common misconception, by being in a relationship where one is faithful and has formed a bond or attachment is normal to try to preserve it and maintain it if even love or friendship is involved. The ones who are people pleasers are the narcissists who constantly emulate a new persona and take one multiple new identities in order to mimic people of their interest and get from them what they need instead of being whole and forming their self and stand for it and being ok with the few people who accept them as they are, with whom they can form an intimate relationship or a genuine mutually supportive friendship.
I let him come back since the last brutal discard took me a long time to heal, but I guess I still was healing because I let him come back listened to his lies and apologies and guess where I am now? In the same cycle! Love bombed me big time so I thought wow he has changed, but then months later my intuition was telling me it's too good tobe true, he started acting funny again then I questioned again over and over what's going on then I see now the gaslighting, manipulation, arguing for no reason, everything is my fault once again we keep trying but doesn't work and BOOM the discard came and he's onto the next supply! Oh how I feel like such a fool and I'm honestly struggling more this time
@@DJAntonetti absolutely did not especially the second time and 3rd and God God how many I didn't know about before I found out about narcissism! I just feel Luke they get worse every single time! I didn't even get, let's be friends or nothing, just abuse, discard.
@kristinahunnii yes. Not sure if this happens to you but, I'll watch all these Covert Narc channels that talk about what the Narc probably did during the relationship and after discard and some of it lines up but some of it doesn't. Like the "let's be friends" thing. Mine didn't say that. She just said I pushed her to end it and that she needed to move forward with no contact. It's crazy making and makes you doubt yourself. Guess they all follow the same basic phases with subtle variations and differences
I didn't give him the pleasure to dump me, I did. Everything said in this video is 100% accurate. He came back several times, after getting new supplies, he realized that I was the best toy...I receive calls from an unknown number, I know it's this piece of trash trying to make his way back. DO NOT pick up, if you are not sure about the number, don't take the call ( they often have minimum 2 mobile phones). Make sure he is blocked on every social media, basically EVERYWHERE. Trust me, time helps. Be patient, treat yourself and the image of this vermine will slowly fade away.
@@thrivingnow7395 why should I ? If he makes the mistake to leave a message I'll go straight to the police. If a narc wants to contact you, he will find a way no matter what.
@@stephanieklein9182 because then you are not on guard about odd numbers coming in. No contact means blocking every single avenue of contact. Making it as difficult as possible for them.
@@stephanieklein9182 mine had cloned mine and my daughter's phones and tracking software. Took me a year and half to find that out. Get rid of the phone. Change all passwords on computers etc.
You are spot on. My ex came back to me after 10 years. Her excuse was for the sake of our children whom are 20 and 24 years old. I didn't even bother to reply to her.
My ex discards and stays gone anywhere from 6mons to a year... But it's not moving on when they're trying to hoover & come back your way while they're with the person they left you for.......Let's just call it " We took a break" that you didn't agree to...if we're gonna be honest!....
Spot on... That's truly how they see it... Have some fun here, have some fun there... In fact, let me collect a whole harem while I'm at it and you will wait for me right, just in case it all doesn't work out?!?!!.... 😅😂🥴
It's a game/challenge for the narcissist. Each boundary you set. They take that as a "challenge" and will be their priority to get a reaction from you by overstepping your boundaries.
well, i can understand why you say this. i think there needs to be more data to assess, but i'm not sure. it's hard to always post the shite moments in life. i respected seeing healthy conflict resolutions on a certain channel. she was judged for showing it, but, i think it's important. even classy ladies can handle conflict resolution and even post it online...wish more would discuss it for others to see.
So true. My x thought he can move on from me we do have three kids he useds the excuse to talk to me. But everytime time we speak we fight. I am trying to move on i love him he we were together for 11 years but yes everything you are saying is so true.
The initial breakup sucks so much. I was only with my ex for 2 months before walking away but it crushed me. Alot of hours spent crying and feeling overwhelmed but all things pass. Watching these videos and studying the stoics has helped me so much. They all seem so perfect in the beginning and when that mask comes off its so confusing and painful. 😢 If i didnt learn what narcassism was i wouldnt have had the ability to walk away.
You seperated right after the love bomb so that is immensely harder than going through their cycles and being abused and then discarded and rinse and repeat etc. Because the good stuff is still so fresh in one's memory. They truly want to crack you like a nut to get to your authenticity which they lack. I'm so glad you were able to get away and seperate and heal ❤. It's an amazing feat once you realize how many people cannot make the jump.
YOU move on. Once you have made it clear that they best not cross your path again- they will believe you if you block them every where. You stop going where they also went. YOU have to make the final break and maintain it. If you see them again- walk on by. If they contact you another way- block them there also.
This person will never have another opportunity at me again or in the future the door is close permanently she needs blame her parents for missing up her childhood like that didn't teach her love at all or give her capability of love so this where all her problems coming that childhood, she did a lot of damage to my heart in a short period of time to where cannot return too me at all everything I need too know about a narcissist I know now and I thank God for that wisdom and I know she being control by demonic spirits of Satan so I m gone for good from this person and that is a good thing I don't want to we live that nightmare again with her every she can continue live devilish life without me in I love my peace from God period....
I replied to a hoover after 24 years...biggest mistake of my life! Another round of abuse, love bombing, gaslighting, betrayal then discard...just over 3 yrs out now and I'm finally loving life and myself again. I won't ever respond to him again, lesson learnt.
Thanks for you great videos and work. It is an awful thing to come to the realization that the person you fell in love with doesn't see us (you, me) in the same way. The hardest part of all of this is having the knowledge to allow the rational part to see the truth, but the emotional part keeps trying to resurrect the hope in something that doesn't merit hope or wanting, but it's still hard because we are only human. Oh well, I am finding that for me I am still struggling with this unhealthy obsessing and craving to this person to the point where even I know its ridiculous, but still hurts. It is like an addiction, I have missed persons from my past, but no matter how hard it was I got over it in time, this is sooooooooo different, it is like a long drawn out detoxification worse than drugs or drink, no joke. Good luck everyone and Merry Christmas. We ae not alone huh......
No, we’re not alone! Don’t feel bad, I am hurting too. Mine ghosted me and acting so strang for months, I’ve been a month no contract and he sent me a message short and to the point “ Sorry to bother you, but wanted to see how you are doing “ I have been listening to videos every day all day and feeling stronger, so I’m mad that I even answered him. I hope I didn’t mess up! All I said back was “Thank you I’m doing good” 😫🙏
My problem is, I absolutely cannot abandon hope that maybe she will see the error of her ways. Even after being treated poorly for so long I promised that I'd ever abandon her. The discard process in and of itself is ridiculous, but here I am 6 weeks later still a fucking mess.
It's as if you read my mind. I'm feeling, thinking and experiencing the same thing. Sucks that I fell in love with an illusion, and am still struggling to let go, 4 months after brutal final discard, and she already has new supply
@@Danzaxe69 I understand this. Keep telling myself that they're sub human. Their heart isn't kind enough to fight for love. We're disposable to them. In time we'll heal & see that we're better off without their type.
I broke up with her a month ago. I haven't heard anything from her. I found out that she lied to me and cheated on me. My intuition kept telling me but I didn't listen. I sent her a very long email, very straightforward, mature and I gave quotes and examples the abuse she put me through. I let my friends and therapist read it. They all thought I did a great job. My ex's response? "Seriously, get help." I do still love her but I will never go back. We were off and on for 5 1/2 years.
i felt like a option after a while cause they kept coming back like it was nothing and i said no more. i’m THE ONE AND ONLY. so i cut her off. it’s very difficult. people are just terrible. i can’t be around that no more. it’s not healthy.
Exactly, I was thinking something similar these days that it is an emotional dysfunction defined by an overactive compensatory negative emotions, on the one hand and on the other hand, by inactive or turned-off positive emotions, denied access to them as this would require an honest, open and vulnerable attitude and willingness to work through the emotional pain caused by the root-cause, allowing themselves to heal the trauma, work on activating affective empathy but often the baggage as the years pass is so gigantic (and it keeps growing with every decision they make and every cycle and discarded and devalued supply, with every crushed heart and soul) that they wouldn’t be able to look at themselves and all the destruction they left behind.
I was dumped after a year. Pregnant after he lied about his vasectomy and denying his baby. I’m still recovering. I was a wife before I never been treated like this before
I had one to come flat our and tell me he had a vasectomy but he can reverse anytime....we didn't have sex because I felt like...." why tell me that and we just on our fourth date?' It was off putting and a red flag to me. Sorry this happened to you
I messaged my ex narc over the debt we acquired. She had the audacity to say I make more money, she’s out there taking vacations spending money on products with their new supply. She used me reaching out to resolve a conflict to manipulate, bringing back the good memories. Telling me I hacer her heart and the other does not ect ect. I went into reactive mode; I went off and feel shame for it. The fact you telling me you learning and changed when you lying to everyone around you. She used my reaction to show others I’m crazy or bi polar. Why do ppl believe them. Took me 2 years to go over what we went through to know I was abused emotionally and mentally. It’s like she tries to see what I’m doing for her to weasel herself back in. It’s not normal. Now on top of that I feel like she’s using my personality and what I believe in and passing it as her character.
I truly believe that a narcissist want the person to believe they moved on sometimes the narctassic lose there touch not everyone fall for there bullshit. When they can't find someone they tend to come after there ex. Remember narctassic is good at lying.
Agree with you narctassic will make up anything to make themselves to look good but miserable at the same time. That's why they use that fake smile and lies.
lol yup it was weird to me how my narc ex would not leave it alone how we needed to stay friends after, and how I was so terrible for trying to move on from my relationships while she kept all her exes on a friend shelf, conveniently in reach - NO THANK YOU.
Mine Moved On. Right on. Moved On to meeting, marrying, and divorcing the "New Supply" all in under 1 year... Moved On to a digital bathroom scale because the analog only went to 300. Moved On to the troublemaking Mother Inlaws funeral dead at 64. And Moved On to working like a sled dog in the city 60 hours a week until old age, instead of retiring early in the prime of life to the country on a fully stocked farm with me.
@@Confessions089 Look, I don't care other than the analogy and lesson. It was me who broke off the engagement, mutual friends wouldn't stop with the bulletins and that was 20 years ago. You want to make any more assessments?
My ex came over so we could talk and he began subtly going through things. I told a friend and he said he was looking for signs of someone else being around
It's like crossing a toddler with a remote control that controls a lion a tornado and and 11:4111:42 the BEAR that killed the grizzly man, and a 100ftcrocodile, with a weed habit,.. to high to get over. Too low to get under, Stuck in the Middle, and the pain is 12:24 thunder ■ 12:05
It's the " Psychology of Communication " at this point for me. Interpersonal Communication is key, and when my narcissistic friend "acts up " , I look for the game being played...and use short statements in conversation with this individual. This individual wants to " use" me, but, I try to reverses the narcissistic manner, and be " myself ", without using more than three words, a gesture and a smile. Not to be infuriating, in my mannor nor confrontational, but, project in my small respectful way. " I am aware" and emit a manner, in the Interpersonal dynamic, that I am a person, not " a doll" to be made to dance, "pulling strings"...or "puppetry. If, needed...I pull the strings on him, and it's infuriating to him. Peace Christopher
It’s so sad 😢he doesn’t even seem to care how my own children feel/ grandchildren! He appears to be the best grandpa ever. But I saw a lot of sick animal stuff that we erased by both of us… now I’m thinking with him getting older and from our 42 years of lies as a marriage! I think I know a little about him actually being a sick sex addict! He’s moving on and I have all this paperwork to do… So even with his sick chooses. I win because I know I have my families and the King of Kings who have my back!!! So I’m a Princess! Amen 🙏!
She is too proud. She will never contact me again. I hoovered her back the second time because I really love her. We had issues but she ended the relationship with a discard both times and dated someone else immediately. I never understand how they run to someone else immediately after. Shaking my head...
What Amaze me the most They cheat on you, and they acting like nothing happens, Ther come back with more lies and no explanation what so ever, It happens when the are not happy with the other person Than they remember you again!!! They don’t give a damn how you feel what you when througt if the break your heart 💔 I’m done this time no contact is the best way to protect my self from no empathy narc who doesn’t love no one… they don’t love you The love the idea to be loved 🥰 Don’t look back ever Nothing is going to change, it get worst and more painful. That’s my experience and advice 🥰
I had never seen someone also so obsessed with the life of stars like actors, actresses, singers, models and all that popular trash gossip I take zero interest in. They have a serious obsessive thinking about comparison and competition which stem from the only low emotions they experience which is envy, jealousy and hatred and they instil them also in others, in their supply by creating triangulations, by using various put down techniques including pick-up artist (PUA) techniques, by gaslighting and driving you crazy in hidden ways, by using a hot and cold treatment. They can turn on all your defensive mechanisms and trigger all the demons inside you or leave you in a place of a total destruction and that’s what they take a joy in, in those moments of Schadenfreude or malicious joy because that’s gives them a feeling of a momentary satisfaction. But nothing ever fills the void inside, no amount of love or almost unconditional love, actually they despise it and will disrespect you the longer you stay in, the more chances you give them. Probably because they don’t know how to handle it as their mothers (at least in some cases) most likely created in them an Oedipus complex by behaving towards them in a sexual and possessive way (see Dr. James’ mother in Netflix show Maniac) alternating with destructive behaviour caused by consumption of substances like alcohol and drugs so most likely they also had some serious psychopathology and narcissists took on the very same or a similar behavioural patterns, unable to admit what their parents are like and stand up against their abusive parent(s), individuate from the real and the original source of malice and their own wound and illness. From my observation make psychopaths usually hate their mothers even if they weren’t abusive while narcissists are incapable to detach from their abusive parent who is the source of all their suffering and the damage they cause to others. They apparently have serious memory gaps/ amnesia due to the daily denial and delusion they have been living it that they buried so deep all the traumatic memories that they cannot even recall them anymore. I am sure there would be a way how to access them as in the psychology there are number of successful techniques like Freud’s psychoanalysis or hypnosis but the first step would be to be willing, to find the courage and take finally the right risk instead of 1000 other risks and ‘opportunities’ they take.
NO CONTACT is the nuclear bomb against a narc. I did this with her, 3 years now, she is crazy. Is calling all my friends and smear campaign against me. Guess what? My friends called police for harassing. Nobody talks to her, she is getting in narcissistic collapse. Started to be funny
It's like living in an asylum which you never traveled to or even was aware of that you had a nut nut in your midtz who just see you as energy supply not you, wow♥️😇🙏
Hi, I think that you are completely right, Also I must say that I'mve watched lots of your videos. And yes, Whatever you saying is like, you are reading the books about them. It Is all true. Thanks
This is SOOO true! I was my ex narc for 4 years...some of that time he was in prison for what he done to me. I've never before been with such a toxic and manipulative being in my life before and so at first it was so easy for him to talk his way round. We dont live together and he is not to be around me when my children is present and so I'd only ever see him when my kids went to thr dad's every other wkend and he talked me into sorting himself out and proving himself to me in the meantime, yet he'd ring me out his face. A couple weekend when I it was my wkend with my kids he told me that he won't be able to contact me because his charger broke 🤣 I called him out on his lies and then he started turning it around and somehow blaming me saying I'm the reason why he is the way he is cause I don't support him enough. He even told me to move on and if it didn't work out with anyone else to then go back to him and he would be waiting. I stopped all contact with him from that point and hadn't heard anything suspecting he had found himself new supply. So then today at 5am this morning I have missed calls from a number I don't recognise, I ring it and a girl answers. It was a girl (who hasn't got a good reputation I'd say with guys) who I always suspected he got with before which he always denied to me and she made out she didnt know whos number it was which was weird but i knew it had to be something to do with my ex. I told her to delete my number amd not contact me again. I suspected he was thr with her at the time. I have now hours later recieved a message from him saying he wants to go back prison. It's all so weird. I've completely ignored him. He hasn't cared one bit and gone with some other girl, yet now its coming up to a weekend to myself I think he's using tactics to get my attention even when he's with his new supply and even using her to contact me because although they dont have you they cant bare you getting with anyone else amd moving forward with your life without needed them . They think of no1 but themselves, their own needs and wants, noone elses. Such selfish individuals.
Mine purposely did not block me on messenger so that I can be nosey and see his dusty ass on his profile with the other woman that looks like she’s been hit by hell😂😂😂 Honey it bother me but now I’m like please he misses me I know he does
Question ??? How long is it for a normal person that is damaged by a narcissist to move on ,,, ??? I just don’t have no interest ,,, I want to repair me …
Suffering right now and I’m on the road to recovery after being destroyed from my relationship with my narcissistic ex girlfriend. In a nutshell, if you’re disconnected from your feelings, you can’t give others access to them either. I believe that’s what’s being said here.
Mine actually gave me closure (cos he didn’t want to be guilt tripped by his overt mum who complained me from dusk till dawn anymore) and wanted a divorce all of a sudden BUT once his mum left, he tried to hoover, I had no idea what he’s thinking at that time, I didn’t reply him (went no contact unintentionally), but now I finally figured out he’s a covert narc. It’s a total nightmare!!
I let my narc back and the abuse went ten fold .Please anyone reading this DO NEVER LET A NARC BACK INTO YOUR LIFE .
I know right! I only figured out what evil I was dealing with after it happened. Ugh.
Never say “my narc” never own a narc. Manifest disownment.
I'm feeling weak, feeling like letting him back. Thanks for the reminder
Up tge Rd and it didn't do it one he did it a lot I thought he just forgot
He would walk up the Rd hife way up passed the dhop because I was walking bry how can any one for get to go in a shop whsn he was hife wsy
Narcissists move VERY fast in relationships. It's not uncommon to hear, “I love you", and/or be bombarded with love songs/texts/memes a few weeks after meeting them. By rushing into sex/intimacy, they fast-forward the relationship. They get their targets to fall for them before he/she can realize something is amiss. I believe this is also the reason they tend to be VERY good lovers. Sex is usually the “hook” in toxic relationships. Narcissists lack genuine personalities. So, they mirror their targets. If you find you have “so much in common" with a new person, your likes are their likes, and your dislikes are coincidentally their dislikes as well, raise your antennas! They may be mirroring you. This is the “soulmates" hook… You'll also notice that they'll spend more time telling you who they are, verses showing you. As time goes on, you'll notice the words they used to describe themselves do not fit their personality - at all. But, they will fit YOURS!!! Passive-aggressive behavior and irrational/unexplained anger, are also major red flags. Pay attention to how a person treats you the first time you say, “No”, and/or when things don't go their way… If they give you the silent treatment, grow cold, and/or pull away, do not overlook it! Most importantly, if someone pulls away, or goes silent, after you set a boundary - DO NOT pursue them! This is how they groom you to be the chaser in the relationship. It's emotional abuse/manipulation! Pay close attention to people who portray themselves as victims. NOTHING is EVER their fault! EVERYONE, including the family pet, has done them wrong… ALL of their ex's are “crazy” and mistreated them… They’re great, but no one appreciates said greatness… Simply put, it's bullshit! No one should have a laundry list of bad experiences. If they do, RUN, because they're the common denominator! Narcissists tend to have a history of failed/short-term relationships. Believe it or not, it's hard for Narcissists to find people to deal with them long term due to their instability and poor behavior… Superficial relationships/friendships. I've noticed they don't have anyone they're genuinely close to. This is due to their inability to bond and form true attachments to people. Their relationships are shallow and based on surface-level bs. They'll refer to someone as their bestfriend, but you’ll notice they barely speak. Or, that the person is never really around. Or, only shows up when it's time to party, etc. They may also speak down on/poorly of said “bestfriend” behind their back. Narcissists tend to be condescending, two-faced and downright mean! Based on my experience, they cannot talk about deep subjects (i.e. fears/emotions). Or, how a situation truly made them feel. Or, what their childhood was like in detail… They don't want to go there. I suspect, it's because they can't. They don't know themselves well enough. They can't connect. They also live in a world of dishonesty. They're very dishonest with themselves about who they truly are. A poor relationship with their Mother/primary caregiver. Underlying issues between Narcissists and their Mother's (abuse, neglect, don’t get along, etc.), seems to be common. People that I've known who've displayed strong Narcissistic tendencies, ALL had bad relationships with their Mothers! I think it's worth mentioning, their Mother's also displayed strong Narcissistic traits… I'm fully aware and understand that there are healthy adults who have toxic Mother's. However, if you're spotting several red flags in an individual, including this one, pay closer attention! They're selfish! Some are selfish from the very beginning. Some start out generous and slowly begin withholding. Some act helpless and needy. They manipulate people into doing things for them, but never give back. It's not only financial and material selfishness. They're selfish emotionally, affectionately, conversationally. sexually and with their attention. They withhold validation and support. EVERYTHING has to be about them, their needs, their wants and everything happens on their terms. Anger, rage, silent treatments and disappearing acts are common - when they don't get their way. Pathological lying. Narcissists are professional liars. It's their second nature. If you call them out, they'll have no issue staring deeply into your eyes as they tell another lie! You'll hardly ever get the truth. Even with unchallengeable proof of the truth, they'll hold on to the lie. It's actually quite fascinating to see them in action - once you know what you’re dealing with. They also have the uncanny ability to provoke doubt in their victims (even when you KNOW the truth), because their lies are so convincing! Beware of people who do not seek conflict resolution. Many Narcissists enjoy drama/chaos! Remember, these are high-conflict personalities. Many of them NEED to argue and fight! Peace to a narcissist, is what chaos is to non-disordered people - unsettling. This is why they repeat behaviors that trigger a negative response. They need tension, anger and high/out of control emotions. They're known for calling people crazy, drama queens, insecure, etc., but never admit what they did to provoke those responses. And, when you attempt to discuss/resolve something, THEY said/did, they’ll gaslight, stonewall and/or flip it back on to you. They're extremely disrespectful, rude and lack self-awareness. They have an issue with being called out on their behavior and project/deflect to avoid accountability. “Normal” people want to get along, for the most part. So, they seek fair compromises when conflict arises. Narcissists want to “win” and conflict IS their niche. This is how many Narcissists get their way - they wear people down via conflict. Immaturity. It’s one thing to be playful and lighthearted (in appropriate settings), as an adult. It’s something completely different to be immature. Narcissists suffer from arrested development. They do not know how to respond to situations/people/stress/life appropriately. They have a child-like mindset. They truly believe everything is about them and have no concept of the needs of others. By nature, children are takers. They have no concept of reciprocation. They believe their Parents (and everyone else), exists to meet their needs. When their needs aren’t met, or they don’t get what they want, they become mean and throw tantrums. Narcissists cannot think outside of themselves and their wants/needs - like children. They’re completely unaware that people are individuals with their own agency, needs, wants, opinions... They truly believe people exist to serve them. They believe their job is to receive. They’re children trapped in adult bodies, who cannot consider anything/anyone other than themselves! Above everything I've stated, trust your intuition! Narcissists give off an uneasy vibe. They try very hard to appear cool, calm and collected - on the surface. But, you can feel their energy. It's very off-putting. They also tend to have more noticeable negative qualities, than most people. But, you have to stop justifying and making excuses, in order to see things clearly. Accept people for who they are and not who you want them to be. Observe, listen and trust yourself. No one should be allowed to grant themselves a position in your life. Vet people and YOU decide if they'll be a liability, or an asset, to you. Lastly, take cues from your body. If you ever feel your mood changing, feel anxious or feel your stomach knot up, in the company of someone, don't dismiss it! It could be a sign that you're in bad company!!! Additionally, If you need to find out about a cheating narcissist; send a request to: MetaspyHub@gmail. com
That is the best reply EVER!
TY for putting it all in one place.
I left the narc I married. Together, 22 years and married 19 of it. He pushed for 3 years to get me locked down. I stayed for the kids. It's very sad how it has all played out. My instincts were warning me. I chose to justify & ignore. Now, I have to forgive myself and live the life I couldn't have with him. It is not selfish to love me. I am learning to put myself first in health and growth.
I am worth saving❤️
Be Blessed!
Woke up considering unblocking the narc. Ty for this passionate comment! Your comment reminded me why I blocked in the first place. You've saved me from heartache! ❤
You have done an amazing job here explaining a narcissist. Thank you 🙏🏽 I've been through it all that you have mentioned. I'm so glad to be free from the shackles of a narcissist
Wow very nice. Thank you.
Well written, thanks
"They don't love you" they love that you love them
So true
Exactly!
Truth! 💯👊
😢
The narc onces said "I love the way you love me." And "I will always love your love." 😂
This is so sad and that victim of narcissist abuse are actually ones who are watching all these videos and seeking therapy. Where those monsters living their robotic delulu lives normally
Keywords: robotic, delusional... I'd rather be here!
They aren't living normally lol
A narc can be our best teacher but only if you open your eyes to the lessons. You have to be strong and at the same time look at yourself and ask yourself why you allowed the abuse. Once your eyes are open and you see them for who they really are, it can be overwhelming. Especially when you thought they were someone else. It can be very hurtful because we can see the potential and some of the good in them. Think of the narc as a feral cat. They were born, raised outside and many times when they are brought inside, they can't cope or deal with it. They want to go back the the environment they are more comfortable with. Remember NO CONTACT is very effective, but you have to stick to it. Think of it as having a locked box that has locks and chains wrapped around it and inside the box is evil. If you decide to unlock the box and take a peek, you will be releasing all your hard work. REMEMBER! cats have 9 lives. How many chances do you want to give them? YOU ARE IN CONTROL. YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOU THINK! You want to know how to win? It's by being silent. NEVER CALL THE NARCISSIST. They know you will call them and if you do, all it does is fuel their ego. You don't need to get gas at their station. Find a new gas station where they know how to treat your customers. Silence can be the best weapon. DON'T CALL THEM! GOOD LUCK TO YOU ALL!
Thank you so much...i normally don't read long post, but yours was very encouraging.... Thank you...
You couldn't have put it better. Thanks
All of this! 👆🏻
Love the use of compare and contrast!!
Stated accurately and perfectly
A Narc Never Ever discards you...its an illusion...You have the Power for the Real discard..Pull the Life Power plug right out of their empty souls
Mine dumped me overnight after 5 years. Had his new target move in with him…he lives just down the street! But then had the audacity to come by one day and ask me why my car had been gone all day three days in a row. (Ummm…who the F needs to know?) …adding “because he loves me.”! Ummm, no. He just wondered why I wasn’t up on the shelf waiting for him to get bored, and to serve eventually serve as triangulation, to keep his new target off kilter. They are truly bizarre individuals. Love to them is enjoyment. The other person’s feelings are never part of the equation.
mine 20 years later, still Hoover...those demons have Nothing but You
Block that loser..
Wow.....That's too crazy!
@@sll110 yep same here. 12 years later, still getting an occasional Hoover. They get crickets chirping in return.
@@massimo7219 yes. I sometimes wish Id get the chance to say “nah, you are now just someone I used to know.”
When I take the garbage to the curb on garbage night, I don’t feel the need to check up on it later. Once it’s gone, it’s GONE! Good riddance!!!
💝
Well said!👍
Yesssss..... 🎉
None of it is real on their part , but all of it is real on your part. Normal people know how to love , be passionate, affectionate, intimate, open , and vulnerable . Narcs take advantage of those qualities in someone. Once they know how you feel , and that you love them , the sex stops , the intimacy and affection stops , and they use the threat of leaving you as a threat.
They can't work with anyone in a positive sense.
My ex husband come back 6 months later to my house and thought I was going to let him in and i did not! Then he started sending his mail back to my house, I was so pissed 😤 I almost called to cuss him out!!! Thank God I didn't 🙏 🙌 I have gone NO CONTACT, NO PHONE, NO SOICAL MEDIA, ETC. it feels so great that he cannot contact that's why he showed up at my front door! He thought I was going to call him to pick up his mail however I took all his crap to the post office!!!! I feel so empowered by going NO CONTACT!!!!!
return to sender
@@peacefaith560 No contact is the key, no opportunity for you to fall under the Narcissistic gaze as they call it and be under his spell again, because thats what it is.
Take him to court that's too much drama narctassic never stop.
Sometimes you have to move away. one thing is never tell someone who knowns your narctassic your business.
@@PhoenixRising-1111 one you got to know never let an narssisstic know what you doing he knows he wrong. The drama ain't worth it.
I have a feeling that he won't contact me. After I saw through him, I got so angry & hurt that I tore off his mask and put him into a state of narcissistic mortification. I will be surprised if he contacts me again after he discards his new supply. I blocked his number. But I learned some good lessons through it all. I will guard my empathic heart from now on.
This disorder is the most evil. Like being with and baby 👶 in temper tantrum mode 🤮🤮🤮..I thank God daily. Thank you 💜
My ex-narc girlfriend was stuck at around nine or ten years old. She even talked with a baby voice. Too weird.
It's not a disorder but an evil esence , please consider demon possession as the more logical explanation, even if you don't believe in that. Look at their empty eyes , their fake mannerisms, how they over exaggerate everything in life....they as demons in flesh are after your juicy emotional distress...think about it
In behalv of all children...
Those traits you name as like baby... are behaviour of miss treated child, those are learned, not borm with.
Babys.... don,t manipulate, don,t cheat, don,t live double life, don,t use you etc...
As long as you see it like that... don,t have a child.
You will f up that inocent life.
When I see narcissist and evil in the same post, it always gets a thumbs up.
@@fightswithspirits915: My Russian wife treated me very poorly for five years. She had lost her only son (18 yo) to cancer a few years earlier and I thought she was struggling with grief. At five years, she received her American Citizenship and immediately moved out, without a word. She then moved in with another guy and began living with him. Sometimes she was kind, but other times she spontaneously flew into an extreme, violent rage, with no outside stimulus. She was two different people, who could switch very quickly; and I've talked with them both. One was my wife; the other was dominated by an "evil spirit". It was like dealing with an older person with dementia; most of the time they are in a fog and don't connect with you...but there is that one time when they suddenly seem reasonable, but only for a short period.
Many times she had told me she was evil. ? Huh? She talked about spirits at night when we went to bed, or whenever it rained. One of her best friend's husbands was a clinical psychologist. I asked him about NPD, but he responded by telling me he believed she was demon-possessed. At the time, I thought it was a bit extreme, but later realized that she had "dabbled" in spirits for a long time.She told me she was evil, with a smile. Called herself an "evil fiend". Sometimes she came back sobbing that she missed me; the wife I used to know. But it didn't last long.
At this point, I realized this was all above my pay grade. Many psychologists do associate an element of demon possession with some narcissists; it is the only way I can explain my five years of marriage with this woman. Nothing is reasonable and nothing makes sense. I have to move on. She is violent and destructive; especially to herself. She is destroying herself and her life. My heart breaks for her but she will ruin me, if I allow it.
I’m so glad I don’t care about him anymore. That trauma bond was a monster I never want to fight again. It definitely changed who I am. Mine is blocked on everything. I’ll even search every few months for fake accounts and block them as well. I ain’t dumb. I know he checks my social media. I don’t even have desire to see what he’s doing. Stay strong to all of you. It does get better. 💜💜💜
My ex has checked on my Social Media account..I've blocked all angles today
@@merylwalkley8087 good for you! Stay strong. We are survivors. 💜💜
You aresoo strong.. I wish I can do this all but I still love him.. leaving him like leaving without oxygen.. 😭😭😭😭 it's feel like I am all alone without him or he is the only one.... Even I know all of his evil .. but still.. 😞😞 why can't narcissist change. I wish I can change him.. but I can't 😭😭😭😭
I looked at my narcs fb page for at most two minutes and that was enough to convince me she needs a lot of attention and probably a lot of lovers. I doubt if it was two minutes. They are too creepy, but the love bomb is so wonderful.
I love this.
What a journey this was for me. It took me a full year, even after I knew what I was dealing with, to finally move on from it. You want so much for them to be something else and they aren't. They just aren't.
Gosh that’s so true!
I'm 8 months in. Not even close to healed. 15 years was too long with a narc.
8 months in. Not fully healed but doing so much better. It takes time
I’m with one right now. Actually I’ve been discarded , but keeping the option open that we could fix this. I understand what I’m dealing with now , but as you said , I’m finding it hard to move on. I know it’s best , but loving someone is what makes it so hard even though that I know she doesn’t really care for anyone but herself.
Weird Demons stay away from them!!
Whether they moved on or not, it’s over!
Moving forward requires self reflection.
Deeper levels 👌
They always ALWAYS come back!!!
Unless you make it very clear 😂
@@Devik666 they always always come back!!!
Some of mine have been gone 25 years
@@Richard-vq7ud then they likely were not narcissist.
@@sallyjones9144 so mine hoovered me like 5 times in 2 years and has all the traits of a narc but it’s been more than a year NC you’ll say he wasn’t a narc? Nah! It’s just that he knows I know! 🤷🏻♀️
Mine tried to come back but I rejected her, She could not believe that I wanted nothing to do with her. I have been NO contact now for 2 1/2 years its been so peaceful. Never look back just keep yourself moving forward!
Yeah his constantly telling me we are over but he hasn’t moved on but he wants me to move on and tells me how he has options
This is why they come back, because they see you as an object that doesn't change. A narcissist has an introject of you in their mind, this is what they refer to when they think of you. They don't interact with the real you, hence why they never get to understand you. The introject is static in their mind, this is why they can't understand when it doesn't match the real you, especially if you change or don't agree with them. When the introject and real person don't match it causes cognitive dissonance and anxiety.
Excellent explanation. Thank you.
Exactly narcs can't handle people change
Your 💯 correct. They will breadcrumb little messages to you to see if you bite. The advice is solid keep silent, do not respond at all. Keep doing you, get stronger, healthier and more resilient. Stand in your power. Hold true to you. Don’t give them supply.
They collect people, a narcissist I got involved with briefly still tries to get my attention when I see them. I pretend I don't even know who they are and look right through them. He recycles his ex all the time. They are always in their head, conjuring up plans, plots, etc.
If you were the one to discard the narcissist before they were able to discard you! They have a narc. Injury and want full on REVENGE! Once they are GONE, close the door permanently and nail it shut! A narcissist is a gate keeper to HELL!
Can't be agree more. With lot courage i choose no contact with narcissist. Because he disturb my healing in silence with his manipulation. While he was actually moving on. But the extreme reaction i have seen after going no contact is disaster. It seems like he is doing things that he don't even know. His reactions seems like he is not even his senses.
You are so right! My mistake is when I went back and the revenge was even more painful. 3rd time? HELL NO!!!!!!
Its a clear sign ..... narcissist leaves u for cold and u bet it they try to come back .....weird way of life......be gone
I blocked her from everywhere after she discarded me and jumped into her new supply like a year and 4 months ago. And I stopped looking at my Gmail spams 4 months ago, I wasn't even curious about what she was emailing to me :-) I saw her yesterday at a large meeting, she was acting as if she was the heart-broken angel 😇 Seeing her made me feel anxious for two days but it will pass too ...
Stay strong Bro
I left my ex narc months ago. Went NO CONTACT. Changed my phone number, blocked all the flying monkeys that tried to reach out to me. He hand delivered a letter to my mailbox the end of October. Periodically I see him drive by my place slowly. Ugh. 7 years was enough.
Lmao I bet he looks so stupid passing by😂😂
She's not coming back. Thank God
She did stay in touch with all her exes..not here tho. They do leave the door open, but I closed it.
A Ex is a Ex For a REASON
Thank you for this fantastic video. Now I see why two of his ex's were still in his life. At the time I didn't know they were exes because he lied about who they were. It is so disgusting that they just can't leave us alone and move on to someone else to try to have a normal relationship and let us do the same. My guess is exnarc won't leave me alone until he finds a suitable and good replacement, which he has not yet. I've never experienced this with any other breakups. This is hard to deal with later in life. The idea of dating anyone ever again is not appealing.
The ex narc had 3 ex wives, first one ran off with someone else and disappeared, the 2nd had nothing to do with him as did their 2 daughters. His 3rd ex wife stood for none of his carryon, their daughter disowned him, the son has only recently come back into his life, but the narc blamed the boy’s mother saying she poisoned their daughter and his 2 elder ones against him. He has 2 exes that he bought houses with (I’m the 3rd in 7 years, we all left him), he’s convinced the other 2 it was all their fault for the split and still talks to them, however more so in the last couple of months before I moved out as he suspected I was taking him to court for harassment (I am), so he’s been phoning these 2 and another ‘friend’ every other day to get character references as to how good he is. What he didn’t know was I had 140 recordings of his rants, rages and threats. The first 90 are with the police and they phoned me 2 weeks ago to get his number to phone and invite him in for a voluntary interview. I have to go back soon for a video statement and to take the remainder with me. The week before I moved out (I’m away 4 weeks today), I had to install a camera in my bedroom as he would barge in without knocking every day, sometimes 8 times in an hour….all recorded. I’ve blocked him on my phone and he has no idea where I am now. I can bet he detests me as I’ve exposed him.👍
My ex had kids in their mid30s and was in constant contact with the ex-wife
Totally relate Danielle! I made him remove his ex from his social media list but he re added her AFTER I left him because he physically abused me! 😡. She’s STILL on there. I just wonder why they don’t just get back together?😂. His other ex who left him for another man has nothing to do with him but I bet she would be on there too! He’s also got hundreds of other females on there too!
Yes I feel the same I’m turned off dating but we can’t let them ruin our future happiness. We just need to be more aware now of the red flags and leave when we see them! . Stay strong 💪 😊
My ex had 2 exes one which he married. He has an adult child with each. He tried to triangulate me with both of them during our 17 year relationship . I caught him texting another woman who I hear he’s going to marry. Funny thing is they’ve been together for almost 2 years, yet he never acknowledges her or her 2 young kids on his social media. He doesn’t have her interact with his children or his family either.
@@helenlovell8587 Thanks for your comment. They do try to recycle the exes as exnarc is trying to do with me. He also has another supply who supposedly isn't interested in him for a relationship but I know he is lying. He just wants his cake! It is so sad how they just want to use people who really did care about them. We've got to stay strong and never return to these people because in the end they will completely and utterly destroy us. Stay strong too and have a great holiday!
The narcissist was never in it to begin with
"If you're not connected to yourself, how can you be connected to someone else". Love it. They just want attention. If you look carefully.. and open your mind to it. You'll see they have other people they're trying to hoover in.
They will stay the Same till they die !!!
So true. She often talked with her ex's. Now I understand why this happened. Thankyou.
Talking with ex’s isn’t a major issue unless there is intent to cheat, emotionally or physically. Im friends with a few of mine, and that is something my narc ex fixated on to the point she was inventing things that weren’t true.
Great video and the truth of how a narc just decides to hoover back into your life when its good for them and the attachment disorder they have with past ex's
They are loquacious talkers for sure!!😮
Thay only come back to cause more pain an try do what thay failed to do distroy you
I'm glad that my relationship with a narcissist only lasted 3months.
I was so annoyed by my phone ringing all the time. He wanted to know what I was doing all the time...and he called me every 2hours.
I realized in a very short period of time that he didn't make me happy.
We only watched T.V at his place or mine. Where was the romantic evenings...flowers?...going out to dinner or to the movies?
I was very aware after a short time that I was being "devalued".
He was very"Grandiose" when he talked about himself. He had tons of money....and knew celebrities...lol!
I was on to him but he didn't know that....he knows now.
Do I miss him ...NOPE and he will not be in my life any more...ever.
BTW... the final straw was when he just popped up on my job.....DONE!
This is so spot on and the reason I watch these videos on narcissism. I broke up 14 years ago and one of the things the ex said to me was that he lied about meeting someone else ( that was a lie) because he wanted to get my attention. When I showed disinterest that’s when he admitted there was someone else. I went no contact soon after and the hoovering has been going on even after marrying the girl he met. No boundaries no respect.
It's been over a year since our breakup and she still covertly stalks me and my friends. Ive gone no contact and I'm convinced she is watching from the shadows since she doesn't have a way to actually contact me, that's how I know that I did a good job at going no contact and moving on with my life, left no weaknesses in my defenses for her to sneak in
I knew about narcissistic people before, by not very much. After 2 months with a covert, I am pretty devastated. Lucky for me I found this channel to help guide me through this. I have discarded the female covert narcissist and I am trying to move forward. This has been an extremely difficult time for me. I am so grateful to have your help, without it, I would be in serious trouble.⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
And what was the red flag/flags ?
@@tjradmila There were many, but I didn’t know until after the fact what I was seeing. She is pretty much a case study in covert narcissism. So I had love(like) bombing, future faking, manipulation, emotional abuse, devaluation, pushing away, pulling back…..EVERYTHING. I only knew after I researched female covert narcissists that I was dealing with a real monster. She has a lot of negative energy, and she took everything from me that she could. She is like a demon.
@@c.s.s.1723 i know what you mean. As I said. They are worse than acid.
Yep. I had dealt with overt narcissists at work and socially. However, I had not been involved with a covert narcissist before so missed the red flags until it was too late.
Really evil.
I was with mine for 2 and a half months, she love bombed me got super upset when I called her out on something small and she stated she wasn't feeling the warm and fuzzies right now and then 2 weeks after that I took her out on one more date and I could just tell she had already discarded me in her mind. I took her home and then texted her I was done and then she had the nerve to text me and say she didn't know how to act when someone pulled away from her other than to pull back herself but yet I never pulled back from her and then she agreed to the ending of the relationship and then told me to have a good night and hope I'm happy. Here's where it gets interesting though, she unfriends me on Facebook but keeps me on Snapchat for a day and she started posting stories on Snap of herself and I could see the thumbnails of what she was posting but would not actually look at her stories, after she realized I wasn't checking her stories she deletes me off Snapchat. She was clearly a narc and that powerplay with snap to try and get a rise out of me just proved it all.
I literally cried in the end..i really loved him..but i know ..have to accept the reality ..i wish he did the same
But it's ok
My narcissistic ex discarded me after 8 years. I gray rocked her for 3 years before she did. I'm now happier, healthier and enjoying my time with a new empathetic partner.
haha mine discarded me aswell after 8 years, she did it to me twice, first time was at year 3 , i made a mistake of taking her back, then again at year 8 , both times there were different guys, both times were on the day of our anniversarys , i grey stoned my ex too, for 3 years,, but she came back and fabricated a story n tried to put me in jail so she could get full custody and run off with my daughter, very sick human beings
@@slyfly4829 agreed, terrible people, glad you escaped. Let's not fall into again.
After discarding me 2 years ago, the narc hoovered me 3 or 4 times but I shut him down. That was about a year ago, nothing since.
@Meg Reese Yes! 😁
@Meg Reese Thank you! 🥰
Just because there’s no contact (because they have so much pride) doesn’t mean they don’t stalk your social media, copy you, compare you to their spouses and still feel like you want them
Exactly- they had to change their persona or identity in order to please the others yet they will call their supply people pleasers. No, that’s a common misconception, by being in a relationship where one is faithful and has formed a bond or attachment is normal to try to preserve it and maintain it if even love or friendship is involved. The ones who are people pleasers are the narcissists who constantly emulate a new persona and take one multiple new identities in order to mimic people of their interest and get from them what they need instead of being whole and forming their self and stand for it and being ok with the few people who accept them as they are, with whom they can form an intimate relationship or a genuine mutually supportive friendship.
I let him come back since the last brutal discard took me a long time to heal, but I guess I still was healing because I let him come back listened to his lies and apologies and guess where I am now? In the same cycle! Love bombed me big time so I thought wow he has changed, but then months later my intuition was telling me it's too good tobe true, he started acting funny again then I questioned again over and over what's going on then I see now the gaslighting, manipulation, arguing for no reason, everything is my fault once again we keep trying but doesn't work and BOOM the discard came and he's onto the next supply! Oh how I feel like such a fool and I'm honestly struggling more this time
This too shall pass, hold your head up and stay strong u got this. MERRY Christmas to you 😊
I'm so sorry this happened again. We didn't deserve any of it
@@sharonstallwort8303 I hope so! Thank you and Merry Christmas to you too!
@@DJAntonetti absolutely did not especially the second time and 3rd and God God how many I didn't know about before I found out about narcissism! I just feel Luke they get worse every single time! I didn't even get, let's be friends or nothing, just abuse, discard.
@kristinahunnii yes. Not sure if this happens to you but, I'll watch all these Covert Narc channels that talk about what the Narc probably did during the relationship and after discard and some of it lines up but some of it doesn't. Like the "let's be friends" thing. Mine didn't say that. She just said I pushed her to end it and that she needed to move forward with no contact. It's crazy making and makes you doubt yourself. Guess they all follow the same basic phases with subtle variations and differences
I didn't give him the pleasure to dump me, I did. Everything said in this video is 100% accurate. He came back several times, after getting new supplies, he realized that I was the best toy...I receive calls from an unknown number, I know it's this piece of trash trying to make his way back. DO NOT pick up, if you are not sure about the number, don't take the call ( they often have minimum 2 mobile phones). Make sure he is blocked on every social media, basically EVERYWHERE. Trust me, time helps. Be patient, treat yourself and the image of this vermine will slowly fade away.
Change your phone and get a new number?
@@thrivingnow7395 why should I ? If he makes the mistake to leave a message I'll go straight to the police. If a narc wants to contact you, he will find a way no matter what.
@@stephanieklein9182 because then you are not on guard about odd numbers coming in. No contact means blocking every single avenue of contact. Making it as difficult as possible for them.
@@stephanieklein9182 mine had cloned mine and my daughter's phones and tracking software. Took me a year and half to find that out. Get rid of the phone. Change all passwords on computers etc.
You are spot on. My ex came back to me after 10 years. Her excuse was for the sake of our children whom are 20 and 24 years old. I didn't even bother to reply to her.
My ex discards and stays gone anywhere from 6mons to a year... But it's not moving on when they're trying to hoover & come back your way while they're with the person they left you for.......Let's just call it " We took a break" that you didn't agree to...if we're gonna be honest!....
Spot on... That's truly how they see it... Have some fun here, have some fun there... In fact, let me collect a whole harem while I'm at it and you will wait for me right, just in case it all doesn't work out?!?!!.... 😅😂🥴
Ohh and ofcourse, they loveee to triangulate all of their supplies... So that's a thing too... Sad crazy creatures.....
Once you finally beat a narcissist, another has been created.
The abyss does stare back 😝
It's a game/challenge for the narcissist. Each boundary you set. They take that as a "challenge" and will be their priority to get a reaction from you by overstepping your boundaries.
Same as classic syndrome never there fault always us
well, i can understand why you say this. i think there needs to be more data to assess, but i'm not sure. it's hard to always post the shite moments in life. i respected seeing healthy conflict resolutions on a certain channel. she was judged for showing it, but, i think it's important. even classy ladies can handle conflict resolution and even post it online...wish more would discuss it for others to see.
So true. My x thought he can move on from me we do have three kids he useds the excuse to talk to me. But everytime time we speak we fight. I am trying to move on i love him he we were together for 11 years but yes everything you are saying is so true.
You can’t have closure because there was nothing wrong to begin with. They don’t have a proper excuse. You did nothing wrong…
The initial breakup sucks so much. I was only with my ex for 2 months before walking away but it crushed me. Alot of hours spent crying and feeling overwhelmed but all things pass.
Watching these videos and studying the stoics has helped me so much.
They all seem so perfect in the beginning and when that mask comes off its so confusing and painful. 😢
If i didnt learn what narcassism was i wouldnt have had the ability to walk away.
You seperated right after the love bomb so that is immensely harder than going through their cycles and being abused and then discarded and rinse and repeat etc. Because the good stuff is still so fresh in one's memory.
They truly want to crack you like a nut to get to your authenticity which they lack.
I'm so glad you were able to get away and seperate and heal ❤.
It's an amazing feat once you realize how many people cannot make the jump.
I was surprised too when I saw them stalking me on social media and then her groupies showing up to my family's places .
Makes no sense .
Great content as usual! Would you consider making a video about the narcissist and their phone? Thank you!
YOU move on. Once you have made it clear that they best not cross your path again- they will believe you if you block them every where. You stop going where they also went. YOU have to make the final break and maintain it. If you see them again- walk on by. If they contact you another way- block them there also.
This person will never have another opportunity at me again or in the future the door is close permanently she needs blame her parents for missing up her childhood like that didn't teach her love at all or give her capability of love so this where all her problems coming that childhood, she did a lot of damage to my heart in a short period of time to where cannot return too me at all everything I need too know about a narcissist I know now and I thank God for that wisdom and I know she being control by demonic spirits of Satan so I m gone for good from this person and that is a good thing I don't want to we live that nightmare again with her every she can continue live devilish life without me in I love my peace from God period....
I replied to a hoover after 24 years...biggest mistake of my life! Another round of abuse, love bombing, gaslighting, betrayal then discard...just over 3 yrs out now and I'm finally loving life and myself again. I won't ever respond to him again, lesson learnt.
Thanks for you great videos and work. It is an awful thing to come to the realization that the person you fell in love with doesn't see us (you, me) in the same way. The hardest part of all of this is having the knowledge to allow the rational part to see the truth, but the emotional part keeps trying to resurrect the hope in something that doesn't merit hope or wanting, but it's still hard because we are only human. Oh well, I am finding that for me I am still struggling with this unhealthy obsessing and craving to this person to the point where even I know its ridiculous, but still hurts. It is like an addiction, I have missed persons from my past, but no matter how hard it was I got over it in time, this is sooooooooo different, it is like a long drawn out detoxification worse than drugs or drink, no joke. Good luck everyone and Merry Christmas. We ae not alone huh......
No, we’re not alone! Don’t feel bad, I am hurting too. Mine ghosted me and acting so strang for months, I’ve been a month no contract and he sent me a message short and to the point “ Sorry to bother you, but wanted to see how you are doing “ I have been listening to videos every day all day and feeling stronger, so I’m mad that I even answered him. I hope I didn’t mess up! All I said back was “Thank you I’m doing good” 😫🙏
My problem is, I absolutely cannot abandon hope that maybe she will see the error of her ways. Even after being treated poorly for so long I promised that I'd ever abandon her. The discard process in and of itself is ridiculous, but here I am 6 weeks later still a fucking mess.
It's as if you read my mind. I'm feeling, thinking and experiencing the same thing. Sucks that I fell in love with an illusion, and am still struggling to let go, 4 months after brutal final discard, and she already has new supply
@@kennethallen1765 hang in there bro 🙏😔💔
@@Danzaxe69 I understand this. Keep telling myself that they're sub human. Their heart isn't kind enough to fight for love. We're disposable to them. In time we'll heal & see that we're better off without their type.
Narcs move away, never move on !
I broke up with her a month ago. I haven't heard anything from her. I found out that she lied to me and cheated on me. My intuition kept telling me but I didn't listen. I sent her a very long email, very straightforward, mature and I gave quotes and examples the abuse she put me through. I let my friends and therapist read it. They all thought I did a great job. My ex's response? "Seriously, get help." I do still love her but I will never go back. We were off and on for 5 1/2 years.
i felt like a option after a while cause they kept coming back like it was nothing and i said no more. i’m THE ONE AND ONLY. so i cut her off. it’s very difficult. people are just terrible. i can’t be around that no more. it’s not healthy.
Exactly, I was thinking something similar these days that it is an emotional dysfunction defined by an overactive compensatory negative emotions, on the one hand and on the other hand, by inactive or turned-off positive emotions, denied access to them as this would require an honest, open and vulnerable attitude and willingness to work through the emotional pain caused by the root-cause, allowing themselves to heal the trauma, work on activating affective empathy but often the baggage as the years pass is so gigantic (and it keeps growing with every decision they make and every cycle and discarded and devalued supply, with every crushed heart and soul) that they wouldn’t be able to look at themselves and all the destruction they left behind.
This makes a lot of sense
I was dumped after a year. Pregnant after he lied about his vasectomy and denying his baby. I’m still recovering. I was a wife before I never been treated like this before
I had one to come flat our and tell me he had a vasectomy but he can reverse anytime....we didn't have sex because I felt like...." why tell me that and we just on our fourth date?'
It was off putting and a red flag to me. Sorry this happened to you
I messaged my ex narc over the debt we acquired. She had the audacity to say I make more money, she’s out there taking vacations spending money on products with their new supply. She used me reaching out to resolve a conflict to manipulate, bringing back the good memories. Telling me I hacer her heart and the other does not ect ect. I went into reactive mode; I went off and feel shame for it. The fact you telling me you learning and changed when you lying to everyone around you. She used my reaction to show others I’m crazy or bi polar. Why do ppl believe them. Took me 2 years to go over what we went through to know I was abused emotionally and mentally. It’s like she tries to see what I’m doing for her to weasel herself back in. It’s not normal. Now on top of that I feel like she’s using my personality and what I believe in and passing it as her character.
People believe them for the same exact reason you believed them in the beginning…they are extremely crafty manipulators
I truly believe that a narcissist want the person to believe they moved on sometimes the narctassic lose there touch not everyone fall for there bullshit. When they can't find someone they tend to come after there ex. Remember narctassic is good at lying.
Agree with you narctassic will make up anything to make themselves to look good but miserable at the same time. That's why they use that fake smile and lies.
I have so many horrible conditions after my relationship
Like weird things happen?
@@iamenergy9310 I have PTSD, MCAS, Agoraphobia,
lol yup it was weird to me how my narc ex would not leave it alone how we needed to stay friends after, and how I was so terrible for trying to move on from my relationships while she kept all her exes on a friend shelf, conveniently in reach - NO THANK YOU.
Same!!!!
I creeped out of state... but im going to creep back when i know for sure hes forgotten about me😂
My ex-narc called me once to tell me how lonely and alone he was and how much he wanted to find a companion, a lady; I told him good luck with that.
Mine Moved On. Right on. Moved On to meeting, marrying, and divorcing the "New Supply" all in under 1 year... Moved On to a digital bathroom scale because the analog only went to 300. Moved On to the troublemaking Mother Inlaws funeral dead at 64. And Moved On to working like a sled dog in the city 60 hours a week until old age, instead of retiring early in the prime of life to the country on a fully stocked farm with me.
@@Confessions089 Look, I don't care other than the analogy and lesson. It was me who broke off the engagement, mutual friends wouldn't stop with the bulletins and that was 20 years ago. You want to make any more assessments?
My ex came over so we could talk and he began subtly going through things. I told a friend and he said he was looking for signs of someone else being around
He was contacting me while being with someone else but I refused to be triangulated
Same.. my ex is currently in a relationship and contacting me. He's using the "we can be friends" line to keep contact
@@nathalia504 same hereee!
Merry Christmas to all of you 🎄
Thank you, Anoushka, 🥰
You have another more personal level of explaining, what many of us are experiencing 🤗
It's like someone with dementia, unaware theirs anything wrong and just not aware and blaming the victim whoever calls them out, 🙏😇♥️
It's like crossing a toddler with a remote control that controls a lion a tornado and and 11:41 11:42 the BEAR that killed the grizzly man, and a 100ftcrocodile, with a weed habit,.. to high to get over. Too low to get under, Stuck in the Middle, and the pain is 12:24 thunder ■ 12:05
It's the " Psychology of Communication " at this point for me. Interpersonal Communication is key, and when my narcissistic friend "acts up " , I look for the game being played...and use short statements in conversation with this individual. This individual wants to " use" me, but, I try to reverses the narcissistic manner, and be " myself ", without using more than three words, a gesture and a smile. Not to be infuriating, in my mannor nor confrontational, but, project in my small respectful way. " I am aware" and emit a manner, in the Interpersonal dynamic, that I am a person, not " a doll" to be made to dance, "pulling strings"...or "puppetry. If, needed...I pull the strings on him, and it's infuriating to him. Peace Christopher
It’s so sad 😢he doesn’t even seem to care how my own children feel/ grandchildren! He appears to be the best grandpa ever. But I saw a lot of sick animal stuff that we erased by both of us… now I’m thinking with him getting older and from our 42 years of lies as a marriage! I think I know a little about him actually being a sick sex addict! He’s moving on and I have all this paperwork to do… So even with his sick chooses. I win because I know I have my families and the King of Kings who have my back!!! So I’m a Princess! Amen 🙏!
Mine covert narcissist moved on. Never heard from him again. No messages no emails no nothing. It excists.
Same here. Haven't seen or heard from him in 11 years. We're better off.
She is too proud. She will never contact me again. I hoovered her back the second time because I really love her. We had issues but she ended the relationship with a discard both times and dated someone else immediately. I never understand how they run to someone else immediately after. Shaking my head...
What Amaze me the most
They cheat on you, and they acting like nothing happens,
Ther come back with more lies and no explanation what so ever,
It happens when the are not happy with the other person
Than they remember you again!!!
They don’t give a damn how you feel what you when througt if the break your heart 💔
I’m done this time no contact is the best way to protect my self from no empathy narc who doesn’t love no one… they don’t love you
The love the idea to be loved 🥰
Don’t look back ever
Nothing is going to change, it get worst and more painful.
That’s my experience and advice 🥰
I had never seen someone also so obsessed with the life of stars like actors, actresses, singers, models and all that popular trash gossip I take zero interest in. They have a serious obsessive thinking about comparison and competition which stem from the only low emotions they experience which is envy, jealousy and hatred and they instil them also in others, in their supply by creating triangulations, by using various put down techniques including pick-up artist (PUA) techniques, by gaslighting and driving you crazy in hidden ways, by using a hot and cold treatment. They can turn on all your defensive mechanisms and trigger all the demons inside you or leave you in a place of a total destruction and that’s what they take a joy in, in those moments of Schadenfreude or malicious joy because that’s gives them a feeling of a momentary satisfaction. But nothing ever fills the void inside, no amount of love or almost unconditional love, actually they despise it and will disrespect you the longer you stay in, the more chances you give them. Probably because they don’t know how to handle it as their mothers (at least in some cases) most likely created in them an Oedipus complex by behaving towards them in a sexual and possessive way (see Dr. James’ mother in Netflix show Maniac) alternating with destructive behaviour caused by consumption of substances like alcohol and drugs so most likely they also had some serious psychopathology and narcissists took on the very same or a similar behavioural patterns, unable to admit what their parents are like and stand up against their abusive parent(s), individuate from the real and the original source of malice and their own wound and illness.
From my observation make psychopaths usually hate their mothers even if they weren’t abusive while narcissists are incapable to detach from their abusive parent who is the source of all their suffering and the damage they cause to others. They apparently have serious memory gaps/ amnesia due to the daily denial and delusion they have been living it that they buried so deep all the traumatic memories that they cannot even recall them anymore. I am sure there would be a way how to access them as in the psychology there are number of successful techniques like Freud’s psychoanalysis or hypnosis but the first step would be to be willing, to find the courage and take finally the right risk instead of 1000 other risks and ‘opportunities’ they take.
What an opener to hear this explained! I’m getting the answers that I need. Thank you Anoushka for helping me and others.
NO CONTACT is the nuclear bomb against a narc. I did this with her, 3 years now, she is crazy. Is calling all my friends and smear campaign against me. Guess what? My friends called police for harassing. Nobody talks to her, she is getting in narcissistic collapse. Started to be funny
When does it started after the breakup
Immediately.
It's like living in an asylum which you never traveled to or even was aware of that you had a nut nut in your midtz who just see you as energy supply not you, wow♥️😇🙏
This is soooooo spot on!
Thank you, Anoushka.
Merry Christmas Anoushka and the happiest of new years , at this time of year you are the saviour xx❤
Thank you.
Can you say "I Left his sorry a$$"! I BLOCKED him /No CONTACT. And didn't look back! My freedom date is July 22 2022 at 8pm on a FRIDAY. 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉
My freedom date: Friday night, 7/12/24 @7:30.
Congratulations, you did it! Keep looking forward.@MariaCapo123
Sunday, 12/8/24 @ 4pm. Freedom Day
Congratulations! Stay strong..@@Brode77
They will not ever leave you alone, the dynamic will go from give me narcissistic Supply then get the heck on..........😊😮😢😊❤🎉😂 10:48
Hi, I think that you are completely right, Also I must say that I'mve watched lots of your videos. And yes, Whatever you saying is like, you are reading the books about them. It Is all true. Thanks
It's very sad for them and for me, her mother. 😔
in many ways i am like my mother, too. she has less faults, but, she has similar passion to help, but doesn't always know what to do.
Cold hearted af.
Yes hé came back, after 5 years..🙈
Ah man.. by phone or “ran into you”?
This is SOOO true!
I was my ex narc for 4 years...some of that time he was in prison for what he done to me. I've never before been with such a toxic and manipulative being in my life before and so at first it was so easy for him to talk his way round.
We dont live together and he is not to be around me when my children is present and so I'd only ever see him when my kids went to thr dad's every other wkend and he talked me into sorting himself out and proving himself to me in the meantime, yet he'd ring me out his face. A couple weekend when I it was my wkend with my kids he told me that he won't be able to contact me because his charger broke 🤣 I called him out on his lies and then he started turning it around and somehow blaming me saying I'm the reason why he is the way he is cause I don't support him enough. He even told me to move on and if it didn't work out with anyone else to then go back to him and he would be waiting. I stopped all contact with him from that point and hadn't heard anything suspecting he had found himself new supply.
So then today at 5am this morning I have missed calls from a number I don't recognise, I ring it and a girl answers. It was a girl (who hasn't got a good reputation I'd say with guys) who I always suspected he got with before which he always denied to me and she made out she didnt know whos number it was which was weird but i knew it had to be something to do with my ex. I told her to delete my number amd not contact me again. I suspected he was thr with her at the time. I have now hours later recieved a message from him saying he wants to go back prison. It's all so weird. I've completely ignored him. He hasn't cared one bit and gone with some other girl, yet now its coming up to a weekend to myself I think he's using tactics to get my attention even when he's with his new supply and even using her to contact me because although they dont have you they cant bare you getting with anyone else amd moving forward with your life without needed them . They think of no1 but themselves, their own needs and wants, noone elses. Such selfish individuals.
Mine purposely did not block me on messenger so that I can be nosey and see his dusty ass on his profile with the other woman that looks like she’s been hit by hell😂😂😂 Honey it bother me but now I’m like please he misses me I know he does
Uff..they are worse than acid.
Question ??? How long is it for a normal person that is damaged by a narcissist to move on ,,, ??? I just don’t have no interest ,,, I want to repair me …
Yes u right i know that everything it's gonna be okay i understand that
Suffering right now and I’m on the road to recovery after being destroyed from my relationship with my narcissistic ex girlfriend. In a nutshell, if you’re disconnected from your feelings, you can’t give others access to them either. I believe that’s what’s being said here.
My wife tells me we are over but doesn’t want a divorce. She is already seeing someone else and doesn’t want a divorce, What is with that?
Power and control, you know that
Take the power back. Do not discuss it with her. Just go ahead yourself and file for divorce. That's my suggestion!
Mine actually gave me closure (cos he didn’t want to be guilt tripped by his overt mum who complained me from dusk till dawn anymore) and wanted a divorce all of a sudden BUT once his mum left, he tried to hoover, I had no idea what he’s thinking at that time, I didn’t reply him (went no contact unintentionally), but now I finally figured out he’s a covert narc. It’s a total nightmare!!