How The Saints Guide Us To A Fruitful Marriage | Fr. Josiah Trenham
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 12 เม.ย. 2024
- Fr. Josiah Trenham's Latest Book "Enduring Love: Laying Christian Foundations for Marriage" on Amazon:
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Fr. Josiah Trenham is the pastor of St. Andrew Orthodox Church in Riverside, California.
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I've been praying to God for my husband. I've been lied to, manipulated, used and it's my fault as I lived for the world and did not wait for marriage. I deeply regret it and have repented I hope God has forgiving me.
God forgave and forgives you for sure. 1. John 1,9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
Be blessed
Of course God has forgiven you, sister ❤ I've struggled with exactly the same thoughts as you. But read the Prodigal Son and remember that God loves you so, so much, and He's rejoicing at the fact that you're back with Him
God loves you. And if you start to live yourself and serve God from a pure heart, you will receive what He intends for you. I promise you that a sincere change of heart and life will bring you peace and a partner who loves and admires you for YOU. Take care of yourself with respect and love. Attend a good church, find like minded people and have some married friends who can introduce you to a god single man also seeking marriage. You have inherent value and your past does not dictate your future if you choose a different future.
Philippians 4:19 But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus....🙂💖🙏
He forgives you, present past and future. When he had Jesus die on the cross for us, he took into consideration the sins you would commit during your life, the sins all of us would. He knows and forgives you for each one. You’re saved by grace, not your deeds 😊
Ephesians 2:8-9 in the Bible says that people are saved by grace through faith in Christ Jesus, not by their own efforts or works. The verse reads, "For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast"
I regret not having a relationship with Jesus Christ and marrying my wife outside of faith and outside of church. I keep praying that she finds Jesus and comes to love the Lord so that we may love the Lord together.
how is it going so far? im going to pray for you. God has called you, hopefully with time you can bring her closer to Christ. Don’t lose hope brother
I want to encourage you to continue to pray for your wife and your union. My parents were married in the church but my mother didn’t give her life to Christ until 26 years later. My father was always quite devout but it wasn’t until about 17 years after their marriage that I noticed a change in him. They’ve endured infidelity, depression and isolation and are now the strongest couple I’ve ever known. They now worship together and attend each other’s church’s (dad is Catholic, mom is Presbyterian). God works all things together and makes all thing new. I’m praying for you. God bless 💜
You have spiritual authority as the head of the house, loom up Father Ripperger. I have the same problem and my hubby has no faith and doesn't want me to teach our children faith as I had a conversion after we were married. I was very blessed we did get married in church. Ask Mother Mary to help you and guide you. I love you Mother Mary.
Keep praying for her to see who God is and come to Faith. Don't get discouraged.
Prepare your heart, love and serve God, and be loyal, forgiving, and sacrificial. And read 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
I'm 47 seconds in, and you've already made the point I was hoping for. Marriage is not just contractual or convenient. I've seen contractual marriages, and goodness is it painful to watch. It's a spiritual and physical union. There should be deep love and respect.
This man speaks clearly. May he keep being blessed with many opportunities to teach in love under Christ
A good woman is the bedrock of a home and family life. Choose wisely to have a blessed future. A man will go out and compete for daily bread and it can be most vexing so peace and order at home is a great blessing. If you've got it , cherish it.
The way you say 'order' sounds harsh. Instead let say it team work
So is a finding a good mM
@@bezamichael4591 order is fitting. Why do people want to run away from using direct words, there is nothing wrong with the word.
@UKAZI_Biblical_Womanhood because people abuse it in the wrong way. Personally, 'order' is a tough word instead I chose teamwork, and trust me it works for me.
@@bezamichael4591 tried and failed that approach. Soft or hard, my fault I guess . I'm stoked my kids became Cops ( worry big time , especially after giving benefit pain and gain lesson ) such is life if one is a daughter
I married young, nearly 19 years ago, and I do not regret it.
Now this is definitely a sign that im gonna marry
really lovely to hear that ❤
I have fallen short of God’s glory, I waited and kept myself for 3 years and got into a relationship then started sleeping outside marriage. May God have mercy on me and help me live a better life cause I really want to marry.
so grateful to get this kind of teaching before l become a wife. The part where he said we should become whats on our list!!!! GOLD SOLID GOLD
I agree!!!!!!!! i was blown awayyyyyyyy. I have to really level up now hah
Yes!! I love that ❤
Thank you ❤
Orthodox Christian faith is awesome
Except for all the worship to the creation when very plainly in the escriptures that we can ONLY worship God the creator
So they are just another branch of catholisism actually they were one back in the day, so go figure
@@rhema238yeah, except for anyone who makes claims to that Orthodox Christian faith is a branch of the catholic church is twisting the Truth and is misleading people from finding the Truth.
Worship is sacrifice. Worship is not merely prayer. Prayer is but a request. Pray ye one for another, Scripture says, not worship ye one another. So then, the real question here is not who can pray for whom, but what is the Church? Yes, the Catholic and Apostolic faith is different from whatever you believe. He who eats my flesh and drinks my blood abides in me and I in him, says the Lord. In the original faith, both the living and the dead are alive in Christ. Cf: The transfiguration and Moses and Elijah speaking to the Lord before the three apostles. Our living and dead are one in Christ and all in Christ can pray for each other.
PS - it also helps not to throw out the deuterocanon - 2 Maccabees has examples of both the living praying for the dead and the dead praying for the living. That was the reason it was excluded form the Protestant bibles, which are modified canons that suit Protestant dogmas.
Ex Protestant, now Orthodox (Oriental)
I hope to become a priest soon, the hardest thing is to find the right person to marry!
I agree may you find your person ☦️
Date well and trust God
If you haven’t considered celibacy, do consider and discern the fruits of celibacy versus the fruits of marriage.
I leave everything in God's hands. Let it be his will and not mine amen 🙏🏼
I’m so happy for everyone being able to watch this video to prepare marriage. I hope you guys can pray for me to be like this or that one day
Fr Josiah is a gigachad
Being strong in singularity of mind is preperation.
Find the light in your soul before holding hands with darkness....is preperation .
Preperation: cleansing of the mind, body and spirit.
Knowing your angels and demons inside reduce the devils whispers....reflection is preperation.
You’re so respectful when talking about other religions. You are skilled in speech
Even if I'm not yet married, I can still prepare myself to be able to be ready, if it is in God's Plans for me. And if there's a Godly Man is ready & available.
If nothing else, I can learn how to become a better Deciple of Jesus Christ, and as a member of His Church, a better Bride of Christ; awaiting His return for the Millennial Wedding Feast!
I can choose to be a Wise Virgin, awaiting for the Bridegroom to arrive. 🕊️
Hi
Thank you for this channal. I'm from Ortodox Serbia and I'm very happy to hear ortodox teaching outside ortodox countries.
Believe it or not, I had a family meeting with my children. We talk about the marriage chapter. I said the same thing B/c that is my culture. This is how I grew up. But my kids are more like Wester. But thanks to God I found a priest talking about this topic. which made my date. I sent this video to all my family to hear it. You are the best
This is the teaching I've been looking for. Thank you, father, for this video. It's so helpful. 💯🙏🏽
I wish I knew more before I married; I wouldn't struggle and stress this much. Thanks to God, I learned a lot from my 10-year marriage.
Thank you, Father. I am still learning daily.
Wow another absolute gem☦️. Thank you Fr. Josiah for your thoughtful and caring words. Glory to God!
What a blessing this was. I believe God when he said marriage was a good thing. This world has made me terribly fearful about it.
It's a pleasure for me to find content like this
I am now ready for marriage, praying for a suitable mate
This man speaks with authority. God bless his teachings. He is right about the difficulty having multiple partners brings into a marriage. God in his goodness has still blessed me with an amazing spouse, even after years of abusive relationships--after I was reproved and gave my life to Christ. After I started my relationship with Jesus and dedicated my life to him, he gifted me with such a loving man!! We've been married two years and love God together after both being through the ringer. Praise Motsah!!
This was beautiful. Very clear and precise. Thank you to the father who explained this. I am still young but this clarifies a lot of my doubts regarding marriage. Praise be to God.
based ☦
Straight and to the point. No fear or strayi g fron the truth of what God has said in the Word and how to APPLY it in real day to day life. People crave this type of teaching.
"Marriage is an adventure, like going to war." - G. K. Chesterton
Thanks! Such a great message!
Thank you for this video!
Thats amazing omg
Very well said
Thank you ❤
Amazing content. Wow. Absolutely on point
❤thank you 😅
This is amazing omg
Thank you❤❤❤
This really blessed me.
This was so, so good. Thank you
I am indeed blessed, thanks for the knowledge
Absolutly amazing clip. Well said
Precisely what I needed to hear. Thank you.
Greatings ftom Eritrean orthodox . Father bless
He's speaking facts 💯
I love listening to him
God bless Father! So educational❤
Love this insight and wise words. So much clarity, it’s truly not emphasized enough of Gods Love restoring years and years of broken marriages that have fallen out of love in any way etc.
It only seems as “fantasies” but truly , I wish it was spoken and more brought to light but we destroy that by deeming it disgusting. I’d love to hear more of marriages and relationships restored whether it may be 5 year marriages, 10 years and so on.
Because truly love is limitless and beyond human nature rights and compression. God is willing by all means if we can truly look pass love and success
Focus is preperation.
Amen 🛐
Plus a broken and a contract heart the Lord would not Despise
He is right about that.
Subscribed. Excellent content
That was amazing. I listening to him. Glad i gound this. He has a good way with words and delivery.
Thank you father God bless
Bless you father and thank you for sharing your wisdom🙏✝️
This was an incredible teaching! You broke this down beautifully and with so much clarity. 🙏🏻
A similar video about monasticism would be greatly appreciated
Everyone has discern prayer. If being called . Be what your looking for.
Wow, what powerful truths and beautifully spoken.
This is good!
Yes it is 💯
Thank you Fr. Josiah T. I saw a short clip and decided to search for the full video. These words are true and blessed. You’ve shared great insights by God’s grace and I’ve had this one repeat ever since. Your teachings resonates with a deep longing I’ve had about building a Christian family. I’ve been taught a lot about marriage in my church but never really got to hear profound spiritual truths like this. GOD bless you.
Amen.
Amen ✝️
Your words are profound - I’m moved by the contrast of a godly perspective to our culture today.
Wow this is so powerful. Infidelity is normative. Chastity. Wow feeling this. Sacred words.
AMEN
Hallelujah amen... On a retreat and the Spirit put this song on my heart..i did not know the name, i only remembered a line or two from Wesele days..and im not xhosa or too familiar.. i finally found it and it refreshed my soul 😊 ❤❤❤
Mann this guy makes you really think.
Father Josiah's words on marriage are inspiring, succinct, and biblically grounded that, if anyone wasn't able to understand them, he should devote more time to contemplation on this topic.
It might help to have a class for people who hope to get married that delineates what Fr. Josiah has stated. It gives serious thought before even having a partner that might have served to avoid divorce. Without knowledge, the people perish.
I enjoyed this discussion, God bless this man 🙏
❤
Thank you Father could you please talk about marriage outside the true Church eg civil marriage etc.
Roman Catholic looking to convert here-I did prepare, did pre-cana and more. I have found I married a truly evil man, and I don’t use that lightly. I’m trying my best to honor God each day. Advice for those in my situation?
search For Kevin LA Ewing, on marriage
John MacArthur and the orthodox fathers are truly biblical. Wow fantastic work I always feel closer to whole listening to them.
What Fr. Trenham said about a marriage having very little hope after having already been with someone was discouraging. As a woman who has a sexual past from before I was Christian, hearing those words sting. Trust me, I understand the importance of celibacy now, but what about true repentance? Still no hope? Maybe I’m just in my feelings.
You can repent. Nobody is saying you can't be saved. But it's hard, from a human standpoint, to accept that kind of past. If my future wife, assuming there are still good chaste women left in this side of heaven, says to me "I have been with 5/10/20 guys, that hurts even more. Imagine the One that you love more than anybody else, telling you other 20 men have been inside her. That's excruciating. It's rips my heart apart.
When You have sex with someone, you create soul ties. It's not just a physical transaction. You form an eternal bond with that person. Unbreakable.
The Orthodox Church teaches that baptism removes all your sins in Gods eyes. At each confeasion that we make in earnest spirit, our sins are also forgiven.
However we still need to confront our actions aswell as continue to repent and fight our passions the rest of our lives. With Christs help!
@@giorgiogiorgetti3939 Well yes, I understand that. I didn’t think he was implying that one can’t repent, my issue was the comment about a marriage not working out. With God, anything is possible. My issue is not with a man not wanting to date me because of my past, that’s his prerogative, but the statement that a marriage would not work. So people with a past basically might as well not get married if that’s the case.
Why is that excruciating? Because of jealousy?
@@umeahalla Absolutely! I’m a catechumen.
@@Phoebe907
1. Jealousy is not a bad thing. Even God is described as a jealous God. He wants exclusivity. And that's what a man and a woman should demand in their lifetime partner as well.
2. The likelyhood for marriage to work is close to 0. The more partners you have, the less likely it becomes to pair bond with someone. Also, chances of divorce go over the roof.
3.Your brain will automatically compare your current man with all the previous men you had. That generates insatisfaction. Cause no matter how good one can be, He can't beat all of them in all domains.
4. I would never date a woman that has been with other men. I can be friend and have brotherly love for her, but it's hard for me to view her as the mother of our children.
5. Soul ties are real. You can't magically change your past. Or forget it. This is the reason why we always have a special place in our heart for our first GF/BF. It's not a good feeling to be considered as a back up plan for a women over25/30 after She has let other men be "inside" her.
So, a lot of reasons: social, antropological, spiritual, and why not jealousy.
I apologize for my english
So as someone playing married (he refuses to marry until he can make the ceremony “special”) also pregnant, and a two year old toddler, i have no idea what to do. I have hardly any income (im a stay at home during the week) and no place to go. I wasnt set on Christ until about a year ago, and i know ive gotten myself in a pickle, but it doesnt seem right to leave my home or child and he will just see it as me manipulating him into marriage
Isn’t the most important thing Love of God?
When to give up finding a spouse?
Divorce and remarriage is not adultery and if you render the text in its original language and context you will actually gain a more rich and meaningful teaching than the institutional church has been sharing to many of abused and neglected men and women’s demise.
For anyone who is hurting and looking for the teachings of Jesus to be clarified, I recommend you check out the Bible Project’s podcast episode on Jesus’ teaching on marriage and divorce. It’s very informative.
To be clear, I’m not by any means advocating for divorce. The ideal that Jesus references is that one man and one woman would be married for life, but know that if you do get a divorce it’s not adultery to remarry. 1 Corinthians 7:8 clearly articulates that it’s better to marry (or remarry in the case of divorce) than to burn with passion. It’s adultery to defile your marriage bed by engaging in porneia (I.e. sexual immorality). I’m advocating for more intentional and accurate teaching in the church. I love marriage and I want more beautiful kingdom marriages that are accurately representing the glory of God.
What are you talking about lmao put your feelings aside and speak the TRUTH. In 1 Corinthians 7:8 Paul is saying it is best to be unmarried and devout our life to God in flesh and spirit but those who cannot resist their fleshes desires might as well get married BUT he is specifically talking about the unmarried and widowed not the ones who have been married multiple times. In Matthew 19:8 Jesus himself said we were not supposed to divorce but because we are selfish, we do as we please & anyone who divorces except in cases of sexual immorality, IS committing adultery
God forgives
How about monastic life within marriage, what I mean is partners in pursuing spiritual life yet not necessarily family life/kids?
There is no model for this in scripture or nature. In fact, the Bible says not to withold marital relations from your spouse. Children are the natural result of marriage. Either you are called to both marriage AND children (if the Lord gives them to you) or neither.
What are the essential matrimonial rights to be consented to?
Where does one find a faithful wife in this day and age?
Oh wauw, what a handsome pastor…
I have a question for the Fr. Am I eligible of becoming a Fr. if I have remarried before finding Christ? Christ sacrifice on the cross has washed away all of my sins and to this day I die daily of my flesh and strive to carry my cross for Him, only to glorify Him. I desire deeply to be an overseer.
One who desires should never be. And generally no. Those who have been divorced are not eligible for the priesthood.
Are you an Orthodox Christian? If no, you can get baptised and become Orthodox and yes you can enter the priesthood. If you are Orthodox and divorced, you can’t enter the priesthood.
Are you Orthodox? If you aren’t you can become Orthodox and enter the priesthood.
@@irenevass6581 thank you. No I am not but considering
@@quickbreaks5865that’s good news then! You can become a priest. Once you are baptised into the church! Good luck and May God bless your path.
I am working on my relationship with God, and want to find a husband in the faith. I’ve only ever been with one person, but a woman, so I wonder how that will make a potential husband feel to know I’ve sinned in that way. I don’t want to be seen as unclean or deviant.
Im not watching the vid. But my take is become rich. Become a saint. Become a good looking saint .... your welcome
I just wanna find a guy who fears god , family oriented this days it’s rly hard it’s hard to know about them even if you date them for 4 month
What does one do when you feel no calling for anything?
That may be a sign of depression which is very treatable and can have insanely high success rates!
@@zachhensel8505I don't feel depressed.. What do you mean by success rates?
Chapter:Verse?
Where does polygyny become Sin?
Matthew 19:5-6 (NIV):
"And said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, let no one separate."
1 Timothy 3:2 (NIV):
"Now the overseer is to be above reproach, faithful to his wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach..."
Proverbs 5:15-20 (NIV):
"Drink water from your own cistern, running water from your own well. Should your springs overflow in the streets, your streams of water in the public squares? Let them be yours alone, never to be shared with strangers. May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. A loving doe, a graceful deer- may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be intoxicated with her love. Why, my son, be intoxicated with another man’s wife? Why embrace the bosom of a wayward woman?" and so on
@Juliana.moraes Easy.
First, NIV is garbage.
Second, thank you for taking the time out of your busy day to respond but, 1 Timothy 2:12.
Third, Matthew 19 is discussing divorce. Where it was common to put away with a wife for any and no reason at all and then to take another wife. Jesus commands us men to keep our wives, even the "******" ones.
And to piggy back that, a woman is not commanded, allowed, or in a place to divorce a husband. You will not find that anywhere in scripture either!
Fourth, the family unit is symbolic of the church. As an example with Noah and the Ark. HE was the overseer! Yet, you can find scholars that would argue that he also had multiple wives later. Scripture does not contradict itself! "A wife" or "one wife" as in "mia", should be "FIRST" wife. Here's a hypothetical, 1 man has been married and divorced multiple times, yet retains his last wife. But he has "one" and only one wife... Compare that man to a man who has been faithful to his FIRST wife, never divorced! God hates divorce! Let no man separate/put asunder that God has ordained!
Which "man" is more respectable in your opinion and better suited to lead?
Now what "IF" that man remains married to his FIRST wife AND takes to himself a second wife? Would you still argue that the serial divorcee is somehow better suited to serve as an overseer/deacon!? I wouldn't!
King David can write, but you wouldn't even allow him into your congregation to read!?
Fourth, I love wisdom! As a family, we are rereading Proverbs right now. I whole heartedly agree, I love my "one" wife. My "first" wife. I'm a man that loves "a" wife. Etc etc etc. All good! Likewise, you are correct, "Adultery" is defined as "sleeping" with ANOTHER MAN'S WIFE. Again, no contradicting verses here. David was a man after God's own heart, he was given the WIVES of the previous King. Remember? And if he wanted more, he could have simply asked. I think that's 1 Samuel 12?
UNLIKE incest, for example, that was "allowed" in Genesis, prior to the laws against incest in Leviticus. And unlike homosexuality which is still an abomination according the OT.
”Polygyny” NOT polygamy, is never outlawed. In fact, we'll find that IF man takes to himself a second wife, he is NOT to reduce his first wife's love and resources. Exodus 21:10.
In Genesis you will find that when Sarah brought to Abraham Hagar, there was a quarrel among the women, women will be women... But, what did God command Hagar to do? God Commanded Hagar to return and to Submit. Genesis 16.
Of course one could argue that it is commanded of men to take a second and wife in the event of a brother's death. Similar to the event with Boaz. I can speculate that as an old and successful man, he would have been married prior to meeting Ruth and Naomi. But it's not explicitly written as such. I could go on and on.
At best, you will resort to finding scriptures with "wife" in order to argue fallaiciously your point. While blindly ignoring the 40+ recorded instances of polygyny in your Bible.
You could even read Jewish folklore that claims Adam had two wives. Lilith and Eve.
Don't try to say that all polygynist marriages ended up bad. Remember Abraham, Isaac, Jacob.
We are all living in a fallen state, due to Eve and Adam's sin. Whether you be single, married, divorced, polygynist, or something else, etc etc.
Christ redeems, Husbands are called to be like Christ, washing our women with the Word. women are to respect their husbands.
It doesn't come natural, it takes effort on both parts.
Censored much..
Can women become nuns/monks in orthodoxy?
What do you teach the Bible says how men should act when a wife changes after marriage and doesn't submit anymore?
That's what always happens. It's the churches' best kept secret. The one constant that I have seen is men becoming better and better men, husbands, and fathers as they mature. The women, not so much. Look up bait and switch. It will tell you everything you need to know. Instead of sprouting all of this nonsense, we need to do right by our young men and show them the truth about women in marriage.
@@Blinkeebill I understand how they relax. But does the Bible say anything?
@jeffbradley9201 The bible feeds into this dynamic - Husbands love your wives, just as Christ loved the Church...This is where you get men trying harder and harder for women who put in less and less effort over time. Messages around wives submit to your husbands are reframed by those in ministry and the congregation to mean something totally different.
@@Blinkeebill so the church teaches if a woman doesn’t submit to her husband there’s no consequences. If a woman doesn’t feel “ loved “ she doesn’t have to submit. If a man / woman doesn’t submit to Christ there will be consequences. Am I close or wrong ?
@jeffbradley9201 You are 100% right. If she isn't submitting it is his fault and he needs to be a better, stronger, more competent man. He does that and than she still doesn't change. The goalposts will move. In no scenario is there accountability for her, even if she cheats.
Could anyone point me in the right direction? I have had quite a few “recreational relationships” and living with a woman to whom I was not married with. I recently decided to give my life to Christ. I know I want a wife. Where do I go from here?
Well, there’s no direct or easy way to go about it. But first and foremost, as Father Josiah said not playing married and mocking the sanctity of Godly marriage should precede. Then you ought to make sure that the your partner wants to go down the same path you have chosen. This might not be an easy decision as your partner might not want marriage or to follow Christ for that matter. Make sure you cleanse your relationship of any adultery and uncontrolled fornication and really focus on building a Christian marriage which entails praying together, going to church as a unit, protecting each other physically or spiritually. In Ephesians chapter 5 St. Paul speaks of the relationship between Jesus Christ, hallowed be his name, and his church and what secrets it reveals in the wisdom of being in a marriage. He says that the wife must honor and respect her husband as the Church does so and to submit to him. But here’s the kicker, he then proceeds to saying that the husband should live for, protect, and die for his wife as Jesus did for his Church (in simple terms). This is not an easy thing to say or do. Because this means your life should entirely be given to your spouse and your spouse only. To protect her, to live for and die for her if it comes to that. Your life is now dedicated, without doubt and with selflessness, to her and the offspring she bears you. For if a man really loves and respects his woman, as Jesus said there is no love greater than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. In this case your spouse. So it is necessary for you and your partner to practice these deeds until they become natural to you both and pray everyday for each other, support and trust each other. And God will see you and the effort you are making towards him and in the glorification of his Son, he will give you what your heart seeks. I wish you luck. May God be with you.
Visit your local Orthodox church and talk to a priest. Start praying and studying the faith. May God bless your journey!
@@podvizhnikband2775 thank you 🙏🏼
Read the Bible on the responsibilities of a Partner and try to be that with the help of Christ, but Start informing the woman you are living with on your New belief and how it doesn't allow the relationship you had. Ephesians 5 is a good starting point on relationships.