I got depression in 2021, during this period I discovered MBTI and psychology and it fascinated me. The MBTI/typology/cognitives functions is The thing which answered to the why of practically everything in my life. These knowledge have reconnected most of the pieces of the puzzle of my life. This is how I knew I was INTJ and not INFJ. I got depression not because I didn't see people (Fe 2 - INFJ), but because I didn't work, achieve, get done something (Te 2 - INTJ), and also because I didn't have goal (Ni) anymore at this moment. I agree, INTJ we value Time and Energy so much. _When I had no job, do TH-cam video allowed me to not get depressed. To do what I want/like, to share all what I want, to help people, and also to improve my English, my way of speaking, to learn lonely to edit video. I needed to put in the world, externalize all I had in my mind to be better. And meet amazing people like me, who really understand me (INTJ and ENTP) _We can stay lonely for days, weeks, month without problems, but we can't not work on something, we need to achieve things. _I am sorry you never felt heard by therapists. I am lucky the one I went is INTJ, and one other whom I did WAIS IV test is INFJ, they understood me so well, even better than myself. I told to him after the 10 free sessions, that I am the only one who can help me. _I think therapy can't really help INTJ and ISFP because we are already very introspective. I think stress and depression are caused by our self, our cognitives function, It happen when we neglect our first or second function or both. It's important to remember who we are (Mainly Ni Te for us). An INTJ is depressed ? The solution is learn the cognitives functions, follow INTJ channels to learn about himself, make him know that he is not lonely like this. We are the most prone to be interested and passionate about MBTI/typology. I think INTJ have so much to share/bring to the world. I consider INTJ like my family, I would like hug many of them if I could, because we lived more or less the same things, same struggle/issues with the world, people and life. Seems many INTJ we discovered MBTI at the moment we need it the most in our life.
Sounds very much like me. I was already diagnosed with clinical depression and my best therapy was leaving the cave and joining stuff some time, like a hermit finally out in the sun. Then pandemic hits and I had a massive heartbreak and a stillbirth... No money for meds and no work... I still in my "path" even tho sometimes I feel no progress, and this is what I just identified with as my biggest roadblock: Lack of ambitious projects. Right now I'm trying for a baby again (6 months) and it's a very risky pregnancy and I can't work. Just being on bed seeing my life and financial needs pass without me doing much is so Frustrating and Desperating... I'm gonna help the must I can with my current husband's new business idea as I'm better than him and he's partner in some management stuff. I feel like is very little for my ambition and capacity but is all I have for now. I had 4 therapist and had the same poor experience he mentions, anyway, lets stay alive one day at a time. Intj.
I have noticed that I also watch or read a lot of mbti when I'm stressed and/or depressed. It helps to make sense of things. I've read that INTJs are their own therapists. I think it's true.
We're our own therapists for better or worse but there are some other comments from people who said that they found a therapist that is truly helping so I say continue your search if you need it ✊
"I had a solution to my problems but I didn't know how I felt about the solutions!" My god - you cracked the thing I've been trying to phrase forever when I hit that point.
I had the same struggles with therapy. I discovered Cognitive Behavioral Therapy doesn't work on someone who is constantly analyzing their own behaviors. I needed someone to intuitively call out my loops.
I feel you. Food for thought. When I meet with medical professionals it's not that I know more than they do it's that I can sense a flaw in their logic.
Thanks for putting this out there, I too have felt this as a INTJ. I Get paralyzed inside my mind and agree the typical therapist would do more hurt that good for our type. Looking forward to more content.
I can confirm that the typical therapist gets really annoyed really fast with this INTJ girl here. The problem with typical therapy techniques is that they are based on the idea to teach you about reflecting and analysing your thoughts and feelings. But INTJs do that already. At least the thoughts part. Second problem is that the therapist wants you to recognise and identify an emotion when it comes up. But the INTJ mind doesn’t care all that much about the emotions. Emotions are there. When the mind sees a solution to a problem, it wants to go for it. What finally helped me to get my depression and anxiety under control, is using the self-reflecting INTJ thing and mindfulness techniques that get you out of your head and in touch with your body.
@@MHBTNO that's a brilliant observation that I actually never considered that therapy teaches a person to self reflect and that's all we've been doing our entire lives. Thank you for the comment and teaching me something new!
This is exactly how I've been feeling for the last few months. I feel so stuck, not getting anything done - meaning I still do my 9-5 very well, I still feed myself etc. but the things that matter to me are on hold while I try to figure out how I feel about something in my life. I try to reach out to the people around me, to ask for help, but they can't help. The things they are saying are all brilliant, but I have already thought of it and I am left feeling... unsure about what I am feeling and why and what possible decisions I could make and what possible outcomes they would lead to and how I would feel about those... it just doesn't want to stop! I have also been diving into MBTI in these months and it is very helpful to understand what's going on through the lens of my function stack. Fi can be tricky.
You're not alone and I'm glad to hear that you found MBTI in healthy way where it can help with your issue. It sucks knowing that the program used for majority of humanity isn't as helpful to you, I empathize with that. I hope you find your way out soon and that you know that you're never alone. I'm rooting for you fellow INTJ ✊
Damn this makes so much sense now. A year ago I was stuck in the loop for 3 days without realizing what was happening. Once I realized that I was more or less depressed I reached out to my INFJ friend and we met up a month later and talked for 3-4 hours while walking in a park. He really helped me set my priorities straight. Over a week I started feeling better and I feel like it helped so much.
I thought at first that this video would be a typical INTJ one but I didn't expect to let just caught me 4K HD- Personally, I was in the NI-FI loop for at least 5 years( and still enter it again nowadays but I'm more aware of it and manage somehow to get out). I even got mistyped as an INFP for all those years just because on how focused I was on my Fi. I finally got my real type (INTJ) legit not long ago by checking on those mbti cognitive function types in dept and also with an external help. Anyways, what I really mean is that, what you've said in the whole video, is just so accurate. Mostly the therapy part. I did have some therapy session in the past and tbh, it was really rare for me to feel "listened". My therapist told me that they were impressed on how aware I am with my inner problems and that I got solutions for them (also the fact that I as 18-19 back then), they thought that I could go off with it but in the end of the day, I just felt lost. So in the end of the day, I just end up checking stuffs for myself since I was just the only one that I can trust fully and understand... I just thought that I would end up being alone with these problems and just accept it. But now I'm quite relieved that I'm not the only one going "crazy" about it. So thank you so much for this video, it helped me a lot! Let's not let this Ni-Fi loop beat us, we are better than this!
I'm always happy to hear that this video is helpful to other INTJs out there. We might be different comparitively to other types but we're not alone. I agree, we got this INTJ Queen ✊
Thanks for sharing your thoughts and expressing it in such a manner! I am an INTJ myself and have been working very hard on myself over the last years to understand lots of things a bit more. One major topic is how I saw feelings. I know I have them but they often felt like "getting in the way of actually getting things done". Thinking about this Ni-Fi-loop and what has triggered it mostly for me was a lack of clear direction or goals. Sometimes caused by realizing that I don't "like" the direction my life is headed right now. Sometimes caused by relationship issues. Sometimes even some critic I have received. All have in common that it triggers more the feeling aspect of me and less thinking aspect. I am even so far that I most of the times do like these kind of loops as they usually result in having more clear direction and conviction about doing what I "feel" is the right thing to do. Using Te to then put it into reality has helped me become quite succesful overall in life. It can be sometimes very hard, especially if many things go wrong at the same time or some more "traumatic" kind of experiences come. For me the main causes were a loved one dying, a relationship ending, ... What I am trying to work now on, which I would have thought of as ridiculous a couple years back is being more in touch with my emotions and using them more regularly as a "compass" together with my thinking process to align to better results overall that I also "feel" are right (instead of only "thinking" that they are right). It has been a very interesting journey for now roughly a year of looking more inwards and really focussing on my emotions as well but it does feel like the "big next step" forward in regards to personal growth for me. Maybe it helps some other INTJs here too! Good luck with everything!
It really is interesting to hear from other INTJs that emotions have always been more of a "nuisance" than something that we use to lead our emotions until later in life. I'm in a way better state than I was when I made the video, and I hope the same for you ✊
I've slipped myself into a depression very recently. Something happened that made me relive everything about the recent past all over again, which I thought I had processed through and moved on from. Lately, I've been scared reaching out to any people I know because my paranoia tends to overwhelm my friends and family. My Ni-Fi loop is too intense. This intensity is what led me to have a really bad time last year for all the damages it caused, because to those who I trusted that they could help me failed to really do so, leaving behind a lot of disappointments and pain, which I'm now reliving all over again. Been cooped up and just rewatching these INTJ videos like yours just to get a tight grip and hang on. Thanks for keeping on posting, man.
Every time I watch one of your videos, I'm totally amazed about how much they are relatable. It's as if I was listening to my own thoughts. I'm a self-typed INTJ, but sometimes I question my MBTI personality, especially because of all the traumas and years of depression I went through that make me a bit unsure about my feelings. But then I watch your videos and I feel so understood and validated, it's crazy, I'm not used at all to this kind of feeling: recognizing myself in someone else. I don't know whether I can be 100% sure I'm a true INTJ, but now I don't want to stop till I find another INTJ in real life to see how it feels to engage with one and see whether we connect for real. I've already told you so in other videos, but again, thanks for sharing your thoughts with us.
I'm glad my video helped you realized that you're not alone. Whether you're an INTJ or not, the entire purpose of me posting that video was so that people like you and myself can feel heard when everyone else thinks we're crazy. You're not alone ✊
Good insights, the loop is certainly an internal cerebral experience of non action and irrational behavior. It’s when you feel that you are logical but you are just feeling miserable and it’s coloring your thoughts. NiFI loop is blindness. An INTJ that lacks vision cannot apply anything to reality. I particularly struggle with this feeling of helplessness when I face myself with existential crisis about my future, the future of the world and so forth,
An existential crisis happens every given Sunday 🙃. I agree that it feels like blindness with a lack of direction but I also know it's necessary and my body telling me that something is wrong and it's finally time to listen.
Your eyes are so deep and compassionate. And hearing the way you speak about your struggles with such clarity, intelligence, and humility, you singlehandedly defy all the INTJ stereotypes out there that INTJs are cold and lack human emotion. You are more human in how you experience your disconnection from humans than most humans are in being ‘human.’ What pours from your heart is so true and authentic. It’s very healing to me as an INFP. I love an INTJ but was treated in such a shockingly cold manner by him after he declared his feelings for me and I reciprocated, that after a long period of healing from the deep hurt and betrayal and confusion, I am now on YT trying to understand the INTJ’s mind and heart. Hearing about your ‘shutdown’ helped a lot. As an INFP, I have felt very similarly. It’s a bit different. It’s almost the opposite, but becomes almost identical in the final stance. I feel so much and so deeply about so many things, but I am also leaning dismissive avoidant due to trauma and being a creator by nature (poetry, art), so I am actually chill on the outside and consciously detached and often unaware of my feelings. They are huge under the surface and only get fully activated in certain moments, certainly while creating. I have also felt the aching loneliness of seeing through the matrix and people’s false assumptions, motivations, or unhealed wounds that wreak havoc, which led to my feeling unseen and unheard 99.9% of the time. So I went through a similar period that you did. I got my MFA in poetry, which helped, as I found some of my human tribe, especially a fellow old soul in my mentor. But where I truly found true soul solace was in reading the journals of van Gogh, Sylvia Plath, and Thoreau. You can feel heard just by hearing echoes of yourself in another. Now I also find solace in MBTI tribes online and rediscovering my INFP-ness recently has helped me tremendously to accept myself. I do believe a lot of the IN types are the oldest souls. I know you mentioned you only believe in one lifetime, but I no longer believe that to be true based on recent metaphysical revelations I’ve experienced. Older souls will have to look a little harder to find each other, and discover what ‘home’ means to us on earth, in this life. Thank you for a beautiful, moving, brave, and deeply inspiring post. Much love to you… you are not alone! ❤
Thank you for your kind words and I'm sorry to hear that the relationship with the INTJ didn't work out. We're really not for everyone. I will say that of all the 16p in MBTI, INFPs tend to be the people I usually get close to the easiest because of how authentic your type is. I'm glad you found your tribe whether it's through poetry or MBTI, no one should walk the path of life alone ✊
I have NEVER been able to describe how I feel or been able to talk to anyone how I feel when I get in my loop. I've never understood it. But when you said that "you know what you need to do but you constantly ask yourself how do you feel about and you don't know so you just get caught in a cycle" was so real. At the end when he said "focus on what you want to do. You know what you don't want to do so just focus on doing what you want to do". This video has changed my perspective in my life and I think is a huge stepping sone for me getting out of my loop. Thank you so much.
Bro, you're the first person I've discovered who has been able to describe exactly what I am/have been going through. Having completed group therapy, CBT, and talking therapy, and on taking medication over the years, I found that all | gained was frameworks and coping mechanisms on how to re-frame things consciously but not sub-consciously or emotionally. I also feel like I know exactly what all of my problems are and how to fix them, better so than the professionals, and was told I didn't need to be in therapy because I was able to hold down a high level job, kept my life more or less 'together', not in debt, not causing visible harm, had a relationship and knew what I needed to do etc. But I never understood how to manage the feelings that came with that. I was barely managing to keep myself 'together enough' and it took up 100% of my energy, every day, all the time just to exist. I had no energy left for myself at the end of the day and that left me vulnerable to the slightest breeze throwing me off track and down a hole for weeks. Thanks for putting this out there. I feel heard now! Subbed and notifications on.
Great insight. I’ve never had therapy because I know it won’t work because no one knows me more than me. I spent a lot of time “finding myself” and loving myself to get to the bottom of who I am and I feel so much happier and healthier than ever. Shrinks don’t have the types of answers that I want. I’ve figured them out myself.
I don’t wanna brag about being an INTJ right now, I think we are not able change it but we can really realize that we have to make time to take care of ourselves. Dude, thanks for the video. I feel you, and thanks for TH-cam to recommend this video.
Oh my goodness. Thank you SO much for putting this out there. What you've described makes so much sense. It's awesome to FINALLY find someone else who appears to truly understand the loop. Again, thank you so much for this video!
This resonated with so heavy. I know a lot of people but have the hardest time connecting. I literally become a hermit crab & shut out the entire world whenever I’m processing my emotions or I’m making head/heart conflicted decisions.
I hope you're not in your loop at the moment fellow INTJ and just like myself, I hope you find solace knowing that you're not alone in the way that you process your emotions ✊
@@justcallmejon22 Bruv. You have no idea the kind of loop… I tried to do the normal thing & talk about it in therapy just to come to realization that I’m overthinking & killing my own vibe for no reason, I just need to take action despite not feeling ready.😒 Sending all the love & positive energy to you my fellow INTJ, let’s exit this loop together.☀️
I’m a training therapist and I agree with you sadly! I go through therapy and it’s frustrating knowing they’re missing crucial steps or not responding appropriately. They’re supposed to empower your unique problem solving abilities with curiosity and radical acceptance and an equal power balance. I don’t see this often. I’m an INFP and I need them to go deep with me in exploration stage. A lot treated me like a counsellor while I was the client and the one I have who knows I’m in training doesn’t give me the service because they skip listening and intellectualise because I already know what I’m saying and what it means psycho education-wise. But I can’t do the active listening and guidance to myself as effectively when I actually need someone else to help me with that role so I can just be the client
It feels like therapists are taught to find a problem instead of taught how to listen and listening will help find the problem easier. I hope you empower the lives of your clients and one of the rare professionals that chose to listen first 🙂
Thanks for making this video, sharing what is going on inside your mind about Ni Fi loop. I have read quite a bit about the loop, but didn't really know how to identify it. I often have this messy, noisy mind at the back, without me actually thinking anything in particular. Like you said in the video, you could be playing video games but subconsciously something else is going on at the back. It is very annoying, it disrupts my sleep, it would either take me a long time to fall asleep, or my brain could be so active when I am sleeping, it keeps finding and coming up different solutions for random things while I am sleeping, and eventually wakes me up. Many videos or articles for INTJ suggest meditation. I used to go to yoga classes, because that particular yoga instructor's approach suited me and could calm me down. Unfortunately Covid has changed a lot of things in life. I realised yoga couldn't really calm my mind most of the time, I could be doing yoga, but my mind could still be noisy and annoying at the back. I have started adult ballet few months ago, I find it really helpful. It requires a lot of mind focusing to - balance, strength, counting, thinking about music, movement, posture etc. It can really get my mind to solely focus on all of those mentioned at the same time. I also love head message, that really calms my mind down quickly and fall asleep. I found out about Nichola, she is a psychotherapist, also an INTJ. She has made a few videos about INTJ. I love her videos, they speak my mind and approach so well, spot on, sometimes they make me smile too. Here is one for lost INTJ - th-cam.com/video/qRXCkD6DElY/w-d-xo.html Unhealthy INTJ and how to help th-cam.com/video/ywNlbhMhY4c/w-d-xo.html I hope you enjoy Nichola's videos.
As someone who is deep inside the loop atm I could relate to 100% of what you were saying. Thank you. I lost my ability to physically do things and at times even think clearly because of long covid and it''s extremely hard for an INTJ who is future orientated, ambitious and aspiring to have and achieve goals to just be laying down on the couch. For me my self-worth lies in my achievements and not passively just being and breathing. That has been really difficult for any therapist to understand and I have been misunderstood and reprimanded several times. I guess I would need a therapist who is an INTJ themselves, but it's impossible to find one. The worst is to not be able to imagine/analyze the possible outcomes for the future (there are too many because of the uncertainty of recovery) and in this scenario trying to find out what on earth am I feeling. Haven't been this numb before. My solution for not overthinking 24/7 (and loosing my sanity) and the place for escapism has been Netflix and TH-cam because I am not capable for much else. I would give a lot for figuring out some new goals for the future - what I truly want to do and where I could be happy or at least contented.
I understand exactly what you're feeling and I also went through difficult therapy sessions similar to your experience. It really is difficult having Dom Ni because people really can't relate. I just want you to know that you're not alone and I know you'll get through it. You're an INTJ, you'll never stop being surprised on how powerful you truly are ✊
Your videos are the best about INTJ's on TH-cam. I relate a lot to all of your experiences and It's so good to know that We INTJ's should not follow an especific path if a decision was made. That was a therapy for me, actually. Keep It up!
I wish I had seen this video sooner. I too am an INTJ but somehow only recently learned about the MBTI a few days ago. Two months ago I had just got out of a loop that lasted One and a half years. I thought I was broken or something but I am out of it now and share a lot of the solutions to it as you do. It was the same thoughts tho... lots of solutions and things I could do. But no understanding on how I felt on each and everything and was stuck doing nothing. Thank you so much for making this video and a bunch of others I plan to watch on your channel! I have started to write a book on my experience a few months back (not trying to advertise) and it is far from done but this inspires me to write more. Thank you so much!
Hey, Jon :) I'm new to your channel. I've been thinking the best therapists are seasoned NTs and NFs. I've had (my opinion, not tested) an ENFJ and an ENTP therapists. Both great, detecting different things, giving always relevant feedback and cues. The ENTP is also an Astrologer. Like you, I've found missing pieces and solutions in MBTI and Astrology that standard psychology didn't have for me. Talking to fellow Ni doms has been such a relief ❤️ I love your content ❤️ INTJs have this uncanny knack of finding the best words to express things that my Ti often fails me with. Best wishes! ~INFJ
@l-ixir Yes, we know how to make people like us. I've even had INTJs getting jealous of that o.O The thing is INTJs usually have a large storage of factual data which helps a great deal with presenting better arguments. When Te and Fe join forces, backed by common Ni, the power combination is epic and the limits to what they can do togethe are next to non-existent. If the functions are well developed, ofc. It's why I really love having emotionally mature INTJs in my life. My soul is filled up with so much delight ❤🎉
Loved this video. I have adopted a couple mantras to "smooth out" the Ni Fi loop. I have gained an understanding that certain aspects of life are mysterious, perhaps a bit messy, or difficult to articulate or understand. It removes my brain's machinery to keep looping on trying to analyze, understand, decide. Let things be, however they are. I did not find tons of help from therapy, and can relate to you Jon. I ended that, but started piano lessons and it has been life-changing. Now I have a language to express emotions that are difficult to put into words. I also can use music to connect with others, like playing songs that my family likes singing to! And finally, there are so many mysteries in music, the theory, the math, the human spirituality of it. It provides tremendous meaning every day. There are not so many accomplishments and accolades in this part of my life, but just pure enjoyment, learning, and low-pressure progress towards mastery. Curious if anyone else has experienced this.
INTJ here 💁🏻♀️ I've always said that I have high functioning depression... I do all the things and I still succeed in every aspect of my life because I really dont allow myself to fail. But sometimes I feel like I don't try at all and it makes no sense how I've accomplished certain things. I just do the thing. I have to. Nobody else is gonna do the thing for me. I look at all the options and I make the best decision for me. I want you to know, you're not alone in the fact that therapy doesn't work for you. I've also had have 7 or 8...I lost track of how many I've seen. I've even went years not going and then trying again. I recently just tried again last year, with the virtual sessions, and still no luck. I joke and say I need to level up and see the therapist's Therapist. The Master Therapist lol. I have the same feeling about it though. And I don't want to sound stuck up or conceited, but I feel like I'm always three steps ahead of them and I just need them to catch up and listen to me. I need a personalized approach lined up with what I need and not some standard across-the-board practice. Like, I know what I'm doing but I have no idea how I feel about it... Sometimes when you're too logical, or like a gifted child as I was, it's like you know too much about too much. You understand and see everything and it's just overwhelming and depressing sometimes. Ignorance truly is bliss.
The issue that you have is that you being an INTJ are a very intelligent individual and very the top 1%, so subsequently you have to find a therapy that is also highly intelligent and very open, and thus level the playing field. I know us INTP’s have very similar issues, as most cannot deal with our extremely logical and complex minds.
As an INTJ, I really feel everything you’ve said. I’m currently in my loop and part of the thing that makes me feel terrible is that as an INTJ, I’m good at weeding out BS excuses in other people and -when I’m at my best- I have a very “it needs to get done so I must get it done” type of attitude. To be caught in this loop and not do the things I need to do, while also understanding how easy it is to do them and how I ultimately have no excuse, has been the hardest hurdle to overcome. Plus, the anti social, not responding to anyone thing….yeah, feel that big time lol
I emphatize with being in the loop, it sucks but sometimes I feel like it's necessary. Feel ALL your feelings. Don't analyze them, actually feel them. I don't know if you read my other comments but Te will get you out. When you're ready, I suggest being around Te users. They usually get Mama Te to come back home and then you'll be the productive INTJ again. I'm rooting for you brother, you got this ✊
I explained to someone else that when we think a method is effective enough to achieve something, we do that. When we can't see that method no matter how much we think or feel about the problem it's natural to feel depressed especially if it's about ourselves. Learning MBTI I learned that the solution is in the Fe, Se and Si functions.
I tried to get all the way through your video before commenting and i can't, made it 2 and a half minutes in. What you are describing is the other side of the coin. I'm an INFJ-A and my mind is healthy as it has ever been all things considered but the NiTi loop is still a thing. If prevents me from doing all kind of stuff and it's frustrating and paralyzing bc there is so much i want to say and do. You are making a difference. That's awesome!!! I just love you buddy. Thank you for your vulnerability and transparency. ❤❤❤
I almost feel that I've never been more heard! I also always focus on one thing that I feel is the most important thing to do - and I do accomplish what I plan to accomplish! What you're saying is that although people think that INTJs aren't 'feelers', we do have feelings. Even big ones! And we even base our decisions on our feelings. What we feel is the most important thing to do. Feelings give us the motivation to succeed!
Jon, you are not an alone INTJ. The way I coped was to realize everything will happen anyway and I must enjoy the pockets of meaning in my life even if I don't readily recognize them. To help you break from the Ni - Fi loop is you MUST develop your Se. Developing your Se is a direct derivative of connecting yourself to the outside world. Like "Wow this is a messy room." I learn to develop it more after I discovered the philosophy of Daoism. I use balance as a necessity to care for myself. When doing this your Se can reinforce your Fi to envision a more valuable [you].
This is so interesting and helpful in understanding the mind of an INTJ. As someone who is recovering from depression, I hope you are doing better and not suffering from the loop right now. I also really related to this video even though I'm not an INTJ so hope it's okay I share my two cents. 2:25 I feel like that all the time too. It's so comfortable living in my head and being a removed observer of the world but too much of it can become isolating and lead to a depressive state. I've started to learn to recognize the signs - if I lay in bed til 2am ruminating about the meaning of life, I have to start making changes and go on a hike the next day or something to connect back with reality. There are many times when I subconsciously feel like I'm using Ni to reach some Eureka moment and that contemplating this is important, but it comes at the expense of my physical/mental health so I've had to learn to just redirect that thought before it gets too deep. I did have someone tell me "think less, do more". I also realized there is an optimal level of "busy" for me - too much to do and I get stressed (that pesky Se), too little and I start ruminating again. It's a struggle to find equilibrium in every aspect of life. 2:47 ah yes, high functioning depression. 8:36 Bingo. This disclaimer and whole section is exactly how I feel about therapy. Helpful for the majority, but not built for the minority. I have personally shopped around to upwards of 15 therapists in the past 5 years, in numerous states and settings and maybe 2 have come close to understanding me. It's infinitely frustrating to have to explain my thought process, emotions and the way I view the world to someone who just stares back and asks "have you tried holding an ice cube?" Makes me wanna flip a table. (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻ Turns out the only person who "gets" me is my mentor who isn't even a therapist but is an INTJ. Being an Ni dom is a lonely experience. 9:36 This. It feels like I'm talking to a wall most of the times. It's like they're listening but not understanding. I also feel like I know myself better than anyone else, and I keep (respectfully) trying to point out what I am struggling with but they don't seem to have any answers beyond "exercise, good sleep, etc". Personally I have dabbled in meditation and studied some Buddhist philosophy which has helped answer some existential questions I had, but I get that sort of thing is not for everyone. 11:53 I felt that. I keep having this thought that "we are all alone in this world" but ironically the very thought of thinking that proves we are all connected in our experience, we just don't know because we tend to keep it hidden within. Your videos are very fascinating and insightful - I hope you keep putting out new content.
I'm doing much better now, thank you for being worried. I hope the same for you as well since you've searched more than I have for a therapist that understands, that you find one that is actually helpful. I agree that the best remedy is to just 'do' things but it's difficult doing when Ni is constantly nagging in the background 😅
I’m quite a bit older than you and unfortunately still loop and loop with decisions and feelings. It’s just who we are. Just pick a direction, in my case usually a baby step, and know you can change if it’s not the right one. Btw, be careful about just quitting your job if that’s your main source of income, without having something else lined up, or you’ll have a whole bunch more problems and decisions to deal with. Thanks for sharing, it helps the rest of us INTJ’s to get to know ourselves better 🙏
First of all, i am so sorry to hear that! Suppose you don't struggle with this anymore, but if you do... As a entp, looking at this, my biggest recommendation is to journal. It is the think that all fi types benefit from. Every day before going to bed, write down what you feel about everything that happened that day. Just feels. After 3 months to a year, read your journal back. See what you did that made you happy, and see what you did to make you sad. What thing made you the most happy? Can you replicate that? How can you regularly work towards happiness? Note, one underused skill is that fi keeps people safe. It doesn't just keep you safe, it keeps people safe. High Fi users are making values so they ultimately can help others. When you help yourself and others, you feel the best. So keep doing this, and maybe get out there somewhere to help others. Don't fret, you will make mistakes at first, but you will see tremendous value in doing something that matters (in a value sense).
Thank you for the concern and the advice ENTP! I'm no longer in the loop but will consider jounaling when I am. It's nice to see an ENTP that's openly willing to engage with Fe online ❤
Even though I'm an isfp I can 100% relate to everything you said, the fi ni loops often means for us to overanalyze situations in order of how we feel and delays us from making decisions. I also agree with the therapist thing, being super introspective has helped me realize that only I can fully understand myself, like it or not, however living in our heads so much and ignore our second cognitive function will always keep us away from "ourselves" by being in that stupid loop. Thanks for the video and I hope you're doing better now!
I'm doing a lot better now, thank you for the concern! I actually never considered the reverse (fi-ni loop) and it's somewhat refreshing knowing that there's another type that can understand. Looking back, it has always been my ISFP friends that have helped me the most when I was in a loop. Ya'll are great people ❤
Thanks, John! This describes what I'm going through. I'm currently in the loop. Well, I haven't realized it until I watched this. This isn't the first time I've been in the loop. But I feel so stuck. Thanks! This has been real help 💙
When you said this 10:10-onwards, I have never felt so understood until those words came out of your mouth. The worst part is that you know where one fails and cant take back what has happened even if you did your best in those brief moments to prevent or protect yourself from it... I really don't know how to feel about losing a loved one because it sucks... all your plans and moments, thrown out to the window, and along with it things that one used to enjoy. That when I come back to the things I thought brought me joy, brought me pain because I dont know if to feel happy about doing that after x or y thing happened. That Ni and Fi loop drags one down and the moment if feels a second wind and Te starts to wind up and align with Fi and Ni... there's only keep yourself going until it culminates at some point. I find that spending time with a friend that has Ne helps me open up because they in all their words they bring novel things and keeps my head and feelings busy to what they want to and feel motivated to go along and optimize their goals... because I want them to be happy too as well as myself. But being in that loop it feels like even breathing is a chore, because nothing new gave me purpose. I wanted to know that the thing I engage and devout myself will be this wild ride at sea but... i find it boring shallow waters and overwhelming violent storms. My experience in therapy has been, you can do it... I know I can... but like you said... I don't know how to feel about it. Specially after losing someone that I wish they stayed in my life, I sometimes go on automode and really don't mind missibg out. Its like what we need is to be pulled out from our home out of some kind of disaster or problem to give so I can work my brain to give solutions. Its fun to think of possible solutions... but you kno. The common is that people like to be herd, not to find solutions to their problem. I remember one time fighting an INFP friend who wouldn't stop because what she really wanted is me telling her I don't want to be her friend so she feels guilt free and the victim. When really all I was telling her is that my reaction was not related to her as a person, simply I didn't want to hang with people who have hurted me in the past. It hurted me, because that was the very reason I wanted to avoid. But I understood that I had to cut my losses before things went south any further. So I gave her the bone. At the same time a friend/love interest committed suicide because I wasn't able to respond appropriately because of how overwhelmed I felt about the situation. I told him I'll see him tomorrow, to get some rest. When he asked to see me that day. I feel like... trying to be fair when things are unfair causes more detriment to my relationships and overall well-being because what's the point of helping people when you only have so much to expend. So far im just dragging myself day in and out till something comes along to swoop me off from the experiences I've had so far.
Thank you for opening up and being so honest. My condolences for your lost loved ones and I hope you find closure if you haven't yet. I know all too well how you're feeling even with having to disconnect with a friend you once held dearly. You're not alone my INTJ sista, you're never alone ✊
Thank you for making all of these videos. As you said, it makes me feel heard even though you aren't listening. It's kind of odd really. I find that getting help (even though I hate admitting that to myself) from an ENTP or any Ne dom really helps me when I am in an Ni - Fi loop. It feels as if they pull you out of a hole. Questioning why you think it is hard and really breaking it down for you even though they might not even realize what they are doing. It just comes naturally to them.
Happy to hear that you found your outlet through Ne doms! I tend to turn to Te doms when I'm in my loop so give that a try if the ENTP route isn't working. I agree that it is a bit awkward at first feeling like you're heard from a person you never met but that's the beauty of being human, connection can happen almost anywhere. I hope you're not in your loop at the moment and if you are, this too will pass. You got this INTJ ✊
@@justcallmejon22 It is funny/odd to see your own writing style and way of processing information being done by someone else! Thank you for the encouragement! I am so grateful to have a mother who is also an INTJ and we relate so much in our way of thinking. I can't imagine not having that, but that is where the internet has its place for us INTJs. Even though one of the best things I know, is listening and trying to understand other people's minds and views on the world, it gets lonely sometimes never finding yourself in others. And others never being able to relate your Ni - Fi loop struggles. I am fortunately not in a loop right now, but it feels like I have this existential crisis at least one a week if not once a day, haha... Not very funny. I am starting UNI soon and I am scared of losing myself. "Losing my mind" and forgetting the real reason why I am there. I am scared of forgetting that the true reason I am there is to learn and enrich my mind, not to obsess over grades, making perfect notes, or striving after the title of "a higher education" rather than the actual knowledge. If I go to UNI for the right reasons I won't think that I have wasted my time if I drop out a year from now. Then I will have a year of that study under my belt and all of the knowledge that comes with it. I find thatit gets way to easy to focus on the titles and labes of others rather that the knowledge that they hold and can teach you regardless of title. One of the worst things that I really NEVER want to happen is that . I cry almost thinking about it, haha. I never want to become entangled in the titles of people or my own status in relation to them that I see their understanding and knowledge as lesser. Even If I get a fancy degree I never want to look past the generations worth of knowledge in the common man. I never want to become so pretentious that I think my thoughts are better or more worthy than others because of some fancy posh manmade title. I want to be viewed only based on my mind, my merit, my work, and my thoughts. I am so sorry, I didn't mean to make such a long rant! I lost myself in my thoughts a bit there. xD Have a great day and keep up the good work! It means a lot. I am thinking of starting a TH-cam channel myself but IDK. Maybe I will maybe I won't. I just want to share my thoughts on topics and break down the labels of "good" and "bad" and perhaps help people look at them through a clear lens Playing a kind of devils advocate I guess.
Oh. Im going through an ugly divorce from someone that kept me mentally disabled, cognitively impaired, for their own comfort for 14 years. I'm suddenly facing a massive amount of options and a future of so many possibilities. I have all the answers, know the best routes and even have a solid understanding of where i can shift to explore other life paths. I've been barely functioning. I think you just gave me the key.
All those thoughts in the beginning of the video are still true for me. However, as long as I'm doing something, I'm able to get out the loop. Exercise has been the biggest help for me in that regard. I try not to let insecurity and failures drag me down to nihilism and pessimism, but it still happens. I don't know if I'll ever be able to relate to others in a meaningful way, but I'm definitely getting better at dealing with life the older I get.
One of the truths that I had to realize is that each person has their own definition of "relating" to someone and it's unfair to push our own version onto someone else. It definitely comes with time and I'm glad that you found that exercising helps you ✊
I got depression when I was 26, always struggling about social relationship. I had a tough time to connect with people, feeling so disconnected and not being understood. Meanwhile I found myself difficult to articulate my thoughts and feeling. however, I was so lucky that I met a counsellor who bought me MBTI test. After finding out I am an INTJ, I felt so relief .. and everything suddenly made so much sense. And I feel so bad that there is a lot of INTJ have been suffering depression and/or in their hard life but hardly to find people to accept and understand them. Now I am social worker, rendering counselling to people. My personal vision is to help and support introverts and INTJs, accepting their nature and the difficulties they are facing within their loop, telling them is okey to be like that, there is nothing wrong with being an introvert, and telling them to be proud of being as an INTJ.
i just start tearing up because i can relate so so much when you said "why am i so weird" If i could win a dollar every time someone called or refer to me as being weird i would be a billionaire already 😂 but joke aside being called weird so many time start to make me questioning myself all the time what did i do wrong, why am i like this. I can't really find the answer to this and i don't think i could ever. But it mean so much to know that it's not just me that feel this way about myself. I just wanna shout out and give fellow INTJs who have the same struggle a big big hug, we all deserve that.
Oi! This guys got it. You know mostly when people talk about depression, they say how they weren't able to stand up from the bed, how they were neglecting their day to day care etc. and nobody mentions going on the autopilot. I think nobody even noticed. While someone sometimes think I'm sad or upset when I'm really not. You're the first. I believe in the therapy, just not for me. I either overcome it with my own strenght or I don't deserve to win. No one is going to solve my problems because I'd feel like a failure. And if I feel like a failure, I'm depressed so it makes no sense to continue the spiral. I may have use for others along the way and be grateful for their participation, because that's what it's going to be, but I will not ask them specifically to do so. Also I'm I the only one who didn't give a fug about the pandemic?
I'm only about halfway through, but I'm feeling so sad for you that you have not yet found a therapist with whom you feel connected. I was so blessed to have a therapist in my mid-to-late teens who taught me how to slow my mind down and actually process some emotions. It's really giving me a leg up in life. And the more I learned about INTJ and our confusion with our own emotions, the more I realize how blessed I am to have been given that training so early in life. Now I've also had a couple therapist here and there that just really couldn't understand the complexity of me. I think they are probably great therapist for the masses, but not this quirky bird! But for me the best therapist were ones that believed I had my own answers inside of me and they were good at asking me questions to lead me to find those answers
I'm always happy to hear from other INTJs when ya'll find a therapist that helps. It really is like dating where you have to go on a few to find the right one. I'm in a better place now but I appreciate the empathy 🙏
Oh, that what it is... Thank you for sharing even if it was year ago and may be not that aftual, but it's actual for me and I tried to search so hard to find an answer like... why i feel so off or different, well even among INTJs, sometimes too sensitive or emotional when I even don't understand why and onky way i can exolain it is that I sleep not enough which obviously also can be a reason, or I lack of a vitamin D and some others which is quite needed in my country to take care of and that also explains much more why even though no matter how much of times I check difference between the cognitive functions and i still feel that Ni-Te-Fi-Se fit me the most from all of this, but i feel more like sometikes too emotional or too upset, triggered and so on. Thank you for the video... even though I think for me it's better to not think I have a depression until it's approved by specialists who knows in this subject much more than I do and who could help me more than I do, because I don't know how to solve this problem for years already. But I keep going and at least found some... "goal"?.. or purpose to live for living, not just for existing simply because I'm here. Uh, I don't know why I'm talking about it here, I know people don't really like to read others problems, it's bust that I don't know anymore where to even write ny thoughts, they may be sometimes too overwhelming, my apologies. Perhaps I shouldn't write everytjme my thoughts in comment sections just because they're open, lol, I need to learn how to control this.
Thank you Jon. For your videos, for sharing your thoughts and deep insights. I related to your thoughts here instantly, as well as other videos. But this one resonated drastically…I often have these depression episodes and loops where I shut the entire social world off, and work myself back up. Often it leads to controlling my diet, exercise, and the activities I spend time with. Covid destroyed that loop, it just happened constantly, to the point even now adjusting back out of covid, it stuck, I’d act and look far more sad and depressed, although I thought I was being “chirpy”, people in my immediate and outer circles had a different perspective. It led to very negative thoughts and thus actions/reactions, as a full system shock. After losing what was dear to my core, I decided to focus only on “being a good person” instead of the thousands of thoughts and worries. I too felt therapy wasn’t for me, but also now more remote options, I spent countless hours (and still) to watch/listen to therapy advices, motivational and powerful/successful people speak, deep dive into personalities, stoicism, neuroscience findings, meditation, positive thinking, anything I could think of that could maybe help me be less critical to my own self. Sounds like a straight forward gesture, but it was found after detoxing thoughts, labeling everything “good” or “bad” in my mind before placing it back into my daily life. Realizing as a kid, that’s the number 1 goal I ever really wanted. Now that I have the experience I collected, I hope to continue to work towards that umbrella goal, that I believe will lead to every decision with the intention I want. These would help with that negative zone. INTJs have a tough time reaching out, I found writing journals addressed to yourself, voice memos, video journaling, to have helped articulate thoughts. I found smoothing also to once in while, confide with very close trusted friends, not only will they appreciate it knowing how reserved you are, you may also find deeper appreciation in the relationships you do have currently. Life is a forever interesting question we will always reflect on, never let it stop you from being you 🫶
I'm happy to hear that you found your outlet through journaling and the rest of the systems. I didn't realize it at the time but my youtube channel is my journal that I'm sharing with the world. It really does help me to be able to express my ideas and to have my feelings validated. I hope you're in a better spot now my fellow INTJ, we'll get through this together ✊
I'm so so glad I'm not alone on this. I really struggle with trying to understand how I feel about certain situations and it gets very exhausting. I have recently been in the deepest, darkest hole, and this suffering has led me to at least just try to accept who I am. I hope you're doing okay, and if not I hope you appreciate the small things in life. A little goes a long way.
I'm a lot better now, thank you for asking 🙂. I'm also happy to hear that this video made you feel less alone, just like what you said to me, I hope you're doing okay and appreciating the small things. You got this INTJ ✊
From 2.24 to 3.06... I'm kinda there right now. Haven't been able to get out of this space comfortably for more than 3 years now. Every time I think I'm out, I fall right back in. Like when does it end? Why am I repeating the damn cycles??? Too many loops since 2019 and honestly, I'm over it. I'm not suicidal, neither am I proper unhappy... I'm just sad... and dissatisfied with something, a lot of things. Feels like a losing battle. And I hate that I hate it, cos it means I still don't have any control over it. Thank you again for sharing this deeply intimate part of your discovery journey. I feel like this is my most value-adding of your videos so far, and no one has done INTJs for me like you! It feels like I am getting the 'permission' to feel all of the crazy things I feel when trying to process my emotions, or the feeling of the lack of it. Thank you.
Never ignore your feelings my INTJ sister! It took me decades to finally accept that I'm human and that feelings matter just as much as results. Take your time, feel all your feelings, actually feel them, then reach out to someone you trust when you're ready ✊
I totally can relate to this except for the faith part… Love your content❤️ I recently learned about Myers Briggs in college and it helped me learn more about myself…
We are so similiar. When I'm watching your videos I feel like somebody is speaking through my soul... You helped me so much to understand myself. I went through therapy too and it didn't help. I ended up more frustrated than I was before. I figured out that if I use my Te all the time I don't get depressed that much. I feel useful, accomplish things, make progress, boost my ego. But at the same time sometimes when I fail something I feel like I'm a quitessence, a definition of a failure.
It really does go against our nature when we're not being productive and that's what happens when we're in a loop. I've heard from other INTJs that therapy is great when you find one that understands you, so I hope you find one soon if you're still searching ✊
I really like your videos as it is nice to see another intj talking about sensitive/emotional things compared to all the other stereotypes. I also find it interesting how we have the same value of time based on different perspectives. I value time because i believe in the afterlife and i believe what i do now impacts it while you believe the opposite.
Misery loves company! I used to believe in an afterlife and what I miss the most about it is the comfort it brings. Whatever waits for us after this life, I'm just happy that you're engaging the world in this life ✊
One thing that has helped me in my depressed states is journaling daily. I just journal my thoughts and both consciously and subconsciously plan toward logical and viable solutions. It’s interesting what you said about therapy bc I feel the same thing. The amazing thing is that with our minds always pressing towards solutions, I do believe that journaling over time helps us to clarify our thoughts, values, and beliefs. It then helps us come up with reasonable theoretical methods that can guide us out of ruts. This has been my personal experience anyways
What exactly do you journal? Just your thoughts or do you also try to arrive to a conclusion during each journaling session? People have recommented journaling to me but I'm not really sure if that means to leave my thoughts open ended to revisited or if it means more to put my thoughts out in the real world to provide more clarity.
@@justcallmejon22 Typically I would just start out writing my thoughts without a clear solution. The logic I use is that I need to gain a sufficient level of understanding of what I’m feeling (or not feeling) so I can more effectively apply a viable remedy. In this journaling, I often answer questions like this: what am I doing? Why am I doing this? Am I content with where I’ve been and where I’m going? How do I feel about life rn and why? How do I feel about work, the people around me, myself as a person? Are there any relatable past experiences I’ve had that are similar to now? Essentially I try to express whatever comes to mind, then I pinpoint consistencies and focus on those to see if there’s a methodical way to deal with it in a way that’s in line with my vision and values. Sometimes, I pinpoint a focus point and just need to sit with it and express it a bit more before rushing towards a solution (depending on what it is). If I specifically know what may be going on, I just try to pull out all my feelings and beliefs about that thing and then analyze to see if there’s reasonable approaches that may help. I’ve learned not to expect quick solutions (which wasn’t super easy). It can sometimes carry on longer than I think it should, but I normally gain some sort of clarity. Plus I become more self aware in the process, which is definitely good in the longterm as a human being. Depression and depression-like states are weird and I’m certainly not a master on the subject, but that’s typically my approach.
This is crazy to stumble upon, didn't realise so many other people have this exact same way of thinking / analysing, and also how i'm not alone in finding stuff like CBT completely ineffective. I even have exactly the same views with regard to time haha.
Man this is so true for me, therapists have even insulted me and invalidated my suffering so many times... Diagnosed with severe depression the last years and I helped myself much more, this loop get me so anytime I remember I have to stay in bed for my whole pregnancy and future cesarea (as I had a minor surgery aswell this months) Just to think how the time is passing and I can't work and I could be doing so much for my finances and ambitions while this year happens is crazy (specially while having financial downs). (I was just to have a cerclage to keep my pregnancy but it got risky after thats why the bedridden thing) People around me is lightyears to understand us INTJ's and we seem "negative" and closed off in the loop, but everything about the other's I understand so well. Also I feel the problem is not to have a problem, but to have to wait for long before solving it! As I'm used to get things done efficiently so fast, logically and cost effective. But anyways, lets keep the patience and toughness we in the path to make much more than others dare to. Sincerely, INTJ.
Thank you for your response! I never even considered how pregnancy affects an INTJ, especially one that has complications. You're not alone INTJ Queen, it really is an ackward situation to be in when people tell you to seek therapy only to be told by a therapist that there's nothing wrong with you. The INTJ community is here for you, just remember that you're not alone ✊
I'm trying to write this as I'm listening, because I have so many thoughts. 1) You're not alone. Thank you for the video, it gives me hope. But also, you're not alone. 2) For my depression episode (1.5 years) the way I would say it is I felt like I had no plans or wishes, but I was living life along the lines of who I was before the depression and what she wanted. Like working off of someone else's homework. Afterwards I would look back and say 'I wonder why I never finished that book in two years... oh, that's right, I forgot I had wanted to.' I finished it a month ago. I agree about pivots. I didn't feel I wanted to do things, but putting myself in a different environment at work, for better or worse, made me really angry (they were really disorganised and it wasted time and time is important to me too). And that pushed me and created new motivations for me. It got better from there. 3) 100% with you on therapy. I had 4 months where I tried various therapists (AXA and BetterHelp) to fix the depression. Went full throttle. Some were bad, some were just not good at ID'ing the issue. As you say, I completely agree that I feel I'm more familiar with myself and I've been through the steps than they have. 4) Also on the job, I quit my job seven weeks ago and woke up halfway through the notice period at 3:30 AM in the middle of a panic attack wanting to crawl out of my own skin. Completely future-based, and fueled by my uncertainties. It was the first time it happened, it paralised me, and the fact that I couldn't power through/smother it with logic scares me. My sister managed to talk me down. It's 3 and a half days later and the one thing that moved the dial has been that I received interviews - proof as it were, of hope. Talking with an understanding friend helps. Looking at retiree advice also helps. When the anxiety chills it swings into depression. 3.a) I would caveat this by saying it could be a cultural thing. When my mother looked for a therapist, it fit me a lot better - time will tell. I don't want to minimise this. I completely agree that modern therapy doesn't work. This one, mine, she's atypical... nosy. Pushy. It might not work long term. But she's good at making me feel seen. 5) About feeling seen and looking at other INTJs. I'm coming at this with the luxury of already having your channel and a handful of other INTJ / MBTI works. Hearing first person experiences is a huge help.
Thank you for providing your story. People take for granted the power of connection especially when it's during difficult times. I'm glad that you found a therapist that speaks your language, it really is difficult to trust someone when you feel like you're not being heard. I'm hoping for the best for both of us my fellow INTJ, the world can be a cruel place but I believe that there's nothing that an INTJ can't conquer with proper planning and perseverance.
I was chuckling most the time of this video, because how I know most of the things you were talking about! I just know why you came up with this video for others, after being able to head up from your hole of loop. I'm going through all of the Ni-Fi loop and Se grip things right now. I know I'm going to dedicate my life where I decide to put my efforts in. (And also know that I'm going to be successful)! No one would find any logic behind this 'knowing'. No one would ever understand if I already knew that I'm going to be successful wherever I decide to put my efforts, then why I am depressed and feeling like paralyzed these days of visible uncertainty. ... Oh, and I think that therapy helps in some ways: even though you are in the loop and paralyzed as hell, talking out loud about your Te-solutions can be like a massage. I don't have a therapist right now and even trying to manage one is looking like a wastage of time. - You know, 'the loop', right?
The loop sucks so I empathize with what you're going through right now. I have the same suggestion for everyone in the loop, feel all your feelings. Don't analyze them, actually feel them. Therapy is definitely a path towards getting out of your loop but I find being around high Te users to be more beneficial because they don't tell you what you want to hear, they tell you what you need to hear. I hope you get out of your loop soon, I'm rooting for you ✊
Depression had its grip for 11 years of my life. It fully reared it's head in junior year of high-school when I was tasked with a history assignment assigned titled "Know Thyself". A double spaced 5 paged assignment that tasked you with self reflecting and examining oneself. The premise being that in order to assess and define the world you must first know thyself. Thyself being a subject matter only you can master and highest worthwhile pursuit dating back to ancient Greek philosophy origins. I was already going through those avoidance loops and the self destructive habits. The outer world had me believing that there was something fundamentally wrong with myself. Fast forward 11 years it wasn't until I underwent a 5 week ketamine therapy that I finally felt a reset in my brain. The drug didn't give me any singular moment of radical insights (or if it did, it has lingered on a more subconscious level). Instead, it's helped me see things in life in greater appreciation of detail. Something we INTJs often miss is stopping to smell the flowers. The best way to summarize my view of life after ketamine is: things that once seemed singularly pointed such as the apex of a roof seem more beveled. What is the angle of the edges of the shingles where there come to the point? What imperfections do the two meeting shingles have? Etc. What I want to say that I firmly believe that as humans we are all creations made from the image of God. I don't have to lean on my own imperfect understanding, God is just and omnipotent. I challenge you that if you ever feel depressed for not seeming purposeful that you consult the engineer, the Creator, for your understanding and sought after knowledge. Is it not he whom had the mind for a reason for your individualism? Proverbs 19:21 You can make many plans, but the LORD's purpose will prevail. We know from Genesis 1:27 that we were created in the image of God. This passage also reveals that God wove us together in the womb. We are, therefore, not a product of randomness or nature, but of God's omnipotent handiwork. God crafted each person in his or her mother's womb to be a distinct individual. We owe our existence to Him and not to happenstance
ENTP guy here, Even though this is the second video that I watched repeatedly more like 6 times, YOU MADE ME CRY so much realizing that I DO care for my INTJ friend. I know that giving space to each other is nice but things like this made me want to understand him more. I cried when he told me that "Thanks for staying by my side" To be honest, I don't know what the fuck does that mean? LIKE I am always there why did you say that? I am talking to you constantly in class because I care for you as a friend. But watching your video made me rethink that this is so much deeper.
Am INFJ and I can see the same in terms of lack of help and support. But I found the "cognitive diamant" and use that to recognize what emotion that affect my actions and/or thoughts and then I try and change it to a positive. Once you learn to tie emotions to an action, a though or an emotion it becomes a bit easier to recognize them. And when I cannot stop the thoughts I have added meditation and breathing exercises. I hope this can help you ...
I think I practice something similar. Inability to feel comfortable when in a social environment (including work), and if I get too many mixed "reads", I have to ground myself with an ACTUAL sensation instead of the "what if" aspect of the loop... unconsciously. In a bad state, we see what can go wrong, but in our better state we name what we feeling and resolve it by seeing is it actual... not likely/unlikely
D. All of the above. Yes. I will loop going indefinitely not making decisions- until they are moot points. If I do decide, it's almost impossible to follow through due to constantly reevaluating. I live by lists. I've been operating with high functioning depression for two decades. If I didn't have lists I must do- I would probably be homeless or dead. It's horribly frustrating to be able to figure out almost anything or achieve anything- but I can't get out of my own way. A side note- you don't seem weird to me at all. You seem honest as though this channel is your therapy. A way to figure yourself out with other INTJ's doing the same.
Sadly I can relate most of the stuffs you said. I badly want to get out of this loop. I am scared. I know I don't have much time and will punish myself in the future after getting out of this loop, because just like you do. I pushed back all of my projects. I always wake up unmotivated in life. Like everything's worthless. I have decided to cut my communication with my boyfriend to focus more of myself (because I don't want to be a burden to him, because he has been working hard so much, don't want to give him more stress.) Family problems are piling up. Just like you despite in this loop I can still function very well. I can still guide my parents in this family problem... doing all the plans and crucial decisions despite being the youngest in the family. I am just distracting myself these days, procrastinating, self loathing, irritation, grief for the recent death of my loved one... the worst depression I have ever had.
Sounds like you're having it pretty rough right now fellow INTJ. I'm not going to tell you how to deal with your loop so all I want to say is that you're not alone. INTJs need time to figure out our Fi values and once that's figured out then we'll be the effective and efficient person again. Spit your theories to other Te users (dom/aux), it's ususally the best way to get out of it. I'm hoping you the best and don't forget that you're never alone INTJ ✊
wow. This was so helpful. For years i thougt im an infp cuz of my results at the tests. Im really shocked rn and dont know what to say but the more i think about it the more it makes sense to me.
The best example of this that I can come up with is picking a DVD out of my collection of films to watch. I get paralyzed trying to make the perfect choice. The choice of movie that encapsulates everything I'm looking for.
I've recently left the loop, I decided to get back to grinding at the gym, and I'm pursuing my goal for this school year. I was doubting my own capabilities, if I'd be able to continue with my goals, I felt lost. I fell into some kind of depression, I was ditched by my friends for the dumbest and most obviously fake reasons. I realised that this was a blessing in disguise, this meant no one could disturb me anymore, I'm alone and I can pursue what I want without anyone in my way. So now here I am.
@@justcallmejon22 I have a question, can one have more than one Mbti type? I don't really think so but here's what I do think: I believe in part the theory that suggests that we have all 8 cognitive functions but that the four first are those that we use during almost 100% of the time, but it can happen for instance, in my case, beeing and INTJ, that I tap into Ti or Si. If I had two types they'd prolly be INTJ and ISTP. I possess characteristics from the both but I have more in common with the INTJ. The thing is, though, that my Ni often clashes with some form of Ti, and same goes for Te and Si. I've been researching thoroughly the topic, the individual functions in detail and the way they work. At face value I don't seem like quite the intuitive guy, but that couldn't be further from the truth, I mean I don't blame anyone because I'm almost always unaware of my Ni, it just... works. I also don't seem organised, my room can be qualified of a mess, however, it's what I call an organized mess, things aren't just randomly placed, they're put there for the sake of efficiency, same goes with scheduling, it seems like I'm just randomly resting and sleeping between random timings, but they're quite precise. I just organise my time in an odd way, to be more awake. When it comes to Fi, there's no doubt I have that, but definitely not as a dominant or auxiliary function. Finally, there's Se, idk how to explain this but I can't bring myself to understand how I use it, but I do ? I have a very good sense of observation and Se helps me recall a great amount of my memories when my Ni fails. So I think I just wrote this whole thing to explain to myself how I most definitely do not have 2 mbti types and it's just my lack of understanding of the correlation between the cognitive functions from the Ni to Se dynamic and the Te and Ni dynamic aswell which made my consider that hypothesis (or theory). If you read through the whole thing thanks, please tell me what you think about the matter, I need to understand the whole concept, I don't seem to have a full grasp of it.
@@justcallmejon22 It did. I’m an older INTJ, 49. I had a partner for 15 years, and we separated amicably a few months ago. Being an INTJ I’ve always found it hard to build networks and connections outside that relationship. Now that I’m alone again, I’m more exposed to the challenges of being an INTJ, few friends, often misunderstood and the rest. I feel the weight, the burden, at times of being someone who is so in their head all the time. Also, the INTJ relentless pursuit for self improvement and self actualisation can be so tiring at times.
I was revising for my exams and had to write an English essay. I had no problems writing those before, in fact I loved writing essays... but that day... i just stared at the question, i knew i had to get it done in an hour, but i just couldn't start because i didn't like the topic, and i was afraid to start as i felt that if i didn't like the topic, it wouldn't be a good enough essay, i got frustrated and concluded i didn't want to write that essay because i wasn't in the mood... it was one of the worst things i had felt. Thanks for this video.
Thank you for making this video, I too have gone through at least 4 therapists in the last 3 years. Maybe it helps for a few days, but the underlying issue is never solved. Every "solution" provided is always to deal with the symptoms, rather than the source of the problem. I don't want coping mechanisms, I'm looking for solutions! (>.
I dont mind what others might say i enjoy living in my imagination and create what i imagine.Lonely might feel when you understand that you are not for everyone out there and that is ok.My difficulty most of the times is when i see the potential of someone and find it difficult to exept the reality with is far away from what i see in others
You don't know how much your videos help me and I'm sure many other INTJs like me.. To know the reason why I behave like a distinct way, or that it's not just me, that I'm not a whacko... I can also relate to you about the therapy.. I was once taking help in my college years.. My parents make me go... But all those questions they were asking I was feeling like I knew why it as asked, I knew if I answered this option, they will predict this about me, If I answered the other option they will predict that about me.. Like I already know what they are doing... Or the suggestions they gave me, I already tried or at least thought of that I can do this & this will be the result... got nothing helpful out of it...
I'm happy to hear that my videos are beneficial to your personal development. It's a shitty situation for INTJs since modern-day psychology isn't made for us. I acknowledge your frustration, you're not alone ✊
Therapy doesn’t help. Exacte same experience as een ENFP. I see the tick boxing and boxing me up into a known problem for the therapist. I know what to do. But never got the strength to do it. Not much questions asked. Suddenly the session stops and i get stated as healed because I’m a natural happy person. The I don’t know how I feel about is a great eye opener. Thank you.
As an INTJ I have seen several therapist and I always teach them stuff they end up using for other patients. They compliment and tell me I am too hard on myself. And obviously if that was the case I wouldn't be in a therapist office
I'm beginning to see a trend that a lot of therapists aren't able to access the same depth of understanding as Ni users are. I'm not saying all of them have that issue, I'm just saying that I empathize with your pain brother ✊
I don't know if I'm depressed because I've never been to therapy (in fact, I'm afraid to show people what I'm like inside, I feel that to be successful I have to keep everything about myself a secret). I'm 18, almost 19, INTJ, I grew up in Switzerland and last year I moved to France for my final year of secondary school. That moment was the beginning of my vicious circle. I had always planned my life in Switzerland (I had planned everything until my 28th birthday), I have this obsession with success and I knew that I didn't have much time to be successful because of the short time I would be on earth, so I planned my entire life when I was 12 yo. Moving to France destroyed everything I'd planned. I did my baccalaureate with the best mention you can have, I'm now at an engineering school, but I'm in a worse stage than ever. I thought these studies would make me happy again, but nothing is the same. I don't see the point of most of the things I do, so I don't work, I still get better grades than almost everyone in my school, but there is this lack inside me, this lack of meaning. I don't know what I'm doing, I don't know why I'm going to this school, but I'm trapped, I can't stop, but I can't go on like this, and even though I've tried, there's nothing I can do about it. My energy is getting lower every day, my will to wake up too, but I have to go on. I have to behave normally around people, I have to be so good at hiding who I am that everyone thinks I'm happy and well, I have to achieve everything in life, because if I don't, I don't know what I'll do. The trap I'm in consumes me every day, like I'm burning from the inside, I've tried to analyse everything about myself, about the world around me, about people, but it's only made me feel worse, like I have bugs in my head and it's going to explode. I have the feeling that I'm not even connected to this world, like I'm the mind controlling my body, like you're controlling a player with a keyboard and a mouse, I still get up, I still eat (the minimum to stay alive), I still go to school, but without any will or meaning, I just have to. Why? I don't know, and it makes me sick. But THE thing that drive me crazy, is that I litteraly have EVERYTHING to be happy, there is so many people that would be so happy being me, but not me, and I don't get it. You don't need to answer if you don't want to, it just feel a bit great to write it down
Don't worry young INTJ, Uncle Jon is here and I respond to every comment! It sounds like you are going through INTJ depression and I understand what you're going through because I went through something similar when I was your age in college. I didn't decide on my major until I was 26 years old, and that's after I took a break from college. I originally took classes in psychology but something about it didn't click for me. I then chose engineering after being an Electronic Technician in the military for a few years, but I wanted to cry taking midterms thinking that this is now my life. What I was also doing during that time was taking business courses not because it was required but because it was interesting and fun for me. Right after one of my finals, I went to the counselor and told them I'm changing my focus at 26 to business and I loved it ever since. It's difficult for any human being to decide on a profession that can potentially span the rest of their life and it's extremely difficult for INTJs because we're Ni doms and planning is the most normal thing for us and yet we're missing so much information to make a decision. I'm not telling you what you should do but I do want to provide the best advice that I received from a very influential ENTP in my life. He told me, "Keep doing something until it's not fun anymore. At that point, go find something else. Life is too short to do something you hate." Lastly, be around friends and family that care about you and enjoy the moment. You're still human and you need to enjoy life. You also learn more about yourself when you meet other people and gain more life experience. Good luck young INTJ, just remember that your decisions are never wrong if you think it's the best decision for you ✊
@@justcallmejon22 Thank you very much for your answer, I think I will talk to my parents and try to change my major, I have some ideas of what will make me happy, I don't want to live with regrets, so I will try! Have a nice day, thank you again for taking the time to answer my message, it's very kind of you, it feels great to feel understood by people that think like me.
I have recently relased that I am an INTJ just because the questions of most of the tests relied on understanding your own feelings and thats the most difficult thing for me I always understand people more than how I understand my feelings , sometimes I knew that I could put the effort into something but when I realise that don't want to do it I end up very stressed and not even doing the thing, its my senior year and I have to get a good results to get into a good college , but I am not even intersted in medicine . That is making my progress very difficult.
I didn't fully understand myself until my early 30s so you still got time. Stay open to whatever type you might be and never ignore your feelings. You got this kiddo, life gets better as long as you continue to work on self improvement ✊
Woahhhhh! I had loooong bouts of this that got worse and worse until I finally decided to get divorced. I'd do strange things like go to the store and find myself wandering around for an hour with no actual purpose, even though I knew I had to make dinner, clean, etc. It's as if the NiFi loop was processing what I needed on some deeper level before I realized it.
I am totally in such a loop, often. I don't have any impetus to think of the betterment of things I need to fix as nothing ever gets better and I am not insane. Therefore, I don't believe doing the same thing over and over will get a different result. The thing is, things should work but they won't, because, the people in my way do not change, do not understand me, do not believe I am capable no matter how often I prove that I am, etc. So, there are things I need to do, but which there is no value to place on them.
I agree with everything you said, except for the therapy been as my brother and the same mindset. I am very convinced that being they very rare INTJ, you haven’t yet found a therapist that truly understands you and will truly absorb all the personal information they are taking in from you. You need to find another INTJ therapist that is very open minded, and intelligent like yourself. Not every psychologist is great, just like all of those that don’t accept the MBTI. Yes, there goes my Ti. Lol -INTP
It is absolutely crazy how much you sound like me. Every single video, you and I appear have the same ideas about most everything! In this video I wanted to mention something since you bring up Jay-Z. In the Objective Personality system, I believe that JayZ and I may be "type twins" or have the exact same specific expression of the use of the cognitive functions which is MM-Ni/Fi-SC/B(P). Just throwing it out there. Thanks for making your videos. You are doing great and helpful work, even helping me fill in some gaps on things that I understand.
Okay wait so u r telling me that it's all normal, that I'm normal and that I've always been normal. Man i REALLY NEEDED TO KNOW THIS. Although i usually hate when solution to problem is covered the least but this is the first time i wanted to hear that i ain't lonely as I've been. The topics covered (like weirdness or not normal in the mass, loneliness, depression, not being understood, getting annoyed or helpless to see that i know more that someone who i asked for guidance well at least about myself) i hate being categorized into something because their categories are very vague. But nevertheless I'll try to study more about this. Thanks, i really needed this. Glad to know I'm not alone, really.
I know you don't believe in God but you are loved by him and always will be. You are this unique way for a reason. And it's because the world needs it. Thank you for this video, it was very helpful. Yes psychology does not help everyone.
I got depression in 2021, during this period I discovered MBTI and psychology and it fascinated me.
The MBTI/typology/cognitives functions is The thing which answered to the why of practically everything in my life. These knowledge have reconnected most of the pieces of the puzzle of my life.
This is how I knew I was INTJ and not INFJ.
I got depression not because I didn't see people (Fe 2 - INFJ), but because I didn't work, achieve, get done something (Te 2 - INTJ), and also because I didn't have goal (Ni) anymore at this moment.
I agree, INTJ we value Time and Energy so much.
_When I had no job, do TH-cam video allowed me to not get depressed. To do what I want/like, to share all what I want, to help people, and also to improve my English, my way of speaking, to learn lonely to edit video. I needed to put in the world, externalize all I had in my mind to be better. And meet amazing people like me, who really understand me (INTJ and ENTP)
_We can stay lonely for days, weeks, month without problems, but we can't not work on something, we need to achieve things.
_I am sorry you never felt heard by therapists. I am lucky the one I went is INTJ, and one other whom I did WAIS IV test is INFJ, they understood me so well, even better than myself. I told to him after the 10 free sessions, that I am the only one who can help me.
_I think therapy can't really help INTJ and ISFP because we are already very introspective.
I think stress and depression are caused by our self, our cognitives function, It happen when we neglect our first or second function or both. It's important to remember who we are (Mainly Ni Te for us).
An INTJ is depressed ? The solution is learn the cognitives functions, follow INTJ channels to learn about himself, make him know that he is not lonely like this. We are the most prone to be interested and passionate about MBTI/typology.
I think INTJ have so much to share/bring to the world. I consider INTJ like my family, I would like hug many of them if I could, because we lived more or less the same things, same struggle/issues with the world, people and life.
Seems many INTJ we discovered MBTI at the moment we need it the most in our life.
You're very insightful and I agree that a lack of direction really hits INTJs in the gut.
Your comment just made me tear up a little. Thank you.
And also I hate you for pointing out what I already know but try to ignore.
You have expressed exactly how I feel. Thank you for the video . 🙏
Sounds very much like me. I was already diagnosed with clinical depression and my best therapy was leaving the cave and joining stuff some time, like a hermit finally out in the sun.
Then pandemic hits and I had a massive heartbreak and a stillbirth...
No money for meds and no work...
I still in my "path" even tho sometimes I feel no progress, and this is what I just identified with as my biggest roadblock: Lack of ambitious projects.
Right now I'm trying for a baby again (6 months) and it's a very risky pregnancy and I can't work.
Just being on bed seeing my life and financial needs pass without me doing much is so Frustrating and Desperating...
I'm gonna help the must I can with my current husband's new business idea as I'm better than him and he's partner in some management stuff.
I feel like is very little for my ambition and capacity but is all I have for now.
I had 4 therapist and had the same poor experience he mentions, anyway, lets stay alive one day at a time.
Intj.
and it took 3 min to read this
why watch 16min video
I have noticed that I also watch or read a lot of mbti when I'm stressed and/or depressed. It helps to make sense of things. I've read that INTJs are their own therapists. I think it's true.
We're our own therapists for better or worse but there are some other comments from people who said that they found a therapist that is truly helping so I say continue your search if you need it ✊
@@justcallmejon22 meh, I'm good, but I'm glad people can find them sometimes when they need them.
"I had a solution to my problems but I didn't know how I felt about the solutions!" My god - you cracked the thing I've been trying to phrase forever when I hit that point.
I feel you brotha and trust me when I say that you're not alone in that feeling ✊🏼
That quote is so true! I know exactly how to solve each of my problems, I just don't know if I have the energy and will to do it.
I had the same struggles with therapy. I discovered Cognitive Behavioral Therapy doesn't work on someone who is constantly analyzing their own behaviors. I needed someone to intuitively call out my loops.
The silver lining to me putting out this video is that I don't feel as alone when I read comments like this. Thank you 🙏
I feel you. Food for thought. When I meet with medical professionals it's not that I know more than they do it's that I can sense a flaw in their logic.
I think that's a better way of putting it than what I said in the video 🙏
@@justcallmejon22 thanks for putting your self out there.
@@justcallmejon22 Thanks, but it's always easier to give feedback than to create. Keep keepin on Brother.
Thanks for putting this out there, I too have felt this as a INTJ. I Get paralyzed inside my mind and agree the typical therapist would do more hurt that good for our type. Looking forward to more content.
Appreciate the comment and thanks for watching!
I can confirm that the typical therapist gets really annoyed really fast with this INTJ girl here. The problem with typical therapy techniques is that they are based on the idea to teach you about reflecting and analysing your thoughts and feelings. But INTJs do that already. At least the thoughts part. Second problem is that the therapist wants you to recognise and identify an emotion when it comes up. But the INTJ mind doesn’t care all that much about the emotions. Emotions are there. When the mind sees a solution to a problem, it wants to go for it. What finally helped me to get my depression and anxiety under control, is using the self-reflecting INTJ thing and mindfulness techniques that get you out of your head and in touch with your body.
@@MHBTNO that's a brilliant observation that I actually never considered that therapy teaches a person to self reflect and that's all we've been doing our entire lives. Thank you for the comment and teaching me something new!
@@MHBTNO thanks for your reply! Totally feel that and grasp what you mean…tough to rely that to family and friends tho, lol
Exactly well said, my sister definitely can’t grasp it, lol
This is exactly how I've been feeling for the last few months. I feel so stuck, not getting anything done - meaning I still do my 9-5 very well, I still feed myself etc. but the things that matter to me are on hold while I try to figure out how I feel about something in my life. I try to reach out to the people around me, to ask for help, but they can't help. The things they are saying are all brilliant, but I have already thought of it and I am left feeling... unsure about what I am feeling and why and what possible decisions I could make and what possible outcomes they would lead to and how I would feel about those... it just doesn't want to stop!
I have also been diving into MBTI in these months and it is very helpful to understand what's going on through the lens of my function stack. Fi can be tricky.
You're not alone and I'm glad to hear that you found MBTI in healthy way where it can help with your issue. It sucks knowing that the program used for majority of humanity isn't as helpful to you, I empathize with that. I hope you find your way out soon and that you know that you're never alone. I'm rooting for you fellow INTJ ✊
Damn this makes so much sense now. A year ago I was stuck in the loop for 3 days without realizing what was happening. Once I realized that I was more or less depressed I reached out to my INFJ friend and we met up a month later and talked for 3-4 hours while walking in a park. He really helped me set my priorities straight. Over a week I started feeling better and I feel like it helped so much.
Glad to hear that you're out of the loop brotha! Take care of your INFJ, you're going to need him a lot more times throughout your life 😂
I've been waiting for an INTJ to pop up on the TH-cam scene who actually understands what a true INTJ is like.
@l-ixir I'm an INTJ and already judging you for being a dimwit.
@l-ixir shadowban test
I thought at first that this video would be a typical INTJ one but I didn't expect to let just caught me 4K HD-
Personally, I was in the NI-FI loop for at least 5 years( and still enter it again nowadays but I'm more aware of it and manage somehow to get out). I even got mistyped as an INFP for all those years just because on how focused I was on my Fi. I finally got my real type (INTJ) legit not long ago by checking on those mbti cognitive function types in dept and also with an external help.
Anyways, what I really mean is that, what you've said in the whole video, is just so accurate. Mostly the therapy part. I did have some therapy session in the past and tbh, it was really rare for me to feel "listened". My therapist told me that they were impressed on how aware I am with my inner problems and that I got solutions for them (also the fact that I as 18-19 back then), they thought that I could go off with it but in the end of the day, I just felt lost.
So in the end of the day, I just end up checking stuffs for myself since I was just the only one that I can trust fully and understand...
I just thought that I would end up being alone with these problems and just accept it. But now I'm quite relieved that I'm not the only one going "crazy" about it.
So thank you so much for this video, it helped me a lot! Let's not let this Ni-Fi loop beat us, we are better than this!
I'm always happy to hear that this video is helpful to other INTJs out there. We might be different comparitively to other types but we're not alone. I agree, we got this INTJ Queen ✊
Thanks for sharing your thoughts and expressing it in such a manner!
I am an INTJ myself and have been working very hard on myself over the last years to understand lots of things a bit more.
One major topic is how I saw feelings. I know I have them but they often felt like "getting in the way of actually getting things done". Thinking about this Ni-Fi-loop and what has triggered it mostly for me was a lack of clear direction or goals. Sometimes caused by realizing that I don't "like" the direction my life is headed right now. Sometimes caused by relationship issues. Sometimes even some critic I have received. All have in common that it triggers more the feeling aspect of me and less thinking aspect.
I am even so far that I most of the times do like these kind of loops as they usually result in having more clear direction and conviction about doing what I "feel" is the right thing to do. Using Te to then put it into reality has helped me become quite succesful overall in life.
It can be sometimes very hard, especially if many things go wrong at the same time or some more "traumatic" kind of experiences come. For me the main causes were a loved one dying, a relationship ending, ...
What I am trying to work now on, which I would have thought of as ridiculous a couple years back is being more in touch with my emotions and using them more regularly as a "compass" together with my thinking process to align to better results overall that I also "feel" are right (instead of only "thinking" that they are right). It has been a very interesting journey for now roughly a year of looking more inwards and really focussing on my emotions as well but it does feel like the "big next step" forward in regards to personal growth for me. Maybe it helps some other INTJs here too!
Good luck with everything!
It really is interesting to hear from other INTJs that emotions have always been more of a "nuisance" than something that we use to lead our emotions until later in life. I'm in a way better state than I was when I made the video, and I hope the same for you ✊
I've slipped myself into a depression very recently. Something happened that made me relive everything about the recent past all over again, which I thought I had processed through and moved on from. Lately, I've been scared reaching out to any people I know because my paranoia tends to overwhelm my friends and family. My Ni-Fi loop is too intense. This intensity is what led me to have a really bad time last year for all the damages it caused, because to those who I trusted that they could help me failed to really do so, leaving behind a lot of disappointments and pain, which I'm now reliving all over again.
Been cooped up and just rewatching these INTJ videos like yours just to get a tight grip and hang on. Thanks for keeping on posting, man.
I know I already responded to your other post talking about the same topic. I just want to reiterate that you got this ✊
Every time I watch one of your videos, I'm totally amazed about how much they are relatable. It's as if I was listening to my own thoughts. I'm a self-typed INTJ, but sometimes I question my MBTI personality, especially because of all the traumas and years of depression I went through that make me a bit unsure about my feelings. But then I watch your videos and I feel so understood and validated, it's crazy, I'm not used at all to this kind of feeling: recognizing myself in someone else. I don't know whether I can be 100% sure I'm a true INTJ, but now I don't want to stop till I find another INTJ in real life to see how it feels to engage with one and see whether we connect for real. I've already told you so in other videos, but again, thanks for sharing your thoughts with us.
I'm glad my video helped you realized that you're not alone. Whether you're an INTJ or not, the entire purpose of me posting that video was so that people like you and myself can feel heard when everyone else thinks we're crazy. You're not alone ✊
God Damn, thank you bro, this means a lot. It often always feels like no one understands, its just you know.
You're never alone brotha ✊
Good insights, the loop is certainly an internal cerebral experience of non action and irrational behavior. It’s when you feel that you are logical but you are just feeling miserable and it’s coloring your thoughts.
NiFI loop is blindness. An INTJ that lacks vision cannot apply anything to reality. I particularly struggle with this feeling of helplessness when I face myself with existential crisis about my future, the future of the world and so forth,
An existential crisis happens every given Sunday 🙃. I agree that it feels like blindness with a lack of direction but I also know it's necessary and my body telling me that something is wrong and it's finally time to listen.
Your eyes are so deep and compassionate. And hearing the way you speak about your struggles with such clarity, intelligence, and humility, you singlehandedly defy all the INTJ stereotypes out there that INTJs are cold and lack human emotion. You are more human in how you experience your disconnection from humans than most humans are in being ‘human.’ What pours from your heart is so true and authentic. It’s very healing to me as an INFP. I love an INTJ but was treated in such a shockingly cold manner by him after he declared his feelings for me and I reciprocated, that after a long period of healing from the deep hurt and betrayal and confusion, I am now on YT trying to understand the INTJ’s mind and heart. Hearing about your ‘shutdown’ helped a lot.
As an INFP, I have felt very similarly. It’s a bit different. It’s almost the opposite, but becomes almost identical in the final stance. I feel so much and so deeply about so many things, but I am also leaning dismissive avoidant due to trauma and being a creator by nature (poetry, art), so I am actually chill on the outside and consciously detached and often unaware of my feelings. They are huge under the surface and only get fully activated in certain moments, certainly while creating. I have also felt the aching loneliness of seeing through the matrix and people’s false assumptions, motivations, or unhealed wounds that wreak havoc, which led to my feeling unseen and unheard 99.9% of the time. So I went through a similar period that you did. I got my MFA in poetry, which helped, as I found some of my human tribe, especially a fellow old soul in my mentor. But where I truly found true soul solace was in reading the journals of van Gogh, Sylvia Plath, and Thoreau.
You can feel heard just by hearing echoes of yourself in another.
Now I also find solace in MBTI tribes online and rediscovering my INFP-ness recently has helped me tremendously to accept myself. I do believe a lot of the IN types are the oldest souls. I know you mentioned you only believe in one lifetime, but I no longer believe that to be true based on recent metaphysical revelations I’ve experienced. Older souls will have to look a little harder to find each other, and discover what ‘home’ means to us on earth, in this life.
Thank you for a beautiful, moving, brave, and deeply inspiring post. Much love to you… you are not alone! ❤
Thank you for your kind words and I'm sorry to hear that the relationship with the INTJ didn't work out. We're really not for everyone. I will say that of all the 16p in MBTI, INFPs tend to be the people I usually get close to the easiest because of how authentic your type is. I'm glad you found your tribe whether it's through poetry or MBTI, no one should walk the path of life alone ✊
I have NEVER been able to describe how I feel or been able to talk to anyone how I feel when I get in my loop. I've never understood it. But when you said that "you know what you need to do but you constantly ask yourself how do you feel about and you don't know so you just get caught in a cycle" was so real. At the end when he said "focus on what you want to do. You know what you don't want to do so just focus on doing what you want to do". This video has changed my perspective in my life and I think is a huge stepping sone for me getting out of my loop. Thank you so much.
Best of luck, I'm sure you'll kickass regardless of what you decide to do ✊
Bro, you're the first person I've discovered who has been able to describe exactly what I am/have been going through. Having completed group therapy, CBT, and talking therapy, and on taking medication over the years, I found that all | gained was frameworks and coping mechanisms on how to re-frame things consciously but not sub-consciously or emotionally. I also feel like I know exactly what all of my problems are and how to fix them, better so than the professionals, and was told I didn't need to be in therapy because I was able to hold down a high level job, kept my life more or less 'together', not in debt, not causing visible harm, had a relationship and knew what I needed to do etc. But I never understood how to manage the feelings that came with that. I was barely managing to keep myself 'together enough' and it took up 100% of my energy, every day, all the time just to exist. I had no energy left for myself at the end of the day and that left me vulnerable to the slightest breeze throwing me off track and down a hole for weeks. Thanks for putting this out there. I feel heard now! Subbed and notifications on.
Thanks for sharing your story brotha, we're in this together ✊
@l-ixir The second I saw your comment I laughed! You took the words right out of my mouth. I always found her a bit sus.
Great insight. I’ve never had therapy because I know it won’t work because no one knows me more than me. I spent a lot of time “finding myself” and loving myself to get to the bottom of who I am and I feel so much happier and healthier than ever. Shrinks don’t have the types of answers that I want. I’ve figured them out myself.
I've been told that finding the right therapist is like dating. I hate dating 🙃
I don’t wanna brag about being an INTJ right now, I think we are not able change it but we can really realize that we have to make time to take care of ourselves. Dude, thanks for the video. I feel you, and thanks for TH-cam to recommend this video.
Take care of yourself brother, you're not alone ✊
Oh my goodness. Thank you SO much for putting this out there. What you've described makes so much sense. It's awesome to FINALLY find someone else who appears to truly understand the loop. Again, thank you so much for this video!
I'm glad you found it helpful!
This resonated with so heavy. I know a lot of people but have the hardest time connecting. I literally become a hermit crab & shut out the entire world whenever I’m processing my emotions or I’m making head/heart conflicted decisions.
I hope you're not in your loop at the moment fellow INTJ and just like myself, I hope you find solace knowing that you're not alone in the way that you process your emotions ✊
@@justcallmejon22 Bruv. You have no idea the kind of loop… I tried to do the normal thing & talk about it in therapy just to come to realization that I’m overthinking & killing my own vibe for no reason, I just need to take action despite not feeling ready.😒 Sending all the love & positive energy to you my fellow INTJ, let’s exit this loop together.☀️
I’m a training therapist and I agree with you sadly! I go through therapy and it’s frustrating knowing they’re missing crucial steps or not responding appropriately. They’re supposed to empower your unique problem solving abilities with curiosity and radical acceptance and an equal power balance. I don’t see this often. I’m an INFP and I need them to go deep with me in exploration stage. A lot treated me like a counsellor while I was the client and the one I have who knows I’m in training doesn’t give me the service because they skip listening and intellectualise because I already know what I’m saying and what it means psycho education-wise. But I can’t do the active listening and guidance to myself as effectively when I actually need someone else to help me with that role so I can just be the client
It feels like therapists are taught to find a problem instead of taught how to listen and listening will help find the problem easier. I hope you empower the lives of your clients and one of the rare professionals that chose to listen first 🙂
ENFP here. As I was listening this this part of the video I really resonated and this comment summarises my experiences in therapy perfectly!
Thanks for making this video, sharing what is going on inside your mind about Ni Fi loop. I have read quite a bit about the loop, but didn't really know how to identify it. I often have this messy, noisy mind at the back, without me actually thinking anything in particular. Like you said in the video, you could be playing video games but subconsciously something else is going on at the back. It is very annoying, it disrupts my sleep, it would either take me a long time to fall asleep, or my brain could be so active when I am sleeping, it keeps finding and coming up different solutions for random things while I am sleeping, and eventually wakes me up.
Many videos or articles for INTJ suggest meditation. I used to go to yoga classes, because that particular yoga instructor's approach suited me and could calm me down. Unfortunately Covid has changed a lot of things in life. I realised yoga couldn't really calm my mind most of the time, I could be doing yoga, but my mind could still be noisy and annoying at the back. I have started adult ballet few months ago, I find it really helpful. It requires a lot of mind focusing to - balance, strength, counting, thinking about music, movement, posture etc. It can really get my mind to solely focus on all of those mentioned at the same time. I also love head message, that really calms my mind down quickly and fall asleep.
I found out about Nichola, she is a psychotherapist, also an INTJ. She has made a few videos about INTJ. I love her videos, they speak my mind and approach so well, spot on, sometimes they make me smile too. Here is one for lost INTJ - th-cam.com/video/qRXCkD6DElY/w-d-xo.html
Unhealthy INTJ and how to help th-cam.com/video/ywNlbhMhY4c/w-d-xo.html
I hope you enjoy Nichola's videos.
Not being able to fall asleep or waking up at 3am in the morning because your brain is in overdrive is the worst. Nichola has great videos!
As someone who is deep inside the loop atm I could relate to 100% of what you were saying. Thank you. I lost my ability to physically do things and at times even think clearly because of long covid and it''s extremely hard for an INTJ who is future orientated, ambitious and aspiring to have and achieve goals to just be laying down on the couch. For me my self-worth lies in my achievements and not passively just being and breathing. That has been really difficult for any therapist to understand and I have been misunderstood and reprimanded several times. I guess I would need a therapist who is an INTJ themselves, but it's impossible to find one.
The worst is to not be able to imagine/analyze the possible outcomes for the future (there are too many because of the uncertainty of recovery) and in this scenario trying to find out what on earth am I feeling. Haven't been this numb before. My solution for not overthinking 24/7 (and loosing my sanity) and the place for escapism has been Netflix and TH-cam because I am not capable for much else. I would give a lot for figuring out some new goals for the future - what I truly want to do and where I could be happy or at least contented.
I understand exactly what you're feeling and I also went through difficult therapy sessions similar to your experience. It really is difficult having Dom Ni because people really can't relate. I just want you to know that you're not alone and I know you'll get through it. You're an INTJ, you'll never stop being surprised on how powerful you truly are ✊
Your videos are the best about INTJ's on TH-cam. I relate a lot to all of your experiences and It's so good to know that We INTJ's should not follow an especific path if a decision was made. That was a therapy for me, actually.
Keep It up!
Glad it helped!
I wish I had seen this video sooner. I too am an INTJ but somehow only recently learned about the MBTI a few days ago. Two months ago I had just got out of a loop that lasted One and a half years. I thought I was broken or something but I am out of it now and share a lot of the solutions to it as you do. It was the same thoughts tho... lots of solutions and things I could do. But no understanding on how I felt on each and everything and was stuck doing nothing. Thank you so much for making this video and a bunch of others I plan to watch on your channel! I have started to write a book on my experience a few months back (not trying to advertise) and it is far from done but this inspires me to write more. Thank you so much!
I'm glad you found your way out of the loop and would love to read your book whenever it's ready.
Hey, Jon :) I'm new to your channel. I've been thinking the best therapists are seasoned NTs and NFs. I've had (my opinion, not tested) an ENFJ and an ENTP therapists. Both great, detecting different things, giving always relevant feedback and cues. The ENTP is also an Astrologer. Like you, I've found missing pieces and solutions in MBTI and Astrology that standard psychology didn't have for me. Talking to fellow Ni doms has been such a relief ❤️
I love your content ❤️ INTJs have this uncanny knack of finding the best words to express things that my Ti often fails me with.
Best wishes!
~INFJ
INFJs are just as good at explaining things, you just don't think that you are 🤗
@@justcallmejon22Probably, but I find INTJs much better, more orderly and more precise world-wise 😊
@@justcallmejon22Probably, but I find INTJs much better, more orderly and more precise world-wise 😊
@l-ixir Yes, we know how to make people like us. I've even had INTJs getting jealous of that o.O The thing is INTJs usually have a large storage of factual data which helps a great deal with presenting better arguments. When Te and Fe join forces, backed by common Ni, the power combination is epic and the limits to what they can do togethe are next to non-existent. If the functions are well developed, ofc. It's why I really love having emotionally mature INTJs in my life. My soul is filled up with so much delight ❤🎉
You put the words to what I’ve been feeling and dealing with for years now! I couldn’t put the words to it. This horrid loop.
You're not alone INTJ Queen ✊
Loved this video. I have adopted a couple mantras to "smooth out" the Ni Fi loop. I have gained an understanding that certain aspects of life are mysterious, perhaps a bit messy, or difficult to articulate or understand. It removes my brain's machinery to keep looping on trying to analyze, understand, decide. Let things be, however they are. I did not find tons of help from therapy, and can relate to you Jon. I ended that, but started piano lessons and it has been life-changing. Now I have a language to express emotions that are difficult to put into words. I also can use music to connect with others, like playing songs that my family likes singing to! And finally, there are so many mysteries in music, the theory, the math, the human spirituality of it. It provides tremendous meaning every day. There are not so many accomplishments and accolades in this part of my life, but just pure enjoyment, learning, and low-pressure progress towards mastery. Curious if anyone else has experienced this.
I'm happy to hear that you found an emotional outlet through music. Keep shining fellow INTJ ✊
INTJ here 💁🏻♀️ I've always said that I have high functioning depression... I do all the things and I still succeed in every aspect of my life because I really dont allow myself to fail. But sometimes I feel like I don't try at all and it makes no sense how I've accomplished certain things.
I just do the thing. I have to. Nobody else is gonna do the thing for me. I look at all the options and I make the best decision for me.
I want you to know, you're not alone in the fact that therapy doesn't work for you. I've also had have 7 or 8...I lost track of how many I've seen. I've even went years not going and then trying again. I recently just tried again last year, with the virtual sessions, and still no luck. I joke and say I need to level up and see the therapist's Therapist. The Master Therapist lol.
I have the same feeling about it though. And I don't want to sound stuck up or conceited, but I feel like I'm always three steps ahead of them and I just need them to catch up and listen to me. I need a personalized approach lined up with what I need and not some standard across-the-board practice.
Like, I know what I'm doing but I have no idea how I feel about it... Sometimes when you're too logical, or like a gifted child as I was, it's like you know too much about too much. You understand and see everything and it's just overwhelming and depressing sometimes.
Ignorance truly is bliss.
I hope we both find our master therapist one day 😂
The issue that you have is that you being an INTJ are a very intelligent individual and very the top 1%, so subsequently you have to find a therapy that is also highly intelligent and very open, and thus level the playing field. I know us INTP’s have very similar issues, as most cannot deal with our extremely logical and complex minds.
As an INTJ, I really feel everything you’ve said. I’m currently in my loop and part of the thing that makes me feel terrible is that as an INTJ, I’m good at weeding out BS excuses in other people and -when I’m at my best- I have a very “it needs to get done so I must get it done” type of attitude. To be caught in this loop and not do the things I need to do, while also understanding how easy it is to do them and how I ultimately have no excuse, has been the hardest hurdle to overcome. Plus, the anti social, not responding to anyone thing….yeah, feel that big time lol
I emphatize with being in the loop, it sucks but sometimes I feel like it's necessary. Feel ALL your feelings. Don't analyze them, actually feel them. I don't know if you read my other comments but Te will get you out. When you're ready, I suggest being around Te users. They usually get Mama Te to come back home and then you'll be the productive INTJ again. I'm rooting for you brother, you got this ✊
I explained to someone else that when we think a method is effective enough to achieve something, we do that. When we can't see that method no matter how much we think or feel about the problem it's natural to feel depressed especially if it's about ourselves. Learning MBTI I learned that the solution is in the Fe, Se and Si functions.
It's a blessing and a curse to be so aware of our limitations 😭
I tried to get all the way through your video before commenting and i can't, made it 2 and a half minutes in.
What you are describing is the other side of the coin. I'm an INFJ-A and my mind is healthy as it has ever been all things considered but the NiTi loop is still a thing. If prevents me from doing all kind of stuff and it's frustrating and paralyzing bc there is so much i want to say and do. You are making a difference. That's awesome!!! I just love you buddy. Thank you for your vulnerability and transparency. ❤❤❤
I almost feel that I've never been more heard! I also always focus on one thing that I feel is the most important thing to do - and I do accomplish what I plan to accomplish! What you're saying is that although people think that INTJs aren't 'feelers', we do have feelings. Even big ones! And we even base our decisions on our feelings. What we feel is the most important thing to do. Feelings give us the motivation to succeed!
I'm glad this video was helpful 🙂
Jon, you are not an alone INTJ. The way I coped was to realize everything will happen anyway and I must enjoy the pockets of meaning in my life even if I don't readily recognize them. To help you break from the Ni - Fi loop is you MUST develop your Se. Developing your Se is a direct derivative of connecting yourself to the outside world. Like "Wow this is a messy room." I learn to develop it more after I discovered the philosophy of Daoism. I use balance as a necessity to care for myself. When doing this your Se can reinforce your Fi to envision a more valuable [you].
I really appreciate the reply. I've recently realized how important Se is for an INTJ and have been making it a priority to engage with it more often.
This is so interesting and helpful in understanding the mind of an INTJ. As someone who is recovering from depression, I hope you are doing better and not suffering from the loop right now. I also really related to this video even though I'm not an INTJ so hope it's okay I share my two cents.
2:25 I feel like that all the time too. It's so comfortable living in my head and being a removed observer of the world but too much of it can become isolating and lead to a depressive state. I've started to learn to recognize the signs - if I lay in bed til 2am ruminating about the meaning of life, I have to start making changes and go on a hike the next day or something to connect back with reality. There are many times when I subconsciously feel like I'm using Ni to reach some Eureka moment and that contemplating this is important, but it comes at the expense of my physical/mental health so I've had to learn to just redirect that thought before it gets too deep. I did have someone tell me "think less, do more". I also realized there is an optimal level of "busy" for me - too much to do and I get stressed (that pesky Se), too little and I start ruminating again. It's a struggle to find equilibrium in every aspect of life.
2:47 ah yes, high functioning depression.
8:36 Bingo. This disclaimer and whole section is exactly how I feel about therapy. Helpful for the majority, but not built for the minority. I have personally shopped around to upwards of 15 therapists in the past 5 years, in numerous states and settings and maybe 2 have come close to understanding me. It's infinitely frustrating to have to explain my thought process, emotions and the way I view the world to someone who just stares back and asks "have you tried holding an ice cube?" Makes me wanna flip a table. (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻ Turns out the only person who "gets" me is my mentor who isn't even a therapist but is an INTJ. Being an Ni dom is a lonely experience.
9:36 This. It feels like I'm talking to a wall most of the times. It's like they're listening but not understanding. I also feel like I know myself better than anyone else, and I keep (respectfully) trying to point out what I am struggling with but they don't seem to have any answers beyond "exercise, good sleep, etc". Personally I have dabbled in meditation and studied some Buddhist philosophy which has helped answer some existential questions I had, but I get that sort of thing is not for everyone.
11:53 I felt that. I keep having this thought that "we are all alone in this world" but ironically the very thought of thinking that proves we are all connected in our experience, we just don't know because we tend to keep it hidden within.
Your videos are very fascinating and insightful - I hope you keep putting out new content.
I'm doing much better now, thank you for being worried. I hope the same for you as well since you've searched more than I have for a therapist that understands, that you find one that is actually helpful. I agree that the best remedy is to just 'do' things but it's difficult doing when Ni is constantly nagging in the background 😅
I’m quite a bit older than you and unfortunately still loop and loop with decisions and feelings. It’s just who we are. Just pick a direction, in my case usually a baby step, and know you can change if it’s not the right one. Btw, be careful about just quitting your job if that’s your main source of income, without having something else lined up, or you’ll have a whole bunch more problems and decisions to deal with. Thanks for sharing, it helps the rest of us INTJ’s to get to know ourselves better 🙏
I appreciate the feedback and concern and there's definately new problems to deal with because of that decision 🙃
First of all, i am so sorry to hear that! Suppose you don't struggle with this anymore, but if you do...
As a entp, looking at this, my biggest recommendation is to journal. It is the think that all fi types benefit from. Every day before going to bed, write down what you feel about everything that happened that day. Just feels. After 3 months to a year, read your journal back. See what you did that made you happy, and see what you did to make you sad. What thing made you the most happy? Can you replicate that? How can you regularly work towards happiness? Note, one underused skill is that fi keeps people safe. It doesn't just keep you safe, it keeps people safe. High Fi users are making values so they ultimately can help others. When you help yourself and others, you feel the best. So keep doing this, and maybe get out there somewhere to help others. Don't fret, you will make mistakes at first, but you will see tremendous value in doing something that matters (in a value sense).
Thank you for the concern and the advice ENTP! I'm no longer in the loop but will consider jounaling when I am. It's nice to see an ENTP that's openly willing to engage with Fe online ❤
Even though I'm an isfp I can 100% relate to everything you said, the fi ni loops often means for us to overanalyze situations in order of how we feel and delays us from making decisions. I also agree with the therapist thing, being super introspective has helped me realize that only I can fully understand myself, like it or not, however living in our heads so much and ignore our second cognitive function will always keep us away from "ourselves" by being in that stupid loop. Thanks for the video and I hope you're doing better now!
I'm doing a lot better now, thank you for the concern! I actually never considered the reverse (fi-ni loop) and it's somewhat refreshing knowing that there's another type that can understand. Looking back, it has always been my ISFP friends that have helped me the most when I was in a loop. Ya'll are great people ❤
Thanks, John! This describes what I'm going through. I'm currently in the loop. Well, I haven't realized it until I watched this. This isn't the first time I've been in the loop. But I feel so stuck. Thanks! This has been real help 💙
You'll get through it, we always do ❤
@@justcallmejon22 Thanks! 🙂
Thank you Jon! You just don't know how much you helped me from watching your videos.
You're not alone, my friend ✊🏼
When you said this 10:10-onwards, I have never felt so understood until those words came out of your mouth. The worst part is that you know where one fails and cant take back what has happened even if you did your best in those brief moments to prevent or protect yourself from it... I really don't know how to feel about losing a loved one because it sucks... all your plans and moments, thrown out to the window, and along with it things that one used to enjoy. That when I come back to the things I thought brought me joy, brought me pain because I dont know if to feel happy about doing that after x or y thing happened. That Ni and Fi loop drags one down and the moment if feels a second wind and Te starts to wind up and align with Fi and Ni... there's only keep yourself going until it culminates at some point. I find that spending time with a friend that has Ne helps me open up because they in all their words they bring novel things and keeps my head and feelings busy to what they want to and feel motivated to go along and optimize their goals... because I want them to be happy too as well as myself. But being in that loop it feels like even breathing is a chore, because nothing new gave me purpose. I wanted to know that the thing I engage and devout myself will be this wild ride at sea but... i find it boring shallow waters and overwhelming violent storms. My experience in therapy has been, you can do it... I know I can... but like you said... I don't know how to feel about it. Specially after losing someone that I wish they stayed in my life, I sometimes go on automode and really don't mind missibg out. Its like what we need is to be pulled out from our home out of some kind of disaster or problem to give so I can work my brain to give solutions. Its fun to think of possible solutions... but you kno. The common is that people like to be herd, not to find solutions to their problem. I remember one time fighting an INFP friend who wouldn't stop because what she really wanted is me telling her I don't want to be her friend so she feels guilt free and the victim. When really all I was telling her is that my reaction was not related to her as a person, simply I didn't want to hang with people who have hurted me in the past. It hurted me, because that was the very reason I wanted to avoid. But I understood that I had to cut my losses before things went south any further. So I gave her the bone. At the same time a friend/love interest committed suicide because I wasn't able to respond appropriately because of how overwhelmed I felt about the situation. I told him I'll see him tomorrow, to get some rest. When he asked to see me that day. I feel like... trying to be fair when things are unfair causes more detriment to my relationships and overall well-being because what's the point of helping people when you only have so much to expend. So far im just dragging myself day in and out till something comes along to swoop me off from the experiences I've had so far.
Thank you for opening up and being so honest. My condolences for your lost loved ones and I hope you find closure if you haven't yet. I know all too well how you're feeling even with having to disconnect with a friend you once held dearly. You're not alone my INTJ sista, you're never alone ✊
Thank you for making all of these videos. As you said, it makes me feel heard even though you aren't listening. It's kind of odd really. I find that getting help (even though I hate admitting that to myself) from an ENTP or any Ne dom really helps me when I am in an Ni - Fi loop. It feels as if they pull you out of a hole. Questioning why you think it is hard and really breaking it down for you even though they might not even realize what they are doing. It just comes naturally to them.
Happy to hear that you found your outlet through Ne doms! I tend to turn to Te doms when I'm in my loop so give that a try if the ENTP route isn't working. I agree that it is a bit awkward at first feeling like you're heard from a person you never met but that's the beauty of being human, connection can happen almost anywhere. I hope you're not in your loop at the moment and if you are, this too will pass. You got this INTJ ✊
@@justcallmejon22 It is funny/odd to see your own writing style and way of processing information being done by someone else! Thank you for the encouragement! I am so grateful to have a mother who is also an INTJ and we relate so much in our way of thinking. I can't imagine not having that, but that is where the internet has its place for us INTJs.
Even though one of the best things I know, is listening and trying to understand other people's minds and views on the world, it gets lonely sometimes never finding yourself in others. And others never being able to relate your Ni - Fi loop struggles. I am fortunately not in a loop right now, but it feels like I have this existential crisis at least one a week if not once a day, haha... Not very funny.
I am starting UNI soon and I am scared of losing myself. "Losing my mind" and forgetting the real reason why I am there. I am scared of forgetting that the true reason I am there is to learn and enrich my mind, not to obsess over grades, making perfect notes, or striving after the title of "a higher education" rather than the actual knowledge. If I go to UNI for the right reasons I won't think that I have wasted my time if I drop out a year from now. Then I will have a year of that study under my belt and all of the knowledge that comes with it. I find thatit gets way to easy to focus on the titles and labes of others rather that the knowledge that they hold and can teach you regardless of title.
One of the worst things that I really NEVER want to happen is that . I cry almost thinking about it, haha. I never want to become entangled in the titles of people or my own status in relation to them that I see their understanding and knowledge as lesser. Even If I get a fancy degree I never want to look past the generations worth of knowledge in the common man. I never want to become so pretentious that I think my thoughts are better or more worthy than others because of some fancy posh manmade title. I want to be viewed only based on my mind, my merit, my work, and my thoughts.
I am so sorry, I didn't mean to make such a long rant! I lost myself in my thoughts a bit there. xD Have a great day and keep up the good work! It means a lot. I am thinking of starting a TH-cam channel myself but IDK. Maybe I will maybe I won't. I just want to share my thoughts on topics and break down the labels of "good" and "bad" and perhaps help people look at them through a clear lens Playing a kind of devils advocate I guess.
This was such a wonderful video Jon, thank you so much 😊
It's so weird how you speak so abstractly yet I can perfectly relate. Crazy INTJ aura.
I hope it helped 🙂
Well done. INTJ and I truly understand
Oh.
Im going through an ugly divorce from someone that kept me mentally disabled, cognitively impaired, for their own comfort for 14 years. I'm suddenly facing a massive amount of options and a future of so many possibilities. I have all the answers, know the best routes and even have a solid understanding of where i can shift to explore other life paths. I've been barely functioning. I think you just gave me the key.
I went through it.... Read my comment. You'll feel like a new person, more than you expect, when this hell is over. 😊
I already do in some ways. It can be overwhelming. I can only imagine how much more accurate that will be when it's over. Thank you
I hope things work out in your favorite, my fellow INTJ ✊
That’s made me understand myself more.I’m not a heartless person. I’m just a human being who I am.
The best gift you can give to the world is your authentic self, my INTJ sister ✊
All those thoughts in the beginning of the video are still true for me. However, as long as I'm doing something, I'm able to get out the loop. Exercise has been the biggest help for me in that regard.
I try not to let insecurity and failures drag me down to nihilism and pessimism, but it still happens.
I don't know if I'll ever be able to relate to others in a meaningful way, but I'm definitely getting better at dealing with life the older I get.
One of the truths that I had to realize is that each person has their own definition of "relating" to someone and it's unfair to push our own version onto someone else. It definitely comes with time and I'm glad that you found that exercising helps you ✊
I got depression when I was 26, always struggling about social relationship.
I had a tough time to connect with people, feeling so disconnected and not being understood. Meanwhile I found myself difficult to articulate my thoughts and feeling.
however, I was so lucky that I met a counsellor who bought me MBTI test. After finding out I am an INTJ, I felt so relief .. and everything suddenly made so much sense. And I feel so bad that there is a lot of INTJ have been suffering depression and/or in their hard life but hardly to find people to accept and understand them.
Now I am social worker, rendering counselling to people. My personal vision is to help and support introverts and INTJs, accepting their nature and the difficulties they are facing within their loop, telling them is okey to be like that, there is nothing wrong with being an introvert, and telling them to be proud of being as an INTJ.
On behalf of all introverts and INTJs out there, thank you for choosing that career path. It's definately needed 🙏
i just start tearing up because i can relate so so much when you said "why am i so weird" If i could win a dollar every time someone called or refer to me as being weird i would be a billionaire already 😂 but joke aside being called weird so many time start to make me questioning myself all the time what did i do wrong, why am i like this. I can't really find the answer to this and i don't think i could ever. But it mean so much to know that it's not just me that feel this way about myself. I just wanna shout out and give fellow INTJs who have the same struggle a big big hug, we all deserve that.
Appreciate the hug and it really is nice knowing that we're not alone in our feelings 🙂
Oi! This guys got it. You know mostly when people talk about depression, they say how they weren't able to stand up from the bed, how they were neglecting their day to day care etc. and nobody mentions going on the autopilot. I think nobody even noticed. While someone sometimes think I'm sad or upset when I'm really not. You're the first. I believe in the therapy, just not for me. I either overcome it with my own strenght or I don't deserve to win. No one is going to solve my problems because I'd feel like a failure. And if I feel like a failure, I'm depressed so it makes no sense to continue the spiral. I may have use for others along the way and be grateful for their participation, because that's what it's going to be, but I will not ask them specifically to do so. Also I'm I the only one who didn't give a fug about the pandemic?
I'm only about halfway through, but I'm feeling so sad for you that you have not yet found a therapist with whom you feel connected. I was so blessed to have a therapist in my mid-to-late teens who taught me how to slow my mind down and actually process some emotions. It's really giving me a leg up in life. And the more I learned about INTJ and our confusion with our own emotions, the more I realize how blessed I am to have been given that training so early in life.
Now I've also had a couple therapist here and there that just really couldn't understand the complexity of me. I think they are probably great therapist for the masses, but not this quirky bird!
But for me the best therapist were ones that believed I had my own answers inside of me and they were good at asking me questions to lead me to find those answers
I'm always happy to hear from other INTJs when ya'll find a therapist that helps. It really is like dating where you have to go on a few to find the right one. I'm in a better place now but I appreciate the empathy 🙏
Very helpful, I felt the same about therapy but it's nice seeing another intj say the same it only confirms my suspicions
I do wish we were wrong, that therapy is just as effective for us as other people. Life would be so much easier if it were 😭
@@justcallmejon22 hopefully that'll change one day ☺️
Ty for sharing this with everyone because I struggle in the same ways but don't usually understand why
You're not alone ✊
Oh, that what it is... Thank you for sharing even if it was year ago and may be not that aftual, but it's actual for me and I tried to search so hard to find an answer like... why i feel so off or different, well even among INTJs, sometimes too sensitive or emotional when I even don't understand why and onky way i can exolain it is that I sleep not enough which obviously also can be a reason, or I lack of a vitamin D and some others which is quite needed in my country to take care of and that also explains much more why even though no matter how much of times I check difference between the cognitive functions and i still feel that Ni-Te-Fi-Se fit me the most from all of this, but i feel more like sometikes too emotional or too upset, triggered and so on. Thank you for the video... even though I think for me it's better to not think I have a depression until it's approved by specialists who knows in this subject much more than I do and who could help me more than I do, because I don't know how to solve this problem for years already. But I keep going and at least found some... "goal"?.. or purpose to live for living, not just for existing simply because I'm here. Uh, I don't know why I'm talking about it here, I know people don't really like to read others problems, it's bust that I don't know anymore where to even write ny thoughts, they may be sometimes too overwhelming, my apologies. Perhaps I shouldn't write everytjme my thoughts in comment sections just because they're open, lol, I need to learn how to control this.
Thank you Jon. For your videos, for sharing your thoughts and deep insights.
I related to your thoughts here instantly, as well as other videos. But this one resonated drastically…I often have these depression episodes and loops where I shut the entire social world off, and work myself back up. Often it leads to controlling my diet, exercise, and the activities I spend time with.
Covid destroyed that loop, it just happened constantly, to the point even now adjusting back out of covid, it stuck, I’d act and look far more sad and depressed, although I thought I was being “chirpy”, people in my immediate and outer circles had a different perspective.
It led to very negative thoughts and thus actions/reactions, as a full system shock. After losing what was dear to my core, I decided to focus only on “being a good person” instead of the thousands of thoughts and worries.
I too felt therapy wasn’t for me, but also now more remote options, I spent countless hours (and still) to watch/listen to therapy advices, motivational and powerful/successful people speak, deep dive into personalities, stoicism, neuroscience findings, meditation, positive thinking, anything I could think of that could maybe help me be less critical to my own self.
Sounds like a straight forward gesture, but it was found after detoxing thoughts, labeling everything “good” or “bad” in my mind before placing it back into my daily life. Realizing as a kid, that’s the number 1 goal I ever really wanted. Now that I have the experience I collected, I hope to continue to work towards that umbrella goal, that I believe will lead to every decision with the intention I want. These would help with that negative zone.
INTJs have a tough time reaching out, I found writing journals addressed to yourself, voice memos, video journaling, to have helped articulate thoughts. I found smoothing also to once in while, confide with very close trusted friends, not only will they appreciate it knowing how reserved you are, you may also find deeper appreciation in the relationships you do have currently.
Life is a forever interesting question we will always reflect on, never let it stop you from being you 🫶
I'm happy to hear that you found your outlet through journaling and the rest of the systems. I didn't realize it at the time but my youtube channel is my journal that I'm sharing with the world. It really does help me to be able to express my ideas and to have my feelings validated. I hope you're in a better spot now my fellow INTJ, we'll get through this together ✊
I'm so so glad I'm not alone on this. I really struggle with trying to understand how I feel about certain situations and it gets very exhausting. I have recently been in the deepest, darkest hole, and this suffering has led me to at least just try to accept who I am. I hope you're doing okay, and if not I hope you appreciate the small things in life. A little goes a long way.
I'm a lot better now, thank you for asking 🙂. I'm also happy to hear that this video made you feel less alone, just like what you said to me, I hope you're doing okay and appreciating the small things. You got this INTJ ✊
@@justcallmejon22 Thanks Jon! Yes, we got this 😼
From 2.24 to 3.06... I'm kinda there right now. Haven't been able to get out of this space comfortably for more than 3 years now. Every time I think I'm out, I fall right back in. Like when does it end? Why am I repeating the damn cycles??? Too many loops since 2019 and honestly, I'm over it. I'm not suicidal, neither am I proper unhappy... I'm just sad... and dissatisfied with something, a lot of things. Feels like a losing battle. And I hate that I hate it, cos it means I still don't have any control over it.
Thank you again for sharing this deeply intimate part of your discovery journey. I feel like this is my most value-adding of your videos so far, and no one has done INTJs for me like you! It feels like I am getting the 'permission' to feel all of the crazy things I feel when trying to process my emotions, or the feeling of the lack of it. Thank you.
Never ignore your feelings my INTJ sister! It took me decades to finally accept that I'm human and that feelings matter just as much as results. Take your time, feel all your feelings, actually feel them, then reach out to someone you trust when you're ready ✊
@@justcallmejon22 someone I trust? Ha! 😆
I totally can relate to this except for the faith part…
Love your content❤️
I recently learned about Myers Briggs in college and it helped me learn more about myself…
Welcome to the path of self discovery
We are so similiar. When I'm watching your videos I feel like somebody is speaking through my soul... You helped me so much to understand myself. I went through therapy too and it didn't help. I ended up more frustrated than I was before. I figured out that if I use my Te all the time I don't get depressed that much. I feel useful, accomplish things, make progress, boost my ego. But at the same time sometimes when I fail something I feel like I'm a quitessence, a definition of a failure.
It really does go against our nature when we're not being productive and that's what happens when we're in a loop. I've heard from other INTJs that therapy is great when you find one that understands you, so I hope you find one soon if you're still searching ✊
I really like your videos as it is nice to see another intj talking about sensitive/emotional things compared to all the other stereotypes. I also find it interesting how we have the same value of time based on different perspectives. I value time because i believe in the afterlife and i believe what i do now impacts it while you believe the opposite.
Misery loves company! I used to believe in an afterlife and what I miss the most about it is the comfort it brings. Whatever waits for us after this life, I'm just happy that you're engaging the world in this life ✊
Your videos are the most relatable content I've ever seen about our type 👍👍
Glad you're enjoying them brother ✊
One thing that has helped me in my depressed states is journaling daily. I just journal my thoughts and both consciously and subconsciously plan toward logical and viable solutions.
It’s interesting what you said about therapy bc I feel the same thing. The amazing thing is that with our minds always pressing towards solutions, I do believe that journaling over time helps us to clarify our thoughts, values, and beliefs. It then helps us come up with reasonable theoretical methods that can guide us out of ruts.
This has been my personal experience anyways
What exactly do you journal? Just your thoughts or do you also try to arrive to a conclusion during each journaling session? People have recommented journaling to me but I'm not really sure if that means to leave my thoughts open ended to revisited or if it means more to put my thoughts out in the real world to provide more clarity.
@@justcallmejon22 Typically I would just start out writing my thoughts without a clear solution. The logic I use is that I need to gain a sufficient level of understanding of what I’m feeling (or not feeling) so I can more effectively apply a viable remedy. In this journaling, I often answer questions like this: what am I doing? Why am I doing this? Am I content with where I’ve been and where I’m going? How do I feel about life rn and why? How do I feel about work, the people around me, myself as a person? Are there any relatable past experiences I’ve had that are similar to now? Essentially I try to express whatever comes to mind, then I pinpoint consistencies and focus on those to see if there’s a methodical way to deal with it in a way that’s in line with my vision and values. Sometimes, I pinpoint a focus point and just need to sit with it and express it a bit more before rushing towards a solution (depending on what it is). If I specifically know what may be going on, I just try to pull out all my feelings and beliefs about that thing and then analyze to see if there’s reasonable approaches that may help.
I’ve learned not to expect quick solutions (which wasn’t super easy). It can sometimes carry on longer than I think it should, but I normally gain some sort of clarity. Plus I become more self aware in the process, which is definitely good in the longterm as a human being.
Depression and depression-like states are weird and I’m certainly not a master on the subject, but that’s typically my approach.
This is crazy to stumble upon, didn't realise so many other people have this exact same way of thinking / analysing, and also how i'm not alone in finding stuff like CBT completely ineffective. I even have exactly the same views with regard to time haha.
You one of many, my friend ✊
Man this is so true for me, therapists have even insulted me and invalidated my suffering so many times...
Diagnosed with severe depression the last years and I helped myself much more, this loop get me so anytime I remember I have to stay in bed for my whole pregnancy and future cesarea (as I had a minor surgery aswell this months)
Just to think how the time is passing and I can't work and I could be doing so much for my finances and ambitions while this year happens is crazy (specially while having financial downs).
(I was just to have a cerclage to keep my pregnancy but it got risky after thats why the bedridden thing)
People around me is lightyears to understand us INTJ's and we seem "negative" and closed off in the loop, but everything about the other's I understand so well.
Also I feel the problem is not to have a problem, but to have to wait for long before solving it! As I'm used to get things done efficiently so fast, logically and cost effective.
But anyways, lets keep the patience and toughness we in the path to make much more than others dare to.
Sincerely, INTJ.
Thank you for your response! I never even considered how pregnancy affects an INTJ, especially one that has complications. You're not alone INTJ Queen, it really is an ackward situation to be in when people tell you to seek therapy only to be told by a therapist that there's nothing wrong with you. The INTJ community is here for you, just remember that you're not alone ✊
@@justcallmejon22 I appreciate alot the input and support, thank you so much.
I'm trying to write this as I'm listening, because I have so many thoughts.
1) You're not alone. Thank you for the video, it gives me hope. But also, you're not alone.
2) For my depression episode (1.5 years) the way I would say it is I felt like I had no plans or wishes, but I was living life along the lines of who I was before the depression and what she wanted. Like working off of someone else's homework. Afterwards I would look back and say 'I wonder why I never finished that book in two years... oh, that's right, I forgot I had wanted to.' I finished it a month ago. I agree about pivots. I didn't feel I wanted to do things, but putting myself in a different environment at work, for better or worse, made me really angry (they were really disorganised and it wasted time and time is important to me too). And that pushed me and created new motivations for me. It got better from there.
3) 100% with you on therapy. I had 4 months where I tried various therapists (AXA and BetterHelp) to fix the depression. Went full throttle. Some were bad, some were just not good at ID'ing the issue. As you say, I completely agree that I feel I'm more familiar with myself and I've been through the steps than they have.
4) Also on the job, I quit my job seven weeks ago and woke up halfway through the notice period at 3:30 AM in the middle of a panic attack wanting to crawl out of my own skin. Completely future-based, and fueled by my uncertainties. It was the first time it happened, it paralised me, and the fact that I couldn't power through/smother it with logic scares me. My sister managed to talk me down. It's 3 and a half days later and the one thing that moved the dial has been that I received interviews - proof as it were, of hope. Talking with an understanding friend helps. Looking at retiree advice also helps. When the anxiety chills it swings into depression.
3.a) I would caveat this by saying it could be a cultural thing. When my mother looked for a therapist, it fit me a lot better - time will tell. I don't want to minimise this. I completely agree that modern therapy doesn't work. This one, mine, she's atypical... nosy. Pushy. It might not work long term. But she's good at making me feel seen.
5) About feeling seen and looking at other INTJs. I'm coming at this with the luxury of already having your channel and a handful of other INTJ / MBTI works. Hearing first person experiences is a huge help.
Thank you for providing your story. People take for granted the power of connection especially when it's during difficult times. I'm glad that you found a therapist that speaks your language, it really is difficult to trust someone when you feel like you're not being heard. I'm hoping for the best for both of us my fellow INTJ, the world can be a cruel place but I believe that there's nothing that an INTJ can't conquer with proper planning and perseverance.
I was chuckling most the time of this video, because how I know most of the things you were talking about! I just know why you came up with this video for others, after being able to head up from your hole of loop.
I'm going through all of the Ni-Fi loop and Se grip things right now. I know I'm going to dedicate my life where I decide to put my efforts in. (And also know that I'm going to be successful)! No one would find any logic behind this 'knowing'. No one would ever understand if I already knew that I'm going to be successful wherever I decide to put my efforts, then why I am depressed and feeling like paralyzed these days of visible uncertainty.
... Oh, and I think that therapy helps in some ways: even though you are in the loop and paralyzed as hell, talking out loud about your Te-solutions can be like a massage. I don't have a therapist right now and even trying to manage one is looking like a wastage of time. - You know, 'the loop', right?
The loop sucks so I empathize with what you're going through right now. I have the same suggestion for everyone in the loop, feel all your feelings. Don't analyze them, actually feel them. Therapy is definitely a path towards getting out of your loop but I find being around high Te users to be more beneficial because they don't tell you what you want to hear, they tell you what you need to hear. I hope you get out of your loop soon, I'm rooting for you ✊
Depression had its grip for 11 years of my life. It fully reared it's head in junior year of high-school when I was tasked with a history assignment assigned titled "Know Thyself". A double spaced 5 paged assignment that tasked you with self reflecting and examining oneself. The premise being that in order to assess and define the world you must first know thyself. Thyself being a subject matter only you can master and highest worthwhile pursuit dating back to ancient Greek philosophy origins. I was already going through those avoidance loops and the self destructive habits. The outer world had me believing that there was something fundamentally wrong with myself.
Fast forward 11 years it wasn't until I underwent a 5 week ketamine therapy that I finally felt a reset in my brain. The drug didn't give me any singular moment of radical insights (or if it did, it has lingered on a more subconscious level). Instead, it's helped me see things in life in greater appreciation of detail. Something we INTJs often miss is stopping to smell the flowers.
The best way to summarize my view of life after ketamine is: things that once seemed singularly pointed such as the apex of a roof seem more beveled. What is the angle of the edges of the shingles where there come to the point? What imperfections do the two meeting shingles have? Etc.
What I want to say that I firmly believe that as humans we are all creations made from the image of God. I don't have to lean on my own imperfect understanding, God is just and omnipotent. I challenge you that if you ever feel depressed for not seeming purposeful that you consult the engineer, the Creator, for your understanding and sought after knowledge. Is it not he whom had the mind for a reason for your individualism? Proverbs 19:21 You can make many plans, but the LORD's purpose will prevail.
We know from Genesis 1:27 that we were created in the image of God. This passage also reveals that God wove us together in the womb. We are, therefore, not a product of randomness or nature, but of God's omnipotent handiwork. God crafted each person in his or her mother's womb to be a distinct individual. We owe our existence to Him and not to happenstance
Glad to hear that you found your way out ✊
ENTP guy here, Even though this is the second video that I watched repeatedly more like 6 times, YOU MADE ME CRY so much realizing that I DO care for my INTJ friend.
I know that giving space to each other is nice but things like this made me want to understand him more. I cried when he told me that
"Thanks for staying by my side"
To be honest, I don't know what the fuck does that mean? LIKE I am always there why did you say that? I am talking to you constantly in class because I care for you as a friend. But watching your video made me rethink that this is so much deeper.
Your physical presence means a lot more to your friend than you will ever know. Thanks for caring of him for us ❤️
Am INFJ and I can see the same in terms of lack of help and support. But I found the "cognitive diamant" and use that to recognize what emotion that affect my actions and/or thoughts and then I try and change it to a positive. Once you learn to tie emotions to an action, a though or an emotion it becomes a bit easier to recognize them. And when I cannot stop the thoughts I have added meditation and breathing exercises. I hope this can help you ...
Thank you for the recommendation! A lot of people have recommended meditation and I'm slowly working my way into having that as part of my lifestyle.
I think I practice something similar. Inability to feel comfortable when in a social environment (including work), and if I get too many mixed "reads", I have to ground myself with an ACTUAL sensation instead of the "what if" aspect of the loop... unconsciously.
In a bad state, we see what can go wrong, but in our better state we name what we feeling and resolve it by seeing is it actual... not likely/unlikely
Im 14 and I’ve been in this loop for my whole life
Life gets better. INTJs really do bloom with age.
D. All of the above. Yes. I will loop going indefinitely not making decisions- until they are moot points. If I do decide, it's almost impossible to follow through due to constantly reevaluating. I live by lists. I've been operating with high functioning depression for two decades. If I didn't have lists I must do- I would probably be homeless or dead. It's horribly frustrating to be able to figure out almost anything or achieve anything- but I can't get out of my own way.
A side note- you don't seem weird to me at all. You seem honest as though this channel is your therapy. A way to figure yourself out with other INTJ's doing the same.
It really is therapeutic to put these videos out but I'm glad I do since it seems to be helping others 😅
NEVER make decisions based off of your emotions. Ever.
Sadly I can relate most of the stuffs you said. I badly want to get out of this loop. I am scared. I know I don't have much time and will punish myself in the future after getting out of this loop, because just like you do. I pushed back all of my projects. I always wake up unmotivated in life. Like everything's worthless. I have decided to cut my communication with my boyfriend to focus more of myself (because I don't want to be a burden to him, because he has been working hard so much, don't want to give him more stress.) Family problems are piling up. Just like you despite in this loop I can still function very well. I can still guide my parents in this family problem... doing all the plans and crucial decisions despite being the youngest in the family. I am just distracting myself these days, procrastinating, self loathing, irritation, grief for the recent death of my loved one... the worst depression I have ever had.
Sounds like you're having it pretty rough right now fellow INTJ. I'm not going to tell you how to deal with your loop so all I want to say is that you're not alone. INTJs need time to figure out our Fi values and once that's figured out then we'll be the effective and efficient person again. Spit your theories to other Te users (dom/aux), it's ususally the best way to get out of it. I'm hoping you the best and don't forget that you're never alone INTJ ✊
wow. This was so helpful. For years i thougt im an infp cuz of my results at the tests. Im really shocked rn and dont know what to say but the more i think about it the more it makes sense to me.
I hope you get out of the loop soon, my friend ✊
The best example of this that I can come up with is picking a DVD out of my collection of films to watch. I get paralyzed trying to make the perfect choice. The choice of movie that encapsulates everything I'm looking for.
That's how I feel about music 🙂
I've recently left the loop, I decided to get back to grinding at the gym, and I'm pursuing my goal for this school year.
I was doubting my own capabilities, if I'd be able to continue with my goals, I felt lost.
I fell into some kind of depression, I was ditched by my friends for the dumbest and most obviously fake reasons.
I realised that this was a blessing in disguise, this meant no one could disturb me anymore, I'm alone and I can pursue what I want without anyone in my way.
So now here I am.
Sucks to hear about your situation with your ex-friends and I agree that it's probably a blessing in disguise. I'm glad you found your way bro ✊
@@justcallmejon22 Thanks ^^
@@justcallmejon22
I have a question, can one have more than one Mbti type?
I don't really think so but here's what I do think:
I believe in part the theory that suggests that we have all 8 cognitive functions but that the four first are those that we use during almost 100% of the time, but it can happen for instance, in my case, beeing and INTJ, that I tap into Ti or Si.
If I had two types they'd prolly be INTJ and ISTP.
I possess characteristics from the both but I have more in common with the INTJ.
The thing is, though, that my Ni often clashes with some form of Ti, and same goes for Te and Si.
I've been researching thoroughly the topic, the individual functions in detail and the way they work.
At face value I don't seem like quite the intuitive guy, but that couldn't be further from the truth, I mean I don't blame anyone because I'm almost always unaware of my Ni, it just... works.
I also don't seem organised, my room can be qualified of a mess, however, it's what I call an organized mess, things aren't just randomly placed, they're put there for the sake of efficiency, same goes with scheduling, it seems like I'm just randomly resting and sleeping between random timings, but they're quite precise. I just organise my time in an odd way, to be more awake.
When it comes to Fi, there's no doubt I have that, but definitely not as a dominant or auxiliary function.
Finally, there's Se, idk how to explain this but I can't bring myself to understand how I use it, but I do ?
I have a very good sense of observation and Se helps me recall a great amount of my memories when my Ni fails.
So I think I just wrote this whole thing to explain to myself how I most definitely do not have 2 mbti types and it's just my lack of understanding of the correlation between the cognitive functions from the Ni to Se dynamic and the Te and Ni dynamic aswell which made my consider that hypothesis (or theory).
If you read through the whole thing thanks, please tell me what you think about the matter, I need to understand the whole concept, I don't seem to have a full grasp of it.
Thank you for sharing, I know this struggle too.
You're not alone brotha ✊
it is really a good idea to make this vid it explained a lot and now things are clear at least i know this loop is an actual struggle
✊
Thank you so much for this Jon.
You're welcome. I hope it helped 🙂
@@justcallmejon22 It did. I’m an older INTJ, 49. I had a partner for 15 years, and we separated amicably a few months ago. Being an INTJ I’ve always found it hard to build networks and connections outside that relationship. Now that I’m alone again, I’m more exposed to the challenges of being an INTJ, few friends, often misunderstood and the rest. I feel the weight, the burden, at times of being someone who is so in their head all the time. Also, the INTJ relentless pursuit for self improvement and self actualisation can be so tiring at times.
I was revising for my exams and had to write an English essay. I had no problems writing those before, in fact I loved writing essays... but that day... i just stared at the question, i knew i had to get it done in an hour, but i just couldn't start because i didn't like the topic, and i was afraid to start as i felt that if i didn't like the topic, it wouldn't be a good enough essay, i got frustrated and concluded i didn't want to write that essay because i wasn't in the mood... it was one of the worst things i had felt. Thanks for this video.
It's a weird feeling when Fi finally catches up, I understand 🙂
Thank you for making this video, I too have gone through at least 4 therapists in the last 3 years. Maybe it helps for a few days, but the underlying issue is never solved. Every "solution" provided is always to deal with the symptoms, rather than the source of the problem. I don't want coping mechanisms, I'm looking for solutions! (>.
I hope you get through it sooner than later brotha. You're not alone ✊
I dont mind what others might say i enjoy living in my imagination and create what i imagine.Lonely might feel when you understand that you are not for everyone out there and that is ok.My difficulty most of the times is when i see the potential of someone and find it difficult to exept the reality with is far away from what i see in others
You don't know how much your videos help me and I'm sure many other INTJs like me.. To know the reason why I behave like a distinct way, or that it's not just me, that I'm not a whacko... I can also relate to you about the therapy.. I was once taking help in my college years.. My parents make me go... But all those questions they were asking I was feeling like I knew why it as asked, I knew if I answered this option, they will predict this about me, If I answered the other option they will predict that about me.. Like I already know what they are doing... Or the suggestions they gave me, I already tried or at least thought of that I can do this & this will be the result... got nothing helpful out of it...
I'm happy to hear that my videos are beneficial to your personal development. It's a shitty situation for INTJs since modern-day psychology isn't made for us. I acknowledge your frustration, you're not alone ✊
This is so so helpful!! I'm so happy I found your channel!
Thank you for watching!
Therapy doesn’t help. Exacte same experience as een ENFP. I see the tick boxing and boxing me up into a known problem for the therapist. I know what to do. But never got the strength to do it. Not much questions asked. Suddenly the session stops and i get stated as healed because I’m a natural happy person. The I don’t know how I feel about is a great eye opener. Thank you.
I hope you found your way ENFP! If you haven't, I'm sure an INTJ is willing to help if you have one in your life ✊
As an INTJ I have seen several therapist and I always teach them stuff they end up using for other patients. They compliment and tell me I am too hard on myself. And obviously if that was the case I wouldn't be in a therapist office
I'm beginning to see a trend that a lot of therapists aren't able to access the same depth of understanding as Ni users are. I'm not saying all of them have that issue, I'm just saying that I empathize with your pain brother ✊
I don't know if I'm depressed because I've never been to therapy (in fact, I'm afraid to show people what I'm like inside, I feel that to be successful I have to keep everything about myself a secret). I'm 18, almost 19, INTJ, I grew up in Switzerland and last year I moved to France for my final year of secondary school.
That moment was the beginning of my vicious circle.
I had always planned my life in Switzerland (I had planned everything until my 28th birthday), I have this obsession with success and I knew that I didn't have much time to be successful because of the short time I would be on earth, so I planned my entire life when I was 12 yo. Moving to France destroyed everything I'd planned. I did my baccalaureate with the best mention you can have, I'm now at an engineering school, but I'm in a worse stage than ever. I thought these studies would make me happy again, but nothing is the same. I don't see the point of most of the things I do, so I don't work, I still get better grades than almost everyone in my school, but there is this lack inside me, this lack of meaning. I don't know what I'm doing, I don't know why I'm going to this school, but I'm trapped, I can't stop, but I can't go on like this, and even though I've tried, there's nothing I can do about it. My energy is getting lower every day, my will to wake up too, but I have to go on. I have to behave normally around people, I have to be so good at hiding who I am that everyone thinks I'm happy and well, I have to achieve everything in life, because if I don't, I don't know what I'll do.
The trap I'm in consumes me every day, like I'm burning from the inside, I've tried to analyse everything about myself, about the world around me, about people, but it's only made me feel worse, like I have bugs in my head and it's going to explode. I have the feeling that I'm not even connected to this world, like I'm the mind controlling my body, like you're controlling a player with a keyboard and a mouse, I still get up, I still eat (the minimum to stay alive), I still go to school, but without any will or meaning, I just have to. Why? I don't know, and it makes me sick. But THE thing that drive me crazy, is that I litteraly have EVERYTHING to be happy, there is so many people that would be so happy being me, but not me, and I don't get it.
You don't need to answer if you don't want to, it just feel a bit great to write it down
Don't worry young INTJ, Uncle Jon is here and I respond to every comment! It sounds like you are going through INTJ depression and I understand what you're going through because I went through something similar when I was your age in college. I didn't decide on my major until I was 26 years old, and that's after I took a break from college. I originally took classes in psychology but something about it didn't click for me. I then chose engineering after being an Electronic Technician in the military for a few years, but I wanted to cry taking midterms thinking that this is now my life. What I was also doing during that time was taking business courses not because it was required but because it was interesting and fun for me. Right after one of my finals, I went to the counselor and told them I'm changing my focus at 26 to business and I loved it ever since.
It's difficult for any human being to decide on a profession that can potentially span the rest of their life and it's extremely difficult for INTJs because we're Ni doms and planning is the most normal thing for us and yet we're missing so much information to make a decision. I'm not telling you what you should do but I do want to provide the best advice that I received from a very influential ENTP in my life. He told me, "Keep doing something until it's not fun anymore. At that point, go find something else. Life is too short to do something you hate."
Lastly, be around friends and family that care about you and enjoy the moment. You're still human and you need to enjoy life. You also learn more about yourself when you meet other people and gain more life experience. Good luck young INTJ, just remember that your decisions are never wrong if you think it's the best decision for you ✊
@@justcallmejon22 Thank you very much for your answer, I think I will talk to my parents and try to change my major, I have some ideas of what will make me happy, I don't want to live with regrets, so I will try!
Have a nice day, thank you again for taking the time to answer my message, it's very kind of you, it feels great to feel understood by people that think like me.
I have recently relased that I am an INTJ just because the questions of most of the tests relied on understanding your own feelings and thats the most difficult thing for me I always understand people more than how I understand my feelings , sometimes I knew that I could put the effort into something but when I realise that don't want to do it I end up very stressed and not even doing the thing, its my senior year and I have to get a good results to get into a good college , but I am not even intersted in medicine . That is making my progress very difficult.
I didn't fully understand myself until my early 30s so you still got time. Stay open to whatever type you might be and never ignore your feelings. You got this kiddo, life gets better as long as you continue to work on self improvement ✊
Woahhhhh! I had loooong bouts of this that got worse and worse until I finally decided to get divorced. I'd do strange things like go to the store and find myself wandering around for an hour with no actual purpose, even though I knew I had to make dinner, clean, etc. It's as if the NiFi loop was processing what I needed on some deeper level before I realized it.
I hope you're in a better place now ❤
Omg ‘i’m the burden and they are just saying that to be so nice’ is so much like me 😊
The loop is no joke 🙃
I am totally in such a loop, often. I don't have any impetus to think of the betterment of things I need to fix as nothing ever gets better and I am not insane. Therefore, I don't believe doing the same thing over and over will get a different result. The thing is, things should work but they won't, because, the people in my way do not change, do not understand me, do not believe I am capable no matter how often I prove that I am, etc. So, there are things I need to do, but which there is no value to place on them.
I understand, my INTJ sister ❤
I agree with everything you said, except for the therapy been as my brother and the same mindset. I am very convinced that being they very rare INTJ, you haven’t yet found a therapist that truly understands you and will truly absorb all the personal information they are taking in from you. You need to find another INTJ therapist that is very open minded, and intelligent like yourself. Not every psychologist is great, just like all of those that don’t accept the MBTI.
Yes, there goes my Ti. Lol -INTP
It is absolutely crazy how much you sound like me. Every single video, you and I appear have the same ideas about most everything! In this video I wanted to mention something since you bring up Jay-Z. In the Objective Personality system, I believe that JayZ and I may be "type twins" or have the exact same specific expression of the use of the cognitive functions which is MM-Ni/Fi-SC/B(P). Just throwing it out there. Thanks for making your videos. You are doing great and helpful work, even helping me fill in some gaps on things that I understand.
Glad you found it helpful. You're never alone brotha!
Okay wait so u r telling me that it's all normal, that I'm normal and that I've always been normal. Man i REALLY NEEDED TO KNOW THIS. Although i usually hate when solution to problem is covered the least but this is the first time i wanted to hear that i ain't lonely as I've been. The topics covered (like weirdness or not normal in the mass, loneliness, depression, not being understood, getting annoyed or helpless to see that i know more that someone who i asked for guidance well at least about myself) i hate being categorized into something because their categories are very vague. But nevertheless I'll try to study more about this. Thanks, i really needed this. Glad to know I'm not alone, really.
I hope you get to a better place soon, my friend ✊
I feel this.. all my therapist end up wanting to be friends.. and openly admitted they are not sure how to help me because ‘I’m too smart’ .. sigh.
The bittersweet tragedy of being an INTJ 🙃
I never respond to videos. But this was awesome for me. Thanks.
You're not alone brotha ✊
I know you don't believe in God but you are loved by him and always will be. You are this unique way for a reason. And it's because the world needs it.
Thank you for this video, it was very helpful. Yes psychology does not help everyone.
Thank you ❤