As someone who gets called "brave" all the time because of my disability, I completely understand what you mean there. I'm the person who posted that Instagram post on you a few days ago about finding you inspiring, and this video just completely solidified that for me. What an amazing, uplifting, open video. Thank you 💜
I preformed cpr on a 14 year old kid. Everyone says I should be proud of that but i'm not. I just did what needed to be done. The kid has survived without brain damage. I just didn't really survive... I took a really bad turn mentally and i got ptsd from it. It took a really long time to get better but i am doing better now. I'm proud of myself to eventually get treatment for the ptsd. It wasn't fun but it was what i needed.
My positive story is that I was diagnosed with SVT when I was 17. I had 2 small heart operations and was then diagnose with Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome. It got worse, and left me unable to work. I had lost all hope. I then started a business from my bed - Wildest Dreams Book Box; a monthly subscription box for YA lovers. And my business is thriving. I couldn't be more proud of what I've achieved, and in something I love talking about.
Hey, I have POTs too, and I've thought about starting a business from my bed before but I never really know how to go about it... do you have any tips? also I'm gonna go check out Wildest Dreams Book Box as it sounds so awesome! I'm proud of you, and it's wonderful that you have something so amazing to talk about and have a business for.
@@infinitelithium Hi, fellow PoTsie! I worked on the idea first; it was more of a pipe dream at the time. How I wanted it to look. The audience. The price. I started advertising months before to get a platform. I started off with low numbers so that if it flopped, I wouldn't lose too much. I was already a book blogger and booktuber, so I already had contacts in the publishing world. And thank you so much, that's so lovely of you to say 💙 My Twitter is @zcollins1994 and my Insta is @zoecollins1994 if you wanted to talk more about it x
I admire your courage, the courage u had to force out of yourself to persevere thru. Well done. I also have POTS, maat cell activation, dysautonomia (body can't regulate blood pressure, heart rate basic normal levels of blood sugar, etc), cervical instability Chiari malformation, ehlers danlos syndrome both hypermobile and classical, a connective tissue disorder that is reosonibke for over 50 serious symptoms. Gastroparesis, leaky gut syndrome, IBS, two stroke by 34 & now I'm recovering from surgery, day three. I am in so much pain I want to claw my own eyes out and can't take painkillers either. My point is, this messes w ur mental so badly, that you just are not the same after you're done. I'm so done w surgery! And I bet u are too!
I'm a student mental health nurse and we talk a lot about "discovery" rather than "recovery". Recovery seems to mean either getting back to who you used to be or going towards something, neither of which are that realistic or meaningful for people. Discovery is more of an ongoing process where you find out who you are now, maybe many times over. I feel you may identify with that! Lots of love, you're amazing xxx
Student mental health nurse how do like giving risperdal consta injection to female patient in buttocks every two weeks. Does student mental health nurse laugh and smile on there face when they received injection so female patient can stop PMS, sexual function, orgram function.
Two months ago I broke down in my doctor's office and confessed to the eating disorder I've had for seven years. Just over a month ago I was hit by a car while walking home. It was something I never expected would happen to me, and the recovery process with healing and catching up in school while still trying to battle my eating disorder has been the hardest thing I have ever done. This video, especially what you said about bravery being active and not realizing how incredible out bodies are, really struck a chord with me. Thank you for all that you do with your platform, you truly are a role model.
okay not to be creepy but I recognized your first name and story and so I know that's your @voldymorts on Instagram and I just wanted to say that life changes fast and it is terrfying and beautiful and I've been watching your recovery in your captions (I've had some major surgery and continued mental health stuffffff in the last year too so I Get It to some degree) and just remember that facing life is hard as hell and you're hecking winning at it by just being alive
I had 3 surgeries through my GCSE years. Managed to get 7 C's which was so proud of. Then went to sixth form and had another surgery to correct a Scoliosis. Did my A-levels over 3 years and managed to get accepted to university. Was a dream come true. My own independence and freedom. Didn't have to be the ill girl anymore, could start afresh. First year was the hardest as had to build a lot of muscles and stamina. That was the start of my recovery. I couldn't walk far. Had so much pain. Now 7 years later I go out for runs, do 10k steps a day, getting married next year, hold down a good job and living my best life. My past teenage self wouldn't have believed it as things were really tough. Same as you didn't ever think I was brave as just had to get on with it. Every day was a new day
“You’re so brave” all too often means “I can’t imagine going through what you’re going through without curling into a little ball and dying.” And I just think, No dude, you don’t understand - sometimes I WANT to curl into a ball and die, but you just gotta slog through. That’s not bravery, it’s determination. I think the sentiment is meant to convey admiration for that quality - but it can come off as “Wow, your life is barely worth living!” and that is the last thing you need to hear. Sometimes I look back on things I’ve gone through and wonder how I managed it. My “worst year” was 2010. I was hospitalized with a mystery illness that turned out to be autoimmune hepatitis. That meant I had to take prednisone PLUS another immune suppressant for an entire year, and being on prednisone long term is awful. I went slowly down in dosage but it seemed like every new dosage brought some new and terrible side effect, and because they were immune suppressants I was sick ALL the time. I had no paid time off left by May due to my hospitalization/recovery, and so I just had to go to work with whatever awful bug I acquired. I basically worked and slept. I don’t think I got out of bed on the weekends for over six months and I perfected the art of the car nap. Then at the end of the year, just after I was starting to feel slightly better - but by no means fully recovered - my best friend died unexpectedly. That became its own slog through grief and depression. I look back and I really don’t know how I managed to keep going through all of that - but you do what you gotta do. People never really know what they’re capable of withstanding until they’ve gone through the fire.
WOW, thank you so much for posting this! I'm going through steroid treatment as well as chemo to suppress my immune system. I've been doing the chemo off and on for years but have been having to do it seriously to fight for my lungs for almost 2 years now. "Chemo" is a strong word that I avoided for a while but I sort of learned to embrace but that is a whole other story. Just to shorten it, they use it as chemo and I have the same reaction to cancer patients using it and it's been the best way for me to be able to quickly tell people around me what's going on. I've got mixed connective tissue and the lung part I'm fighting right now is interstitial lung disease from the auto immune collection I have. It got really bad over the summer and that is why I'm on steroids now. I hadn't been on steroids for I think 7 years and when I went off them all that while ago I said the only way I would go back on them would be if I had morphine and was hospitalized (I thought I was going to have a stroke). I had it via IV with the chemo over the summer and someone botched the order and gave me a giant dose and I'm still trying to figure out what happened. The blurred vision side effect made me go legally blind temporarily. That was the worst side effect probably. I'm on a lower dose (that I was supposed to be on earlier) and I'm still having blurred vision so I'm actually surprised I have been able to type this much. I'm just waiting for my eyes to give out! Sorry, I'm just rambling about myself and not getting to why I wanted to thank you, lol! That kind of feels like a thing in our community, though, doesn't it? We have to explain our condition to each other so the other one knows we're in the same club or something. It was not an easy decision for me to do steroids again or even chemo. When I went off chemo the last time before I started coughing up blood two years ago, I said I was never going to try another kind again and was going to take life as it came to me. It was a quality of life decision. But then my nephew was born in between. Now I'm fighting for him, too. I wasn't sure about trying steroids again, but I had literally just had a conversation where I flat out refused when he told me he is going to be a big brother. I took it as a sign and did a 180 and had another talk with my rheumatologist. One of the biggest things that helped me make the decision was one of my doctors saying, "Nobody wants to take steroids." I don't know, just having him be real like that and showing how it isn't hard just for me but for other people, too, did something. Maybe I wasn't as much of a wimp as I thought I was for reacting so badly to them? And this doctor has one of the worst bedside manners of all the specialists I see, lol! I kind of put up with him because he's the only specialist in his field I can really go to. Anyway, I've been having a really awful day with everything and then this video popped up and then your comment was there (remember my eyes, lol!) and everything was so perfect! I'm not alone!!! And that is another thing about this community: we get excited to not be alone but then I go and feel bad because I don't want other people to have to go through what I'm going through, lol! I am so sorry for everything you went through and that part about your friend really got to me. I have made friends through my whole journey (I'm in my early 30s and have medical issues my whole life but started figuring out the auto immune part as a teenager) but there comes a time when I just can't keep it up. I know they get it and the good friends are the ones that won't drop me when I can't be a good friend, but it hurts me so much to be such a horrible friend. I'm terrified that when I have to "check out" and take care of myself for however long that is, something is going to happen to one of my friends. I haven't been as close but I have known people who have died and I feel bad enough about that already. I know I can't live my life wondering "what if?" but just thinking of those I lost and have so many regrets for not trying harder to stay in touch. Something I did want to also comment on is the "being brave" part. I totally get what you and Hannah are saying and have some of the same reactions. Back to the chemo part (there was a reason I wanted to get that in there earlier!), I was watching wig videos here on TH-cam earlier and a couple times I would comment on a video or another person's comment and right away people would say, "You are brave!!!" I kind of froze and didn't know how to react. I kind of thought, "You just know I'm on chemo, you don't know anything about me . . . " Not like I took it as an insult or anything, I was just kind of confused. I thought about it a lot (we have too much time with our thoughts, lol!) and I kind of wonder if some of it is trying to build us up? Well, obviously, I'm pretty sure they do mean it as a compliment of some kind. But I heard about the law of attraction and I was wondering if there was something like that going on. If we hear we are brave enough, we will feel brave and when we are having troubles we will remember that and be inspired? So I've got a couple weeks left on this steroid course and I could be panicking and wondering how I'm going to get through it, but then if I had been told I was brave enough and it was so positively reinforced, maybe my mind will go to that positive place more often? I'm sorry, I'm not sure if that makes any sense, lol! It's actually my first time trying to write it out and my eyes are all messed up by now so I'm having trouble even seeing what I'm typing. But I'm feeling like I'm getting power from the "you are brave!"s? Sorry if this is just one huge mess and I hope I was able to connect it back to your original comment! Thank you so much for writing this and for all the people who upvoted it so I could see it right away! And thank you of course to Hannah for making this video in the first place
Dainty Brighton GIRL I feel you. I always said I'd never take prednisone (I saw it basically ruin my grandfather's health) but when the doctor says, "Take this or you'll die" that conviction disappears pretty fast. The friend I lost was the kind who was there for me no matter what - but because I was so sick in the months before she had her accident, I didn't see her as much as I normally would have and that hurts. I hope you see an upswing soon! I also have connective tissue problems and I know that can have its own issues outside of autoimmune stuff.
I relate to this completely! I had spinal fusion surgery 7 years ago to fix severe scoliosis and I’d get so frustrated when people told me I was ‘brave’. It wasn’t brave, I had to have the surgery otherwise my spine would have crushed my lungs and killed me - it was a necessity, anyone would have the surgery in the same situation!
As a 64 year old American male, it would be hard to think of a perspective more different than yours... and yet, I have felt so much kinship between my experiences and yours. Keep up the good work!
Although the illness and complications were passive, your response to it was active - choosing to push yourself with physio and the 5K. I think that is where the bravery comes in. I find it very difficult mentally to push myself with my disability and so I would view your response to what happened to you as brave because you have actively chosen not to be defined by what happened in 2018, and not to let it restrict your actions. Xx
Totally. My response when anything like that happens to me is to stay in bed and watch a lot of TV. I exercise of course but running a 5K? I can't even imagine.
I’ve just found out I have received a 1st for my degree. During my degree I got diagnosed with 2 different chronic illnesses and I was really unwell. Uni was so difficult because of it but I have done it I have passed and I got a 1st! 👩🏼🎓
i love that you totally celebrated your body and mind at the end. I love youuu!!! I have had chronic depression for half my life and I feel insanely proud that I am about to finish my master's degree in Linguistics despite having about two episodes a month which render me completely useless for days at a time.
I live in a foreign country at the moment where my native language is not the primary language, especially in the small community where I work, so everyday that I manage to use and improve my language skills to get through my daily life here is huge for me. This is my second year with this job that brought me here, and it is amazing to see how much I have grown in my language skills and my confidence since I arrived last year. I love my life here, and I am so proud of myself for all the hard work that brought me here, and also that keeps me through the process with a smile on my face.
Honestly, I hope I'm in the middle of what'll be my 'surprised at my own strength' story. I'm having open abdominal surgery in a week to get out a Large Boi cyst that's been wrecking havoc covertly for at least 6 months. I'm kind of freaking out, but I've managed to stay positive so far - it's been a whole 10 hours since I had the surgery talk with my doctor, so honestly I feel like I'm doing pretty well. In the past year I've gotten through depression and a pretty bad case of burn-out, and I have an even better support system in place now. Having watched your recovery definitely helps as well, even if our situations are different. This was a good video for me to watch today, thank you!
You are an amazing person Hannah. I suffer from an illness that can 'Hit" at anytime. Sending my body into complete chaos. No warning. Leave my house perfectly fine, 15 minutes later- on my way to the hospital. No warning. Just BAM. This has been ongoing for years. Concerts? Events? Travel? I sometimes feel fine. Sometimes get a tour of the emergency health facilities. Add in anxiety, and over time, depression, things get bad. So Positivity? Just one day at a time. Sometimes and hour at a time. Living in the present moment, and SO grateful for days without issues. It's all we can do sometimes.
Positive doesn't always mean hearts and rainbows, it means you talk about what you went through and then how you came out of it. I loved this. Very open and honest.
When I was 11, I got sick. After several months I was diagnosed with ME/CFS. I was bedbound, sleeping 23 hours a day. Since then I’ve been diagnosed with fibromyalgia, chronic migraines and colitis (they aren’t sure if it’s UC or crohn’s but they are sure that it’s one of the two). When I was 14, there was trauma that led to PTSD and an eating disorder. I started smoking weed a lot (which was great for my pain but not for my mental health). I’m now 26. I am no longer on antidepressants or any medicine for my mental health. I can walk with a walking frame usually and sometimes even without a walking frame and I have a much more normal sleep pattern. I’ve had relationships, which would have been impossible at my worst- how can you meet someone when you’re asleep 23 hours a day? I’ve got 8 GCSEs, 1 A level and 1 AS level and I did a year and a half at the Open University before I decided it wasn’t for me. I’ve taught myself spanish, guitar, ukulele and piano and I’m writing a book. I also put together a poetry anthology for charity that came out last year. I’m still unable to work but I’ve accepted that and manage to be content with my life most days. It’s taken a lot of work, physical therapy and mental therapy to get to this point. People tell me I’m brave. But I had no choice but to keep going. I was too terrified of dying to kill myself, though I often wanted to, so if I didn’t kill myself because that was too terrifying, my only option was to keep going. There were things that were a choice- keeping going with education and music and spanish, but they were a choice between watching tv all day being bored and finding something to do so I still find it weird when people call me brave.
I’m 8 years into my chronic illness journey and this video put my experience into words for the first time. Basically explained my own thoughts back to me. I can’t put into words how grateful I am. A huge puzzle piece just clicked into place and I’m smiling and crying at the same time. Much love to you Hannah.
I was born with duodenal atresia and had a surgery at four days old. Eighteen years later.... on the 31st October 2018 the world turned upside down. I was in agony, i was admitted to hospital on the 5th November to investigate me of what going on with my abdominal. So then, it was confirmed that i had adhesions. On the 14th November i had a major surgery (open), both mentally and physically post recovery. I was in tears, stressed and wanted me to go back to be an independent again. I'm now 11 months post-op, doing really well and returning to my favorite job (i returned back to work in January). I'm currently gaining my strengths back up and running again meaning i want to get fit. My mind have been all over places that this would happen again in the near future. We never know....do we? Let make most of it!! WELL DONE HANNAH!! You're doing really well xox
I understand the whole mental and physical recovery issues. I just turned 50, and so far I've had 30 surgeries and currently need #31. I've averaged one every 12 to 18 months for the last 10 years. Most are small surgeries thank goodness, but I still have to recover from them. I'm at a point I no longer worry about the surgery, that's old hat. It's the recovery that worries me. So Hannah bravery may not be the word to describe what you're going through. But you are being a badass for making it through to the other side of 2 surgeries.
This may seem not that impressive compared to other people's stories, but two years ago I went to Germany to be a teaching assistant on my year abroad and it was so hard. I was living on my own in the middle of nowhere with absolutely no one my age in the town, I had no wifi and the teachers in the school were unfriendly and did not help me to settle in at all. At the time I didn't realise how down I was, but looking back at my 5 year diary (I also keep one!) I can tell that I was just so unhappy, so I'm really proud of myself that I got through it. I'm also proud that I found a solution - I decided to move to a city nearby and even though that meant I had a 3 hour round trip each day, I knew that it was worth it.
I've lived with UC and constant flare-ups for 11 years and still have my bowel, but I'm running out of drug options and surgery is on the horizon for me. In that time, it hasn't stopped me working, earning an Honours then a Masters degree in English and generally living life as fully as I can. In fact, my health problems have probably helped me face anything else in life without fear, because any other horrible experience I've had was nothing compared to a bad UC flare-up.
You are absolutely spot on with the bravery assumption, its the same with 'you're such a fighter, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger' as the opposite suggests that those who don't make it through either were weak or didn't 'fight'. Anyway, in 2006 at the age of 20 I was diagnosed with Diamond Blackfan Anaemia, a really rare bone marrow failure disorder that is usually diagnosed in childhood. In brief, my bone marrow doesn't produce any red blood cells (amongst many other things), and since then I have had a blood transfusion every 6 weeks. I forget sometimes that not everyone has a day case admission as a routine thing. I have a full time job, a husband and live a normal every day life, being able to do that is the thing I feel most proud of. Its actually made me a better person, I'm more self aware, more considerate and mindful, but also more inquisitive and empowered to learn. As its such a rare condition it is very unlikely that I can visit a Doctor who has both experience and knowledge of the condition, so I have had to find the balance between making sure I get what I need without sounding like I am trying to undermine the professional. Its a very fine line!
Coming across these videos today has been an eye opener. I was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis when I was only 12. Growing up in small midwest America it took months of rotating doctors and trial and error to actually get my diagnosis down. I ended up have a temporary stoma for about 3 months once they removed my large intestine along with 6 inches of my small. Ended up getting a J pouch and have just been dealing with the lifestyle changes by myself as nobody here really know what I'm going through or doesn't wanna talk about it. I'm 25 now and finally realizing theres others who have similar lifestyle changes and problems they have to deal with...in a way it's comforting I guess..
So much of this video resonated for me and I am so glad you shared it. I had a total hysterectomy at the age of 26 after fighting life threatening complications from delivering my son for nearly two years. By the time I found a doctor who would listen to me, I was already dying. The surgery saved me physically, but I was in a really dark mental and emotional place for a long time. Healing from all of that DEFINITELY made me realize how strong and determined I am. Now I look back on it as a gift in disguise. I hope you continue to gain strength and healing!!
You are brave. Not for what happened to you, but to share such a personal story with the world. I don’t know if i could ever do that, and to see somebody who went through something so difficult, both mentally and physically, speak so openly about their experiences is inspirational. ❤️❤️❤️
I think a big achievement for me was pushing past my social anxiety at work and offering to help with the social media. It took so much and was really scary, but has been the most rewarding thing in creativity and in terms of taking control of my anxiety. That was a year ago, and I now lead the social media team! I’m so proud of myself for being able to push past my anxiety in that moment a year ago, and how far I’ve come since then. Thank you for this video, Hannah 💛
This video is brilliant Hannah! My story also involves two traumatic events that happened quite close together. I was in a car accident this time last year, flipped over 3 times and we were lucky to walk away. Then late Jan this year I was violently attacked on my way walking home whilst on the phone to my boyfriend. Long story short, it ended it him strangling me until I lost consciousness. I didn’t know the person. He is being sentenced this November in crown court, and I’m going to watch. I don’t know how I will be, but I think it’s something I need to do. I’m proud of myself though, I still graduated from Uni in July with a first class honours, and I was also awarded for best in my cohort for a film I made about trauma. Your videos really resonate with me because trauma; and quite frankly being a woman sometimes, is so complex and difficult. I am glad that it is spoken about and shared universally. So thank you. Thank you for helping me this year. Katie x
I have dyslexia and when I first started school I really struggled to read and write. After failing my first stats test when I was 7 I was diagnosed and given support, for which I am very grateful to my parents for noticing and pushing the school to give we the help I needed. I loved books (still do) and was determined to learn to read, when I learnt to read my first book Each Peach Pear Plum by Janet and Allan Ahlberg I read it in front of the whole school in assembly. I now have a first class BSc honours degree from the university of kent and a full time job within the field of wildlife conservation. I have come a long way since I started first started school and there were times when I really struggled and got frustrated with myself but I am proud of what I have achieved so far in my life and not let my dyslexia hold me back.
Thank you for such an inspiring video. It's so nice to hear someone talking so openly about disability. When I was 14 I was diagnosed with a brain tumour which I had removed, but it led to complications meaning I now have a shunt (plastic tube and value keeping me alive!). When I got diagnosed it ignited this weird passion to do well in my GCSEs which I was doing at the time! I managed to get 10 A* grades and I'm damn proud of myself for it. I rocked it! Life isn't completely easy now, but whenever I'm going through something I always remind myself that I got through that. Xxx
Your positive mindset is something that I want to aspire to have. I struggle with depression and have done since I was 14, and I find it so difficult to be positive on a daily basis, even for one thing that I’ve managed to achieve - I beat myself up constantly about it.
In November of 2017 I had an emergency colostomy and part of how I found you was searching for "stoma" on twitter. I wish a kept a recovery journal. I do remember in the first month that I was home after being at the hospital I would reassess and know that this week was better than the last. That's what kept me going. I need to force myself into the mindset that my body is a wonderful thing as that it has recovered from all this and now I'm back to normal. I'm still traumatised in a lot of ways I can't articulate. And I'm old; I'm 41 with two kids and a family and everything else on my shoulders that comes with it.
I had emergency abdominal keyhole surgery (appendicitis) in 2017 from witch I’m unfortunately still trying to recover. Your successive recovery process is helping me with my own very slow recovery journey. I think that by sharing your story you are giving lot’s of people hope that they can get through really though things.
I got severely ill with pericarditis in jan 2018, and am still recovering as I developed Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Chronic Pain, POTs syndrome/Inappropriate Sinus Tachycardia and IBS. It was tough, I was barely in school and lost a lot of friends and mentally I was in a bad place. My life had fallen apart, I didn't feel like a person, I wasn't able to do things I loved or just be 'normal'. My partner at the time left me nearly a year ago, which was another low point, leaving me feeling unloved and unwanted and like there was nothing I had to give in life. I was just a burden. But a year and 9 months on, I've come so far. I built up stronger connections with a couple friends and I have a strong relationship with a partner who is everything and more. I even managed to get an A Level, and now I'm working towards an AS Level, grade 8 bass guitar and grade 8 LAMDA (to build up my confidence). I can do more than a year ago, even though it doesn't feel like it. I'm able to judge my energy levels better and find ways to manage my energy and so I can actually do more. I still struggle and have bad days, but I'm mentally in a better place, and know that I can get through things. Even if it's difficult. I know myself better, and I don't think I would ever know myself as well as I do now or be in such a mentally better place if I hadn't got ill. I have support and I'm forever grateful for it, and I'm proud of how far I've come.
Have always loved your videos Hannah. A week ago I got diagnosed with a chronic kidney stone condition and told I will have to have my kidney removed. I now can''t work or do much until I have had the surgery which they said could be in 2-3 months since I am on a waiting list. I am nervous about it all but it feels like this video came at the right time and shows me that things will be okay and I will recover and feel better than I do now
Thank you for sharing about your recovery journey and thus update. It is particularly great timing for me as I am having surgery again at the end of October. Watching your videos about dealing with U.C., surgeries, and having a stoma are what always make me feel like things will be okay. I love your channels :)
Becoming a Mom made me realize how amazing I am. I grew a human, pushed her into the world, and have kept her alive for 2 whole years. On top of being a wife, and having a full time career. At the beginning I thought, how do people do this? It was much harder than I had anticipated (and I thought I was well prepared). But it has also been so much more wonderful than I anticipated. It still feels like a dream sometimes - is she really mine? I'm so grateful that I get to be her Mom, and I'm constantly amazed by the things I am able to do for her.
This is incredibly relatable - I have epilepsy and in 2016 gave myself third degree burns during a seizure, leading to a skin graft over 5% of my body. It was physically so tough but I felt incredible and so powerful and in awe of my body and what I was capable of persevering through. Then this summer, the same thing happened again - much less serious burns over a smaller area but it affected my mental health so much more - just like you said. It just felt so unfair and like my health was so far from my control and - being older this time and living with friends at the time - it felt so much more offensive to have my independence taken away from me like that. Thanks for your content, it's been so helpful to hear from another young person managing a chronic condition. While I agree it doesn't feel brave - it's just what you have to do - hearing your story has helped me feel more sure that I can get through it too.
This year has probably been the worst so far. I'm in my mid-twenties and my mum died six months ago. I would have never expected to lose her that early in my life. On top of that I went through a breakup. I'm so tired of losing people and of being strong. Nevertheless I know now how strong I am actually. Like you I know now that I can handle a lot. Life is so unfair but I'm not going to give up so there's not much you can do other than to just live on.
Well, since u asked...😋...I got chronicly ill at 25 (chronic fatigue, low immune system, chronic pain,...) was in bed most of the time for a few years. Had to stop working, my sickness- benefits were so low at some point that I couldn't pay rent anymore. Had a financial crisis, got super depressed and suicidal. Then survived a huge fire with explosions, got very bad PTSD. And many other crazy things happened in a short period... I really was so shocked of how life could look like. It felt like I was in a television soap. I liked hearing from u how u learned to live more in the moment. It reminded me to see it as a good thing as well. And not only see it as 'I can never plan anything'.
@@hannahwitton Doing better now, thank u!😊 I think the problem is that no one prepares us for bad luck in life. Parents and teachers teach us that life depends on studies, career etc. As if everything will be a consequence of good choices and hard work. No one prepares u for the possibility that illness could influence your career, that u might not be able to get pregnant and have the family u wanted. Just simply that life happens and bad luck could come your way. Maybe it's just me but I totally got a shock waking up from teletubbieland. I'm convinced things would have been easier if I was prepared better for real life with the downs included. That's why I find channels like yours so important 👏
This video could have not come at a better time! I had a bad climbing accident on Friday, and broke my ankle - I find out tomorrow if I need surgery to fix it! I'm usually a really independent and active person, I work 35+ hours, climb a couple times a week, and volunteer & I can't do any of that at the moment. I'm finding the recovery process so difficult, I have to sit with my leg raised at all times & I can't even get down the stairs of my flat without 2 people helping me, and I feel so useless, and I'm finding it very mentally not leaving the house every day, or even being able to do the chores. You've really inspired me to change my way of thinking, thank you
Hi Hannah. I have experienced the same. I had tow major surgeries ileostomy in October 2018 and ileostomy reversal in March 2019. In India generally we don't get these kind of immune disorder but to my fate I got Crohn's disease which lead to the death doors. I was hospitalized immeadiately for ileostomy surgery and survived. My parents and my wife's support is much appreciated in helping from my recovery. In India no one knows about this disease and had to suffer and it was so expensive. However I recovered and started going to work since three months. I thank God that i made through all the difficult situations
Wow. I too had a serious health crisis, ten years prior to yours (Massive stroke at 18 years old in 2008, which required two separate surgeries on my skull), and I've often struggled to adequately sum up my thoughts and feeling as well as you just did; then or now. The physical aspect, and the "brave" remarks felt especially true in many ways. I guess what I'm trying to say is: I'm glad I'm not the only one to have felt the same way after a health issue, and thank you for putting into words, what I've struggled to put into words for years.
I am proud of my body for adapting after fourteen surgeries and so many obstructions on order to have an amazing son who is going to be 10 soon. He and I are both autistic and have EDS but we never let anything stand in our way or hold us back
I think my biggest win yet is the fact I gathered the will power to hand over my resignation this month (btw. in my country you still have to work 2 full months after you do it). Unfortunately I am sometimes too much of a "people pleaser" and I am on very friendly terms with my supervisor and colleagues but at some point one must admit that it is not worth it to do a lot of overtime, take extra responsibilities and generally ease the work life for others/organization if it results in one's burn-out. Sometimes what looks like a loyalty is just fear of failing others. Well, now I am looking forward to having a little break in beginning of 2020 and looking for some new exciting job. Also once you realize there is never "a good time" to quit, it gets easier to do it :-D
I've been through a rough couple years. 2018 was the year of the knee surgery. I had surgery on my left knee, recovered and then had the same surgery on my left knee. Only my left knee didn't recover as well and left me a bit disabled. This year I've had some GI issues and just a few days ago was diagnosed with gastroparesis, which basically means I have a paralyzed stomach. So much has changed in my life lately but I'm still kicking and doing my best despite how awful I might feel.
I love this video. I have EDS and had ligament reconstruction surgery when I was 16. I still have issues now that I didn’t have before, recovery isn’t complete and I have a lot of self confidence problems and anxieties still due to my condition and it is really tough sometimes. Thank you for speaking up about your disability, for being a voice for all of us who have gone through things like this too ❤️
Also thank you for sharing the fact that there id mental health problems that come with living with a disability and it’s something that I feel medical professionals need to realise more when it comes to post op recovery as no one even picked up my anxiety when I was 16 and I went through a really tough time trying to fight it alone. Like you say, bravery is a choice, I could have given in to my anxiety and let it stop me going to 6th form and Uni. But although it was a huge thing for me to carry on. I did and I am proud of myself for that ☺️
I have so many gastro. Issues and Hannah you are such an inspiration and you have helped me so much. I have IBS-C and gastroparesis. I felt strongest when I got tested for all my illness such as two endoscopy, dyed gastroparesis Test, pelvic floor balloon test and I’m so grateful my body keeps going ❤️🤗
I've had a couple abdominal surgeries this past year (2018-2019) due to cancer. I agree, bravery didn't have anything to do with it, it was something that had to be done otherwise I wouldn't be here right now. I'm still undergoing treatments, including further surgeries, but like you I am amazed at what I've gone through and come out the other side still positive and thriving. I'm also trying to focus on the things I can control over things I can't, and living life to the fullest as much as I can. Thank you for your videos and your openness, you have been a big inspiration to me!
This reminded me of my year of horror and pain and how I should be more trusting and relying on my capabilities. In 2016 i had just started a long distance relationship and the heartache was real. I also started contraception making me depressed and resulted in multiple pulmonary embolisms. After that I was weak and the blood thinners really took a toll on me. Yet I still managed to smash the contents of three semesters into two and finish my undergrad top of my class. It was hard but looking back it makes me feel like a superwoman. My mum always calls me brave for that, not sure I had a choice of giving up though.
You're so strong having to go through all those surgeries! I've only ever had one surgery experience but it was elective cosmetic and recovery was painful and took 3 weeks for the pain to go, but emergency op and feeling ill must have been tough. I used to work in general surgery and I remember bowel obstruction was not uncommon. Glad you made a good recovery,
Yeah, I wouldnt call it bravery either. But what they mean is that you are a strong person to get through all that with your head held high and such a positive attitude. Im suffering from an autoimmune disease which prevents me from having a normal life. But I try to keep positive and be grateful for what I can do - I can walk without assistance, which shouldnt be taken for granted. Instead of focusing what I cant do and what I dont have Im trying to focus on what I can. But I sometimes feel sorry for myslef as I know my problems are chronic and thus never ending.
So I had open surgery when I was 12 years old (nine years ago, heck) and there are still ways that I act still that aren't the same as before my surgery, and I'm okay with that? Other medical conditions mean that I get called "brave" because I can't always walk up a flight of stairs or a long walking distance. 12 year old just ignored it and got on with it, but 21 year old me still gets on with it, although I sometimes feel guilty about using for an excuse when I need to have extra time walking, or a lift somewhere. But I've still challenged myself by climbing Vesuvius etc, so I do feel very thankful for that!
I felt damn proud of myself taking an overnight trip on the motorcycle the other week. Due to my disabilities, I can’t drive a motorcycle. But thanks to an injury to my knee, I wasn’t riding because...how do I walk when after you get off? Folding cane. It rocks. Also delighted I am still horseriding through all this. 500kg of horse is one heck of a knee brace. No way the knee cap can float out of place with the horse pressing against it. Two hours a week, I get to be fierce and free, thanks to my loyal (borrowed) horse.
Omg yes the "youre so brave" because i went through 2 surgeries while everything shouldve been fine after the first one and never expected to have to go through everything again. Yes it sucks but i dont really have a choice. I also had that i cried so much after my (second) surgery cuz i couldnt stay awake to text my (long distance relationship) boyfriend. Had so similar experience with mentsl health its so chill to hear im not alone. Atm 7 weeks post surgery
I'm feeling proud and capable right now because I just moved into my first apartment on my own from living in a toxic family home and I've been working hard to build consistent healthy habits! It's an imperfect journey but in still proud ♡
The thing about bravery hit different. My mum passed away a year ago so I took time out of uni to look after my sister as she was finishing her A Levels. People say you're so brave to do this despite everything, but you're right I didn't choose to do that (because what else was I going to do abandon my sister?) I did what I would want to happen and what should happen - it wasn't brave it was me being a decent sister.
Hi Hannah, your videos are helping me so much. I'm from Brazil and I'm glad I found them, ileostomy is totally new to me and although it is temporary I'm quiet scared and your videos are helping me getting by. Can't thank you enough :)
Thank you for making these videos about your recovery journey. I was always terrified about the idea of getting surgery for my UC. I ran across your channel describing your experience as I was starting to run out of meds to try, and it showed me that while it was definitely a big thing to go through, I could get my life back after. I had a colectomy in April, and in two weeks I'll be going in for my second (of three) surgery to have a J-pouch made. I know the recovery will be rough, but I've seen how much progress I've made after the first one and I'm actually excited to get through the rest.
Jesse Clark stay strong it’s tuff, I had those 3 surgeries in 2006 , for my Uc, mine was severe.. but my life is much better now . I’m not sick all the time any more
You are brave, by choosing to have and maintain the best attitude you can, when you could choose to complain and wallow in self pitty forever. it is a choice and you are making the best one for you and the people that love you by loving yourself well
I'm just a month and a bit into recovery (I rolled a wheelchair van of 9000 lbs/4000 kg and my left arm was pinned under the vehicle) and... yeah. I still have the arm! But I am just starting to regain use of the arm and then I'll be relearning how to use the arm. I'm trying to curate my emotions (not denying the 'negative' ones but rather reinforcing the 'positive' ones) but... i'm just so tired. BUT! My friends and family have been so supportive and functionally helpful. I still have the arm and will regain most of its use. And while the scars won't be pretty, and I lost a patch on my head where hair won't grow back, I'm choosing to live without hiding any of my scars. I want people to see that they don't need to hide their scars to be pretty and confident or strong. Heck with it. Mentally I'm... crushed. I'm so used to having excellent propioception and my left arm feels like a foreign body at the moment. But I can recover and I hope someone sees my scars and is less afraid of how theirs will be perceived. But that's still not brave to me. In my mind, this is just how I need to be to survive. Anything less than facing this head-on and treating it as a fight, and I'll collapse. I am pretty sure the first person to call me brave will just cause me to start bawling lol
I have felt really strong but weak at the same time for the last year or so. I have been struggling a lot with my (mental and physical) health, and after months I was finally diagnosed with IBS and adenomyosis, but at the same time that I was figuring all this out I also got my first ever job. Now, this meant I was absent quite a lot because of GP/hospital visits, or just being too ill to work, but still I was working hard whenever I was at work, and my manager clearly saw my efforts and was really impressed with my results, because a couple of months ago I was given a permanent contract (not sure if this translates well, but basically a better contract from my employer with more security)!
Good evening Hanna hope you are doing ok. Great to see your positivity and showing people what you are going through. Would love to see you come Here Down Under and Talk of your journey.
Hannah, thumbs and fingers and all digits up to you - you are awesome. I am struggling with my own health issues (at age 72 - so not so strong) but determined to win out. And watching you an what you've been through is encouraging to say the least. Happy Days : )
My wife was sectioned and I was left to be a single parent to two daughters of 9 and 11. That was a challenge I wasn’t sure I’d cope with, but it’s now 10 years later and my daughters are both spreading their wings. I’m so proud of them (and a little bit proud of me).
The keeping a diary to track recovery is a very good idea, especially for mental health which is harder for others to track. I looked back through my recovery diary the other day (mental health) and it's amazing to see how good I'm doing st the moment, even with the bad days. I'm glad you're doing so much better now, recovery is always there in some form but you are very strong and will keep going through anything!
This has really kicked me into wanting to get back into yoga and keep up with my blessings diary (positive things from every day). I had surgery for potential endo last december after dealing with lower abdominal pain for the whole of 2018 and I ended up being diagnosed with IBS this March. Still a huge mental struggle with food and the pain I still get but I know yoga helps and I'm so proud I'm far better mentally and physically than what felt like a very messy 2018. I want to practice much more self care!
My biggest bravery/ “oh shit I did that” moment was going on holiday to New York by myself for a week. First time I’d done any flight, let alone long haul, by myself. First time I’d spent more than a day in foreign country by myself. I didn’t know anyone and it was for me, with anxiety, a MASSIVE deal and I still can’t quite believe I did it let me just edit this and say i personally don’t feel brave through hardship because, like in the video, i don’t feel like i have a choice
Thank you so much for this video. I'm awaiting my second surgery to fix my foot. I tore a ligament in September 2018, had surgery in March and had it rerupture in July, and it's thrown me for a loop. I've basically not been painfree (or off my crutches) for a year, and I've been struggling. On top of that my first surgery was postponed two weeks because the doctor got ill and this second one has also been postponed. I'm just playing a waiting game now, hoping to get a surgery date soon. I've been struggling, I've started therapy, but it's a slow process. So yeah, thank you for this video, it really helped!
Times I felt capable or brave? Running my 1st Half Marathon, despite having a snapped MCL from an old injury. Didn't think I could do it, set my fastest time, a PB. Raising money for Cancer Research by setting a Guinness World Record in gaming. Going self employed full time... this is probably the biggest one, that I'm thankful for every day. I have ADHD, which make a "Typical" work day difficult for me. Now I can set my own hours, I get varied and satisfying job, and even gave a talk at EGX recently to help people get in the same field. I try to keep perspective on all accomplishments in life tho, very hard to do. Too often we concentrate on the next achievement, pushing our goals further away as we achieve them. Sometimes it's worth being present in the moment and appreciating our achievements, loving ourselves and the life we have crafted.
I have untreated microscopic colitis (suspected ulcerative colitis) but havent been able to get treated yet. Living through the daily colon pain has been a lot. I faced and overcame quite a lot with surviving homelessness 7 times :)
Just got my entire colon removed, 3 days later I found out they perforated my small intestine so I had to get an open surgery as an emergency to fix this. After that I had abscesses from fluid they missed and a radiologist had to drain them. 28 days total in hospital. I lost 25 lbs and all my strength. I have no appetite. After almost 2 weeks at home I’m slowly improving. I sleep a lot and feel like crap. Changing my wound bandage is discouraging. I know one day this will be a bad memory but it’s a lot now
I found out over a year ago I have Madelung Deformity which lead to me having wrist surgery in London (I'd moved to Worcester during the process) in June this year. They needed to remove a significant amount of bone and put in a metal plate to get the ulnar to grow straight. I was petrified as I've never general anesthetic or any type of surgery and there's always that thought in your head about not waking up. I cried nearly everyday leading up to it. I was in a full arm cast for about 4/5 weeks and then a forearm cast for another 2. (I should add this was during the heatwave we had in the UK, so it wasn't the most comfortable thing to wear!) Recovery has been hard but I have the majority of my wrist/hand movement back and now working on my grip strength, etc. I probably have one more physio session to go and I'm quite proud of myself for getting through it! It really helped that I had family in London to look after me and my boyfriend when I'd got back home. 😊
My teenage years... Moved school at 13 because school couldn't deal with me having mental health issues & suspected autism (still undiagnosed, not fun) to a Christian school where I was never accepted and constantly having to stand up for my little band of queers to senior management, lost a friend to a very public suicide & didn't tell anyone for 5.5 years, bullied & abused in almost every way possible for 3 years at school, dealt with my dad's health issues, came out as trans at 15 & lost all of my friends over it and family didn't understand enough to accept it, sat my GCSE's mid mental health crisis with no support, chronic, undiagnosed, untreated pain and recurrent injuries, moved out of my parent's home at 18 to keep myself safe, had another mental health crisis before my A levels and was in hospital when I should have sat them, had everyone in shock that I've survived so many suicide attempts and 7 years self harming with barely any support, 2 OD's in the space of a month that could have killed me, best friend saved my life from 100 miles away by getting people to look for me when I couldn't keep myself safe, 3 times. Lost another friend to suicide, found out 3 months after he died on world suicide awareness day, had to deal with the pressure of trying to look after my little sister, OD'd again because I couldn't cope. Now I'm alive because I metaphorically and literally chose to walk myself back from the edge. Redoing my last year at college and on track to potentially get 4 As, applying for uni, leaving supported accommodation as soon as I can, finally fitting in with a friendship group at college and long distance friends that are my chosen family. I didn't feel brave because it felt like a passive participant in it all. But I consciously decide every day to get up and keep going, and I feel brave for that.
I just found your page from Jessica K-F and I bought a 5 year journal just now. I've been meaning to do a journal, so hopefully I can stick to an easy short one. Thank you!
This was such a great video. Thank you Hannah. I felt everything you have felt (I have Von Willebrand's Disease type 3) and I had to go through 2 surgeries back to back and it just wore me down emotionally. I feel very validated. Thank you.
I love when you have surgery and loss weight because you can eat anything then you are told drink ensure or boost and they all don't taste good. I have had ups and downs over the many years after my J pouch have done alot of races. Then had to stop after the 1/2 Ironman. Then had to give up my running and tri's . I had to have spinal surgery.
I got into my maths degree after a really hard last year of school in a bachibac program (mixture of the Spanish and French education system, which meant I was doing a French and Spanish history, a French oral and a French literature exam to get into uni as well as a maths, physics and biology exam, also to get into uni)!!
Hanna, I have had 11 surgeries, three of them for adhesions. My first surgery was at the age of five for appendicitis. I am 82 years old, so you have some time to catch up with me. Getting old is a priviladge that many people do not receive.
I get called inspirational all the time but I don’t feel it, like I just got on with life. I was taken into care when I was 13 after my mum had her leg amputated and my extended family (bunch of arseholes) couldn’t look after me anymore. I experienced the loss of both my parents at the ages of 18 and 21. I still managed to get a first in my degree and now I have a job as a support worker for young people in the care system. 😊
Hey Hannah, I was just wondering if you could recommend me any charities, articles, Government policies etc. on physical disabilities. I am a uni student trying to write about inequalities for people with a physical disability, and how they are often seen just for their disability, and how they are often treated as vulnerable and fragile. Your videos have taught me a lot about people's misconceptions about people with a disability and I wondered if you could help me out?
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As someone who gets called "brave" all the time because of my disability, I completely understand what you mean there. I'm the person who posted that Instagram post on you a few days ago about finding you inspiring, and this video just completely solidified that for me. What an amazing, uplifting, open video. Thank you 💜
Yes I saw thanks so much Zoe!! :D xx
I preformed cpr on a 14 year old kid. Everyone says I should be proud of that but i'm not. I just did what needed to be done.
The kid has survived without brain damage. I just didn't really survive... I took a really bad turn mentally and i got ptsd from it.
It took a really long time to get better but i am doing better now. I'm proud of myself to eventually get treatment for the ptsd. It wasn't fun but it was what i needed.
My positive story is that I was diagnosed with SVT when I was 17. I had 2 small heart operations and was then diagnose with Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome. It got worse, and left me unable to work. I had lost all hope. I then started a business from my bed - Wildest Dreams Book Box; a monthly subscription box for YA lovers. And my business is thriving. I couldn't be more proud of what I've achieved, and in something I love talking about.
Hey, I have POTs too, and I've thought about starting a business from my bed before but I never really know how to go about it... do you have any tips? also I'm gonna go check out Wildest Dreams Book Box as it sounds so awesome! I'm proud of you, and it's wonderful that you have something so amazing to talk about and have a business for.
@@infinitelithium Hi, fellow PoTsie! I worked on the idea first; it was more of a pipe dream at the time. How I wanted it to look. The audience. The price. I started advertising months before to get a platform. I started off with low numbers so that if it flopped, I wouldn't lose too much. I was already a book blogger and booktuber, so I already had contacts in the publishing world. And thank you so much, that's so lovely of you to say 💙 My Twitter is @zcollins1994 and my Insta is @zoecollins1994 if you wanted to talk more about it x
I admire your courage, the courage u had to force out of yourself to persevere thru. Well done.
I also have POTS, maat cell activation, dysautonomia (body can't regulate blood pressure, heart rate basic normal levels of blood sugar, etc), cervical instability Chiari malformation, ehlers danlos syndrome both hypermobile and classical, a connective tissue disorder that is reosonibke for over 50 serious symptoms. Gastroparesis, leaky gut syndrome, IBS, two stroke by 34 & now I'm recovering from surgery, day three. I am in so much pain I want to claw my own eyes out and can't take painkillers either.
My point is, this messes w ur mental so badly, that you just are not the same after you're done. I'm so done w surgery! And I bet u are too!
I'm a student mental health nurse and we talk a lot about "discovery" rather than "recovery". Recovery seems to mean either getting back to who you used to be or going towards something, neither of which are that realistic or meaningful for people. Discovery is more of an ongoing process where you find out who you are now, maybe many times over. I feel you may identify with that! Lots of love, you're amazing xxx
Heather Thompson this is a wonderful concept, thank you for sharing!! That really helps and takes a lot of pressure off of people, I am sure :)
Student mental health nurse how do like giving risperdal consta injection to female patient in buttocks every two weeks. Does student mental health nurse laugh and smile on there face when they received injection so female patient can stop PMS, sexual function, orgram function.
Heather Thompson that’s a great way of thinking about it
I love this so much! Thank you 😊
Two months ago I broke down in my doctor's office and confessed to the eating disorder I've had for seven years. Just over a month ago I was hit by a car while walking home. It was something I never expected would happen to me, and the recovery process with healing and catching up in school while still trying to battle my eating disorder has been the hardest thing I have ever done. This video, especially what you said about bravery being active and not realizing how incredible out bodies are, really struck a chord with me. Thank you for all that you do with your platform, you truly are a role model.
okay not to be creepy but I recognized your first name and story and so I know that's your @voldymorts on Instagram and I just wanted to say that life changes fast and it is terrfying and beautiful and I've been watching your recovery in your captions (I've had some major surgery and continued mental health stuffffff in the last year too so I Get It to some degree) and just remember that facing life is hard as hell and you're hecking winning at it by just being alive
I had 3 surgeries through my GCSE years. Managed to get 7 C's which was so proud of. Then went to sixth form and had another surgery to correct a Scoliosis. Did my A-levels over 3 years and managed to get accepted to university. Was a dream come true. My own independence and freedom. Didn't have to be the ill girl anymore, could start afresh. First year was the hardest as had to build a lot of muscles and stamina. That was the start of my recovery. I couldn't walk far. Had so much pain. Now 7 years later I go out for runs, do 10k steps a day, getting married next year, hold down a good job and living my best life. My past teenage self wouldn't have believed it as things were really tough. Same as you didn't ever think I was brave as just had to get on with it. Every day was a new day
“You’re so brave” all too often means “I can’t imagine going through what you’re going through without curling into a little ball and dying.” And I just think, No dude, you don’t understand - sometimes I WANT to curl into a ball and die, but you just gotta slog through. That’s not bravery, it’s determination. I think the sentiment is meant to convey admiration for that quality - but it can come off as “Wow, your life is barely worth living!” and that is the last thing you need to hear.
Sometimes I look back on things I’ve gone through and wonder how I managed it. My “worst year” was 2010. I was hospitalized with a mystery illness that turned out to be autoimmune hepatitis. That meant I had to take prednisone PLUS another immune suppressant for an entire year, and being on prednisone long term is awful. I went slowly down in dosage but it seemed like every new dosage brought some new and terrible side effect, and because they were immune suppressants I was sick ALL the time. I had no paid time off left by May due to my hospitalization/recovery, and so I just had to go to work with whatever awful bug I acquired. I basically worked and slept. I don’t think I got out of bed on the weekends for over six months and I perfected the art of the car nap.
Then at the end of the year, just after I was starting to feel slightly better - but by no means fully recovered - my best friend died unexpectedly. That became its own slog through grief and depression. I look back and I really don’t know how I managed to keep going through all of that - but you do what you gotta do. People never really know what they’re capable of withstanding until they’ve gone through the fire.
Shaye Eller pure truth !!
WOW, thank you so much for posting this! I'm going through steroid treatment as well as chemo to suppress my immune system. I've been doing the chemo off and on for years but have been having to do it seriously to fight for my lungs for almost 2 years now. "Chemo" is a strong word that I avoided for a while but I sort of learned to embrace but that is a whole other story. Just to shorten it, they use it as chemo and I have the same reaction to cancer patients using it and it's been the best way for me to be able to quickly tell people around me what's going on. I've got mixed connective tissue and the lung part I'm fighting right now is interstitial lung disease from the auto immune collection I have. It got really bad over the summer and that is why I'm on steroids now. I hadn't been on steroids for I think 7 years and when I went off them all that while ago I said the only way I would go back on them would be if I had morphine and was hospitalized (I thought I was going to have a stroke). I had it via IV with the chemo over the summer and someone botched the order and gave me a giant dose and I'm still trying to figure out what happened. The blurred vision side effect made me go legally blind temporarily. That was the worst side effect probably. I'm on a lower dose (that I was supposed to be on earlier) and I'm still having blurred vision so I'm actually surprised I have been able to type this much. I'm just waiting for my eyes to give out!
Sorry, I'm just rambling about myself and not getting to why I wanted to thank you, lol! That kind of feels like a thing in our community, though, doesn't it? We have to explain our condition to each other so the other one knows we're in the same club or something. It was not an easy decision for me to do steroids again or even chemo. When I went off chemo the last time before I started coughing up blood two years ago, I said I was never going to try another kind again and was going to take life as it came to me. It was a quality of life decision. But then my nephew was born in between. Now I'm fighting for him, too. I wasn't sure about trying steroids again, but I had literally just had a conversation where I flat out refused when he told me he is going to be a big brother. I took it as a sign and did a 180 and had another talk with my rheumatologist. One of the biggest things that helped me make the decision was one of my doctors saying, "Nobody wants to take steroids." I don't know, just having him be real like that and showing how it isn't hard just for me but for other people, too, did something. Maybe I wasn't as much of a wimp as I thought I was for reacting so badly to them? And this doctor has one of the worst bedside manners of all the specialists I see, lol! I kind of put up with him because he's the only specialist in his field I can really go to.
Anyway, I've been having a really awful day with everything and then this video popped up and then your comment was there (remember my eyes, lol!) and everything was so perfect! I'm not alone!!! And that is another thing about this community: we get excited to not be alone but then I go and feel bad because I don't want other people to have to go through what I'm going through, lol! I am so sorry for everything you went through and that part about your friend really got to me. I have made friends through my whole journey (I'm in my early 30s and have medical issues my whole life but started figuring out the auto immune part as a teenager) but there comes a time when I just can't keep it up. I know they get it and the good friends are the ones that won't drop me when I can't be a good friend, but it hurts me so much to be such a horrible friend. I'm terrified that when I have to "check out" and take care of myself for however long that is, something is going to happen to one of my friends. I haven't been as close but I have known people who have died and I feel bad enough about that already. I know I can't live my life wondering "what if?" but just thinking of those I lost and have so many regrets for not trying harder to stay in touch.
Something I did want to also comment on is the "being brave" part. I totally get what you and Hannah are saying and have some of the same reactions. Back to the chemo part (there was a reason I wanted to get that in there earlier!), I was watching wig videos here on TH-cam earlier and a couple times I would comment on a video or another person's comment and right away people would say, "You are brave!!!" I kind of froze and didn't know how to react. I kind of thought, "You just know I'm on chemo, you don't know anything about me . . . " Not like I took it as an insult or anything, I was just kind of confused. I thought about it a lot (we have too much time with our thoughts, lol!) and I kind of wonder if some of it is trying to build us up? Well, obviously, I'm pretty sure they do mean it as a compliment of some kind. But I heard about the law of attraction and I was wondering if there was something like that going on. If we hear we are brave enough, we will feel brave and when we are having troubles we will remember that and be inspired? So I've got a couple weeks left on this steroid course and I could be panicking and wondering how I'm going to get through it, but then if I had been told I was brave enough and it was so positively reinforced, maybe my mind will go to that positive place more often? I'm sorry, I'm not sure if that makes any sense, lol! It's actually my first time trying to write it out and my eyes are all messed up by now so I'm having trouble even seeing what I'm typing. But I'm feeling like I'm getting power from the "you are brave!"s?
Sorry if this is just one huge mess and I hope I was able to connect it back to your original comment! Thank you so much for writing this and for all the people who upvoted it so I could see it right away! And thank you of course to Hannah for making this video in the first place
As a disabled person I think a good replacement phrase is 'i really admire the way you are handling this'
Dainty Brighton GIRL I feel you. I always said I'd never take prednisone (I saw it basically ruin my grandfather's health) but when the doctor says, "Take this or you'll die" that conviction disappears pretty fast. The friend I lost was the kind who was there for me no matter what - but because I was so sick in the months before she had her accident, I didn't see her as much as I normally would have and that hurts. I hope you see an upswing soon! I also have connective tissue problems and I know that can have its own issues outside of autoimmune stuff.
Shaye Eller I had to screenshot this. I struggle with mental illness so it’s different but similar at the same time, thank you for these words💜
I relate to this completely! I had spinal fusion surgery 7 years ago to fix severe scoliosis and I’d get so frustrated when people told me I was ‘brave’. It wasn’t brave, I had to have the surgery otherwise my spine would have crushed my lungs and killed me - it was a necessity, anyone would have the surgery in the same situation!
As a 64 year old American male, it would be hard to think of a perspective more different than yours... and yet, I have felt so much kinship between my experiences and yours. Keep up the good work!
Although the illness and complications were passive, your response to it was active - choosing to push yourself with physio and the 5K. I think that is where the bravery comes in. I find it very difficult mentally to push myself with my disability and so I would view your response to what happened to you as brave because you have actively chosen not to be defined by what happened in 2018, and not to let it restrict your actions. Xx
Totally. My response when anything like that happens to me is to stay in bed and watch a lot of TV. I exercise of course but running a 5K? I can't even imagine.
I’ve just found out I have received a 1st for my degree. During my degree I got diagnosed with 2 different chronic illnesses and I was really unwell. Uni was so difficult because of it but I have done it I have passed and I got a 1st! 👩🏼🎓
i love that you totally celebrated your body and mind at the end. I love youuu!!! I have had chronic depression for half my life and I feel insanely proud that I am about to finish my master's degree in Linguistics despite having about two episodes a month which render me completely useless for days at a time.
Aaaw congrats!! That’s an amazing accomplishment!
@@hannahwitton omg you replied. aaah. Been watching your channel waaay before your stoma. Always loved your energy and content
I live in a foreign country at the moment where my native language is not the primary language, especially in the small community where I work, so everyday that I manage to use and improve my language skills to get through my daily life here is huge for me. This is my second year with this job that brought me here, and it is amazing to see how much I have grown in my language skills and my confidence since I arrived last year. I love my life here, and I am so proud of myself for all the hard work that brought me here, and also that keeps me through the process with a smile on my face.
Honestly, I hope I'm in the middle of what'll be my 'surprised at my own strength' story. I'm having open abdominal surgery in a week to get out a Large Boi cyst that's been wrecking havoc covertly for at least 6 months. I'm kind of freaking out, but I've managed to stay positive so far - it's been a whole 10 hours since I had the surgery talk with my doctor, so honestly I feel like I'm doing pretty well. In the past year I've gotten through depression and a pretty bad case of burn-out, and I have an even better support system in place now. Having watched your recovery definitely helps as well, even if our situations are different.
This was a good video for me to watch today, thank you!
You are an amazing person Hannah. I suffer from an illness that can 'Hit" at anytime. Sending my body into complete chaos. No warning. Leave my house perfectly fine, 15 minutes later- on my way to the hospital. No warning. Just BAM. This has been ongoing for years. Concerts? Events? Travel? I sometimes feel fine. Sometimes get a tour of the emergency health facilities. Add in anxiety, and over time, depression, things get bad. So Positivity? Just one day at a time. Sometimes and hour at a time. Living in the present moment, and SO grateful for days without issues. It's all we can do sometimes.
Positive doesn't always mean hearts and rainbows, it means you talk about what you went through and then how you came out of it. I loved this. Very open and honest.
When I was 11, I got sick. After several months I was diagnosed with ME/CFS. I was bedbound, sleeping 23 hours a day. Since then I’ve been diagnosed with fibromyalgia, chronic migraines and colitis (they aren’t sure if it’s UC or crohn’s but they are sure that it’s one of the two). When I was 14, there was trauma that led to PTSD and an eating disorder. I started smoking weed a lot (which was great for my pain but not for my mental health). I’m now 26. I am no longer on antidepressants or any medicine for my mental health. I can walk with a walking frame usually and sometimes even without a walking frame and I have a much more normal sleep pattern. I’ve had relationships, which would have been impossible at my worst- how can you meet someone when you’re asleep 23 hours a day? I’ve got 8 GCSEs, 1 A level and 1 AS level and I did a year and a half at the Open University before I decided it wasn’t for me. I’ve taught myself spanish, guitar, ukulele and piano and I’m writing a book. I also put together a poetry anthology for charity that came out last year. I’m still unable to work but I’ve accepted that and manage to be content with my life most days. It’s taken a lot of work, physical therapy and mental therapy to get to this point. People tell me I’m brave. But I had no choice but to keep going. I was too terrified of dying to kill myself, though I often wanted to, so if I didn’t kill myself because that was too terrifying, my only option was to keep going. There were things that were a choice- keeping going with education and music and spanish, but they were a choice between watching tv all day being bored and finding something to do so I still find it weird when people call me brave.
I’m 8 years into my chronic illness journey and this video put my experience into words for the first time. Basically explained my own thoughts back to me. I can’t put into words how grateful I am. A huge puzzle piece just clicked into place and I’m smiling and crying at the same time. Much love to you Hannah.
I was born with duodenal atresia and had a surgery at four days old. Eighteen years later.... on the 31st October 2018 the world turned upside down. I was in agony, i was admitted to hospital on the 5th November to investigate me of what going on with my abdominal. So then, it was confirmed that i had adhesions. On the 14th November i had a major surgery (open), both mentally and physically post recovery. I was in tears, stressed and wanted me to go back to be an independent again. I'm now 11 months post-op, doing really well and returning to my favorite job (i returned back to work in January). I'm currently gaining my strengths back up and running again meaning i want to get fit. My mind have been all over places that this would happen again in the near future. We never know....do we? Let make most of it!! WELL DONE HANNAH!! You're doing really well xox
I understand the whole mental and physical recovery issues. I just turned 50, and so far I've had 30 surgeries and currently need #31. I've averaged one every 12 to 18 months for the last 10 years. Most are small surgeries thank goodness, but I still have to recover from them. I'm at a point I no longer worry about the surgery, that's old hat. It's the recovery that worries me. So Hannah bravery may not be the word to describe what you're going through. But you are being a badass for making it through to the other side of 2 surgeries.
This may seem not that impressive compared to other people's stories, but two years ago I went to Germany to be a teaching assistant on my year abroad and it was so hard. I was living on my own in the middle of nowhere with absolutely no one my age in the town, I had no wifi and the teachers in the school were unfriendly and did not help me to settle in at all. At the time I didn't realise how down I was, but looking back at my 5 year diary (I also keep one!) I can tell that I was just so unhappy, so I'm really proud of myself that I got through it. I'm also proud that I found a solution - I decided to move to a city nearby and even though that meant I had a 3 hour round trip each day, I knew that it was worth it.
This video reminded me that I need to start writing to my 5-year journal again. It's amazing how much you can trackback.
I’ve been doing it for 7 years!! I love it!
I've lived with UC and constant flare-ups for 11 years and still have my bowel, but I'm running out of drug options and surgery is on the horizon for me. In that time, it hasn't stopped me working, earning an Honours then a Masters degree in English and generally living life as fully as I can. In fact, my health problems have probably helped me face anything else in life without fear, because any other horrible experience I've had was nothing compared to a bad UC flare-up.
You are absolutely spot on with the bravery assumption, its the same with 'you're such a fighter, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger' as the opposite suggests that those who don't make it through either were weak or didn't 'fight'.
Anyway, in 2006 at the age of 20 I was diagnosed with Diamond Blackfan Anaemia, a really rare bone marrow failure disorder that is usually diagnosed in childhood. In brief, my bone marrow doesn't produce any red blood cells (amongst many other things), and since then I have had a blood transfusion every 6 weeks. I forget sometimes that not everyone has a day case admission as a routine thing. I have a full time job, a husband and live a normal every day life, being able to do that is the thing I feel most proud of. Its actually made me a better person, I'm more self aware, more considerate and mindful, but also more inquisitive and empowered to learn. As its such a rare condition it is very unlikely that I can visit a Doctor who has both experience and knowledge of the condition, so I have had to find the balance between making sure I get what I need without sounding like I am trying to undermine the professional. Its a very fine line!
Coming across these videos today has been an eye opener. I was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis when I was only 12. Growing up in small midwest America it took months of rotating doctors and trial and error to actually get my diagnosis down. I ended up have a temporary stoma for about 3 months once they removed my large intestine along with 6 inches of my small. Ended up getting a J pouch and have just been dealing with the lifestyle changes by myself as nobody here really know what I'm going through or doesn't wanna talk about it. I'm 25 now and finally realizing theres others who have similar lifestyle changes and problems they have to deal with...in a way it's comforting I guess..
So much of this video resonated for me and I am so glad you shared it. I had a total hysterectomy at the age of 26 after fighting life threatening complications from delivering my son for nearly two years. By the time I found a doctor who would listen to me, I was already dying. The surgery saved me physically, but I was in a really dark mental and emotional place for a long time. Healing from all of that DEFINITELY made me realize how strong and determined I am. Now I look back on it as a gift in disguise. I hope you continue to gain strength and healing!!
You are brave. Not for what happened to you, but to share such a personal story with the world. I don’t know if i could ever do that, and to see somebody who went through something so difficult, both mentally and physically, speak so openly about their experiences is inspirational. ❤️❤️❤️
I think a big achievement for me was pushing past my social anxiety at work and offering to help with the social media. It took so much and was really scary, but has been the most rewarding thing in creativity and in terms of taking control of my anxiety. That was a year ago, and I now lead the social media team!
I’m so proud of myself for being able to push past my anxiety in that moment a year ago, and how far I’ve come since then.
Thank you for this video, Hannah 💛
This video is brilliant Hannah! My story also involves two traumatic events that happened quite close together. I was in a car accident this time last year, flipped over 3 times and we were lucky to walk away. Then late Jan this year I was violently attacked on my way walking home whilst on the phone to my boyfriend. Long story short, it ended it him strangling me until I lost consciousness. I didn’t know the person. He is being sentenced this November in crown court, and I’m going to watch. I don’t know how I will be, but I think it’s something I need to do. I’m proud of myself though, I still graduated from Uni in July with a first class honours, and I was also awarded for best in my cohort for a film I made about trauma. Your videos really resonate with me because trauma; and quite frankly being a woman sometimes, is so complex and difficult. I am glad that it is spoken about and shared universally. So thank you. Thank you for helping me this year. Katie x
Pulled myself out of depression, put my needs first, and made some major life changes that helped me truly thrive :)
I have dyslexia and when I first started school I really struggled to read and write. After failing my first stats test when I was 7 I was diagnosed and given support, for which I am very grateful to my parents for noticing and pushing the school to give we the help I needed. I loved books (still do) and was determined to learn to read, when I learnt to read my first book Each Peach Pear Plum by Janet and Allan Ahlberg I read it in front of the whole school in assembly. I now have a first class BSc honours degree from the university of kent and a full time job within the field of wildlife conservation. I have come a long way since I started first started school and there were times when I really struggled and got frustrated with myself but I am proud of what I have achieved so far in my life and not let my dyslexia hold me back.
Thank you for such an inspiring video. It's so nice to hear someone talking so openly about disability. When I was 14 I was diagnosed with a brain tumour which I had removed, but it led to complications meaning I now have a shunt (plastic tube and value keeping me alive!). When I got diagnosed it ignited this weird passion to do well in my GCSEs which I was doing at the time! I managed to get 10 A* grades and I'm damn proud of myself for it. I rocked it! Life isn't completely easy now, but whenever I'm going through something I always remind myself that I got through that. Xxx
Your positive mindset is something that I want to aspire to have. I struggle with depression and have done since I was 14, and I find it so difficult to be positive on a daily basis, even for one thing that I’ve managed to achieve - I beat myself up constantly about it.
In November of 2017 I had an emergency colostomy and part of how I found you was searching for "stoma" on twitter. I wish a kept a recovery journal. I do remember in the first month that I was home after being at the hospital I would reassess and know that this week was better than the last. That's what kept me going. I need to force myself into the mindset that my body is a wonderful thing as that it has recovered from all this and now I'm back to normal. I'm still traumatised in a lot of ways I can't articulate. And I'm old; I'm 41 with two kids and a family and everything else on my shoulders that comes with it.
I had emergency abdominal keyhole surgery (appendicitis) in 2017 from witch I’m unfortunately still trying to recover. Your successive recovery process is helping me with my own very slow recovery journey.
I think that by sharing your story you are giving lot’s of people hope that they can get through really though things.
I got severely ill with pericarditis in jan 2018, and am still recovering as I developed Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Chronic Pain, POTs syndrome/Inappropriate Sinus Tachycardia and IBS. It was tough, I was barely in school and lost a lot of friends and mentally I was in a bad place. My life had fallen apart, I didn't feel like a person, I wasn't able to do things I loved or just be 'normal'. My partner at the time left me nearly a year ago, which was another low point, leaving me feeling unloved and unwanted and like there was nothing I had to give in life. I was just a burden. But a year and 9 months on, I've come so far. I built up stronger connections with a couple friends and I have a strong relationship with a partner who is everything and more. I even managed to get an A Level, and now I'm working towards an AS Level, grade 8 bass guitar and grade 8 LAMDA (to build up my confidence). I can do more than a year ago, even though it doesn't feel like it. I'm able to judge my energy levels better and find ways to manage my energy and so I can actually do more. I still struggle and have bad days, but I'm mentally in a better place, and know that I can get through things. Even if it's difficult. I know myself better, and I don't think I would ever know myself as well as I do now or be in such a mentally better place if I hadn't got ill. I have support and I'm forever grateful for it, and I'm proud of how far I've come.
Have always loved your videos Hannah. A week ago I got diagnosed with a chronic kidney stone condition and told I will have to have my kidney removed. I now can''t work or do much until I have had the surgery which they said could be in 2-3 months since I am on a waiting list. I am nervous about it all but it feels like this video came at the right time and shows me that things will be okay and I will recover and feel better than I do now
Thank you for sharing about your recovery journey and thus update. It is particularly great timing for me as I am having surgery again at the end of October. Watching your videos about dealing with U.C., surgeries, and having a stoma are what always make me feel like things will be okay. I love your channels :)
Becoming a Mom made me realize how amazing I am. I grew a human, pushed her into the world, and have kept her alive for 2 whole years. On top of being a wife, and having a full time career. At the beginning I thought, how do people do this? It was much harder than I had anticipated (and I thought I was well prepared). But it has also been so much more wonderful than I anticipated. It still feels like a dream sometimes - is she really mine? I'm so grateful that I get to be her Mom, and I'm constantly amazed by the things I am able to do for her.
This is incredibly relatable - I have epilepsy and in 2016 gave myself third degree burns during a seizure, leading to a skin graft over 5% of my body. It was physically so tough but I felt incredible and so powerful and in awe of my body and what I was capable of persevering through. Then this summer, the same thing happened again - much less serious burns over a smaller area but it affected my mental health so much more - just like you said. It just felt so unfair and like my health was so far from my control and - being older this time and living with friends at the time - it felt so much more offensive to have my independence taken away from me like that. Thanks for your content, it's been so helpful to hear from another young person managing a chronic condition. While I agree it doesn't feel brave - it's just what you have to do - hearing your story has helped me feel more sure that I can get through it too.
This year has probably been the worst so far. I'm in my mid-twenties and my mum died six months ago. I would have never expected to lose her that early in my life. On top of that I went through a breakup. I'm so tired of losing people and of being strong. Nevertheless I know now how strong I am actually. Like you I know now that I can handle a lot. Life is so unfair but I'm not going to give up so there's not much you can do other than to just live on.
Well, since u asked...😋...I got chronicly ill at 25 (chronic fatigue, low immune system, chronic pain,...) was in bed most of the time for a few years. Had to stop working, my sickness- benefits were so low at some point that I couldn't pay rent anymore. Had a financial crisis, got super depressed and suicidal. Then survived a huge fire with explosions, got very bad PTSD. And many other crazy things happened in a short period... I really was so shocked of how life could look like. It felt like I was in a television soap. I liked hearing from u how u learned to live more in the moment. It reminded me to see it as a good thing as well. And not only see it as 'I can never plan anything'.
Woah that really does sound like a soap opera. Hope you’re alright x
@@hannahwitton Doing better now, thank u!😊
I think the problem is that no one prepares us for bad luck in life. Parents and teachers teach us that life depends on studies, career etc. As if everything will be a consequence of good choices and hard work. No one prepares u for the possibility that illness could influence your career, that u might not be able to get pregnant and have the family u wanted. Just simply that life happens and bad luck could come your way. Maybe it's just me but I totally got a shock waking up from teletubbieland. I'm convinced things would have been easier if I was prepared better for real life with the downs included. That's why I find channels like yours so important 👏
This video could have not come at a better time! I had a bad climbing accident on Friday, and broke my ankle - I find out tomorrow if I need surgery to fix it! I'm usually a really independent and active person, I work 35+ hours, climb a couple times a week, and volunteer & I can't do any of that at the moment. I'm finding the recovery process so difficult, I have to sit with my leg raised at all times & I can't even get down the stairs of my flat without 2 people helping me, and I feel so useless, and I'm finding it very mentally not leaving the house every day, or even being able to do the chores. You've really inspired me to change my way of thinking, thank you
Hi Hannah. I have experienced the same. I had tow major surgeries ileostomy in October 2018 and ileostomy reversal in March 2019. In India generally we don't get these kind of immune disorder but to my fate I got Crohn's disease which lead to the death doors. I was hospitalized immeadiately for ileostomy surgery and survived. My parents and my wife's support is much appreciated in helping from my recovery. In India no one knows about this disease and had to suffer and it was so expensive. However I recovered and started going to work since three months. I thank God that i made through all the difficult situations
Did you happen to take a strong antibiotic some months before being diagnosed with Crohn's?
After all of this how is Mona doing? I hope she is coping well.
Wow. I too had a serious health crisis, ten years prior to yours (Massive stroke at 18 years old in 2008, which required two separate surgeries on my skull), and I've often struggled to adequately sum up my thoughts and feeling as well as you just did; then or now. The physical aspect, and the "brave" remarks felt especially true in many ways. I guess what I'm trying to say is: I'm glad I'm not the only one to have felt the same way after a health issue, and thank you for putting into words, what I've struggled to put into words for years.
I am proud of my body for adapting after fourteen surgeries and so many obstructions on order to have an amazing son who is going to be 10 soon. He and I are both autistic and have EDS but we never let anything stand in our way or hold us back
I think my biggest win yet is the fact I gathered the will power to hand over my resignation this month (btw. in my country you still have to work 2 full months after you do it). Unfortunately I am sometimes too much of a "people pleaser" and I am on very friendly terms with my supervisor and colleagues but at some point one must admit that it is not worth it to do a lot of overtime, take extra responsibilities and generally ease the work life for others/organization if it results in one's burn-out. Sometimes what looks like a loyalty is just fear of failing others. Well, now I am looking forward to having a little break in beginning of 2020 and looking for some new exciting job. Also once you realize there is never "a good time" to quit, it gets easier to do it :-D
I've been through a rough couple years. 2018 was the year of the knee surgery. I had surgery on my left knee, recovered and then had the same surgery on my left knee. Only my left knee didn't recover as well and left me a bit disabled. This year I've had some GI issues and just a few days ago was diagnosed with gastroparesis, which basically means I have a paralyzed stomach. So much has changed in my life lately but I'm still kicking and doing my best despite how awful I might feel.
I love this video. I have EDS and had ligament reconstruction surgery when I was 16. I still have issues now that I didn’t have before, recovery isn’t complete and I have a lot of self confidence problems and anxieties still due to my condition and it is really tough sometimes. Thank you for speaking up about your disability, for being a voice for all of us who have gone through things like this too ❤️
Also thank you for sharing the fact that there id mental health problems that come with living with a disability and it’s something that I feel medical professionals need to realise more when it comes to post op recovery as no one even picked up my anxiety when I was 16 and I went through a really tough time trying to fight it alone. Like you say, bravery is a choice, I could have given in to my anxiety and let it stop me going to 6th form and Uni. But although it was a huge thing for me to carry on. I did and I am proud of myself for that ☺️
I have so many gastro. Issues and Hannah you are such an inspiration and you have helped me so much. I have IBS-C and gastroparesis. I felt strongest when I got tested for all my illness such as two endoscopy, dyed gastroparesis Test, pelvic floor balloon test and I’m so grateful my body keeps going ❤️🤗
I've had a couple abdominal surgeries this past year (2018-2019) due to cancer. I agree, bravery didn't have anything to do with it, it was something that had to be done otherwise I wouldn't be here right now. I'm still undergoing treatments, including further surgeries, but like you I am amazed at what I've gone through and come out the other side still positive and thriving. I'm also trying to focus on the things I can control over things I can't, and living life to the fullest as much as I can. Thank you for your videos and your openness, you have been a big inspiration to me!
live the best life, i wish you all the best.
This reminded me of my year of horror and pain and how I should be more trusting and relying on my capabilities. In 2016 i had just started a long distance relationship and the heartache was real. I also started contraception making me depressed and resulted in multiple pulmonary embolisms. After that I was weak and the blood thinners really took a toll on me. Yet I still managed to smash the contents of three semesters into two and finish my undergrad top of my class. It was hard but looking back it makes me feel like a superwoman. My mum always calls me brave for that, not sure I had a choice of giving up though.
You're so strong having to go through all those surgeries! I've only ever had one surgery experience but it was elective cosmetic and recovery was painful and took 3 weeks for the pain to go, but emergency op and feeling ill must have been tough. I used to work in general surgery and I remember bowel obstruction was not uncommon. Glad you made a good recovery,
Yeah, I wouldnt call it bravery either. But what they mean is that you are a strong person to get through all that with your head held high and such a positive attitude. Im suffering from an autoimmune disease which prevents me from having a normal life. But I try to keep positive and be grateful for what I can do - I can walk without assistance, which shouldnt be taken for granted. Instead of focusing what I cant do and what I dont have Im trying to focus on what I can. But I sometimes feel sorry for myslef as I know my problems are chronic and thus never ending.
So I had open surgery when I was 12 years old (nine years ago, heck) and there are still ways that I act still that aren't the same as before my surgery, and I'm okay with that?
Other medical conditions mean that I get called "brave" because I can't always walk up a flight of stairs or a long walking distance. 12 year old just ignored it and got on with it, but 21 year old me still gets on with it, although I sometimes feel guilty about using for an excuse when I need to have extra time walking, or a lift somewhere.
But I've still challenged myself by climbing Vesuvius etc, so I do feel very thankful for that!
I felt damn proud of myself taking an overnight trip on the motorcycle the other week. Due to my disabilities, I can’t drive a motorcycle. But thanks to an injury to my knee, I wasn’t riding because...how do I walk when after you get off?
Folding cane. It rocks.
Also delighted I am still horseriding through all this. 500kg of horse is one heck of a knee brace. No way the knee cap can float out of place with the horse pressing against it.
Two hours a week, I get to be fierce and free, thanks to my loyal (borrowed) horse.
Omg yes the "youre so brave" because i went through 2 surgeries while everything shouldve been fine after the first one and never expected to have to go through everything again. Yes it sucks but i dont really have a choice. I also had that i cried so much after my (second) surgery cuz i couldnt stay awake to text my (long distance relationship) boyfriend. Had so similar experience with mentsl health its so chill to hear im not alone. Atm 7 weeks post surgery
We’re definitely not alone! You got this!!
@@hannahwitton yessss thank you💖
I'm feeling proud and capable right now because I just moved into my first apartment on my own from living in a toxic family home and I've been working hard to build consistent healthy habits! It's an imperfect journey but in still proud ♡
The thing about bravery hit different. My mum passed away a year ago so I took time out of uni to look after my sister as she was finishing her A Levels. People say you're so brave to do this despite everything, but you're right I didn't choose to do that (because what else was I going to do abandon my sister?) I did what I would want to happen and what should happen - it wasn't brave it was me being a decent sister.
Hi Hannah, your videos are helping me so much. I'm from Brazil and I'm glad I found them, ileostomy is totally new to me and although it is temporary I'm quiet scared and your videos are helping me getting by. Can't thank you enough :)
Thank you for making these videos about your recovery journey. I was always terrified about the idea of getting surgery for my UC. I ran across your channel describing your experience as I was starting to run out of meds to try, and it showed me that while it was definitely a big thing to go through, I could get my life back after. I had a colectomy in April, and in two weeks I'll be going in for my second (of three) surgery to have a J-pouch made. I know the recovery will be rough, but I've seen how much progress I've made after the first one and I'm actually excited to get through the rest.
Jesse Clark stay strong it’s tuff, I had those 3 surgeries in 2006 , for my Uc, mine was severe.. but my life is much better now . I’m not sick all the time any more
You are brave, by choosing to have and maintain the best attitude you can, when you could choose to complain and wallow in self pitty forever. it is a choice and you are making the best one for you and the people that love you by loving yourself well
I'm just a month and a bit into recovery (I rolled a wheelchair van of 9000 lbs/4000 kg and my left arm was pinned under the vehicle) and... yeah. I still have the arm! But I am just starting to regain use of the arm and then I'll be relearning how to use the arm. I'm trying to curate my emotions (not denying the 'negative' ones but rather reinforcing the 'positive' ones) but... i'm just so tired.
BUT!
My friends and family have been so supportive and functionally helpful. I still have the arm and will regain most of its use. And while the scars won't be pretty, and I lost a patch on my head where hair won't grow back, I'm choosing to live without hiding any of my scars. I want people to see that they don't need to hide their scars to be pretty and confident or strong. Heck with it. Mentally I'm... crushed. I'm so used to having excellent propioception and my left arm feels like a foreign body at the moment. But I can recover and I hope someone sees my scars and is less afraid of how theirs will be perceived.
But that's still not brave to me. In my mind, this is just how I need to be to survive. Anything less than facing this head-on and treating it as a fight, and I'll collapse. I am pretty sure the first person to call me brave will just cause me to start bawling lol
I have felt really strong but weak at the same time for the last year or so. I have been struggling a lot with my (mental and physical) health, and after months I was finally diagnosed with IBS and adenomyosis, but at the same time that I was figuring all this out I also got my first ever job. Now, this meant I was absent quite a lot because of GP/hospital visits, or just being too ill to work, but still I was working hard whenever I was at work, and my manager clearly saw my efforts and was really impressed with my results, because a couple of months ago I was given a permanent contract (not sure if this translates well, but basically a better contract from my employer with more security)!
Good evening Hanna hope you are doing ok. Great to see your positivity and showing people what you are going through. Would love to see you come Here Down Under and Talk of your journey.
And I'm happy you completely recovered and now you're brighter than ever.
Hannah, thumbs and fingers and all digits up to you - you are awesome. I am struggling with my own health issues (at age 72 - so not so strong) but determined to win out. And watching you an what you've been through is encouraging to say the least. Happy Days : )
My wife was sectioned and I was left to be a single parent to two daughters of 9 and 11. That was a challenge I wasn’t sure I’d cope with, but it’s now 10 years later and my daughters are both spreading their wings. I’m so proud of them (and a little bit proud of me).
Did you're wife never get better and out of the hospital?
If you feel good, or have a sense of well-being, that's a success.
The keeping a diary to track recovery is a very good idea, especially for mental health which is harder for others to track. I looked back through my recovery diary the other day (mental health) and it's amazing to see how good I'm doing st the moment, even with the bad days.
I'm glad you're doing so much better now, recovery is always there in some form but you are very strong and will keep going through anything!
Yeah I didn’t even intend for the diary to be used in this way. I’ve kept a daily/5 year diary for 7 years now!!
This has really kicked me into wanting to get back into yoga and keep up with my blessings diary (positive things from every day). I had surgery for potential endo last december after dealing with lower abdominal pain for the whole of 2018 and I ended up being diagnosed with IBS this March. Still a huge mental struggle with food and the pain I still get but I know yoga helps and I'm so proud I'm far better mentally and physically than what felt like a very messy 2018. I want to practice much more self care!
My biggest bravery/ “oh shit I did that” moment was going on holiday to New York by myself for a week. First time I’d done any flight, let alone long haul, by myself. First time I’d spent more than a day in foreign country by myself. I didn’t know anyone and it was for me, with anxiety, a MASSIVE deal and I still can’t quite believe I did it
let me just edit this and say i personally don’t feel brave through hardship because, like in the video, i don’t feel like i have a choice
Thank you so much for this video. I'm awaiting my second surgery to fix my foot. I tore a ligament in September 2018, had surgery in March and had it rerupture in July, and it's thrown me for a loop. I've basically not been painfree (or off my crutches) for a year, and I've been struggling. On top of that my first surgery was postponed two weeks because the doctor got ill and this second one has also been postponed. I'm just playing a waiting game now, hoping to get a surgery date soon.
I've been struggling, I've started therapy, but it's a slow process. So yeah, thank you for this video, it really helped!
I had to have someone explain to me what 'manipedi' was. I thought it was some kind of takeaway meal. (English isn't my first language. Sorry.)
It's short for manicure-pedicure so essentially getting your fingernails and toenails painted all in one go.
It might be my least favorite word. I don't know why but it really grosses me out.
I love your channel so much!! ❤️ your journey has inspired me to better myself as a person
Times I felt capable or brave?
Running my 1st Half Marathon, despite having a snapped MCL from an old injury.
Didn't think I could do it, set my fastest time, a PB.
Raising money for Cancer Research by setting a Guinness World Record in gaming.
Going self employed full time... this is probably the biggest one, that I'm thankful for every day.
I have ADHD, which make a "Typical" work day difficult for me.
Now I can set my own hours, I get varied and satisfying job, and even gave a talk at EGX recently to help people get in the same field.
I try to keep perspective on all accomplishments in life tho, very hard to do.
Too often we concentrate on the next achievement, pushing our goals further away as we achieve them.
Sometimes it's worth being present in the moment and appreciating our achievements, loving ourselves and the life we have crafted.
I have untreated microscopic colitis (suspected ulcerative colitis) but havent been able to get treated yet. Living through the daily colon pain has been a lot. I faced and overcame quite a lot with surviving homelessness 7 times :)
Just got my entire colon removed, 3 days later I found out they perforated my small intestine so I had to get an open surgery as an emergency to fix this. After that I had abscesses from fluid they missed and a radiologist had to drain them. 28 days total in hospital. I lost 25 lbs and all my strength. I have no appetite. After almost 2 weeks at home I’m slowly improving. I sleep a lot and feel like crap. Changing my wound bandage is discouraging. I know one day this will be a bad memory but it’s a lot now
I found out over a year ago I have Madelung Deformity which lead to me having wrist surgery in London (I'd moved to Worcester during the process) in June this year. They needed to remove a significant amount of bone and put in a metal plate to get the ulnar to grow straight. I was petrified as I've never general anesthetic or any type of surgery and there's always that thought in your head about not waking up. I cried nearly everyday leading up to it. I was in a full arm cast for about 4/5 weeks and then a forearm cast for another 2. (I should add this was during the heatwave we had in the UK, so it wasn't the most comfortable thing to wear!)
Recovery has been hard but I have the majority of my wrist/hand movement back and now working on my grip strength, etc. I probably have one more physio session to go and I'm quite proud of myself for getting through it! It really helped that I had family in London to look after me and my boyfriend when I'd got back home. 😊
You just made me feel so much better about myself. I’ve been through so much too :)
My teenage years... Moved school at 13 because school couldn't deal with me having mental health issues & suspected autism (still undiagnosed, not fun) to a Christian school where I was never accepted and constantly having to stand up for my little band of queers to senior management, lost a friend to a very public suicide & didn't tell anyone for 5.5 years, bullied & abused in almost every way possible for 3 years at school, dealt with my dad's health issues, came out as trans at 15 & lost all of my friends over it and family didn't understand enough to accept it, sat my GCSE's mid mental health crisis with no support, chronic, undiagnosed, untreated pain and recurrent injuries, moved out of my parent's home at 18 to keep myself safe, had another mental health crisis before my A levels and was in hospital when I should have sat them, had everyone in shock that I've survived so many suicide attempts and 7 years self harming with barely any support, 2 OD's in the space of a month that could have killed me, best friend saved my life from 100 miles away by getting people to look for me when I couldn't keep myself safe, 3 times. Lost another friend to suicide, found out 3 months after he died on world suicide awareness day, had to deal with the pressure of trying to look after my little sister, OD'd again because I couldn't cope.
Now I'm alive because I metaphorically and literally chose to walk myself back from the edge. Redoing my last year at college and on track to potentially get 4 As, applying for uni, leaving supported accommodation as soon as I can, finally fitting in with a friendship group at college and long distance friends that are my chosen family.
I didn't feel brave because it felt like a passive participant in it all. But I consciously decide every day to get up and keep going, and I feel brave for that.
I just found your page from Jessica K-F and I bought a 5 year journal just now. I've been meaning to do a journal, so hopefully I can stick to an easy short one. Thank you!
Thank you so much for sharing your journey. You are helping us so much ♥️
This was such a great video. Thank you Hannah. I felt everything you have felt (I have Von Willebrand's Disease type 3) and I had to go through 2 surgeries back to back and it just wore me down emotionally. I feel very validated. Thank you.
I love when you have surgery and loss weight because you can eat anything then you are told drink ensure or boost and they all don't taste good. I have had ups and downs over the many years after my J pouch have done alot of races. Then had to stop after the 1/2 Ironman. Then had to give up my running and tri's . I had to have spinal surgery.
I got into my maths degree after a really hard last year of school in a bachibac program (mixture of the Spanish and French education system, which meant I was doing a French and Spanish history, a French oral and a French literature exam to get into uni as well as a maths, physics and biology exam, also to get into uni)!!
Hanna, I have had 11 surgeries, three of them for adhesions. My first surgery was at the age of five for appendicitis. I am 82 years old, so you have some time to catch up with me. Getting old is a priviladge that many people do not receive.
I had j pouch surgery around 6 years ago, and am currently discussing going back to the bag, as I am getting symptoms almost as bad as I did with UC
I get called inspirational all the time but I don’t feel it, like I just got on with life.
I was taken into care when I was 13 after my mum had her leg amputated and my extended family (bunch of arseholes) couldn’t look after me anymore. I experienced the loss of both my parents at the ages of 18 and 21. I still managed to get a first in my degree and now I have a job as a support worker for young people in the care system. 😊
Thank you so much for sharing! Very inspiring :)
Also: Your necklace is STUNNING! Where did you get it??
I hope you're doing well, wishing you all the best.
this fleshy vessel i go about the world in - Hannah Witton. 🤣 you're awesome mate! ❤️❤️
I haven’t had to have surgery yet for my IBD, but it may happen one day. Thanks for making it not seem so scary! 💜💩
You are an inspiration beautiful inside and out and I appreciate your strength
Lovely video, you've really grown your hair a bit since you chopped it! Do you miss the bob at all?
I was the 1k person to like your video. Omg so good to hear your story. Xx
Hey Hannah, I was just wondering if you could recommend me any charities, articles, Government policies etc. on physical disabilities. I am a uni student trying to write about inequalities for people with a physical disability, and how they are often seen just for their disability, and how they are often treated as vulnerable and fragile. Your videos have taught me a lot about people's misconceptions about people with a disability and I wondered if you could help me out?
you look gorgeous in the olay's ad, love your hair style so so so much
This was very inspiring and informative. Thanks for sharing 😍