@@phoenixrising6245 these people basically believe that they are SO smart that their superior intellect will outwit any police officer they come across.
Your deadpan kills me, Dr. Grande. Interestingly enough, I just watched the 48 Hours documentary on this case. You provided more facts in less than 20 minutes! This gives me more time to shop for antique pillowcases!
@Alexander Jimenez at one point for sure, I can't believe I have even say this, I don't judge other people's relationships. Lives but ur killing it, lol
I could see him seeing some cops at a gas station and walking up to them and starting a conversation like "hey fellas, crazy weather we're having here. I was up at the log cabin and doing a lot of manual labor, most of it digging and cutting stuff up. Anyway, my ex wife is missing and they still haven't found the body. Pretty crazy right?" and the cops just looking at him in shock.
“If you enjoy this video please like and share”. I’ve watched you every day for a year and I haven’t come across a video that I don’t like. As an extra treat, you have made videos that I have requested in the comments section. You rock 😎
This guy was my professor at KSU back in 2000-01, I swear to God, I leaned over and told my friend Patrick - "This dude gives off creepy murderer vibes". My hand to God!
@@TaurusMoon-hu3pd basically. It was more like some Thor viking shit. Ye olde yaulp shit. The guy had a Forrest Gump Flat top and wore a too tight black tshirt every day. He seemed like a horror movie director- very serious, zero humor.
So the guy agreed to be interviewed by police for 9 hours with no lawyer, then he not only agreed for them to search his house, and his car, and his computer, but he also pointed out to the evidence there so that police wouldn't accidentally miss it. At this point I am not sure which is higher, his IQ or his shoe size.
Tom Murray put a huge neon sign on himself saying "I DID IT!" by all the bizarre statements he made. The unreal amount of rage displayed in the murder shows this guy should never be free in public again. Thank you for the very detailed work you did on this, Dr. Grande
@@pazuzuxx We don't live in the stone age anymore. Trying to excuse a MURDER done with poor emotional control with some biblical nonsense... There is crime and punishment established by the law. Has nothing to do with the bible.
"I'm a thinking man" then asks police if there's cameras in certain areas while writing down his alibi. I wonder if the police were confused by how obvious he was being or if they had the insight to go "just him talk and he'll tell us the details".
@@JinJinDoe The law does is not a perfect representation of morality and does absolutely nothing to cheaters. They can do it in the most horrific way imaginable and walk away scot free. I think the anger is understandable, especially with the lack of justice, and is hard to have sympathy for a cheat. That said, it's clearly counterproductive as you likely end up in prison.
Man, these folks sure bleed a lot. It’s a wonder they remained alive to have either affairs, murderous rages, suspicious google searches, or antique pillow case hunts.
I don’t know why his excuses are so funny to me: “I was cutting a pineapple” “I was looking for antique pillow cases” “I was researching a CSI script” “I picked a callous so I left blood behind” Just….lol
Dr. Grande zeroed in on euphoria in his analysis, which is the feeling many addicts say they prize most of all when doing drugs. Sadly, euphoria leaves you unaware of the dangers around you. Thank you Dr. Grande for bringing attention to the addictive nature of affairs and their potential for unforeseen deadly consequences. ❤️🌵
I'm wondering if there's some grade of victim blaming in this particular video.... A woman should be free to feel euforia (because a lover, because wine, because whatever) without concerning about murderous husbands- because the only one to be wrong should be only the murder. I think.
@@agostinodublino1387 Why does everything have to be black or white? The fact that she got murdered for it does not excuse her infidelity. Different degrees of wrong, sure, but both actions are still wrong. And Dr. Grande was just explaining what he thought happened. Everything is labelled "victim blaming" these days, I'm frankly sick of it.
😂 I work in a maximum security prison, I laughed so hard at the pillowcase/weapons comments. I had to rewind it and watch it again. Working in a prison changes you a lot and one aspect is definitely sense of humor.
Haha, yes. you do need a sense of humour, you are so right. I hope you can get some space and have fun outside your work. Even though it changes you, thanks for your work.
Sounds like Tom was in fact the problem. Taking a lover isn’t a particularly mature or honest way to end a shitty marriage - but dating your students isn’t particularly honest or professional either & murdering someone because they’ve rejected you really takes the shittiness cake.
Agree. Predatory behaviour on his behalf in going after a younger female student, didn't want children because he wanted to endlessly be the center of attention. Manipulative, neurotic as fuck, violent psychopath. Yes Carmen had an affair, followed quickly by a divorce. So what. If all the men who had affairs were murdered, there would be a lot less men in this world. His interview was bizarre. What an idiot.
There is a difference between rejection and betrayal. I am not excusing murder , but I often see people conflate betrayal with rejection , and there is a big difference.
If his wife wasn’t cheating on him/leaving him, the homicide might never have occurred. Motive is everything. Although at the same time: how can you prove it wasn’t you if you have the motive? That’s the rub that always lands them in jail.
@@shitmandood Prosecution nailed this guy not by providing enough evidence but by a convincing motive. Not what usually occurs in murder trials. (It's peculiar to me w/blood evidence no DNA could be categorically attributed to him? Isn't that strange? Not enough $ to get proper testing?) And, of course, lucking out in the jury pool, who had common sense. She was too young to be married to someone who wanted "separate bedrooms", older and unromantic. He essentially drove her away; only natural she wanted more children and a "normal" husband. Not necessary to judge her so harshly; obviously not a very smart girl - simple I'd say; and not experienced in life enough to recognize a secret "confirmed bachelor" at heart. The "thinking" man who likes antique pillowcases could be free now? And his avuncular professorial schitc/to "lover" at work or soon enough, and plenty of gullible needy girls waiting. It's been almost 20 yrs.? I hope he's found out who he really is in prison, perfect place to be reborn, isn't it?
Maybe their love was shallow, immature, even narcissistic. They lacked any deep connection or empathy for each other. For instance, Tom didn't want a child but when his wife left him he wouldn't let go of the child.
"I would never kill my wife in a uncouth manner!" (3 days before the police interview him) "Hey Siri , How long does it take for a woman name Carmen to decompose if I killed her with a knife from my kitchen, on a Wednesday when it's 60° , partly cloudy with a slight wind out of the south?"
I remember watching the 48 hours episode about this case years ago for the first time (it's a very old episode). And what immediately stood out to me were Tom's creepy eyes. He had an incredibly creepy, very cold look in his eyes, just look at him. I'd be afraid to be with him from the get-go. Some of us just have an intuition.
I watched that same show. He was a cold-blooded, narcissistic, creep, & I don't see what Carmen saw in him in the first place. I doubt if I'll ever get married again, but before I do, I'm going make him go to a psychiatrist & get a personality test.🤣😂
I noticed that. I noticed that because I've never seen him do that before. He repeats the same phrases to be clear, but his eyes say the phrases should go without saying, imo
@@mistrjt9213 the crazy eye/tiny mouth combo is visually distracting for sure. Definitely wouldn’t want to judge a person simply based on looks, but the story accompanying the visual makes me feel fine about calling him Crazy Eyes 🤣😅☠️
Good points regarding the importance of having empathy. Infidelity is, in most cases, a self serving activity that presents lack of empathy not only for the spouses but also for the children and even the infidelity partner. Consequently, people betrayed in this manner may not be able to control their anger and may engage in criminal acts. In addition, as you eloquently put, she was certainly lost in a fantasy land which prevented her to think logically and placed her on a vulnerable position. Thank you for the excellent review. I hope you have a lovely Sunday, Dr. Grande.❤
Hello my lovely friend /sister. Hope did your visit go with your mum. Can explain daughter death. The young man she was going out with bought a sports car (government trying to make into law no high powered cars for people on P plates) . She didn't tell me. On 10th January he took her for a drive lost control of the car went into a telegraph pole with the impact on her. Steve wasn't aware of who was coming to emergency department, when he saw young man immediately pulled sheet off to find lifeless body of of our daughter. The director of the emergency department came out of his office to see Steve had picked up our daughter's body and holding her like a baby.
@@cottontails9003 Hello friend. Visit with Mum want well thanks although she's very confused & changeable with the advanced dementia 😪💟💟. Thanks for sharing about your daughter. That is awful & very hard 😔😢🩺🚗for him to find her that way. So sad...😿Sending a large hug to you all & lots of love💞 before I head to 🛏 🤍🤍💜💜💫🫂🌸🍶🌃🕖🌜🌏
@@zenawarrior7442 Thank you my friend. It really hit Steve hard. You've probably been told this but some people with your mum condition still may remember things from their childhood. Sending love and lots of hugs to you both 😴😚❤💙💙💙💙💔🌷🌸🌹🍀✉🎇
@@cottontails9003 Welcome. Yes sure it hit him hard😐Yes her memory is in and out but with aphasia too lost her speech overall. Good night & thank you🦋🦋💕💙💕💙💤💤xoxo
A thinking man? Inept reasoning and preposterous excuses from the homicidal professor revealed his guilt. He was a vindictive, jealous murderer. Thank you Dr. Grande for insightful thoughts on this tragic case.
"Definitely not for murder or searched for NON homicidal purposes only" 😂😂😂😂 Mrs.Grande is a lucky woman! (If there is one!) Nothing better than a man with an awesome sense of humor! My husband (of almost 25 years) STILL cracks me up on a daily basis!!! Marry your best friend and you'll never be disappointed or lonely!
I've watched you're work and love you're sense of humour and no nonsense point of view. Greetings from the UK 🇬🇧. We appreciate you're very British sense of irony, lol. Anyway keep up the great content. Ps. Please try to find time to analyse some UK cases. Would greatly appreciate.
Oh man. You got me with the antique pillowcase prison group. 😆 (Should have seen it coming when you didn't pounce on the pillowcases when you first mentioned it.)
To think the murderer didn't want children but became a pro-active father. His police interview proves he was a whacky Professor. I'm not sure how Dr G got to describe Carmen as euphoric and in fantasy land unless it's thought she thought her troubles were over. Her daughter is an adult now. I hope she has fared well in life.
You Dr. Grande always hit the nail on the head! Your analogy is so accurate! Im praying for the families of the victims! This is just so very evil and their pain is unimaginable! Im praying also for all those traumatized kiddos and teachers! Their lives will forever be changed! So very sad!
Great video. Thank you Dr Grande for the great content you upload . It would seem this situation, was over custody of the daughter. Your humour is pure gold, it always makes my day. Thank you Dr Grande. Brilliant analysis and informative topic
My sister is also an English Professor at Kansas State and worked with Tom. He used to bring his daughter in to work sometimes and she would play with my niece when they were little. My sister was shocked that Tom was guilty. Apparently he really loved his daughter, and Carmin was a total wack job. I think Tom did it, but I think he thought he was saving Ciara from her psycho mother. It's horribly sad that now she has no parents. Don't have affairs with students. Ever.
@Dakalo DK That’s a little harsh… she didn’t deserve to die. She deserved to be thrust back into reality & realize the error of her ways, most likely by moving to CA as she intended & *not* getting her daughter. But he should not have killed her. An affair & strange beliefs / behavior does not necessitate murder. If you believe so, you should go to therapy as you sound like you could be a danger to the public or the ones in your life if they were ever to do something to you that you consider killing as retaliation acceptable.
Excellent video, Dr. Grande! I hope everyone watched until the end for your wise lesson in self-preservation. Being empathetic and keeping a grip on reality can be a lifesaver!
It would seem that his worst nightmare came true when the girl he had hoped to dominate broke free. Just imagine the brutality of that murder. He is a cruel individual and probably was a very hard marker.
Dr. Grande this story is no laughing matter, you always manage to make me lmao with your dry off the cuff humor…Antique weapons dealer bit is too funny!😂😂😂
Emotionally immature ( read childish selfish people) shouldn't enter initmate relationships when they have impulse control issues, and are disloyal. It leads to the ire, frustration and eventual mental breakdown of the prioritizing party. If youre going to die behind that, remember no amount of ignoring your hand in initiation will save you.. Don't cheat on your partner folks, in all forms.
@@pro_154 This line of reasoning is so ridiculous to me, cheating is not the answer and isn't the mature response to a flagging relationship but which of us isn't immature sometimes, you don't know the situation between two people in a marriage, maybe the marriage was sexless and she was looking for a fling and it turned into something more, who the fuck knows, but the suggestion that she was the immature one when the other party literally murdered the mother of his child because his feelings and probably ego were hurt suggests a bit of a disconnection from reality
Just a reminder I'm not diagnosing anybody; only speculating about what could be happening when someone with a terminal degree terminates someone like this.
9:35 "How to kill somebody quickly and quietly." When I think of the murder of Christ 9:35US, I often ask myself why killers are so pumped with such conviction of their righteousness that they would crucify someone for hours and hours in full view of the public with not a shred of shame or guilt. Some argue it's just a myth. But there is enough truth in the pathology of criminals to know they do indeed lack any remorse or misgivings but feel vindicated the more punishment they deliver.
Whenever any professional gets involved with their clients or employees I automatically loose any ounce of respect. It is particularly bad when a teacher, doctor or cop do it. As a professor that teaches postgraduates, I would NEVER cross that moral and ethical line. It is simply wrong.
Galaxy Brain Murray definitely thought he had an airtight narrative, all great writers know that villains in the story always forecast their how-to-get-away-with-murder searches and wife's blood in the car before its even revealed how the victim died. infidelity doesn't justify leaving his daughter an orphan, despicable.
Hi Dr. G! I found your analysis to be very informative👍👍. I especially like what you said about empathy in your final thoughts.. those are words of wisdom. Wishing you and your family a fabulous day!✌😎🌵
Some folks like Tom have a sense of "how could she possibly cheat on me, I am so smart and better than the Larrys of the world". His ego and misconceived self admiration was damaged to the point of no return. He struck out at Carman for screwing up his plans. In my opinion.
What a weird case and to be honest I would have expected better crime-planning skills from a college professor. But Doc, you have finally gained me as a patreon-supporter, so let me thank you again for the incredible work you do, and i wish you and your family all the best.
I agree with your analysis doctor Grande you are spot on. Infidelity in a marriage needs to be taken very seriously and the one who's committing the infidelity needs to take precautions. The true victim here is the daughter.
Grande you’re one of the most genuine TH-camrs and I commend you for your fucking awesome daily posts, I literally look forward to your new uploads daily man. I hope you enjoy making these videos as much as we do watching them !!
Sad. 😢 Dad was out of control with an overwhelming desire for revenge, which blocks the ability to think rationally. And mom couldn’t see reality either about the state of mind of her ex. So their poor kid ends up with no parents. What a legacy. In general women seem to be incredibly naive about dangerous men, whether a stranger, an ex, or an acquaintance / date, or boyfriend.
Dr. G, HOW did you manage to deliver that line… “necessary due to all the hysterical laughing”?!!! 😂 I had to rewind that. I guess you need to maintain a sense of humor when analyzing one tragic case after another. TY for all you do to educate us. Have a lovely Sunday. 🌵😌
With the bruises, cuts, and blood, he's done. If you're planning something nefarious, but sure not to use your phone, don't do any suspicious searches, don't go anywhere where there's a camera, and be sure you're smarter than the lead detective. Oh, and don't hire a "hitman."
Just hearing you summarize the initial investigation it's hilarious how bad this dude's lies were. It's like a parody of a guilty person under investigation.
After finally getting home from Peking duck (waited an hour for a bus that didn't show up - turns out there was a fire a block from the station), I can now relax and watch THIS video. Thank you for your analysis and dedication. Dr. Grande!
Again with the incredibly damning computer searches! I don't understand why some murderers use their home computers to search such topics. Haven't they heard of library computers? They may still get caught, but at least it's not quite as blatant. Thanks for another fascinating video, Dr. Grande!
This guy👀😳...his ego was stroked since the beginning. What professional person would date a student, unless he thinks he has complete control & was an opportunist. Also, she's "everywhere"🤔🤷♀️
It seems Tom and Carmen were both awful but just at different orders of magnitude.I felt bad for her for a moment, but then to have a child against your spouse's wishes? What did she think that child's life would be like? Getting involved in a faith-healing scam? Very shady. She sounds more than a little selfish. Nonetheless, I'm not sure we should entirely dismiss her claim that Tom Murray was the bigger problem --- yeah, people shouldn't have affairs behind their partner's backs BUT an affair on the part of one partner doesn't absolve the other of whatever negative contributions they're making to the marriage. Sometimes one spouse drives their partner out of the marriage, no? Life isn't simple, my friends, especially not marriage. And didn't the guy turn out to be a murderer? Someone who would do that might be at least a teensy-weensy bit difficult to be married to, I should think.
Martin Daly & Margo Wilson (and subsequent research) found that large age differences between spouses is an absurdly high correlate of spousal homicide, no matter which direction the age difference (man older or woman older).
i’m surprised none of the internet searches are “how do i prevent police from seeing my search history” i mean you’ve asked every thing else you might as well
I appreciated the dry humor on this analysis Doc. 'Antique weapons dealer..in pillows' that's a good one. I wonder if any women in the future in same situation will follow your advice. Hadn't read the Mr Lima died...that's sad. Sounds like Carmin might have not had much time with her lover either. The thing about these 48 hour shows is they NEVER or rarely point out what the WOMAN could have done differently to exacerbate the situation. In the 48 hour show on her murder Peter Van Sant never points out what a SCAM Conseguity or whatever the fake healer cult was.
It's refreshing to hear terms like "New Age nonsense" and "lost in fantasy"!
"I'm not guilty, but let me tell you all the reasons I'm probably not innocent".
......because I'm a "thinking man!"....Hilarious...
@@phoenixrising6245 these people basically believe that they are SO smart that their superior intellect will outwit any police officer they come across.
Your deadpan kills me, Dr. Grande. Interestingly enough, I just watched the 48 Hours documentary on this case. You provided more facts in less than 20 minutes! This gives me more time to shop for antique pillowcases!
Because their goal is to keep you infront of a screen for an hour
😂lol
@@MypronounIsKing for as many advertisements as they can fit in that time
Haha I just did as well.
Oh interesting will check it out thanks
My ex wife cheated alot. It sucked. Horrible part of my life. Eventually divorced her. Never once considered killing her or anyone.
Was that really love then??
*Joke
@Alexander Jimenez at one point for sure, I can't believe I have even say this, I don't judge other people's relationships. Lives but ur killing it, lol
@@tomnohmy1273 ...cracks one hell of a drug
not once? its not your fault i mean its not nice that somebody you loved so much just rejects you when you tried your best …
Well nobody plays around without a reason.
It's baffling how this criminal mastermind was caught
LOL
(TIC)
I could see him seeing some cops at a gas station and walking up to them and starting a conversation like "hey fellas, crazy weather we're having here. I was up at the log cabin and doing a lot of manual labor, most of it digging and cutting stuff up. Anyway, my ex wife is missing and they still haven't found the body. Pretty crazy right?" and the cops just looking at him in shock.
Was he super surprised when nobody believed him?🤷
His brilliance is staggering.
"definitely not for murder"
I spit my drink out 😂😂😂
Dr Grande is the smartest comedian ive ever seen!!!!
That "antiques weapon dealer" line had me literally laughing out loud!:)
“If you enjoy this video please like and share”. I’ve watched you every day for a year and I haven’t come across a video that I don’t like. As an extra treat, you have made videos that I have requested in the comments section. You rock 😎
This guy was my professor at KSU back in 2000-01, I swear to God, I leaned over and told my friend Patrick - "This dude gives off creepy murderer vibes". My hand to God!
Haha I do believe you, because look at the guy and your statement rings true!
I believe you
It was Old English literature.
@@TaurusMoon-hu3pd basically. It was more like some Thor viking shit. Ye olde yaulp shit. The guy had a Forrest Gump Flat top and wore a too tight black tshirt every day. He seemed like a horror movie director- very serious, zero humor.
@@Popdoc21he claims he was a “thinking man.” I’m not so sure about that!
So the guy agreed to be interviewed by police for 9 hours with no lawyer, then he not only agreed for them to search his house, and his car, and his computer, but he also pointed out to the evidence there so that police wouldn't accidentally miss it. At this point I am not sure which is higher, his IQ or his shoe size.
if he shut up completely he might have gotten away with it is the scary part...but the Lord works in mysterious ways
Sounds like he wanted to get caught
Tom Murray put a huge neon sign on himself saying "I DID IT!" by all the bizarre statements he made. The unreal amount of rage displayed in the murder shows this guy should never be free in public again. Thank you for the very detailed work you did on this, Dr. Grande
You must understand his anger. She committed a very serious biblical crime. The biblical punishment for adultery is stoning 🪨 to death ☠️💀 😡💢 🔥
@@pazuzuxx We don't live in the stone age anymore. Trying to excuse a MURDER done with poor emotional control with some biblical nonsense... There is crime and punishment established by the law. Has nothing to do with the bible.
"I'm a thinking man" then asks police if there's cameras in certain areas while writing down his alibi.
I wonder if the police were confused by how obvious he was being or if they had the insight to go "just him talk and he'll tell us the details".
@@JinJinDoe The law does is not a perfect representation of morality and does absolutely nothing to cheaters. They can do it in the most horrific way imaginable and walk away scot free. I think the anger is understandable, especially with the lack of justice, and is hard to have sympathy for a cheat. That said, it's clearly counterproductive as you likely end up in prison.
@@JinJinDoe blasphemy!
Poor child. Orphaned so young....he didn't want a child at first but killed for full custody?
Man, these folks sure bleed a lot. It’s a wonder they remained alive to have either affairs, murderous rages, suspicious google searches, or antique pillow case hunts.
I love how he preempted everything that appeared suspicious...which was quite a long list.
I wouldn’t trust them to own a antique pillowcase, blood is a nightmare to remove.
What a powerful message, Dr. Grande, "Empathy can help you to remain alive." So true and really helpful. Thank you.
Are you being fesisous?
I don’t know why his excuses are so funny to me:
“I was cutting a pineapple”
“I was looking for antique pillow cases”
“I was researching a CSI script”
“I picked a callous so I left blood behind”
Just….lol
Dr. Grande you kill me. Your deadpan sense of humor is priceless!
Dr. Grande zeroed in on euphoria in his analysis, which is the feeling many addicts say they prize most of all when doing drugs. Sadly, euphoria leaves you unaware of the dangers around you. Thank you Dr. Grande for bringing attention to the addictive nature of affairs and their potential for unforeseen deadly consequences. ❤️🌵
I'm wondering if there's some grade of victim blaming in this particular video.... A woman should be free to feel euforia (because a lover, because wine, because whatever) without concerning about murderous husbands- because the only one to be wrong should be only the murder. I think.
@@agostinodublino1387 I agree. There is no excuse for murder. Affairs or otherwise.
@@agostinodublino1387 Yeah, there's definitely an eyebrow raising "boys will be boys" angle brought up out of nowhere toward the end of this analysis.
@@agostinodublino1387 Why does everything have to be black or white? The fact that she got murdered for it does not excuse her infidelity. Different degrees of wrong, sure, but both actions are still wrong. And Dr. Grande was just explaining what he thought happened. Everything is labelled "victim blaming" these days, I'm frankly sick of it.
@@agostinodublino1387 and that sounds like a degree of no responsibility culture
😂 I work in a maximum security prison, I laughed so hard at the pillowcase/weapons comments. I had to rewind it and watch it again. Working in a prison changes you a lot and one aspect is definitely sense of humor.
Haha, yes. you do need a sense of humour, you are so right. I hope you can get some space and have fun outside your work. Even though it changes you, thanks for your work.
Sounds like Tom was in fact the problem. Taking a lover isn’t a particularly mature or honest way to end a shitty marriage - but dating your students isn’t particularly honest or professional either & murdering someone because they’ve rejected you really takes the shittiness cake.
Agree. Predatory behaviour on his behalf in going after a younger female student, didn't want children because he wanted to endlessly be the center of attention. Manipulative, neurotic as fuck, violent psychopath. Yes Carmen had an affair, followed quickly by a divorce. So what. If all the men who had affairs were murdered, there would be a lot less men in this world.
His interview was bizarre. What an idiot.
I so agree!
I thought they started dating after she was no longer his student.
@@bskee001 That's what they would say, isn't it?
There is a difference between rejection and betrayal. I am not excusing murder , but I often see people conflate betrayal with rejection , and there is a big difference.
The old "I was going to look at antique pillowcases" excuse.
The closing note on empathy gave me chills
Never thought about it that way
Uh oh
As a member of the antique pillowcase community it truly saddens me that a fellow collector could do such a thing😔
It’s for the best he’s in jail, he bleeds a lot! blood and antique pillowcases is a recipe for disaster.
Dr. Grande, you are a riot, especially when talking about the therapy job Carmen took & the antique pillowcases in prison. I was dying laughing.
Thank you, Dr Grande. Very sad story. The little girl is scarred for life; this will emerge only as she grows older.
True.
Yes, essentially an orphan. Both her parents put their own selfish interests above their child.
If his wife wasn’t cheating on him/leaving him, the homicide might never have occurred. Motive is everything. Although at the same time: how can you prove it wasn’t you if you have the motive? That’s the rub that always lands them in jail.
@@shitmandood Prosecution nailed this guy not by providing enough evidence but by a convincing motive. Not what usually occurs in murder trials. (It's peculiar to me w/blood evidence no DNA could be categorically attributed to him? Isn't that strange? Not enough $ to get proper testing?) And, of course, lucking out in the jury pool, who had common sense. She was too young to be married to someone who wanted "separate bedrooms", older and unromantic. He essentially drove her away; only natural she wanted more children and a "normal" husband. Not necessary to judge her so harshly; obviously not a very smart girl - simple I'd say; and not experienced in life enough to recognize a secret "confirmed bachelor" at heart. The "thinking" man who likes antique pillowcases could be free now? And his avuncular professorial schitc/to "lover" at work or soon enough, and plenty of gullible needy girls waiting. It's been almost 20 yrs.? I hope he's found out who he really is in prison, perfect place to be reborn, isn't it?
@@nomadscavenger Is he still alive? Maybe he used his PhD to survive prison.
As Carmin's family member - one big change. The murder was about controlling Carmin, not about having custody of their daughter.
How 2 people whom once loved each other lose so much respect for one another is just baffling to me…
Maybe their love was shallow, immature, even narcissistic. They lacked any deep connection or empathy for each other. For instance, Tom didn't want a child but when his wife left him he wouldn't let go of the child.
People often confuse lust with love unfortunately.
unfortunately the majority of ppl irl are trash human beings 😢
Get married. After a few years, it will become crystal clear.
There is one step from love to hatred is a famos saying.
Thank you Dr. Grande for all of the work you put into your case analysis..
I probably laughed too hard at the "antiques weapons dealer" comment
@@calreed4441 But not at the antique "pillowcases" remark?
@@frankpaya690 oh, definitely that as well. Just so... random...
Here here 🙌
I so loved the way you took the piss out of the 'antique pillowcases'. Love your work Dr!
"I would never kill my wife in a uncouth manner!"
(3 days before the police interview him)
"Hey Siri , How long does it take for a woman name Carmen to decompose if I killed her with a knife from my kitchen, on a Wednesday when it's 60° , partly cloudy with a slight wind out of the south?"
Doesn't it make you wonder what is the most "couth" way to murder?
I'm ashamed. You know why.
I remember watching the 48 hours episode about this case years ago for the first time (it's a very old episode). And what immediately stood out to me were Tom's creepy eyes. He had an incredibly creepy, very cold look in his eyes, just look at him. I'd be afraid to be with him from the get-go. Some of us just have an intuition.
I watched that same show. He was a cold-blooded, narcissistic, creep, & I don't see what Carmen saw in him in the first place. I doubt if I'll ever get married again, but before I do, I'm going make him go to a psychiatrist & get a personality test.🤣😂
I know it's wrong to judge a book by its cover but this guy really gives off "crazy eyes" vibes
I noticed that. I noticed that because I've never seen him do that before. He repeats the same phrases to be clear, but his eyes say the phrases should go without saying, imo
I also know it’s wrong to judge a book by its cover but his tiny mouth annoys me 😂
@@mistrjt9213 the crazy eye/tiny mouth combo is visually distracting for sure. Definitely wouldn’t want to judge a person simply based on looks, but the story accompanying the visual makes me feel fine about calling him Crazy Eyes 🤣😅☠️
@@yugenheorte6828 oh man too true! Grinch-y grin for sure!
@@zealandzen Are you talking about Dr. Grande? Lol. I think the original comment is about the perp, who definitely looks nuts in every pic.
Good points regarding the importance of having empathy. Infidelity is, in most cases, a self serving activity that presents lack of empathy not only for the spouses but also for the children and even the infidelity partner. Consequently, people betrayed in this manner may not be able to control their anger and may engage in criminal acts. In addition, as you eloquently put, she was certainly lost in a fantasy land which prevented her to think logically and placed her on a vulnerable position.
Thank you for the excellent review. I hope you have a lovely Sunday, Dr. Grande.❤
His explanations & excuses were silly, he talked his way into being guilty. Pillowcase & energy jokes were great. Thanks Dr G😊💛💛
Hello my lovely friend /sister. Hope did your visit go with your mum. Can explain daughter death. The young man she was going out with bought a sports car (government trying to make into law no high powered cars for people on P plates) . She didn't tell me. On 10th January he took her for a drive lost control of the car went into a telegraph pole with the impact on her. Steve wasn't aware of who was coming to emergency department, when he saw young man immediately pulled sheet off to find lifeless body of of our daughter. The director of the emergency department came out of his office to see Steve had picked up our daughter's body and holding her like a baby.
@@cottontails9003 Hello friend. Visit with Mum want well thanks although she's very confused & changeable with the advanced dementia 😪💟💟. Thanks for sharing about your daughter. That is awful & very hard 😔😢🩺🚗for him to find her that way. So sad...😿Sending a large hug to you all & lots of love💞 before I head to 🛏 🤍🤍💜💜💫🫂🌸🍶🌃🕖🌜🌏
@@zenawarrior7442 Thank you my friend. It really hit Steve hard. You've probably been told this but some people with your mum condition still may remember things from their childhood. Sending love and lots of hugs to you both 😴😚❤💙💙💙💙💔🌷🌸🌹🍀✉🎇
@@cottontails9003 Welcome. Yes sure it hit him hard😐Yes her memory is in and out but with aphasia too lost her speech overall. Good night & thank you🦋🦋💕💙💕💙💤💤xoxo
@@zenawarrior7442 Thank you my friend. Have a great sleep. 😴 ❤💙💚💋🎋🎋🎋✉🎇
A thinking man? Inept reasoning and preposterous excuses from the homicidal professor revealed his guilt. He was a vindictive, jealous murderer. Thank you Dr. Grande for insightful thoughts on this tragic case.
"Definitely not for murder or searched for NON homicidal purposes only" 😂😂😂😂
Mrs.Grande is a lucky woman! (If there is one!)
Nothing better than a man with an awesome sense of humor!
My husband (of almost 25 years) STILL cracks me up on a daily basis!!!
Marry your best friend and you'll never be disappointed or lonely!
Great videos Dr. Grande! But the best part is always your sense of humour with this serious face!
I've watched you're work and love you're sense of humour and no nonsense point of view. Greetings from the UK 🇬🇧.
We appreciate you're very British sense of irony, lol. Anyway keep up the great content.
Ps. Please try to find time to analyse some UK cases. Would greatly appreciate.
Your work/sense of humour/ sense of irony, not 'you're', which means 'you are'. Having said that, I agree with you! I'm British, too.
Oh man. You got me with the antique pillowcase prison group. 😆 (Should have seen it coming when you didn't pounce on the pillowcases when you first mentioned it.)
To think the murderer didn't want children but became a pro-active father. His police interview proves he was a whacky Professor. I'm not sure how Dr G got to describe Carmen as euphoric and in fantasy land unless it's thought she thought her troubles were over. Her daughter is an adult now. I hope she has fared well in life.
You Dr. Grande always hit the nail on the head! Your analogy is so accurate! Im praying for the families of the victims! This is just so very evil and their pain is unimaginable! Im praying also for all those traumatized kiddos and teachers! Their lives will forever be changed! So very sad!
The antique weapons dealer.. had me crying. 😊
It is mostly the promise of listening to this guys videos that gets me through the 4 hours of commuting
hard to do with all the giggling at Dr G's jokes
You are without a doubt the best creative on TH-cam. I love your insight, humor, and analysis of every case you present.
“I should have been more specific when I said I wanted to live in ‘Manhattan’”.
Could be worse ? " Honey we're moving to Paris ! "
Turns out to be Paris , Texas . !
Great video. Thank you Dr Grande for the great content you upload . It would seem this situation, was over custody of the daughter. Your humour is pure gold, it always makes my day. Thank you Dr Grande. Brilliant analysis and informative topic
My sister is also an English Professor at Kansas State and worked with Tom. He used to bring his daughter in to work sometimes and she would play with my niece when they were little. My sister was shocked that Tom was guilty. Apparently he really loved his daughter, and Carmin was a total wack job. I think Tom did it, but I think he thought he was saving Ciara from her psycho mother. It's horribly sad that now she has no parents. Don't have affairs with students. Ever.
I have no empathy for Carmin
yes, a boundary was broken
@Dakalo DK
That’s a little harsh… she didn’t deserve to die. She deserved to be thrust back into reality & realize the error of her ways, most likely by moving to CA as she intended & *not* getting her daughter. But he should not have killed her. An affair & strange beliefs / behavior does not necessitate murder. If you believe so, you should go to therapy as you sound like you could be a danger to the public or the ones in your life if they were ever to do something to you that you consider killing as retaliation acceptable.
@a.evelyn5498 well said. The no empathy comment was unnecessarily cold and creepy.
@beaulieuc8910 that didn't necessitate murder.
Excellent video, Dr. Grande! I hope everyone watched until the end for your wise lesson in self-preservation. Being empathetic and keeping a grip on reality can be a lifesaver!
It would seem that his worst nightmare came true when the girl he had hoped to dominate broke free. Just imagine the brutality of that murder. He is a cruel individual and probably was a very hard marker.
😂😂😂x
Great video, Dr. Grande
The descriptiion of that energy therapy certainly caused hysterical laughter from me.
Love the wit and deadpan you have been inserting into your analyses.
Hello Dr Grande, good to see you.
The subtle humour in these is amazing. The research is flawless.
Another gem of a video. One of my favourite channels! Greetings from the deep south. Of Africa 🌍.
Dr. Grande this story is no laughing matter, you always manage to make me lmao with your dry off the cuff humor…Antique weapons dealer bit is too funny!😂😂😂
I must remember to append the phrase “definitely not for murder” to all my searches.
Married narcissists can't tolerate feeling out of control of their human "property." 😢
Hi
Emotionally immature ( read childish selfish people) shouldn't enter initmate relationships when they have impulse control issues, and are disloyal.
It leads to the ire, frustration and eventual mental breakdown of the prioritizing party.
If youre going to die behind that, remember no amount of ignoring your hand in initiation will save you..
Don't cheat on your partner folks, in all forms.
Hello
I agree
@@pro_154 This line of reasoning is so ridiculous to me, cheating is not the answer and isn't the mature response to a flagging relationship but which of us isn't immature sometimes, you don't know the situation between two people in a marriage, maybe the marriage was sexless and she was looking for a fling and it turned into something more, who the fuck knows, but the suggestion that she was the immature one when the other party literally murdered the mother of his child because his feelings and probably ego were hurt suggests a bit of a disconnection from reality
Just a reminder I'm not diagnosing anybody; only speculating about what could be happening when someone with a terminal degree terminates someone like this.
9:35 "How to kill somebody quickly and quietly." When I think of the murder of Christ 9:35US, I often ask myself why killers are so pumped with such conviction of their righteousness that they would crucify someone for hours and hours in full view of the public with not a shred of shame or guilt. Some argue it's just a myth. But there is enough truth in the pathology of criminals to know they do indeed lack any remorse or misgivings but feel vindicated the more punishment they deliver.
Whenever any professional gets involved with their clients or employees I automatically loose any ounce of respect. It is particularly bad when a teacher, doctor or cop do it. As a professor that teaches postgraduates, I would NEVER cross that moral and ethical line. It is simply wrong.
As usual I learned something useful from Dr.Grande. Wise words and deadpan humour makes my day. Thank you for all your hard work. 👍
Tom should have lawyered up and not said a damn thing! He's probably be free today.
Hi Dr Grande! I’ve missed you so much while I was out of town.. can’t wait to binge!
Galaxy Brain Murray definitely thought he had an airtight narrative, all great writers know that villains in the story always forecast their how-to-get-away-with-murder searches and wife's blood in the car before its even revealed how the victim died. infidelity doesn't justify leaving his daughter an orphan, despicable.
Did you notice how every time there's blood evidence they were doing something for their child and either cut themselves or got a nosebleed on the way
Wow ! for once you actually can tell just by looking. Thanks Doc, your the best .
Hi Dr. G! I found your analysis to be very informative👍👍. I especially like what you said about empathy in your final thoughts.. those are words of wisdom. Wishing you and your family a fabulous day!✌😎🌵
The prison-pillowcase-business got me….
The sound quality is so good! But where is he hiding the microphone??
Some folks like Tom have a sense of "how could she possibly cheat on me, I am so smart and better than the Larrys of the world". His ego and misconceived self admiration was damaged to the point of no return. He struck out at Carman for screwing up his plans. In my opinion.
Being left for a "Larry" though, is humiliating to say the very least.
maybe he should have read the book "killing for dummies" too and put it in his bookshelf...
Thoroughly enjoyable. Thank you Dr. Grande.
What a weird case and to be honest I would have expected better crime-planning skills from a college professor. But Doc, you have finally gained me as a patreon-supporter, so let me thank you again for the incredible work you do, and i wish you and your family all the best.
I agree with your analysis doctor Grande you are spot on. Infidelity in a marriage needs to be taken very seriously and the one who's committing the infidelity needs to take precautions. The true victim here is the daughter.
Another very thought-provoking video, Dr. Grande! ♡♡
Police: Tom, you've been extremely helpful, but we don't have enough to charge you. Could you give us a little bit more?
Police always say this when a police officer looks like he has murdered his gf.... oh no evidence....
Good evening Dr Grande, excellent analysis. As always I learn something new from your videos.
Have a wonderful Sunday.
Grande you’re one of the most genuine TH-camrs and I commend you for your fucking awesome daily posts, I literally look forward to your new uploads daily man. I hope you enjoy making these videos as much as we do watching them !!
You & many others. Especially love the deadpan approach.
Totally brings it home -huh?
@@katiesimpson8517 oh by a long shot the guys just fucking hilarious lmao the monotone voice everything about this dude is a brand
Sad. 😢 Dad was out of control with an overwhelming desire for revenge, which blocks the ability to think rationally. And mom couldn’t see reality either about the state of mind of her ex. So their poor kid ends up with no parents. What a legacy. In general women seem to be incredibly naive about dangerous men, whether a stranger, an ex, or an acquaintance / date, or boyfriend.
Dr. G, HOW did you manage to deliver that line… “necessary due to all the hysterical laughing”?!!! 😂 I had to rewind that. I guess you need to maintain a sense of humor when analyzing one tragic case after another. TY for all you do to educate us. Have a lovely Sunday. 🌵😌
Belle, I 100% agree. That absolutely killed me. 🤣Bravo Dr. Grande.
I had to rewind it too :D so gd funny
@@phil4986 👏🏼
@@mattpeters4700 👏🏼
It's called the Carmen line, I believe.
3/26/23 Feel sorry for the daughter ❤️ Tom is where he belongs. Carmen, rip🌹💜
He deserved to be cheated on. Anyone who murders their spouse for cheating or any reason..DESERVES to be cheated on in the first place.
With the bruises, cuts, and blood, he's done. If you're planning something nefarious, but sure not to use your phone, don't do any suspicious searches, don't go anywhere where there's a camera, and be sure you're smarter than the lead detective. Oh, and don't hire a "hitman."
Murder by definition is illogical. Like no matter how careful this guy thinks he is...he's going to be the prime suspect.
Just hearing you summarize the initial investigation it's hilarious how bad this dude's lies were. It's like a parody of a guilty person under investigation.
After finally getting home from Peking duck (waited an hour for a bus that didn't show up - turns out there was a fire a block from the station), I can now relax and watch THIS video. Thank you for your analysis and dedication. Dr. Grande!
Again with the incredibly damning computer searches! I don't understand why some murderers use their home computers to search such topics. Haven't they heard of library computers? They may still get caught, but at least it's not quite as blatant. Thanks for another fascinating video, Dr. Grande!
Excellent ! Self defense empathy. Very good. Thank you.
This guy👀😳...his ego was stroked since the beginning. What professional person would date a student, unless he thinks he has complete control & was an opportunist. Also, she's "everywhere"🤔🤷♀️
Excellent analysis. Thanks Dr. Grande!
Cheating seems to be a far more way to get someone killed, crazy that people do it anyway
Thanks for another great video Dr Grande!
Proper growing on me this guy, the way he delivers the jabs so seriously is hilarious
Could you look at the Mary Day case,it's really interesting,and very confusing at the same time.
It seems Tom and Carmen were both awful but just at different orders of magnitude.I felt bad for her for a moment, but then to have a child against your spouse's wishes? What did she think that child's life would be like? Getting involved in a faith-healing scam? Very shady. She sounds more than a little selfish.
Nonetheless, I'm not sure we should entirely dismiss her claim that Tom Murray was the bigger problem --- yeah, people shouldn't have affairs behind their partner's backs BUT an affair on the part of one partner doesn't absolve the other of whatever negative contributions they're making to the marriage. Sometimes one spouse drives their partner out of the marriage, no? Life isn't simple, my friends, especially not marriage. And didn't the guy turn out to be a murderer? Someone who would do that might be at least a teensy-weensy bit difficult to be married to, I should think.
Like the new shirt, Dr. G! 👌
I 💗 your tongue in cheek humor (vintage pillow cases)
Martin Daly & Margo Wilson (and subsequent research) found that large age differences between spouses is an absurdly high correlate of spousal homicide, no matter which direction the age difference (man older or woman older).
i’m surprised none of the internet searches are “how do i prevent police from seeing my search history” i mean you’ve asked every thing else you might as well
I appreciated the dry humor on this analysis Doc. 'Antique weapons dealer..in pillows' that's a good one. I wonder if any women in the future in same situation will follow your advice. Hadn't read the Mr Lima died...that's sad. Sounds like Carmin might have not had much time with her lover either. The thing about these 48 hour shows is they NEVER or rarely point out what the WOMAN could have done differently to exacerbate the situation. In the 48 hour show on her murder Peter Van Sant never points out what a SCAM Conseguity or whatever the fake healer cult was.
ABSOLUTELY LOVE YOUR HUMOR 😂😂😂