In my relationship I was showing red flags, being clingy and such. I realized I was going to push him away, and I pulled back, fighting the urge to be clingy. it was really hard at first I had to go against my emotions it made me feel like I was going to lose him, but I knew if I continued I'd lose him anyway. but when I pulled back a couple days later he chased me.lol I couldn't believe it worked. now when I start to feel insecure because of my past relationship I pull back a little bit and fight the urge to be clingy, it works every time and our relationship is getting stronger and stronger little by little!😃👍
a guy who wants you badly would stay. you have no buisness trying to prove your worth to him. he should try proving his worth to you. what happened to the Era of guys chasing a woman and making their motives clear
I absolutely adore your raw, honest, "male perspective"...you crack me up by your random self-interruptions about your hair, the lighting, people moving outside around you, etc but mostly the down to earth and real advice from a guys perspective.
this girl needs to be with someone who adores her. putting up with less than that is toxic to a person's self-esteem. but as you say, easier said than done; the main issue is tackling the fear of being alone. when you have a full life in other spheres, being single still sucks, but your relationship status isn't an indicator of your worth as a person.
Shouldn't she pull back a little bit to show her value?! She's invested so much time without red flags that if she did that wouldn't he'd be like "heyyyy where did she gooooo?!"
I totally agree with you and in the mean time until he make his feelings known about you , women don't need to emotionally invest she should date others guys . "NOT SLEEP AROUND" but date until he wants exclusively.
Rose Phillips until that guy finally makes up his mind, and as long as shes single and ensures any other dudes shes with use protection, she should Date AND fuck as many dudes as she wants or not date or fuck any at all if that's what she wants to do too.
Man. If I have to do all this. Then I'll rather move on. I have made some mistakes probably with this guy. But I'm not going to chase him. I'm done. I tried. I will move on to the next.
Same situation but with a co-worker for the least 1.5 years. We know everything about each other. We have the same breaks together and we talk About everything, no outside handing out. I told him last month that I have secured a teaching job in a town closer to my family for the next school year. He first got sad, then started to have deeper general conversation about relationships and love. He asked me to read the book 5 love languages, then talked for 3 hrs about it, then he wrote down his ways to show and accept love and gave it to me, and he shows me appreciation through my main love languages. I know we can't do anything now because we work together and it's been 2 years since his break up so he's healing. I'm enjoying the friendship but to be honest I'm very afraid to lose him as a friend after I leave. I am in the friend path, but it's hard to not wonder has his feeling grown for me like my feelings have grown for him? I tell myself he wants me around for convenience, to be heard, because it protects my heart.
She's acting like a begger (coming a place of lack). He's obviously going through his own stuff and is emotionally unavailable. Dealing with diivorce is a FUBAR process.....I know what he's going through. She's definitely is giving to this man in order to get love from him, but it ain't going to work. He needs to go through his process on his own. She shouldn't wait on him because there's no guarantee he's even going to choose her after he gets his head and heart right. She should be dating and seeing other men (have multiple suiters, like in the olden days). She needs to stop acting like a used car salesman and stop waiting in front of his 'Man Cave' like he's the prize. Even if he comes out, he won't respect you.
Chiquitacyborg....Oh my FUBAR!! 🤣😁😂 I love that expression and haven’t heard it in soooo long. Haha...I’ll have to start saying that one again. Thank you!
+Elliot Scott Dating you just actually confirmed that im doing the right thing. Im not depending my happiness to anyone, maybe that's why he's still there and keep on telling me that he's happy being with me, stress free, relaxing and i always make him laugh. I admit, once i became so needy when it comes to communication, i worried when he wasnt calling me for days. Now, im not worrying anymore..i never initiate, he always reach out for me. Im too busy doing my life, work, being with friends, family and myself, spending my "me" time. i can always generate my own happiness. thank you for this video, wish you all the best.
What is included in the 'friends with benefits' category? Does the guy not take you on dates? Just hooking up? What if you haven't done anything yet? Does the guy no talk to you often? What if it's long distance so it's prolongs everything?
there is a guy I am interested in he moved because of his job, and I have not seen him in years but he is on social media, so I reached out we messaged for a bit and I left him one today about an article he posted but how do I get his attention without doing too much?
Hi Elliot I think ur advice is great! However, why don't u inform these women that at the end of the day u can like a guy as much as u want but u have to luv urself. Guys can SMELL DESPERATION!!!! Ladies ur the PRIZE!!! If ur not wanted disappear! Like Beyoncé said in Single Ladies like a ghost I'll be gone!!!
Elliot .. I do learn a lot from your videos. I'm following you from Egypt 🤗🤗🤗👍👍👍 Thanks for sharing your experience! You're a great information provider 🌸
don't give a shit what they think. Your thoughts on a situation is going to be the thoughts and ideas he adopts so make sure you're at your 100% all the time aorund them.
How can i create value without having social media (facebook/insta)? he can´t see how many guys "like" my picture, so thats bad? A guy will enter a relationship based on "validation of other guys" ?
My ex bf broke up with me last Saturday. The breakup went pretty smooth... I asked him why he wanted to, but overall the breakup went pretty smooth because I only said "Ok. Bye". Today I texted him a question about one of the places we went on a date a while ago, and he only gave me a 1-word answer. What does this mean? Note that he didn't block me from texting him.
Sorry but the only reason he didn't block you is because he wants access to you. Only reason he want access as a backup in case there isn't (in his eyes) any one better around. So forget him he not the guy for you. You are worth someone who see how awesome and the prize that you are.
There's so much crazy talk (not this video) on the net about relationships it gets confusing and disheartening sometimes. Can’t pinpoint exactly what it is that works so well by reading Nelly Bentlonar's Commitment paper to "wake him up" and make him love you like no other.... but to each her own :)
we've bin hanging out with this guy for 1 yr now,I slowly developed strong feelings for him unknowingly, I felt presd n told him how I feel about him, he walked away,what can I do to get him back? he's a good friend I wud not like to loose
We have mad attraction and chemistry (I think that he might actually be addicted to me now) but I am not sure if he is just taking his time to get to know me, since he went through a really nasty divorce a little over a year ago. I don't know what to think man. The guy likes me, he's highly attracted to me, it's been over four months now. I cut him off and now he is trying so hard to win my affection. If I DO give him one more chance, and he starts to test me again, then it should be enough time to give him an ultimatum.
Oh yes this is me I’ve been with this guy for five my female who is doing the same thing that your choir is going through first we were friends with benefits then we were boyfriend and girlfriend then he pulled away came back now we’re just friends with benefit for now we put our relationship on homeland but every time I say hey you want to hang out or see me he always makes excuses I want to see him at least once a week but it’s like twice a week before I can see how I am I pressuring him too much to see me
What if you work for him? He said he doesn't do anything with me because he doesn't want a relationship with me. I did push him away and l did have the talk with him. He is attracted to me. He only says keep it professional now Can this change his perceptive of me. I fell lm below 50 %. He doesn't see me because he wants to get close. 2 he came close and l picked up and left. We were together before but now not for a while. So that's why he won't see me. How can l change this
what is going on when a guy you have known awhile as a fwb asks to live with you cause you have great chemistry and we get along, then he just pulls away and acts like things are just the same...he is giving me mixed signals. I'm not a clingy girl but I got my limits....what's up you think?
Celina Cel There's no need for an ultimatum. Don't give boyfriend or husband privileges to a man who hasn't made it abundantly clear through actions and words that he's your man. Go out with other guys, see your friends, be less available. Men don't want "old faithful."
What would it mean if the guy your with ask the girl " how do you feel about me?" and he asks this while kissing you passionately and the girl responds, " what do you mean?" and he gets upset and walks away.
How long should I give my ex boyfriend and I to go through “reconnection” before I ask what the deal is? Ps. There was a lot of love, but aLOT of fighing in our relationship. He’s said he wants to “take baby steps” to be sure this is a good thing for both of us. We had sex three times when we first reconnected, but for the last two months we have not had sex at all. It has been a total of nearly 3 months that we have been trying to reconnect. How long do I give him?🤔 PPS. Thanks for all you do!
Hi Elliot, i wonder if i can buy a telephone session with you through skype or something because i live in sweden? I realised i really need your advice. cant live on like this
This guy really likes me but when we finished working at this place, I asked him if he want to see me again and he said it would be too difficult because he is moving to another city for 1 year in uni. I then confessed my love to him by message ( we were just flirting at work and got to know each other a bit more by message but we were not in a relationship). He ignored that message. He is very introvert because he gave me all the signs that the likes me, we laughed a lot together but I don't understand why he refused to see me again. Can it be due to the fact that he is catholic and I am muslim ? (even though we are not really into religion) Or because he is shocked ? He is the kind of guy who does not express his feelings and he used to get nervous around me. Should I send him a birthday message even after he ignored my message ?
I'm confused, why is this girl still trying. Self value and worth does not seem to be present in this girl. She should move on and let him know that she looking for more now and needs to move on, take care.
Can you do a video on how to de-escalate things physically if you've moved too quickly. (If such a thing is possible) I had sex with a guy on the second date and wish I had waited!
just slow it down. I know what you mean in the fact that he's probably expecting it now but just go out with him in public and don't go back to his place. I'd make him meet you for small meet ups. Tell him, that you have something to do at 3 but got a couple hours to kill. Wanna do something? So that way you have an excuse to leave. In general, have an exit strategy that's a given time and nothing should happen.
I don't understand how you let her sleep with this guy when clearly he said he does not want a relationship. She wants a relationship, she should not be having sex with him at all. What kind of advice are you giving to let a girl give herself to a man that clearly just wants to take things for free. She is in a very hurtful road & you are trying to cover it with explanations that will never get her what she wants.
What do you mean stuck? There has to be some way to change it. I will google and get back with you. I'm thinking you should change colors for the seasons.
Check out my course Attraction Academy and get 20% off with discount code: “20off!” bit.ly/cs20ff
In my relationship I was showing red flags, being clingy and such. I realized I was going to push him away, and I pulled back, fighting the urge to be clingy. it was really hard at first I had to go against my emotions it made me feel like I was going to lose him, but I knew if I continued I'd lose him anyway. but when I pulled back a couple days later he chased me.lol I couldn't believe it worked. now when I start to feel insecure because of my past relationship I pull back a little bit and fight the urge to be clingy, it works every time and our relationship is getting stronger and stronger little by little!😃👍
Good keep it up!!!
how you do ? coz I am trying to pull back then it's hard
Elliot Scott YUP!!!
You were lucky, it doesn't always end up that way.
My I am needy and clingy!! My boyfriend loves it! Be who you are because you can’t pretend for along time!
a guy who wants you badly would stay. you have no buisness trying to prove your worth to him. he should try proving his worth to you. what happened to the Era of guys chasing a woman and making their motives clear
chivalry is dead and women killed it. get used to it!
@@Richjunior1 Not to mention that guys get rejected, flaked on and ghosted so much that they just get damn sick and tired of dealing with it.
I absolutely adore your raw, honest, "male perspective"...you crack me up by your random self-interruptions about your hair, the lighting, people moving outside around you, etc but mostly the down to earth and real advice from a guys perspective.
I love to hear that thank you
this girl needs to be with someone who adores her. putting up with less than that is toxic to a person's self-esteem. but as you say, easier said than done; the main issue is tackling the fear of being alone. when you have a full life in other spheres, being single still sucks, but your relationship status isn't an indicator of your worth as a person.
McFraneth agree...
Shouldn't she pull back a little bit to show her value?! She's invested so much time without red flags that if she did that wouldn't he'd be like "heyyyy where did she gooooo?!"
I think I am in the friend with fringe benefits category. I truly like this guy.
I totally agree with you and in the mean time until he make his feelings known about you , women don't need to emotionally invest she should date others guys . "NOT SLEEP AROUND" but date until he wants exclusively.
Rose Phillips until that guy finally makes up his mind, and as long as shes single and ensures any other dudes shes with use protection, she should Date AND fuck as many dudes as she wants or not date or fuck any at all if that's what she wants to do too.
Sleeping around is not good for anyone no matter what.
I love our car conversations Elliott. It’s endearing ❤️
Man. If I have to do all this. Then I'll rather move on. I have made some mistakes probably with this guy. But I'm not going to chase him. I'm done. I tried. I will move on to the next.
Your videos are so spot on! There are so many dating advice videos on TH-cam but yours are definitely my favorite!
This guy is a genius.
Same situation but with a co-worker for the least 1.5 years. We know everything about each other. We have the same breaks together and we talk About everything, no outside handing out.
I told him last month that I have secured a teaching job in a town closer to my family for the next school year. He first got sad, then started to have deeper general conversation about relationships and love. He asked me to read the book 5 love languages, then talked for 3 hrs about it, then he wrote down his ways to show and accept love and gave it to me, and he shows me appreciation through my main love languages. I know we can't do anything now because we work together and it's been 2 years since his break up so he's healing. I'm enjoying the friendship but to be honest I'm very afraid to lose him as a friend after I leave. I am in the friend path, but it's hard to not wonder has his feeling grown for me like my feelings have grown for him? I tell myself he wants me around for convenience, to be heard, because it protects my heart.
So was she sleeping with him while he was making his decision about her? See I don't want to sleep with him until I know he is IN.
Robin None of your business This is the only way. A guy will use you if you let him.
She's acting like a begger (coming a place of lack). He's obviously going through his own stuff and is emotionally unavailable.
Dealing with diivorce is a FUBAR process.....I know what he's going through.
She's definitely is giving to this man in order to get love from him, but it ain't going to work.
He needs to go through his process on his own.
She shouldn't wait on him because there's no guarantee he's even going to choose her after he gets his head and heart right.
She should be dating and seeing other men (have multiple suiters, like in the olden days).
She needs to stop acting like a used car salesman and stop waiting in front of his 'Man Cave' like he's the prize.
Even if he comes out, he won't respect you.
Chiquitacyborg....Oh my FUBAR!! 🤣😁😂 I love that expression and haven’t heard it in soooo long. Haha...I’ll have to start saying that one again. Thank you!
Probably my favorite video by you and it couldn't have come at a more perfect time! Thank you Elliot
exactly what i need to hear! thank you!
+Elliot Scott Dating you just actually confirmed that im doing the right thing. Im not depending my happiness to anyone, maybe that's why he's still there and keep on telling me that he's happy being with me, stress free, relaxing and i always make him laugh. I admit, once i became so needy when it comes to communication, i worried when he wasnt calling me for days. Now, im not worrying anymore..i never initiate, he always reach out for me. Im too busy doing my life, work, being with friends, family and myself, spending my "me" time. i can always generate my own happiness. thank you for this video, wish you all the best.
Great video, thanks for the fantastic advice Elliot! You hit the nail on the head. :)
Thank you
This is awesome. Exactly where I am at. Thanks Elliott
I transitioned from girlfriend for 6 mos to ex girlfriend with benefits zone for 2 mos and now I’m trying to get back into girlfriend zone.
omg I didnt know you have a tongue piercing! LOLLL I THOUGHT IT WAS SKITTLES OMG LOLLL . Love you videos btw
Maybe it is a skittle lol
What is included in the 'friends with benefits' category? Does the guy not take you on dates? Just hooking up? What if you haven't done anything yet? Does the guy no talk to you often? What if it's long distance so it's prolongs everything?
“Ayyyyyg shells “ lol. It’s a northern thing. We used to say it that way too when I lived up north. No right or wrong way thought. ;)
Also I love your videos I think you doing a wonderful job giving this type of information to women that really need s to hear it.
there is a guy I am interested in he moved because of his job, and I have not seen him in years but he is on social media, so I reached out we messaged for a bit and I left him one today about an article he posted but how do I get his attention without doing too much?
Hi Elliot I think ur advice is great! However, why don't u inform these women that at the end of the day u can like a guy as much as u want but u have to luv urself. Guys can SMELL DESPERATION!!!! Ladies ur the PRIZE!!! If ur not wanted disappear! Like Beyoncé said in Single Ladies like a ghost I'll be gone!!!
Damn right
good advice
This was the best advice ever!!!!!
Thank you :)
9:45 I wouldn't say it in words, though, just behave like a good but somewhat distant and very busy friend... lve
Elliot .. I do learn a lot from your videos. I'm following you from Egypt 🤗🤗🤗👍👍👍
Thanks for sharing your experience! You're a great information provider 🌸
Binge watching your videos. Big help thank you 😊
suppose this guy surrounds himself with friends that dont like you and are jealous? how do you elevate your status then?
don't give a shit what they think. Your thoughts on a situation is going to be the thoughts and ideas he adopts so make sure you're at your 100% all the time aorund them.
great advice, thanks!!
How can i create value without having social media (facebook/insta)? he can´t see how many guys "like" my picture, so thats bad? A guy will enter a relationship based on "validation of other guys" ?
My ex bf broke up with me last Saturday. The breakup went pretty smooth... I asked him why he wanted to, but overall the breakup went pretty smooth because I only said "Ok. Bye". Today I texted him a question about one of the places we went on a date a while ago, and he only gave me a 1-word answer. What does this mean?
Note that he didn't block me from texting him.
raescool334 this is a neat situation I wish someone would answer this question this lady's question raescool334
raescool334 he doesnt like you anymore
move on, cause he doesn't want anything to do with you...
@@y2m3e.45 Yet he didn't block her. Don't know what he said, but obviously will want her back if whatever doesn't work out.
Sorry but the only reason he didn't block you is because he wants access to you. Only reason he want access as a backup in case there isn't (in his eyes) any one better around. So forget him he not the guy for you. You are worth someone who see how awesome and the prize that you are.
There's so much crazy talk (not this video) on the net about relationships it gets confusing and disheartening sometimes. Can’t pinpoint exactly what it is that works so well by reading Nelly Bentlonar's Commitment paper to "wake him up" and make him love you like no other.... but to each her own :)
we've bin hanging out with this guy for 1 yr now,I slowly developed strong feelings for him unknowingly, I felt presd n told him how I feel about him, he walked away,what can I do to get him back? he's a good friend I wud not like to loose
That is too long to answer here. An email or phone session could help you. Or my how to get an ex back guide.
We have mad attraction and chemistry (I think that he might actually be addicted to me now) but I am not sure if he is just taking his time to get to know me, since he went through a really nasty divorce a little over a year ago. I don't know what to think man. The guy likes me, he's highly attracted to me, it's been over four months now. I cut him off and now he is trying so hard to win my affection. If I DO give him one more chance, and he starts to test me again, then it should be enough time to give him an ultimatum.
Update?
Maybe it’s a bit more like learning to be able to dance your dance together.
We love you Elliot❤
would you say the same thing for how to rebuild when you have committed some red flags???? .....just start again with building slow and slow and slow
Oh yes this is me I’ve been with this guy for five my female who is doing the same thing that your choir is going through first we were friends with benefits then we were boyfriend and girlfriend then he pulled away came back now we’re just friends with benefit for now we put our relationship on homeland but every time I say hey you want to hang out or see me he always makes excuses I want to see him at least once a week but it’s like twice a week before I can see how I am I pressuring him too much to see me
What if you work for him?
He said he doesn't do anything with me because he doesn't want a relationship with me. I did push him away and l did have the talk with him. He is attracted to me. He only says keep it professional now
Can this change his perceptive of me. I fell lm below 50 %. He doesn't see me because he wants to get close. 2 he came close and l picked up and left. We were together before but now not for a while. So that's why he won't see me. How can l change this
Are they still together 2022 now?
Can a guy initially see you as girlfriend material and then pull away If you show red flags- shifting you into the FWB category?
what is going on when a guy you have known awhile as a fwb asks to live with you cause you have great chemistry and we get along, then he just pulls away and acts like things are just the same...he is giving me mixed signals. I'm not a clingy girl but I got my limits....what's up you think?
Hi! I can't download the free ebook
how do you give him the ultimatum?
Celina Cel There's no need for an ultimatum. Don't give boyfriend or husband privileges to a man who hasn't made it abundantly clear through actions and words that he's your man. Go out with other guys, see your friends, be less available. Men don't want "old faithful."
Are you saying ask him to hang out, only if you have been seeing each other for a few months? Or can you ask him to hang out earlier on?
After we pay for a session do you contact us??
I need your help! I feel like I'm pushing my bf away
What would it mean if the guy your with ask the girl " how do you feel about me?" and he asks this while kissing you passionately and the girl responds, " what do you mean?" and he gets upset and walks away.
It means he's insecure and needs to take a chill pill.
Elliot Scott Dating lol, ur funny.
How long should I give my ex boyfriend and I to go through “reconnection” before I ask what the deal is?
Ps. There was a lot of love, but aLOT of fighing in our relationship. He’s said he wants to “take baby steps” to be sure this is a good thing for both of us.
We had sex three times when we first reconnected, but for the last two months we have not had sex at all. It has been a total of nearly 3 months that we have been trying to reconnect. How long do I give him?🤔
PPS. Thanks for all you do!
Hi Elliot, i wonder if i can buy a telephone session with you through skype or something because i live in sweden? I realised i really need your advice. cant live on like this
This guy really likes me but when we finished working at this place, I asked him if he want to see me again and he said it would be too difficult because he is moving to another city for 1 year in uni. I then confessed my love to him by message ( we were just flirting at work and got to know each other a bit more by message but we were not in a relationship). He ignored that message. He is very introvert because he gave me all the signs that the likes me, we laughed a lot together but I don't understand why he refused to see me again. Can it be due to the fact that he is catholic and I am muslim ? (even though we are not really into religion) Or because he is shocked ? He is the kind of guy who does not express his feelings and he used to get nervous around me. Should I send him a birthday message even after he ignored my message ?
And he gets nervous cause he don't want to blow his cover! Like when guys call you sweetie, baby, it's cause they can't remember your name! Come on!
When he texted me, he said...hey u, and I thought well he's an idiot! I think he's a selfish person and one sided.
I'm confused, why is this girl still trying. Self value and worth does not seem to be present in this girl. She should move on and let him know that she looking for more now and needs to move on, take care.
Can you do a video on how to de-escalate things physically if you've moved too quickly. (If such a thing is possible) I had sex with a guy on the second date and wish I had waited!
just slow it down. I know what you mean in the fact that he's probably expecting it now but just go out with him in public and don't go back to his place. I'd make him meet you for small meet ups. Tell him, that you have something to do at 3 but got a couple hours to kill. Wanna do something? So that way you have an excuse to leave. In general, have an exit strategy that's a given time and nothing should happen.
+Elliot Scott Dating thanks Elliot. I'm going to try this!
I don't understand how you let her sleep with this guy when clearly he said he does not want a relationship.
She wants a relationship, she should not be having sex with him at all.
What kind of advice are you giving to let a girl give herself to a man that clearly just wants to take things for free.
She is in a very hurtful road & you are trying to cover it with explanations that will never get her what she wants.
Do you ever change the color of your tongue piercing?
It's stuck that's the only reason I still have it ha
What do you mean stuck? There has to be some way to change it. I will google and get back with you. I'm thinking you should change colors for the seasons.
Eloot Angelina Jolie is single are you gonna date her?
Being clingy is cute
thaske
I was so confused by what's on your tongue lolol
Girl you already know haha
Why do women?
1 st Haha :） am I ?
Always :)
I so don't have time for this bs mind games. I'm not a doormat so take a hike.
Nail on the head, you have to have stamina to deal with s Snail .......