The Signs You’re Entering a Narcissistic Relationship
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 12 ก.ค. 2023
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Narcissist never asks how you are feeling, how your day is going . They r not curious about you AT ALL!
Its all about themselves selfishness ..
my issue now is that I never know if I'm right or paranoid
Same 😢😢😢it’s hard to trust men now for me
might sound psychotic, but keep records and find little subtle tests that relate to things they don’t like. trust yourself and don’t wait for external validation or confirmation. you got this ❤️🩹
Got to rebuild or build that trust with your inner council ❤ you deserve it
Same!!!
I know what you mean...I guess it's best to go by your gut instincts. If the person you're with is making you feel crazy or questioning everything, they're not the right person for you.
Another perspective is maybe you need to explore why you are getting these feelings within yourself? Sometimes people feel like they want a relationship but it's something they're not ready for, no matter who their partner is or how they act.
Stop getting blinded by pretty packaging and focus on how their words, behaviours or actions leave you feeling or reeling.
I now call those inconsistent small acts crumbs. I no longer want crumbs, I deserve a whole loaf ❤
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If you go into relationships wanting to be wanted, you're basically a sitting target for any type of manipulator. Always check yourself, a normal healthy person wouldn't be attracted to someone who is desperate to be wanted. Speaking as someone who is prone to this btw! Say no, often, at the beginning of a relationship, the response you get will show you major red flags or not...
Oh my God.. thank you for this❤
7:55 👏👏👏. She is so right. Cover shit and call it gold. People do it , companies do it. The more they brag on about themselves , the less is underneath
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“They cheat once they’ll cheat ten more times” … factor consistency
Narcissist are overwhelming and self indulged so yes I totally agree they come across as over publicly confident and they've worked on it.
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In my experience people who have a 'fetish' or fantasy for my ethnicity & culture have been narcissists. Makes sense considering traits of narcissism, including how they idealize and want to fit you in their narrative. Grossly sick people. So living abroad was one big factor for encountering them. I think I can tell who are narcissists very quickly now.
You’re lucky haha
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I think a lot of weird and immature people have a fetish for Japanese women… it’s so gross
Just means fake. Superficial. It’s many people in the nightlife world and religious world.
Wow… Mind is blown when the fact is made about quiet confidence, and having this sort of mask on for those who are actually disastrous people!! Amazing point
All the more reason to have a longer getting to know stage. Then it'll be hopefully easier to realise what is consistent or inconsistent in their behaviour. I have troubles deciphering actions at the very start. Too many subtle similarities between love bombing and genuine interest. But someone who has genuine interest will be happy to take their time rather than get an immediate hit.
Wow this hit differently.
Not telling people about it to keep the sketchy thing going got me
Finally i heard a brilliant conversation and learning more about narcissistic personality, thanks for your content and i appreciate your effort to make new videos ❤
How cute to see introvert Steven smiling and laughing😅😍 Great interview all of you as usual
Matthew Hussey always been bang on with advice coming from a coach myself this guy is bang on! stay strong people!
ABSOLUTELY!!! I LOVED THE VIDEO IT RESUMES IT ALL
Very good advice and valuable perspectives.. 1st truth seems to always be: "instincts"... And excell to point out "Holding the facts up to the light". Definitely 💯. Lots of terrific reality checks ("if you're ignoring.. that's where the disaster starts"). Loved thats she explained "Quiet confidence vs the elaborate behavior etc" 💥 . And the other point of "waiting for the qualificaties to be there" ..."and they won't". Thanks for sharing. 😊🙏🏼
This topic is so interested i love it
Very good about the time/energy so far invested in that relationship.
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Needed to hear this
Where are non-toxic men? It will always be a mystery
For real
we start gaslighting ourselves... yep - been there - done that....
I was hoping that you would continue with this discussion. Because I saw a clip on TikTok.😁
Brilliant conversation new awareness and education - keep at it!!! #greatconversation
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When a person is acting nice and good - they could be just acting or simply be nice and good. But without frequency and consistency over a long time of being good and nice, assume it's just a performing act.
And if a person is acting bad and rude without reservation, assume it's who they are - they are not acting to impress anyone.
MH MY MAN!!!! LOVE YOU.
I agree with everything said as this is exactly what has happened to me.
I have recently left a 6 year-long on off relationship.
On tuesday i cried when my GP said she is referring me for counselling that specialises in gaslighting and narcissistic abuse, after listening to me and reading text message exchanges..
The thing is i studied social psychology and saw the signs at the beginning, but ignored them because he was so charismatic/manipulative and appeared to be the victim, that i questioned my own reality.
I should have walked away, but cared enough cause i saw the hurt wee inner child trying to escape. My friends told me at the beginning and you're right i stopped telling them, cause deep down i knew i should have believed what he was showing me.
I realise i have lot of work to do on myself. Im left anxious/depressed after the discard, but the biggest step is leaving Lesson learned.
Fabulous, as always. Thanks a million for your great work. 😊
I guess my issue is i have no idea what non-narcissists look like anymore. I was raised by my single covert narcissistic mother and an older self-proclaimed narcissist sister so i got used to be told i was too emotional, any of my feelings weren't valid, being gaslit, etc. Then i never understood how to connect to other people so never made lasting friendships unless they were people who would use me to fill their boredom from other people they actually wanted to hang with but were busy and they knew i had no one. So going into adulthood became the same issues but now with potential romantic partners as well. I'm in my 30s now and I'm just thinking I'm meant to be alone because i keep choosing all the wrong people in my life and the secure people don't seem to want me since I'm entirely alone now after having dropped the toxic friends and family so have become the isolated red flag. I think it's just better if i get used to being on my own as i don't know how to create bonds anymore without feeling used.
Would love more insights on narcissists and avoidant behavior , thank you!
My favourite type of narcissists. At least the moment I wake up to their fucked up ways they're gone. I rather that than a narcissists that cries, guilt trip, harass, scream etc. With an avoidant, it's like with any other attachment style, what you require is to gather enough insight, self accountability, power, assertiveness, and then you decide what you wanna do for yourself and act on it. When one is tired of breadcrumbs and remembers who they actually are and what they will put up and not put up with, dealing with an avoidant actually comes handy. They're gone.
@@sunbeam9222indeed. My father is a malignant narcissist who made former lovers and his ex wife lives hell when they left him. My last guy was the avoidant type and it worked in my favor.
@@sunbeam9222If all you’ve ever gotten was avoidant narcissists, it just feeds the deep-seated belief that you will always be abandoned, that you are not enough. That no one will ever care enough about you to fight for you, to not turn their back, to not be cowardly, to stay. There were times when I would WISH that the avoidant narcs would turn back around and scream at me, would throw something, would even hit me, to show any emotion other than cold, fearful detachment. The type of toxic you receive makes you wish for the type of toxic you don’t receive, when you’re in an abused mind state.
Luckily, there is hope in the healing. You’ll one day realize both are equally as toxic (the obsessive abuse and the avoidant abuse) and you desire neither one at all.
@@lifeoutsidecomfortzone if you have read my post you will notice that I state both encounters require work on ourselves which is the base for not entertaining any type of abuse. I was just making the point that once that is done and one is healed I might as well handle an avoidant since he'll just disappear. ( That implies you already worked on yourself and don't yearn for validation from them anymore and you know you are enough and worthy). More challenging to get rid of an obsessive stalker.
@@lifeoutsidecomfortzone sounds like that deep rooted belief is what you need to tackle. The avoidant is just reinforcing this belief not creating it. Hope you find the way to transform that core belief into realising you're worthy of attention and a healthy relationship. The avoidant is such a trigger for you because it comes in resonance with that false belief of yours. In reality the avoidant is just avoiding that's his own defence mechanism at play. Nothing personal towards you, it's just trauma bonding, as you probably know. You desperately want them to show up in a way they're equally desperately avoiding. The dynamic is indeed toxic. Some people don't care one bit for avoidant personalities. They're not triggered by abandonment. At least you know what you need to heal. Or you and avoidants will keep acting as a magnet of attraction / repulsion for each other. All the best xx
I’m really not sure if I was just in a normal relationship a verbally abusive relationship or a narcissistic relationship. I’m actually extremely confused and just heart broken
WAIT, for it.
Yeah blamed me on why he went out for 24 hours straight all because I didn’t answer the phone when he called because he had an epiphany and I wasn’t there for him to tell me. It was my fault why he drank, why he didn’t go home, why he hated being home by himself. It was always because of me why he did things that were wrong.
Could you make a episode about being trapped in a narcissist relationship and what to do?
Take a look at the freedom programme in the UK. It might work for you.
You have to make up your own mind whether (or not) you want to (or can) leave. It’s difficult but necessary for a peaceful serene life.
Personally going ‘no contact’ was best for me.
It eliminated his toxicity from my life. I needed a space to heal free from the ongoing (& never ending) chaos.
Best & caring wishes to you💙
Looking back, I am profoundly grateful I left - no doubt whatsoever 🙏
I wish the same for you.
Preparing is also helpful - important papers documents and a place to stay 💙
The answer is always leaving them safely. Depends on your situation, but ask family/friends/shelter for help, and be physically and psychologically distant, and go no contact!
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Tell a friend or family member.
I need a rest, but thank you. 😊😅
Matt, I'm listening AGAIN...
I just broke up with a narcissist and drug addict. I had everyone tell me to leave what pushed me to leave was that gut feeling and his mom. His mom found everything and the text. She saw how he was treating me. I didn’t tell anyone that how he was treating me. They just saw when I wasn’t able to talk to him when I was busy. He would go off call everyone and it happens when I’m busy. They saw how he reacted to things that I did for myself and family. I didn’t know till I was gone.Do what makes you happy. I wasn’t happy at all. I begged him to stop drugs. I begged for respect. It took losing me for him to try to get off. Not when he was with me. Stand strong don’t let him take your happiness away.
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If your ex was in active addiction, it’s not wise to assess his behavior as his norm or his core being- addicts are selfish, it can mimic narcissistic traits bc addicts also lie and manipulate and gaslight and all kinds of stuff. Plus, if you’re not in the position to diagnose someone with NPD, then try not to sling the word “narcissist” around (bc that’s usually indicative of actual narcissists. 😉
Damn, he's right.
3 narcissists in a row I've had 🙄
I seem to attract narcassistic people , omg ... rhis is so accurate its scary
I have clicked on 3 matt's videos and he is wearing the same in each 3, how could have I stumbled upon clips of the same day thrice in a row? xD
People need psychoeducation and awareness of the covert passive aggressive narcissist. MUCH different than the overt narc
7:12 every man that I have been interested in who displayed what she is describing turned out to be nightmare. Lesson learned.
My problem is narcissistic relationships entering me.
All about transactional on part of NPD type and people pleasers. NPD like define the role of you to fit into their life, people pleasers apply/compete for role. People pleasers are not focusing on their own self love/respect, values, and how they FEEL in the relationship. As soon as not listened to, or feel chasing, leave.
Ive left tw0 narcassistic domestic violence relationships 7 yrs then 3yrs 4mnths ago a walked hes now with my ex best friend good luck to her she saw it n talked about him bt obvs fancied him th whole time thinknthey wete cheatn behind ma back now a think of it x
I think the attraction to bad boys has to do with shadow projection, which is the secret desire that we ourselves are a bit bad. We keep ourselves under check, trying to act morally, to be kind, to do everything right, but human being are not purely good so then the dark side in us rebels. Then one way for it to get expressed is to get projected on someone we fall in love with. The problem is that engaging with our own darkness in that second hand way is not leading to us being whole or integrating our shadow but to suffering and becoming even less what we're supposed to be. So maybe next time you see a guy that talks boldly in a bar as if he doesn't care and you find it sexy, maybe try to express a bit of that yourself.
What can I do if I think someone I know is in this type of relationship? Do I do nothing, wait or do something?
Call it what they really are LIARS!
Manipulators. Because that's what they're really doing and lying is not necessary for manipulation.
😂 great faces are my kryptonite
Wouldn't it be nice if this guy was your best friend 👍♥️
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I don’t think it’s safe to say “assume that it’s a pattern” cause it really may not be, let’s say someone lied to you for a good reason, that doesn’t make them a liar and that they lie on a daily basis
What good reason is there to lie to someone you love?
@@NessaMagic nothing important obviously, like idk what right now 😂 I didn’t lie to my ex so now I can’t think of anything xD
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You got con women and con men, but you hear more about men being the narcissist, but there are just as many women .
Regardless of personality disorder or gender, if somebody doesn't respect your boundaries, they must leave your life.
@@Synchrothron absolutely
He called me narcissist. That the thing really did happened didn’t happened because it is against him. Now, I feel like I have to have a cctv or voice recording or screenshot everything he saying because he tends to change his statement when I confront him. He always say girls wants him and I’m just insecure. He told me I’m the reason why I’m broken and hurt not because of him. He said I played victim and blaming everyone for my pain.
I don’t know who I am anymore. I feel like I’m the real reason why nobody wants to love me and respect me
Hello. You are not alone. I don’t know who I am anymore either. I feel worthless and not good enough for anyone.
Anytime you get to where you’re wanting to tape record you are almost definitely dealing with a narcissist! Run!
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you're not alone.. i just broke up with a narc last week and it was hard bec i really love him.. but i had to.. i was like you, questioning my worth, my sanity and i was never the problem.. i will never fall for chemistry and connection anymore.. CHOOSE SOMEONE WHO HAS A GOOD CHARACTER. WHO VALIDATES YOUR FEELINGS AND WHO IS KIND
Run forest run ❤
I want my partner back
So I was with con artist for a year
I‘m just so confused 😢
What's your view on women that have a lot of male friends
Pamela Anderson was sexually abused as a child , so it makes sense why she would be attracted to bad boys. It’s the familiarity that we gravitate towards.
Pamelas' documentary shares that her parents demonstrated the bad boy behaviour and that they married divorced and remarried as they were crazy in love.
my ex was a total con artist/criminal, etc., after 37 years, he married a total loser within 2 months of our separation. water seeks its own level.
You could cosplay as Daniel Radford
Good idea
Are you referring to Daniel Radcliffe….? If so yes he could definitely cosplay as him
I believe that a person that I know is a narcissist relationship and has gotten very Toxic on both ends which has resulted in aleniation of the family, they have even denied access to the kids 😢
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There are definitely con women, aka my ex
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Tell your brother that he is a bit pedantic with that "intellectual thing he has. - "because I can not date nobody who does not read books". "he is an intelectual by the way"
That attachment to that "label" is strange.
To be fair he is just insecure about that - pretty sure or did someone told him that he is an intellectual and now he feels that is his best shot?
I DESPERATELY WANT TO DIE.
I'M IN HELL WITH NO ESCAPE.
I am suffocated and drowned in grief.
Please please please, Lord, heal me.
HEAL ME HEAL ME HEAL ME. Please.
I'm dying inside.
Submerged in terror and darkness.
The pain and the panic are unbearable.
It's been over 5 months of this hell and torture.
Basically almost all of 2023, so far...
I desperately pray to die.
I live in perpetual panic,
and constant despair.
MY SOUL IS RAPED.
I desperately want to die.
I can no longer bear this hell that I'm in...
I HAVE SEVERE PTSD.
The man whom I thought was my best friend,
he gave me this PTSD...
I want to die.
I beg to die.
My entire life is hell.
Just suffering.
The man whom I thought was my best friend...
He raped my soul.
My soul is anguished and tormented and raped,
I am so so so traumatized. I have SEVERE PTSD. Severe severe severe!!!
My soul is raped. He raped me. Oh the anguish and the agony.
He fucked me up. Ruined me. Destroyed me.
Raped my soul; shattered my heart; fucked my mind.
I am debilitated from the trauma.
Paralyzed frozen. Living in constant terror and panic.
REMINDER TO SELF:
This was a karmic friendship,
meant to be there for a limited time (17-months-ish)
to teach you, about yourself!
About boundaries, about self-love,
about self-respect, about self-worth, etc...
About a whole plethora of magical, juicy, alchemical things!
The universe, God, your guides, your ancestors, are pushing you, lovingly,
in the right direction: into your own magnificent powerful magical freedom!
When you let go. The universe will catch you. It’s talking to you.
Let go of everything and trust the universe. It’s within you. ✨💫
If the girl has a Instagram with hundreds of followers, pretty much guaranteed narcissist. So there goes like 90% of women in the U.S.
It's so annoying to interrupt the video for self-promotion / advertising! :(
It makes me hate whatever it is that you want to promote, including your business model. That's why I've recently stopped clicking on your videos.
(I'm just here to try out the new adblocker and see if it works!)
Just found out how to block the sponsored/self-promotion/ad segments of a video! :D
Con person 😅
This guy sounds like a Covert Narcissist, women are all good, men are the ones who con?
You’re not “trapped” if you’re “empowered”.
Huh? He never said nor insinuated woman are all good. He literally said narcissistic people (emphasis added).
Nope, he never said or insinuated that at all
@@voice_of_a_little_lady
0:21 - “the closer you get to someone the more ability they have to distort reality”
0:38 - "it does really feel like conning comes from the male direction"
But yeah, I'd be a gaslighter too if I was a modern woman who had guys like Matthew Hussey telling me I'm never wrong and it's always the man's fault.
@@RecreationalUseOnly He's just a person w/opinions whose majority demographic happens to be women, so his ideas tend to be discussed taking that into account. Since you seem to interpret his opinions in a negative light, I'm not sure why you're even watching his videos.. Perhaps Andrew Tate vids would be more your speed 😉
At beginning of career he did seminars for male audience. Then women said what about us So he started doing seminars for women.