I’m a registered nurse in my 60s. Believe me when I say “ we eat our young”! I’ve been watching it since I graduated from college. It’s a rarity to be supported by another woman.
I am the only girl with 4 brothers and I was always more drawn to boys as friends in school. I stayed home and raised my sons then after entering the workforce I have been shocked at women’s behavior towards other women. I have def been strangled all while trying to work as a team. It’s been quite the unwanted learning experience.
I’m Australian - tall poppy syndrome also exists in family dynamics, too. Sharing good news or a big achievement can be perceived as bragging or being a bit too full of yourself. They want to keep people “down to earth” and unfortunately “the same”.
Great comment. I agree it’s at the root of so many family problems. My mom and I were talking about a TH-cam video we had both watched about a woman in her 40’s who had finally separated from her family and cut all ties. My mom saw it as a woman who moved away and became successful and maybe came across as a bit too big for her britches. I saw it as a family who should have been prouder and more supportive as the daughter’s success was truly a reflection on them too. So interesting how different generations look at the same issue. Thanks!
Thank you for your channel! It's been a great help in understanding what is going on in the company where I work. I work at a small manufacturing company where I make significantly more as well as have more education than most of the other women here. I've never felt accepted by the other women when I joined the company 2 years ago. And now I know why. I've just recently decided to request to move to an office in engineering where my office mates will be all men. I've realized it has affected my mental health being around these women. Thank you!
I’m so glad to see this pointed out. There’s so much group talk about women standing together but women constantly undermine each other or compete and Do NOT support or celebrate each others success or happiness. Envy, jealousy and insecurity keep even female friends and family from being able to be happy or share other women’s joys or blessings.
The local newspaper publishes articles on people in the area who have unique careers and an article was written on me. The journalist put it on my Facebook page and I immediately noticed only a few people liked and congratulated me. I have had many instances where people can be hurtful and not want to share in your joy.
I have a friend who just was highlighted in a local magazine. It was crickets!!!!! But I guarantee if they had a trauma or unfortunate experience everyone would have a comment. 🤷🏻♀️
That is the problem with applications like Facebook and Microsoft Teams where the like and heart options are available. They are used in a passive aggressive way. I noticed one of my closest coworkers never liked or hearted ANYTHING I put in a group chat, but she did for others that she barely knew. It spoke volumes. Verbally, she was super complimentary and she used me as a sounding board to confide in. I knew she would be retiring soon so I didn’t think it was worth mentioning because passive aggressive people will never own up to their behavior and they will try to infer that I was being petty. Sometimes, you just have to ignore that petty crap and keep moving forward.
@ I know this well! Some things are hard to ignore though… How about those friends from high school or work who get together at a local restaurant, but don’t include you and then put it out on Facebook with their photo saying, “Met my girl friends this evening for an evening out and what fun we had!”
Thank you, I enjoy your content, Laura. I have viewed many of your videos and as you have mentioned, friends grow scarcer as we age. For myself, I am more selective in choosing close friends as far as value alignment; plus I find I am not willing to overlook things as I did when I was younger. Honest and authentic are my focus for friendships now. I did have a situation at work where my friendship with my best work friend was affected by my promotion. (We were friends outside of work too.) With the promotion, I became her boss. It was not awkward for me, but it was for her. She finally told me how awkward it was; I was thankful that she was able to tell me that because I had wondered what had happened. We were still cordial, but it was certainly not the same. I was crushed.
That has happened to so many women in the work place. Our friendships at the office generally flow out into our ‘real life’. A change in the balance throws everything off. And I agree, I’m at the age where I no longer overlook things I used too!
Good Morning Laura! I love this topic. It's so true. Women hate women whom they choose to believe are more capable then themselves. They are so afraid of failing, so I think it is fear-based behavior or an inferiority complex, and yes . . . jealousy. When I quit my job to take care of my parents, these are some of the comments my sisters made to me: "We're just waiting for you to fail" or "We're waiting for you to collapse". Simply because I chose to work hard and take care of my parents (and their parents) and they chose to use psychological analogies on why a daughter needs to take care of her parents, to demean me, my appearance, my efforts, etc. - anything to bring me down. One time I baked an apple dessert and gave it to my sister, her husband and daughter when they came for a visit, and a month later my sister claimed I had poisoned her, because I used bleached flour, and she claimed I caused her to have an asthma attack. She doesn't have asthma, and no one else had issues. Later I found out from my sister-in-law that my sister actually had an anxiety attack because I baked so well and her husband and daughter raved over it.
I purchased 'Marketing to Women' by Marti Barletta when it was first published in 2002. Although it has been a while since I last read it, the main points that resonated with me were that women value consistency and that we appreciate having options. When women are perceived as being 'too' anything, they often face exclusion. This is closely tied to female aggression. Unlike men, who may engage in physical confrontations, women often resort to character assassination, harassment, and social exclusion. This form of aggression is emotional and psychological abuse-akin to a punch to the emotional gut. Such behavior is frequently dismissed as 'drama' and minimized. Its impacts are often disregarded, diminished, or normalized. Ultimately, those who engage in aggressive and bullying behavior will face their own consequences. It's crucial to stay focused on your own path and continue to focus on pursuing your goals. Good video. Thanks.
I always wondered why the female Electrical Engineer we had hired for work at a Colorado University Facilities was always treated very luke-warm by the female administration even though I was always enthusiastic. She did great work but was always back-burnered.
Oh my! Electrical engineering was like neurosurgery in my workplace. And, worshipped. But, when the individual is a woman, I can only imagine the jealousy this creates even with some of the men, but especially other women. I did notice some very interesting favoritism by the men toward the female electrical engineer because these guys knew how difficult the major is, and how hard the professional accreditations are, as well. Plus, when the person is good at their job, oh wow, it creates a lot of tension ::))
Thank you so much for this video because I have seen this so much and I wondered if it was just me or if others were experiencing this as well. I always say that people love when you stay on the sidelines as cheerleaders for their lives but they hate when you step on the field and become the main player in your own game. They won't support you the way you supported them. Also, it now makes sense to me why you are such an excellent speaker. You were a mayor! (Amongst many other positions, I'm sure). Your speaking ability is phenomenal and something to aspire to. All the best to you! Keep it up with your channel!!!
@laurahillauthor we apparently still reflect behaviors + biology from our ancestors 6 million years ago, so likely not anytime soon in a general sense hehe 😜.
it could be the culture where I am, but I find that women at least 10yrs older than I will support me. The problem is women my age :/ I support other women but am rarely reciprocated. What you said is very real.
There is outside world dominated by men and inside world (home) dominated by women. Men are better in helping each other in business world, sports, war but they are not so good in time of sickness, pain, sorrow and tragedy when it comes to family or extended family. There are exceptions to the rule. We are trained that way. Women are envious to other women usualy regarding beauty and success. Men are also envious to each other by they are mascerading it with competion. There is also a lot more we can say about this topic.
Retired preschool teacher (61) here. I had a lucky time, I guess. Was a VERY young mom of four and military officer’s wife. Stayed home and also supported some of the wives who wanted to go to school or work by watching their kids. In turn, when mine hit jr high and I went back to work, any moms in my neighborhood on base who stayed at home, helped me! They did the pick ups, drop offs, etc. I’m grateful for that good, supportive community.
Brilliant show. I appreciate your straightforward and easy to understand communication style, and I am learning so much from your videos. So glad to have discovered your excellent channel ! 😊
I've never heard of poppies "strangling" taller poppies... Where in the book is it mentioned? I can't find anything on gardening either... how strange...
When I moved into teaching art my good teaching colleague continued to put down my decision to change my position. Always critical of the new job especially in front of other colleagues. I understood its not her preference but why make me feel bad for something I was excited about.
It’s a work in progress and we’ve come a long way. That being said we’re influenced by our culture to compete with other women and put each other down. Also, women generally have a strong desire to be in a relationship and to feel like someone wants them. They will do anything to keep those relationships and family ties, including voting against their own interests. I have hope though for the women of the future.
Can you do a video on Mother- in- Laws and Daughter- in-Laws not getting along and having alot of conflict? I heard over 60% of mother-in-laws and daughter-in-laws don't like each other.
Thank you darling for airing this important subject. It has reminded me that although some TH-camrs don't appreciate being given a shout out for their channels others do, especially if they haven't reached than that magic number yet. I has reaffirmed my need to give even smaller channels than me a shout out in my videos. I have done it before but recently haven't because I was trying a new video format. Time to step up to the plate and do what I believe is right. And I will restart it in my next video. Thank you so much for this timely reminder darling. Much love Imi xxx❤
That’s been on my mind too! I’m going to do a better job of supporting other female channels by giving a shout out. Thanks for the reminder. Everyone of us has opportunities to lift another woman up
I have watched over half a dozen of your videos, and I like you very much. Isn't it true that women who might be friends privately or in a one on one situation just cannot mix in a group where there are so many different people present? You simply can't be genuine and sincere in a large group when you don't know everyone, yet sometimes I feel regret at not participating in groups because I do miss the interaction with the people I like very much. Thank you for putting yourself out there and speaking the hard truths.
I have a girlfriend right off the bat out of hairdressing school gets her grandmothers house with hair shop in the house wow established off the get go maybe I was a little jealous , until you realize she’s stuck there’s no other fellow hairdressers the experiences good or bad and other I could explain I soon realized as I’ve had other careers since it wasn’t all that ! Thanks Laura always have us thinking and realizing our surroundings of past and present ✨💕
Thanks so much. Always appreciate your insight. I’ve found that when I’m a little envious or even jealous of I’m honest I realize I wouldn’t be happy if I was in their shoes. Things seems shiny and bright from the outside looking in
Wait a minute you were Mayor? Now that’s a video on all its own to hear ::)) love it. From what I’ve learned on the job in public service during the 1990s, the women who came before (and my supervisors) were never supported or mentored and that’s ‘the gift’ they passed along. In their careers, there was no such thing as ‘the glass ceiling’, and policies involving equality, discrimination did not exist. I can’t even imagine that world today! We have come a long way in the work environment, for sure. But, in their era, men ruled large, and they had to like you for a woman to get anywhere in the workplace. If these women had it hard, then you could also struggle, is the lesson I learned. Plus, women are often more sensitive to issues even when none existed. When someone got promoted they were marginalized and gossiped about, which can overshadow all of a person’s accomplishments. Today, we call this a toxic workplace, but in the 1990s it was normal. By contrast, men operate completely differently and can have some of the worst disagreements with each other and still go out and have a beer. And, we can’t due to our emotions. In the end, I was quite fortunate, I got along with everyone. It wasn’t easy, but I worked hard at it simply to survive and enjoy my job. Every single day, I used the conference room as the classroom. I learned the most from powerful men who knew how to play the game, but also knew how to execute the work in the best way possible and with tremendous experience. I doubt other women were even listening to the things I heard loud and clear. They took it all in ‘on the surface,’ but I listened to how decisions were made, and why. I replicated their ideas when I needed to so they ending up mentoring me whether intentional or not. :)) Beautiful statement, Laura. When we talk about women empowerment, let’s make sure that it means something-and we are putting our words into action! Such a wonderful concept. I continue to hear that no matter the decades since I learned my early lessons, some things haven’t changed, and women need other women for so many reasons, let’s solider on together.
So exciting! We need to share our experiences for so many reasons especially when our day is done, those lessons live on and translate to other relationships as you know so well. Love your channel. Congratulations on establishing a very timely and interesting venue. Great insights here. Best wishes....
I think women assume that they "should" get support from other women because they're women. I don't think that it should be a given. That's not how the world of commerce operates. In the example of the local business owner, there are a lot of missing facts that might explain her lack of female customers. Just because you like someone, doesn't mean you have to spend money with them. That's the entire premise of MLM recruitment, actually.
This thread is woven throughout all aspects of human experiences. Look at families, friendships, marriages, it’s everywhere where there is community. And yes, there absolutely should be a “me too” movement for woman who have bullied, oppressed, or harmed another women’s opportunities to be successful or to rise up. women don’t want the best for other women. We can thank 20 years of the real housewives for that poison. I personally don’t look to other women (around my own age) to advise, guide or mentor me. It’s not worth it. At lease not big events in life.
Hi Laura N.B. - You know Me by now, My ''use of'' Capitalization is NOT Yelling : ) 'just used to Stress OR Highlight a point[s] At the end of the day : ( ... 1) ''Talk'' is Cheap / one only need to ask the Lady of whom you recv'd the phone call from in your real example. 2) ''Actions'' speak 'Louder' than 'Words' & Again, one only need to ask the Lady .... 3) As I've share many times & had this posted on my office wall for many years - Flowers DO NOT 'compete' with the ''other Flowers' around them - they just BLOOM !! : ) : ) : ) [period] Now - see/re-read above 3) : ) ... BUT - for ''that'' [aka] thee ''just bloom part' to''' take place''' - - - *requires* that ~ MOST of the following to *MUST* be ''within that woman'' [to be *ABLE* to do that- ie support other women] She'd be ... Confident, Self Assured, Competent, Caring, Insightful, Empathetic, Happy with HERself [whether it be] Body weight, Looks, Place - position in life, Career, Healthy [mental health especially], marriage or not, etc] ALSO, a sense of '''overall'' Broad Spectrum' *Contentment* !!! etc ... Now ... IF a flower ; ) [aka] a woman has that [see above] [ie] List of Attributes - Then - - - She ''WILL BE''' 99% OF THE TIME - NATURALLY *ABLE* TO - '''Legitimately WITH All Sincerity''' - Support, Encourage, High-five, Comfort, Cheer-on, Praise, Mentor etc other women *AND* '''TRULY'' BE HAPPY 4 ANOTHER WOMAN ACHEIVMENTS etc - EVEN IF THEIR LIFE ''SUCKS AT THAT TIME' !!!!!! ... In essence, This Woman is ABLE TO DO THIS for OTHER WOMEN b/c SHE ''knows'' WHO she is 99% of the time ... '''&''' is ''Happy'' with where she's at : ) x 100 P.S. Not in a cocky or arrogant way, no Diva Material here, no False ''self'', Not b/c of Riches $ /material things etc : ) ''&'' Her ''Joy'' in helping other women / supporting them etc is a Natural *by-product* of her life / The Real [Inner-Happy/content Self] / ''Her''' : ) If a women ''does not have this [Contentment ETC in her life etc] ~ in these woman, You 'WILL [99% of the time] be on the 'receiving' end of THEIR Jealousy, Envy, Hate, Rudeness, Gossip, Disdain, Outright Sabotage etc toward you. EVEN WHEN - SHE [the women who [lack of better words] ''has it together'' - tries & does ''good to them'' - the other women will ''end up'' Hating her GUTS ''&'' Despising Her - for her Help etc ~ In conclusion, that's Sad, ''Dark'' & Down-right Depressing etc : ( BUT, it's True ! b/c ..... these women ''DO - NOT - KNOW - SELF !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! : ( N.B. ~ QUESTION : Why the ''Failure'' ? as per Your query / this Videos Title ~ ANSWER (in a Nutshell) : One ''cannot''' Give a Drink of Water - to another - from ''their *OWN* *EMPTY* Bucket'' ... ... ...
I also have seen this happen over my many years in different positions. Don't have an answer for why it occurs but have seen it. It will continue to be this way for as long as children are being raised by parents with the same mindset their parents were raised with. In 2024 boys and girls are treated differently in school with preference given to the boys. Just look at dress codes and the reasons behind them. Boys can wear tank tops but girls can't because the girls bare shoulders will "distract" the boys is giving messages about how girls and women should be thought of. And that's just one small example of the thought training I've observed. Subtle. Not outright cruel. But enough.
I haven't watched the whole video yet, but in my experience you cannot assume that women support other women. This is more the exception than the rule.
In social media you might find this, but I believe social media is not real life for the most part - people say things about others online that they would never say in person a lot. Throughout most of my life I have had friends that have supported me and I do think a lot of women support other women. I choose to look above the pettiness of some people and not be around them. Choose the high road. I don't understand why others get involved in social media. If you are looking for nonsupportive women then you will find them. If you look for supportive ones, you will find them too.
I understand what you’re saying. I wasn’t thinking of social media so much although you see it there too. I see it in people not ‘showing up’ not reaching out to offer congrats Appreciate your comment
The old saying, " It’s lonely at the top." I think it's lonely on the way because you are expanding and becoming aligned with how you envision yourself. Through each stage and career path, I had different acquaintances and circles of influential people. I don't expect any of the women I met 20 years ago who are no longer doing what I'm doing and going where I'm going to be at my appreciation dinner. My small circle of female friends are more communicative about how they want to be celebrated. I think empowerment looks different from person to person. I question if someone is my friend if she did not acknowledge, congratulate, or show up for what I felt was an important event or special occasion. A friend opening a business is a major accomplishment. It's better to know who are opportunists in your life. The older you are, the fewer friends you will have. Empower yourself and love the ones who love you.
When you realize you became single at the same time Meryl Streep became single again, you already know you can't compete with the young beautiful women, then you realize you're competing with the likes of Meryl Streep, i.e. all those accomplished rich older women who have already made it and look great for their age, that it's like, oh jeez why try?
I know you're married, but I can tell you there's an especially wicked spin on this woman against woman theme when you are single, as I am. As you start to show interest in certain single men, funny how the previously unseen single women suddenly show up unexpectedly. Competition for men amongst women? Not sweet sugar and spice Godly women!
Why can you not go into why it is like this? We woman have pms from mabe 4-10 days every month from our teens to the age of about 60. It does something to us. I have not been in menopause but I know from others that can be hard. I dont think when pms or menopause a woman is her best selv. Why can you not talk about what a woman should and can probably if she is envying other woman? Like that she can improve her self? Work with grief if she lost a lot and other she knows gained a lot? It is only human to feel envy and not feel that you can be good enough with all you «have» to be successful about. You need this and that and this to. So mabe try loneliness and work on your life. Find out what you want. Dont stay in relationships who make you feel envy - use that time instead to improve yourself and your life. You dont need to feel envy - just do something else - improve your life - use your time not to feel envy and look at others - use that time on you and what you want to do. I think woman often need to be proud of ourselves what we have done with raising kids for instans. Getting a kid from start to a life where they can support themself. It is well done. I think focus on all you have achieved and build on that. How does your friends make you feel. If it feels not a safe space and you feel drained - be alone or find some others to be with. A draining feeling like jealousi - you mabe probably do not like that person. So something else and use that time on yourself. Videos like this is so negative about woman. It is not true. You can not like an support everyone. Do you feel envy you probably have lacked supporting yourself and IMO you should start there.
Well we will have to disagree. I’ve posted videos on my channel talking about every issue you have mentioned above. I don’t view honesty/reality as negative but I certainly can see you come at this from a different view point. Thanks so much for sharing your view.
I’m a registered nurse in my 60s.
Believe me when I say “ we eat our young”! I’ve been watching it since I graduated from college.
It’s a rarity to be supported by another woman.
100 percent truth.
Nurses will treat other nurses like trash even when it affects the patients well being and safety. Stay away from the nursing profession.
I feel the same way. It’s such antiquated thinking but it never seems to change
@@julies166 I work for a hospital on the HR side and it is shocking to hear how clinical professionals treat one another. Some are quite brutal. 😥
@@PetiteFlower333 That is pretty stunning and a shame that women can be like that, especially professionals!
I am the only girl with 4 brothers and I was always more drawn to boys as friends in school. I stayed home and raised my sons then after entering the workforce I have been shocked at women’s behavior towards other women. I have def been strangled all while trying to work as a team. It’s been quite the unwanted learning experience.
Definitely a struggle!! And love what you said, an unwanted learning experience. Been there too
I’m Australian - tall poppy syndrome also exists in family dynamics, too. Sharing good news or a big achievement can be perceived as bragging or being a bit too full of yourself. They want to keep people “down to earth” and unfortunately “the same”.
Great comment. I agree it’s at the root of so many family problems. My mom and I were talking about a TH-cam video we had both watched about a woman in her 40’s who had finally separated from her family and cut all ties. My mom saw it as a woman who moved away and became successful and maybe came across as a bit too big for her britches. I saw it as a family who should have been prouder and more supportive as the daughter’s success was truly a reflection on them too. So interesting how different generations look at the same issue. Thanks!
Yes, when my friends are winning, I’m winning, too. Can’t explain why, but I am. Maybe it’s because who I have around me affects me.
Thank you for your channel! It's been a great help in understanding what is going on in the company where I work. I work at a small manufacturing company where I make significantly more as well as have more education than most of the other women here. I've never felt accepted by the other women when I joined the company 2 years ago. And now I know why. I've just recently decided to request to move to an office in engineering where my office mates will be all men. I've realized it has affected my mental health being around these women. Thank you!
So glad you recognized what is happening! Hope the request comes through.
I realized this many, many years ago. Women will support men more readily than their own sisters.
Amen💯
I’m so glad to see this pointed out. There’s so much group talk about women standing together but women constantly undermine each other or compete and Do NOT support or celebrate each others success or happiness. Envy, jealousy and insecurity keep even female friends and family from being able to be happy or share other women’s joys or blessings.
Agree💯a lot of smoke and mirrors but no substance
The local newspaper publishes articles on people in the area who have unique careers and an article was written on me. The journalist put it on my Facebook page and I immediately noticed only a few people liked and congratulated me. I have had many instances where people can be hurtful and not want to share in your joy.
I have a friend who just was highlighted in a local magazine. It was crickets!!!!! But I guarantee if they had a trauma or unfortunate experience everyone would have a comment. 🤷🏻♀️
That is the problem with applications like Facebook and Microsoft Teams where the like and heart options are available. They are used in a passive aggressive way. I noticed one of my closest coworkers never liked or hearted ANYTHING I put in a group chat, but she did for others that she barely knew. It spoke volumes.
Verbally, she was super complimentary and she used me as a sounding board to confide in. I knew she would be retiring soon so I didn’t think it was worth mentioning because passive aggressive people will never own up to their behavior and they will try to infer that I was being petty.
Sometimes, you just have to ignore that petty crap and keep moving forward.
@ I know this well! Some things are hard to ignore though… How about those friends from high school or work who get together at a local restaurant, but don’t include you and then put it out on Facebook with their photo saying, “Met my girl friends this evening for an evening out and what fun we had!”
Thank you, I enjoy your content, Laura. I have viewed many of your videos and as you have mentioned, friends grow scarcer as we age. For myself, I am more selective in choosing close friends as far as value alignment; plus I find I am not willing to overlook things as I did when I was younger. Honest and authentic are my focus for friendships now.
I did have a situation at work where my friendship with my best work friend was affected by my promotion. (We were friends outside of work too.) With the promotion, I became her boss. It was not awkward for me, but it was for her. She finally told me how awkward it was; I was thankful that she was able to tell me that because I had wondered what had happened. We were still cordial, but it was certainly not the same. I was crushed.
That has happened to so many women in the work place. Our friendships at the office generally flow out into our ‘real life’. A change in the balance throws everything off. And I agree, I’m at the age where I no longer overlook things I used too!
Good Morning Laura! I love this topic. It's so true. Women hate women whom they choose to believe are more capable then themselves. They are so afraid of failing, so I think it is fear-based behavior or an inferiority complex, and yes . . . jealousy. When I quit my job to take care of my parents, these are some of the comments my sisters made to me: "We're just waiting for you to fail" or "We're waiting for you to collapse". Simply because I chose to work hard and take care of my parents (and their parents) and they chose to use psychological analogies on why a daughter needs to take care of her parents, to demean me, my appearance, my efforts, etc. - anything to bring me down. One time I baked an apple dessert and gave it to my sister, her husband and daughter when they came for a visit, and a month later my sister claimed I had poisoned her, because I used bleached flour, and she claimed I caused her to have an asthma attack. She doesn't have asthma, and no one else had issues. Later I found out from my sister-in-law that my sister actually had an anxiety attack because I baked so well and her husband and daughter raved over it.
Oh heavens what a character your sister is!! The worst is when family can’t be supportive💔
I purchased 'Marketing to Women' by Marti Barletta when it was first published in 2002. Although it has been a while since I last read it, the main points that resonated with me were that women value consistency and that we appreciate having options.
When women are perceived as being 'too' anything, they often face exclusion. This is closely tied to female aggression. Unlike men, who may engage in physical confrontations, women often resort to character assassination, harassment, and social exclusion. This form of aggression is emotional and psychological abuse-akin to a punch to the emotional gut. Such behavior is frequently dismissed as 'drama' and minimized. Its impacts are often disregarded, diminished, or normalized.
Ultimately, those who engage in aggressive and bullying behavior will face their own consequences. It's crucial to stay focused on your own path and continue to focus on pursuing your goals.
Good video. Thanks.
Agree 💯thanks so much for sharing this!
I always wondered why the female Electrical Engineer we had hired for work at a Colorado University Facilities was always treated very luke-warm by the female administration even though I was always enthusiastic. She did great work but was always back-burnered.
Happens too often
Oh my! Electrical engineering was like neurosurgery in my workplace. And, worshipped. But, when the individual is a woman, I can only imagine the jealousy this creates even with some of the men, but especially other women. I did notice some very interesting favoritism by the men toward the female electrical engineer because these guys knew how difficult the major is, and how hard the professional accreditations are, as well. Plus, when the person is good at their job, oh wow, it creates a lot of tension ::))
Thank you Laura. It’s great that you said it because it’s been going on forever.
Thanks for watching and for the comment!
Thank you so much for this video because I have seen this so much and I wondered if it was just me or if others were experiencing this as well. I always say that people love when you stay on the sidelines as cheerleaders for their lives but they hate when you step on the field and become the main player in your own game. They won't support you the way you supported them. Also, it now makes sense to me why you are such an excellent speaker. You were a mayor! (Amongst many other positions, I'm sure). Your speaking ability is phenomenal and something to aspire to. All the best to you! Keep it up with your channel!!!
You are very kind! Folks like you are the reason I do this. Love the input and the great comments. Great sidelines analogy
Female rivalry is thought to have arisen from an evolutionary instinct to compete for limited resources like food, shelter, mates, etc.
I think so much of mankind and our image behaviors go back to evolution. Wonder if it can ever fully break away?
@laurahillauthor we apparently still reflect behaviors + biology from our ancestors 6 million years ago, so likely not anytime soon in a general sense hehe 😜.
it could be the culture where I am, but I find that women at least 10yrs older than I will support me. The problem is women my age :/ I support other women but am rarely reciprocated. What you said is very real.
You make a great point, I do think older women are much better at mentoring and supporting the success of younger women.
There is outside world dominated by men and inside world (home) dominated by women. Men are better in helping each other in business world, sports, war but they are not so good in time of sickness, pain, sorrow and tragedy when it comes to family or extended family. There are exceptions to the rule. We are trained that way. Women are envious to other women usualy regarding beauty and success. Men are also envious to each other by they are mascerading it with competion. There is also a lot more we can say about this topic.
Thanks for sharing ! Yes much more we can say about this topic for sure
Retired preschool teacher (61) here. I had a lucky time, I guess. Was a VERY young mom of four and military officer’s wife. Stayed home and also supported some of the wives who wanted to go to school or work by watching their kids. In turn, when mine hit jr high and I went back to work, any moms in my neighborhood on base who stayed at home, helped me! They did the pick ups, drop offs, etc. I’m grateful for that good, supportive community.
How wonderful!!! Thanks for sharing
Yeah, women are human like men. There are alphas and followers, plain and simple
So true
Wow, this is so true! I think if little girls were more involved in team sports....they'd learn more about support.
Brilliant show. I appreciate your straightforward and easy to understand communication style, and I am learning so much from your videos. So glad to have discovered your excellent channel ! 😊
Thank you so much! It really means a lot to me. Glad you found the channel
Excellent video: so thoughtful. Totally agree, but it makes me sad, that lack of sisterhood.
Wish there was an easy answer or an easy path to change.
Unpalatable but so bloody true.
Thanks
I've never heard of poppies "strangling" taller poppies... Where in the book is it mentioned?
I can't find anything on gardening either... how strange...
When I moved into teaching art my good teaching colleague continued to put down my decision to change my position. Always critical of the new job especially in front of other colleagues. I understood its not her preference but why make me feel bad for something I was excited about.
It’s a work in progress and we’ve come a long way. That being said we’re influenced by our culture to compete with other women and put each other down. Also, women generally have a strong desire to be in a relationship and to feel like someone wants them. They will do anything to keep those relationships and family ties, including voting against their own interests. I have hope though for the women of the future.
Great thoughts! So agree💯
Can you do a video on Mother- in- Laws and Daughter- in-Laws not getting along and having alot of conflict? I heard over 60% of mother-in-laws and daughter-in-laws don't like each other.
Great topic. Thanks for the suggestion. I’ll work on that, I have a friend who is in the middle of that right now.
Hello Laura ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Thank you darling for airing this important subject. It has reminded me that although some TH-camrs don't appreciate being given a shout out for their channels others do, especially if they haven't reached than that magic number yet.
I has reaffirmed my need to give even smaller channels than me a shout out in my videos. I have done it before but recently haven't because I was trying a new video format.
Time to step up to the plate and do what I believe is right. And I will restart it in my next video.
Thank you so much for this timely reminder darling. Much love Imi xxx❤
That’s been on my mind too! I’m going to do a better job of supporting other female channels by giving a shout out. Thanks for the reminder. Everyone of us has opportunities to lift another woman up
I have watched over half a dozen of your videos, and I like you very much. Isn't it true that women who might be friends privately or in a one on one situation just cannot mix in a group where there are so many different people present? You simply can't be genuine and sincere in a large group when you don't know everyone, yet sometimes I feel regret at not participating in groups because I do miss the interaction with the people I like very much. Thank you for putting yourself out there and speaking the hard truths.
Thanks a million for this comment. And yes agree groups are very hard
@@laurahillauthor 😍
I have a girlfriend right off the bat out of hairdressing school gets her grandmothers house with hair shop in the house wow established off the get go maybe I was a little jealous , until you realize she’s stuck there’s no other fellow hairdressers the experiences good or bad and other I could explain I soon realized as I’ve had other careers since it wasn’t all that ! Thanks Laura always have us thinking and realizing our surroundings of past and present ✨💕
Thanks so much. Always appreciate your insight. I’ve found that when I’m a little envious or even jealous of I’m honest I realize I wouldn’t be happy if I was in their shoes. Things seems shiny and bright from the outside looking in
Wait a minute you were Mayor? Now that’s a video on all its own to hear ::)) love it.
From what I’ve learned on the job in public service during the 1990s, the women who came before (and my supervisors) were never supported or mentored and that’s ‘the gift’ they passed along. In their careers, there was no such thing as ‘the glass ceiling’, and policies involving equality, discrimination did not exist. I can’t even imagine that world today! We have come a long way in the work environment, for sure. But, in their era, men ruled large, and they had to like you for a woman to get anywhere in the workplace. If these women had it hard, then you could also struggle, is the lesson I learned. Plus, women are often more sensitive to issues even when none existed. When someone got promoted they were marginalized and gossiped about, which can overshadow all of a person’s accomplishments. Today, we call this a toxic workplace, but in the 1990s it was normal. By contrast, men operate completely differently and can have some of the worst disagreements with each other and still go out and have a beer. And, we can’t due to our emotions.
In the end, I was quite fortunate, I got along with everyone. It wasn’t easy, but I worked hard at it simply to survive and enjoy my job. Every single day, I used the conference room as the classroom. I learned the most from powerful men who knew how to play the game, but also knew how to execute the work in the best way possible and with tremendous experience. I doubt other women were even listening to the things I heard loud and clear. They took it all in ‘on the surface,’ but I listened to how decisions were made, and why. I replicated their ideas when I needed to so they ending up mentoring me whether intentional or not. :))
Beautiful statement, Laura. When we talk about women empowerment, let’s make sure that it means something-and we are putting our words into action! Such a wonderful concept. I continue to hear that no matter the decades since I learned my early lessons, some things haven’t changed, and women need other women for so many reasons, let’s solider on together.
Yes Mayor and Councilwoman for over 14 years. I need to share more about that. Thanks so much for your insight
Lots of gold nuggets⭐️
So exciting! We need to share our experiences for so many reasons especially when our day is done, those lessons live on and translate to other relationships as you know so well. Love your channel. Congratulations on establishing a very timely and interesting venue. Great insights here. Best wishes....
Very interesting video.
Thanks for watching!
I think women assume that they "should" get support from other women because they're women. I don't think that it should be a given. That's not how the world of commerce operates. In the example of the local business owner, there are a lot of missing facts that might explain her lack of female customers. Just because you like someone, doesn't mean you have to spend money with them. That's the entire premise of MLM recruitment, actually.
Great point! Thank you. There are a lot of assumptions based purely on our sex. Appreciate your insight
This thread is woven throughout all aspects of human experiences. Look at families, friendships, marriages, it’s everywhere where there is community. And yes, there absolutely should be a “me too” movement for woman who have bullied, oppressed, or harmed another women’s opportunities to be successful or to rise up. women don’t want the best for other women. We can thank 20 years of the real housewives for that poison.
I personally don’t look to other women (around my own age) to advise, guide or mentor me. It’s not worth it. At lease not big events in life.
Thanks for sharing!
Hi Laura
N.B. - You know Me by now, My ''use of'' Capitalization is NOT Yelling : ) 'just used to Stress OR Highlight a point[s]
At the end of the day : ( ...
1) ''Talk'' is Cheap / one only need to ask the Lady of whom you recv'd the phone call from in your real example.
2) ''Actions'' speak 'Louder' than 'Words' & Again, one only need to ask the Lady ....
3) As I've share many times & had this posted on my office wall for many years - Flowers DO NOT 'compete' with the ''other Flowers' around them - they just BLOOM !! : ) : ) : ) [period]
Now - see/re-read above 3) : ) ... BUT - for ''that'' [aka] thee ''just bloom part' to''' take place''' - - - *requires* that ~ MOST of the following to *MUST* be ''within that woman'' [to be *ABLE* to do that- ie support other women] She'd be ... Confident, Self Assured, Competent, Caring, Insightful, Empathetic, Happy with HERself [whether it be] Body weight, Looks, Place - position in life, Career, Healthy [mental health especially], marriage or not, etc] ALSO, a sense of '''overall'' Broad Spectrum' *Contentment* !!! etc ...
Now ...
IF a flower ; ) [aka] a woman has that [see above] [ie] List of Attributes - Then - - - She ''WILL BE''' 99% OF THE TIME - NATURALLY *ABLE* TO - '''Legitimately WITH All Sincerity''' - Support, Encourage, High-five, Comfort, Cheer-on, Praise, Mentor etc other women *AND* '''TRULY'' BE HAPPY 4 ANOTHER WOMAN ACHEIVMENTS etc - EVEN IF THEIR LIFE ''SUCKS AT THAT TIME' !!!!!! ... In essence, This Woman is ABLE TO DO THIS for OTHER WOMEN b/c SHE ''knows'' WHO she is 99% of the time ... '''&''' is ''Happy'' with where she's at : ) x 100
P.S. Not in a cocky or arrogant way, no Diva Material here, no False ''self'', Not b/c of Riches $ /material things etc : ) ''&'' Her ''Joy'' in helping other women / supporting them etc is a Natural *by-product* of her life / The Real [Inner-Happy/content Self] / ''Her''' : )
If a women ''does not have this [Contentment ETC in her life etc] ~ in these woman, You 'WILL [99% of the time] be on the 'receiving' end of THEIR Jealousy, Envy, Hate, Rudeness, Gossip, Disdain, Outright Sabotage etc toward you. EVEN WHEN - SHE [the women who [lack of better words] ''has it together'' - tries & does ''good to them'' - the other women will ''end up'' Hating her GUTS ''&'' Despising Her - for her Help etc ~
In conclusion, that's Sad, ''Dark'' & Down-right Depressing etc : ( BUT, it's True ! b/c ..... these women ''DO - NOT - KNOW - SELF !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! : (
N.B. ~
QUESTION : Why the ''Failure'' ? as per Your query / this Videos Title ~
ANSWER (in a Nutshell) : One ''cannot''' Give a Drink of Water - to another - from ''their *OWN* *EMPTY* Bucket'' ... ... ...
Thanks for the great comment!!! So much good stuff
I also have seen this happen over my many years in different positions. Don't have an answer for why it occurs but have seen it. It will continue to be this way for as long as children are being raised by parents with the same mindset their parents were raised with. In 2024 boys and girls are treated differently in school with preference given to the boys. Just look at dress codes and the reasons behind them. Boys can wear tank tops but girls can't because the girls bare shoulders will "distract" the boys is giving messages about how girls and women should be thought of. And that's just one small example of the thought training I've observed. Subtle. Not outright cruel. But enough.
Good points. Wish I had an answer
I haven't watched the whole video yet, but in my experience you cannot assume that women support other women. This is more the exception than the rule.
In social media you might find this, but I believe social media is not real life for the most part - people say things about others online that they would never say in person a lot. Throughout most of my life I have had friends that have supported me and I do think a lot of women support other women. I choose to look above the pettiness of some people and not be around them. Choose the high road. I don't understand why others get involved in social media. If you are looking for nonsupportive women then you will find them. If you look for supportive ones, you will find them too.
I understand what you’re saying. I wasn’t thinking of social media so much although you see it there too. I see it in people not ‘showing up’ not reaching out to offer congrats Appreciate your comment
The old saying, " It’s lonely at the top." I think it's lonely on the way because you are expanding and becoming aligned with how you envision yourself. Through each stage and career path, I had different acquaintances and circles of influential people. I don't expect any of the women I met 20 years ago who are no longer doing what I'm doing and going where I'm going to be at my appreciation dinner. My small circle of female friends are more communicative about how they want to be celebrated. I think empowerment looks different from person to person. I question if someone is my friend if she did not acknowledge, congratulate, or show up for what I felt was an important event or special occasion. A friend opening a business is a major accomplishment. It's better to know who are opportunists in your life. The older you are, the fewer friends you will have. Empower yourself and love the ones who love you.
Appreciate the comment!
When you realize you became single at the same time Meryl Streep became single again, you already know you can't compete with the young beautiful women, then you realize you're competing with the likes of Meryl Streep, i.e. all those accomplished rich older women who have already made it and look great for their age, that it's like, oh jeez why try?
Young or old there’s never a lack of competition between women unfortunately
I know you're married, but I can tell you there's an especially wicked spin on this woman against woman theme when you are single, as I am. As you start to show interest in certain single men, funny how the previously unseen single women suddenly show up unexpectedly. Competition for men amongst women? Not sweet sugar and spice Godly women!
Wow! I can only imagine
Why can you not go into why it is like this? We woman have pms from mabe 4-10 days every month from our teens to the age of about 60. It does something to us. I have not been in menopause but I know from others that can be hard. I dont think when pms or menopause a woman is her best selv.
Why can you not talk about what a woman should and can probably if she is envying other woman? Like that she can improve her self? Work with grief if she lost a lot and other she knows gained a lot? It is only human to feel envy and not feel that you can be good enough with all you «have» to be successful about. You need this and that and this to. So mabe try loneliness and work on your life. Find out what you want. Dont stay in relationships who make you feel envy - use that time instead to improve yourself and your life. You dont need to feel envy - just do something else - improve your life - use your time not to feel envy and look at others - use that time on you and what you want to do.
I think woman often need to be proud of ourselves what we have done with raising kids for instans. Getting a kid from start to a life where they can support themself. It is well done. I think focus on all you have achieved and build on that.
How does your friends make you feel. If it feels not a safe space and you feel drained - be alone or find some others to be with. A draining feeling like jealousi - you mabe probably do not like that person. So something else and use that time on yourself.
Videos like this is so negative about woman. It is not true. You can not like an support everyone. Do you feel envy you probably have lacked supporting yourself and IMO you should start there.
Well we will have to disagree. I’ve posted videos on my channel talking about every issue you have mentioned above. I don’t view honesty/reality as negative but I certainly can see you come at this from a different view point. Thanks so much for sharing your view.