this is very good. I made the same observations about myself, but I think that this "focus on others/easy intimidation" stem from deep lying insecurities in your own person. once that insecurity is dealt with, your performance will massively increase, no matter what its about. at least that's my experience.
This is good. I often find myself psyched by other males while outside and my body then reacts and is out of my control. Cant just stand it sometimes. I am allergic to any form of intimidations and I hate how others can manipulate my temper and mood. Causes rage inside of me and though I must avoid putting me into trouble. I deserve a much better life than let stupid low-lives pull my emotional strings. I want to win that game to all costs. Thank you!
Elnar, Words of wisdom to live by: "The problem isn't the problem! The problem is how you choose to react to the problem!" We might not be able to control what others may say or do to push our emotional buttons. However, we can learn to control how we then respond to these button pushers! While this is easier said than done, with practice you'll get better and better at it! The locus of control ultimately lives within you!
Hello. Are you still struggling with intimidation issues or are you sorted now, seeing 2yrs have passed after ur last post. 2nd question: are you Christian ? i.e are you a follower of Jesus?
I had my first competition today for 9 months and our first time riding at a higher level (Dressage by the way LOL). My nerves had really got the better of me last night so I went searching for some help. Thankfully I came across your videos. OMG, practising your methods worked wonders for me. I didn't feel nervous and I really enjoyed riding our test. We came 3rd with 67.03%, yes I know, we didn't win, I certainly learnt a lot I can work on for next time. Thank you for sharing your wisdom, knowlegde and experience, you helped me LOADS. :-)
This is very helpful info for my Social Anxiety also. I’ve been hearing the same message in some mindful meditations I’ve been doing. Being conscious of your thoughts and when they drift bringing yourself back to focused again.
@raymond L .. thats a very accurate description of what a lot of unhealthy opponents try to do in events where you do feel intimidated like that (so yes there is a way it can be orchestrated for you, very well pointed out). The other ways however do include self sabotage. Where even in a perfectly healthy competition (like the presenter said) you psych yourself out. If you let your INSECURITIES start to dictate you, then you have already lost before the game. Your insecurities regarding your fitness and capability to win the game or defeat your opponent are your problems. In such events you must work on building your self confidence and have a high self esteem..... [the two are different things.. research for yourself, you're welcome. ]
this is so helpful as someone who's still studying and often times we have to have group projects, i feel intimidated by a particular member not knowing i'm just psyching myself for no good reason. thank you so much for this!!! i'll always remember to pull myself back whenever i drift out of focus. focus always.
I'm learning a new job and a co worker unintentionally psyched me out today by saying "You seem like a good guy, and I really hope you can do it," about something I was struggling with and it really messed me up. I had a good day, was all ready to come home from work and do things I liked, but instead I'm now stressing and can't relax and all I'm thinking about is "is this just gonna be another job I cant do because of adhd and autism?"
Thank you sir. This is the answer I was looking for. At times my body reacts abnormally towards conflict and it happens in a split second so my emotions run wild.I have to automatically catch it and calm myself internally.
When that happens i bring my weapons to show my power and then i show compassion symbolicly and that shit disappears....its like a ghost....you have to show compassion once your syched out
This is true and sometimes, experience by itself doesn't help you avoid getting intimidated. You have to know where it comes from and how to handle it!
I wish they told me when I had a job interview in England and, right before I started speaking, they told me: “We might have to cut you off at some point...”
That certainly was a set up! Tough situation and the best you can do is to stay totally present in the moment on what is happening with the question they're asking you right then. The trick is to keep your focus away from "When are they going to cut me off?" and "What does that really mean for my chances?"
@@TheCompetitivedge You are right, but the usual training on how to cope with the job market is all about how you score COMPARED TO OTHERS, i.e. in which percentile you can hope to be. They make it pretty clear from the beginning that it is all about how you compare with others.
@@andreamalaguti64 All the more reason why you want too keep your focus on what YOU'RE doing and not on what you think others are doing. In any kind of competition, in or outside of sports, focusing on your "opponents" will ALWAYS set you up to be too nervous and then underachieve!
What causes any athlete to get psyched out or intimidated is when they allow their focus of concentration to go to other people.For example, focusing on how good you think your opponent is, how strong, fast, big and/or skilled they are will insure that you get nervous, lose your confidence and perform way below your potential. The key here is to first be aware the instant that your focus leaves YOU and what YOU are doing and goes to others, and second, to quickly and gently return your focus back to what you're doing! Even if you have to bring yourself back over and over again, doing this will help you avoid getting psyched out! And be patient with yourself here! This is a learned skill and the more you practice it, the better you'll get at it!
But no one knows if you get intimidated or not. If you scroll down on TH-cam recommendations, and if you passed by a video (dinosaurs for example; which I like/love, and other animals except fox and bunnies). Then you'll get bullied by it. How? From these TH-camrs/TH-cam trolls. Avoid from that at all times. Don't let your brain or mind to be controlled by cyberbullies or trolls. Because all they been doing is making your stress level worse.
A man threatened to kill me. He thought I was after his girl. I did say something to her I should not have. Live and learn. His threat causes me to be anxious and nervous. I find this hard to deal with.
Crying is one way to get rid of the tremendous performance stress. Just let it run through you. Mike Tyson used to cry before fights in his amateur days.
The sports psychology field is way ahead of other fields of psychology when it comes to this sort of thing. This absolutely can and does work off the field. Many of my own business mentalities have drawn on my athletic background and what worked on the field. Don't throw this stuff away until you try it.
Narcissists are continually intimidated by others. Their narcissism is a defense mechanism/character organization to deal with the intense feelings of inadequacy they continually struggle with. As far as sociopaths go, hard to know what is going in between their ears. My guess is that with both, they will go to great lengths to deny those feelings of intimidation (to themselves and others) that they might experience.
I have a question. I play competitive club soccer in the fall and spring soccer at school. I don't have problems with worrying about games, but my club coach is ruthless and insults players to the point of mental breakdowns. I am scared to death of her because she doesn't ever show emotion or act positively towards our soccer career. I know that I should continue listening to her because she is after all my coach, and I pay a lot of money for the program, so what should I do?
Grace, It sounds to me like you have an emotionally abusive coach! Good coaches do NOT coach thru fear. They create a safe environment for their athletes to learn, excel, make mistakes and develop. Good coaches are respectful of their athletes and treat them so. They are free with their encouragement and positive feedback. While they demand hard work and pursuit of excellence, they do not turn their anger and frustration into emotionally abusive behavior. Bad coaches coach thru fear and intimidation. They knock their players down instead of building them up. They mistakenly believe that you build mental toughness by being hard on their players, yelling at and demeaning them. They mistakenly believe that this is how you prepare athletes to perform at the next level. All that this kind of mistreatment does for their players is to get them over thinking, worried about messing up and over focused on the coach's wrath rather than the action. These kinds of coaches distract their players from the flow of the game and make them too nervous and physically tight to perform to their potential and, as a result, they consistently create performance problems in their players, not to mention that they also do an excellent job of killing their players love of the game! Yelling at, embarrassing and demeaning your players is always the mark of emotional abuse, of bad coaching, NOT of winning coaching. So my advice to you is to understand that this is not about you. These kinds of abusive coaches make players feel like there is something wrong with them instead of understanding that the coach's mistreatment is a mark of their own problems and lack of skill as a coach. If you could, I would encourage you to change teams. Not all coaches are emotionally abusive! And if you can't change teams, it is critical that you not allow this toxic garbage to get to you! I'm not necessarily encouraging you to talk back to or confront your coach. This never ends well with these kinds of under-developed individuals. But I am suggesting that you focus on the game and your teammates and getting as good as you can despite this bad coaching. And ideally, leaving this toxic individual is the best outcome for you so you can maintain your self esteem and re-connect with your love of the game. Hard to enjoy the sport and excel when you are continually this afraid!
Doesnt work. Im aware the moment my focus drifts towards my opponent however despite trying to steer my focus and concentration back to myself it gets stuck there no matter how much i think about my job or role
Focus on how you are going to beat your opponent. How you are going to exploit his weaknesses. How you are going to counter his strengths. Focus on what you are going to do to to win. Keep doing this until you succeed. It doesn't come naturally to some people.
everything comes down to being in the present, mindfulness is such a powerful thing.
this is very good. I made the same observations about myself, but I think that this "focus on others/easy intimidation" stem from deep lying insecurities in your own person. once that insecurity is dealt with, your performance will massively increase, no matter what its about. at least that's my experience.
This is so powerful in academics! Some people really are out for blood.
Thats the most articulate explanation I’ve heard for months. People are so unclear and ramble on.
I like this, I’ll use this at my job, when I come against a demanding boss
How’d it go?
@@JD-ky9ys word has it not very good
he couldnt even pay for the wifi...............
This is good. I often find myself psyched by other males while outside and my body then reacts and is out of my control. Cant just stand it sometimes. I am allergic to any form of intimidations and I hate how others can manipulate my temper and mood. Causes rage inside of me and though I must avoid putting me into trouble. I deserve a much better life than let stupid low-lives pull my emotional strings. I want to win that game to all costs. Thank you!
Elnar,
Words of wisdom to live by: "The problem isn't the problem! The problem is how you choose to react to the problem!" We might not be able to control what others may say or do to push our emotional buttons. However, we can learn to control how we then respond to these button pushers! While this is easier said than done, with practice you'll get better and better at it! The locus of control ultimately lives within you!
Hello. Are you still struggling with intimidation issues or are you sorted now, seeing 2yrs have passed after ur last post.
2nd question: are you Christian ? i.e are you a follower of Jesus?
Wise words. Thanks.
I had my first competition today for 9 months and our first time riding at a higher level (Dressage by the way LOL). My nerves had really got the better of me last night so I went searching for some help. Thankfully I came across your videos. OMG, practising your methods worked wonders for me. I didn't feel nervous and I really enjoyed riding our test. We came 3rd with 67.03%, yes I know, we didn't win, I certainly learnt a lot I can work on for next time. Thank you for sharing your wisdom, knowlegde and experience, you helped me LOADS. :-)
This is about sports but trust me it just helped more than I thought it would in dealing with others.
You can not believe how much your advise has helped me! Thank you sir!
This is very helpful info for my Social Anxiety also. I’ve been hearing the same message in some mindful meditations I’ve been doing. Being conscious of your thoughts and when they drift bringing yourself back to focused again.
@raymond L .. thats a very accurate description of what a lot of unhealthy opponents try to do in events where you do feel intimidated like that (so yes there is a way it can be orchestrated for you, very well pointed out).
The other ways however do include self sabotage. Where even in a perfectly healthy competition (like the presenter said) you psych yourself out. If you let your INSECURITIES start to dictate you, then you have already lost before the game.
Your insecurities regarding your fitness and capability to win the game or defeat your opponent are your problems.
In such events you must work on building your self confidence and have a high self esteem..... [the two are different things.. research for yourself, you're welcome. ]
Thank you so much sir this helped me a lot
this is so helpful as someone who's still studying and often times we have to have group projects, i feel intimidated by a particular member not knowing i'm just psyching myself for no good reason. thank you so much for this!!! i'll always remember to pull myself back whenever i drift out of focus. focus always.
This is great for the workplace too!
Do you have any other videos to help keep the focus going thank you
I'm learning a new job and a co worker unintentionally psyched me out today by saying "You seem like a good guy, and I really hope you can do it," about something I was struggling with and it really messed me up. I had a good day, was all ready to come home from work and do things I liked, but instead I'm now stressing and can't relax and all I'm thinking about is "is this just gonna be another job I cant do because of adhd and autism?"
Using meditation helps me. I've sometimes been way too timid and other times way too aggressive and both of those modes stem from a place of fear
Thanks for the advice
Number 1 video on youtube
This helped thank you really much
Rolando! Glad to hear that!
Thank you sir. This is the answer I was looking for. At times my body reacts abnormally towards conflict and it happens in a split second so my emotions run wild.I have to automatically catch it and calm myself internally.
Thanks!
Thanks, sir.
im so glad youre still making videos!!! you are so helpful
Glad you're finding them helpful!
Really helpful, could really relate to the first few points
When that happens i bring my weapons to show my power and then i show compassion symbolicly and that shit disappears....its like a ghost....you have to show compassion once your syched out
Best way to explain that
Thanks, I really needed this
Glad to hear that you found this helpful!
OK . you the chef i'll try
smara yusuf all that shines ain't always gold. All that looks good ain't meant to be eaten. Namaste.
how do you focus on yourself
You focus on what you have control over.
Focus on your strength, power, skills, anything you are good at.
Oh this helps this was good I'm gonna repeat watching this
People who are 45 50 60 70 80 years old have the most experience when it comes to intimidation and how to approach things
This is true and sometimes, experience by itself doesn't help you avoid getting intimidated. You have to know where it comes from and how to handle it!
man I see this group of guys playing like bosses on the court and when I go to play against them I get shaky and feel small
Beautiful Dr.
Very great lessons that I'm learning now 😎
I wish they told me when I had a job interview in England and, right before I started speaking, they told me: “We might have to cut you off at some point...”
That certainly was a set up! Tough situation and the best you can do is to stay totally present in the moment on what is happening with the question they're asking you right then. The trick is to keep your focus away from "When are they going to cut me off?" and "What does that really mean for my chances?"
@@TheCompetitivedge You are right, but the usual training on how to cope with the job market is all about how you score COMPARED TO OTHERS, i.e. in which percentile you can hope to be. They make it pretty clear from the beginning that it is all about how you compare with others.
In the end, it is always a mixed message.
@@andreamalaguti64 All the more reason why you want too keep your focus on what YOU'RE doing and not on what you think others are doing. In any kind of competition, in or outside of sports, focusing on your "opponents" will ALWAYS set you up to be too nervous and then underachieve!
@@TheCompetitivedge Thanks. That’s important for me.
This information was valid 9 years ago, it's valid now, and if people are still here in 10000 years it will be valid then to.
The answer is "shifting the pressure",if you believe in God and prayer. Do the best you can to prepare and leave the rest to God.
Thank you for that. Aloha
Starting this now!🔥 thanks
Great content. Subscribed!
Thank you!
Well, my father should have taught me this from very young but he failed!
Thank you sir. What you said really helped me.
This is great for my BASEketball carrier
thank you very much Dr. g. although i would love if you could continue to post videos on the channel
Thank you for your videos
That's an excellent advice. Now how?
What causes any athlete to get psyched out or intimidated is when they allow their focus of concentration to go to other people.For example, focusing on how good you think your opponent is, how strong, fast, big and/or skilled they are will insure that you get nervous, lose your confidence and perform way below your potential.
The key here is to first be aware the instant that your focus leaves YOU and what YOU are doing and goes to others, and second, to quickly and gently return your focus back to what you're doing! Even if you have to bring yourself back over and over again, doing this will help you avoid getting psyched out! And be patient with yourself here! This is a learned skill and the more you practice it, the better you'll get at it!
@@TheCompetitivedge thank you for the reply
But no one knows if you get intimidated or not. If you scroll down on TH-cam recommendations, and if you passed by a video (dinosaurs for example; which I like/love, and other animals except fox and bunnies). Then you'll get bullied by it. How? From these TH-camrs/TH-cam trolls. Avoid from that at all times. Don't let your brain or mind to be controlled by cyberbullies or trolls. Because all they been doing is making your stress level worse.
Such Great advice❤
thank you
FAB.
thank you so much
thats it thank you sr!!
Thank you 😊
You're very welcome!
A man threatened to kill me. He thought I was after his girl. I did say something to her I should not have. Live and learn. His threat causes me to be anxious and nervous. I find this hard to deal with.
Best
I'll like
gonna try this when playing apex legends
The mental challenges for these games is quite similar to what athletes have to deal with. You should find this stuff useful!
what am I supposed to be thinking after I focus back on myself??
Why must i cry, why must i cry, why must i cry?? Tell me whyy
you 3 have threesomes
Crying is one way to get rid of the tremendous performance stress. Just let it run through you. Mike Tyson used to cry before fights in his amateur days.
Dont forget how dangerous Trauma can be.
that works only for sports in controlled environment
The sports psychology field is way ahead of other fields of psychology when it comes to this sort of thing. This absolutely can and does work off the field. Many of my own business mentalities have drawn on my athletic background and what worked on the field. Don't throw this stuff away until you try it.
Your a genius
thanks ❤️❤️❤️
You're very welcome!
Do narcissists and sociopaths get intimidated?
Narcissists are continually intimidated by others. Their narcissism is a defense mechanism/character organization to deal with the intense feelings of inadequacy they continually struggle with. As far as sociopaths go, hard to know what is going in between their ears. My guess is that with both, they will go to great lengths to deny those feelings of intimidation (to themselves and others) that they might experience.
I have a question. I play competitive club soccer in the fall and spring soccer at school. I don't have problems with worrying about games, but my club coach is ruthless and insults players to the point of mental breakdowns. I am scared to death of her because she doesn't ever show emotion or act positively towards our soccer career. I know that I should continue listening to her because she is after all my coach, and I pay a lot of money for the program, so what should I do?
Grace,
It sounds to me like you have an emotionally abusive coach! Good coaches do NOT coach thru fear. They create a safe environment for their athletes to learn, excel, make mistakes and develop. Good coaches are respectful of their athletes and treat them so. They are free with their encouragement and positive feedback. While they demand hard work and pursuit of excellence, they do not turn their anger and frustration into emotionally abusive behavior.
Bad coaches coach thru fear and intimidation. They knock their players down instead of building them up. They mistakenly believe that you build mental toughness by being hard on their players, yelling at and demeaning them. They mistakenly believe that this is how you prepare athletes to perform at the next level.
All that this kind of mistreatment does for their players is to get them over thinking, worried about messing up and over focused on the coach's wrath rather than the action. These kinds of coaches distract their players from the flow of the game and make them too nervous and physically tight to perform to their potential and, as a result, they consistently create performance problems in their players, not to mention that they also do an excellent job of killing their players love of the game!
Yelling at, embarrassing and demeaning your players is always the mark of emotional abuse, of bad coaching, NOT of winning coaching.
So my advice to you is to understand that this is not about you. These kinds of abusive coaches make players feel like there is something wrong with them instead of understanding that the coach's mistreatment is a mark of their own problems and lack of skill as a coach.
If you could, I would encourage you to change teams. Not all coaches are emotionally abusive! And if you can't change teams, it is critical that you not allow this toxic garbage to get to you! I'm not necessarily encouraging you to talk back to or confront your coach. This never ends well with these kinds of under-developed individuals. But I am suggesting that you focus on the game and your teammates and getting as good as you can despite this bad coaching.
And ideally, leaving this toxic individual is the best outcome for you so you can maintain your self esteem and re-connect with your love of the game. Hard to enjoy the sport and excel when you are continually this afraid!
@@TheCompetitivedge Thank you so much for your advice!
@@graceclem05 Hope it was helpful! These are really tough situations to have to go through!
Bill Gates?
what is i have ADD ?
Doesnt work. Im aware the moment my focus drifts towards my opponent however despite trying to steer my focus and concentration back to myself it gets stuck there no matter how much i think about my job or role
Focus on how you are going to beat your opponent. How you are going to exploit his weaknesses. How you are going to counter his strengths. Focus on what you are going to do to to win. Keep doing this until you succeed. It doesn't come naturally to some people.
It’s bill gates
Thank you!
thank you so much