Stop Accepting Walking Dates NOW! | Why No Effort Dates Are a Scam
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 16 ก.ย. 2024
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My name is Imani Forester author of the book "30 Reasons Why Men Deserve Nothing." On this channel we're passionate about decentering and opting out of the oppressive social systems that harm women, kids and families. I'm all for women centering themselves, loving themselves, learning to have standards and boundaries, and creating healthy relationships with others - both romantic and platonic. Let's get the discussion popping in the comments. Please don't forget to Like, Comment and Subscribe if you enjoy the content!
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Men’s idea of romance is this: get her to love me for zero reasons
they've all been told they're the prize lmao
Porn
And they don’t even make any sense. “I want her to like me for me” but she doesn’t even know you yet so what basis are you speaking from? Y’all didn’t even go on a date yet??? Isn’t that why you’re asking her on a first date? Because she doesn’t know you..
I’m so tired of these loser scammers. They don’t have what it takes to make it and be competitive like their male peers so they try to make as many shortcuts as they can to access women. They literally don’t realize that they’re letting the woman know that he literally can’t compete like a normal man, so he has to pull scams like this as a result.
Literally
These dudes are so convinced women want to "use them for a free meal" because their mindset is about using us for smex.
I agree that they are projecting, it seems like they ALWAYS ARE, but I don't think they are convinced. I think they just use it as something else to falsely accuse us of. They KNOW its not true, they are just EXTREMELY OBSESSED with watching/hearing us defend ourselves, working hard to convince them its not true, etc. Notice how everything they do puts us in a position to beg for some kind of belief, approval, validation, or attention from them, including defending ourselves from the lies they tell on us intentionally.
But you're right, it seems like they are always trying to find flaws in us to match and deflect from the amount of flaws they have. We bring up femicide, they bring up "ab0r shun" etc.
# Bingo 😌💅
*Exactly.*
And they are acting like we aren't eating meals everyday 🤭 as if we starve ourselves and only get to eat when a guy ask us out 💀 he is a definition of loser. He is 100% getting no dates, he'll just keep walking alone with imaginary date for the rest of his life 😅
They act like a women never had a meal in her life..not interesed in a walk or coffee date I have a excellent coffee maker at home and take Uber and Lfyt everywhere …. Why would I randomly walk around in a park on the first meeting and I wouldn’t even call it a date .. I would not leave my house for that
Years ago, a gal friend tried to set me up with her new-in-town, unemployed brother with no car. I found this out after chatting on the phone. He asked me to come and get him and drive us to a tea house. I politely told him to wait until he had a job and reliable transportation before considering dating.
People have this fixer-upper mentality where they introduce me to men who have no job or direction, some are disabled on SSI and according to their sisters, could use a good nurturing woman like me. I want a man, not a liability. I had to explain to a man I had no interest in, that he needed therapy and I am not a therapist. Even if I were, I wouldn't date a patient. Stop asking me to date men who can't take care of themselves.
Those women do not like or respect you
You need new friends. People like that will pull you down in life
Ugh terrible! I had a friend try to set me up with an older male awhile back, who was missing a leg🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️ And the missing appendage wasn’t the only deficit. I was confused as to why she thought we’d b a match. I came to the conclusion that she really is not my friend 😂🤦🏾♀️
@@user-ol9bo2ei1r Alanis Morrisette did that song Not the Doctor for a reason. People tried to play me for a fool in the early 2000s. Those folks have been scraped off like barnacles.
You are not a rehabilitation center for struggling men!
Fun Fact: serial unalivers were asked specifically what the best thing that was invented for them is.
Their answer every single time?
Dating apps.
Stay safe out their ladies!
It doesn’t help those loser’s case when they ask women to walk in the FOREST..smh
@@melinatedthinka8210 plenty of them also dated and married women that they never unalived.
Not making a case to give the benefit of the doubt, just reinforcing you never really know who anyone is, regardless of activities you agree to, or not.
@@Rose-kj7rz Yea I know, I just wanted to mention just how dumb of an idea it is to suggest going to a forest for a date knowing those optics and the grim reality of unalivers. It was just a smh kind of comment.
🎉powerful wisdom 👏 🙌 ✨️ 🙏 🤧
@@Rose-kj7rz so there's HOPE /s
The non-effort he puts into a date is the same non-effort he will demonstrate to keep you happy in a relationship.
I completely get the argument here and have my own rules for filtering out low-effort men. For walking and coffee dates however, I have a counter-offer which has worked for me for FIRST dates because it serves my own objective and convenience when meeting a man for the first time under certain conditions (mainly being it causes me no inconvenience):
1) I'll go on a walk if you buy me an ice cream, a boba, or a coffee. Saying this when accepting is a great test to see how they act about spending money on you as well as learn something about his tastes, his physical fitness, and how he dresses.
2) The place will be public, conveniently located to me, someplace I'd want to go anyway, and during daytime hours.
3) It will be at a time and day that is convenient to me.
4) I'm not getting dressed up. Like at all. I'll wear whatever I'd be wearing if I were just going to the location by myself.
5) This is the lowest-effort, low-inconvenience way for me to meet a man the first time and decide whether I want to see him again. After this first meeting, I sit back and watch what effort he puts in from there. No more walking/coffee dates. If he doesn't come correct from the 2nd time on, I keep it rolling.
Also the lack of care for the other person
Yeah as a bisexual woman, if I'm asking another woman on a "walking" date, it's really a picnic. Like "let's walk around this park to find a nice spot" or the picnic has occurred and it's a "phew I ate so much, can we walk around the park a bit?". And like I'm gonna mention the picnic when I ask her out. And I'm going to bake her ALL of the best sweets and make the food. But yeah, I don't see men putting in that type of effort for a "walking" date.
Perfect. 😊 Last week, when the man took a lady for a " picnic , " it was VERY LOW effort.. There are levels to " picnics ." 😂 Bruh had red cups and an unpeeled fruit 😳. After my husband took me on multiple REAL dates , I took him to the park . I laid out everything for a nice picnic , boiled shrimp , brie & crackers , etc . # love the baking & cooking for a picnic # that's genuine respect & interest 👌 ❤# well done 👏 😊
Perfect. 😊 Last week, when the man took a lady for a " picnic , " it was VERY LOW effort.. There are levels to " picnics ." 😂 Bruh had red cups and an unpeeled fruit 😳. After my husband took me on multiple REAL dates , I took him to the park . I laid out everything for a nice picnic , boiled shrimp , brie & crackers , etc . # love the baking & cooking for a picnic # that's genuine respect & interest 👌 ❤# well done 👏 😊
That sounds like a dream date! I wish a guy would ask me out on a picnic date. I swear, the men of this generation aren't that creative in this day in age.
@@cocoace7587I saw that video and didn’t know how to feel about it. It’s crazy that I’m still undoing the effects of constant gaslighting towards women in regards to dating standards. 😭
See? Women get it.
I was cracking up at the guy who said anyone who refuses to go on a walking date is superficial and not interested in him. Can we say GASLIGHTING at its finest? If you’re broke then don’t date, focus on making a better life for yourself. Now if you’re offered a walking as a first date know he’s not interested in you and he’s testing your boundaries. If taking you on a walking date as a first date is his offer you should walk, AWAY FROM HIM.
👍🏾
I like the outdoors, plus I hate large crowds. I went hiking in the mountains our 1st date. We drove there of course but while out there we went to restaurant, had ice cream by a creek afterwards and to a small festival that was outdoors. It was actually sweet, moving forward he's paying my bills. But I do agree if that's not worth taking a chance on then don't do it❤
@winninginlife that doesn't count as a walking date. You went out to eat and to a festival that was outside. Money was still spent and an activity was still done. (Hiking). That is not what these walking date guys are doing. They just want to walk in the park, and nothing else.
@@user-ol9bo2ei1r 👍🏾
@@user-ol9bo2ei1r That's true...but later on we did that and had a picnic in the park. I guess if a guy wants to go on a Walking date suggest a picnic as well because you'll get hungry afterwards. If he says no to something so sweet and thoughtful definitely don't go ❤️
Women said they'd rather be alone with a bear in the woods and now dudes want to bring women to the woods. Wtf lol
😂🤣😂💀
They are jealous of a bear😂
They will do anything to harass women. But women aren't the prize, lol
😂😂😂😂
😂
That's not even low effort, it is below low effort and even almost no effort, and that guy SHOULD be embarresed.
🎉WONDERFULLY STATED 👏 👏 👏
My great grandmother always said minu golf was tge perfect first date for three reasons.
First,Because it is in public with lots of lights and people
Second, you can see how he deals with frustration and weather he's a good sport, which tells you if there should be a second date.
And third, because you have a club in your hands if things go bad.
I love this!
Meanwhile the women in my life glorified walking dates. I had to learn all of this very late in life 😮💨.
Mini golf is super fun too. I'd love to do that for a date ❤
Thats super smart, for that era. Nowadays we have the luxury of just not having to deal with men at all. Single and child-free for life !!
This is adorable and practical
The point that the guys wanting coffee dates are trying to date lots of girls on cheap dates makes sense.
He still would be cheating himself in the long run. While that seems strategic and a lousy/bummy shortcut to having access to women, those other women are also seeing other men and would likely choose the guy who took her out at a better date than the guy who just brought her for coffee.
It’s like they don’t understand that while they’re dating other women, those women are also dating other men.
@@melinatedthinka8210 excellent point
I’m a waitress and can confirm.
Then those guys need to learn how to date properly. It's not a womans job to be concerned about a mans pockets. He shouldn't be dating if he can't afford it anyway
Its giving: "I dont like women, but I need to prove to everyone I can get at least one".
Met a guy at a Starbucks in a big outdoor shopping center, we sat and talked. He tried to convince me to go back to his place so he could cook dinner for me. I told him absolutely not. He suggested a walk around and I said ok. The minute this guy got me out of sight of foot traffic and car traffic he attempted to force a kiss on me and grab me. I was struggling to push him away and forcefully telling him to let me go. He leaned his head close to my ear and whispered “you know I don’t have to let you go, right?” Terrifying! He let me go and I made a beeline back to my car. This XY assaulter messaged me the following Monday to ask for another date! The audacity.
That's horrible! Sorry that happened
I'm glad you are safe.
A narc who deserves to be in jail.
Oh my gosh! The same thing happened to me, we went to starbucks and then I agreed to go for a walk and he forced a kiss on me 😰
Let's talk about how men clearly want to fcuk on the first date... and we don't automatically get up and leave 😬 Clearly, the "walk" is just a measure to get to the sex...
My mother told me, "If a man doesn't spend money on you, he neither likes nor respects you."
She was happily married to my lovely father until she died and he provided for her a soft, comfortable life full of love and consideration. He taught me by his actions how a man should treat me and SO MANY MEN are mad that I won't accept their half stepping bullshit. They generally accuse me of "fatherless behavior" or bitterness until I shut them up by explaining that it was Papa who gave me my standards.
Papa never took Mama on a walking date.
These men will say anything, they are so digusting
"fatherless behavior" bc you were taught to NOT be manipulated and have standards... that's generally what fathers teach their daughters because they KNOW how all men are. Smh
@@LizzieMagz Right. They get mad when I won't "humble" myself or "know my role", but I shouldn't have to pretend to be lesser to make him feel like he's a man nor should I adhere to some "role" he's made up in his head. Papa treated Mama like a queen, and I am my mother's daughter. I deserve queen treatment too, or I'll just rule my domain alone.
@ciaochowbella extreme amount of respect to you for standing by those values and refusing lower treatment!
🎉most of these men are trash 🗑 yo momma was super 👌 👍 blessed 🙌
The very moment a male mentions that our first date is a "meet and greet", a "coffee date", or a walk in the park to get to know one another, I just block him. No conversation about it, no grace on it. Just BLOCKED. If they want low effort to win the woman, they need to go find a low effort woman on the heauxe stroll, cuz I ain't it.
Exactly. That's what more women should do.
@@neonred7594 Like your style!
Do the meet n greet just for the fun of it. Amd make it the most uncomfortable thing. In the 90s a man sat next to me in MacDonald's once and he was just staring at me, so I decided to act mentally ill, I put a pickle on my cheek and gave a creepy smile and looked in-between his eyes which made me look even more insane. He didn't know what to do but just get up and walk away. It was hilarious. Do the meet n greet just for the fun of it.
I’m so tired of these loser scammers. They don’t have what it takes to make it and be competitive like their male peers so they try to make as many shortcuts as they can to access women. They literally don’t realize that they’re letting the woman know that he literally can’t compete like a normal man, so he has to pull scams like this as a result.
I prefer a coffee date as a first date. It’s low stress and if he buys me coffee then he can’t expect anything in return. I don’t like a meal as a first date because if he eats with his mouth open or any other such horrible habit, I’m stuck there trying not to upchuck all over the table.
My grandson takes me for a walk and picks me flowersalong the way he is the only guys i would accept this from he is 4 years old
Aww, that's cute 💐
I had a guy take me on a walking date, and when I suggested we go for coffee after, he met me at the coffee shop and then didn’t offer to pay for my coffee…no thanks
The saying “How you do some things is how you do all things” comes to mind. Men who would ever dare to ask for a walking date will be the same ones to not pay for a coffee. They will do everything cheap and make you feel cheap. Definitely never go on a walking date again.
The next step will be to sit on a roadside somewhere because a walk takes too much effort. This is a way to get women to lower their standards.
😂
It’s already bad enough when they expect the woman to come over to THERE apartment. The disrespect and laziness is appalling.
IT WORKS ‼️ Look at how many women are saying they are okay with coffee dates 😬
Menz risk investing a few dollars to romance a woman they're (allegedly) interested in. Women risk not coming back home.
Right, the odds are barely in women's favor
THAT part.
I am not doing a walk date. I wear makeup on a first date, and I am not going to make myself up, to walk down the street with a man I don't even know.😨
Right! Or a Popeye's parkinglot. 🤦🏾♀️
This and they offer nothing during a walking date and afterwards they expect sex lol do not hang out with men for free if it’s not a dinner or experience I will not go
Yeah, a walking date sounds pretty lame and for a first date, a walking date sound dangerous if you don't know the guy well at all.
Walking... Like a dog? They're insane.
🎉AMEN 🙏 🙌 👏
It's crazy to me how women are pointing out how dangerous it is to be with a man that they don't know, yet still advocating that they want that same man to "pick them up" for a date. It's like somethings not clicking.
One of the women said this, and in this day and age I don't agree. Besides, anything can happen and you don't want this dude to be your only way home. Other than that, I agree with him putting effort into a date.
Exactly. They should go by themselves. I made the mistake of letting a man take me back home and it was obvious he was a predator. He would say things like "I can't believe you already trust me". Who says that? It was really uncomfortable. I was like "never again".
They’ve been programmed through movies like those prom nights that pick women up from their home.
I agree that walking dates are better for museums and exhibits.
We've all had people in our lives who pretended to be more important than they were. I feel like a lot of men who have NO GOLD TO DIG are claiming women want them for "free meals" because that's the money level they are on: not free trips, not shopping sprees, cars, homes, makeovers, etc. No, they can only PRETEND to be wanted for a #1 with cheese and maybe a shake, and even THAT is a lie because how many men would you want to spend an hour with and only get food in return? 😆
My shakes always taste better when I drink them in dust-free, bum-free zones!
right, they're taking a hit financially at McDonald's or KFC
🎉HALLELUJAH 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏
💯
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
When I was younger, before I had had enough experience with men, I would have gone on walking dates, but now that I'm past all of that, I can say don't do it. Most men are looking to put on a good face in the beginning, and slowly stop all effort. So, if you let them start with a free date, they will decide that you are low maintenance and they will try to set you up to let them use you.
Men don't want the girls who try to like them for who they are. They want a challenge that they have to beg, because it makes them feel like it's a game that they must win. They feel like what you accept from them defines your worth, so if you accept little to no effort, they will put you in their "low maintenance and unworthy" box.
You guys are so lucky to have all of this great advice available to y'all. My life would be so different if I had had access to the advice of older women.
👍🏾🎯 You are so right, with *every* point! 💯❤️
This is true. Pity they are like that it doesnt inspire very much respect tbh.
Once I figured this out, I hated men. And I never slept around or anything. If a guy doesn't want me for who I am, I'm not interested. I don't want a masochist.
They'll go as far as you let them go and take as much as you as you let them take. It's like there's no moral compass in them keeping them back and telling them to stop. Scary.
Plus, this makes any relationship with them incredibly tiring. Who wants to be with a "partner" to whom you can show no weakness, without it being exploited and punished with disrespect? That's not a partner. No matter how you look at it, there's really no way to win this.
A guy with a bonnet on asking for a walking date 😂😂😂
👍🏾🎯 They literally do just keep telling on themselves, don't they? 💯🤣🤣🤣
Just so stupid 😂.
😂😂😂😂
Drizzle Drizzle
LMAOOOO
I literally had a 19 year old teen take me out for lunch and than we went to garden with paid entry for a first date, and he paid for everything for both of us, so remember that when some whole ass grown adult man asks you out for a walk.
😂😂😂 right
For sure, dated a guy where every date started with questions.. Where do u want to go? What day? What time? I wished just once he would've said Hey, I want to pick you up from work on Thursday and take you to dinner. It didn't get better in two years. I'll buy myself flowers 💐🌸🌼🌹🐻
Yes, a date without a plan. It really bothers me.
As a teenager dating fine whatever… but once you hit 20 that bar needs to be raised expeditiously!
No not fìne teach girls to expect more not bare minimum..my girls will not ever go for dates in a park!!
No, even as a teenager these male teenagers need to know that it should cost them to be in proximity to girls/women.
Teenage girls are in the highest demand even amongst old men. If I have a son and he tells he he likes a girl, the first thing I will ask him if he has money to take care of her and her needs. And he needs to get a job if he wants to date girls.
“I have watched many episodes of NCIS. I have watched Criminal Minds…I KNOW how to profile an un-sub. I can do this!” 😂😂😂 I’m dead!!! Idk this woman but I love her! ❤
😂 Right . All I kept thinking about was Morgan 😍🤪
😂 Right . All I kept thinking about was Morgan 😍🤪
😂😂😂
And insert all the x amounts of Law & Order spinoff shows to add to this point. If Olivia Benson wouldn't approve of this date, ain't no way in hell I'm going on it!
4B 🐻🧸
I don't accept dates from males anymore because males disgust me. I need a healthy appetite to enjoy my dinner at a restaurant, so I go alone or with my girlfriends.
#4B
I didn’t know what 4B means, so I looked it up. Here is what the internet says, for anyone else wondering!
What does 4B stand for?
Recently, in Korea, young feminists launched the 4B (4非) movement: bihon, bichulsan, biyeonae, bisekseu, meaning the refusal of (heterosexual) marriage, childbirth, romance, and sexual relationships.
Interesting!
@@onebraincellleft2563it's the way for all women who refuses patriarchy. I live by the 4B as well. No men will use me as a host body and slave. My parents gave me this life to live it. Not serve an XY chromosome paired narcissist.
This video came in perfect timing. Just a couple of days ago a dusty suggested me to "go for a walk" (excuse me?). There was no way I would go on a real date with him, but anyway... I suggested him a nice restaurant and he dismissively replied "no, maybe later".
Btw, want to know how old he was? OVER 70. So not only was he dusty but crusty as hell.
The audacity of some men is unbelievable.
🎉Congratulations 🎊 👏 💐 🥳 U truly dodged a super dusty bc @ his age he ain't never changing!
@@SunQueen-d7l thank you! 💕 he was an entitled creep. He thought he was doing me a “favour” by letting me around him… gross.
You're not even half his age. Maybe he had dementia.
Omg. A 36 YO guy I dated said he doesn't do dinner dates early on. He met up with me and we talked and such. But now I realize how whack that was. I'm not use to accepting those shitty dates. He was trying to smash too. No! He wants my body for doing nothing at all? Foh!
@@Poodle_Gun Maybe. But he did give creep vibes… a man his age has no business talking to young women. Stay safe! 🙏
I don't drink coffee, but I do drink tea: so a good first date would be a full afternoon tea service. If a "walking date" isn't taking place at a museum, zoo, aquarium, or botanical garden then it simply isn't happening.
Don’t even have him pick u up it dangerous if ur getting in a car with stranger
Not to mention now he knows where you live
Ladies , ask yourselves, 💬 " Would he ask Becky or his dream girl to walk on a first date ? "
In case you are not sure , the answer is heck no . He would never take the chance of her saying no . Men know the women that they HAVE to bring their A game with . B/c he knows that she finally gave HIM a chance. And , there's no way he would blow it by asking stooooopid questions. 😅😂
Oh please! As if dream girls get treated any better. I am no longer impressed by men who pull out all of the stops trying to impress. Bringing their A game means nothing. How much someone is willing to spend on a first date doesn't tell you anything. Some of the stingiest most selfish men are willing to "pay to play". That is how they hook women. I want to talk to someone on the phone first, then a casual date. A coffee date is fine with me. You'd be surprised at the number of men I have eliminated like that. They don't have a fancy restaurant to impress you with. They have to talk. The more he talks, the more he reveals himself. It saves me time and effort wasted on a fancy date for nothing.
The thing with Becky or the dream girl is that if he’s a jerk, the facade will only last a while before he shows himself. Have your standards and don’t drop them.
@@misspriss2482 I still want to go to the restaurant. It doesn't have to be fancy. I'm not dressing up for a coffee. And talking is cheap. Yes, there are many men that simply want to impress you to hook you up but it's still better than zero effort at all. Men value more what they had to invest in. And at least I discover new beautiful places.
@@name3950If he's a jerk, just block and move on.
And for us bi/lesbian women, “would I take the woman of my dreams out on this date?” Can be very telling as well
my city isn’t walkable; sounds like a trap
“Do you want to drive next to me on a stroad?” ☠️😂 romantic date
The problem is that people used to acknowledge that men and women are very different and have different natures. Like, we used to acknowledge that men appreciate nothing that they don't work for so it's almost like we're not allowed to both state and know the obvious reasons women shouldn't accept walking dates
👍🏾 🎯💯❤️ Exactly!
Nowadays, there's the misconception that since women and men are "worth" the same amount on the labour market now, they are equal on the dating market, too. They are wrong. Without violence, manipulation and indoctrination since the beginning of time, most women would not date them. Men had to skew all other areas of life so that the dating market became (roughly) even for men and women.
forever proud of myself for rejecting a guy bc he wanted our first date to be walking in some lame park (no monuments or landmarks) and getting high. and we're in our mid 20s!
👍🏾🎯💯❤️
Oh hell nah .. just to get high. What a BUM and a child
They are just cheap and not creative at all. 🤣
And they will be on your shoulders
@@danielastoica3354 👍🏾🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Yeah, when they say that they can afford better dates but choose not to that absolutely sound like a load of BS. They get mad and project their financial insecurities and inadequacies on women and call her a gold digger as a shaming tactic because deep down he’s the one ashamed of his incompetence.
Then they say they want a woman who only likes him for him…likely because he really just doesn’t have anything to offer. And that’s not even possible because she doesn’t even know him yet to like/dislike him in the first place, like that’s why they’re going on a first date LOL.
@@melinatedthinka8210 it’s because they pick and choose the women they want to take on nice dates and cheap dates. They categorize us for everything
On more than one occasion I've had blokes say they forgot their wallet to try to make me pay. So slimey and such a turn off.
Since they "tried" to make you pay, what happened?
@@kimcham9949 I said I'm too poor to pay for both of us. Then magically their wallet appeared.
A male "friend" and I went for a smoothie at a cafe, I was going to pay for my own so started ordering mine and then he quickly jumped in and ordered his and said he left his wallet in the car. It was crappy of him to just assume I could pay for his. Then when we met up the next time there was a 'pay to park' situation where he called me from the entrance and asked if I could pay because it only accepts card and he only had cash. After him doing it twice in a row I'm just like nah. It just makes me feel like hanging out with him will cost me if he's going to find sneaky ways to get me to pay every time.
I'd pay for myself only and tip the waitress
@@kimcham9949 one time I said I'm too poor to pay for both of us and then magically he had money in his car.
Haha this guy wanted to take me for a walk in the park and my first thought was…does he think I’m a dog? I declined and just stopped responding. He thought I was gonna give him some😂😂😂😂 I think not. I don’t even know him.
One of these dudes tried this on me. Well well, sir sir, I am an avid hiker. I had him meet me at a trail that starts in a neighborhood (looked so easy, so innocent). Nooooo, it is a 5 mile hike up and down hills, some along the bluff/cliff where you can fall 50+ feet into the lake. This was an AllTrails rated "Hard" trail. I dragged him through that trail. He was huffing and puffing while I was fine.
.......he did not call me back. 🤣😂
👍🏾🤣🤣🤣
😂😂
girl 🤣🤣
Good job turning the tables!🤣🤣
😂😂
In Croatia, it’s ‘beach?’ 😂 I like these walk the dog men because they eliminate themselves early. Love that for us
I've heard Croatia has lovely beaches, but no, not for a first date.
👍🏾🎯💯❤️
They should be fodder for a military campaign
I would never but if you choose to bring the mace and be very safe human trafficking is getting wild.
This…🎉
A walk, yes. I love going on walks with my friends. That’s what you are, a friend, at that point. Unless romantic gestures are involved, a walk is a friend outing.
You get what you settle for.
I’m so tired of these loser scammers. They don’t have what it takes to make it and be competitive like their male peers so they try to make as many shortcuts as they can to access women. They literally don’t realize that they’re letting the woman know that he literally can’t compete like a normal man, so he has to pull scams like this as a result.
Eating or drinking what a stranger has prepared? Nope.
The first guy put it very clear, when a man wants to save and make it cheap, better way of him spending time would be going to find a job and waisting his time while earning the money first.
It is so audacious of those mean, entitled men to even think they deserve a woman in that condition of balance account and mind.
Maybe as the next step they will ask a woman on the first date to pay those male dolls for they precious existance?
For the men who is for walk dates, I have a question for u. What would u tell ur daughter if she said she was going on a walk date with a stranger? Would u approve it? U don’t know the guy or what he look like. Ur a man and u know what men initially want, right? So would u let ur daughter go? What would be ur advice to her? Hits different when it’s ur daughter and not someone else’s daughter that u want to take for a “walk” huh?
Nature walks are one of the most dangerous things you can sign up for to do with a stranger. And men know that.
Lunch on a first day DEFINITELY. Daytime. Plenty of people to call if needed. Plenty of witnesses. Easy way to get everything on security cameras. Comfortable and tasteful. Plenty of time to gossip about it right after.
Wtf is a walking date? lol there’s always something new
Going for a walk in a park, a hike, etc. It's not new, they just put a label on it.
A walk in the park for a first date. What are you, 15 years old?! Or do you plan to bring a shovel?
No man who cares enough to want to impress and respects you will take you for a park walk, especially on a first date. Unless its to a lovely restaurant in the park.
Date 3 or 4 maybe - especially if you haven't asked the deeper probing questions yet, and definitely no secluded spots. Low effort, low energy people would get the wrong idea about your boundaries.
Any man that does this doesn't like you. Move along sir.
I can take myself on a nice walk whenever I want. Why the heck would I go walking with a man I don’t know 😂 Talk about time wasting.
If your standards are low on the first date, how do you all of a sudden expect to raise them later? If a walk is a date, I’m scared to see where the low is going to go. How much lower can you get than a walk?
I love this. I’m older and I’ve never been asked on a walking date. I never considered it. I agree that it’s dangerous, but also super lazy. F that.
PS an ex, after dating for a bit, asked me on hiking dates…he FREQUENTLY joked about pushing me off a cliff. I broke it off with him after a few months when he stopped taking his meds.
"My gf had to prove to me over the years for her to get 5 star dates!!"
I love the botanical gardens and museums…so if he’s asking me to go out and go walk around the botanical gardens or the museum for an exhibit b/c he was thoughtful about it then yeah! That would be great. I would def set the standard and need something to eat after tho, have me out here walking and working up an appetite.
But to ask out on a coffee date and walk around the park? For a first date?
First of all, I’m not Jill Scott…we don’t know each other well enough yet/ to just walk around aimlessly like that for a first date, and also I don’t even like coffee.
If they think they can get away with asking out on a “walking date” he may get 10 maybe 15 minutes of my time, in a specific area then I have to go b/c I have reservations planned for a solo date (lunch or dinner, painting, etc-and no he can’t come with me and he doesn’t need to know I have plans, I just have to go). He prob won’t hear from me again b/c a “walking date” is just not thoughtful or considerate of my interests (esp if we’ve been communicating prior) and thoughtfulness and consideration are something that I value. The date doesn’t have to be flashy, just thoughtful.
Even if a guy is like oh, was thinking during the walking date we just aimlessly walk then spontaneously plan something after…no, there’s a set amount of time I have to spend on these things and it’s disrespectful to think someone else just has nothing else to do but just “hang around” and “see what comes of the night”. Again, not being considerate of how I may feel/how comfortable I may feel or my time. That’s just not a good first impression. Meh,
That’s just my opinion though. I trust any woman can decide for herself what may be best for her when it comes to these things. 💕
Exactly
love how the lady in pink polka dots says, "miss me with that." so cute. 😀
I’m sorry but there’s no way men don’t know the dangers of being alone with them ESPECIALLY when we do not know them. Also, a walk is the most minimal effort thing you could possibly do.
I like fun dates. Dinner can be awkward because all we're doing is sitting and talking/looking at eachother when we eat. Then just walking is boring too, like we were walking around a Aquarium or something im fine with that
I’d agree with this. Dinner is kind of high pressure for me as an introvert, much better as a third date or so. Activity dates are ideal bc you can still talk like in dinner and learn the important info, and may actually reveal more. For example, if you take him bowling and he’s a sore loser and makes comments about losing to a woman, that’s good info to have right away
Dinner is fine with me.
@@Da_bear-ij9gm I suggested bowling to a guy for a date and that is exactly what happened to me lol. He was a sore loser, accused me of trying to humiliate him, and just scowled for the rest of the date.
Men , plzzzz keep asking us on walking dates & coffee dates . Then , we don't have to waste each other's time . Ask , b/c some women will say yes & some women will # block 🚫 😅. # go ahead & try your luck 😌💅 B/c we are good , either way 😉 👍.
👍🏾🎯💯❤️
Lmao a walk isnt even a date. Like “bro i’m not a dog. BYE”
Facts
I am likely to tell these cheap skates to "take a hike"!😂
Not going on a,walk with a man I don't know.
There is something more, even if he is not a serial wanting to extract you from civilised areas if he wants to meet you in the forest, in discretion, there surely is other malefic reason he does not want to be seen with you in public, by for example his official woman or wife. At the very best hes not only cheap, theres something very fishy behind that.
Reminds me of the movie Half Baked, when Thurgood was broke, and took that girl on a walking date with $8 in his pocket.
Never saw the movie, but "that girl" told me everything
Pepper spray gel! Also yeah not a walk that’s scary.
And yet some guys will go to a strip club and drop hundreds for a few lap dances so why can’t they pay for a dinner date? They are broke or don’t like you, not generous
They say walks are great because no look at each other because it’s cringe. You can talk and get to know each other. So, a phonecall would be the same?, was my first though. Let’s just talk on the phone. It’s the same to get to know each other. They want you with them for very selfish reasons
Exactly
Not gonna lie. I love waking dates. Four years ago I met my husband on a walking date same with one of my friends. She met her husband on a walking date. In both cases we met on hinge and it was back when most of the men on hinge were serious about getting into a relationship and were altruistic and communicative. I’m not in the current dating scene (thank god) but back when I was dating it was a nice creative way for us to get to know each other in a public place where I feel safe and for us to feel no pressure with each other. The issue is that now a days men are not trying to take women on dates as a creative way to get to know each other they are just trying to be cheap. At first I was confused by this title but I’m glad they clarified that they don’t mean “don’t go on a walking date” they mean “if we are going on a walking date than it needs to be done with effort by walking through a museum, festival or a botanical garden.
Thank you! This is a common sense answer.
The issue is… pimps, and degenerate have told these men to do walking dates so that they don’t have to make any real investments while trying to get sex from women. A walking date with a man with real intentions is 100% different than a degenerate trying to not invest money into you because his intentions are to sleep with you.
I think walking with a man you don't know is super weird. I would feel extremely uncomfortable. Does he treat you like you are the prize now?
Yeah… these types of men make low effort husbands. There is a reason the divorce rate is so high along with weaponised incompetence.
Oh yes we joke about it because when we met I was set to make more than him. I told him that if we are going to date I need him to make at least 70k and in two years he increased his income to more than me, bought a house for our family, took my mom out to dinner to show how much he cares about me, bought rings with symbols from my culture to ask for my hand in marriage, and he agreed to financial support me while I’m working to my full license so he is paying the full mortgage, my health insurance, and most of my expenses. The only thing he isn’t paying for is groceries because I insisted to cover the groceries bill.
At this point you may as well have a facetime date, Skype if you have android. Low effort but safer, which makes sense for women. This is too funny though.
@@zooweellama I love using Skype/face time! Helps me to screen out the undesirables
Sometimes you never know with men. I have had initial dates be laid back, but the man still paid for everything and paid my bills as the relationship progressed and I had the opposite. My last boyfriend took me to a fancy place, was extremely doting and he turned out to be an ain't $hit ninja lol. You never know.
This.
True
It’s meant to be both , use DISCERNMENT. Love bombing is a thing and no smart woman is making it all & soley about the money and laying it on thick. This is why you always have your own and take your time.
🎉cheap dates are; so he can date multiple wm & get sex w/o $pending $ignificantly & save that money for "the one." ..would he take his dream queen 👸 on a no/ low-effort cheap or free date like; ☕️ coffee, movies, walks in the park, taco bell🌮, ice-cream, cookn at home, Netflix🤔? NOPE 🙅♀️. He'd go above & beyond to impress her. bc he'd never risk losing her. Say 👎 No to cheap dates bc it'll only go downhill fr there & ur whole relationship will be a waste of time. Guaranteed! Ur future self will thank you 😊 🙏. Trust!!!
Yeah. In my own opinion, it's probably because they're broke, but that just means you don't need to be out here possibly fucking up someone's life from that baby step, good sir. No need for walking dates, if you can't protect them on these streets. No need for walking dates, if you're not coming intentionally with why you chose that.
Planning a date shouldn't be anything hard if you enjoy someone's company. Standards, safety, and security.
A walk in the park and a coffee date in 2024 are just not viable as safe first dates anymore. A Zoom call (for LDR, not for actual first dates) speaks to more of a genuine intention towards looking to find a partner.
People do want to date to marry. It's hard out here in these streets alone, but the last thing a situationally-aware person would do is allow for the chance of any sort of interaction to become sour by only accepting safe environments that go with it.
Ps: I've barely gotten into the video (at 6:46), but I already agree! Amazing video.
What is with the blue bonnet on this guy's head? It shows that he is the type who puts little effort in a date.
He's too busy COMPETING *WITH* WOMEN to be concerned about what it takes to *truly* *date* *one* . 🥴
The bonnet answered all our questions 😂
That type of encounters should be called by its name: Randonautica.
A man once asked me on a walking date and said that maybe we can walk in a park near my apartment. I said no.
Absolutely essential. I am just about to block one “walker” that is definitely out of my league, by his actions 😅
“you’re burning calories to get to know this person” 😂😂😂
They want access to women so bad by any means just to be nefarious.
I met a man who was a second generation owner of a successful mechanic and service centre for cars. He owned his home in a wealthy area, had just come back from a international tropical vacation and had 3 grown kids that also owned their own homes. He asked to take me for a walk..
Slap in the face.. He didnt see you as worthy and was testing to see how little he could give you. 😭
Walking dates...😂😂😂
What?😮😅
No walks by the water or coffee! I ain’t getting ready for THAT!it’s been 4 years of no dating and felt this way in 2020! Bye!
Oh how I weep for heterosexual women...
& as a Black american Woman, it's something about hearing an African (male/female) say the N word that's upsetting and disappointing. (weird feeling)
👍🏾🎯💯❤️
8:32 oh, we can tell exactly what kind of “lifestyle” this man is going to provide. It’s giving build a bro. Pass.
To the young guy in the v neck…we also do not want you.
To the dude who said , “never done it…wouldn’t even come to mind…crazy” ❤ absolute gentleman
Lastly, I don’t think all XYs intend to devalue women by offering low effort dates, but it does show their mindset. You can say no until they learn how to be a better date.
If you agree to a walking date (only if it’s safe) do it for a troll! Match the energy turn up in baggy jeans and a flannel all buttoned up! Or a tracksuit bottoms and a big hoodie. No makeup, no nice hairdo, trainers (sneakers) on. Let’s see who just really wants “to get to know you”! They’d be pissed off! Match the energy (or lack thereof)!
@@Acehigh-Jenkins lol I did something similar this guy proved over the phone he had a stink attitude. BUThe was the finest man I’ve ever seen and I was in the mood to go out on the date. I came dressed in Nikes, regular shirt, and basic capris. He was looking like “ “why you dress like that”. So we went bowling then Chilis and I ordered an appetizer, drinks a 2 for $20 and dessert. He asked are you gonna treat ME next time? I lied and said yes. I grabbed my huge doggie bag, got in the car and blocked him, had the leftovers that next day 😅😅😅🤣
LMAO thx
Walk yourself to more hours at work
Get some 💰 to pay for a date
You need to develop yourself more
I'm 42, walking dates give me a barometer of the kinda shape he's in. I need to know if he's looking for a nurse and a purse. I move at a brisk pace and will definitely pick up the pace if he's talking about bs. We meet at a public park, and I'm licensed to carry, with mace and a taser. We can be nice, or we can get into it. 😂 9/10, they ask me to lunch or something afterward. I'm not interested in pressure so I won't pressure him.
👍🏾 Now... *Your* comment is GREAT! 😃❤
@@kimcham9949 thank you! 😊❤️ Keep ya head on a swivel. It's weird out here! 😂
Why don't they invite you to have a lunch first? Sounds like they are testing you. Do they provide after that?
@RedRose01289 I invite them on a walk first when they ask me out. Yes, they provide after. I'm a bit free spirited and do what I want, and men move around me. I haven't been in a monogamous relationship since my partner passed in 2011. I prefer it my way. If they think they are testing, they are sadly mistaken cuz I'm doodling instead 😂
Hmmm the "walking date" one of them pointed out something that made sense it was the lady, she said "you're going to take me out to dinner, so I can sit and i can study you..." she makes a good point. If you're walking, you are going to be too distracted to study him, youre too busy checking your surroundings as you walk, to distracted by him pointing out stupid things, too busy trying not to trip, or get lost, too busy making sure you can retrace your step if this dude decided to just walk off because he doesn't like you. Its literally him getting all the benifit of seeing you, having your time, seeing how you walk, talk, smell, probably looking at your ass occasionally when you're walking ahead a little bit, not to mention he's upping his "status" and attractiveness to passer by women whom will assume you're his girlfriend already, especially if he's weird and tries to hold your hand or hold on to your waist as youre both walking. Like absolutely f*cking not, this is worse then the "coffee date" you both have to sacrifice something if you're going out to get to know someone. For her, it's her time and energy her getting dressed up, for him its money. She can't take her time back from spending it with you, and you can't get your money back from spending it on her at the eatery. Fair trade
Women invest plenty of money in the getting ready and looking good part. Clothes, makeup, hair, nails, etc.. ideally men would do the same but for the most part, they don’t. Minimal effort all the way around.
Millennial woman here...I guess I'm weird because I don't think the concept of a first date being a walking date is automatically 100% a bad thing. I need more context to make a determination. I'm ten minutes into the video and I had to pause it to start this comment, which I now realize is probably going to be long, so thanks for reading.
The guy that says you shouldn't date if you can't afford it gives off classist vibes. Financial success does not always equal a good and self aware person. He's basically saying men in poverty don't deserve love and affection, that there is something wrong with him that he has to improve.
A walk in the forest, I agree that is a bad idea for a first date.
If the weather is suitable to be outside and its in a moderately to heavily public setting I don't see how that's bad. Especially with fall around the corner. A nice warm coffee and colorful leaves sounds like the perfect date. Or hot chocolate in the crisp cold of winter. Or a walk just when flowers start to bloom. Or a walk in the summer with birds flying and small critters darting from tree to tree.
And, I'm sorry, but the blond woman around 11 minutes sounds like a complete entitled snob. A date shouldn't be a performance to be critiqued. Who the f*&% cares if someone doesn't hold chopsticks correctly.
Maybe that guy who planned a nice dinner, picks you up, pays, and *gasp* can hold chopsticks correctly...how does that mean he isn't just another a*&hole showing off in hopes of more attention and or sex?
If women expect so much for a date maybe they should practice equalty and plan the date themselves.
Yes, yes, I know this comes from a long history of men being lazy, not putting in genuine effort, etc etc But, at some point shouldn't we not soley define the present by the past?
Maybe I'm completely and utterly mistaken. And I accept I could be. Can anyone else do the same?
I forgot to mention I'm neurodivergent, so a first date with nothing to look at other than staring at one person doesn't work for me. I have difficulty maintaining eye contact, and if my eyes wander it could look like bordom or disinterest.
Listen if a man asks you out on a date here are my rules. #1: You choose the location unless its a concert or event
#2: He pays because he asked you out. Or you pay if you asked him.
#3: Do not be afraid to get up and leave with confidence.
#4: Always have an exit plan.
#5: Tell your friends where you are and have someone you trust pick you up or drive yourself.
#6: Low effort now is low effort later He won't change.
#7: He will treat you the way you let him.
#8: Know your worth. Keep your standards high. Walking aimlessly is not a date.
#9: Let your self be open to new experiences not disrespect.
#10: Have your own money. A lot of men like to play games. Pat for your own stuff. He forgets his wallet its a him problem. He wont pay you back.
Be safe out there.
Back in the day you would meet men and women at social events, in social circles, be introduced by people who know you and know that person and think that you’d be compatible. There was not pressure to spend a lot of Money just to meet for the first time and talk. That generally came after it was established that you were feeling each other.
Ok why is dude wearing a blue hair bonnet???
The problem is that they checking you out like an object despite the fact that you are in danger ⛔️!
Lmao, its somehow more disrespectful than expecting me to split the bill. At least I got a meal, and can block him. A walk is diabolical.
The best first date I've ever been on was a picnic date in a busy park on a Sunday afternoon. The worst dates I've been on were expensive restaurant dates where one guy grabbed me by the face trying to kiss me and the other one tried to stop me from walking away when I turned down his offer of going to a more comfortable place. Both looked good on paper with stable careers and money but they turned out to be quite predatory and entitled. So with that in mind I'm sticking to a coffee date, as a first date, taking place during the day. No expensive dinners for me.
The shame he had on his face when I told him "it wasn't a date" on our ice cream walk date was theeee best
I completely get the argument here and have my own rules for filtering out low-effort men. For walking and coffee dates however, I have a counter-offer which has worked for me for FIRST dates because it serves my own objective and convenience when meeting a man for the first time under certain conditions (mainly being it causes me no inconvenience):
1) I'll go on a walk if you buy me an ice cream, a boba, or a coffee. Saying this when accepting is a great test to see how they act about spending money on you as well as learn something about his tastes, his physical fitness, and how he dresses.
2) The place will be public, conveniently located to me, someplace I'd want to go anyway, and during daytime hours.
3) It will be at a time and day that is convenient to me.
4) I'm not getting dressed up. Like at all. I'll wear whatever I'd be wearing if I were just going to the location by myself.
5) This is the lowest-effort, low-inconvenience way for me to meet a man the first time and decide whether I want to see him again. After this first meeting, I sit back and watch what effort he puts in from there. No more walking/coffee dates. If he doesn't come correct from the 2nd time on, I keep it rolling.
"I want to make sure she's not just going to use me for a free meal"... Dude, I want to make sure I'm not getting together with a fellow who can't make plans, thinks only about how I can benefit him, and thinks that I should shout "pick me" for less than the bare minimum of effort. Your first impression informs me on what kind of man you are.
I love going for walks in the park. It relaxes me and helps me to focus. However if this is your idea of a date, let alone 1st date I am blocking you.