Why Everyone Hates Wizards

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 2 พ.ย. 2024

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  • @apple10234
    @apple10234 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2823

    “You are a wizard, Harry.”
    “So what does that mean?”
    “It means you’re a pervert.”

    • @taekinuru2
      @taekinuru2 ปีที่แล้ว

      And a humpin’ good one.

    • @KingOfElectricNinjas
      @KingOfElectricNinjas 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +29

      Well he is British

    • @FawnTheCreator
      @FawnTheCreator 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      For Ginny

    • @cesarandresbelloarnedo
      @cesarandresbelloarnedo 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +21

      "You are a pervert Harry."

    • @ArcturusEmrys
      @ArcturusEmrys 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Casual reminder that J.K. Rowling thinks wizards shit their pants

  • @Grainus
    @Grainus 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9825

    Goblins with guns are incredibly dangerous, these wizards should learn to magically conjure bullet proof armors

    • @shytendeakatamanoir9740
      @shytendeakatamanoir9740 2 ปีที่แล้ว +256

      A good old Earth Wizard is always useful during those moments.
      Well... They would be without those pesky laws about "preserving the landscape". Yeah sure, this place used to be a boring ass plain, and now it's a cool mountain. Boohoo, what a huge lost!

    • @justinfritz4817
      @justinfritz4817 2 ปีที่แล้ว +43

      Ah yes, Aramidius Vestus, one of my favorites.

    • @succo928
      @succo928 2 ปีที่แล้ว +112

      @@shytendeakatamanoir9740 i think it was because those Chinese wizards tried to combine it with necromancy and made an army of stone warriors, hopefully they got arrested before doing something with it

    • @shytendeakatamanoir9740
      @shytendeakatamanoir9740 2 ปีที่แล้ว +78

      @@succo928 They just used that incident to pass the laws, but they wanted to shut all mages for a while.
      And necromancy has bad press, but we all know many rulers take advice from ghosts.
      Now wonder magic appears boring and unnecessary when anything fun is prohibited. Soon, even polymorphism will be banned. And that is just sad, you know...

    • @no1ce688
      @no1ce688 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      or projectile-proof forcefields

  • @Bruhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
    @Bruhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. ปีที่แล้ว +6974

    I love the concept of doing “relatable” rants about completely unrealistic things as if they’re everyday occurrences and pet peeves. We need more of this kind of rant video

    • @yokokon-k8g
      @yokokon-k8g ปีที่แล้ว

      Wdym completely unrealistic, yesterday, just when I was about to go to train some dumbass wizard summoned earth golem in the middle of the railroad, people were so pissed off and that guy just left riding his golem after destroying rails, needless to say I was late to work, shitty wizard

    • @banana1729
      @banana1729 ปีที่แล้ว +38

      i agree.

    • @phi1688
      @phi1688 ปีที่แล้ว +153

      I see it as an allegory. The more and more I watch his videos, the more and more I see the criticisms and life lessons this guy is teaching. It’s like a therapist who babbles about incoherent stories but by linking every 5th word together you’ll realize he’s trying to say something

    • @fakeweeb8655
      @fakeweeb8655 ปีที่แล้ว +89

      @@phi1688 i thought it was obvious satire of other patterns of ostracization we see, and the justifications people give for them, lol

    • @phi1688
      @phi1688 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      @@fakeweeb8655 well yeah, this video is a pretty obvious example of that, I’m just commenting on the “rant video” thing in the main comment

  • @dan9738
    @dan9738 2 ปีที่แล้ว +15662

    "It's not the middle ages anymore, wizards!"
    -A literal sword-wielding knight

    • @NuclearTopSpot
      @NuclearTopSpot 2 ปีที่แล้ว +584

      Ey, it's carbon fiber reinforced.. tungsten carbide coated, laser cut long sword! High elf tech!

    • @federalcasemaker
      @federalcasemaker 2 ปีที่แล้ว +278

      @@NuclearTopSpot and the elf weaponsmith herself uses a high-tech lightweight assault rifle designed specifically for mercenaries fighting against anomalous eldritch entities.

    • @northropi2027
      @northropi2027 2 ปีที่แล้ว +143

      @@federalcasemaker and the knights themselves are Metal Gear Rising cyborgs under the armor

    • @federalcasemaker
      @federalcasemaker 2 ปีที่แล้ว +73

      @@northropi2027 and the "wizards" are just really good combat engineers

    • @lolgamez9171
      @lolgamez9171 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Ratio

  • @thepizzaman6310
    @thepizzaman6310 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4270

    I can relate. I was eating at a restaurant and this wizard dude at my table just kept going on about his spells and when I asked him for a bit of quiet so I could eat in peace, he sent me to the 12th plane of chaos. Thankfully I had a warlock friend who's patron lived there who teleported me back to the normal world.

    • @ultimaxkom8728
      @ultimaxkom8728 ปีที่แล้ว +228

      Lucky you. I was once sent to a place called Earth and it's- **shudder** l-let's let's just forget about it...

    • @Gwanza-Gwanzy
      @Gwanza-Gwanzy ปีที่แล้ว +87

      @@ultimaxkom8728 earth isn't that bad
      minus trafficking, abuse, bullying, harassment, and etc, it's a sorta good place

    • @ultimaxkom8728
      @ultimaxkom8728 ปีที่แล้ว +82

      @@Gwanza-Gwanzy You don't understand. Earth is a hell for us - literal. The planet's temperature slowly melt our bodies the second we enter its atmosphere. It's anything *but* good. It's torture.

    • @Gwanza-Gwanzy
      @Gwanza-Gwanzy ปีที่แล้ว +22

      @@ultimaxkom8728 it wasn't always like that though, was it...?

    • @ultimaxkom8728
      @ultimaxkom8728 ปีที่แล้ว +34

      @@Gwanza-Gwanzy I think it's about 350 years ago since then. In planet Perisolerian's years that is. As for now? We don't know. Our rogue planet has drifted too far away for us to check.

  • @destinationEuropa
    @destinationEuropa ปีที่แล้ว +492

    A wizard actually managed to get elected mayor of my village back in '04. He was generally popular for a while after lowering property taxes and instituting a goblin pox awareness program. But there was a big scandal when it turned out he had enthralled the girl's volleyball team to sing the Songs of the Sixth Circle and polish his orb

    • @throwtea
      @throwtea ปีที่แล้ว

      Aawh, dude, his ORB?! WHAT A SCUMBAG!

    • @ArturoPladeado
      @ArturoPladeado ปีที่แล้ว +20

      Orb? shouldn't it be orbs or was he in an accident?

    • @GodActio
      @GodActio 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +93

      @@ArturoPladeado No, literally his all-seeing orb. Turns out the bragging value of one polished by an entire girls volleyball team that sang the songs of the sixth circle is unbelievably high. Legend says that he became mayor in a grand scheme all for that one day. He's been insufferably bragging about his polished orb to any wizard he runs across, and on wizard-net.

    • @usernametaken017
      @usernametaken017 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +14

      ew that's so disgusting

    • @ViviBuchlaw
      @ViviBuchlaw 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      Wizards like this need to be permanently banished to Pandemonium smh

  • @MatthewPherigo
    @MatthewPherigo 2 ปีที่แล้ว +13326

    Video essays from alternate universes is a great idea and I support it

    • @Amparito847
      @Amparito847 2 ปีที่แล้ว +543

      What do you mean alternate universe? I see a wizard staring at me from the bathroom stall right now

    • @flidethechemist
      @flidethechemist 2 ปีที่แล้ว +324

      Perhaps you're the one living in an alternate universe? Just this morning I saw a wizard on this old and rickety broom stuck in traffic right in front of me. It looked a little ridiculous, now that I think about it.

    • @ahedgehog9297
      @ahedgehog9297 2 ปีที่แล้ว +112

      One of my friends (wizard) just sent me a message rn, what do you mean “alternate universe”?

    • @curiousauthor9827
      @curiousauthor9827 2 ปีที่แล้ว +126

      next youre gonna be saying the sky is still blue

    • @akatosh5689
      @akatosh5689 2 ปีที่แล้ว +60

      I hope I lived wherever you do, last week I ran into some wizard pondering their orbs in a public park, I had my little cousin with me, some don't know about public decency smh

  • @Eliagiulio
    @Eliagiulio 2 ปีที่แล้ว +18555

    This video feels like a very elaborate shitpost and a genius metaphor at the same time

    • @twinknecrosis
      @twinknecrosis 2 ปีที่แล้ว +355

      metaphor about what? no hate just wondering

    • @deepfriedpotato9668
      @deepfriedpotato9668 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1155

      @@twinknecrosis replace "wizards" and magic with any profession and anything they do.
      Discriminating people for the work they do exist since who knows how long?

    • @kigamezero8636
      @kigamezero8636 2 ปีที่แล้ว +301

      @@deepfriedpotato9668 sorry. I have like 1.5 brain cells left and couldn't correlate the two.

    • @Eliagiulio
      @Eliagiulio 2 ปีที่แล้ว +263

      @@twinknecrosis I dunno, it just seems like it's implying something or parodying something

    • @snowob
      @snowob 2 ปีที่แล้ว +85

      yup that's the channel

  • @adon155
    @adon155 ปีที่แล้ว +537

    the idea of a wizard looking into your future just to get petty revenge is amazing

    • @Bruhtatochip742
      @Bruhtatochip742 ปีที่แล้ว

      Here's my favorite example of that
      th-cam.com/video/M22-W77cIO0/w-d-xo.html

    • @TiroDvD
      @TiroDvD ปีที่แล้ว

      Dr. Orpheus did this in Venture Brothers. th-cam.com/video/r94szVfch7Q/w-d-xo.html

    • @AKcess_Dnied
      @AKcess_Dnied 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +11

      No, man, he didn't really look into your future. He was just making a threat.

    • @ViviBuchlaw
      @ViviBuchlaw 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      You won't think it's so amazing when it happens to you

    • @Samlolol
      @Samlolol 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I don't know if you're making a Venture Bros. reference or not

  • @AmbiguouslyAnonymous
    @AmbiguouslyAnonymous 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5165

    1:07 Actually have a funny story related to that.
    Back in Grade 4 I knew this kid that claimed he knew how to do magic. He claimed to always get perfect test scores because he could use his all-seeing orb to find out what all the answers were and insisted on always being excused from dodgeball during P.E. because his magic was so powerful that a single hit from one would send the school into another dimension.
    Of course no one really believed him at first, but one day he got mad at our English teacher Ms. Eleanor for grading his paper with a 0 and transformed her into a chicken (apparently using his orb to write an essay counted as plagiarising someone from the 7th Realm).
    Obviously it was at that point that we realized he had been telling the truth the whole time, and we quickly realized he was actually a 155 year old wizard who had incorrectly brewed a youth potion that now caused him to have to relive childhood. A whole bunch of us started asking him to use his magic to make us cool things (I asked for a Dairy Queen gift card) and overall we had a lot of fun messing around with his magic that day.
    Unfortunately during all of the commotion, all of us had failed to realize that the lunchlady had mistaken Ms. Eleanor as the meat to be used in the chicken sandwiches for lunch that day. I had the soup so I didn't get to try one, but one of my friends told me she tasted pretty good. The wizard got expelled the next day because I guess Ms. Eleanor's family got mad at him or something and complained. None of us ever saw him again after that, but I still think about that day from time to time whenever I eat at a Dairy Queen now.

    • @AlphaDidThings
      @AlphaDidThings 2 ปีที่แล้ว +511

      I'm sorry but...what the fuck

    • @nervousyoungman6764
      @nervousyoungman6764 2 ปีที่แล้ว +551

      Yeah, there's this creep in my chemistry class who did something similar. We reported her to the office for turning one of my classmates into a newt, but we didn't have any proof so she got off scott free. I just don't feel comfortable having a wizard in my class. Who knows how old she is? Like for all we know she could be like 120 years old or something.
      One time I saw her looking into her all seeing orb or something and I couldn't see what she was looking at, but it couldn't have been good. I'm sick of all these creeps with magic powers, why can't they give it to someone that's actually pretty, like me, and not some creep like her. Wizards are all the same.

    • @TLAO777
      @TLAO777 2 ปีที่แล้ว +122

      man I really didn't expect that twist

    • @thegreatscribbles960
      @thegreatscribbles960 2 ปีที่แล้ว +100

      @@nervousyoungman6764 hey think it about it like this the 100 year old loli is the new craze these days

    • @gagthys2178
      @gagthys2178 2 ปีที่แล้ว +58

      they had us in the first half not gonna lie

  • @captainmeadows6307
    @captainmeadows6307 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2705

    I laughed so hard at the cat part that everyone in my office now knows I'm not actually doing my job

    • @logandunlap9156
      @logandunlap9156 2 ปีที่แล้ว +35

      get fired

    • @dinamosflams
      @dinamosflams 2 ปีที่แล้ว +55

      Show this video to your boss

    • @Moth-man
      @Moth-man 2 ปีที่แล้ว +37

      He’ll forgive you

    • @joshriley2936
      @joshriley2936 2 ปีที่แล้ว +30

      Not doing your job, kind of like a WIZARD!

    • @spiralhalo
      @spiralhalo 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      You'll probably be forgiven because everyone hates wizards

  • @MiotaLee
    @MiotaLee ปีที่แล้ว +991

    Not even mentioning that we had to get rid of paper money because of wizards who kept using prestidigitation to trick you into thinking that the piece of paper he gave you was actually a 20$ bill

    • @theloweffortchannel7211
      @theloweffortchannel7211 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Based wizards inconveniencing the (((Federal Reserve)))

    • @drizzmatec
      @drizzmatec ปีที่แล้ว +134

      Look just because you dumped Intelligence, and can't pass the Investigation check needed to identify an illusion as a result, doesn't mean you can blame wizards.

    • @UncIe-Ben
      @UncIe-Ben ปีที่แล้ว +55

      @@drizzmatec Exactly! I was looking all over the realms for somebody who actually understands and researches a topic before they decide to post their opinion about our magic.

    • @MiotaLee
      @MiotaLee ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Relax, it's a joke.

    • @valletas
      @valletas ปีที่แล้ว +35

      @@MiotaLee the only joke is our economy especially when we compare it the the goblin who not only are thriving but their GDP are starting to match our own
      They are already the largest military force in the planet now they are also getting the best equipament
      I cant entirely blame on wizards tho its also the faulty of the millions of warriors and "adventurers" who waste our precious resources into swords and armors that are completely innefective against the guns goblins are using only for their bodies to be looted by goblins and used to only make more guns and ammo

  • @Nobody-ed9bv
    @Nobody-ed9bv 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1633

    My wizard dad used to come home drunk every night and turn me into a frog, and then I had to wait for an hour of him arguing with my mom in the kitchen until she finally managed to convince him to turn me back to normal. Eventually it got so bad my mom had to hide me around the house so he wouldn't find me and turn me into a frog again.
    I will never forgive wizards for this.

    • @creditsunknown7974
      @creditsunknown7974 2 ปีที่แล้ว +51

      Ngl turning into a frog sounds dope.

    • @matthewbadger8685
      @matthewbadger8685 ปีที่แล้ว +182

      @@creditsunknown7974 That might be the case, but a child cannot give informed consent to be turned into a frog

    • @yf-n7710
      @yf-n7710 ปีที่แล้ว +61

      @@matthewbadger8685 Nah, they can give informed consent. The issue is they can't communicate when they want to turn *back* , since frogs can't speak. And anyway, even though they *can* give consent, it doesn't sound like OP did.

    • @entity107
      @entity107 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@matthewbadger8685 but the parents can

    • @doxscund8821
      @doxscund8821 ปีที่แล้ว +41

      "You cannot consent to becoming a pizza"
      -Ssethzeentach

  • @0BucketMask0
    @0BucketMask0 2 ปีที่แล้ว +892

    This definitely was originally going to just be a "pondering orb" meme that ended up becoming an entire animated wizard themed mockulist.

  • @dontspeaktoelectrohead1491
    @dontspeaktoelectrohead1491 ปีที่แล้ว +252

    I saw a wizard at a grocery store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet one in person but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.
    He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”
    I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying.
    The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.
    When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.

    • @zaloskog
      @zaloskog ปีที่แล้ว +27

      how rude, as a wizard myself I would never insult my honor like that

    • @VeeZzz123
      @VeeZzz123 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      @@zaloskog I get you. They are the loud minority, and all wizards suffer prejudice because of them :/

    • @simeonellinger2064
      @simeonellinger2064 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Haven't heard this one in a minute

  • @GingerPale
    @GingerPale 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2502

    wizards are the worst kind of people. Someone had to say it

    • @FerretyZebra
      @FerretyZebra 2 ปีที่แล้ว +80

      I am really disapointed, i loved your content but you are steryotiping the minority that is wizards.

    • @micahneo8985
      @micahneo8985 2 ปีที่แล้ว +31

      Wizards who have bot orbs are disliking this comment right now

    • @gopgoomy1834
      @gopgoomy1834 ปีที่แล้ว +37

      As a wizard myself, I am deeply saddened that another one of my favorite TH-camrs generalized and insulted my people.

    • @qualivia
      @qualivia ปีที่แล้ว +15

      Let me guess, Your a warrior.

    • @Deceitful_Jester
      @Deceitful_Jester ปีที่แล้ว +6

      My fiance is a wizard, and I love him very dearly! You just have to find the ones that are also bisexual tieflings, *those* sorts of wizards are delightful people!

  • @Spoonsies_
    @Spoonsies_ 2 ปีที่แล้ว +540

    You never see Wizards who’s in a relationship. You wonder, why?
    It’s because they’re always pondering their damn orbs, that’s why.

    • @FerretyZebra
      @FerretyZebra 2 ปีที่แล้ว +47

      Who needs relationships when they can Ponder the orb

    • @Drekromancer
      @Drekromancer 2 ปีที่แล้ว +64

      @@FerretyZebra any wizard born after 1993 can't fight... all they know is necromancy, hide, charge they crystals, be antisocial, ponder they orb and lie

    • @zachatyshafer9836
      @zachatyshafer9836 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      nah its cause they dont know how a shower works

    • @RhobarEisenblut
      @RhobarEisenblut ปีที่แล้ว +1

      No because it leads to creative magic which means the apocalypse for a world.

    • @G0RSHK0V
      @G0RSHK0V ปีที่แล้ว

      No, that's because if they will reproduce, the sourcerer can be born, the fabric of reality is to weak for sourcery. Also, sourcerer is likely to start a new magic war, and magic wars are very destructive, and cause magic-active pollution

  • @danielstatler954
    @danielstatler954 ปีที่แล้ว +119

    As a wizard myself, i am quite offended. I would never use invisibility to steal, only for sneaking up on people and putting a crossbow bolt in their head from point blank range. For stealing, shape shifting is a much better option as someone who noone knows takes the blame instead and there is no way to prove it was the wizard shape shifting. God I love this country

    • @zaloskog
      @zaloskog ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Oh dude I agree 100%, also who said we can't use guns, I have a spell that gives my whatever gun I desire

    • @mailcs06
      @mailcs06 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      As a fellow wizard I implore you to stop stealing and instead learn fabricate and use it to make things you can sell for large amounts of profit.

    • @Noblesse_Sapphire
      @Noblesse_Sapphire 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      ​@@mailcs06oh! Fabricate is such a useful spell, but the thing is it's pretty difficult to master it and it took so much mana & stamina :"D

    • @gabrielsfilms2086
      @gabrielsfilms2086 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      I dont get why you dont just learn fabricate, it's probably not that hard to learn? hold on... okay yah you just gotta have something of equal mass of whatever your trying to make plus a lot of mana

    • @ladvargleinad7566
      @ladvargleinad7566 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      You DO realize that crossbow bolts needs airtime to optimize their impact force, right?

  • @Eiroth
    @Eiroth 2 ปีที่แล้ว +601

    I've been called a hat nonce, a staff nonce, and I've just about had it. This video perpetuates outdated stereotypes about wizards, and I won't stand for it!

    • @creditsunknown7974
      @creditsunknown7974 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Everyone knows Hat nonce is a compliment- Also you still use staffs???? Either get a wand, book, or use your hands like everyone else!
      Everyone should know that staffs, specially old and homemade, keep and trap magoc tocins on them which causes diseases!

    • @Em3.14re
      @Em3.14re 2 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Yeah, obviously you won’t stand for it- it’s not like you CAN stand, at least not without a walker. Magic user? More like magic loser

    • @EvilMaster4002
      @EvilMaster4002 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @@creditsunknown7974 As a part of the Melee Wizards staffs are the ultimate weapons, they can be used a Bo staff and after spending 50 percent of your time working out and 50 percent of time learning spells after you casted a non aging spell on yourself you will become a TRUE offensive wizard which can defeat even the strongest raid bosses along with crusaders like a true wizard

    • @creditsunknown7974
      @creditsunknown7974 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@EvilMaster4002 THE RAID BOSSES ARENT THE ONLY THING THAT YOU SHOULD BE QORRYING ABOUT- STAFFS KEEP MAGIC TOXINS ON THEM YOU GONNA GET CANCER.

    • @EvilMaster4002
      @EvilMaster4002 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@creditsunknown7974 fool im a melee wizard i use the most potent strength magic no toxin will penetrate my supreme body ive trained in fact it will just build my tolerance

  • @justsomejerseydevilwithint4606
    @justsomejerseydevilwithint4606 2 ปีที่แล้ว +430

    If the wizard's third spell is "Charm", they aren't trying to be a wizard, they're trying to be a stereotypical bard.

    • @yuvalgabay1023
      @yuvalgabay1023 2 ปีที่แล้ว +33

      Remember that charm has been outlawd because it's basically roopees

    • @justsomejerseydevilwithint4606
      @justsomejerseydevilwithint4606 2 ปีที่แล้ว +68

      @@yuvalgabay1023 Roofee*, but It's actually even more immoral. By manipulating how a person thinks of the caster, wizards can make you think basically anything short of direct harm. I had a guy try to convince me to do jury duty for him. I only know that's what He was trying to do because he told me after he caught his breath from the 12 guage sandbag round that I sent nearly through his ribs within 2 seconds of me hearing a magic word. God bless Texas, don't leave the house without personal a defense weapon if you've seen a wizard in the past 24 hours.

    • @Nesto_
      @Nesto_ ปีที่แล้ว +25

      Charms aren’t even the scariest thing they can do, it’s just common due to accessibility. My grandpa told the story of how a wizard altered his memory and made him think he was a bang robber, all to create a distraction so the wizard could actually rob a bank.

    • @mailcs06
      @mailcs06 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      I'm a wizard but I never use mental manipulation spells because they're immoral and IMO cowardly.

    • @Merrsharr
      @Merrsharr 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      I'm not sure if I should be more offended for my wizard or my bard, neither of which actually know the Charm spell

  • @dimensionalchaos8422
    @dimensionalchaos8422 ปีที่แล้ว +84

    I know a guy called the Iron Wizard. Hates the Fae, wears cold iron armor and throws salt everywhere.
    Also he has alot of sharp things. i dont think they count as swords but he hunts any fae or fairy creature.
    Apparently he was tricked as a kid and his parents were resurected as zombies.

    • @gamerplays5131
      @gamerplays5131 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      Everyone hates the fae, including the fae

  • @kekero540
    @kekero540 2 ปีที่แล้ว +395

    I hate it when the local wizard makes a new chimera that quickly becomes an invasive species in the local area.
    Like “ok yeah the manticore is cool and all but can my children please play outside without being picked up by a 300lb lion with wing please?”

    • @jamaljenkins3383
      @jamaljenkins3383 ปีที่แล้ว +28

      Not all manticores are bad it’s the owner that makes them bad not the manticore

    • @nobodynowhere000
      @nobodynowhere000 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      @@jamaljenkins3383 Yeah, totally. So many people abandon manticores after they grow up because they get so big. The stray manticore population has skyrocketed in my city! If you’re going to get a pet, make sure you’re able to take care of it properly ffs

  • @frog985-2
    @frog985-2 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2111

    these videos never fail to ruthlessly murder me

    • @xuesse4662
      @xuesse4662 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      so true

    • @Oscar4u69
      @Oscar4u69 2 ปีที่แล้ว +47

      unlike a wizard, who can't do anything

    • @Munkaa
      @Munkaa 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Yep .

    • @carnetplank6259
      @carnetplank6259 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      My condolences 🙁

    • @pbwithj534
      @pbwithj534 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      so, yours does the thing where 14 wild hogs come through you speakers and ruthlessly beat you up and then all traces of them dissapear, or is that just me? and all you have to show for it is a small bit of broken tusk in youre left upper forearm?

  • @nickster5207
    @nickster5207 ปีที่แล้ว +215

    Also the fact that every wizard has *zero* self control. When presented with the chance to cast a spell that can destroy the world with the small chance of granting them a longer beard *THEY WILL DO IT*

    • @mailcs06
      @mailcs06 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Man that's a bit of an overgeneralization :(
      I don't even want a beard

    • @ArturoPladeado
      @ArturoPladeado ปีที่แล้ว +11

      *BUT LONGER BEARD!*

    • @Noblesse_Sapphire
      @Noblesse_Sapphire 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Man, having a beard feels like having a second hair, all of the products to make it shiny or healthy are expensive af, if you didn't do it, it will strangle you and whispering nightmares when you sleep, that's why I shaved mine :"D

    • @gabrielsfilms2086
      @gabrielsfilms2086 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I wouldn't, mainly because I don't want a beard but like, I still wouldnt

  • @baacloud
    @baacloud 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2733

    Hey, great video and everything, but this topic can get a bit extreme with the "all wizards are bad," personally. I got called a Magic Sympathizer on the street yesterday for simply saying that the worldwide dark rituals might not be _that_ bad on the ecological footprint. You just cannot have normal discussions nowadays

    • @Abananapie
      @Abananapie 2 ปีที่แล้ว +225

      Worldwide dark rituals are the cause of 70% of all carbon emissions keep denying the facts Magic sympathiser 🙄

    • @succo928
      @succo928 2 ปีที่แล้ว +156

      They literally summon fire out of nothing of course THEY are the cause of the global warming

    • @flidethechemist
      @flidethechemist 2 ปีที่แล้ว +52

      @@succo928 I personally think that both no - maj people and magic - wielders caused global warming.

    • @figo3554
      @figo3554 2 ปีที่แล้ว +100

      Idk man, I don't see petroleum turning the sky RED

    • @ZelphTheWebmancer
      @ZelphTheWebmancer 2 ปีที่แล้ว +151

      @@Abananapie This again. Correlation is not causation. Just because you put to graphs on top of each other doesn't mean the dark rituals are the ones causing 70% of the carbon emissions. Seriously, is 2021, almost 2022, and people are still saying this misinformed stuff.

  • @shazani18
    @shazani18 2 ปีที่แล้ว +567

    I'm watching this thinking about the only wizard I've ever known well and it's hilarious

    • @defensivekobra3873
      @defensivekobra3873 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Who?

    • @shazani18
      @shazani18 2 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      @@defensivekobra3873 Anders from Drangon Age 2

  • @Qreamey
    @Qreamey ปีที่แล้ว +62

    When the Shadow Wizard Money Gang conquers the mortal realm you will be the first to be sacrificed.

  • @enthurian100
    @enthurian100 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2337

    Alright Matt, I'm going to have to do a thorough break down of this video.
    Before I even talk about your "Top 5 Reasons Why All Wizards Are Terrible", I want to talk about the the first three things you say about wizards. First you say they're weak (physically), Anti-social, and that they think riddles are funny. Firstly, it is a common misconception that wizards are weak, many wizards maintain the physical wellness of your average person, this isn't to say they're fit, but they about as fit as anyone else. Second, wizards are not anymore anti-social that your average person either, some are often more social due to the more diplomatic portion of their jobs (though this varies from field to field). Third, not all wizards laugh at riddles, it's just when they do that people make a big deal about it (and those that due are in the far minority). Alright, now time to address your "Top 5 Reasons Why All Wizards Are Terrible."
    Your number 5 reason was stated as "All Wizards Are Perverts", though you seem to extend this into your hatred for all-seeing orbs. First off I want to say 2 things, 1: Some wizards are perverts, but so are a lot for normal people, being a wizard doesn't automatically make you a pervert as much as anyone else, 2: Just because someone was using an all-seeing orb in the bathroom doesn't mean they were spying on someone, and if they were why would they do it in the bathroom when they could do it anywhere. As for the rest of your issues with all-seeing orbs, that's more down to particular wizards being assholes, which is to be expected with any person.
    Your number 4 reason was stated as "It Takes Your Entire Life To Be Good At Magic". This is completely untrue, becoming a wizards takes no longer than any other higher education job. The only reason this became a stereotype in the first place was due to extremely powerful famous wizards, and the fact that education in that past was very bad and so it would take a lot longer to become skilled in magic. You also go on to comment about the way wizards look, which is mostly false as well, sure some wizards look this way, if they're homeless, but most professional wizards are just as well dressed as anyone else.
    Your number 3 reason was stated as "Magic Is A Waste Of Everyone's Time". This point honestly baffles me. You first comment on how inept they are in combat (obviously neglecting to mention battle-mages, but this is about wizards, so I won't get into that.). Only an unskilled untrained wizards is going to fumble over their decisions, and staying in the back is honestly the best place for them, as they're most likely to act as a support. Now you try to tell me that magic shields are worthless against guns, which is completely false, in fact, blocking against projectiles is one of the easier things for magic to do. However, this goes without mentioning any of the other supporting magic a wizard can use, such a swifting spells, and buff/debuff spells. Even then however, this still doesn't mention that they can throw fireballs and shoot lightning (if they're trained at least).
    Your number 2 reason was stated as "Technology Beats Magic Every Time." This reason is honestly the most justifiable. Modern technology has come a long to match magics power. This does have some key problems though. You mention portals, which are of course a bit dangerous, they are however, not the only way to travel with magic, and whilst dangerous to living things they have little danger to materials, making it greats for transferring supplies and cargo. Magic can also do anything technology can but a little better, such as instant communication (might be useful when trying to talk to someone on mars or further with no lightspeed time delay), weather manipulation, and they can even make better computers (though there hasn't been as much development in that field until normal computers were invented).
    Your number 1, and last, reason was stated as "The World Is Ending". First thing I'd like to say is, there is nothing inherently wrong with necromancy, but not for the same reasons as stated by you. Before I states my reason though, I'd like to clear something up: Necromancy is magic that allows it's users to manipulate life force. This means you can make the undead and use blood sacrifice to power magic, which is often not allowed among professional wizards, but these wizards still use necromancy, how though? Simple, necromancy can also heal wounds and even bring people back to life (with their full cognitive ability), this often falls under the radar due to holy magics, but they are still just as much a part of necromancy as creating undead. This misconception about necromancy has honestly become so prevalent that it's a nuisance, when casting magic and people start claiming your a cleric cause you healed someone's scraped knee. Also, the red sky was sorcerer, stop blaming their wild-magic missteps on us. The rituals are also not supported by any wizarding groups (that are legal).
    Honestly Matt, this video really hurt from you, I've watched you for a while now, and to see you make such a blatant promotion of fighters while knocking down wizards (who already get a bad rap as it is) is sad. I hope your new sponsors are nice to you, but The Wizards Guild gives it's final regards. -Enthurian, Spokesperson on the behalf of The Wizards Guild.

    • @AWESOMO5
      @AWESOMO5 2 ปีที่แล้ว +89

      Nigga i aint reading all that shit

    • @enthurian100
      @enthurian100 2 ปีที่แล้ว +374

      @@AWESOMO5 Okay. Then why'd you comment?

    • @cheesecake001
      @cheesecake001 2 ปีที่แล้ว +434

      Why isn't this the top comment instead of all those jokes and people spreading misinformation?

    • @enthurian100
      @enthurian100 2 ปีที่แล้ว +338

      @@cheesecake001 Some people just don't want to face the truth.

    • @dopaminecloud
      @dopaminecloud 2 ปีที่แล้ว +276

      thanks for the speaking out for the little magic man
      i've faced a lot of discrimination because of a few insane necromancers yelling about taking over the world

  • @huhneat1076
    @huhneat1076 2 ปีที่แล้ว +195

    I love how all of your videos feel like a commentary on commentary itself

  • @poopa_stinka
    @poopa_stinka ปีที่แล้ว +171

    Wizards being real and just obnoxious whimsical weirdos who’s magic is just annoying is my favorite bit

    • @Mrfallouthero
      @Mrfallouthero ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Yeah, wow dude.. I've always wanted to be friends with a flashlight

  • @TuckyBlue
    @TuckyBlue 2 ปีที่แล้ว +496

    What are your thoughts on sorcerers? They have the benefit of being born with innate magical prowess, so that deals with age, and that frees them up to train other skills.

    • @creditsunknown7974
      @creditsunknown7974 2 ปีที่แล้ว +111

      They are too egostetical, like "Hey check me out im young, hot and sexy!" LIKE SHUT UP VEROSLIKAJON WE ARE IN A GODDAM CIRCLE OF HELL THIS IS NOT THE TIME.

    • @jetex1911
      @jetex1911 2 ปีที่แล้ว +99

      They're literally the next step up from being born rich, and the ones I've seen always seem to flaunt it. "Oh look at me my father was a dragon I'm so awesome" Yeah sure cool dude, I had to *work* for my knight's training.

    • @iamtrash288
      @iamtrash288 2 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Eh, you really sympathise with those trust-fund (you know, the funds where you score your credit trust on Demon deals) babies?

    • @FaeriePrince
      @FaeriePrince 2 ปีที่แล้ว +34

      @@jetex1911 Sorcerers may be born with magic power, but they still have to train their magic to become more powerful, especially sorcerers from a lesser magic lineage like myself. I have worked hard to get my fifteen levels in sorcery, not to mention my twelve levels in wizardry, and my seven clerical levels.

    • @andrewgreeb916
      @andrewgreeb916 2 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      The issue is those wankers seem to waste time with feelings and self exploration and somehow take just as long to achieve skill at magic.
      Sure they have more magic, but their shorter spell lists are pretty clearly a drawback

  • @VladLongPlus
    @VladLongPlus 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1213

    The class jealously in this video is so thick you couldn't cut it even with a vorpal sword. Listen fighter, it is not wizard's fault that when given a choice between "hit things with metal stick" and "alter reality to your whims" you made the stupid choice and went for stick.

    • @iamtrash288
      @iamtrash288 2 ปีที่แล้ว +240

      Well, to be honest, not everybody gets to get that choice. Wizardry is expensive and the major ivory tower associations have been bribing and lobbying their way into raising the entering barriers for the new enterprising covens. Statistical research shows that every successful wizard under the age of 300 has some kind of noble pedigree and for a commoner to become a wizard... That would take a miracle nowadays. Magical autocracy just doesn't work.

    • @tallymanz6756
      @tallymanz6756 2 ปีที่แล้ว +139

      While you were arguing me and the rogues guild boys already took both your wallets.

    • @FaeriePrince
      @FaeriePrince 2 ปีที่แล้ว +61

      @@iamtrash288 I may only be a younger wizard at 3000 years old, but I agree that the quality of green-staffed wizards have really gone downhill. Those newbies are so pompous now adays. Although my perspective may not be the best since wizard is only my secondary class, with sorcery being my main, and cleric being my tertiary.

    • @fjolliff6308
      @fjolliff6308 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Oof! Bet he wants to jump through a few portals now!

    • @VladLongPlus
      @VladLongPlus 2 ปีที่แล้ว +47

      @@iamtrash288 If I could take a half million gold crown loan to pay for wizard school so can you. Besides which public wizard schools are not that bad. Clortho for example is a fine institute for those of more modest means. only 20% demon baby rate is nothing to cry about. Sure I might have to slave away for the nobility for the next 1000 years to pay off my wizard student loans but that does not mean the system is broken.

  • @adjoint_functor
    @adjoint_functor ปีที่แล้ว +142

    imagine this being the only historical record left of this century and all the future historians are losing their shit over where all the wizards went

  • @air7285
    @air7285 2 ปีที่แล้ว +443

    Oh great this is just what I needed for my “Why Wizards Are Ruining the Ecosystem” essay, thanks a lot for covering this topic

    • @calebdahlheimer1471
      @calebdahlheimer1471 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Careful Hitler, your bias is showing.

    • @FaeriePrince
      @FaeriePrince 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I have input that I'd reccomend for your counterperspective that ypu'll need to put in: wizards study long and hard to learn about their magic. This includes the impact that their magic has in the environment. Not to mention that necromancers are more akin to warlocks than the larger sum of wizards.

    • @FerretyZebra
      @FerretyZebra 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@FaeriePrince necromancy≠warlock

    • @ligma6992
      @ligma6992 ปีที่แล้ว

      ​@@FaeriePrince found the necromancy sympathizer

  • @confusioned2249
    @confusioned2249 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1924

    "So i'm going to try my best, not to be too judgmental."
    Literally the next sentence:
    "All wizards are perverts."

    • @Wonders_of_Reality
      @Wonders_of_Reality ปีที่แล้ว +52

      It’s so nice to see some honesty in this sea of hypocritical political correctness!

    • @betin731
      @betin731 ปีที่แล้ว +78

      yeah that was the joke

    • @MouseGoat
      @MouseGoat ปีที่แล้ว +7

      well as a wizards i just want to say...
      He completely right... :V why else did you think i was pondering my orb for.

    • @chavaspada
      @chavaspada ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Wizards are basically discord mods 🤮

    • @UncIe-Ben
      @UncIe-Ben ปีที่แล้ว +3

      As a local wizard I would like to say not all of us are old crusty perverts that bring the end of days upon us. Why don't you do your research before you say such outlandish things about our magic.

  • @noxeus1871
    @noxeus1871 ปีที่แล้ว +37

    >doesn't embrace the arcane
    >thinks magic is a waste of time
    >clearly isn't enthralled by the mystic majesty of thaumaturgic studies
    >doesn't even know how to cast a mere light spell even by using a glyph
    >Uses a slate of knowledge everyday only to look at sword sharpening visions but faints in the mere presence of a scrying orb
    "Yeah guys magic and wizards are useless and shouldn't be trusted. Be a meathead instead."

    • @ViviBuchlaw
      @ViviBuchlaw 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      A wizard killed my family

    • @BruhSmith-r1f
      @BruhSmith-r1f 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      ​@@ViviBuchlawMaybe you should swear a Paladin's oath about it and get some magic to cope

  • @maglev0789
    @maglev0789 2 ปีที่แล้ว +243

    This is on TierZoo levels of interesting concepts nobody has done before and I'm all for more of things like this

  • @empoleonmaster6709
    @empoleonmaster6709 2 ปีที่แล้ว +602

    As someone that plays Artificer 1/Wizards in D&D this is anti-magic propaganda and I won't stand for it! Also I'm MUCH harder to hit and have 14 con.

    • @rianantony
      @rianantony 2 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      The guy thinks my Cleric1/Wizard... abjurer with false life isn't a heavy armor master who punches bad guys directly on the face with shocking grasp ands that's just not true

    • @empoleonmaster6709
      @empoleonmaster6709 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      @@rianantony I don't need anything more than high int for all my spells though. 14 dex and 14 con + War Caster from Custom Lineage let's me focus on int and them a bunch of feats for every level while maintaining full spell slot progression because Artificer has multi-class levels involving it rounded up, not down.

    • @bigendaliver
      @bigendaliver 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      what about Magi? i'm a Magus myself, my pa was a wizard and my other pa a fighter. so... you can guess how that goes.
      i consider myself in the wizard spectrum, or at least a wizard ally. can't cast spells as well as the rest of y'all but mad respects still.
      ...just remember that we frontline brawlers will bring it to court if you hit us 'accidentally'. #fighterlivesmatter

    • @empoleonmaster6709
      @empoleonmaster6709 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @@bigendaliver Fighter lives do matter, that's why I'm an evocation wizard, that and it reduces lawsuits involving damage to personal property.

    • @thatrandomcrit5823
      @thatrandomcrit5823 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I'm jealous, I'd like to be able to play DnD too!

  • @yourconscious
    @yourconscious ปีที่แล้ว +35

    As an artificer, this is what I'm always saying. Do you know how many times I've had to had to enchant anti-magic software into a wizard's computer because they cast fireball on it in rage? I just want to go back to forging gunswords and cannonshield.

  • @Total_DuDe
    @Total_DuDe 2 ปีที่แล้ว +421

    It's been 13 years, and they still don't know that I secretly replaced their cat.
    P.S. Nice to see Mattias moving to more positive stuff. c:

    • @ThreeBeeHDb
      @ThreeBeeHDb 2 ปีที่แล้ว +26

      I hate the synergy your comment has with your pfp.

    • @longpigpie3584
      @longpigpie3584 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@ThreeBeeHDb and name

  • @natxon
    @natxon 2 ปีที่แล้ว +143

    I have wizard friends, they keep learning about things they love and that's what matters 💞
    also their skills are kinda useful sometimes if things don't go wrong

    • @slay-thoven1357
      @slay-thoven1357 2 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      don't try to hide it, you're a wizard yourself just posting about "wizard friends" to avoid critique
      that said, you're right,

    • @Jugem16
      @Jugem16 2 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      Found the magic sympathiser. 🙄

    • @glumbortango7182
      @glumbortango7182 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      "Kind of if it doesn't go wrong" is fairly damning when you're talking about magic, all things considered

    • @alternateending4841
      @alternateending4841 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Just because you have wizard friends doesn’t mean you can speak on the subject.

  • @Mordecrox
    @Mordecrox ปีที่แล้ว +33

    Ah yes I remember being fascinated with how conjure food worked, how they always summon varied cooked goods, how they magically prepare these meals?
    Then I'm told it's just teleported from someone's plate when they aren't looking.
    Cook like you were cooking for a wizard. They hate spices.

    • @nuclearwinter5748
      @nuclearwinter5748 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      so that's where my dinner went

    • @mailcs06
      @mailcs06 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Ah that's the 1st level spell Conjure Meal. The 3rd level spell Create Meal actually creates one from scratch.

  • @dr.gaming4860
    @dr.gaming4860 2 ปีที่แล้ว +94

    3:27 You see, I think this fellow here is actually a warlock, which are similar to wizards, but their powers are more derived from the Dark Gods generally. Slight difference, but still noteworthy.

    • @potatoboooi5168
      @potatoboooi5168 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Yeah! Know the difference! I can’t believe these people judging magic users when they can’t even tell us apart!

  • @matthewlyons6544
    @matthewlyons6544 ปีที่แล้ว +346

    Maybe if you didn’t shun young wizards they wouldn’t isolate themselves and instead be well adjusted for social situations.

    • @Dodanon
      @Dodanon 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +32

      EXACTLY

    • @RandomMushroom-xm5kj
      @RandomMushroom-xm5kj 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +14

      Thank you very much

    • @QSBraWQ
      @QSBraWQ 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      But they're so useless

    • @raspberryjam
      @raspberryjam 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +36

      I feel like I'm going insane with how much blind prejudice everyone has for wizards. Anytime someone even mentions seeing something in an orb everyone immediately jumps to calling them a future otherworld scribe, or otherwise "forming a subconscious bridge" as if that doesnt happen tenfold in mundane academia. Like congratulations you recognize that scrying sickness is bad actually, whoop-de-doo. Question, _why_ exactly is scrying sickness bad? "It's an unnatural perturbation of magic" what are you, Amish? Everything's a perturbation of magic, computers are about as unnatural as you can get and you don't seem too pressed about those. The issue is that it _erodes the mind._ Not that it's unnatural, not that it changes you, it's that it damages your self and leads you to harm others. Magic itself doesn't even harm you, it's the sole trust in the arcane that opens you up to that kind of stuff. People just need to open up trust for fledgling wizards, focus on the intersectionality of artifice and mental heath, and stop blaming wizards for things that can be addressed with basic fucking decency

    • @QSBraWQ
      @QSBraWQ 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@raspberryjam no, computers are very natural actually, they follow every law of physics. Also if we gonna trust wizzards, not only will it give them opportunity to rule the world, but it will make wizzards morel mainstream, and they are awful. You don't want them to be main hoard of people who run society.

  • @FestusOmega
    @FestusOmega ปีที่แล้ว +16

    Physicians will see you cast a spell of healing and say, "He hath not an MD."

  • @Blue-fg8vt
    @Blue-fg8vt 2 ปีที่แล้ว +140

    Man the wizard hate is high in this one. Ingoreing that spells improve each generation thus barriers are still effective when cast by a compitant wizard, and one can heal wounds with healing spells or brew potions too cure illness or help change ones body in ways surgery can't, they can streagthen their ally's or summon elementals. Magic is such a broad thing that most have too pick a certain catagory too be good, like doctors or teachers or any other catagory. I reccomend you take more note of the younger looking wizards, as many are much older than they apper, but have managed too reduce their age useing magic. It takes both an enchanter and a smith too make a sheild that can block both swords and magic effectively.

    • @dubiousinformation1756
      @dubiousinformation1756 2 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      Just gonna add in that wizards don't in fact get healing spells.
      Sorcerer's can get healing spells (depending on the version of sorcerer).
      Warlocks can also gain access to healing spells (depending on the pact).
      Druids and clerics always have access to healing spells if they want them.
      But not wizards.
      And that's because wizards can do anything except be useful.
      Unlike Chad clerics.

    • @RatOfTheWoods
      @RatOfTheWoods 2 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      @@dubiousinformation1756 bold words for someone in fireball range (I am in your walls)

    • @tonyhakston536
      @tonyhakston536 2 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      @@dubiousinformation1756 There once was a cleric as smug as can be
      He thought himself Chadly with utility
      But he had no powers to call as his own
      All of them borrowed from heaven’s high throne
      Not bad in itself, Paladins can attest
      But fighting with biting smites they do it best
      Still better than them are the Casters of Heart~
      Nothing else holds a candle to a Bard!

    • @christiankapoian3845
      @christiankapoian3845 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@dubiousinformation1756 wizards get wither and bloom which allows you to deal damage while also healing yourself or any of your allies

  • @paro6735
    @paro6735 2 ปีที่แล้ว +31

    apologize to wizards right now my grandpa is a wizard and hes cursing you

  • @Pybrosherk
    @Pybrosherk ปีที่แล้ว +27

    I knew this kid at school who always said he was a wizard, and for some reason no one else asked for proof. So one day he got in a fight with an actual wizard kid. The kid knew a few spells but they were all pretty useless except for the electric one (he used it to hijack vending machines). Anyways, the kid who said he was a wizard tried to punch the wizard kid, but he electrocuted him. The next day, he was suspended.

  • @WhimsicalCreature457
    @WhimsicalCreature457 2 ปีที่แล้ว +59

    “It takes your entire life to be remotely good at magic”
    Anime and JRPGs: Allow us to introduce ourselves

    • @Nesto_
      @Nesto_ ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Those characters may look like children but most of them have been around since BCE.

  • @terrafletcher1930
    @terrafletcher1930 2 ปีที่แล้ว +197

    It just felt so honest until he started promoting the fighters guild even though I didn't agree or have any idea how or why the other issues would ever be thought of! I guess I'm susceptible to propaganda 😕

    • @dogsdestroytheworld
      @dogsdestroytheworld 2 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      YOU ARE NOT IMMUNE TO PROPAGANDA.

    • @jtyranus
      @jtyranus 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      @@dogsdestroytheworld But I am wearing my periapt of proof against propaganda. . . that I bought from a wizard.

  • @greedynap
    @greedynap ปีที่แล้ว +15

    My parents wanted me to have a wizard tutor and paid him so much gold to teach me the arcane arts but he did nothing except give me an orb to "watch how it's done"

  • @Ani
    @Ani 2 ปีที่แล้ว +228

    So fuckin true man. Magicians, as well. Hate 'em. Cannot imagine what it takes for someone to become one of those.

    • @creditsunknown7974
      @creditsunknown7974 2 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      DO NOT INSULT MAGICIANS ID YOU DONT WANT TO GET *pigeoned*

    • @creditsunknown7974
      @creditsunknown7974 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @Soldier [TF2] Hey atleast you werent *_pigeoned_*

    • @junconglin
      @junconglin 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @Soldier [TF2] you ate all his die and come back stronger pills

    • @andrewgreeb916
      @andrewgreeb916 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Magicians are like wizards, but they get the short end of the stick for using illusions

    • @cockroachteeth
      @cockroachteeth 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Okay I get what you're saying but magicians are no where near as bad as wizards. I've never met a good wizard I have met like 1 cool magician

  • @uberhenrik3128
    @uberhenrik3128 2 ปีที่แล้ว +109

    Wow, this video made me felt like this guy is really living in a dimension where wizards are really useless
    Thankfully, where I live wizards are functional members of society!

    • @valletas
      @valletas ปีที่แล้ว +7

      The one i live wizards are incels...

    • @pedrohenriquedecarvalhogon1453
      @pedrohenriquedecarvalhogon1453 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      In here wizards just turn everything in sheeps for some reason

    • @featherlikescartoons5098
      @featherlikescartoons5098 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Where I live we don't have Wizards, but we do have Time-travelers infestations, which is arguably worse
      a week ago I was just drinking my goddamn coffee when a bunch of time tourists popped outside my window and took pictures of me. The tour guide was saying something like, "witness the lifestyle of our 21st century ancestors" or some crap. And they keep ajusting the course of history once ever three hours

  • @averagecringefan2964
    @averagecringefan2964 ปีที่แล้ว +102

    As a wizard I can confirm that we are creepy douches with low moral standards but that doesn’t mean all of us are out of shape and magical barriers normally stop bullets anyway + you don’t see fighters just turn into dragons on their own now do you?

    • @gustavovargas8716
      @gustavovargas8716 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      My friend's father is a dragon, and he sometimes drops the sword and go 1v1 in dragon form
      Not gonna lie dragon form is dope...

    • @Bruhtatochip742
      @Bruhtatochip742 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Yeah that'll show those melee users 🤓

  • @screamingmurkrow1720
    @screamingmurkrow1720 2 ปีที่แล้ว +278

    I feel like this is a metaphor for people stereotyping other’s kind of people and calling them all bad. Or maybe I’m looking way into this

    • @calebhessing7593
      @calebhessing7593 2 ปีที่แล้ว +64

      Nah man you're looking way into this, it's just about why all wizards suck

    • @rikospostmodernlife
      @rikospostmodernlife 2 ปีที่แล้ว +43

      No, you're right, and this dude is also overgeneralizing, mixing up wizards and warlocks smh

    • @ratswithshivs
      @ratswithshivs 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      SMH our kids are being raised on this propaganda?

    • @NeostormXLMAX
      @NeostormXLMAX 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@ratswithshivs Basicly a massage about youtube propaganda

    • @eckspearaviit3129
      @eckspearaviit3129 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Feels more like a cryptobro joke with the portal segment

  • @realkingofantarctica
    @realkingofantarctica 2 ปีที่แล้ว +239

    If I could pick between having magic and having a gun, I would pick the gun so I could smelt it down and have a knife instead.

    • @henryfleischer404
      @henryfleischer404 2 ปีที่แล้ว +29

      But with magic you can cut a steak, open a box, or knock somebody out. Can you do that with a knife?

    • @SrangePerson_
      @SrangePerson_ 2 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      @@henryfleischer404 Yes

    • @TheKeyboardCowboy
      @TheKeyboardCowboy 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Why melt it into a knife, when you could have a hammer instead?

    • @personperson8712
      @personperson8712 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@TheKeyboardCowboy why choose a gun when you can use forbidden deadly spells?

    • @Ani-yt4nf
      @Ani-yt4nf 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Nonononono, RAW STEEL is what you want to get, not a knife. Gotta have those metals for minerals to consume. Yummy

  • @superiorozzy184
    @superiorozzy184 ปีที่แล้ว +38

    I had a problem with a wizard before. I said a joke to a wizard that went like this: "Hail, summoner. Conjure me up a warm bed, would you?" And they took such great offense to it that they almost put a ten thousand-year-long curse upon me and my bloodline but then the wizard police got involved and things escalated

  • @OtherMomo
    @OtherMomo 2 ปีที่แล้ว +64

    Counterpoint: magehand. I believe I can learn enough wizardry to aquire this spell, and then go on to do other things, but with a magical third hand with a range further than my armspan and a strength at least slightly more so than my own physical amount.

    • @eainjones9509
      @eainjones9509 2 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      >mage hand
      >slightly more than my own physical [strength]
      Maybe you should just go full wizard and get telekinesis. Better yet go to a gym and befriend a Barbarian or Paladin they'll help.

    • @OtherMomo
      @OtherMomo 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@eainjones9509 maybe even considering the use.of magehand is too much of a slippery slope

    • @andrewgreeb916
      @andrewgreeb916 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Oh sure, cause you wanted to remind the world about phantom groping.
      Great spell, great for lazily grabbing stuff you can't reach or don't want to touch, but you get a real stink eye casting that in public

    • @fattytan1377
      @fattytan1377 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@andrewgreeb916 "yo can you get that can for me?"
      "Thanks"

    • @usernametaken017
      @usernametaken017 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Lazy wizards don't even want to use THEIR OWN HANDS anymore

  • @ChloroDude
    @ChloroDude 2 ปีที่แล้ว +82

    One time, a wizard came by and started ripping off my doorframe, then stole my wife's wedding ring and told me he was "making a staff", and he also had a black cat following him that started growing rapidly and had teeth covered in blood.

    • @andrewgreeb916
      @andrewgreeb916 2 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      This is why we don't let druids in

    • @FerretyZebra
      @FerretyZebra 2 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      That isn't a Wizard thats a druid

  • @BugDrawer
    @BugDrawer ปีที่แล้ว +14

    Thank god someone finally addressed this. I once stepped on some old guy's robe and the guy turned around and turned me purple.

  • @ezurth
    @ezurth 2 ปีที่แล้ว +93

    hear me out hear me out, a wizard that has a love for magic and repairing cars and infrastructure. that's the mechanic i would want

    • @saqvobase4301
      @saqvobase4301 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Magical mechanic would be cool

    • @angieulaka
      @angieulaka 2 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      oh yeah! it might take a little longer to get repairs done, and it is slightly disconcerting how my truck slowly drains the lifeforce of the grass to sustain the ghost of a victorian pit pony, But I've yet to find a 10mm socket the hard way.

    • @andrewgreeb916
      @andrewgreeb916 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      The problem is the wizards and engineers who do collaborations always seem to create something dangerous or unstable over something practical.

    • @FerretyZebra
      @FerretyZebra 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@andrewgreeb916 thats not true only 1/3 of all Wizard and engineer creations try to take over the world

    • @bobthebob6444
      @bobthebob6444 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I think you are looking for an artificer?

  • @tally9542
    @tally9542 2 ปีที่แล้ว +48

    FINALLY someone is saying something. My father works as the town fire-fighter and the ammount of magical fires he's had to put out from old men wizards going crazy is absurd. #BeNormalNotMagical

    • @valletas
      @valletas ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Are you sure these arent the work of fairies? One time i saw them burning down my house while recording me and my wife crying as a "prank" for clout

    • @TheNinja94a
      @TheNinja94a ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@valletas YOU BURNED MY HOUSE TO THE GROUND

    • @willam1992
      @willam1992 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      The randomly exploding towers are also an issue. I miss my glass windows :(

    • @olasdorosdiliusimilius2174
      @olasdorosdiliusimilius2174 ปีที่แล้ว

      ​@@valletas Aren't fairies the ones who steal children? What do they do with them? Probably a bunch of pedophiles or something.

    • @mailcs06
      @mailcs06 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Sorry, I was born with Excessive Unstable Magic Syndrome so I literally can't be normal or I'll explode :(

  • @krossdreemurr42
    @krossdreemurr42 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    As a young Wizard, I am personally offended. Especially as one who specializes in supportive healing magics.

  • @dana_____
    @dana_____ 2 ปีที่แล้ว +150

    Yeah and the amount of animal body parts sold to wizards for spells is unbelievable, in addition to increasing animal suffering, it's inflated animal product prices like crazy. Not everyone has a wizard's salary to pay for food.

    • @deadlydingus1138
      @deadlydingus1138 2 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Not to mention, animals are going extinct even today just because some dumbass thinks that the toenails of a maned wolf or some shit will fix their divorce.

    • @andrewgreeb916
      @andrewgreeb916 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Not to mention those cave wizards are spreading diseases and other stuff cause they feel the need to collect bat guano and other crap for spells.

    • @FerretyZebra
      @FerretyZebra 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      There a non meat options for nutrition

    • @Sharkakaka
      @Sharkakaka 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Have you seen the entry level wizard salaries recently? That's barely minimum wage.

    • @funguy398
      @funguy398 ปีที่แล้ว

      Not get me started at those who started to grow chimeras which have abnormal amount of organs just to sell it.
      1. Its dangerous
      2. Its cruel
      3. The quality of potions droped
      4. The local witches can't compete and closes

  • @Saltier
    @Saltier 2 ปีที่แล้ว +23

    As a cleric, necromancy isn't just raising the dead it's also keeping the living alive. Healing word and lesser restoration are necromantic spells.

  • @JettKuso
    @JettKuso ปีที่แล้ว +11

    If you hate wizards so much why are you so obsessed with our orbs?

  • @T1mo777
    @T1mo777 2 ปีที่แล้ว +23

    2:08 *It's not the middle ages anymore and Goblins Have GUNS"
    Omg I can't 😭

  • @silent0089
    @silent0089 2 ปีที่แล้ว +239

    Mattias: let's not be too judgemental
    also Mattias: *_WIZARDS ARE PERVERTS_*

    • @TheCat_3
      @TheCat_3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      He's not judging, it's just a fact

  • @MidnightDrake
    @MidnightDrake ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Can we talk about how downright scary clerics can be?? Met one the other day, he almost called down the slap of god on a thief. Crazy, man..

  • @jayjo4485
    @jayjo4485 2 ปีที่แล้ว +62

    0:18 - "not generalize based on stereotypes, so I'm going to try my best not to be judgmental"
    "Number 5. All Wizards are perverts"

  • @krieg1583
    @krieg1583 2 ปีที่แล้ว +34

    Two more years and i will turn into a wizard, hope my future isn't so magical

  • @vrygon0
    @vrygon0 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    Let's not even start with sorcerer's and druids

  • @EvetheFurry
    @EvetheFurry 2 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    0:42
    “2 years, 17 days”
    “What?”
    “From a stroke. GOOD DAY!” *runs in the other direction*

  • @FaeriePrince
    @FaeriePrince 2 ปีที่แล้ว +39

    Not all wizards are old! I mean, I'm so incredibly youthful. I'm only a few thousand years old, but I do agree that this dark magic fad has to stop. I mean, just become a warlock at that point and stop giving wizards a bad rap!

  • @Negi1001
    @Negi1001 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    We need more people running around being wizards. Like a furry, but a wizard.

  • @JokingThief
    @JokingThief 2 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    The subtle lore through this video was fucking tactical dude. Your storytelling is always great, even if it's being animated by no more than stick figures.

  • @ZelphTheWebmancer
    @ZelphTheWebmancer 2 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    As a Warlock of the Dark God Bhaal I can confirm the red sky and the gates of hell opening is the fault of Wizards.

    • @technic1285
      @technic1285 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      As a battlemage and devout follower of Crüthtar, Summoner of Red Skies, I too blame the wizards.

  • @berhonkusbardledoo
    @berhonkusbardledoo ปีที่แล้ว +6

    This video was not sponsored by the Shadow Government.
    Hopefully he doesn’t get canceled by the Shadow Wizard Money Gang.

  • @cartoonkenj2209
    @cartoonkenj2209 2 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    “Technology beats magic every time”
    Artificers: *heavy breathing*

  • @icecold1805
    @icecold1805 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    your frustration feels so genuine against this fictional characters, it makes me wonder if wizards actually do exist and everyone knows already and I am an idiot who doesn't know.

  • @nonya1366
    @nonya1366 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    As a person who sells firearms to goblins, I can confirm that they are fully armed.

    • @nuclearwinter5748
      @nuclearwinter5748 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      shhhh, you aren't supposed to talk about the illegal goblin arm trade in public you want the guards to arrest us?

    • @nonya1366
      @nonya1366 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@nuclearwinter5748 The world is ending, we'll be fine.

  • @monkeman7601
    @monkeman7601 2 ปีที่แล้ว +71

    I as a fellow wizard hatist i can assure you they are terrible beings

    • @protoncode3024
      @protoncode3024 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      👀

    • @shytendeakatamanoir9740
      @shytendeakatamanoir9740 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      I am a Wizard Hat Maker and... Well, I would agree.
      They're so stingy for people that can create infinite money. And they have such crazy demands as well! They all want to have the tallest, most ornate one to see how important they are.
      I mean, they're still better than bards I guess...

    • @Neion8
      @Neion8 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@shytendeakatamanoir9740 Idk man, when you see what some of them do to their familiars... *shudder*

  • @chronofactor2037
    @chronofactor2037 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    Wizards don't pay their taxes, Magicians pay their taxes, be cool and have a secret compartment in your hat, not in your basement!

  • @Terrahex1
    @Terrahex1 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    I absolutely love how you put the "I respect everyone" line before the "All Wizards are perverts" line.

  • @cailer28000
    @cailer28000 2 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    You've been able to make me laugh about something im not even acquainted of.
    Congrats

  • @figo3554
    @figo3554 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    I was once driving when I met a wizard you yelled at me "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!". Like come on man, if you don't want me to pass you, stop driving so slow!

  • @GraveUypo
    @GraveUypo ปีที่แล้ว +3

    One time i paired with a wizard to do a quest that involved defeating highly agile skeletal warriors. They were super hard to hit as their speed was inhuman and they were numerous. The wizard, trying to be helpful, figured he would solve this issue with it with a massive quagmire spell. Sure, the skeletons slowed right now. But so did I, and so did he. In fact, he was drowning in his own stupid spell and i had to scramble to rescue him while running away in slow motion from sluggish skeletons in a bog. My peers mock me for it to this day. I'll never live that one down. It wasn't even my fault, damnit!

  • @quad7685
    @quad7685 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    New channel icon! I like your first one, but I think the more cartoony representation of you fits better. I think I re-watch your videos a little too much 😄

    • @MattiasPilhede
      @MattiasPilhede  2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      You're the first person to mention it, congrats!
      Experimenting a bit with icons still, but I like this one. I think it will suit the style of future content I want to make a lot more.

  • @DreadisDead
    @DreadisDead 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    It's been so long since I started drawing 'serious' because of your fundamental video. The "any idiot can draw" video. Thanks again for being my favorite artist and doing what you do best with your videos.
    You're a true artist.

  • @TK0921
    @TK0921 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    As a goblin wizard I can confirm all of these are true. Especially the part about goblins having guns.

  • @Drekromancer
    @Drekromancer 2 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    This video fills me with an unreasonable amount of joy. The Wizard wojak faces are just so perfect. Please make more of these!

  • @Emiliapocalypse
    @Emiliapocalypse 2 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    A wizard walked up to me in the mall once and said something to the effect of “you have a special energy around you” and wanted to tell my fortune. I told her I didn’t have any money and she walked off. Greedy wizards 🧙‍♂️💰

  • @KaydanWestfall
    @KaydanWestfall 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    2:17 ok hear me out, what if we make magic and technology work together?? bullets that magically pierce through all objects, bullet proof vests that make you go invisible, metal arms and such that are animated by magic to be limbs for people who don't have any, flying cars, probably more idk

  • @iamreliable7739
    @iamreliable7739 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    YES! O my god, U have no idea how long I have been wanting to tell people about this! Thank you

  • @thatrandomcrit5823
    @thatrandomcrit5823 2 ปีที่แล้ว +59

    Ok, wizards may be bad, but not all magic users, right?

    • @creditsunknown7974
      @creditsunknown7974 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Depends, Sorcerers are egotistical, Magicians are scary with their pigeon magic, I dont know what the fuck is going on with Eldritch knights, Druids and Witches are sometimes too weird. And as a Warlock we mainly just curse people or give them spells that hurt them as a symbol of greed, so we qre normally not good at talking and social skills.

    • @aierisfrost8447
      @aierisfrost8447 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@creditsunknown7974
      What about dragons
      Aren't they magic incarnate according to dnd or something

    • @creditsunknown7974
      @creditsunknown7974 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@aierisfrost8447 Some are magical, some are just like big fluffy bears.
      Depends really, moat just hoard stuff and are like "bring me a hundred eggs or something" and the pay is not even that good!
      And do NOT get me started when they act like landlords.

    • @Mad_Tongues
      @Mad_Tongues 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      As a DM I can say yeah I no they're all pretty bad not just the magically inclined but the martially inclined.

    • @theloweffortchannel7211
      @theloweffortchannel7211 ปีที่แล้ว

      @ꨆꨟꨮꩆ ꨣꨰꨕ Stands are basically a familiar. Spin is using an exploit, hamon seems to be real magic.

  • @SonOfMeme
    @SonOfMeme ปีที่แล้ว +3

    They also keep setting my path ablaze

  • @Silver_Sonic_23
    @Silver_Sonic_23 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    I don’t know what you’re talking about. The sky has always been red.

  • @Wooktent
    @Wooktent 2 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    In another universe, this is a viral video that has gained a lot of angry controversy amongst the Wizards and pro-Wizard communities.

  • @thecheesen
    @thecheesen ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Reminds me of the time that one wizard at a party i was in just randomly started ranting about Dragons. Naturally there weren't any at the party (wizards are so cowardly, smh) but my kobold friend was _pissed._ Hasn't come back from the stellar dimension yet.

  • @iamalie2039
    @iamalie2039 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    This is why I’m a witch. Much more environmentally friendly and gives my skills to help sell fruits and vegetables on the side /j

    • @creditsunknown7974
      @creditsunknown7974 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Dude, everyone knows cauldron fumes are the main cause for Global Warming.

    • @valletas
      @valletas ปีที่แล้ว

      Why be a witch when you can join the ruinous power and be a hag?
      Having your house be alive and eat locals is objectively better and more badass then brewing potions to cure people