The Narcissists Neglect. ( Narcissistic Relationships.)
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 28 ก.ค. 2021
- The neglectful narcissist.
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I don’t even think that you need to inflict a narcissistic injury for them to act out and lie, cheat, discard you. Sometimes all they want is to blame you (for whatever they come up with) so they can leave you to meet up with their affair partner.
A relationship with a narc will mostly result to be a painful one sided relationship until it becomes a; "full time job without pay" or "being with a stranger who barley does put effort to know The US in a relationship and tell you they love you".. as it's explained very well by your video on about: Interminent Reinforcement. Punish (or Withold) and Reward.
It's mind boggling, the amount of excuse a narc can make up just to avoid a bit of mutual responsibility and accountability. They can make an excuse out of a whim just be excused and excepted when the relationship goes tough and when your starting to take notice and communicating of their breadcrumbing.
It's horrifying to think how we can be brainwashed for multiple months to years of exposure with cluster B's. To the point that some of us can give them so much the benefit of the doubt by trying to think and feel whats like in their situation or feeling when the narc does a mistake or screws up and talk it out. If
It's the opposite, when you make a mistake some narcs will either neglect you or bring up past mistakes that is no longer relevant to the situation and hold their grudge. And withdraws back sulking without communicating again even if you try to be the ear for them.. It's like your accused as the villain, a total bad person and forgetting all the good that you guys had together. All black and white thinking.. And comes back like nothing happened.
And if they can't really share anything.. another reminder is narcs mostly are empty. They don't have a real identity to share with us authenticaly. If they did, they'll be sharing or showing an illusion of intimacy, but the heart and sincerity.. was never there. Because, there is no real person there. It's an act. They may be that way because they too might be victims of neglect. But, still not an excuse in adulthood to carry and project all that on us partners. We can choose to be better people.
Love out of convenience is never real love. If you're treated and neglected like a "come in and go convenience store " painfully, walk away and heal. It's a Stockholm syndrome and is never love.
"The heart gets confused (and sick) when it's constantly told i love you by the same person who destroys it"
I get passionate commenting after watching E.S. videos. Spot on. Especially the motivation part of every video. Thank you, E.S.
They drain you dry
My father loves being neglectful, hypocritical, malicious, backstabbing, being greedy, double standard, he loves belittling, talking crap behind my back, destroying my self esteem, breadcrumbing me etc.
Wow, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve said bread crumb in the last five months
I’ve been living on them, a steady diet of crumbs
💜💜
I should update, we’ve been broken up for almost 2 to 3 weeks
And I’m sticking with it finally
I just thought, "why do they stick around if Im so terrible? What are they doing in my house?"
Because it's a game to them.
@@tracyewilson3536
Yeah, Lots of laughs.
Taking advantage of vulnerable trusting people, Its sadistic cruelty.
This explains something that has been bothering me. I started paying more attention to him after he wrote me a note and in the note he spoke about how fun I was to be around because I liked sports and I love the Sixers. I somehow had this idea that we were both Sixers fans and would watch the games together. I was open to a friendship and maybe more but I centered so much around our shared love of basketball. One day on a mean streak he criticized me and told me I should root for another team. This was after my team lost game 7 and I was crushed. The team was a team we swept in the previous round. I was so confused for a while how we went from admiring me for my love of sports and my team to putting me down. We never watched one game together after he hooked up and he didn’t even watch them on his own. I didn’t even peep that maybe he was mirroring my likes to get in good. Because I swore that he really knew me and understood me and this was something we had in common.
Oh boy
I wish more of these addressed the neglectful narcissist as a parent instead of always focusing on the partner role.
Noted. Thank you, good point 💜
Thank You ❤...
It's like a sprinkle of rain in the 🏜 desert... then out pops a single desert bloom... and you think... there it is ➡️🌸... proof of their love ... and the cycle continues ♾.
First birthday with them and I cried harder than ever
💜💜
This sums up the abuse I'm experiencing perfectly. Thank you so
This was therapeutic
This video meant everything to me. Every word and delivery resonated. Whew!..... Elizabeth, what do you do when you are the Parent of a narcissistic adult child (mid 20s)?
It is as if you are here watching my relationship visually play out and doing the commentary!
I went to family counselling with my adult child and it left me re-traumatised. The Counsellor validated my adult child and in fact blamed me in the sessions. She was totally manipulated by how my child presents (caring, giving & the victim!). This was before their recent discard of me, when the penny just clicked and EVERYTHING in the past made sense ie I realised they were a covert narcissist.
I have fibromyalgia and my child was supposed to be 'supporting' me, also we were working on a house refurbishment project together (which has stalled several times because of their sabotaging and emotionally blackmailing behaviour!) and they blocked me from contacting them because I was encouraging them to commit to their promises! In response, their flip the script victim narrative was that I was 'belittling and being rude' to them and that they are the only person there for me' 🤔 (? I guess that will be the story for the smear campaign, right?) and the things that they had promised to help me with all fell by the wayside when they responded with the silent treatment and discard! It is quite incredible!
It is trite, petty, immature, punishing, vindictive, malicious, cruel, cold unconscionable and lacking in compassion and empathy, all at the same time. Whilst being so painful and heartbreaking 💔 Which is what it was calculated to be.
Excellent dissertion on the most importANT TOPIC FOR THE WORLD TO BE AWARE OF. You are a really god presenter and I appreciate the depth you put into it.
Thank you for watching 💜
Elizabeth this video has triggered those painful memories but in a good way of the emotional and mental abuse the narcissistic ex wife put me through. In 2003 - 2009 as my Charcot Marie Tooth disease was progressing, she showed she did not care. She belittled me, humiliated me in front of the kids and others. She made me feel guilty for having hand tremors, when my ankles or knees gave in, or even for having Charcot Marie Tooth disease. She turned around in Court and said I am mentally ill and I lied about my health in order to keep the kids away from me. The mental health evaluations she wanted me to go through came back I am not mentally ill, yet she said the mental health evaluation was not carried out properly. This video tells me how grateful I am not to be in the marriage with her. Thank you Elizabeth for this eye opener.
💜💜
Thanks
Excellent video
Thank you for watching 💜
Thank you so much for your videos. I have only finally been able to put the label of covert narcissist on my husband of almost 23 yrs over the last couple years. I had always felt he had a lot of narcissistic tendencies, but he didn't fit the typical, boisterous, in your face narcissist that we are always presented with. He's much more introverted. Once I learned about the covert narcissist, I finally had the answer I had been looking for.
The only problem is what to do with him. He has finally accepted that he has this personality disorder and is acknowledging the damage it's done over the course of our marriage. I just don't know how to heal from the years of abuse and move on together. Our lives are fully intertwined - he's my best friend and the father of my kids. We have future plans for ourselves that would likely be destroyed if we split. There's just so much damage that I feel like the only way to truly heal would be to leave him. I so fear making the wrong choice, either way.
@Solitude Standing11 that's what everything I have read and watched has said. He is definitely trying in some ways, but also so not trying in many other ways. Sometimes he will recognize the tactics he is using and then try to correct what he said, but most of the time he doesn't.
I feel like I should at least give him a trial period to see how much improvement he can make now that he has acknowledged his disorder. He had been able to improve on some things in the past, but usually for a short time before he reverts back to normal. That was before he accepted who he is. Although he still tries to act like the narcissism is coming from some "other self" and he wants to be the self that he always thought that he was (the good guy). It feels like more distancing and passing of blame. I hope not.
Wow. This is my ex-husband. Just enough self-awareness to give me hope. He actually tried many times to improve and I could tell he admired my traits and wanted to be "good" but could only try for a short time before he would rationalize all of his behaviors again. He couldn't fully accept what he was doing with any consistency. So the idea that that he was future faking didn't really fit. This is why it took so long to leave. And if I'm totally honest, if he hadn't had a breathtakingly beautiful woman start paying him her full sexy attention, I doubt he would have discarded me. He needed me to believe in him so he could believe in himself. I was so resentful that such a woman literally landed on our doorstep for our rental, but now I'm glad because he would have never otherwise let me go. And my darkside has a little schadenfreude that he is about to get played so hard by someone who has perfected their game since they have been beautiful and always gotten anything with their bright smile and full attention. I thought I'd lost everything, but now see that she was a gift to me. He was so quietly neglectful, I'd've jumped hoops forever. Not anymore.
I’m in a similar situation but ten fewer years married. But like you, questioning your future together and knowing that if I leave i will have to start fresh, and i feel very insecure about that bc i don’t have any supportive family and would be completely on my own to then start rebuilding-it’s quite a leap of faith.
Did you end of leaving? I hope you are well whether you stayed or left.
All of the insane crap she mentioned here, I dealt with for 26yrs from a nasty/evil wife. If I weren't 6ft and in above average shape, I believe she (5'3") would have been violent.
If you recognize any of the behaviors mentioned here, stop wasting your time and make a plan to leave.
I'm presently working on my retainer. Until then, I've gone silent and gray rock when absolutely necessary to talk.
4:35
My sister stops talking to me without explanation. She asks if I’m willing to see a therapist. I agree if she wants. The appointment date comes and goes- no explanation, and when Im hurt and make an assumption- I was wrong and shamed for assuming that when people have a life and get busy. It was scheduled for six months later, date comes and she asks if I’m still good for the phone call this afternoon, I say yes it’s important- despite being sick and busy with my sick child, other appointments, and homeschooling. She says she can’t do it with her kids being home- despite being at her boyfriends parents house- and cancels. When I ask about another date, she says she needs the appointments for her personal stuff and tells me to book one with mine that I just started seeing.
That appointment never happened two years later. What’s the point when she’ll just cancel. So she gets to deflect the responsibility to me- she was willing to do therapy, but I didn’t arrange it. Whenever I try to talk about something significant, she says “if you want to talk make an appointment”
So… She doesn’t look bad and gets to ostracized me at the same time.
This is such a perfect storm for me right now, my dad has been in a home for a few months, and I took care of him for three years
I am an empath
So automatically, I started giving to this new person when I met him, not huge, just little things, like picking up packages while he was away at work, buying nice birthday gift just things like that
But it is so apparent that he has neglectful because he has not even asked about my dad, in fact last week when I told him, my dad was declining. The next response I got from him was to F off and I haven’t heard from him since besides text calling me crazy .
Who would do that when somebody’s at the worst time of their life ?
End it was really rich, this week he sent me a meme of nine things to quit, it said, quit over, thinking, quit trying to be a people pleaser, etc.. I couldn’t believe he had the nerve to send that when he has turned me into the person I am today
But I’m taking back my power
That’s so mean!! 😢 I hope your Dad gets better and I hope you kick that bum outta your life forever!!!
I just wondered why do they stick around if Im so terrible? What are they doing in my house? GO HOME!
Thank you for this video, it helped me understand my mother. Are you by chance related to Ed Shaw, the artist who made the comic strip Marlon Keel?
Hi, not that I’m aware of 💜
The list I've made just gets longer every day ...
🤔
I cannot imagine anything more than a platonic aquantice-ship with a female covert..gosh, as soon as I hung out with her a few hours I felt myself go into social worker mode and saw her as a person with pretty severe something, I asked her face to face if she was abused as a kid..she just blew me off..then made odd retaliative comments rather bizzare to me, she had big pretence towards me like I was a dirt bag guy and this ended soon..few days later she invited me over and every word out of her mouth was a lie, she could not keep it straight..then ignored me, blatantly..I'm my head I was, this ain't happening...contact ended eventually. Just that was horrid, of course she txtd asking for unreasonable rides, asked me to lie for her in court, I called her a criminal ..at this point I just was honest..I told her she met all criteria for covert narcissism. I'm leaving out her felony drug arrests, her voluntarily giving up her 2 kids, I was no contact around that time..my gosh the negative victim delusions wee sickening .that was it..yuk
Are they treating other people this way too? Or is it just me?
Narcissistic Supply: People Who Feed the Ego of a Narcissist? | Narcissistic Behaviour.
th-cam.com/video/XZYIS2FOU8A/w-d-xo.html